This is the Business English Podcast episode 311.
Happens to the best of us.
How to show understanding at work.
Welcome to the Business English Podcast from All Ears English.
Get the English skills you need to achieve your dreams in global business.
For a presentation, a meeting, or your office party, this is Real Business English with your favorite American hosts, Lindsey and Aubrey coming to you from Arizona and Colorado, USA.
Hey there, Aubrey, what's shaking?
Hi, Lindsey. I'm great.
How are you? Excellent, fantastic.
Aubrey, question. You're ready?
Yes, I'm ready. So have you made any mistakes lately?
Let's say at work, any work mistakes, anything?
Oh, absolutely. Right.
It happens to the best of us.
I'm not above making mistakes, missing something, turning something in a little bit late.
What about you, Lindsey?
Oh yeah, well, yeah, lots of all kinds of mistakes in terms of little things and then broad strategic mistakes.
Yeah, hindsight's 20 -20, right?
Or like, oh, if I could go back, I would have done it differently.
100%. I mean, you wouldn't be human, right?
If you didn't make mistakes.
Right, exactly. It's actually what makes this such a great connection topic.
If you're willing to admit your mistakes, laugh about it, recognize we all do it.
What a great way to connect with others who also are making mistakes.
Yes, 100%. It's a connection moment at work.
And at Allers English, we're all about connection, not perfection.
So we bring everything we learn in English back to connection, in this case, in the workplace.
So this is part two of a three -part series, Aubrey.
Exactly. Part one was over on Allers English.
It was amazing. A student had asked us about the difference between happen to and happen with.
So we covered that, right?
Happen to or happen with, how to know the difference.
It was episode 2271.
And this is part two with some phrases we use with the word happen to, you know, really connect at work when someone makes a mistake.
There are a lot of things you can do to show understanding and show that we're all human.
It's a moment of opportunity, right?
And don't miss these moments.
This is how relationships get built, right?
And then part three will be...
Part three is on IELTS Energy.
Jessica and I are over there two days a week.
And that's going to be a good one, whether you are studying for IELTS or not.
So make sure to follow IELTS Energy for great vocabulary and tips over there as well.
Yeah. So what do we want to know here, Aubrey, about the topic broadly?
Yeah, just, you know, whether you have made a mistake or had a misfortune.
Maybe something has happened to you.
You know, it's nice to have co -workers show understanding.
If you share that you have made a mistake or something terrible has happened to you and you just get blank, nothing, awkwardness, that's going to break the connection.
Oh, for sure. It gives other people an opportunity to share their vulnerability or the mistakes they've made, right?
They could... Maybe they say, oh, my gosh, I'm sorry, that happened.
You know what happened to me last year?
I accidentally deleted our database or something like that.
Exactly. It's going to make you feel better.
Realize we're all human.
Exactly. So today you are going to learn four phrases that are perfect responses after someone either apologizes or shares they made a mistake or shares something bad that happened to them.
Yes, it's an opportunity.
So before we get into it today, Aubrey, we would love to pull our listeners over to our poll to participate, to answer a question.
What is today's question, Aubrey?
Yeah, we want to know what your workplace is like.
Is it supportive? So on Spotify you can answer our key poll question.
Do your coworkers show understanding when you make a mistake?
So come back to Spotify and answer and we'll announce the results in a couple of weeks.
Yeah, I'm really curious to know what kind of environments our listeners are working in because that could inform our episodes for you guys.
You know, if you're working in more harsh environments, then we could create content based on that.
How to loosen things up maybe change the culture a bit.
Yes, and if questions come up, you know, as you're thinking about this, as you're thinking about your workplace, you know, what phrases could I use to mitigate these kinds of issues that are happening?
Send those to us support at allersenglish .com.
Yes. So take the time to participate in the poll.
Send us your questions.
Let's get into it. Let's get the good stuff here.
The vocab Aubrey, what's number one?
All right. Number one is we use this at the beginning happens to the best of us and we often use this if someone has shared anything that might be a little embarrassing, a mistake, or they're apologizing.
This is a great way to respond.
Yes, exactly. So here are some sample sentences.
I'm sorry to hear that you lost the account.
It happens to the best of us or just happens to the best of us.
We can drop the it right right.
You know what the it is exactly with or you'll hear it both ways, right?
It happens to the best of us or we drop that good point or you might say, I heard you were out sick last week.
Sorry to hear it happens to the best of us.
So again, it's not just about mistakes made at work.
It could be again as you said Aubrey, that misfortune, something around work.
That's maybe affected work exactly.
And we often use it as a response when someone apologizes.
So let's do a mini roleplay and show what that might look like.
Here we go. I'm sorry.
I forgot your birthday.
No worries happens to the best of us.
This is a great example where you might feel really bad for forgetting my birthday.
This is such a kind thoughtful supportive thing for me to say be like, no worries happens to the best of us.
Yeah, and it does. I mean a lot of people forget birthdays sometimes right next year comes around you have another chance, right?
Exactly. So and the second one let's move on to the other thing we can say.
It's related. But what is very similar?
Yeah, it was just it happens right?
It's a very similar phrase.
You might say my new co -worker called me the wrong name.
But you know what it happens.
I like this one almost better.
It feels a little more casual a little I don't know easier to say because it's just right shorter same meaning.
So example that roleplay.
If you say I'm sorry forgot your birthday, I can be like it happens.
No big deal. Exactly.
It happens. Exactly.
Here's another roleplay to show our listeners.
Here we go right? I might say I'm sorry.
You didn't get the promotion you were hoping for not a problem.
It happens. Yeah, you can see how these are great for misfortune.
Someone's apologizing many mistake of both of these are perfect.
They show so much compassion, right?
For sure. For sure.
And this I know this is interesting because it's kind of commenting on our own misfortune here, right?
So this might have some cultural ties to American business culture around our need to kind of have a positive spin on everything.
Yeah, which is interesting to think about too because we're going to we're going to share this in a moment because it's important to know when not to share this because you would only want to say happens to the best of us or it happens if it is something that could happen to you, right?
If it's something very specific to someone it would be strange to say that or it's something like very serious.
Like if someone's family member passes away, we don't we don't say that happens to the best.
It happens. No. No, no, no, no, no, no.
It's a little dismissive.
These are perfect when you are highlighting that it's not a big deal.
You know, you don't mind that they made a mistake whereas if something Everything is a big deal, you wouldn't want to say these.
Yeah, there's a lot here.
There's culture here for sure.
So we're going to take a quick break and come back and go a little deeper into this topic.
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All right, Aubrey. Number three, what else can we say here?
Yeah, so we also say these things happen or this stuff happens, right?
Maybe an IT guy lets you know that it'll be a few hours before the internet's back up.
You might say, okay, thanks for letting me know these things happen.
Just showing your understanding.
Right, right. Because you don't want to take it out on the IT guy.
He's doing his best.
Right, exactly. He's down on the floor trying to fix the cords and everything.
Don't be mean. Don't be mean.
It's not his fault.
And then number four, accidents happen.
Okay? So someone spills a drink on you.
I know yesterday at my partner's workplace.
There was a colleague that walked into work and opened up the laptop and coffee spilled all over their laptop and they had to spend the whole day at Apple Support.
That would be the kind of thing that you know.
You've got to say something.
Accidents happen, right?
Because we're recognizing this is a really good thing to say.
It's a little more specific, right?
It's not going to be about like a mistake.
If someone apologizes for making a mistake, you wouldn't say this.
This is like spilled coffee is a perfect example.
Accidents happen. Don't sweat it.
Accidents happen. You're trying to make them feel better for just doing something that was very accidental.
And again, it's really interesting to think that these are all ways to kind of wrap things up in a positive container in a way.
Exactly. Yeah, just to show understanding so they don't feel like they're the only one that's ever done it.
You're letting them know this could happen to anyone.
Accidents happen. It's okay.
Right. And what's important to know here is it's not necessarily your cultural script to do that, right?
I would be really curious to know from our listeners in other parts of the world, maybe Western Europe or South America, Asia, is this a cultural expectation that you would put a positive spin on kind of a misfortune or a negative situation?
I have a feeling it's not a given, but in American business culture, it's kind of a given.
So we want to know that.
Yes, I would be curious because to me, it feels very human to not make someone feel worse about something they did, but it could be very cultural that in American business culture, we don't want to make people feel worse for what they did.
I'm curious if it's different.
Or it could be just for when someone else makes the mistake, but when the misfortune happens to us, we don't need to wrap it up.
I don't know. I'm really excited to know.
So we should open a conversation.
Maybe an open conversation club will get into this.
That would be awesome.
Yeah. So a fluency party.
Oh, that'd be fun. Yeah.
So another mini role play here, because we often use this as a response to an apology to like, if I say, I think I accidentally took your coffee, I'm so sorry.
Oh, no, big deal. Accidents happen.
Exactly. Right. You're trying to, because imagine if you were like, yeah, can you go buy me a new one?
That was really rude, or whatever.
Like instead of building the connection, making sure I don't feel terrible about it, you're, you know, letting me know it's okay.
It's very awkward when you actually drink someone's drink, right?
Take, or like, do you mean like literally at Starbucks, you took their coffee off the counter or like you drank, you took their coffee.
Right. It could be at work.
Maybe your mugs look the same or your cups and you take the wrong one or it could be like the coffee order arrives and you take the wrong one and it has cinnamon.
You're like, whoops.
Yeah. Yeah. Either way.
We want to say something there.
So what do we think, Aubrey?
What else do we need to know?
Yeah. So we sort of hinted about this, that there are definitely times you wouldn't say this, like you said, if a family member passes, right?
These are intentionally, all of these today are downplaying something in order to make people not feel so bad about it.
So if someone is apologizing for like work performance, like missing a meeting or being late, would we say this, you know, if it's like your project was not turned in on time happens to the best of us?
Probably not. Because in that case, we don't want to downplay.
We want people to know we need good performance at work.
It's important. Yeah.
A hundred percent. So especially if you're a management role setting a tone, that's the correct tone that you want for achievement in your workplace.
That's important, right?
You're going to give off the wrong signals if you make it feel like it was a mistake.
I mean, if there's an extra explanation there, maybe there was some kind of someone's car broke down and they couldn't get to their work, to the laptop or the laptop crashed.
They spoke often, like they couldn't complete the assignment.
Then maybe that kind of your, but then you're responding to them accident.
Then you're saying it about those circumstances, the fact that there was traffic or so this happened.
Oh, these things happen.
Right, right. But in general, we need to make it clear that people are held accountable for their work at the same time.
So use these two intentionally downplay, right?
If you want someone to not feel so bad about something that happened, these phrases are all perfect.
But anything you would not want to downplay sometimes in a leadership position, you actually have to let them know this is a big deal.
This is serious. You would not want to use a phrase that downplays the importance.
Wow. There's a lot here.
There is a lot here for work.
I love it. Depending on your position in a company, the circumstance, really good.
Should we go into a role play, Aubrey?
Let's do it. So in this role play, you and our coworkers, I'll start us off.
Bad news. I can't find my keys to the office.
I'll have a new set made.
Oh no. These things happen.
We may need to change the locks though.
I'm very sorry. I looked everywhere.
It happens. Let me know if you're able to find them.
This is just kind of a logistical thing.
This is not really about your effort.
Right. Right. It's not about work performance.
This is something that could happen to everyone.
And often I feel like this is a very human skill to recognize how badly someone already feels about something.
If I were being very flippant and I was like, I lost the keys.
No big deal. I'll have some.
Then you maybe wouldn't want to say these things happen.
It happens because I'm not being very careful.
I'm not being responsible.
But if you can see someone already feels terrible, then you might use these phrases.
Yeah. This is empathy expressing itself verbally and it starts with having those observation skills.
Right. Which is huge.
I mean, people build an entire career off of that.
Those skills. It's really important.
You know, yeah. Absolutely.
So let's go through this.
You first said, you know, I let you know that I've lost the keys.
You say these things happen.
And then I love this.
You're sort of adding, you know, we may need to change the locks, though.
So this is a very, I feel like nuanced way of you letting me know it kind of is a big deal, though.
Like it's not we can't just have a new set made.
Probably need to change the locks.
So this might be interesting, too.
You're reading like maybe I am being a little flippant about it.
You don't want me to feel terrible, but you're letting me know, like this is it is a problem.
Right. Kind of trying to communicate the impact.
Right. We want to understand for just making sure the building is secure.
Right. Which kind of shows that you can use one of these and then follow it up with, you know, something to let them know.
Interesting. Yes. And then I came back with what you said.
I'm very sorry, which sounds professional.
Sounds right. Right.
You're profusely apologizing.
I looked everywhere showing you put in a real effort.
And then I say, again, it happens.
Let me know if you're able to find them.
And then I'm just kind of focusing on the solution to keep the building secure.
Yeah, exactly. This is huge in American culture.
Like you said, Lindsay, I'm very curious what it is like elsewhere.
But we try not to berate someone.
We try not to make them feel worse about something that, yes, they made a mistake.
But does it. Is it positive?
Is it productive to make them feel even worse about it?
Yeah, I think in American culture, we're very results oriented.
We're very next step.
Like but we obviously have to look back and make sure that we're taking care of the person verbally in the words we're using.
But then also like, OK, what do we do now to solve the problem?
And instead of sitting in it, right?
Exactly. So very interesting.
It's all about culture, Aubrey.
I love it. Being aware of our culture and others cultures where we're working.
I mean, absolutely.
Yeah, today's phrases are so great for showing understanding.
You know, if someone's apologizing, if they're going through something, you know, these phrases all really downplay the issue.
So before using them, you do kind of want to think about what's the context, what's the issue?
Is it something that I do want to downplay to make someone feel better?
Yeah, and it's just really having that laser focus in this moment.
What do I need to do to connect?
Right. I always maintaining the relationships is the most important because if you don't have the relationships, you can't get things done.
OK, the results will come for the business once you have the relationships.
Yeah, absolutely. Very interesting today, Lindsay.
Interesting phrases, but tricky to think about culture, right?
You need to keep that in mind.
What what would this be like where you work?
Good stuff, Aubrey.
I'll see you in the next episode.
You have a good week.
You too. See you next time.
All right. Bye. Thank you for listening to Business English, a podcast just for you.
The high achieving global professional.
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