This is an All Ears English Podcast episode 2331, a conversation starter.
How are kids seen around the world?
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In your culture, are children seen as children or small adults?
This is profoundly different around the world and has changed throughout history.
Listen in to get the key vocabulary you need to start this conversation at a party or in life.
Hey there Michelle, how's it going today?
Good, Lindsay, I am in a new space and we're figuring it out and everything is good.
Yeah, that's fantastic.
You're in your new home.
So exciting, Michelle, to have a brand new home and decorating and all that good stuff.
And I have a question for you though.
Will you be setting up a kids table at your new home for the kids?
It's actually interesting that you bring that up because even before I was thinking about this episode, I was looking for deals on kids tables to have something just where my kids can eat and sit.
But my son is six and he's not into the idea of a kids table.
He looked at it, I showed him the pictures and he said, I don't want to sit on that.
But my daughter wants it, she's little.
So I'm going to buy that.
But I mean when you were a kid, at big family functions, do you sit at a kids table or did you sit with the adults?
No, when I was a kid we didn't have, the family functions were not so huge that there were tons of other kids.
Because we have a small family, so we would maybe go to my grandmother's house and we would all sit together because there was just one additional person at the table.
Right, right. Yeah, so that was it.
So no, no big kids table in my world.
But we know it is a thing and we're going to get into this topic, which actually speaks to something much bigger and more significant.
Yeah, Michelle. Yeah, so I'm excited about this today.
This was inspired by an article I saw, but we'll talk a little bit about the article.
But mostly we're going to talk about our own opinions, things we've observed around the world regarding kids, and also we're going to give you some good vocab.
Yeah, and the way kids are treated by adults.
You know, are they treated as kids or as adults?
I think it varies a lot around the world.
So first I want to start by saying thank you to Edison Isaac, who gave us a five star review in the Android app.
So thank you so much.
We love those reviews.
If you are listening to this podcast and Apple podcasts, Spotify, iOS or Android, leave us a review and we'll read your name out loud on the show.
All right. All right.
Thank you so much. And also before we get into it, I wanted to share results from a Spotify poll we did recently.
Episode 2311 was how to quote famous animated movies in English.
Lindsay, what was the poll for that?
Yeah, so we talked about animated movies and why they matter when we quote them.
And the question was, do you like to watch animated movies?
Yes or no. And what were the results, Michelle?
What is the profile of our audience?
Yes, you guys love it.
So for yes, we got 88 percent and no only 11 percent.
So wow. So people really love animated movies.
Interesting. I got it.
Interesting. Yeah, we get it.
We get it. All right, guys.
So let's get into this topic.
So this is from an article on Huff post .com by Taylor Tobin.
It was published on November 20th, 2024.
And it's called read this before you even think about putting someone at the kids table this holiday.
There are lots of pros and cons to consider for both the kids and the adults.
So very interesting.
This kind of, you know, caught my eye.
Yeah, it's interesting.
So I've had conversations even just in the last few weeks with parents of only children talking about how they brought their kid to maybe a holiday dinner where there were lots of adults.
And the kid just did great right talking to adults.
So sometimes when there's one child in a family.
The child can be a little bit more verbal, right, learns to use bigger words because they're basically hanging out with adults.
Right. Yeah. My mom is an only child and she always talks about how she just hung out with adults all the time.
So that is interesting.
I mean, the basic idea of this article was people have to decide if kids should have their own table or sit with the adults.
So, I mean, so I mean, as a kid, sometimes there would be a kid's table.
Yeah, sometimes it just depended on the space.
How formal was the meal?
But as a kid, I don't know how you work.
But I always, I liked being with adults.
I liked being with my mom's friends even to that day.
I feel very close to my mom's friends, like they're all other moms to me.
And I always interesting.
I if my mom were to invite me to lunch with her friends now, I would be totally going and I would just be so excited.
So I always enjoyed that.
What about you? How was your I think I was a little bit in the middle.
I really enjoyed talking to my friends, parents, and I could talk to them for sure.
But I also just liked it when it was just us kids, you know what I mean?
And we had our own space, that sort of thing.
So somewhere in the middle for sure.
But in my mind, I love this topic today for our listeners, because the table is kind of a metaphor in my mind for life.
Right. So I remember traveling in Slovenia just this past September and we went for we went for our Aperol spritzes, right?
Which is a really common drink in this summer in Italy and Slovenia, Croatia.
And we're sitting there and there's a little it's an outdoor bar with an outdoor music, lovely band playing, beautiful summer afternoon.
And there's a small playground.
But what I noticed immediately was their kids, but no adults at the playground, right?
No adults essentially, quote unquote, hovering now, not trying to make any judgments.
I'm not a parent, but I did notice the stark difference between how watched the kids are in the U .S.
Versus when I travel abroad.
Have you noticed that, Michelle?
Yes, I have. I mean, I so, you know, as a parent, I look over all this information, what you should do, what you shouldn't do, different philosophies on this and that.
And I always try with my kids to give them a little space at the playground.
I'm watching them, but I don't.
And if they were going to do anything extremely dangerous, of course, I would step in.
But what I don't want to do is stand behind them and just say, oh, be careful.
Oh, be careful. Oh, be careful.
Right. My kids are pretty big climbers.
I think they can. I mean, and they're not afraid.
And I do have friends who are very nervous, more so nervous, even my brother -in -law.
Sometimes we joke about him because he doesn't have he's like in his he just turned 30 and we always joke that he gets so much more nervous than Dan and I.
Because, you know, he's not used to it.
So it's just interesting because I want my kids to have that independence and to learn from their own mistakes.
Yeah, that's right.
And it's so if we go one level deeper into cultural differences, I think the reasons that parents might be more hands off.
And I love the expression for our listeners.
Hands off today could be that they're looking for a different value to build, to foster in their kids.
Right. I know that the value of independence in the U .S.
is so important. Right.
And I agree. It is so important for a kid to be able to do everything on their own.
But I wonder if when I go to a place like Italy and the kids are watched a little, let's say, a little more lightly, similar to what you're saying, Michelle, your style, is it for another value they're looking for in their kids?
Is it something other than independence?
Is it the freedom of the parents to like, what, what is it?
You know, it's just, oh, my God, this is fascinating.
And this translates into who our kids become.
Right. And who we become as parents.
Interesting. Yeah. Yeah.
I mean, there's all sorts of things in that.
I mean, in the U .S., there's different styles of childcare.
So yeah, some schools, it's very teacher led.
And then they throw out words like play based.
I once took a tour of.
Have you heard of a Montessori school?
Yeah. Yeah. I've heard of that.
Right. So that's kind of in my understanding, one of those where they try and make things the kids like the best size for the kids.
They give kids lots of responsibilities.
And I once took a tour of one and there were it was the cutest thing.
There was like a two year old squeegeeing the window of the day daycare to clean it.
And it was so cute.
But I was just thinking how smart that is to give kids responsibility to give them that chance.
I mean, even my daughter now, she yells at me when I try and buckle her car seat and I could do it so much faster because she wants to do it.
And she had to do it.
It's going to take longer.
But I don't want I want her to know that I believe that she can do it.
Yes. I love that. That is so and it's kind of makes me think.
I wonder what our listeners would say around the world.
What is the thing you want your kids to think culturally?
What is that value?
Like I said, we want our kids here in the U .S.
to be able to do it by themselves.
Tie your shoes by yourself.
Do this by yourself.
What is that the same around the world?
I don't think so. Right.
I think it's probably something different.
Neither is better or worse.
But I'm just curious.
Just really looks at cultural curiosity.
Right. It is very interesting.
And then, you know, at the same token, we want them to do things by themselves.
But we also there is also that hovering that hovering, you know, what the helicopter parents.
Yes. Yes. So I mean, with the kids table, you know, the article mentioned, you know, OK, a pro.
Is that kids are on their own.
They can feel that independence with their friends.
But also, it said that a pro of being with the adults is you can learn from the adults.
They can learn how to behave at the table, speaking all sorts of things.
So but but it is interesting how how cultural this is.
Yeah. Also in terms of what they're eating.
Right. So, you know, they're more likely to be served an adult meal if they're sitting with the adults, I would imagine, right.
Probably maybe right.
Therefore, expanding their taste buds earlier.
You know, if I become a parent in the future, I wonder, will I take the time to make a special kids meal or will I just say, you're eating Brussels sprouts with me?
You know, I'm going to chop them up for you, but you're going to eat them.
Yeah. In my in my experience, I had such good intentions.
And I I will never I will never make separate meals for my kids.
And it's just you go so crazy.
You're just think, oh, and then they're going to be hungry because they don't want the Brussels sprouts, right?
Yeah. Oh, it's like every every idea dream you have of how it's going to be.
It's it may be for the first year or two.
But and then no, and then it goes back to the chicken wing or the what is it?
Chicken fingers, fingers, and our good.
But there's a whole nother topic.
Right. The problems that we have with the food, the food we have in the U .S.
is so bad, right, the fried food.
And maybe there's special organic chicken tenders.
I'm not sure. But anyway, yeah.
Yeah, we could talk about I mean, that's a whole.
Yeah. Oh, I have so much to say.
But OK, we're sure.
So we're going to take a quick break and then we're going to come back and give our listeners some special vocabulary words that work, whether you have kids and you're maybe bringing your child to a party, maybe in the U .S., for example, or even if you don't have kids, you'll probably end up at a party with kids,
right? You're an aunt, you're an uncle, you're a friend.
You know, we need to know this vocabulary.
OK, so. Yes. OK, Michelle.
So let's get into some vocab that all of our listeners need to know whether their parents or not.
All right. Yes. All right.
So kids table, we've already been talking about that.
So OK. So the kids table is over there and the adults are over here.
Yeah, exactly. Exactly.
And again, we've said that the kids table could be a metaphor for how kids are treated in your culture.
And this is a great conversation starter, by the way.
If our listeners want to start a conversation with a native speaker or really with anyone from anywhere in the world, different from your country.
Ask them these questions.
Really good. Yeah. Yeah.
What else? OK, so the next one is seating arrangements.
So this is where everybody sits.
So you could say, I'm just thinking of seating arrangements for this party.
So and this leads into the next one, actually.
So we'll just do it all in one assigned seats.
Yes. Some I recently I went to a big family dinner and this person always has name cards, which is another vocabulary word for today, always where everybody should sit.
Are you ever at something where they have name cards?
Yeah, I mean, when I go to a wedding, definitely there are assigned seats most of the time.
Usually the bride and groom have spent like a year thinking about seating assignments, seating charts, things like that.
Yeah. Sometimes they'll go to a special party where the host just wants to be more intentional.
And so they will assign seats.
Right. Right. Exactly.
So, yeah, assigned seats.
So I don't think I'm going to do assigned seats.
Everyone can just sit where they want.
Yeah. Yeah, exactly.
OK, so that's one where our listeners might need if they're going to any kind of party, any kind of event with kids there or not.
We need that term. Next one is kids menu.
So I'm making a kids menu because I don't think the kids will eat my casserole.
Oh boy. Oh boy. Yeah.
And so often you go to a restaurant in the US and there will be a kid a kids menu.
Usually it's on the back right at the very end of the menu.
Usually it has like three or four items.
Mac and cheese, cheese, all the things I like to eat.
Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's just I remember when my son was a baby, I read somewhere that says, oh, try and go to restaurants that they don't have a typical kids menu and that the real food is on the kids menu or they don't have a kids menu.
Yeah. And it's just I loved that idea.
And and sometimes we'll take them to maybe an Indian restaurant or or another kind of restaurant where there isn't a kids menu.
And my son will eat naan and my daughter will eat rice.
And OK, that's all right.
But I don't know. I with the kids menu, it is kind of disappointing because they are always just eating the chicken fingers.
Yeah, for sure. My knees.
Oh, my gosh. The amount of the number of times I've seen her order Mac and cheese and she'll order Mac and cheese on top of pizza.
And I tell her, I'm right.
You're doing carbs on carbs there.
What are you doing?
This is insane. That's hilarious.
Well, she is she so my son doesn't like anything with melted cheese.
So he hates macaroni and cheese and with pizza, which we had just last night, we had to every time we get pizza, we have to scrape the cheese off of it.
That's that's just killing the pizza.
That's killing the whole point of the pizza.
Our listeners are probably freaking out right now.
I can't even what a silly man.
Yeah, I know. All right.
And the last one that our listeners want to know for some kind of event, especially around dinner parties, name cards.
So again, when there are assigned seats, you might have a name card, especially in a fancier place like a wedding.
Right. For example, right.
Let's put out name cards.
We can decorate them too.
Yeah. Interesting. OK, Michelle, should we roll into a role play here?
Just roll into all play.
I like that. Yes. All right.
Here we go. So and again, guys, this is for everyone because no matter what, whether you don't have kids or you do, you're probably going to end up at a party who where your friends bring their kids or something like that.
Right. Yes. Yes. Exactly.
Exactly. All right.
So here you are. You arrived at my party, my dinner party with your kids.
OK, here we go. So where should I sit?
OK, so kids are over there.
OK, guys, there's the kids table and adults over here.
Oh, there are assigned seats.
Yeah, I thought it would be easier to have name cards.
Oh, OK, great. What professional seating arrangements?
Thank you. Thank you.
Oh, and on the kids menu tonight is chicken fingers and fries.
Perfect. That's funny.
That's so true. Right.
It's so true. But I guess having a kids table too does let the adults kind of relax for a second.
Right. A little space.
Yeah, there's there's so many pros and cons and just they're so yeah.
You sometimes do you want to sit them with them?
Sometimes you really just want to talk to the adult.
So it all right. Oh, yes.
So many listeners are parents so they know exactly what you're saying, Michelle.
So let's break down the vocabulary we used here and then we'll finish up the episode.
So what did we say first, Michelle?
OK, so I said, OK, I don't know.
You said, OK, guys, there's the kids table.
Right. So I'm talking to the kids.
I'm pointing in the direction of that table, so I'm telling them to go over there.
And then I said, oh, there are assigned seats.
Right. So I guess I saw something on the table or something.
I don't know. Or I just I didn't know where to sit.
So I said, are there assigned seats?
Right. Right. And then I said, yeah, I thought it would just be easier to have name cards.
And then I said, oh, OK, great.
What professional seating arrangements?
Now, this is interesting for our listeners here.
The way I said this, I want to highlight this as a bonus.
And this could actually be another episode.
Another day. I said, oh, OK, great.
What professional seating arrangements?
I need to make sure we get the right intonation there.
Right. Yeah. Right.
What am I saying here?
You're saying the seating arrangements are very professional.
Mm hmm. Yeah. It makes me think of a little red riding hood.
Oh, what what big teeth you have.
What if you have right.
Right. And it's basically saying, oh, you have big teeth.
Yeah, I guess. Yeah.
That's that's a really important takeaway, not for today, but for another episode.
So guys, hit the follow button on the podcast.
We're coming back to that one for sure.
And we'll probably bring in the red riding piece as well.
So then what else, Michelle?
What'd you say next?
OK, then I said, oh, and on the kids menu tonight, it's chicken fingers and fries.
Excellent. All right.
Good. So so in this episode, we've shown our listeners some key vocabulary that they will hear pretty much if they show up to any party, especially as you get into your 30s, your 40s, your friends have kids or you're probably an aunt or an uncle.
And so this is going to come up.
Right. So key. So important to connect to parties.
Yeah. Definitely. And speaking about parties, I mean, we recently had the holidays.
So check out episode twenty three, twenty three.
How to talk about holiday magic in English.
All right. Any takeaway today, Michelle, that we should think about?
The takeaway today is we could really talk for a long time about all this stuff.
This is just a and that goes to show you how good this is for connection.
It's not just about the kids table.
As Lindsay said, it's that metaphor and the philosophies behind how do we treat kids compared to adults?
Are kids are kids kids or are they tiny adults?
Yes, yes. Go ahead, Michelle.
Sorry. And what I've heard.
I know what I've heard.
Yeah. Every time you think, oh, they're this, they're that.
Yeah, I remember seeing some Instagram posts that say, oh, no, kids aren't tiny adults.
They're kids. They have different brains.
Right. Sure. There's there's a lot to think about.
There's a lot there.
And I love I was thinking exactly why that quote, right.
Are kids kids or are they tiny adults?
Are they small adults?
And so that would be the essentially some form of that would be the way to start this conversation in your culture.
Yeah. You know, how do we look at kids?
And the truth is, though, even within American culture, this has changed over time.
Right. So if you look back to, you know, the twenty nineteen twenties, thirties, forties, fifties, I think maybe historically they have been more considered small adults.
And it's just been over the last, I don't know, maybe 30 or 40 years with research being done and things like that.
I mean, my mom was a child psychologist.
I was just thinking about that.
Yeah. And so any and then there's been backlashes against that.
There's so much here.
So if you do a little reading, start the conversation, we could learn so much and obviously connect.
Yes, absolutely. I love it.
All right. Well, thanks for chatting about this with me, Lindsay, today.
And I'll see you next time.
All right. Take care, Michelle.
Bye. All right. Bye.
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