This is an All Ears English podcast episode 2612.
I'm up for it if you are.
How to recruit your friends to join you at social events.
Welcome to the All Ears English podcast, downloaded more than 200 million times.
Are you feeling stuck with your English?
We'll show you how to become fearless and fluent by focusing on connection, not perfection. with your American hosts, Lindsay McMahon, the English adventurer, and Michelle Kaplan, the New York radio girl, coming to you from Colorado and New York City, USA. and to get your transcripts delivered by email every week go to allearsenglish.com forward slash subscribe when you are invited to an event how can you say to your friend that you want to go only if they go Today, build this key connection skill to enjoy the event alongside good friends.
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Hey there, Michelle.
How you doing?
I'm good.
Lindsay, how are you?
Good.
Busy, busy, but all good.
Yeah.
Where are we starting today on the show?
Yeah.
So Lindsay, do you ever decide whether or not to go to an event based on if your friends are going?
For sure.
Yeah.
Because events are always more fun if your friends are actually going, right?
Yes.
Yes, absolutely.
Yeah, definitely.
So today we are going to talk about what to say to your friend, to show kind of solidarity in attending the same event.
And this happened to me recently because there was a dinner, a formal dinner, that we were invited to.
And it was something we had to pay for.
And we were trying to decide if we wanted to pay for it.
And it was kind of like a lot more than we were hoping to spend.
But so I was in touch with my friend and we both realized that we we only really wanted to go if the, if the other person was going.
So that makes sense.
Yeah.
Right.
Yeah.
So what did I say to my friend?
I said, I'll go if you go.
You're kind of making a deal here, right?
Exactly.
Exactly.
So that's really what the episode is about for today.
What was interesting is I realized I didn't say, I'll go if you'll go.
So I thought that was interesting, that I'm not, it wasn't really and maybe about the grammar here, right?
Yeah, it's more of a chunk, right?
An idiomatic chunk.
Yeah.
I'll go if I guess you could say that you could technically say I'll go if you'll go.
Right.
That would just be a different chunk.
Right.
So these are just idiomatic pieces of language.
Okay.
Exactly.
Right.
I think that's a good way to think about it.
So we're going to talk more about this in just a second, but we want to remind you guys to hit the follow button now, or if you're listening to All Ears English, so you never miss anything.
You got it.
And so, yeah, I mean, I say this for sure.
This is a good way to be direct.
Um, and just make it clear that you only want to go to this event if that other person is going to go to.
Right.
Right.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Um, so Lindsay, who might you say this to?
I mean, friends, family, maybe close coworkers, generally someone that you're closer with.
It's not really meant for a stranger or.
No.
It's someone that you actually want to see there that would enhance the event.
Right, exactly.
So I felt, oh, you know, I'm trying to make this decision based on budgeting.
And I felt that, okay, it will be worth it to me.
But if I get to spend time with this group of friends.
And yeah, I also wonder if there's a cultural piece to this.
You know perhaps about going to certain things on your own or with friends, and you know making decisions based off of that.
So I'm curious, like, how that is around the world.
Yeah.
Have you ever gone to a movie by yourself, Michelle?
No.
Have you?
Yeah.
I don't think I have actually, though.
I've like thought about it.
I would.
I mean yeah, but if I really wanted to.
But I don't really find too many situations where Actually, I was talking to a friend who does go to movies by himself.
Because if he has random days off during the week, I guess if you're like a movie buff and you really care about a certain movie and you can go, you know.
So if it's more about the movie and less about an evening out right yeah, exactly.
Um, so yeah again.
If for me it wasn't about confidence, it was just about money um, so let's show how this would look.
Okay, All right, so are you going to the party?
It's so late.
I know.
It could be good, though.
Okay, I'll go if you go.
Okay, let's do it.
So you make a deal together, and you're both going to go.
Agree to go.
Nice.
Yes, exactly.
Lindsay, could you also say, if you go, I'll go?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think so.
Yep.
So you can mix this up as well.
For sure.
Yeah, absolutely.
So again, this is just a way of creating a bit of a social contract with your friend, making an agreement, making an event more enjoyable, making it worth it.
Right, Michelle?
Right, exactly.
Yep.
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So other things we could say to communicate the same idea.
It also doesn't have to be necessarily about specific events.
Right, Michelle?
Right.
So we're going to give more examples here.
What's the first one?
Okay.
I'm in if you're in, or you can switch it up.
If you're in, I'm in.
I like this expression.
I'm in.
I'm in.
Yeah.
It's just, yeah, you're going to do it.
Right.
So I just don't feel like exercising.
I'm so tired, but there's a class tonight.
Ooh, I do love the classes.
Okay.
I'm in if you're in.
Nice.
Nice.
Yeah.
Exercise classes always make it easier because you have to do what the teacher says rather than just dragging yourself to the gym and trying to get on the treadmill.
I think
Yeah.
Oh no, that's my favorite.
I don't get to go to too many of them, but I love It really feels different.
It's much easier to motivate yourself when other people are doing something.
Oh, for sure.
And another way you might say it is I'm up for it if you are.
Or if you're up for it, I'm up for it.
Or if you're up for it, I am too.
Right?
Is another way you might say that.
Right?
Yeah.
Right.
Right.
Yeah.
Are you up for going to that cooking class?
I'm up for it if you are.
Okay.
So the context here is that we've probably already talked about the cooking class.
We've kind of mulled it over, like threw out the idea a few times, tossed it around.
Right, but we never made the actual decision if we were going to go.
Exactly.
I think the thing that we... Meek, we could do a whole episode on this.
One kind of faux pas, I think, which could give people the wrong impression is if someone invites you to something and you say, oh well, who's going?
Oh, that's a really good point, Michelle.
I'm glad you said that.
This should be another episode.
Yeah, let's do that.
Let's make sure our listeners hit the follow button now so we get that, because that could be culturally different.
Around the world.
I actually don't know if it's a faux pas around the world in different cultures, but it is in the US.
For sure.
It could be very insulting.
Yeah.
Okay, we're going to do another episode on that because, yeah, that is a what not to say.
What not to say.
And we'll refer back to this one because this is not the same thing.
This is doing your work in the background, right?
You're not talking to the host of the event right now and there's no one that's going to be offended.
It's just your friend was invited, maybe you were invited, and you're deciding...
Like you're finding out if they're going right.
Yes.
Yes.
If they're going.
So it's different.
But yeah, this is just a great way here to connect by showing someone that they're important to you.
Right.
It shows a certain closeness.
I'll be motivated to do X, Y, Z if you are.
So I think that it can it can kind of connect you in that way.
Yeah, I totally agree.
So in this role play we you and I are both invited to a wedding and trying to decide if we want to stay at the hotel.
Yeah.
So attending a wedding can sometimes you get these invites and you're just not quite sure.
Like you, know the people, you want to support them.
But it is expensive to go to a wedding.
It's very expensive.
And then if, on top of it, it's not near you and people are going to.
I mean, if a wedding is like, what's tough is is if it's kind of close to you and not that you know.
So maybe it's an hour away, an hour and a half away.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Although weddings are so fun to attend.
Don't you think?
Oh, I love, I love going to weddings, but um Yeah, it's that deciding about the hotel.
That's good sometimes.
The hotel decision.
All right, here we go.
All right, you start it off, Michelle.
All right.
It's kind of expensive.
I know.
I hear there'll be an after party and a brunch the next day, though.
Oh, that does sound fun.
I'll go if you go.
All right.
Sounds good.
What about the party bus?
I guess it's easier than driving ourselves.
Alright, I'm up for it if you are.
Okay.
That's common in American culture to the couple hosting the wedding would book a bus to transport their guests.
If there's, if there's an after party, if there's a hotel or something.
Right.
Because people do drink a lot at weddings.
And I know at our wedding, people drank a lot and people were not driving.
Yes, exactly.
So good way to stay safe.
So, all right.
So we're talking about if we want to stay.
And you said.
I hear there will be an after party and a brunch the next day, though which I like what you added on.
And I said, that does sound fun.
And you said, I'll go if you go.
Yeah.
So that's a reason to stay at the hotel, because there's going to be an after party and there's going to be a brunch the next day.
Right?
Yeah.
I'm up for it if you are.
Perfect.
Nice.
So again, this shows I mean, this is truly a connection skill, because it shows the other person that they matter to you.
Right?
Yeah, absolutely.
So it's, I think it is a huge connection skill.
It's just saying you matter to me.
You make a difference in my decisions.
You know, let's motivate each other for whatever it is.
Yeah.
And again it's important to reiterate this is only a conversation going on between you and another guest that's been invited.
That's a friend of yours, not the host.
Yes, guys.
So definitely hit follow because we'll be talking about that other situation another time.
Yes, for sure.
We don't want to break any.
Cultural faux pas, right?
So guys, go to 2587.
Your personality has entered the chat.
This was really cool.
I think I did this one with Aubrey, right?
No, that was me.
No, you and I did this one.
This was so fun because I didn't know a lot about the phrase enter the chat.
But I learned, and so did our listeners right alongside.
It was a fun one.
Very trendy, very trendy expression.
Really fun.
So guys, go check it out.
Make sure you're following the show so you don't miss a single episode of our podcast.
All right, Michelle, that will call it a day at this point.
And you have a good rest of your day.
All right.
All right, you too.
Bye, Lindsay.
Okay, bye.
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