I'm just gonna tighten this here.
Knock, knock, Arthur, can I come in?
Oh, uh, yeah, hang on, Torbot.
Stay, Torbot, stay.
Affirmative, Maker, Arthur.
Engaging chill-out protocol.
Hey, Amelia.
Hey, what's going on?
Just fixing Chorba, you know.
I'm trying to see if he can do other things besides just clean.
Well, and shoot flames out of his fingers.
Yeah, I know.
He's pretty good at that.
I'm going to keep that feature for sure.
Oh, good, good.
I think it's really helpful.
We've had so many s'mores opportunities that we wouldn't have had otherwise.
And, you know, when Dad needed that metal melted in the garage, Torbot was there to save the day.
He did it so fast.
Dad's always needing metal melted.
I know.
It's kind of weird.
Yeah.
Hey, have you ever listened to Dork Tale Storytime?
I'm sorry.
What was that?
Dork Tale Storytime.
It's a podcast.
It's my new favorite.
Did you say podcast, podcast?
Yeah yeah, i know what it is.
It's real boring stuff because dad always listens to his npr podcast in the morning.
I mean, that's the marketplace one and that's a.
It's a good podcast on its own, but they're not just for adults, it's not just like information.
Wait, there's podcasts for kids.
Yeah, there's a podcast for kids.
This guy, his name is Jonathan Cormer.
He's the host, and he does every single voice.
He does a bunch of different characters.
What?
All on his own, and they all sound really different.
What do they sound like?
Okay, well, one of them is like, Hello.
And one of them is like, hey.
And I can't really, you know me, I'm not really a voice person.
No, that was good.
Yeah, he does a bunch of different ones.
And there is this one.
I wanted to listen to you because it's about pirates.
Aye, love pirates.
I know we are pirates basically, so it's basically like made for us.
Yeah, oh wait.
Speaking of pirates, really quick, look what i made last night.
It's so funny to say that because i made a pirate hat out of the old lace chip bag.
That is amazing.
You've been studying my origami books.
Yes, Yes.
Isn't it cool?
It is really cool.
I kind of slept in it last night.
Kind of did a little bit.
I can tell because your hair looks a little greasy and salty.
Oh, look, a chip.
I thought it was dandruff at first, but I'm glad to know it's just salt.
Salt and vinegar.
Yeah.
Salt and vinegar is the best.
So this is really cool.
And what it made me think was like, if there are podcasts for kids.
Yeah.
What if we made a podcast?
Whoa.
We could make a podcast about being pirates.
And we could do all the voices.
Amelia.
And the cool thing is, is that we wouldn't even have to come up with anything.
We could just talk about what we did.
And we could like go on adventures.
There's no way we could make a podcast.
That's a dream.
Well, you have to describe everything.
So that's kind of hard because it'd be like oh, I'm standing in Arthur's room and it's approximately.
12 by 13 feet and it's got a double bed in it.
In the corner and on the wall is a poster of a robot and then on the opposite wall is schematics for chore bot, and then there's a space for chore bot to go under the bed and also there's like a bean bag and then a little desk where he sits.
But he doesn't sit there much because he doesn't like to do homework, That kind of thing.
That's a lot of work.
You literally just described my entire room perfectly.
Well, I mean, I didn't even say that the ceiling is white and that the walls are blue.
I have those LED laser lights around my bed that I put up, that I got for my birthday last year and that it's on my bedpost and that they're lime green and that it looks super cool.
We could just scribe stuff forever.
That was really good, Arthur.
Thanks.
Maybe we could do it.
I should have talked about the LED lights.
Why didn't I even talk about the LED lights?
Oh, no, that's okay.
I mean, everybody forgets about it but me.
Hey, but we could do it in the attic, and the attic could be our podcast studio.
Oh, my gosh.
And we could—it doesn't sound like this on Dork Tales Storytime, but on Dad's podcast it always sounds like people really need a glass of water.
Their mouths are really dry, and they're like, I'm next.
The Tokyo markets.
Tokyo markets.
Well, we could do that if we wanted to get some adults to listen.
Okay, so maybe just make sure we have dry mouth.
Dry mouths.
I'm assuming we've got to get recording equipment. and all that stuff.
Yeah, I think we should listen to this one.
Okay.
I think you should listen because it's a really good example of how to do a podcast for kids.
So really quick, there's a pirate and then what, there's some other characters in it?
They're on a pirate ship.
So there's like a bunch of people on the pirate ship and they're going to try to find the treasure of this dead pirate named Swashbuckle Joe.
I don't want to spoil what happens at the end, but they look for treasure and they're looking for what Captain would say is booty.
Yeah, it's really cool.
It's like they go on a quest, just like we do every time we go to the cloud sea.
Okay okay, you know what i'm gonna put on my hat and i'm gonna grab my popcorn bucket and we should go listen to it and add it.
Yes, that's perfect, let's go.
Do you want to hop on my shoulders?
Yeah okay, i literally have your back okay, and i'll pull it down.
Okay, all right, let's clamber.
All right clambering okay, all right.
Are you comfy over here?
Yeah, i'm comfy, let me just straighten my hat.
Okay, i want to sit next to you.
Okay wait, want some popcorn?
Yeah, of course i want some popcorn.
Cool okay, i'm gonna hit play.
Hello, Dork Squad.
I'm Jonathan Kormer and you're listening to Dork Tale Storytime, the podcast for kids and their pop culture.
Loving grownups.
We'll see you next time.
Ahoy, me hearties!
Ahoy!
Avast, ye!
Behold the salty sea before us and the stormy skies above.
Tis the perfect day for a treasure hunt out here in the briny deep.
Aye, aye, captain.
Tell me, mateys, Jonathan and Reginald, are ye ready to hunt for treasure?
Aye, aye, captain.
Even if the seas be raging?
Aye, aye, captain.
And the storms be calling.
Aye, aye.
All hands on deck.
Hoist the sails.
Batten down the hatches.
That's the spirit, my boy.
Swab the poop deck.
Scuttle that scuttlebutt.
Aye, aye.
I can't even see, Edgar.
Can you see Edgar, Reg?
Well, he's up there in his crow's nest.
Here, look through this spyglass I brought just for this occasion.
Oh, thank you.
Okay.
Oh, I see him now.
Hello, Captain Edgar, matey.
Arrgh!
Isn't it convenient that pirate ships have a crow's nest for Captain Matey?
Who is a crow?
Well, you're right about Captain Matey being a crow.
And a captain.
But a crow's nest is actually a lookout point at the top of the ship's mast.
It is?
Oh, how wonderful!
You seem very excited to spend the week at sea, Reg.
Oh, not just at sea, but on a hunt for treasure, Jonathan.
I'm more excited than I can properly express.
As you can see, I've worn my snazziest pirate outfit for the occasion.
I like the compass.
Why, thank you.
Land ho!
Oh, blimey.
Captain Matey, have we arrived at our destination?
Any minute now, me lads.
Allow me to join ye on the deck.
I can't believe we're getting so close to finding real treasure.
Bags of gems, a chest filled with gold doubloons, capes made from the finest fabrics and emerald-covered swords.
Yes, yes.
Ah, what glorious booty it will be.
Reg, booty is what pirates call treasure.
Booty.
Oh, well, we've lost him for a second.
Before we hit land?
Can you tell us the story of the sunken treasure again, Captain Matey, so we can be extra prepared for the adventure that lies ahead?
Ah, yes.
It would be my pleasure.
Ahem, beware of the tale of one swashbuckle joe who sailed across the ocean where none else would go.
He gathered such riches the finest in town golden doubloons and big jewels by the pound.
But he loved his treasure far more than his crew, far more than his life of adventure in two.
So when he retired from seafaring bliss, the most precious treasure he found he had missed.
Yo-ho, yo-ho, now ye landlubbers know the tale of old Swashbuckle Joe.
Bravo, bravo, bravissimo.
Wow, did you hear that, Reg?
I know, it be quite the story.
Oh, I heard it.
He gathered the finest riches you've ever seen.
Well, yes, but gold, doubloons, and jewels by the pound.
It be true, me hearties, but alas, alas.
We've delayed too long.
We should disembark and go find the lost treasure of Swashbuckle Joe.
We shall see, mateys.
We shall see.
Right then.
Let's away.
This place is awesome.
Look at all these pirates.
Nets hanging across the ceiling.
The portraits of great pirate captains.
Captain Beatrice Buccaneer.
Captain Lily Cutlass.
Oh, Captain Seashell.
I'm starstruck.
Hey, is that a jukebox that only plays sea shanties?
And a live band?
You are correct, Jonathan.
Here be a gathering place for all the seafaring folk of the land of once upon a time.
This is where we be having grand meals and even grander conversation.
And cheers to life on the water.
This here be Davy Jones Diner.
Arr!
Arr!
Now I've heard tell that the map to Swashbuckle Joe's treasure is hidden within one of these menus.
Hmm, but how will we find it?
We can't just steal everyone's menus while they're ordering breakfast.
Wait, I think I've got an idea.
Shiver me timbers!
What is it, Reginald?
Jonathan, can you please lift me on top of the counter over here?
Uh, okay.
Are you sure about this, Reg?
Quickly, Jonathan, quickly!
All right, all right.
Up you go.
Ahem.
Avast, ye mateys!
Tis I, Reginald T. Hedgehog, and I just sailed in from the treacherous waters of the Biocracy to bring you some astounding entertainment.
Allow me to join this band. for a song worthy of the most fearsome and fabulous pirates in town.
I'm just going to grab this small accordion here.
Reg, do you know how to play the accordion?
Well, I suppose we'll find out.
Captain Matey, we better start sneaking around and looking for the map.
Oh aye aye, and one and two and here we go.
Oh my,
That was exhilarating.
Wow, Reg, you're so good.
Why, thank you.
I'm just as surprised as you are.
A pirate spirit just came over me.
Yeah, I'll say.
Did it work?
Did you find the map?
Arr, I found this menu that's for the young pirates.
And look, if you take your crayons and color these three sections, you can see a map.
And there's an X in this strange landform over here.
Do you recognize this place, Captain Edgar?
Aye, it looks like the plot hook.
The plot hook?
Ooh, sounds intriguing.
I've heard many a tale about the plot hook.
A place where many pirates fear to go, but where unexpected treasures are buried beneath the sand.
Why do pirates fear the plot hook?
Legends say the plot hook is haunted.
Haunted?
With the ghosts of retired pirate captains.
Like Swashbuckle Joe.
Oh, his treasure must be there.
Let's go quickly.
Wow.
Wow.
Arr.
The plot hook is gorgeous.
The water is shining like a big blue sapphire.
Look at all those tall cliffs and soaring birds.
And these tide pools.
So many small creatures and colors.
Hmm, all of this is very, uh, treasure-like, don't you think?
Oh, well, I mean, we still need to look for the doubloons.
And the jewels by the pound.
Psst, hey, uh, you're looking for Swashbuckle Chow's treasure, aren't you?
Who said that?
Down here, in the tide pool.
My name's Barnacle.
I'm the pink Barnacle on the rock to the left.
No, no, my left.
Over here.
Oh, hello, Barney.
Nice to meet you.
We are, in fact, looking for Swashbuckle Joe's treasure.
Can you point us in the correct direction?
There's a small cave to the west on the plot hook.
Most folks miss it, or if they do find it, they find it too spooky to go inside.
But I've heard rumors from other friends who wash into our pools that there's definitely something hidden inside the cave.
That sounds promising.
They've also been hearing the sound of some distant singing, deep in the cave.
But I don't know if I believe it.
Sounds scary and potentially dangerous.
And like the perfect place for treasure.
Thank you for the tip, Barney.
Hi, it's my pleasure.
I hope you find what you're looking for.
Let's away to the cave.
Oh, wonderful to meet you, Barney.
I'll see you later.
I mean, as long as you come visit me.
I'm kind of stuck here.
Goodbye, Barney.
Okay, Barney was right.
This is pretty spooky.
And dark.
And we're not alone.
Who's that?
Only one way to find out.
Deeper into the cave we go.
Right behind you, Reg.
Arr!
Arr!
Oh, it be the ghost of Swashbuckle Joe!
Who dares enter the resting place of Captain Swashbuckle Joe?
Well, uh...
I'm Reginald T. Hedgehog, and this is Jonathan and our captain, Edgar Matey.
And we're here.
Let's pirates be truly brave enough to break into my cave.
Let me guess.
You're wanting to steal me treasure.
I don't know if we want to steal, per se.
Ah, greedy men tell no tales.
We just thought... It was just that... I'm just joking, pals.
All are welcome into Swashbuckle Joe's Cozy Cove.
What's that now?
It's my secret cove in the back of this cave, where I spend time with my ghostly crew.
We sing, we dance, sometimes we go on hikes along the cliffs of the plot hook.
Oh, we have potlucks.
We play bingo.
Huh, wow.
Do you also, uh, guard a vast treasure?
What do you mean?
Of course I do.
What self-respecting ghost pirate wouldn't?
Oh, this is it, Reg.
Here we go.
Voila!
But I don't see any big treasure chests overflowing with gold.
I just see many pirate ghosts singing and dancing.
Aye, this time with my crew is the treasure.
Aye, aye.
I see.
Come on in, mates.
Let's join together in song.
Well, I mean, you don't have to twist my arm for a good group sing-along.
You must be a true pirate, my friend.
For I am a pirate king.
Well, that was quite fun, I must admit.
It was a blast!
Singing and dancing with pirate ghosts?
What could be better?
But I thought for sure we were going to uncover a great lost treasure.
Yeah, me too, Reg.
What a disappointment.
Now do not hang the jib, me hearties.
Turn those frowns upside down.
Are you forgetting the true lesson of Swashbuckle Joe's tale?
He found so much amazing treasure.
Gold in the blooms and big jewels by the pound.
And...
And he forgot to appreciate the crew that helped him get there and how much fun they had along the way and the beautiful sights he saw.
That's right, me hearties.
You know Reg, we may not have found a chest overflowing with jewels, but We did find a lot of treasure today.
Remember when we went to the hotspot for pirates on the coast, Davy Jones Diner, and you used your cleverness so that we could find the secret map hidden among the menus?
Reg, that will always be one of my favorite memories from our adventures.
Oh, it will definitely go down in our friendship's history.
And did you see how I played that accordion?
I was floored.
Then we saw the stunning plot hook.
You're right, Captain.
That place could certainly be classified as a treasure.
And we met a new friend named Bonnie.
Also, let's not forget, we met the ghost of an infamous pirate, a real ghost and danced with his ghostly crew.
Thank you for reminding us what really matters, Captain Matey.
There be nothing wrong with wanting a nice thing now and again, so long as you don't lose sight on where your true heart lies.
Hear, hear.
We'll always appreciate the good people and places and hedgehogs and hedgehogs that surround us every day.
Now, would ye hearties like to hear another shanty from old Edgar, matey, as we sail back home?
Yes, please.
All righty.
Have you heard tale of a treasure at sea?
One of great value to these pirates three.
It's not shiny doubloons or even real gold.
Just time spent on daring adventures untold.
It's memories made and friendships oath sworn.
And bonds that will weather the fiercest of storms.
So that is their secret for all to now know, the lesson we learned from the tale of old Joe.
Yo-ho, yo-ho, go on and hoist the sails and write your own pirate tales.
This is a John and character production.
The story was written and produced by Molly Murphy and performed by Jonathan Cormer.
Sound recording and production by Jermaine Hamilton at Hamilton Studios.
Reach out to us on Instagram or email us at dorktalesstorytime at gmail.com.
Find links in the show notes or go to dorktalesstorytime.com.
Now, go be the hero of your own story and we'll see you next Once Upon a Time.
The wonderful, wacky, wild world of dork tales.
La-da-dee-da, la-da-dee-da.
