This is the Business English Podcast, Episode 477.
Let's take five.
How to create space when there's conflict at work.
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This is Real Business English, with your favorite American hosts, Lindsay and Michelle, coming to you from New York City and Colorado, USA.
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Hey, Lindsay, how are you?
Good, Michelle, how are you?
I'm doing well, thanks.
Lindsay, so things can sometimes get heated in the workplace, right?
Sometimes people disagree.
Why do you think this happens? human beings, right?
Especially in the physical workplace, but it can happen if we're working remotely too.
People disagree, like you said, different personalities can clash.
People get tired.
They get irritable.
Aspects of their daily lives, their personal lives, can seep in to work and affect our mindset right.
Right.
Yeah, definitely.
People can argue about ideas, maybe money or job roles, lots of things can come up.
You know, this is, it's uncomfortable, but it's important to be prepared, right?
Because like, let's say, you're in a meeting, it's important to be able to kind of take the temperature of those involved, especially if it's not going well or you think there may be a conflict.
And this is really important, especially for leaders to be able to see what's going on and try and cool things down.
So Lindsay, are we going to be talking about this today?
Like what you can say?
Yeah, let's get into it.
This is, as you said, this is a leadership skill.
It's almost like an empathetic skill that we need to have.
It's like the soft side of leadership that we need to develop the ability to think beyond what people are saying and see try to see how they're feeling, based on body language and Uh utterances.
Yeah.
Right.
They're not going to just tell you, oh, I'm in a argument with this coworker over this issue.
You have to read the tea leaves as they say.
Right.
Yes.
Exactly.
So today we're going to go over some things that you can say to encourage a break, right?
In order to kind of cool the air, to kind of take some of the edge off.
And I mean these can be useful even when it isn't necessarily heated, but just intense or difficult.
It doesn't have to be that people are having an actual argument, but just knowing okay, We need to kind of take a step back.
We're going to cool things down.
So this is how we can do it.
Yes, I love that.
Yeah, maybe your company just had a campaign didn't go well.
And so people are feeling kind of down.
That's another thing you might notice as a leader.
And these phrases might become useful, right?
Yeah.
So guys, before we get into it, we're going to show you how to do all of this, build these leadership skills.
But first, hit the follow button right now.
Make sure that Business English drops into your listening queue three days a week.
Definitely.
All right.
So let's go through some things that you could say.
And I think that all of these should probably start with let's or I think, or maybe we should any sort of introduction like that and you can play with it.
But the first one I've teased already was take a step back.
So you could say, let's take a step back, or maybe we should, right?
Take a step back.
So for example...
Let's take a step back.
We need to remember to focus on the client's priorities.
Yes, for sure.
So let's take a step back.
Sounds very natural.
It's a reset, a chance to show people to reset and refocus, right?
Yep.
Yep.
What's the next one, Lindsay?
This is common.
Yeah.
Take five.
I think we should take five.
Everyone grab a coffee and meet back here by 3.30.
So what do we mean by take five?
Take five cookies, what?
Take five minutes.
Yeah, exactly.
Whenever you hear take five cookies, that would be great.
And then whenever you hear take five, it means take five minutes, right?
And so yeah, maybe you just realize, okay, things are getting a little bit complicated.
Let's just take five.
Sometimes that's all you need.
Yeah, I think when, especially maybe, you're having an intense I don't know, like there's a problem you're trying to solve as a team and it's just getting kind of intense in your mind.
Maybe it's not even an argument.
It's just a complicated thing you're working on.
Sometimes you just need to step back, take five, maybe step outside, breathe the fresh air.
Yeah, definitely.
Oh, and speaking of breathing the fresh air, here's the next one.
It's take a breather.
Also really good.
So I can see things are getting a little tense.
Let's take a breather, get some fresh air and then come back in 10 minutes.
It's amazing what that can do for you, Michelle, the human body, just by stepping outside.
Have you noticed that?
Oh, I definitely noticed that.
Yeah, I know we've talked about that.
I mean for both of us sometimes.
And it's good if you can catch that feeling sooner than later, because sometimes if you're sitting and you're looking and you're just thinking and thinking and thinking, it's good to start to realize okay, I've reached this point.
I need to step away instead of continue because...
It's not going to get any easier unless I take that break.
It's so true.
It's so true.
It's just something about the change in the brain chemistry that happens when we go outside.
Expand our field of view beyond just our home offices, for example.
It's powerful.
Yeah, absolutely.
So you're about to make a trade based on a friend's text.
But which you do you listen to?
Is it, we could buy a house in Tulum.
Get optioning those options.
We could lose everything.
Or let's do a little research.
Get your head in the trade and make the investment decision that's right for you.
Learn more at FINRA.org slash trade smart.
All right, Michelle, there's a few other things that a leader might say.
They might say, let's gather ourselves and regroup.
So, for example, maybe we should gather ourselves and regroup in order to finish this project successfully.
So that's kind of a little bit more formal to regroup, right?
We're going to get back together.
And what does that mean to gather ourselves?
Gather ourselves.
So Yeah, it's a little more vague.
The instruction here not giving any time period with which we should come back.
Just to collect ourselves is another way we might say that.
Yeah, yeah.
To get a little, just get it together.
Get it together.
Exactly.
You got it.
So why are these important?
Yeah, I mean again, if you are, I mean even if you're not a leader, but especially if you're a leader right, how to know, how to have that?
We've we talked a lot about kind of emotional intelligence, um at at work, and how to know when it's time to clear the air or give a break, what you can do right.
This is all about managing your team.
Um, so you know you might want to pay attention to.
Lindsay mentioned body language or the voice voices in the room.
So like how tense people sound to someone get upset.
Um, anything else that would be a clue?
Yeah.
Body language is good.
I think that the point of being a manager is helping people perform at the very highest level they can, helping them grow to become the best professional they can, to contribute the most to your company, but also to grow and feel fulfilled in their careers.
So it's not just about the logistics of the work at that point, right?
You're kind of rising above it a little bit and you're paying attention to like, the dynamics on a team as well, and each individual person and how they're doing.
So in order to get that performance, it's not just work, work, work.
You have to pay attention to them as human beings, right?
Yeah, yeah.
That's a really good point.
You're not a robot at work.
Yep, that's our whole philosophy here at All Ears English.
We're not robots when we walk into work, and that's why we teach you human business English here, right.
Absolutely.
All right, let's do a role play.
Lindsay, so...
I am leading a meeting and I noticed that you are getting a little bit upset about an interaction with a coworker.
Okay, let's see how this goes.
Here we go.
Okay.
Okay, so let's take a step back here and talk about something else.
Yes, I agree.
I can't work like this.
Oh, I get it.
Okay, let's take five and reconvene after we get some water and take a break.
Okay, sounds good.
It's good to take a breather.
Let's definitely gather ourselves and regroup.
Thanks, Michelle.
Great idea.
And it's interesting too.
If you think about the approach here, I think maybe a more rookie leader would think they have to solve it right away and it's their responsibility to solve it.
It may not even be a responsibility.
You're talking to adults.
It's probably their responsibility to solve the issue between them, right?
But you can provide the space.
You don't need to step in and become like, the conflict resolver, unless that's your role.
But giving like the forum and the space to make it more likely to happen is what you could do.
Right?
Yep.
Yep, exactly.
So really important there to just think of what what's going on?
What can I do?
What's my role here?
How much do I need to step in?
So this is what's going on in this role play.
Let's go through it.
I said, OK, so let's take a step back here and talk about something else.
So first, I just try and solve it with a let's change the subject.
Yeah, let's change the subject.
And then you said so.
I said, yes, I agree.
I can't work like this because I'm upset because I've had this interaction with another coworker.
And then you said, I get it.
So you're empathizing as the leader.
And then you're saying, okay, let's take five.
And that's not five cookies.
I wish it's five minutes.
And then I say, okay, sounds good.
So I'm responding well to that.
And then what, Michelle?
And then I said, yeah, it's good to take a breather.
Let's definitely gather ourselves and regroup.
So I'm just kind of reemphasizing what I was already saying.
But it's interesting how I make this pivot.
First, I just said, let's talk about something else.
And then I can say you're you are on fire.
Yeah, that's true.
You escalated the response, right?
Yeah.
So then I and then I just said, OK, actually, let's leave.
That's a good point.
Sometimes you just have to let dismiss the group for a few minutes.
And then we come back with a fresh perspective, right?
Yeah.
Interesting.
So I made that pivot.
I was able to see that.
Just changing the subject, it wasn't going to be enough.
Yes, I love it.
Guys, check out episode 473.
That was Hold the Meeting, How to Talk About Pop Culture at Work.
We had a lot of fun with that one.
That was a good one.
And I'm so glad we went into that because people follow pop culture.
They know that Taylor Swift got engaged this summer and we want to talk about it, right?
So in this episode, you learn how to do it.
So go check that out.
Michelle, what's your final takeaway for today?
Yeah, take the temperature of everybody in the room.
Not just if you're a boss, right?
Not just if you're a manager, but if you're anybody.
And maybe you do need to sometimes throw out these phrases.
Always consider your relationship to the people and so how you would want to use these, because maybe sometimes it's better for a leader to say it.
But just always kind of be observing and think maybe sometimes just go outside.
Yeah, go outside.
I might do that after we record today.
It's been a good recording session, but just breathing the air, Michelle, is just good.
It restores your energy, right?
I love it.
So good.
All right, Michelle, we'll see you back here very soon.
Have a good day.
All right.
You too, Lindsay.
Bye, guys.
All right.
Bye.
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