This is an All Ears English podcast.
Build more togetherness with this English word.
Welcome to the All Ears English podcast, downloaded more than 200 million times.
Are you feeling stuck with your English?
We'll show you how to become fearless and fluent by focusing on connection, not perfection, with your American hosts, Lindsay McMahon, the English adventurer, and Michelle Kaplan, the New York radio girl coming to you from Colorado and New York City, USA.
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English is all about human connection.
What would you say if we told you that there is one single easy word that you can add to the end of your invitations to make connection more clear?
Well, there is.
Listen in to find out what it is today.
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Hello michelle, how are you today?
I'm doing well, lindsay.
Lindsay, have you made any new friends recently?
Wow michelle, it's not easy making friends as an adult, but there's a friend of a friend that i've seen a few times recently.
She lives in boulder.
She's come to a couple of people's birthday events and then You know, so maybe I'll see her again soon.
We'll see.
But it's not easy, right?
No, it's not easy.
Certainly not.
And also, you know, sometimes you meet someone and you think you know you're connecting with them and then you don't know.
As an adult, do you ask for their number?
It's so awkward.
Yes, exactly.
So, but today we are going to talk about a really great way that you can just add an extra word or two when you do want to get up that courage to invite someone to do something.
Yes.
And it does enhance the vibe.
It enhances kind of a sense of, I want to get to know you.
I want to spend time with you.
Um, what is that key word real quick, Michelle?
The keyword is together.
Um, yeah, this is going to be great.
So we're going to talk about this word, how we can use it to make these connections and other ways we can say this.
So this is going to be a good episode Lindsay but guys, If you want to hear more good episodes from All Ears English, make sure you hit that follow button.
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So Michelle, how does this sound different when we add the word together?
Let's do two examples.
Are you ready?
Okay.
Want to play tennis versus want to play tennis together?
What's the vibe?
What's the feeling?
How's it different?
Yeah.
Well, to me this sounds like when you add together, you're really focused on building the relationship, connecting.
I mean, there's nothing wrong with leaving it out.
But to me, especially if you are building this relationship, you don't know the person well yet, adding that together, it's really good to build that connection.
It's great for new friendships.
Want to play tennis?
Maybe to me sounds like we were already there.
You know, we're a little more casual.
What do you think?
Yeah, I think you're right.
And I think with this example of tennis, it might imply that, Oh, want to play tennis.
I'm a part of a league.
There'll be a lot of people there.
It's not about you and me.
It's about the game of tennis.
But when I add together, it then becomes about you and me getting to know each other.
Does that make sense?
Right.
Yes, exactly.
So just that one little word can really change how somebody imagines what this is going to be like.
Yeah, it's really interesting.
Yeah.
Right.
Yeah.
So we are going to do some more examples now.
And also this kind of – I put in a couple different ways that you can start the invite.
Okay.
So we'll talk through those as well.
So the first one is what we already talked about, want to walk our dogs together.
Yeah.
Right?
It would be – actually, if you just say want to walk our dogs, it feels –
It's a little off.
It feels like it's missing something.
It's a little off, right?
Yeah.
I want to walk our dogs.
You could and the person would probably understand you, but this kind of rounds it out and it shows that What matters to you is spending the time one-on-one right with this other person okay.
Another one would be, would you want to get lunch together after practice?
Again, that helps the person envision the two of you are going to sit together at a table and have lunch.
Mm hmm.
And notice we said, would you want to?
That's another really common way that you can casually invite someone to do something.
Yeah.
Would you want to is a slightly more indirect invitation, isn't it, Michelle?
Wouldn't you say?
Yeah.
Yeah.
A little bit.
Right.
Exactly.
Or this one, are you up for going shopping together?
Nice.
And I like how we're trying different ways of inviting at the top.
The grammar is different here, but the point here is the together adds the togetherness, right?
Together adds the togetherness, Michelle.
It's so beautiful.
Exactly.
I think it really does make a difference.
It sounds, it sounds more complete and especially focuses on building that relationship.
Totally.
And also I think it sounds.
It would I mean Lindsay, if you were saying oh, want to record another episode, right?
If you said, would you want to record another episode together?
Yeah, that's not really, that's kind of not exactly the right context.
Right.
Well, when we're podcasting, I mean, don't get me wrong.
We love it.
We're working, right?
It's also our profession.
So it's a little bit different than inviting a friend.
This veers more, in my opinion, into the friends, family thing.
I also think this would be really.
I use this with my partner even when I want to ask my partner you want to want to take a walk together tonight?
It could strengthen romantic relationships and show the person I want to spend time with you.
Right.
Right.
That's interesting.
I didn't think about that.
I was thinking of it more for new relationships, but it does kind of change the tone.
You know, it makes it a little different than if you just said want to take a walk.
And I think especially if you know that that person like my partner's love language is definitely quality time.
And if you know that person's love language is quality time or something like that, it's an especially effective way to emphasize I want to spend time with you.
So you put in that thought, actually.
Exactly.
And it's so easy to add that on.
And it's genuine, right?
Obviously.
So there's a lot of good benefits that can come from this.
Yes.
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Okay.
So Michelle, we don't have to always say together, together, together, together.
We could say other things.
Um, exactly.
Yeah.
There are other things that you can say in this situation.
So you could, instead of together, say with me, what do you think about this one?
Sure.
You want to get coffee with me?
I'm so tired.
Yeah.
I think that also gets to a similar goal.
Don't you think so?
Yeah, I think so.
I slightly more casual sounding.
Um, uh, but yeah, also very helpful.
Um, this is a little different.
This one is just saying come.
Yeah.
So yeah.
Like just saying what you're doing, this is a different format.
You say what you're doing and then saying come or even come along.
Right.
This is very casual, pretty familiar.
So yeah.
For example, you could say, My friends and I are going to the movies Friday night.
Come.
Mm hmm.
That's an option, too.
Yeah, I like that.
It adds energy to the invitation.
It shows that you want that person there.
Right.
You're enthusiastic.
Right.
Exactly.
It may not be quite as much about the one on one thing as it might be getting to a different kind of goal of building the relationship in a different way.
But sure.
Or another example, I'm going to grab a bagel from the shop downstairs.
Come along.
Come along works.
It feels a little like.
I probably wouldn't use it myself.
It feels a little more old, like older or something.
What do you think, Michelle?
Do you use this one?
Yeah, I could.
I see what you're saying to me.
I think, well, yeah, I think just saying come is a little bit more natural.
Like, oh, come, right?
It's an enthusiastic way to invite someone to do something.
And also you might hear somebody say come with.
Have you ever heard that?
Yeah, this one's trendy, right?
It's a little young sounding.
It's trendy.
It's cute though, right?
So if that's your audience, you know, it makes sense.
Come with, and it doesn't mean someone who's 40 plus can't use it.
Don't get me wrong.
It just, it feels a little young to me.
Do you think, do you agree with that?
Yeah, I'm not sure.
I hear it in Many different ways, I guess.
It's just it is.
But it is a little it's cute sounding.
I'll say that.
Yeah.
So, I mean, for example, you could say I'm I'm going to grab a brownie from that new bakery.
Come with.
Right.
Yeah, totally.
Come with.
Right.
So it's kind of cool because we're really dropping brands. most of the sentence, right?
Do you want to come with me?
And we're taking two words, but we can get away with it because it's a saying, it's a chunk.
It is a common, it's in our common colloquial phrasing, right?
Right.
And then this one is a whole, it's whole question on its own, but very direct.
Want to join me?
Right.
So again, you know, In these you see different examples, ones where you say would you like to do this together?
Would you like to do this with me?
But then the other way you can do it is saying what you're doing and then asking.
So that's kind of interesting.
Two different ways to do it.
So want to join me?
So I'm going fishing tomorrow.
Want to join me?
I like that.
I actually use that one a lot because it's very straightforward.
Hey, this is what I'm doing.
I'd love to have your company.
It shows confidence because you're still going to go do the thing, but you'd love to have their company.
So I like it.
I like it.
Um, these are natural natural, fun ways to show that you care about the person Michelle, don't you think?
Yeah.
Yeah, absolutely.
Um, you know, there are more ways to do this.
There might be.
Maybe we could do a romantic way one day.
But you know you could say Oh, just us, or just the two of us.
Right.
Those might sound a little bit more romantic.
So we're kind of.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's an important one to highlight Michelle, because earlier we talked about including this together.
Want to walk.
Want to take a walk in the park together tonight.
That is just building your romantic relationship or your friendships.
But these ones you just mentioned are definitely more romantic.
Romantic like you're imagining a candle at dinner.
Okay, right in the park you're gonna go, bring a table, put candles and everything.
That's seriously romantic.
It's a different level, right.
Yes.
Yeah, exactly.
I mean Lindsay when you which one of these sounds feels the most natural to you or would make you feel confident inviting someone?
So I do use together.
I do like to use that because I'm cognizant of what it does or what we we.
Our premise today is that it builds a relationship, but I don't use it all the time.
The other one I like is want to join me.
I'm going to play tennis tomorrow.
Want to join me.
Right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I like, um, want to join me.
I also like come nice.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's fun because that's kind of like, Hey, we're already doing this thing.
Yo, join us.
Come on.
Right.
It's going to be fun.
Maybe we're all walking over to a party together.
Hey, we're going to a party.
Come.
Right.
Yeah, exactly.
Exactly.
So let's do a role play here.
We're going to put some of these together together.
So here we are acquaintances from a workout class that we take weekly.
All right.
Here we go.
Hi, Lindsay.
That was such a good workout.
I'm actually going to try the other class tomorrow morning.
Want to join me?
Oh, sure.
Should we go to lunch together after?
Oh, I'd love to.
Okay.
I'm so thirsty.
There's the water cooler.
Come.
Good idea.
I'm going to grab a snack.
Want to get some ice cream with me?
Sounds amazing.
Ice cream after our class.
Nice.
I love that idea.
Good tradition, right?
Yes.
Yeah.
So we said we used a few of them here.
So you said, I'm actually going to try the other class tomorrow morning.
Want to join me?
Really nice.
Really straightforward.
Yeah. works with pretty much everyone.
Right.
Yeah.
And then you said, should we do lunch together after?
Excellent.
Yeah.
So you're adding that little extra boost of indicating that hey, I want to spend time with you, you and me.
And again, it's not necessarily romantic.
It's friendly.
It's building a friendship.
Okay.
Yes.
We're building a romantic relationship that's already there, but it's not uber romantic right now.
Right.
And then I'd love to, okay, I'm so thirsty.
There's the water cooler.
Come.
And you might be gesturing when you say this, right?
I'm going to go over, fill up my water bottle.
Come.
And we'll chat more right, right.
And i think that this one is good for a come can be really good for these casual oh, just come over here, like come, follow me, right?
It doesn't always have to be for a formal invitation yeah um, it could just be oh, i'm going over here, come.
You kind of need to say it with enthusiasm.
Yeah, you can't just say come come no, it has to be come, right.
There has to be an exclamation point on the end of that in your voice, that it has to show up in your voice.
Yeah, exactly.
And then you said, I'm going to grab a snack, want to grab some ice cream with me.
Okay, nice.
I love how we can just simply add these little things at the end of our statements and they can build the relationship, build the connection, the friendship.
So good.
Yeah, absolutely.
Guys, if you want to check out another really great episode about English Conversations.
Check out 2464.
That was Build a Better English Conversation with This Bridge.
Ooh, good one.
Really good.
Michelle, what's our takeaway for today?
Where do we want to leave our listeners?
This is another Real Connection episode.
Yeah, this really is.
It shows you how just one or two words can really change the sound of what you are asking or what you are suggesting.
And it can start to build a connection that either is there and you want to make stronger, or even a new friendship.
Yeah super, incredibly useful if your goal is connection, which our whole idea on this show is that human connection matters more than anything.
So now our listeners have one of those tools to do it.
So everyone, don't forget to hit the follow button right here on All Ears English.
If you love our show, we'll be back next week for five more amazing episodes.
So don't miss a single one.
Right, Michelle?
All right, Lindsay, this was fun.
And maybe we can, I'm happy to keep recording together for many years to come.
I don't know.
I had to fit it in there.
We'll do it.
We'll do it.
All right, Michelle, good stuff.
We'll talk to you soon.
Have a good day.
Bye.
Bye.
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