This is an All Ears English podcast, episode 48.
Are you the problem?
How to learn English if you are shy.
Welcome to the All Ears English podcast where you'll finally get real native English conversation and fluency for business and life.
We believe in connection, not perfection when it comes to learning English.
Now here are your hosts Lindsay McMahon, the English adventurer, and Michelle Kaplan, the New York radio girl, coming to you from Boston and New York City, USA.
Hey.
Are you shy when it comes to learning English?
Today, get Lindsay's and Michelle's advice on how to overcome this problem and to start taking action to move through and beyond your shyness.
Do you ever feel like your English is good but not quite where you want it to be?
Maybe you can have conversations, but you still hesitate when expressing complex ideas.
Maybe you know what you want to say. but you can't always say it naturally.
If that sounds familiar, our B2 English fluency course was designed for you.
You'll learn how to speak more naturally, express yourself with confidence and finally stop feeling stuck at the intermediate level.
This week, you can save $50 on our basic plan or save $100 on our personal coach plan.
Go to allearsenglish.com slash B2.
That's allearsenglish.com slash letter B number two.
Hey, Michelle, how's everything today?
What are you up to?
Hey, Lindsay.
I'm not up to too much.
Just hanging out.
How are you?
How's your day going?
Good.
It's going well.
Is there anything new in New York City?
Our listeners know that you are based in New York and the most exciting city in the world.
Yeah, no, everything's good.
Enjoying, been going out to eat a little bit and enjoying the weather.
So yeah, everything's good over here.
Awesome.
Well, I have a question for you, Michelle, about New York, actually.
Do you think that people, if they're shy, do you think that they are able to succeed in New York?
What do you think?
I mean a shy person in the big bad city of New York right, where you have to be so forward, you have to be so aggressive in a way to get anything, including an apartment.
Yeah right, you know, how should a shy person act in new york and can they succeed, or do they need to change?
That's a really good question.
I think that i think the beauty of new york is that anyone can can succeed.
Yeah um, i think that you can find a way.
Um i i, I think a shy person can definitely succeed in New York.
But I do think you have to push yourself a little bit.
Because New York is certainly more of a city where you have to be aggressive if you want to.
There are so many people, right?
So you have to stand out.
Yes.
You have to go to I mean, if you're let's say you're looking for a job going to network events, networking events, things like that.
However, then there are certain fields, it kind of depends, you know, what's what's your goal, right?
Okay.
What are you looking to do?
Maybe you're looking for a job in a certain field where maybe it's not as competitive.
Maybe you don't need to be as aggressive or outgoing in that field.
I mean, certainly if you're in the entertainment industry, it's different.
But if you're in another industry, it might be different as well.
So I think you can succeed.
But I think...
Overall, just because of the sheer volume of people, I think it's important to push yourself a little bit out of your comfort zone.
Push yourself.
You lived in New York.
I lived in New York and I had to be very forward when it came to, like I said, finding an apartment in New York.
We had to be quite aggressive at finding a job.
I had to really be willing to advocate for myself.
But that's really true in many places, but especially in New York, because I think, regardless of the industry, the competition could be intense.
Even working in a language school for me in Herald Square, I had to really say hey, this is why I'm the right person for the job.
And I had to show no sense of shyness or no sense of self-doubt.
But at the same time Michelle, we know that a lot of our listeners might struggle with feeling shy, but that doesn't mean you can't see improvement in your English.
Right, Michelle?
Right, right, right.
Exactly.
You just have to put yourself forward and kind of focus on your goals.
And if you're a little shy, you need to think of...
You know, ways to just, again, focus on that connection.
It doesn't have to focus like have a focus on being like the star of the party.
Right.
That's not what we're saying.
Yeah, exactly.
I mean, there are a couple of things you can do.
If you're shy, you can take an intermediate practice step, which means practice speaking on your own.
For this show.
We could be the people that you're practicing with in a way guys, where you could get our transcripts, you could read them out loud and learn with us by yourself before you go to that live event or that class.
What do you think about that idea?
I think that's a great idea.
Yeah, I think just really practicing, getting yourself comfortable.
I think the more preparation, the better.
Another thing you can do is record yourself.
And listen to your own speaking.
So, I mean, I always like to tell my students that, you know, try recording yourself.
It feels a little silly.
It feels a little funny.
But and just realize, like when you I mean Lindsay, do you do you feel?
Do you like listening to yourself?
Oh my gosh.
I don't really, but actually, to be honest, I've gotten to the point where I don't mind it.
I don't mind it.
I think that's because of our job.
That's because we record a ton of audio together.
So we're used to it.
But that's the point, right, Michelle?
I mean, 10,000 hours of practice, right?
That's the famous thing that you need to just to get over anything, to move beyond a sense of, you know, being paralyzed or paralysis or shyness.
We have to just do the action that we're afraid to do.
Right.
And that's why.
So, if I listen back to, you know the episodes from a long time ago from all or well, we just started the show.
So, So early episodes.
Obviously you know when we just started it.
When we first started, you know 40 episodes ago, it felt weird listening.
But now, you know, now that we're, yeah, we're up here in the 40s, we're feeling better.
Yeah.
Right, right, right, right.
Exactly, exactly.
Yeah.
So it changes.
So recording yourself and getting used to it and getting comfortable with that, I think is a huge tool.
Yeah, completely.
And then the other piece.
The other piece of advice today is be sure to choose the right context for going and practicing.
If you're going to go to an event, you know, even if you live in Taiwan, you live in Tokyo, you live in Thailand the T's today, for some reason.
Right.
You know, there are events of native speakers, of expats or even just English learners, where a teacher will be hosting the event.
You can go make sure it's a friendly, a smaller event if you don't want to jump into a big one.
So choose the right event, the right context that's not too noisy.
Okay.
Right.
Yeah, I think that'll definitely make people feel more comfortable.
Just kind of, you know, the expression getting your feet wet, you know?
Exactly.
Exactly.
And I mean, I think we can end it on this idea.
Just make sure that you are not the one holding yourself back, guys.
Right?
Be sure that that's not happening because it could be.
Right, Michelle?
Yeah, it definitely could be.
Sometimes we get too much in our heads and too much in our nerves.
And I think sometimes we just have to focus on doing things.
Doing.
Yeah.
Rather than thinking about it so much.
And I'm definitely guilty.
I can think too much about things.
And you kind of get into that paralysis.
You freeze up and, you know, just try and push yourself.
Say like, OK, I'm just I'm just going to do it.
Exactly.
You're just going to do it.
And that's why we're here to encourage you guys, to show you that you should be focusing on connection right.
Not perfection.
We're getting out of the perfection idea and into focusing on connecting with human beings.
With our English,
I love it so much.
All right, guys.
So in the next episode, we're going to talk about the power of thought, right?
When it So make sure you follow this podcast.
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Right, Michelle?
Yes.
Yes, yes, yes.
All right.
Well, we will see you on the next one.
And thank you for listening.
All right.
Take care.
Bye.
All right.
Bye.
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