This is the Business English Podcast, Episode 231, Conflict at Work, How to Express It in English. welcome to the business english podcast from all ears english get the english skills you need to achieve your dreams in global business for a presentation a meeting or your office party this is real business english with your favorite american hosts lindsay and michelle coming to you from new york city and colorado usa Still translating in your head when you speak English?
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Hey there, Michelle. What's shaking? What's going on?
Hi, Lindsay. I am excited to be recording here today and everything is good.
Busy, busy. How are you? I'm feeling good.
I'm feeling good, busy, but I'm excited.
I've got a Spanish lesson tonight. It's going to be good, but actually I have a question for you, Michelle, to start off today.
Ah, okay. What's the question? All right.
Have you ever had a conflict with a coworker?
Ooh, tricky question. I don't think so, honestly.
Not something that stands out a whole lot.
Lucky. Have you ever had a conflict with, if you say roommate, then the answer is a resounding yes.
Even when you worked at the radio station or any of your internships in New York, did you have anything that came up?
I really loved, oh, oh, oh, oh, I thought of one.
Um, no, I thought, I thought of, um, I think I maybe shared this recently.
There was, um, when I worked for that startup company, my first job in New York, there was, uh, a guy who was my age and we, we didn't, it wasn't even just me.
He, he, he w he ended up being, I feel bad talking about it, but he, he was a little bit of a know-it-all and he had a lot of intense opinions and they ended up letting him go actually um because it was really more of a personality thing that he wasn't getting along with people at work so that was the one that was the one thing i would say i mean that and that is that's a problem i mean you could be really skilled really smart but if you don't have that social knowledge at work unfortunately that can take away from every everything so i'm sorry that that happened Yeah.
Social skills are part of a success of you can't just have these days.
You can't just have the skill and not be able to integrate with anyone else.
A hundred percent true. Yeah. So is this what we're getting into today in this episode?
We are. Well, It happens, guys. We hope that you're not having any conflict, but we want to give you ways to talk about it.
We're not trying to promote doom and gloom.
And the truth is, actually, sometimes conflict can be helpful.
It's just like how we talk about failure sometimes.
If you sometimes a conflict can bring about creativity, can get things to get to a next level.
Sometimes these difficult, uncomfortable situations can ultimately in the end be good.
Sometimes not. Sometimes they just make things fall apart.
But yeah. Yeah. Try to be positive. I think as a general rule, if you're going through your career or your life and not encountering conflict or encountering it and avoiding it, then something's wrong because conflict is part of growing, right?
Am I not growing? I had one. I don't know, Michelle.
That's a side conversation. I guess we could talk about it.
I don't know. But I think in general, like there's, there's, there's something that, yeah i mean at allers english we're lucky like we we have a good smooth sense of communication but there's always challenges and then maybe it's not interpersonal conflict but it's things we're trying to achieve and accomplish and that might bring up certain things within us that maybe we struggle with internally i don't know no but that's true i mean some of some of it when we when i think when people hear the word conflict it sounds like a very personal word.
But like you said, it can just be over something with business, just disagreeing about something.
It doesn't need to mean that things are being taken personal.
And that's important to also, I think it's an emotional skill of an emotionally intelligent person is to be able to know, to try not to take things personally when it comes to business and be able to take a step back.
Yeah. So as you said, Michelle, I mean, conflict can be good because it can bring about new ideas, new ways of doing things, new processes.
It can teach people how to finally work together.
Maybe you actually come to enjoy working with that person once you've gone through the conflict.
Kind of interesting also can make things interesting.
Make things interesting. Yeah. That's just we got to be respectful.
That's all. That's all it is, especially work when we have a conflict we have to know how to handle it we have to know how to talk about it and guys if you haven't already listen to two Sorry, episode 216 of this podcast, of the Business English podcast.
That was Let's Agree to Disagree. Okay, so I love that.
So guys, go back, check that out. Make sure you hit the follow button on Business English right here if you haven't done that yet.
Let's go into some phrases for our listeners to talk about conflict in the business world.
Shall we do it, Michelle? Okay, yes. So what's the first one, Lindsay?
Okay. All right, to bump or to butt heads?
So to bump, is that to bump heads? Is that what we're saying?
Or butt heads? Okay. So for example, the CEOs butt heads about the new project, but ultimately they were able to come to an agreement.
And it's interesting because is it the same?
We're talking in the past tense here, right?
But it sounds like it should be the present tense, but the past tense of butt is butt, to butt as a verb, to butt heads.
What does this mean? Like if you look at it, if you imagine what it is, just the heads coming together.
Oh, yeah, yeah, the heads, yeah, banging heads together.
Right, like two oxes or like bulls butting heads, right?
Yeah, yes, exactly, exactly. So you could say bump heads, you could say butt heads, whichever, bumper butt, whatever you want.
I love it. What would be the next one, Michelle?
This one is clash. So I like the word the sound of this word.
It's a very fun word to say clash. There's a lot to it.
So you could say something like we have clashed a few times about how the design should look.
But I think I actually think it helped us both improve.
Oh, you know what? I think I actually made a mistake with the past tense of but.
It looks like, Michelle, the past tense of but is butted.
We've butted heads. We are not perfect. Connection, not perfection here, guys.
It's not something we use very often in the past tense.
Maybe we'll go into that another day. Some weird irregulars.
I guess it's not irregular, but some weird.
Oh, wait. Yeah. This is my mistake because I yeah, I am my example.
It should be the CEO. It should be butted heads.
We try to correct ourselves, guys, when we can.
And hopefully that gives you a good example to show you that it's it's OK to correct yourself.
It's OK to make a mistake. Come back, but seek connection.
Right. Come back to the connection. Good catch, Lindsay.
Good catch. good okay so clash yep yes and then we have uh did i read the examples already yeah we have clashed a few times about how the design should look but i actually think it helped us both improve i love that word clash we clashed clash right um and what's the next one dispute so this feels a little more formal to me it could be a noun it could be a verb there was a dispute about the way the client should be billed but they figured it out okay yes abercrombie's viral denim sale is back and spotify listeners get an extra 15 off with code spotify af abercrombie is known for their denim with 30 to 50 off all jeans find out how denim should feel shop the viral denim sale in the abercrombie app online or in stores valid in stores and online through august 11 2025 in new western canada excludes clearance price reflects discount Code valid in US and Canada through August 11th, 2025.
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So let's, we've given our listeners two or three examples of really interesting kind of clash vocabulary, imagining two people up against each other in a way, right?
Right. Do we have any advice, any more advice on approaching conflict?
I thought we should just talk about it at work.
I mean, how do you approach conflict? So Lindsay, one thing is, is we touched on this a little bit already is to look at it as a learning opportunity to try and see the other person's point of view to see their side because you might actually learn something maybe you think oh no this is how it should be done and this is my idea and you're really stuck in your ways right and you have a clash with a co-worker about it because they think it should be done another way and if you take a step back you might actually learn something maybe their idea is better and it's possible right Right.
And I wouldn't even call this conflict. You want this on your team.
You want team members pushing back on your ideas and challenging and saying, oh, what about this?
Yeah, I think this that's what you want.
Right. That's good. And I would also say empathy is the key.
And what is part of empathy in my mind when we're working in a global workplace is cultural differences.
Yeah. So as you're thinking and taking the other person's side, I wonder from a cultural perspective how they may be viewing this different from differently than I am.
That's something I want our listeners to think about for sure.
Very interesting. Right. Yeah. I mean, and the other thing is if it really is a conflict, you have to consider if you need some sort of mediator or some sort of third party involvement.
If you need to go to HR, this is for more serious things, of course.
Yeah, for sure. For sure. And there's an entire... profession i mean conflict conflict resolution in politics and world in geopolitical spaces there are people that specialize in that conflict resolution that's interesting to look into as a field in itself yes definitely yes actually that does sound like a very interesting field for sure for sure yeah i wonder what that's like as a facilitator of these geopolitical conflicts being in the room wow incredible yeah yeah definitely and then the thing that i feel helps me the most is to assume the other person's best intentions or to assume just to to to try and believe that no one is trying to be difficult no one is trying to fight and if you Maybe it's not always true, but if you go in and you believe that, and I truly believe that if you have this feeling that people are good, that you'll be able to approach things in a better way because you won't take everything so personally and you'll be able to remove yourself a little bit from it.
What do you think? Oh, totally. I think that's such an important piece.
Going through life in the world, just assuming, giving people the benefit of the doubt, assuming everyone is good and they're just trying to They're just trying to argue from their own perspective, like this is how they see it.
Right. And it's never black and white. It's just not.
Yeah. Yeah. So listening, assuming the best.
I like that advice for our listeners. Yeah.
Yes, exactly. Exactly. All right. So should we do a role play?
Yeah, let's do it. So here we are supervisors and we're talking about an issue that we had in the past.
Is that right? Yeah. Yes, exactly. Okay, here we go.
I know we clashed earlier about the project.
I think we have a lot to learn here. I know.
We definitely butted heads. Why don't we look at everything again and try to come up with an idea based off both of our opinions?
Yeah, we can use this dispute to make things better.
Nice. And that's really... the next level of conflict right how can we take what's just happened now we know each other better we work better we communicate better it's actually good in the end in some ways right right yeah definitely um so let's go through this and see what we said all right so you said I know we clashed earlier about the project I think we have a lot to learn here Right.
And then we corrected our past tense there.
I know we butted heads. Right. But you could also say that in the present.
I know we sometimes butt heads. Right. Right.
Sure. Sure. And then and then what, Michelle?
I said. And then you said, yes, we can use this dispute to make things better.
Love it. So good. Guys, make sure you hit the follow button.
And we're going to we're going to talk now about the takeaway for today.
Where should we leave our listeners at the end of this episode today?
Yeah, I think we need to change our viewpoint on conflict.
I think that word kind of makes everybody cringe or get a little scared.
You hear that it's like, oh, no. But I think if you approach it in the right way with an open mind, with an open heart and realizing that you can actually learn from it, that you won't be so afraid of it.
And I think it's a muscle, right? So the more and the more that you encounter it and start to learn how to put it into more objective terms, obviously, but still with the personal feeling to it, but not taking it personally, there's a difference.
There's empathy that you're bringing to the situation, but you do keep it as kind of a, especially at work, it's just a work experience. issue you're looking a disagreement that you need to resolve you need to figure it out then it becomes a muscle you get better and better and you don't automatically go to personal every time something comes up it's like a muscle we train it right yeah definitely i i think it is helpful when you can try and learn how to not take things so personally i think uh i think i've gotten better about that over the years um yeah yeah yeah i think that um It's important, and I like that idea of it being a muscle.
So, yeah, good stuff. Yeah. Guys, take this back into your work lives for Business English, and let us know if you have any questions.
Send in your question to lindsayatalliersenglish.com, and we will love to answer your question right here on the show.
Hit the follow button, and Michelle will be back here very soon on this show.
All right? All right. All right, Lindsay.
Bye, guys. Talk soon. Bye. Thank you. Tap the link in the show notes.
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