This is the Business English Podcast, Episode 30, Executive Coach Michael Miller on how to be happy.
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Life would be great. You know, I just have a permanent tan.
Right. And I'd be in sandals all the time.
So life would be good. More relaxed, right?
Just not so worried about the stresses of daily life.
All that stuff you let go when you're on vacation.
Yes. And all that pain in your neck, you know, sometimes we get so tense and we get, you know, our back can cramp up and all this stuff.
It would all be gone. Right. So true. It's interesting, people, when we talk about happiness, right, there are so many ideas about how to achieve happiness, right?
Getting in touch with yourself or others, maybe higher power, religion.
But these are all pretty abstract ideas as far as becoming happy.
So we have this really interesting guest on today, you guys.
I'm excited about this. His name is Michael Miller.
He's an author, an executive coach, a motivational speaker.
He lives in New York, so you're going to hear a little bit the New York accent here, but he's also lived in China.
He's traveled to over 30 countries, and he's an expert on happiness.
Right, Lindsay? I love that. I feel like this is the human experience, cracking the code on happiness.
How do we achieve this happiness, right?
It's so interesting how humans are so excited and always seeking this, right?
And it's so nice to have some more concrete actions that you can take to find happiness if a lot of that feels too abstract for you and you're not sure what to do.
So this is what's great about the tips that he's going to share with you today is that these are things that you can do each day in your life that are very clear and simple actions you can actually take today right after you're done listening to this podcast.
Yes, I love that. I love that. I'm so excited to get into Michael's tips here.
So what is he going to share first? Should we give our listeners a little preview here to the first tip?
Yeah, he first shares his belief that money doesn't buy happiness.
He feels strongly that if you seek happiness in other ways, money will come.
And I know there are a lot of people are of two minds about this, or there are some varying opinions about But he feels strongly about this.
And so let's dive in. He'll tell us a little bit about his company and what he means by this.
All right. Let's go ahead and hear it. Let's do it. the vacation never ends.
And I was telling you a little bit earlier, but that's basically because when I'm on vacation previously, I felt like a different person.
You know, I felt more present to life. I was more open to new things.
I was more open to talking to new people and just like happier overall.
And eventually I figured out that that was just like me being more conscious.
And so what I've done is actually like worked on becoming more conscious throughout my daily life and trying to get that same feeling.
Okay, so that's interesting. Lindsay, what does that mean to be more conscious?
Yeah. I think, does he mean being more present, kind of in the present moment, just really experiencing every aspect of life when you're in it?
Exactly, right? That word just means to be alive, to be breathing.
But when we talk about living consciously, like he is here, we're talking about taking control of our life.
Like you said, living in the present moment, making decisions rather than just, you know, not thinking before a decision and letting life sort of happening to you.
So kind of maybe also being intentional about the actions that we're taking.
I was just interviewing the other day a guy who is he is like an expert in writing bucket lists.
Oh, that's interesting. He calls himself the chief the chief crosser offer of bucket lists.
And this ties into that, right? Being conscious and being intentional about what you want to do in your life, the things you want to get done.
He wants to be on Saturday Night Live and announce, live from New York, it's Saturday Night Live.
He wants to say that. That's on his bucket list.
That's on his bucket list. So this idea of being conscious, being present, being intentional, it's so good.
Yes, deciding what you want out of life and then making that life instead of just settling for whatever happens to you, right?
Yeah. Yeah. Yes. So let's dive in and hear Michael's first tip.
This is really great, you guys. All right.
So the first one that I have is a nice, really hard one for most people.
And that's to actually practice being present by doing nothing, absolutely nothing for at least 10 minutes a day.
Okay. So this is an interesting tip to do nothing for 10 minutes each day.
Do you think that would be difficult, Lindsay?
I'd have a hard time with this. It is hard now for us nowadays, right?
As humans, we, especially now that we've had our, our smartphones for a bunch of years and we're used to that.
I think this might've been easier in like 1950, you know, without all the technology, but now it's really hard.
But I feel like that's what makes it even more necessary.
I love this tip because now that we have all those distractions, it's so easy.
Any two seconds free time we have to automatically check our phone, open our phone.
So we have to be really intentional to take that quiet time.
Right. Yeah. I mean, you know, this is where meditation can come in because meditation is really doing nothing.
I mean, exactly. You're really just sitting and following your breath or just just sitting there and kind of, yeah, literally doing nothing.
It's really interesting. I feel like a lot of happiness coaches would suggest, you know, go out and I don't know, you know. just be active, right?
But that's not always the way. Right, exactly.
So, okay, we're going to hear from Michael.
What does he do? What does that mean to do nothing?
You're exactly right. A lot of it is meditating, Lindsay.
But what does that mean? What does that mean to do nothing?
What are some examples of what you can do?
I do meditate. So that's one way. But one thing that I actually really love to do is to go outside and just be in nature and sit there and watch and listen and kind of be present in that way.
I find the two experiences to be very different and give me different things.
But yeah, a lot of times I'll just like going outside and, you know, you can even just go for a walk.
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Exclusions apply. See details online. Okay, Lindsay, just like you said, right?
He meditates. He goes outside to be in nature.
And I love that, to just be and breathe.
He was talking about how in New York City he would need to go to Central Park.
Because some big cities, it's harder to get into nature.
Yeah. Aubrey, what did you do when you lived in New York to get into nature?
How did you... unwind and kind of just be in that city?
I was so lucky. I lived right by Fort Tryon Park uptown.
So it was just like a block from my house.
And it's this giant park. A lot of people who visit New York don't know about it.
It's sort of a hidden gem, right? And you can see the Hudson from these really high walls.
Okay. And there are these old cloisters there you can visit.
It's this gorgeous giant park, not quite as big as Central Park, but it's big enough that you can really feel sequestered.
You can't hear the city. You can't hear the noise of the traffic.
And it's very, lots of trees, very lush flower gardens.
And you can definitely feel that you're in nature.
Oh, New York has a lot of places like that, surprisingly.
A lot of kind of hidden gems. And I just want to point out a really good bonus vocabulary word you used for our listeners today, sequestered.
What does that mean? Yeah, to be removed from something, to be separated in some way.
So when you're in that park, you're sequestered from the noise of the city.
We can talk about if someone wants to be totally alone, they'll say, oh, I'm going to sequester myself means you're going to just maybe go on a vacation, go somewhere far from everything else.
Right. Kind of like a personal retreat or something like that.
Right. Okay. I love it. Okay. So we're going to get into his second tip here, which I love.
I'm really excited about. I think you're going to like it, Lindsay.
Here we go. Okay. So for a long time, when I had my previous companies and even when I was working in the corporate world, I was so focused on work and making money and just driving and trying to grow my career.
I wasn't playing at all. I wasn't having any kind of fun.
And one thing that I find with a lot of adults is that we forget that there's still like a little kid inside that wants to go play. you know, dance, anything like that.
And so actually like letting that inner child out once a day will actually result to you being happier and actually allow your career to grow more and everything else.
All right. So he suggested playing, play once a day, making a list of things that you love to do as a kid.
He said to do 10 to 20 things and then just go through that list.
Lindsay, what would be on your list? What do you miss from when you were a kid?
I think for me, it was the being outside.
I grew up in like a semi-rural suburban area and we had a lot of woods around my house.
We used to go outside and like build tree houses, build forts.
It was that interaction with nature and outside the air with my friends.
So I would go outside and build forts. Yeah.
Definitely. Same for me. We would play so creatively.
Outside in this little wooded area, we would make mud pies and pretend they were hamburgers or sandwiches, have a little restaurant, but it was all like sticks and leaves and mud.
I love it. Yeah. We used to like kind of take like the bark off the tree and be like, it's chicken.
It's chicken. Have some chicken. It's delicious.
Eat it. Yeah. Yes. That's hilarious. I love that.
Where do you think we lose this drive to play as adults?
Like when do we lose it? Is it when we become awkward teenagers or, you know, when does that happen?
Yeah, we get less creative in our play for sure.
I think some of us do continue to play. You know me, I love games.
I'm always making people play with me. But it was interesting listening to Michael talk about how he, when he got really busy in the corporate world, he was like, He stopped taking that time to play because he just was so focused on being successful and growing his business that he wasn't taking time to do nothing, time to play.
And he wasn't happy. He was really losing that childlike enthusiasm, that happiness that we really need to have.
So wherever we lose it along the way, I really agree with this, that it's so vital to keep that love of playing alive.
Yeah, for sure. So for our listeners who are listening today, guys, make sure you go out and find the thing that brings out that inner child.
You know, we've talked about for us, it's being out in nature, running around, you know, doing make-believe stuff, right?
It was as we were kids, and maybe there's some version of that as adults, right?
But what is it for you? Is it movement? Is it, you know, hiking in nature?
What is it? It could be a lot of different things.
Yeah, dancing, drawing. It'll be different for each of us, right?
And it will look different from when we were children.
But something that makes us feel creative, makes us feel happy.
We should be doing it every day. Maybe it's cooking for some people.
Yes, for sure. Interesting. Okay, let's dive into his third tip here.
This is a good one that I hadn't thought about before.
Are you ready to hear it, Lindsay? Yeah, I can't wait.
All right, here we go. This is probably my favorite tool of anything that I use or have.
It's very simple. It's creating an integrity list.
Sounds interesting. So the way that I define integrity is having your thoughts, speaking, and actions all in alignment.
OK, so he gives the example when he's talking about an integrity list here.
He's talking about, for example, if someone wanted to start yoga and they talk about it all the time, they're telling everyone they're going to start yoga and then they never actually start it.
And how this could hurt us in multiple ways, right?
Yeah, he's calling us out here. It's true.
I mean, it's very easy to say you want to do something, but do you really want to do it?
Right. And how are those ways it could hurt us?
Yeah. So not only are we not accomplishing what we want to do, but then we also get down on ourselves.
We create this negative energy because we are having regret.
Yeah. And not only that, but friends and colleagues might realize you don't have that follow through and maybe not trust you to do what you say.
Right. Yeah, this is so important. And another bonus phrasal verb expression today, to have follow through.
It's actually a noun, right? You don't have follow through.
That is such a great combination of words and expression that our listeners might not know.
Yeah, and you will hear this in business English, right?
I can see this in an interview saying, I have a really good follow through.
That just means that when you say you're going to do something, you get it done.
You accomplish that task. Yeah, exactly.
This is so good. And I think the most important piece is the way we see ourselves.
If we do the thing or we don't, that's not the most important piece.
The important piece is our view of ourselves.
Are we someone that does what we say we're going to do?
Right? Exactly. We really need to take action on our thoughts and what we say.
If we're talking about doing something all the time, we need to take action on that.
It just can't always be talk. Yeah. Yes, I love it.
Don't be all talk, right? Right, exactly.
Okay, so lastly, Michael shares how doing these three things, these three tips have really affected his life.
So let's hear that. Oh, my shift has been extraordinarily dramatic.
So what's happened is I've become the happiest I've ever been.
Business is the best it's ever been. I like to say I've found inner peace.
I created a new amazing relationship. Wow.
Have a heck of a lot more fun. Okay, so first of all, I love that slang phrase, a heck of a lot.
I say that a lot. I have a heck of a lot more fun these days.
Yes, that's a great one. Another bonus for today.
Yes, seriously. And I can definitely see how these tips would work.
They worked for him. He's happier than he's ever been.
Business is thriving in spite of his focus not being solely on improving his business.
He's working on being happier and everything else is going better.
Yeah, that's kind of the irony of people who become successful in business.
They don't focus 24 hours a day on their work, right?
They build up their life with other things.
So then when it comes time to work, they're more inspired, they have more clarity, and they make better choices with their time.
Yeah. Such a good point, right? When you have that work-life balance, you're more effective at work, you're more creative because you're happier in all aspects of your life.
Yes, I love that. So good. So it's so good to hear and see that Michael's made that shift and it's really worked for him by implementing these tips.
Definitely. And we know it can work for you guys too.
If you're feeling maybe a lack of happiness, a lack of motivation, maybe it's time to reassess, you know, what are you doing during the day and try these, see if it helps to spend a little time doing nothing, to spend a little time each day playing, right?
You might be happier. And then definitely, I love this to line up your actions with what you say and think so that you feel successful.
You don't feel that frustration of saying you're going to do things you don't ever do.
So good. These are kind of tips that are sort of atypical of what you would see online.
If you Google like how to be happy, you wouldn't really find these tips.
These are kind of unique and interesting and clearly based on Michael's own experience.
Yes. Good point. So guys, if you want to know more about his executive coaching, we're going to have him share really quick where you can find him.
You can go to my life and executive coaching website, thevacationneverends.com, and if you use slash coaching there, then you can actually chat with me a little bit about coaching.
I do work with people all over the world, so I'm very open to that.
I also wrote a book called Four Weeks to Your And I help people to do that over on my website, cultureadapt.com.
Oh, man, Lindsay, I do feel like these tips can really help us find happiness.
Yes. What do you think? I love it. It's so good.
You know, this forces us to kind of go back and examine our lives.
Guys, you know, when it comes to language learning, we know that we're here to learn English, but we're here for so much more.
And we're not going to be able to learn to connect if we're not happy, right?
That's the key. You can know all the vocabulary words in the world, right?
But if you're not like content with yourself as you are in the world now, you're not going to use those to connect.
Right, Aubrey? Yes, that's so true. That's such a good point.
People will feel it, right? If you're forcing yourself and your heart's not in it, whoever you're trying to connect with is going to feel that and everything's going to be harder.
And you might not even be willing to put yourself out there in the first place.
So I love that, right? Be intentional, focus on yourself, make sure you're happy, and then these other things will fall into place.
I love it. So good. And guys, if you want to make sure you get more awesome episodes from All Ears English, hit follow on this podcast.
And I want to thank Michael for coming on the show and for giving us this great interview.
And we're so happy we could bring clips from Michael into this episode.
Good stuff, Aubrey. Awesome. So fun. I'll see you next time, Lindsay.
All right. Have a good one. Take care. Bye.
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