This is an All Ears English podcast, episode 2654.
Do you love it or hate it?
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We'll show you how to become fearless and fluent by focusing on connection not perfection with your american host michelle kaplan the new york radio girl
And Aubrey Carter, the IELTS whiz, coming to you from Arizona and New York City, USA.
And to get your transcripts delivered by email every week, go to allearsenglish.com forward slash subscribe.
On today's episode, Aubrey and Michelle talk about the expressions, I don't love it and I don't hate it.
These may not mean exactly what you think, depending on context and intonation.
Learn more today so you can use these in your everyday conversations.
Hello, Michelle.
How are things?
Things are good, Aubrey.
How are you?
I'm great.
Question for you.
Do you allow eating in any room of your house or are some rooms off limits?
Well...
It's a good question.
I don't think that I have like an actual strict rule about it.
I think Dan is better at trying to get the kids to not eat in certain places.
But I have been known to eat a meal in bed.
That's my favorite thing to do.
Don't tell anyone.
But like I would never have my kids do that.
That
No absolutely right
This is
It's pretty strict in our home but same same as you it's my husband who is much more strict about it
Like no food upstairs at all no food
Like kitchen only kitchen or outside
Take your popsicle out to the backyard right but not anywhere else
But do the kids listen
Do the kids do that
Absolutely not.
They have food and snacks hidden in their rooms.
They're constantly getting after them.
And I don't eat in the bed very often, but every now and then I will.
It's like an emergency situation.
Yeah, totally.
Yeah, emergency, emergency.
Like I have my glass of wine next to the bed and I'm like, it's an emergency.
That's funny.
Fine.
Yes, exactly.
So today we are going to talk about a fun yet light way to say that you don't like something.
And we're talking about this because I heard Dan say this in the context of what we're talking about.
Love it.
So the story is my kids were eating something with honey.
I forget what it was.
And it was they were on the couch over the carpet.
And he said, I don't love honey on the carpet.
That is amazing.
I say this a lot and my husband does too, right?
And what we really mean is you should not be eating on the carpet.
You should not be eating while sitting on the couch because what we're saying is I don't want you to get honey on the couch or on the carpet.
So I don't want you to be eating honey over there.
And this is how we say it.
Sometimes we'll say, like, I don't love the idea of honey on the carpet or I don't love honey on the carpet.
Totally.
Yeah.
And I wrote it down because it just made me laugh.
And it's very natural.
And it's a common way to say you don't want something.
You don't want something to happen.
Like, don't do something.
Absolutely.
Yeah, so this is going to be fun.
So first of all, guys, we want to remind you to hit the follow button or subscribe on YouTube, wherever you are listening to or watching the All Ears English podcast so you never miss anything.
And also, Aubrey, we want to say thank you so much to our listeners who have
Written reviews for us.
Yes, exactly.
We're going to shout out a couple of your names now from Apple Podcasts, Annie in China and Serksel Rostam.
Thank you so much for your reviews, your ratings, everyone who leaves a review wherever that is, Spotify, Android, Apple, in the app.
On YouTube, all of these comments and ratings and reviews.
We love them.
We read them.
They really help us have the motivation to keep going to plan these great episodes for you.
Absolutely.
So if you haven't written a review, please do so we really do read them.
We send them around to each other makes our days.
So um, all right, so let's get into it.
So this construction is I don't love X. I don't love something.
For example, I don't love staying up past 11.
That's true for me, except I could say I don't love staying up past 9.
Yeah.
I'm tired because I'm up so early.
So I'm tired really, really get up early.
Yeah.
Or I don't love the redecorating done in this room.
Right.
So I don't love it.
Don't say that to someone who did the redecorating.
No, no, no, no, no.
Or I don't love this combination of salty and sweet.
So this is a kind of a positive spin when you're in a restaurant, for example.
And what you mean is I don't like this, but you're trying to be positive.
You're trying not to say something rude.
This is a nicer way to say that.
I don't love this.
Right, right.
Exactly.
So yeah, I mean, you answered my question.
I was gonna say, how does that sound to you?
It does sound like you're trying to be a little bit soft, softer.
You know, you're not trying to be too blunt.
And you might get more details after you might be like, I don't love it, but I've had worse.
Yeah.
Right.
Exactly.
Yeah.
So to me, it sounds very light.
And even though you may not love it, you may not hate it.
Right.
It just depends on the context and the tone.
So you probably wouldn't say this if you did hate it.
You'd say something else.
You'd be like, it's not my favorite or something like that.
Right, right.
Exactly.
So here's an example.
I don't love this color, but I think we should go with it for now.
So maybe you need to make a decision for a presentation or whatever it is.
And you're saying, okay, well, we need to just...
Get this done.
So I don't love it, but let's just go with it.
I probably said this about the color we painted our house because we wanted to go really light, like almost white, but we had to choose from HOA colors, like pre-approved colors.
And none of them were very light.
And we were so frustrated.
And they fine you if you don't choose one of their colors.
So we chose the lightest one they had, which was not as light as we wanted.
And we'd be like, I don't love this, but we're just going to have to go with it because we have no other options.
Right, yeah, yeah, that's a perfect example.
Or, Aubrey, you were talking about wine in bed.
You could say, I don't love this wine with this dish, but I see why they put them together.
Oh yeah, because sometimes there will be a suggested pairing and you'll be like, it's not what I would have chosen, but I can kind of get it, right?
Like I understand it, right?
For me, I don't know about you, Michelle, but I'm like every Cabernet Sauvignon.
Give me a Cab Sav.
I'm going to love it.
I don't think I've ever had a Cab Sav I didn't like.
I love them all.
I like Malbec.
Oh, Malbec's good too.
Yes.
I mean, everyone has their favorites, but in general, I even like the like $4 one at Trader Joe's.
Give me.
Delicious.
Um that's so funny
Um so this could actually though also sound a bit more serious or even used to reprimand someone or give rules like dan and the honey like i don't love honey on the carpet like we're not you know doing this um what you really mean is don't eat honey on the carpet exactly right
Right.
So I don't love where this conversation is going right now.
So it's like you can tell things are maybe getting a little bit more argumentative with someone.
The things are coming up.
And so you might say, I don't love where this is going right now.
Like maybe we should just talk about something else.
And this is really interesting.
It is a little bit loaded.
If you are wanting to pivot to something else, we've talked about on the podcast ways to do that, ways to change the subject.
And this is one way to do that.
But there is an implication here of creativity.
Criticizing the other person.
You are telling them something they just said or the way they're handling the conversation, the way they're reacting to you or not listening to you, you don't love.
And so you are letting them know that in a kind way before pivoting away.
And so when you say this, you're intentionally giving them that message.
Like, I don't like the way you've been, something about the way you've been handling this.
So let's talk about something and then you're going to change the subject.
But you want that message to be clear.
And that's when we would say that.
Yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
Or what's another example, Aubrey?
Then you might say, I don't love how you've been ignoring some of my emails.
So this could be a coworker that is not responding to a lot of your emails and you're trying to figure out a way to say it a little bit playfully,
But also let them know like you need to read my emails and respond.
Yeah, yeah, be careful with this one to a co worker, you know, it would have to be like, I would say this to you, Michelle, maybe.
Exactly.
Exactly.
If somebody you're close with, you can be truthful.
Well, playful, right?
I'd be like, so playful with exactly the way you're ignoring all of my emails.
But I also I don't even know if I would do that because I would know there's probably a reason you're super busy and there's still implied criticism there.
So I would probably still be like, did you happen to see my last email?
Right, right, right.
Exactly.
Because this doesn't show care really.
Like you do need to be careful.
This is maybe more if you have already tried to be careful and now you need to be more clear, but you're still trying to use language that is kind and polite.
This would work.
Yeah, yeah, really interesting.
And you also might just hear people say, I don't love it, right?
So for example, let's do this little role play.
What do you think of the new roller coaster they added?
I don't love it.
And I'm probably going to share more details because if you just stop there, it's like it feels a little brusque.
But then if you're like, I got sick, honestly, we were upside down way too long.
You would probably give details about why you didn't love it.
Exactly.
All right.
So we are going to go over the opposite in just a minute after the break.
All right.
Okay.
So Aubrey, so can you say the opposite?
Can you say I don't hate something or I don't hate it?
Absolutely.
Right.
Well...
I don't hate it.
It actually means the same thing, I think.
If I'm like, I don't love it.
Or I'm like, I don't hate it.
It's kind of the same for me.
Both of them, I'm like, it wasn't the worst.
That's true.
That's so interesting.
It is interesting.
They mean the same thing to me.
It is kind of the same.
Yeah, so you could say, oh, I don't hate it.
Yeah, that's what I say.
Right, and it can actually be pretty positive sounding in a weird way.
Let's do a little role play, right?
Let's do this little role play.
What do you think of the coffee?
I know you're a coffee snob.
Let's see.
Hmm.
Hmm.
I don't hate it.
Okay.
Yeah, this is interesting.
Yeah, it is interesting because if I said I don't love it, it would mean more, like it sounds worse than saying I don't
I don't hate it.
So funny how these expressions work.
But you can also use it like this.
So here's an example.
I went to the mall and they put in a new restaurant.
I didn't hate it.
It'll probably do well there.
Nice.
And when I say this, the intonation is interesting, right?
If I say like, I didn't hate it, that sounds like I also didn't love it.
But if I say like, I went to the mall and they put in a new restaurant, I didn't hate it.
It would probably do well there.
That means I really liked it.
It's all about your intonation.
There's intonation that can make it sound huge.
I didn't hate it.
You absolutely liked it.
You can't just say this in a monotone.
No.
Or at least it wouldn't be clear if you're like, I didn't hate it.
That sounds like, I didn't really like it, but I didn't hate it.
True.
Right, right.
So if you are a little bit more emphatic, like, oh, I didn't hate it, and sound a little surprised, that sounds more positive.
Totally.
Interesting.
So this is tricky.
You could confuse someone depending on the intonation you use and the context, right?
You need very clear intonation.
And also recognize that is a possibility.
There are lots of different meanings depending on the intonation.
So anticipate that, that there could be misunderstandings when you're trying to use these.
And then make sure to share details after that make it clear.
If you're like, I didn't hate it.
It was actually amazing.
The dessert was fantastic.
The entree, right?
The more details you share, the more it's clear what you meant by that phrase.
Exactly.
Exactly.
I mean, or you could say something like, I don't hate what they've done with the design.
Right?
So that's more positive sounding rather than like, oh, I don't hate what they've done with the design.
And again, the more detail you share, if you then share how you love the spiral staircase or
Yes.
You love whatever about the lines, the motif, then that's going to clue them into what you actually mean.
Right.
Yeah.
So, guys, again, it can be a little tricky because of context, intonation.
Aubrey, you also used the word loaded to talk about this earlier.
There's a lot to this.
Like, I would say...
I think I don't love it is a little bit more natural and easier to kind of navigate.
But I don't know if you agree.
Yeah, I can see what you mean.
I think I use I don't love it more often.
I use I don't hate it more with like really exaggerated intonation to share that I expected to dislike something.
Right.
And I'm surprised how much I loved it.
Right.
If I get like a cheap ice cream that I'm like, this might not be good because it was two bucks or whatever.
And then I'm like, oh.
I don't hate this because i am also sharing that
I expected to not be impressed and then i was yes and isn't that the best
Yes you might also say i'm pleasantly surprised
Right that's a good bonus
Pleasantly surprised surprised yes
So this is a role play.
We are friends at a hot sauce store trying samples.
Michelle, I have to tell you, because hot sauce has come up here.
Have you seen the TV show?
I know.
What's it called?
Corporate retreat?
Company retreat.
Company retreat.
Aubrey, we have so many.
We have to talk about this later.
We will.
Yes.
So guys, Michelle and I... That's exactly what I was thinking about when I was so funny.
Michelle...
So we're going to speak more about this off the air, but I just want to share with all of you listening, if you haven't seen it, you've got to watch it.
I loved it so much.
You need to first watch Jury Duty.
That was the first season.
Which was incredible.
James Marsden is so amazing in it.
And the whole setup is that there's one person who doesn't realize they're
On a TV show that it's like candid camera where they don't realize everyone else is an actor.
Everyone's an actor except one person who's just a normal person like me or Michelle or anybody out there listening.
But they're filming everything because they're like, oh, we're filming for a documentary, whatever.
So they know there are cameras.
So they're maybe on a little bit on better behavior because they know their cameras, but they don't know that everyone else is an actor.
And these actors are doing increasingly crazy stuff to see how this regular person reacts.
And it is so funny.
I laugh so hard.
So watch Jury Duty, the first one.
We're obsessed with it.
And it's also so good because there's such short episodes.
It's not like...
They go by in a blink.
They're not...
Yeah, it's awesome.
So go watch it, guys.
I'm glad you wrote me the name of it because I was calling it corporate retreat, but it's company retreat.
Company retreat.
Yes, guys, go watch it.
Leave a comment for us on YouTube to see if you liked it as much as Michelle and I did.
And then we'll talk about it more later.
I'm obsessed.
I think it's so fun.
I love it too.
I love it too.
All right.
So here we are at a hot sauce store.
So fun.
Trying samples.
Okay.
This one is called Hot, Hot, Hot.
Okay.
I'll try it.
Hmm.
I don't love it.
Yeah.
I mean, I don't love when there's a fruity taste to a hot sauce.
If it's sweet.
Hmm.
Yeah, same.
All right, next one.
Hotter than the sun.
Okay, here goes.
I don't hate it.
Yeah, it's not bad.
Nice, right?
And so there, when I say I don't hate it, I mean, I really like this.
Interesting.
So good.
Yeah.
So first I said, I'm trying and I said, hmm, I don't love it.
So this definitely sounds like I'm not a huge fan.
Exactly.
Like I don't hate it, but I certainly wouldn't like order it and put it on my barbecue sandwich.
Right.
I don't like it that much.
And then I said, yeah, I don't love when there's a fruity taste in a barbecue sauce.
We'll often use it this way.
I'm saying it means the exact same thing as I don't like when there's blah, blah, blah, blah.
But we say it this way as well.
I don't love when it's like this.
Yeah.
And then I said, okay, next one.
So we're going to the next sample.
I said, hotter than the sun.
And you said, okay, here goes.
And then you said, I don't hate it, which means you're pleasantly surprised.
You thought that you didn't have high hopes based on the last one.
I'm like, these are all going to be gross.
And then this one I love.
So I'm like, okay.
I don't hate it.
Meaning I really like this one.
But again, if the intonation were different, if I was just like, I don't hate it.
I don't hate it.
That would mean like, it's okay.
So it really depends on your intonation here.
So go back and listen.
Pay attention to the intonation we're using.
It is sort of over exaggerated.
If you're wanting to say, I love this.
I don't hate this.
It's pretty extreme intonation.
So guys, if you haven't already, go back a few episodes.
We did.
That was 2648 of the All Ears English podcast.
That was tough love for your English.
So Aubrey, takeaways for today.
I mean, this is just so interesting.
There's so much about context and
So intonation, really paying attention here and considering how you want to use these phrases, but they are very natural.
And variety of vocabulary.
You don't want to say, I like this, I like that.
I don't like this, I don't like that.
That's so boring.
These are way more interesting ways to say that.
Oh my gosh.
And if listeners, if you are preparing for the IELTS exam, you know we have another podcast, IELTS Energy.
But if you're listening to All Ears English, which you should be as well, to learn vocabulary and strategies and improve your listening skills...
This is a great IELTS strategy to avoid vocabulary.
This is high scoring vocabulary that pushes you to use high scoring pronunciation instead of saying, I like this and I like that.
I didn't hate that.
I didn't love that.
Use this on IELTS speaking exam.
Uh-huh.
Exactly.
All right, Aubrey, this has been so much fun.
And guys, we'll see you on the next episode.
See you next time.
Bye.
Thanks for listening to all ears English.
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