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Hello, welcome to or welcome back to China to Care.
It's a couple days after the election.
It's the Friday before you listen to this episode when it drops.
And I had given myself a couple days off from work and from the podcast to just mourn and grieve and feel everything that I've been feeling.
Just allow myself to be angry and upset and feel everything.
And I thought I gave myself enough time, but as I'm sitting down here, I've cried like three different times.
Luckily, the last recording of me like literally sobbing for whatever reason, it didn't pick up on the microphone.
So I had to rerecord this.
So I'm a lot more composed now.
But this week has just been really, really hard for me.
And it was difficult for me to pinpoint why this feeling that I've been feeling like the anger that I've been feeling, the disgust I've been feeling, the heartbreak I've been feeling is so different than anything I felt in the past.
You know, I've I've been depressed and I've gone through heartbreak and I've gone through hard times.
But this just felt like I genuinely feel like I got the wind knocked out of me.
And I'm not going to get too into that today.
It just feels wrong.
And it's such a loss for women and for other marginalized communities and for our education system and our democracy and just everything.
Such a huge loss. And I know that there's some people that aren't going to agree with me and they're not going to like hearing me say that, you know, I've already lost so many followers on social media for speaking my mind because a bitch loves to speak her mind.
But if you're struggling this week, if you feel the way that I do, if you feel angrier or even more disgusted than I feel like you're valid and I just want you to know that it's OK to be upset, it's OK to feel betrayed, it's OK to feel uncomfortable with some of the people in her life because I'm definitely
feeling that way right now.
And I just hope that you're taking care of yourself and I hope that today's episode is a way for you to feel understood and a way for you to escape all of that and just have some time talking to me.
I do want to say I'm looking at my notes for today's episode that I wrote like a week or two before and I had written down, open up the episode with talking about merch and Kamala winning the election because I was so confident in that.
But when it comes to merch, I as I'm recording this right now, I don't know what I'm doing because surprise, I was supposed to be coming out with merch, dropping it on the 15th.
And I don't know if that's happening now because when I had designed my merch, I had decided to do red, red with white font.
If you know where this this is going, I had originally wanted to do that because Christmas.
I wanted this to be a holiday drop and also I look hot and red.
Like if you heard me talking about me dressing as my Venus side, Aries Venus wear red a lot and I look good in red and I was like, oh, I want to wear red.
Not thinking anything about the election.
And I know this sounds so dramatic and crazy.
It's like it's the color red.
Like why are you crashing out over the color red?
I've seen so many people, so many women in particular, are talking about how they don't feel comfortable wearing the color red right now.
And it's very triggering to them and whether I feel that way, like I don't know if I necessarily am triggered by it.
I don't want to make anyone feel uncomfortable and I don't want anyone who has been waiting to buy my merch to feel like they can't buy it right now because they don't feel comfortable wearing that.
So I'm in the process of trying to figure out if we can change the color or if we could release more than one color.
I don't know, but it's just like very unfortunate and I'm like, damn it.
Like, I don't know, but I was really, really proud of this merch.
So I don't know. We will see.
I'll keep you updated.
But I did ask on Instagram and it seems as though the majority of you are like, please do not come out with that red merch.
Please don't. So we shall see.
We'll see what my team says.
But with everything that has been going on this past week, the week before, even like the past month, there's a lot of people who feel uncomfortable with the idea of continuing friendships and relationships with people who have very different political beliefs than them.
And I say political very loosely because we're not like debating about buying a house or the economy.
It's more of people feeling uncomfortable that their friends and family are supporting someone who doesn't support them.
And again, I know there's some people that are like, you know, I don't like to discuss politics with people in my life because everyone's entitled to their own opinion.
But I'm also very much in the group of people who doesn't agree with that kind of mindset.
I think politics and policies are very, very different than human rights.
And I think that we can disagree about the economy and prices of like groceries and wanting to buy a house.
And then like we can't disagree on essay and racism and homophobia and things like that.
I'm someone who has had a really hard time wrapping my head around like how can someone that I'm so intertwined with vote against not only my rights, but like other people in their lives' rights too and like their own rights.
And I've tried to make sense of it and justify in some way.
And maybe some of you can, maybe some of you can justify it and it doesn't bother you.
But I know a lot of you can't.
And it's hard to know what to do in that kind of situation.
Politics aside, I feel like a lot of us find ourselves in the same sort of predicament where we want someone in our lives to show us that they care about us or we want them to behave in a way that aligns more with us or maybe we just want them to give us the same energy that we're giving to them.
And when they don't, it's this very confusing and conflicting thing because you want to fight for that person and make it work and have that person in your life.
But then on the other hand, you're exhausted because you're overworking yourself and trying so hard to make this person be who you want them to be or treat you the way that you want to be treated and they're just not like you want them to have the same moral beliefs as you and they don't.
It's like you're trying to convince them to be that person and they're just not that and it's really draining.
And I've definitely been this person.
I still am this person, I think.
I feel like that's fair to say.
But something that I've learned is that you can't think your way into making someone the person you want them to be and you can't control the people in your life.
So if they're acting in a way that you disagree with or they continue to hurt you and disrespect you, you don't need to try and understand why they are the way they are and you don't need to resolve it.
The answer to your question about someone and why they are the way they are and why they treat you the way they treat you is in their actions.
So that's what I want to talk about today.
Not so much about politics, just stop trying to figure out how someone feels about you or why they're treating you the way they are.
Look at their actions.
The answer to your question about someone is in their actions.
This show is sponsored by Equip.
Thanksgiving's literally in a couple of weeks and it's one of my favorite holidays because I get to go to my parents house and eat a lot of good food and then I go Black Friday shopping and then after that's Christmas.
So I just love it. But I have struggled in the past around Thanksgiving and around holidays that are very food heavy and involve eating a lot of food because I have struggled with an eating disorder.
I've spoken about it before on this podcast and on my social media with the holidays right around the corner.
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This show is sponsored by Gatorade.
Besties, it's finally fall.
Fall is without a doubt my favorite season, especially because I live in Connecticut and it's just so beautiful here.
Like hot girl walks are 10 times better here because the leaves are changing and the weather is just incredible.
Another thing that makes my hot girl walks even more amazing is the Gatorade hydration booster.
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It's much harder for me to stay focused and be productive or even just have a good time when I'm dehydrated, which is why I love Gatorade hydration booster because it gives me all day hydration and just makes my day so much more enjoyable.
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Now let's get back to today's episode.
I spend a lot of time on shadow work.
Like I've spent a good amount of time over the past couple of years trying to get to the root cause of why I am the way I am and why I struggle in some parts of my life.
One thing being like in friendships in the past, I've been very mistrusting in friendships and kind of feeling like the odd one out and like my friends don't like me.
And it took me some time to try to unpack that and be like, why am I this way?
Like who hurt you? Like literally who hurt you?
And I could be wrong, but I think a big reason I feel this way is because I've always had an easy time making friends.
But the thing that I struggled with in the past was that I would make these friends and still feel left out.
Like I would still be left wondering if I'm your friend, why am I being treated as if I'm not and why am I being pushed to the side while other friends are being uplifted, you know what I mean?
And I think when people are straightforward with why they don't like you or why they don't want to be your friend, it obviously sucks because it never feels good to know people don't like you.
But it's another type of pain and confusion that happens when you are friends with somebody or maybe not even friends with somebody.
Maybe you're hooking up with somebody and they seem to like you and want to be part of your life, but not all the way.
And they don't want to give you what you want.
I've experienced this a lot in my life where I've had friends, but I didn't get treated the way that I expected to.
Like I made it into the friend group, but I didn't have the same privileges as other people in the friend group.
Like only some friends were invited to that party or to that person's house or we're in that group chat.
And it's just very uncomfortable and isolating because when you do complain about how you're being treated and you express like this hurt my feelings, you're met with, well, we're friends.
Like, what more do you want?
As if asking to be included and invited to things is asking for too much.
And it's just so confusing because it's like, why am I good enough to be your friend, but I'm not good enough to be treated like one.
The same thing with situationships.
Like a guy would be texting me and making plans with me and telling me what I want to hear, but then their actions wouldn't line up with it.
Like they wouldn't speak to me in the hallways at school and they would continue hooking up with other people and they didn't want to put a label on it.
And then when you ask for more or you question why they're acting the way they are, they're like, why do you want more?
Like why isn't this enough?
Why are you complaining?
And it drives you insane because they're downplaying how you're being treated and you just kind of have to sit with your thoughts of wondering, like, are you ever going to treat me the way that I want?
Like, do you even feel the way that I feel about you?
Like, am I wasting my time and I'm, am I making a fool out of myself?
And you know, there's times where people do come around and they realize they haven't been the best to you and it's like a light switch that was flipped.
And they're like, oh, I have kind of been an asshole.
Like you deserve more and let me give you that.
But most of the time that doesn't happen because who that person is and what they believe is being laid out right in front of you.
So many of us look for the best in other people and give them the benefit of doubt because we've known them for so long or we think we know them at their core and they're a good person and we disregard their bad behavior and their actions and the lack of consistency when it comes to their words and actions.
But if we look at the facts and what's being put right in front of us and we just put our feelings aside for a second, we'd realize that people are telling us exactly who they are with every interaction we have with them.
The way people act and their behavior is a direct correlation with who they are and what they believe and what their priorities are.
Their words are also an indicator of that as well, but not only words, but how their words and their actions come together.
It's not enough for someone to say, I love you.
You're the best thing that's ever happened to me.
If their actions don't align with that, if you look at a person's behavior and there's no evidence that supports that they love you, they probably don't.
It's not enough for someone to say that they're a good person.
If you look at their behavior and there's not evidence to back up that claim, they aren't.
But let's say that this guy you're talking to says, I've cheated in every relationship, like I feel so bad because I just, I have, I had a cheating problem, but I'm better now.
I had a really bad cheating problem.
Better now though would never do that to you.
Believe what he is saying about his past because what he's saying and what he's done align, there's evidence to back up that he has cheated and he's going to continue to cheat.
There's no evidence to prove that he's not going to.
He could say, I'm never going to do that again.
Well, looking at your past, it looks like you're going to partner.
If a friend says to you that when they get out of a friendship, they become crazy and mean and they bully that person, believe them because what they're saying and what they've done in the past align.
In those instances, believe someone when they tell you who they are.
If they are telling you I have been controlling, I have been unreliable, I've hurt every girl I've dated don't take those words and think, Oh, well, I'm different, they're going to treat me better because I'm different.
No, take those words and believe that is who they are as a person.
And that is how they're going to treat you.
They're telling you who they are.
Words alone are not enough.
Their actions need to align.
If your friend is telling you that you matter to them and your feelings matter to them, and then you're telling them like, well, it hurt my feelings when you didn't invite me to things and then time after time they continue to not invite you to things and you're constantly being left out.
Do you believe more that they care about your feelings or don't care about them?
If you were to use their actions as evidence for if they do care about you or if they don't care about you, which would they support more?
Probably the fact that they don't care about you because they're disregarding how you feel.
They're taking into consideration how you feel and they're ignoring it.
They know how you feel and they're ignoring it.
Stop over analyzing it and trying to understand how they feel or what they mean, like if your friend knows how badly your ex -boyfriend has hurt you and you're confiding in them, telling them that, and they're like, Oh yeah, he sucks.
You deserve better.
But then you see them liking his photo.
Don't try to understand why that person's doing what they're doing.
They're showing you how they actually feel.
And I think a lot of people forget that, yes, obviously humans are very complex, but like, we're also kind of easy to understand when you just realize that we act in line with our priorities.
Like most people who have children and are happy that they have children, make their children their main priority.
So they're going to base their day and their lives around providing for them and being there for them.
People who live on their own and have to pay bills have a job because being able to afford life and have a roof over their head is their priority.
People who want to take care of themselves and are really health conscious make that a priority and they go to the gym and they buy healthy groceries and they make it work.
Think about your priorities.
Think about what a priority is in your life.
And are you focused on that?
Are you devoting a lot of your time to that?
It's the same thing in friendships and relationships.
If someone sees you as a priority, they're going to nurture that relationship and they're going to put time into it.
And the opposite of that is true too.
So if someone doesn't prioritize you, they're not going to show up for you in the way that you're showing up for them.
They might be in your top five, but you might not even be in their top 10.
So if you're blowing up your friend's phone and not getting a response and you're wondering, like, why do they never text me back?
Like I've even brought it to their attention and they still don't text me back and like, when I'm with them, they're always texting other people, but they're never texting me.
It's because you're not a priority of theirs.
You might be a friend of theirs, but you're not in their top five.
If you're dating someone and they're flaking on you and they're breaking plans and they're not following through on dates you're supposed to go on, it's because you're not a priority to them or you're not high up on that list of priorities to them.
Like if you're asking yourself, why do they always bail on me for their guy friends, it's because their guy friends are a top priority for them.
And before you get really upset with me and offended for saying that, that could very well be true.
You could very well not be a priority for them.
And you could take that personal and be like, what the fuck?
Like I should be, what the fuck.
It might not be that.
And it might just be, they're not in a position to prioritize you.
There were guys before Josh who were interested in me and were interested in taking me out on dates and stuff.
And they definitely would have treated me better than my ex -boyfriends.
Like the bar was so low, but there was nothing wrong with those guys.
You know, they were, they weren't undeserving of my time or attention.
They didn't do anything wrong.
It's just at that time in my life, when they were trying to pursue me, they weren't a priority to me.
I didn't want to date them.
I didn't want to see them.
I was, I was having the time of my life.
I was partying and going out with my girls and I was just having a fun time and being a young 20 something.
And I just was not interested in dating them.
That doesn't mean that they're not deserving of that.
That doesn't mean that they're lacking anything.
It just means like I'm not in the position to do that right now.
This show is sponsored by Pilot Pen.
This past week definitely has been really difficult for me.
And I'm sure a lot of you like Tuesday and Wednesday, I was struggling really hard mentally.
And naturally I wanted to be on my phone and look through the news and get updates.
But it was giving me a lot of anxiety and it's taken me some time to realize that doing that isn't the best thing that you could do for yourself.
Like when you're feeling anxious, the last thing that you want to do is give more attention to the thing that's making you anxious.
And when I'm feeling anxious or I'm upset, I found that taking action is what works best for me.
And it relieves a lot of that sadness or anxiety because I'm moving through it and I'm doing something that's more productive, like going to the gym or playing a video game.
Or one of my favorite things to do is journal.
Sometimes journaling can be a little intimidating and sometimes seem even a little bit boring, but something that motivates me to sit down and write in my journal is having really good pens.
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I really like to write out my affirmations in pink, and not only does this calm me down, but it also encourages me to believe exactly what I'm saying.
I feel like it holds more value when I write out my affirmations and I write like, it's going to be a good week and everything's going to be okay.
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Now let's get back to today's episode.
There's also been times where I might have not been the best friend to someone and someone's asked me like, why aren't you showing up for me in the way that I want you to?
But I was going through something and I was struggling with my own mental health and it's not an excuse to treat someone badly by any means.
I'm only bringing this to your attention because sometimes it's not personal.
It's not because the person wants to treat you badly or that they believe that you're not worthy of love.
It's not because they want to ignore your text or make you feel bad about yourself.
They don't want to intentionally leave you out.
It's just like they have other things going on and their main focus isn't you or your friendship or your relationship.
And it sucks to hear that because clearly you have the time for them and you want to make them a priority.
But that's why would people show you how they feel about you and what they want from you and what they want your relationship to be like with them, whether it's good or bad, you need to be real with yourself and be like, do I want that?
Like they're showing me that if we are going to be friends, it's going to be a shitty friendship.
Do I want that? This guy's showing me that he doesn't want a relationship and he just wants to fuck around.
Do I want that? Do I want a friend that I can't trust?
Do I want a friend who doesn't show up for me?
Do I want a friend who makes me question if we're even friends?
Do I want to date someone who doesn't have the same political or religious beliefs that I do?
Do I want a partner who is controlling and not emotionally available?
You might be able to look at those things and be like, you know what, yeah, yeah, I do still want to be with them.
But if that's the case, you can't keep asking yourself why they are the way they are.
You're seeing them for who they are and you have the choice to either accept it or reject it.
And if you're not rejecting it, there's your answer.
If you're not changing it, you're choosing it, which leads me to introduce you to the let them theory.
And that is a theory by Mel Robbins and she has a podcast too.
I definitely recommend it, but I also definitely recommend that you wait until this episode is over.
Okay, please. And the theory is basically allowing others to be exactly who they are and not trying to step in and change it or change their minds and then choosing what you do with the behavior you're seeing.
Let's say that your friend didn't invite you to a girl's night instead of blowing up their phone and ask them like, why don't you invite me?
Are we not friends?
And like trying to convince them to invite you, let them act that way, let them act the way they would without you interfering without you questioning them and reaching out to them.
See if they reached out to you and say like, Oh my God, like I'm so sorry.
I forgot to invite you.
Please hang out with me.
If you didn't try to interfere with they got out of their way and want you there themselves, let them show you who they are instead of trying to change them and mold them into this person or this friend that you want them to be.
Let them be a bad friend to you.
Let them hurt your feelings.
You don't have control over how people treat you, but you have control over how you react.
You have the choice to stay in that friendship and let your friend make you feel terrible or walk away.
And you know, you might feel terrible at first because you just broke up with your friend, but eventually you're going to feel better because you're not going to be surrounded by people who make you feel lonely.
You might be alone, but you won't feel lonely.
We spend so much of our time trying to correct others' behavior because we want them to fit correctly into our lives.
Like we don't want to be friends with bad people and we don't want people to think badly of our significant other.
And when those people do offensive things or things that we don't entirely agree with, we want to try to fix it and change their minds and change that behavior rather than walking away, even though if we were to see some stranger doing what our friend or our family member or our boyfriend's doing, we
would stay away from them because we're like, Oh, I don't agree with that.
That's fucking weird.
But it's not as easy to walk away from the people in our lives.
You know, when it comes to this election, I was broken to see people that I love and respect not only vote for Trump, but publicly celebrate him being elected and reposting just very disgusting insensitive videos and things that validate many of the things that Trump has said and done.
And I don't know if I've talked about this on here.
If I did, I was very brief and I, it probably when I first started this podcast and no one was really listening.
But when I was younger, also trigger warning really quick, when I was younger, I was sexually assaulted and it's complicated and it's heavy and it's something that I carry with me every single day.
And you know, people can say, don't let politics come between you and your friends and your family members.
Like it's just politics, but it's like, no, this is personal.
You know, not everyone in my life knows what I've gone through, but would that make a difference?
Would that make a difference knowing what I've gone through?
Why does it make a difference that someone you personally know has been affected by this?
Why does that matter?
You know, there's so many women and so not even women, just survivors in general, men and women who have been sexually assaulted.
And seeing this outcome of the election, like that doesn't bother you.
It doesn't bother you voting for someone who has not only been accused of it, but charged with it.
That's not a deal breaker.
I can only speak for myself as an essay survivor, but I know so many other people feel this way that it's like, not only do we get ridiculed and told that we're lying and many of us don't come forward about it because we get accused of lying and nothing even really comes of it when you do come out and tell
the truth. So to see people in your life vote for a man who not only has allegations, but has been charged with it, it's like incomprehensible.
Like how could you like literally telling people it's okay to do that to people?
Like this is okay behavior.
Not only will you not go to jail if you do this, but you have the opportunity to become the president of the United States.
Instead of looking at that as one of the most inhumane things that you could do to someone, one of the most violating things that you could do to someone, you're going to put someone like that on a pedestal and you're going to have a cult of people cheering for him and rooting for him.
Regardless of what he does, he could do no wrong.
Like that is personal.
It is personal to have people in your life support that, and I wish I could change those people's minds.
I wish that I could send them a few videos debunking their support for them and why they're wrong and why it's so harmful to support someone like that.
But even doing that doesn't mean you're going to change their mind.
It doesn't mean they're going to change their beliefs or their priorities.
And I'm going to be honest.
I think if I did try to do that and they still didn't change their mind, it would hurt even more because not only is it personal, but it's a choice.
I don't ever want to say that things are a waste of your time because I don't think anything's a waste of time.
I think you always learn something.
I don't want to say that trying to make people in your life care or be a better person isn't worth it because I think that education is powerful.
But I do think it's exhausting.
And I think if you have to try to change someone into being someone you want them to be, they're probably just not the person for you.
There's way too many people out there that can give you what you want and you don't have to give the relationship or relationship.
You don't have to continue those connections just because you've been friends for so long or you've dated for so long or your family members.
There's people out there that you won't have to convince to respect you or love you or support you.
There's not one person in my life that had to convince me to give a shit about them or other people.
I just do. and there's other people that are like that too.
That you don't need to convince to care about people or to care about you.
There's people who are going to listen to you and you won't have to beg them to try to understand you.
There's people who are going to be excited to hang out with you and you're gonna be at the top of their list of people to invite and you're not gonna have to beg them for their time.
There's people who are going to be proud of you and they're gonna be excited to show you off as their partner and you won't have to beg for them to push you on Instagram or to tell their friends about you and it might not be easy all the time but it won't be fucking god -awful all the time.
And there's people who are gonna stand up for you and not talk badly about you and you won't have to question why someone who you think so highly of speaks so ill of you.
I just gave myself a quick five -minute little break to collect my thoughts.
I have no problem with being emotional at all.
Hi hello how are you?
Welcome to my podcast.
I am quite the emotional.
I'm an Aries son cancerizing Pisces mood.
Welcome. Nice to meet you.
I care too much. I have no problem expressing my emotions and crying.
I cry online all the time but I felt like I was having a little bit of difficulty saying what I wanted to say because I was getting emotional so we're back and I don't know where I was but I do want to say that a lot of the time we feel out of control when things are going the opposite of how we want
them to like we start crashing out when people aren't texting us back or when we see her ex -friend hanging out with our other ex -friend and we're like damn like you two are really close cuz you hate my guts wow that sucks or we see our ex -boyfriend hanging out with a new girl or we're not invited to
plans or we see people talking badly about us and we just like want to interfere we want to fix the problem and when we can't we feel very powerless but I think that's why allowing people to show you their true colors and then giving yourself the choice to react is control like you don't have to wait
for someone to decide to end the friendship or end the relationship you don't have to wait around for someone to be the person you want them to be you don't have to wait around for them to do what they want to while ignoring what you want when you do that you're giving them control you're taking a step
back and being like I'll wait for you like it's okay this sucks for me right now but like I'll be here that's giving them control so I think giving yourself the decision to stay or to leave is the control you're looking for that is the power you're looking for it might not be what you want you might not end
up with the relationship that you want or you might not get to keep your friend even though you really want to but you're still left with a choice you're left with choosing yourself you're left with choosing your boundaries and respecting yourself and that is power even though it hurts a little bit
not letting people walk all over you and showing them like you can't treat me like that is power it's powerful to put yourself first and take care of yourself especially when every fiber of you wants to fight for that other person when every fiber of you wants to put your guard down and just let them
be shitty to you because that means you get to continue being in their life it is so powerful to allow yourself to hurt in order to heal I know a lot of you listening are very in tune with your emotions and you're very empathetic and you care a lot about other people you like to put people before yourself
sometimes you just need to realize that not everyone is like you not everyone thinks that way not everyone is super considerate of other people and they're not over analyzing what everyone else is doing all the time they're not thinking about other people all the time so when they do things and they
say things I know you want to sit there and overthink it and be like oh they're doing this because of me it's so personal they didn't even think about me and it's like yeah you're right they didn't think about you and although that hurts that they're not thinking about you it's also kind of freeing
knowing it's like okay it's not personal they're not thinking about me they're literally just thinking about themselves and it sucks but that's the truth it's not because you're not deserving of good love and respect and loyalty and all of these things it's not because you're a bad person it's not because people
hate you it's just because they're not thinking of you they're acting based off their priorities and how they're feeling in the moment and it's not about you with that being said in learning that everything isn't always super personal and it's not always about me and that I don't always have to think
so deeply into it and worry about why they did this or what why they're saying this or what they're thinking I've just learned that let it be and don't try to over complicate it or overcompensate for it I've spent so much of my time trying to change people's minds or trying to make people like me more
treat me better if I felt like someone was slipping away and was distancing themselves and not wanting to talk to me over text I would blow up their phone and be like do you want to go get lunch oh my god I bought you a coffee oh my god I was thinking about you today and trying to get on their good
side and overcompensate and make them like me and it's like if someone likes you they like you and they're gonna show it in the way that they want to show it and if they're not showing it and they're not making you feel good there's your answer they don't like you not in the way that you want them to
like you if someone wants to they will and if they don't they don't and you can try and try and try to make them treat you the way that you want them to treat you or make them act the way you want them to act but you don't have to do that you don't have to resolve the issue or make things better sometimes
you just got to give the same energy back if someone is not reaching out to you don't reach out to them if the friendship is dependent on you reaching out to them and you inviting them to go to things and you calling them up if you stop doing that and there is no friendship then there is no friendship
there's your answer if things only work out when you're trying to resolve it and make the peace and make things better stop trying to resolve it they clearly don't care they clearly don't want to resolve it you're not in charge of making someone be better if they're not the person that you want them
to be that is your sign they're not your person they're not meant to be in your life at this time at least if they're not giving you what you want go find what you want don't settle just because they've been your friend for so long or even dating for so long or their family member stop minimizing what you
want and what you expect in your boundaries to accommodate them because they're not doing that for you they don't care about any of that for you so why are you still trying to make it work if they're not trying to make it work if they're not worried about how you feel there's your answer see people
for who they are in the way that they treat you the way that they speak to you and they're just actions in general the answer to your question about whether or not someone is a good person or a good friend or a good partner or meant to be in your life is in their actions that is where I'm going to end
today's episode I am exhausted because of that little cry had let out but honestly was so needed it was so needed and I just want to say thank you to anyone who sat through today's episode I know that people get really uncomfortable when people are emotional which I get like that's your thing so thank
you if you sat through today's episode it was a difficult one for me to record but it also felt like a release and I feel really good talking about everything that we talked about today I hope that you all take care of yourself especially after this week and just protect your piece spend time around
people that you really love and really trust and go and do something that makes you feel good take care of yourself have a self -care night just take it easy take it easy okay but if you're not following me on social media make sure to follow my Instagram my TikTok my YouTube all of that in the show
notes I will keep you updated on online whether or not I'm coming out with merch I need to figure that out I hope that we can make it work whether that's changing the colors or pushing back the launch or something I don't know we will figure it out I'll keep you updated on there so make sure to follow
my socials thank you so much for listening besties I appreciate you so much I love you so much and yeah I hope you have an incredible week much better we've been last week I love you so much and I'll talk to you next Monday goodbye besties
