This is the Business English Podcast, Episode 502.
It's water under the bridge, how to accept an apology at work.
Welcome to the Business English podcast from All Ears English.
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This is Real Business English, with your favorite American hosts, Lindsay and Michelle, coming to you from New York City and Colorado, USA.
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Hey Michelle.
How's it going today?
Everything's good.
Lindsey, what do you think is the most beautiful bridge in the united states?
That's a good question.
I think the golden gate bridge is really beautiful in san francisco.
I was gonna say that too, oh yeah yes, the brooklyn bridge is beautiful as well, but i gotta go golden gate.
I don't know.
Yeah, i'm not really a san francisco person.
I don't love the city of san francisco, but i like the bridge, so we'll take the bridge.
That's good, All right.
But today we're going to talk about a special idiom that deals with bridges, to talk about forgiveness, which is really good for the business world.
So, Lindsay, this idiom is water under the bridge bridge.
Yeah.
Bridges and forgiveness.
Interesting topic today.
It makes me think of the Adele song.
I think there's an Adele song where it's either named that or she uses the phrase in it.
I think, yeah.
I'm not going to sing it, but I can hear it in my head.
You could never sing as well as Adele.
No, no, no, no.
So guys, make sure you hit the follow button wherever you're listening to the Business English Podcast, so you never miss anything from us.
Yes.
Good stuff.
So we say water under the bridge.
It's water under the bridge.
Is that typically what we say, Michelle?
Yep.
And it means that it's okay, right?
It doesn't matter anymore.
It's forgotten.
You know, it's like there was some sort of situation that happened in the past and now we're, we're getting beat, you know, we're trying to get rid of it.
Right.
But why is this important for business?
Well, I think in business, you know, we're human beings.
We have little like sometimes we have issues and things come up between interpersonally speaking.
But then we still have to continue to do business with people, whether it's our coworkers or a manager.
And so it's important to like be the be the bigger person in a sense, and like look past things and really get over them.
You know, I mean, really move on, move past it.
Yep, exactly.
Exactly.
And it's okay to acknowledge that something was like that something was an offense, that something wrong did happen.
And I think that's what this is doing is like we're adults.
We can acknowledge that there was something that happened that was awkward or didn't go so well.
And we're acknowledging that it's water under the bridge, but we're saying we're forgetting about it.
I love that.
And that just clears the space to continue to work together.
And if someone is always carrying a grudge on their shoulder or a chip I'm, I'm combining two idioms combining a chip on their shoulder, holding a grudge, a chip on their shoulder.
Right.
Do you ever do that?
Do you combine two idioms?
I feel like I don't know that I do, but I'm sure I do.
I'm sure we do it all the time.
It must be confusing for our listeners.
So chip on their shoulder.
It's just, it's not pleasant and it's not pleasant for either party.
Right.
When that happens.
Exactly.
I mean, and I think this can be used both in and outside of work Lindsay, do you think it's particularly formal or informal?
I think it's kind of neutral.
I mean it's kind of both.
It could be fine at home, in your social life, at work.
No, I mean both.
It's diverse.
Yes, exactly.
So feel free to use this when you need to.
Lindsay, what's an example of how it might sound?
Okay, so for example, Janelle came to me to apologize for forgetting the files.
I told her it's water under the bridge.
And the thing we're not talking about today but is important to mention, is it's really good to apologize.
You know, if you feel like you were in the wrong at work, you've done something and it's bothering you, even if you come back like a little while later, it is really nice to do that, you know, to acknowledge that you did something wrong and you apologize.
You were out of line.
Maybe we could do another episode about that, but actually we've never done before.
Yeah, and it for sure and it can.
I mean, it's hard to apologize sometimes.
Yeah, it takes a big person.
I think.
Yeah definitely definitely um, or here's another example we've had some, we have had our disagreements over some key financial decisions, but it is all water under the bridge now.
Yeah, Should this be used for small things, big things, Michelle.
What is the gravity of what we're talking about?
I would say generally there's some distance to it.
And I wouldn't use it like, oh, sorry, I bumped into you.
Oh, it's water under the bridge.
It wouldn't be... something for something as small as that.
It's used.
I mean, it could be as soon as after an offense.
But to me, it's usually after some time, don't you think?
Totally.
Yeah.
Yeah.
100%.
Some disagreement, maybe someone quits a company and they leave in kind of a not very becoming way.
Like there's some drama and they're kind of, you know, they say don't burn your bridges, but they're just upset.
And so they say things that shouldn't be said.
Then maybe later, they come back three months later and apologize.
And that would be a time to respond.
Or you run into somebody, like at some sort of professional event, and you might say hey, you know, I know things didn't end well, you know?
Oh, it's water under the bridge.
So I think there's generally some distance between, you know, the offense and using this expression.
But and yeah, I don't think it's like, oh, you stepped on my toe.
It's water under the bridge.
Like, it's just too much.
That's a good point.
That's an important point that you're making here, Michelle.
So there's some space.
How much space is there?
So let's say that someone quits and they're angry and they're bitter and they say rude things about the company as they're leaving to their manager.
The next day.
Could the manager say that, or is that too soon?
Like if the manager says it's water under the bridge.
Oh yeah like yeah, i think.
I mean, i think it depends on the kind of offense, like what happened?
How bad was it?
How willing are you like?
Don't use this expression if you don't really feel that way, if you're still upset about it.
I think you really have to be genuine in order to use this, don't you think?
Yeah, I totally agree.
And you also need to have someone apologize to you to use it.
Like it would be weird if it just came out of nowhere.
It's just like, oh, everything's water under the bridge.
You wouldn't use it.
Someone else, that person that the offending party needs to take the first step.
Right, Michelle?
Right, right.
It can't just, yeah.
That's a good point.
Yeah, you're not just going, oh, Lindsay, let me tell you what you did to me.
That was water under the bridge, right?
So let's move on.
No, no, no, no.
No, it's it's a response.
It's a response.
Yes.
Really important.
I mean, these are things that we take for granted, but this is really important timing of this.
When does it?
Because the idea of water under the bridge kind of means there's some distance.
That's happened.
Some time has passed.
And right.
Yeah.
And because soon after the offense.
Yeah, exactly.
Things are processed.
You know, soon after something happens, you might be really, really mad.
And there's a physical response when you're angry.
I mean, Lindsay, do you ever feel that when you're angry?
Like it takes.
I think I read somewhere once it's like seven minutes or it takes a certain amount like for your body to biologically be able to like.
There is some sort of you know, when you're angry, there's some sort of really physical feeling.
Yeah. might feel hot.
You might feel, you know.
Yeah.
Cortisol punch, cortisol rushing, rushing through your blood for sure.
For sure.
So yeah, you gotta, you can't be in that space and say something is water under the bridge.
Yeah, no, this takes distance.
This takes space.
Maybe that's days, maybe that's weeks, maybe that's months, depending on what happened.
So really good, really important to build the full context around this medium, this phrase.
Yes.
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Okay Michelle, let's look at some other ways to say it, and we'll talk about how they might be less powerful or more powerful.
Like, don't worry about it.
Don't worry about it, yeah.
So this is.
This is different.
This is a totally different kind of yeah, you know, acceptance of an apology.
This could be for someone bumps into you in the hall um yeah, so this is more broad, like more um, suitable for multiple scenarios.
I think yes right, and you're gonna hear it more like again, it's water under the bridge.
That's not something that you just like run around saying all the time.
Yeah, for sure.
Let's do an example here.
So, okay.
I'm so sorry again for what happened during the presentation.
Don't worry about it.
Yeah.
I mean, sometimes people can use this if they don't mean it to you know, as they're accepting an apology.
You know, there can be a little bit of that, too.
But hopefully that we don't say that if we don't mean it.
Yeah.
This just applies to a lot of different scenarios.
This is very, very common.
Pretty neutral.
The next one is no hard feelings.
Yeah.
What do you think about this one?
Yeah, I think this one's good.
This I feel like this phrase has been around forever.
Yeah.
And I think it's good.
Yeah.
I mean, so for example, I know that meeting was intense and I apologize for how I spoke to you.
Oh, it's okay, Lindsay.
Really?
No hard feelings.
Yeah.
I think the important thing is that the person's apologizing here.
Yep.
You know?
Yeah, exactly.
And then one more is let's put it behind us.
So for example, Lindsay, I wanted to apologize for how everything went down yesterday.
Okay. it's okay, Michelle, let's put it behind us.
Yeah.
So that's, that was just being very clear that you that I want to move on.
You know I want to move forward and still be friends or still be business partners and just be able to clear the air a little bit.
Exactly.
I mean, sometimes you also you might want to convince someone you really are over something, right?
So like, You might add words like really or use more than one expression, right?
Like you really feel like you have to convince them.
I think in one of the examples, oh, really, no hard feelings.
It's okay, really no hard feelings.
So you're like mushing things together because sometimes –
Sometimes if you're the one apologizing, you might not be convinced that the person is actually OK.
Yeah.
You know, with just like one reassurance, you know, so it might that person might need some extra reassurance or to really believe that you're not still mad, you know.
Yeah, it's a good point.
We can get a gauge on this by looking at body language, by paying attention.
Yeah.
Are they making eye contact or not?
Or, you know, we know as human beings what to do here, I think, right?
Yeah, exactly.
Exactly.
So should we put it together in another role play?
Let's do it.
So here we had a disagreement in a meeting.
So maybe we're coworkers and we haven't seen each other since that disagreement.
So it's been three days and now you're going to come to my office.
Okay.
Okay.
Here we go.
Hey, Lindsay.
Oh, hi, Michelle.
Um, I just wanted to apologize for how I spoke to you during the meeting.
Oh, Michelle, it's water under the bridge.
No, but it wasn't right, and I've been feeling awful about how I acted.
Really?
It's okay.
Let's put it behind us.
It's in the past.
And I'm sorry, too, for how I acted.
Oh, don't worry about it.
Yeah, so I'm doing a lot of...
Kind of clean up work here to make it reassurance.
Yeah.
To make it clear that I'm OK.
Let's go through it.
So you came over into my office and you said I wanted to apologize for how I spoke to you during the meeting.
So I think that's a really professional, mature thing to do.
Mm hmm.
Mm hmm.
Mm hmm.
And then you said, oh, Michelle, it's water under the bridge.
So again, it's been three days.
So, you know, it happened.
There's some distance.
Like we said, it's not going to happen if you come to the person five minutes later, right?
But a few days, a few weeks, it really depends.
Yeah, totally.
And then so I accepted your apology by saying it's water under the bridge.
But then you push back.
You say, no, but it wasn't right.
And I've been feeling awful.
So clearly it's really bothering you.
So I'm using some additional words, as we said, really, it's OK.
Let's put it behind us.
It's in the past.
I said four different things.
Right.
Right.
And it's in the past is another one that could be good for these situations.
So just wanted to highlight that it's in the past.
Um, and then you apologized as well.
Thank you, Lindsay.
Um, but sounds like you, sounds like I was the big offender.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Maybe things escalated a little bit, but yeah.
And then you accepted my apology and he said, oh, don't worry about it.
Right.
So seems like we're going to be okay after this, right?
I think we'll be fine, Lindsay.
I'm, I'm, I'm okay with this.
Yeah.
There's so much to learn about workplace dynamics here.
Oh, my God.
It's incredible.
Right.
I mean, another episode to check out, guys, would be Business English 496 just a few weeks ago.
Should you tell a supervisor you appreciate them?
And we're going to make another episode at some point on how to apologize.
Yes.
Right.
How to apologize.
Definitely.
They're.
Yeah, you got some examples of it here today but yeah, we should really highlight that, making a note.
Yeah, for sure.
Michelle, what's our takeaway?
Yeah, I mean this is just.
It's interesting because we're talking about being on the side of the one who may have been slighted, something's been done to, or even if it's not a personal thing maybe somebody didn't perform the way they should have and kind of let the team down.
Whatever it may be, there are different ways to kind of accept apologies.
And they can be all different.
I mean we talked about more neutral ones, like don't worry about it all the way up to it's water under the bridge.
And there's a lot of nuance that goes into these, but you guys are ready for this.
And that's why it's important to learn these for your stage of learning English.
Exactly.
You got it.
We need these key tools when we are using English at work.
I mean these important moments.
Don't let your relationships suffer because you don't have the English skills right.
Really important.
Oh my gosh.
All right.
That's huge.
All right, Michelle, you have a good rest of your day.
Guys, be sure to hit the follow button on Business English if you love our show.
All right.
Good.
All right, Lindsay, this was fun.
I will talk to you later.
Okay.
Bye.
Bye.
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