This is an All Ears English podcast episode 2457.
Can you relate? How to speak up with confidence in a meeting.
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Today, get a smart piggybacking strategy when you want to speak up in a group but you feel hesitant.
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Hey, Michelle, how are you doing today? Good.
Lindsay, how are you? Really good. Michelle, did you you were in graduate school, right?
You did your graduate degree. Yeah. Yes.
And teaching English as a second language.
And yeah, there's there's a lot of group discussions that happen in graduate school.
A lot of talking. Right, Lindsay? You I mean, you also went to graduate school.
Yep. And my program was in Boston. It was a small program.
I think there were like 17 people in the entire program.
And most of the discussions, you know, you'd have your reading, which I was shocked how much reading there was in graduate school.
You'd have your reading, and then in the classes, you would have a group, a class-wide discussion, people chiming in on their thoughts, their critiques.
And then, you know, you'd go around the room kind of popcorn style, but what is the key piece here for our listeners to be successful in this kind of discussion, Michelle?
Right. To be able to connect ideas, to link things together, I think is such a huge piece of this.
So that's what we're going to talk about today is this skill that's super important for group discussions.
And again, this could be in graduate school, any other type of school work.
I mean, for example, we have this idea came from Open Conversation Club, right?
That is a conversation group. Yeah, I was so excited that this idea came to my head because, well, when our students, when anyone joins our courses, you're automatically invited to open conversation club twice a week.
You get to come join the group. We speak in small groups.
We speak in the main room, the large group, speak with me, speak in the hot seat sometimes with Aubrey, whoever's running the call will be able to speak.
But one of the key pieces that I noticed that one amazing student did that one time was she linked what she was saying. to what the person before her had said.
So I always ask people to report out on what they've said in their groups and she actually linked to what the person before her said, which is high level and was something new that I hadn't seen before.
That's really great. Yeah. So guys, this is, that is impressive.
It helps with connection. I mean, this is huge.
So we're going to teach you how to do it today in your own group conversations, wherever they may be.
And yeah, it just really connects things, make them sound smooth.
It also shows that you're listening, which people like.
People want to be heard. And they want to be heard.
And just to take it even one level further, I think it shows respect for your classmates.
And again, your workmates too in a meeting, right?
I think it shows respect for whoever has just... added something like think about how you feel when the next person you've said something and then maybe you're maybe you're a little self-conscious about what you've said you're not sure if it was good then the next person who speaks says you know just piggybacking off of what Michelle said you know I can add XYZ that validates what you I was gonna say the word validate yeah exactly it gives you a little ego boost feels like it can be hard to put yourself in there out there in classroom discussions.
I've definitely felt that I've definitely held.
I'm, it's funny because I'm, I love talking to people and I love people, but there's something about that classroom setting that sometimes gets me, especially sometimes I feel that people like to hear themselves.
Oh yeah. Yes, Michelle. I totally get you.
And, and, and, Yeah. Yeah. And that's, there's a lot we could say there about American culture and it's not always the one who is the most verbal or vocal that is saying the best things or the most valuable things.
And that goes into also like a class participation discussion because sometimes there's like a class participation grade and they want everyone participating.
Yeah. Yeah. That's an interest, whole other discussion.
Yep. I struggled with this as well in graduate school because there were those key players that were always talking.
Like I said, they weren't always necessarily the most valuable contributions, but they like to hear themselves talk.
They're just speaking. Then there were others that had a lot to say, but maybe spoke less.
I also sometimes struggled to speak up in these discussions.
Believe it or not, we've talked many hours on this podcast, but in graduate school, for me, it was a little triggering at times.
I had the same experience. Yep. We understand our listeners in that case, right?
Completely understand them. So today we're going to give you the expressions to do that, to validate who has just spoken.
So you hope that maybe they will connect your idea to their idea.
Someone else in the future just makes you a better communicator.
Right. Right. I think it also could give you some of that confidence to speak up if you have these tools.
OK, I'm going to connect it to somebody.
I'm going to, you know, I'm going to show that I was listening.
I think it can give you that confidence and make you feel a little bit more prepared to start speaking up.
Yeah, it's not totally out of the blue, right?
It's kind of like what I'm saying is not going to be totally unexpected or crazy because it's connected to what this other person said, right?
Because it does give you a bit of that confidence edge.
Okay. I think our listeners understand the why.
Let's get into it, Michelle. Yeah. Okay.
I love this one. Piggybacking on that or to piggyback on that.
What in the world, Lindsay? Yeah. Yeah, I know.
Right. I mean, so when you give someone a piggyback ride, right, they get on your back and you walk around sometimes with your kids or with a friend or maybe there's like a field day and you're doing piggyback races or something in the field.
But literally, we're taking that concept and we're putting that into I'm piling my idea on top of what someone else said.
Right. What's a sample sentence, Michelle?
So here's a couple. So the first one is piggybacking on that.
I also think we need to look into our sales for Q3 to make this decision.
And I think even I could be making this up, but I feel like even in our team syncs, Michelle, I've heard you say this, right?
To chime in on, you know, when someone else has shared an idea because our team syncs are kind of popcorn style.
What comes to mind? What strategic ideas do we have?
Right. Definitely. Or what's another sample?
Just to piggyback on what Chelsea said, the second paragraph is looking a little skimpy.
Yeah, and and here we're adding just to piggyback on so the phrase is just to piggyback on what someone said Yeah, right.
So even saying the name I think is also just very powerful how Totally.
Yeah. Yeah. Oh, it's another way to do it Yeah, so this one is I can add to that or you could say like I could like like I can add to what?
Mm-hmm. Someone is saying okay. So for example, I
I can add to that. We have had really good progress, but we need to focus on customer attrition.
And this really is very appropriate because the reality is hopefully a discussion is not just these random siloed ideas that are not related to each other at all.
If they are, we're doing something wrong.
The facilitator is doing something wrong.
And so you want your ideas to be cohesive and furthering others' ideas.
So you come to some kind of a decision or conclusion or an insight as a group, right?
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Exclusions apply. See details online. Okay, Michelle, those are not the only ones we can use.
Those are not the only ones. We have two more options.
I hope our listeners are writing this down.
I think this is going to be very powerful today.
What's the next one? Extending from what Blank said, so what the person said.
So extending from what Lindsay said, we always want to keep our listeners top of mind.
That's why we have found new ways to interact with them.
Yeah, perfect. A little wordy, right? But it gets the job done, right?
And it gives you what we're looking for is that little boost of confidence.
It's kind of like we're giving ourselves permission to speak.
Right. Yes, I love that. And do we have one more?
Yes. I have had a similar experience or I've been in a similar situation or I can relate.
And this is kind of when maybe we're telling personal stories.
Yes. Right. So I've had a similar experience.
So I agree that it is something we should pay attention to.
Love it. Or I can relate to what Lindsay said.
It's crucial to avoid the trap of spending too much on marketing.
Yeah. Michelle, which is your favorite here?
Which is the one that you relied on in grad school to get yourself ideas out there?
I think the piggyback. Yeah. Yeah. What about you?
Yeah, that was a big one. I always thought it was sort of silly, but it is.
It is useful. It's useful and it is heavily used, right?
Yes. Very much so. I would often say just to add to what and we kind of have a hybrid of that today that we've taught our listeners.
But I would often say, you know, just to add to what Cassidy said.
Yes. X, Y, Z. And then give my contribution.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right. So we are going to do two role plays.
OK. Two different scenarios. So one is more of a school and one is more business.
So here in the first one, we are working on a class project.
And we are meeting with our group. Okay.
Yeah, and this could be in a like we said before a large group discussion with 10 or 12 people or it could be in a very small group of four or three, right?
Okay, here we go. So if we highlight this point here on the first page, I think we would be in great shape.
Yes, and piggybacking on that, there are a ton of areas we should be revisiting.
Oh, yeah, true. I can add to that. I think we do need to spend some more time on this.
Yeah. And again, it's not something we have to do every time we speak up in a group.
Maybe we do it the first time and then you feel a bit more free and the ideas are free flowing.
It's just an option as a little bit of a, I wouldn't say a crutch, but a bit of a intro to what you're going to say.
Okay. Right. Yeah. It gives a little bit of It just adds a little extra something.
It also is one of those, we talk a lot about kind of preparing the listener.
We've talked about that recently even. So you're preparing someone, oh, this is gonna be connecting to that other thing that somebody said, right?
Yeah, I love this. So good. This is so good.
All right. What about in the workplace, Michelle?
In the workplace, here we are hiring managers.
All right. I just wouldn't wanna get ourselves into a situation where our hire isn't who we were looking for. yeah i can relate my department made a terrible hire last year and it cost us a lot of stress and money oh wow so extending from what michelle said this is really important and we shouldn't take it lightly and i would what are your thoughts michelle on how many people need to be in the group to say this do you think this can be done with just a group of two So I think in this one, I'm imagining that we do have at least another person in there.
Yeah. Cause I said, yeah. So I'm imagining you said one thing and then I'm saying I can relate.
And then you are kind of summing it up for the group or adding a little something for the group.
But no, I don't know. You can't use this with, I mean, you can use, okay.
I would say you can use, I can relate. I can add to that.
Um, piggybacking, I think kind of piggybacking.
Yeah, I think we can, but yeah, I don't want to in a one on one meeting, let's say a zoom meeting, you can use it and, and it would serve its purpose.
But I, I think that there's more use for it in a larger group, like three or more.
I agree. Yeah, I do worry. And it's especially useful in a Zoom call like the OCC group because, I don't know, I think we're all kind of in our little squares.
You know, we're all over the world. We're trying to connect.
So any additional thing you can do to show that connection is huge.
Yeah. Like, you know, just to show you weren't on another tab in the browser reading the news when that person was speaking.
Right. Right. Yeah, that is true. To show that you were paying attention, you care what the other person says and you're giving them that little confidence boost.
Hey, I see you. I think what you're saying is valuable.
And I, you know. So that, I mean, that can't hurt.
That's good stuff. Yeah, let's go through these role plays, Michelle, and see what we used.
So piggybacking, I love it. Yeah, it's really common.
So I said, if we highlight this point, I think we would be in great shape.
And you said... Did we not do this one?
Did we not go? Did we? I don't think we did.
We did. Maybe guys, if we did it already.
Here we go. Yeah, we did. Oh, no, you might be right.
OK, so then you then I said, yeah, piggybacking on that, there are a ton of areas we should be revisiting.
Yes, exactly. And then he said, yes, true.
I can add to that. Right. Another way. And then real quickly, we'll go through in the second one.
You said I can relate. Right. I made a statement and you said I can relate. right?
Then you said something that is related.
And then you said to the group, you said, wow.
So extending from what Michelle said, this is really important and we shouldn't take it lightly.
Yeah. I love this episode. I love how many advantages this will give our listeners.
Yeah. I think this is like a hidden gem.
I can't believe we haven't done an episode on this yet, but we did it and it's fantastic.
Guys, this is going to be in your top 20 most valuable episodes of All Ears English.
Okay. Love it. And if you want to listen to another awesome episode.
Here it is. 2435 is called. This is an awesome episode.
Take our word for it. So it's right there in the title.
I love it. And the takeaway here is this can connect what you're saying to what someone said before, not only to respect the people in your group that you're speaking to at work or in graduate school. or, but also to give yourself a confidence boost to kind of validate for yourself that it's okay to speak.
It's okay if you need that, right? It's human if you need a bit of that confidence boost, right?
Exactly. I love it. All right, Lindsay. Well, I'm so glad that you came to me with this idea today and that we can talk about it.
Guys, and thank you so much for listening.
All right. Sounds good, Michelle. Talk to you soon.
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