This is an All Ears English Podcast, Episode 2347, when good for you is bad for you.
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We'll show you how to become fearless and fluent by focusing on connection, not perfection with your American host, Aubrey Carter, the IELTS whiz.
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Do you ever use the phrase good for you?
Did you know that sometimes this phrase can backfire because native speakers might think it's sarcastic?
Today, learn everything you need to know about two distinct ways to deliver this phrase.
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hey there aubrey what's shaking not much how are you good i'm feeling great but i have a question for you to start off today all right so what's something that you crossed off your to -do list today oh right before recording i cleaned off our laundry room counter it's kind of a catch -all where i will throw
like sweatshirts and some gifts from a recent party and returns anything that needs to be returned goes there and books and so it had become a hot mess and my partner was like could you please because all of it was my stuff mostly sure he doesn't know where to put stuff so he asked me and I did I got
it done well good for you way to be productive Aubrey yes that feels good doesn't it it does feel good I like to be productive and sometimes I'm not as much so it does it feels good to check something off of a list get something done that has been building up Right.
Because sometimes it's just easier just to do it rather than keep looking at it and thinking, I have to do it, I have to do it.
That can be more stressful.
Absolutely. But I love that you responded with, good for you, way to be productive.
What a great response when someone lets you know something, they accomplish something great.
This can be such a positive way to respond, but we got a great listener question about this because it can also be sarcastic and kind of mean.
Right. So much of it depends on the tone of voice.
So that's why I made sure to say good for you right so it's a very positive cheery tone of voice but we're gonna get into this today this phrase which is so common in American English yes and there is a common mistake here where you could accidentally sound sarcastic when you don't mean to you mean to
be sincere so we'll share examples with both and we're going to give you some options if you want to just avoid the possibility of someone misunderstanding you that you can use instead i love it all right so i'm going to go ahead and read the listener question and then we're going to get to our answer
for our listeners here we go so our listener here jorge says on my very first day at cal state university just walking around the campus with my new classmates and one of them told me something he had accomplished and then i go good for you immediately his face and body language changed and he seemed
upset by what i had said i was surprised because i was telling him i was happy for what he had done so i didn't know why he was reacting that way days later i understood the reason why in the us depending on the tone of your voice good for you can mean i'm not interested at all that is your problem
i do not care so it was a complete misunderstanding and i was so worried about it since i wanted to become friends of this nice classmate common mistake right aubrey yes absolutely and jorge is exactly right I have heard it this way I use it this way it's very common the exact same words we use two
very different ways right if my car is like falling apart and someone gets a brand new car and is like bragging about it I'd probably be like good for you yeah I mean like I'm actually jealous and not that thrilled that like yeah you have this fancy car and I'm still driving right falling and you're
also signaling that you shouldn't brag like that or something like that yeah a little bit that like can you stop bragging about something that's not great for me right yeah there there are literally two completely different meanings to this phrase right and it couldn't get more different so we're going
to make sure our listeners never make this mistake to not have this moment of disconnection right um we want to make sure we're in connection but first aubrey i'd like to yell out a couple of listener reviewer names because we love our reviewers yeah yes let's hear every single review we are grateful
we read these often they have really nice compliments and we appreciate that yeah i mean they're very meaningful we know you guys are out there listening to us you're listening every day but we're here working hard for you and we want to hear from you what do you think about the show how is it helping
you so special shout out to gold naz from the us on december 30th a five -star review there aubry um a special thank you to someone in china on December 28th, also a five -star review.
A special thank you to Claire Yin in Taiwan on December 26th and another listener in Taiwan on December 19th, as well as Matthias Mayor on December 18th.
Amazing reviews here, Aubrey.
So exciting. Thank you so much, everyone who reviewed the podcast.
We love that you are appreciating the way we teach our focus on connection, not perfection, and that you took the time to review because not only is it very meaningful for us, but it also helps others find our show.
So that helps build our community, which is fantastic.
Yeah. So go ahead. If you want to hear your name announced out loud on the show, go ahead and leave a review wherever you listen, on the app, in the podcast, in Spotify.
You can leave a comment on YouTube.
These are all good ways to do it.
All right. Absolutely.
Awesome. Well, let's dive into this vocab.
Okay. As we that it's used two very different ways.
It depends on the context and your tone.
So first, let's talk about when we're being sincere, like at the top of the episode, when you're like, good for you, way to be productive.
That is the sincere way to use this.
You really are very happy for them.
You're sort of congratulating them for something.
Maybe your friend wins the lottery.
You might be like, I heard you won the lottery.
Good for you. There's no chance that I'm being sarcastic or not very happy for them.
And it could be. Someone wins the lottery.
I haven't won the lottery.
I could say that sarcastically.
So tone is very important.
Tone really matters.
When both answers would work and be suitable and make sense, you really have to be especially careful.
How would that sound if I won the lottery and you're not really happy for me?
Maybe I'm really bragging about it.
How would that sound sarcastically?
I might say something like, like, oh, good for you, right?
Exactly. You can hear how the tone is more annoyed, right?
Oh, I heard you won the lottery.
Good for you. You're almost annoyed by their presence, right?
Totally. And it probably would be more about them bragging about it because I would be happy for someone if they won the lottery, but if they're like really being obnoxious about it, then I might say this.
Yeah, if they keep talking about it every time you see them and oh, I'm not sure what I'm going to do with my winnings.
Good for you. Right.
So it's all about tone of voice.
Yeah. Any other examples here?
Yeah. Let's do another example here of sincere.
This is often at work when someone is sharing an accomplishment, a success, you might say this, right?
Maybe I can tell you worked really hard on this project.
Good for you. And it's very much like congratulations.
Well done. Yeah. And that's a good connection strategy.
If you're at all worried that you're not going to punched the intonation correctly, you could add another phrase like that.
Oh, I can tell you worked really hard.
Good for you, right?
So you're adding more context.
Exactly, or another phrase after, right?
Good for you. I know that's amazing.
Something that makes it clear that you aren't being sarcastic, especially now that you know that this phrase can be used sarcastically and there's a good chance of misunderstanding.
The more, like Lindsay said, the more you sort of add to make your meaning clear, the better.
This is such an important episode because it is a very common phrase and we need to know what are the liabilities here, right?
Exactly. Okay, Aubrey.
Okay, let's flip over now into the opposite meaning, which is sarcastic.
Let's talk again about when we might use this, if we're jealous of them, right?
Exactly. You say this when you're not really happy for them or you're jealous or it implies maybe you're not having the same good fortune right for some reason you are not really happy so it's pure sarcasm i would also say it could also just be you're just totally disinterested like you you're just
good for you right i don't know sometimes where you just you have to say something to respond do you use it in that way aubrey or is it just when you're jealous and you're trying to be sarcastic that's a good point i i certainly hear it that way as well right if someone's just like talking forever about what they've
got going on or whatever and i sort of zone out maybe i pick up my phone i might be like good for you you're totally just disconnected you're sort of sending a signal to them that like they aren't really being inappropriate in their level of bragging or yeah that's just going to be a flatter delivery
of the pronunciation so the sarcastic one is flatter too but it might be slightly different but today we'll just we'll focus more on the sarcasm here right the jealousy Yeah.
It is kind of flatter that like, oh, good for you.
I'm still like, I'm not really that happy for you.
Or I would be, you know, emphasizing it more.
Good for you. I'm happy for you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so for example, you've been single a long time and someone tells you they're happily dating someone, right?
You're a little jealous.
You can't help, but feel jealous.
And you might even say it playfully, right?
They're telling you they're so excited to be like, good for you.
Yeah. But you're really saying like, awesome.
I'm still single. Right.
Yeah. You could still hear that hint of sarcasm in there.
It's subtle, but it's in there.
Or maybe you're out of work and someone tells you about their job or their promotion.
Obviously, people should be a little less tone deaf when they share things.
Do you know what I mean?
They should be smarter who they're sharing things with, how they're sharing things.
And it does depend on the relationship, right?
Because if you don't know someone well and they tell you about it, they got a job or a promotion, this probably it wouldn't really be appropriate to be like, good for you.
But if it's your best friend or a family member, you know, you're probably still excited for them and you might be sincere and genuine.
But if they know you're out of work for a while and you have like bragged a lot, then they might be like, good for you.
Meanwhile, I've gone to a hundred interviews and haven't heard back.
Yeah. Because you know that they know that you're struggling in some way and then they're still sharing this thing.
And so it's hard to respond in a positive way to that sometimes.
So we show that sarcasm, right?
Exactly. And we want to share these options because this is a little difficult that intonation, hopefully you're hearing the difference in our voices.
It is quite pronounced to be like, good for you.
We're drying out the words when we're sarcastic.
But just like in Jorge's example, there is a chance that you don't intend it, that you say good for you, and they assume you're being sarcastic when you're not.
Because these exact words are used both ways, you might want to just avoid either.
And there are other options.
If you want to make sure someone knows you're being sincere, or like Lindsay was saying, add one of these.
You could say good for you and then add what would be some options.
Okay. So you could add, I'm happy for you, right good for you i'm happy for you right so that leaves no question in their mind that you're supporting them right exactly you would never be like good for you i'm happy for you no that's not what we that would just be strange right if you're gonna add this like
good for you i'm happy for you then they know you're being sincere exactly or you could say so happy to hear it and this one's very native and natural right how good for you so happy to hear it again yeah and we often remove i'm there right we just removed the subject and verb so happy to hear it for sure
and what's another one aubrea the simplest one we could do or just to say congratulations right good for you congratulations or eliminate good for you and whatever it is they're telling you oh congratulations that's awesome yeah if you're still worried after this episode and you want to spend a few
maybe a few months just listening for this the differences here listening to native speakers before you utilize these two ways of using it just try these in the meantime these phrases we're giving you now and then when you're ready you can add in the different variation of good -for -you yeah absolutely
you're probably going to start hearing it on podcasts on tv shows because we do use it a lot so listen to the intonation listen to the difference to start recognizing it I love it all right Aubrey it is roleplay time such an important time for a roleplay when it comes to these two really different ways
of delivering this yeah absolutely yes all right we're all right I'll start us out oh yeah we're talking about our dogs in this one love that we got a new puppy it's so cute ah good for you i bet your kids are so excited they are they've always wanted a dog puppies are a lot of work though it's nice
that keifer is trained and has never had accents never has accidents anymore good for you this puppy has accidents constantly so i know i should know as a dog owner that you're struggling with accidents right now because you just got a puppy right?
I should know that already.
And I'm rubbing in the fact that Kiefer never has accidents.
And that's not very good social skills, number one.
But we do sometimes forget, like we're removed, like this will happen.
It happens to all of us, right?
That we might accidentally brag in air quotes about something that someone else is actually struggling.
And this is a perfect way to use this where we're close.
We're talking about our dogs.
We have a good relationship this is a perfect response good for you yeah and hopefully i catch the tone there right my next response would be like oh you know then you know he'll get through it your puppy will get through it i promise some kind of encouragement totally you might even be like oh yeah
my bad i forgot how tough puppies are or something like that yes oh my gosh i i absolutely know this has happened this does happen so let's go through it aubry so the first one was positive right?
Because I'm really excited that you got a puppy.
You said, we got a new puppy.
It's so cute. Good for you.
I bet your kids are so excited.
Exactly. Yes. And adding that, I bet your kids are so excited eliminates any chance of misunderstanding.
Yes. Because there could be a chance, like, we got a new puppy.
It's so cute. Good for you.
Maybe you've wanted a puppy forever and haven't been able to get.
There is a chance that you would have a reason to use that sarcastically.
But when you add this other phrase, I bet your kids are so excited, that eliminates that possibility.
So smart for connection, right?
Just reinforce the connection, avoid any misunderstandings like what Jorge had.
And then Aubrey, I said, puppies are a lot of work though.
It's so nice that Kiefer is trained and never has accidents anymore.
And then I use the sarcastic version.
Good for you. This puppy has accidents constantly.
And the tone is very different.
We're drawing out the words.
We're changing. We're adding that obvious sarcasm yeah you're definitely drawing out the words you're speaking a little slower um it feels very different okay sounds very different right and so hopefully you will be able to start like changing your tone to making it clear but better safe than sorry
add something else that makes it clear that you do really feel happy for them when you want to be sincere love it we do have another episode we want to send you all to before we do our takeaway for today that is episode 2333 vocabulary that is worth the trouble aubrey this was a good one because the word
worth comes up a lot is something worth it yeah totally we got this great question from a student about the difference between worth and worthy is it worth it so that's another great vocab episode just scroll up make sure you didn't miss that one check that out and what's our takeaway for today where we
do we want to leave our listeners yeah it is such a good connection skill to be aware of the phrases in English that are used two different ways, very different meanings so that you don't accidentally have a misunderstanding like Jorge did, right?
It's so important to know about these, avoid them if you can, or really practice the intonation to make sure that you don't break connections in English.
100 % connection is what matters.
I'm sorry to Jorge that you had this scenario, but now we're all kind of able to learn here.
And thank you for sharing it right i would say that i would recommend for our listeners you've heard the intonation differences you know from us today but give it a little time just to start listening for this and start labeling is this person genuine or are they being sarcastic genuine sarcastic once
you've heard it multiple times you can start to insert both kinds right i love that yes sometimes being observant is the best first step just start to be really be careful to not um create these misunderstandings accidentally.
Exactly. And if you love All Ears English, leave a review, guys.
We want to hear what you think about the show.
All right. Awesome.
Hey, Aubrey, we'll see you next time.
Have a good one. You too.
See you next time. Take care.
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