Are Your Routines Actually Routine? A Reality Check on Time Management

In the latest episode of Before Breakfast, host Laura Vandercam challenges listeners to move past the idealized versions of their daily lives and confront a simple, yet uncomfortable question: Are your routines actually routine?

The Disconnect Between Perception and Reality

Many people struggle with time management because they construct "whole narratives" about their lives based on habits that simply do not exist in practice. Laura notes that when she asks people about their "beautiful routines," they often claim these activities happen daily. However, "a little time tracking" often reveals a starkly different story.

This phenomenon works in two directions:

• The Over-estimation Gap: You may believe you exercise every "Monday, Wednesday, and Friday," yet the reality is that the last time you followed through was weeks ago. Similarly, you might claim to perform a complex Sunday meal prep routine, but it only occurs when you have no other plans—which is rarely the case.
• The Under-estimation Gap: Conversely, people often build a "woe-is-me narrative" about their lives. For example, someone might insist they spend every Saturday doing chores, when a time log proves they actually spend significant time with friends. By failing to track their time, they ignore the positive reality of their lives.

Why Routines Fail: Analyzing the Data

If you discover that your routines are not actually routine, Laura emphasizes that this is not a "gotcha moment." Instead, it is "simply interesting data" about your priorities and interests. She suggests three primary reasons why a routine might be failing:

1. Lack of Genuine Interest

You may be performing tasks because you feel you should. If you try to force a Sunday meal planning routine simply because you think "other people" do it, but your family is happy with simple meals, you are fighting a losing battle. In this case, the best advice is to "let this routine go."

2. Misalignment with Priorities

Sometimes a routine is technically possible but conflicts with your core values. For instance, if you try to multitask by unloading the dishwasher while your kids eat breakfast, but your "top priority is being present and connected with your kids," the routine will inevitably fail. Rather than judging yourself, Laura suggests finding a different time for the chores, acknowledging that prioritizing human connection is not a problem.

3. Over-ambition

Often, the routine is just "too ambitious." You may be trying to cram more into a specific window of time than is physically possible. The solution here is to "pare down your routine to what is most important." For example, if you cannot manage a full three-page journal entry in the morning, writing just one paragraph is a more "sustainable" habit.

Conclusion: Changing the Story

Ultimately, the goal is not to become a slave to a rigid schedule, but to make "rational choices about life." Whether that means simplifying your expectations, letting go of tasks you don't care about, or simply "changing your story" to reflect the truth of your daily actions, the key is awareness. By acknowledging that some things don't deserve to be routine, you can stop the cycle of guilt and start making the most of your time with a clearer, more honest perspective.