This is an All Ears English podcast, episode 2613.
At the end of your rope, five ways to express frustration in English.
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Part of connection is showing that your emotions are not always the same.
Today, get new phrases to show that you are done or fed up with something in English.
Many English learners focus on grammar.
They want their sentences to be correct.
But fluency isn't just about correctness.
It's about sounding natural, choosing the right phrase, responding quickly without translating every thought in your head.
That's why someone can know a lot of grammar rules and still feel uncomfortable in conversations.
Real fluency comes from understanding patterns, tone, and natural expressions.
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That's allearsenglish.com slash f-l-u-e-n-c-y-s-c-o-r-e.
Hey, Aubrey, I have a question for you.
You ready?
All right.
Yeah, let's hear it.
So are you someone that often gets frustrated?
Do you become frustrated very easily or not so much?
Not so much.
I think I'm pretty good at it.
In fact At my daughter's basketball game last Saturday.
If ever I were going to fly off the handle and get really frustrated, it would have been then.
I guess what happened was the refs were sick and there were no backups.
So they just like someone had their neighbor's kid ref.
It was like 15 year olds who not only had never reffed before, they had never played basketball before.
So they did not know what they were doing.
They didn't know what to call.
It was crazy.
The things that were happening were crazy.
But I kept my cool.
I was kind of just like, what is happening?
And I was talking to her like trying to figure it out.
But I wasn't even that frustrated.
I just more was like entertained, what's happening?
Good, that's good when you can.
It's a sense of inner peace when you don't feel like you need to kind of explode at something like that.
Right, a lot of the parents were.
I could see parents that looked like their heads were about to explode.
They were so frustrated and i um, yeah so.
But you never know, in some situations I can definitely get more frustrated.
So luckily everyone – I felt like everyone handled it pretty well.
No one was being like unreasonable or there wasn't anything that was happening that I felt like I needed to –.
Set straight.
Makes sense.
Good.
That's good.
That's good to know.
So we're talking about this concept of becoming frustrated, becoming fed up, because there was a good question from our student Jiri, at our weekly QA.
And Aubrey, who gets to go to the weekly Q&A, by the way?
Yeah, this is for all personal coach students.
So, for those who purchase one of our courses, there's the basic level, where you get these modules and videos and our community live speaking practice, and the personal coach level.
You are able to come to this Q&A, you get teacher feedback for your lessons.
So all of the students who are in Personal Coach I see at QA every week, anyone who's able to attend, and they always have these amazing questions.
It ends up being a fantastic conversation.
Exactly.
And most of our courses, most of our main courses, our flagship courses, have a personal coach option.
You choose basic plan or you choose personal coach.
So keep your eyes open for those.
But shall we go ahead and read Jerry's question?
Aubrey, you want to read it?
Yeah, I'll share what it was.
So he said that he had heard people say, I'm done to mean they were frustrated.
And then he was asking for other ways to say this and what phrases we would use for the opposite meaning when something is going really well.
So we were able to cover them in this Q&A and I want to cover them here on the podcast as well.
Today, we'll cover the first, these ways to say you're frustrated.
And then hit follow for part two with those more positive phrases.
Yeah, I love that idea.
We're going to break it into two parts, because very different things you need for different contexts, right?
Exactly.
And there are so many of them that we say.
So I'm excited to share all of these today.
Yeah.
So the first one is I'm done.
I'm done.
A lot of context.
What are some examples here?
Yeah.
For example, they've raised the prices on us three times now.
I'm done.
So this just means you're you are no longer interested in having this issue, right?
You are probably going to cancel the service or call and complain to customer service, something like that.
That's what you mean.
You just mean I'm frustrated, but this is sort of a new trendy way to say it.
You say I'm done.
Yeah, I think a lot of people in the last couple of years have been really frustrated with price increases.
Right.
Because quality is not getting better, but prices keep going up.
So this could be a really common example right now.
Absolutely.
Or I've been on hold with customer support all morning.
I am so done.
I'm so done.
Yes.
Right.
Well, so we either say I'm done or I'm so done.
Yeah, I love that.
I love that.
Just adding a little emphasis.
Right.
Exactly.
Yeah.
And we really won't use this for something that's just no big deal.
Like the example I gave of these refs at the basketball game, I probably wouldn't have said this.
I'm done.
I'm so done.
If I said that, that would mean I was really frustrated.
I was like about to blow up at somebody.
And probably walk out the door too, right?
Or something.
I'm out of here.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm fed up is also, you know, you're at the end of your rope.
Is that an expression?
Is that a thing?
Yes.
That's a fun idiom for all of these.
When you say any of these things, you are at the end of your rope.
You're frustrated.
You have no more patience for it.
Yeah.
For example, I'm fed up with this app crashing every time I open it.
Right?
We've all been there.
Yes, that can happen.
That can happen.
Crashing computers, crashing Wi-Fi, cutting out at the worst time, right?
Things that make us really fed up.
Or she changes her mind every five minutes.
I'm fed up.
You might say this about someone you're dating if you're on the verge of breaking up.
You're fed up about something they're doing.
Sure.
Or I love this one.
I use this a lot.
I'm over it.
I'm over it, right?
I'm over this weather.
It's been raining for three days straight.
It's a creative way to say you just can't handle it anymore.
Exactly.
I say this one a lot too.
I'm over it.
I say this about my kids a lot.
Like something will be happening with their behavior.
I'm over this.
I can't handle it anymore.
I love it.
Or here's a fun one for dating.
This guy has left me on read one too many times.
I'm over it.
So that to be left on read, people have read receipts on text now.
And it shows if the text you sent has been read and they don't respond.
This is called being left on read.
So he's left me on read.
It means he read my text and hasn't responded.
Nice.
I love it.
And what is the difference between... So we've taught our listeners, I'm over it.
And then I think they've probably heard to be over a relationship or to have forgiven someone for something.
Yeah, this is interesting, right?
We also say over that to mean like I've gotten past it, I've forgiven that, like no, I'm not, I'm not upset anymore, I'm over it.
So this is really one of those tricky ones where, depending on the context, it could mean I'm fed up, I'm done, or it could move, mean I.
I'm no longer upset.
I'm past it.
I've moved on.
So tricky.
That's a really important thing to highlight.
This could have its own episode entirely because they're almost opposite meanings.
Yes.
It all depends on the tone, the context.
You can tell if someone means they're frustrated about something, or if they're no longer frustrated, they're over it, they've moved on, they're not upset anymore.
It also could be in the exact same context, quote unquote context like, let's say, I'm on the phone with customer service, right?
God, I've been on the phone with the customer service for three hours.
I'm on hold.
I'm so over this, right?
But then you get off the phone and the issue has been resolved.
And maybe your partner says, are you still upset?
No, I'm over it now.
We took care of it.
Exactly.
And you'll notice the words you are using are a little bit different, right?
I'm so over it means I'm really frustrated.
I'm over it now means I'm past it.
So their words will be slightly different, but it's more about the tone, right?
You can tell if someone means they're frustrated or not.
And the context is, of course, it's the same scenario, but the context is slightly different.
The moment is slightly different.
But that's a really high level, interesting piece there.
So keep that in mind.
Be aware that this could be used for both and don't let it trip you up.
Yeah.
I love the next one because this is everywhere.
Don't even get me started.
Yes, exactly.
Right.
So, for example, if someone asks how the traffic was, don't even get me started.
That means it was bad.
Such a fun way to respond.
Yeah, it definitely means it was bad.
It doesn't mean that they want another question or something about the traffic.
Right.
Right.
Exactly.
Which means it was terrible.
Let's talk about something else.
Yeah, yeah.
There might be a gesture.
There might be like a slamming of the keys down on the countertop, something.
In the second example, we're chatting with friends.
They change the menu again.
Don't even get me started.
Meaning I've seen this before, probably.
And I have no tolerance for this.
Yeah yeah, you're over it.
Don't even get me started.
Yeah, now this is a little old-fashioned, right?
Oh, you think I've had it up to here.
I still say this with my kids sometimes right, I've had it up to here with my kids not listening.
I might say this to my partner I was like your turn for a while.
I need a break.
Yeah yeah, yeah.
Or she's constantly late.
I've had it up to here.
Now, literally, what are we saying here?
Is it like I've had it like as a physical height thing or what?
Like, no, yeah, it's just it's very idiomatic, right?
Like if you imagine that your patience level goes to a certain place.
And so, you know, your frustration level.
And if you've got it up to here, it means it's peaked out.
Right.
Yes.
I've had it up to here, meaning I am frustrated.
I can't handle anymore.
My patience is gone.
And when you use that I don't use it much anymore, but when you use it Aubrey, do you actually put your hand up like that?
Do you say, I've had it up to here or no?
Sometimes.
You definitely don't have to, but sometimes people will just be like I've had it up to here hear, but not necessarily.
You might say this on the phone.
You know making any kind of a gesture, but you're just saying it's the same same meaning as these newer phrases.
I'm done.
I'm over it.
These are newer, more trendy.
You might hear them more often.
Like Lindsay said, this one's been around forever.
My parents said to me, I've had it up to here.
Yes.
Yes, for sure.
Love it.
All right, let's do a role play, Aubrey.
Here we go.
Are you ready?
Yes, I'll start us out.
All right.
Have you heard from Sam?
I'm surprised they're not here.
Yeah, they just texted.
Running late.
Oh, you're kidding.
That's the third time this week.
I know.
They probably won't have a decent excuse, just like the last few times.
I'm kind of over it.
This has been happening to me a lot lately.
I'm fed up with people not being on time.
I hear you.
And don't even get me started on how they never apologize.
Right.
You know what?
I've had it up to here with waiting around.
I'm going to take off.
So we're waiting for another friend here.
They're late.
They haven't shown and I'm fed up and I end up leaving.
Yeah.
I mean, at some point someone has to take, these are kind of fatalistic phrases, right?
Like you're at the end of your rope, you're done.
Someone has to take an action, like leave the room, go home, stop waiting for the person.
Right.
It's true.
It's going to come to a head at some point.
Exactly.
Exactly.
So to break this down for our listeners.
You said, you know, he's running late.
It's the third time this week.
And I said, he probably won't have a decent excuse.
I'm kind of over it.
Right.
Yeah.
So clearly this is a pattern of behavior, like just like the last few times.
I'm kind of over it.
And you can see how kind of. softens it here.
If you said, I'm over it, that's much more extreme.
I'm done.
I'm really mad.
To add that kind of, I'm kind of over it.
Yeah, it softens it, right?
It's like pretty much over it.
Maybe I can have a little tolerance, a little more tolerance.
Right.
But I'm clearly more fed up.
I say I'm fed up with people not being on time.
It's clearly not just them for me.
I've had other people also not being on time.
So this is the last straw for me.
Last straw.
Yeah.
And this tells you how important being on time is in American culture most of the time.
Right.
And you say and don't even get me started on how they never apologize.
Right.
So you're clearly in the same boat where people have been late and they're not apologizing.
They don't feel bad.
So it's making us more frustrated about it.
Exactly.
And then you said, you know what?
I've had it up to here with waiting around.
I'm going to take off.
So you're actually leaving.
You are not going to wait around for Sam.
Yeah.
Maybe we're at a bar happy hour or something.
And so you could stay and wait for Sam if you want, but I'm out of here.
Nice.
Good one.
Yeah, it's important to be on time.
This is one of the things that people might respond with these phrases if you are repeatedly late, not explaining, not having a good reason,
Absolutely.
At some point, they're going to be fed up.
Yep, for sure.
For sure.
What's another episode our listeners could go to?
Yeah.
If you missed it, scroll up and check out episode 2610, Walk or Work?
Three Pronunciation Mistakes to Avoid with Dave Nichols.
This was an amazing interview with Dave with some pronunciation errors you might be making.
So definitely scroll up if you missed it.
Awesome.
Really good stuff.
And for a takeaway today, a big part of connection is showing when you are...
I keep on wanting to use that idiom end of your rope but it feels so appropriate, even though we didn't officially teach it right.
Showing when you are just done, you're done, right?
You can't handle something anymore.
This is connection two, okay?
Absolutely.
Yes.
Don't bottle it up and just build resentment.
Share it.
Express it.
You can also have a conversation sharing this, that you are fed up, that you're over something.
And of course we don't want to dwell on the negative all the time, but you should be able to express it.
And if it is someone's late all the time, someone's frustrated, talk it out with them.
Maybe it'll make a difference.
Yeah, you need to show people your limits.
People like to see variety, like a dynamic personality.
Like you can't just always be happy all the time and okay with everything, right?
We're not going to be pushovers.
When something really triggers you and it hits your limit, say that.
Don't be afraid to say that, right?
You're putting down limits and saying what your boundaries are.
Okay.
Exactly.
I agree.
Those are my favorite kind of people who are more honest with their emotions.
They get upset sometimes.
They tell me when they're over something.
Yeah.
I want to be around people who are honest and open with their emotions whenever possible.
Yep.
Easier to connect with those people.
Right, Aubrey?
Yes, definitely.
All right.
Good stuff.
You have a good rest of your day, Aubrey.
I'll see you back here on the show very soon.
All right.
See you next time.
All right.
Bye.
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