This is an All Ears English Podcast episode 2295, Avoid these party hosting mistakes in English.
Welcome to the All Ears English Podcast.
Downloaded more than 200 million times.
Are you feeling stuck with your English?
We'll show you how to become fearless and fluent by focusing on connection, not perfection with your American hosts, Aubrey Carter, the IELTS Whiz, and Lindsay McMahon, the English adventurer, coming to you from Arizona and Colorado, USA.
To get real -time transcripts right on your phone and create your personalized vocabulary list, try the All Ears English app for iOS and Android.
Start your 7 -day free trial at allearsenglish .com forward slash app.
Are you attending a party anytime soon?
In American English, there are three key things that we say at specific points during the party.
Find out how to host a fun party in English.
What is the difference between B1, B2, and C1 English?
And what is your English level?
You'll get all of these answers with our free quiz.
From small talk before Zoom meetings to complex negotiations with clients, you need to know where you are now so you know how to improve.
Take our free English level quiz at allearsenglish .com slash fluency score.
That's allearsenglish .com slash fluency score.
Hey, Aubrey. How's it going today?
I'm great. How are you, Lindsay?
Hey, Aubrey, when is the last time you hosted a party?
I really do love to host a party.
I did a big swimming party for my daughter's birthday.
So that's more of the parties I host these days are for children, I think.
Every now and then I host an adult party.
What about you, Lindsay?
Yeah, you like to host it.
Yeah, I also, let's see.
Hmm, I haven't hosted one at home in a while, but I love to host.
I do like to host. It's fun.
It's fun. You can control things.
Yeah, it's cool. Yeah, so we're talking about hosting today because we got a really great question about some of the phrases that you use as a host.
So if you guys are hosting a party, and these can be tricky, they're easy to mix up because they're pretty similar.
A hundred percent. We're going to get into this today, but first guys, hit that follow button right here on Aller's English.
If you are not following, that means you are probably missing some of our best episodes, including bonuses that come at unknown times, unexpected times.
So hit that following button now.
Okay, Aubrey, maybe we can split up the reading of this question.
It's a long one. You want to read the first paragraph?
I'll read the second one.
Okay, all right. So hi Aubrey, it's Kourash.
I'm Persian from Iran, and currently I'm studying a PhD in painting and history of art in the United States.
I've been listening to Aller's English for three and a half years, which was very helpful to improve my listening skills for IELTS, and also a good opportunity to get more familiar with American culture.
So here I wanted to give a shout out to Lindsay, Michelle and you.
Thank you Kourash, first of all, for the shout out.
I'm so happy we could help you prepare for the IELTS exam.
Kourash got the scores he needed on IELTS, which is always so exciting.
We really appreciate that Kourash.
We're glad to have you as a listener.
So here's the question.
The question that I shared with you in the Q &A session was about interacting with guests.
And Kourash joined our Q &A, which is just for students that are personal coach plans.
Yes, this is a really fun session.
It's a one -on -one class with a teacher.
So anyone who is in one of our personal coach classes, then you're able to come to a weekly Q &A to ask any questions you have.
And it's one -on -one if you're the only one that shows up.
Yes, which is an extra benefit.
Not always one -on -one, but you bring your questions and you get to come and hey, Aubrey would you like to read the question?
Yes, absolutely. So the question I shared was about interacting with guests.
I had company and I remember once they sat at the table, I told them enjoy yourself.
But right after that, corrected myself to help yourself.
But in those two seconds, I noticed a brief exchange in somebody's, a brief change in someone's facial expression while staring at his wife.
It was a funny moment, but like I said, I corrected myself.
So I don't know in these situations how much these mistakes could be embarrassing or normal.
Have an amazing day, Kourash.
So in this Q &A session, it was really interesting because first we talked about that.
How much do people care?
Is this a big deal?
Should you be worried?
And then also just about these phrases that we use to host and what exactly they mean and how to keep them straight.
Yes, we have real scripts.
We have cultural scripts in the US, native speakers for when certain phrases are used in scenarios like parties.
And we're going to show you what those are now.
So all you have to do is just kind of run the script at the right time, in a sense, Aubrey, right?
Yes. So we're going to go into those phrases, but first I want to answer this question about how big of a deal is this?
Should we be concerned about these mistakes?
Because we talked about that first.
I personally, if someone's hosting a party and they accidentally say, enjoy yourself instead of help yourself, I would not be looking at my partner like, oh, I'm making a big deal about this mistake, but this is a little different person to person.
I told Kourash, I'm like, I feel like that's kind of rude.
I'm careful to not react like, oh, you made this big mistake.
And also, I don't really care.
I'm more interested in connecting with you.
I'm excited to be at your party that you're hosting.
But there certainly are those people out there who like, when I make a mistake, they look at someone like, Oh, yeah, it happens.
And I also don't even know if it's really that much of a mistake.
Enjoy yourself. You also do say that as a host at a party.
It's just in a slightly different context, right?
So you could pivot and say, yes, enjoy yourself.
So it's not a huge mistake.
I agree. Exactly. I agree.
It is pretty minor.
But yeah, there is a reason that people like sometimes because there are these subtle nuances, like you said, sort of these scripts, this specific word for word thing that makes the most sense in each situation.
Yeah. And that's what we're going to get into now, which I am really excited about.
So let's start. There are three things, right?
Three phrases that we want to make sure our listeners have in their back pockets when they host.
Yeah, you need to have all of these and know when to use them.
So first is make yourself at home.
And this is about welcoming someone into your home.
But this is tricky too.
It's interesting to actually make yourself at home.
If you take this literally, then you might like go to their fridge and get out food, take a nap on the couch.
Is that really what they mean when they say make yourself at home, Lindsay?
Only if they're like your best friend or your brother's sister or something and you feel fine going into the fridge.
Generally, no, it doesn't mean totally make yourself at home.
It means relax in my home.
So this is interesting.
This is one of those situations where we're saying something that we really don't mean literally.
Like if you're hosting a party and there are a lot of people there, you'll say make yourself at home.
Yeah, but that's still not your home.
Like there's still party behaviors that we all know the social norms, right?
A hundred percent. But this is one of the most common phrases you're going to hear.
And I guess not just at parties too.
Maybe when someone, I don't know, I guess if someone comes over to visit you, you might say something like that.
Would you say, Aubrey?
Yeah, if they're coming over to hang out for a while, right?
If they're just there for a couple of minutes, you wouldn't say this, but if they're going to be there a while, you might, hey, make yourself at home.
And this just means you're very welcome.
Like, I want you to feel welcome.
Exactly. Or if they're kind of alone in your house, like, let's say someone comes over, but you are on a work call, you're finishing up a work call.
Hey, I just have 10 more minutes on this call.
I'd love to chat. Have a seat in the kitchen.
Make yourself at home.
That's another scenario.
You might hear that.
Yes, right. You're, well, you are welcome here.
I want you to feel comfortable, even if I'm not right there with you.
Okay. So you might say, like when someone first arrives at your party, the first thing you could say, you know, is just, thanks for coming.
Make yourself at home or so good to see you.
Make yourself at home.
This is a great greeting for a party host to make.
Exactly. So you'll definitely hear that.
Usually when someone again is entering, not so much after they've been there for a while, right?
That's the other key thing.
So we have a greeting.
Number two, Aubrey, what is the next script that we have?
So second is enjoy yourself.
And this usually means, like have fun while you're here.
And it often is a way to say, like, see you later, like to take your leave.
If you've been chatting for a little bit, you've welcomed someone and be like, well, enjoy yourself.
We'll catch up later.
Yeah. This is really good because it's kind of nice as a host to greet people as they first come, especially if they don't necessarily know anyone else there to give them some context about who's in the room.
And then you want to kind of let the catch up a little bit and then let them go so they can start circulating around the room.
And it is interesting to think about how it would sort of be a little bit strange to just say this on its own.
Enjoy yourself and walk away.
We almost always couch this with, you know, we might say, so nice catching up with you.
Enjoy yourself. And maybe even adding, we'll chat more later because you just don't want that awkwardness of excusing yourself to make it, you know, you don't want it to seem like you're leaving because you don't want to talk to them.
Exactly. So you, I mean, as the party host, your goal, you want people.
It's really cool when you host a party because you're bringing people together from different parts of your life, usually.
And your wish is that they have a good time, that they connect with each other.
Right? Yes. But you have all of these responsibilities.
You need to greet people as they come.
So you could just say, Oh, I need to answer the door.
Enjoy yourself. We'll catch up more later.
Yeah. Michelle and I had a conversation about this, about should you bring flowers?
Because what that does when you bring flowers is now the guest has to go and find a vase to put it in.
And it's like a whole thing they have to do.
And so we might be holding the flowers while they answer the door for three more people.
That's true. Good point.
Exactly. Don't give them anything physically that's going to be a task.
Another task. Exactly.
Yes. I agree. Take a bottle of wine.
Put it on the countertop.
It's easy. Yeah, exactly.
What else Aubrey? Is there a third script?
So last is this phrase, help yourself.
And this is all about the food and drinks.
This means like go get some food or get some drinks.
We'll often say it if we have sat down to a table and we're all going to start you know, oh, help yourself.
Yes. 100%. Or you bring them into the space where maybe there's a long table where it's just hors d 'oeuvres on a table and you let them know what we have.
Maybe, maybe. Yeah.
The hors d 'oeuvres here help yourself.
Or if you're still greeting people at the door, this is something you can say, you've greeted them and say there's food and drinks in the kitchen.
Help yourself. Help yourself.
Very, very common. Right.
So this is really when we're standing in front of something you want them to feel free to get on their own.
Exactly. Like dig in.
They don't need to wait for anyone else.
This is, it's so welcoming, but it is tricky if you flip enjoy yourself, right?
If you mean to tell them help yourself to the food and drinks and you say enjoy yourself, it is a little, it's like, oh, that's not exactly what they meant.
Not the end of the world.
Like you said, not the biggest mistake ever, but these do have specific uses.
Right? Like if you're specifically looking at the table of food and you say enjoy yourself, yeah, it's not the worst thing, but yeah, it's not exactly the right phrase, yes, I totally agree.
So, or what would be another sample sentence with drinks, Aubrey?
Yeah. So if you, maybe there's an open bar, right?
You can say, want to drink help yourself?
Yes. Yes. And then the other context outside of a party that I could see here would be, if you, we talked about sharing food at a restaurant that you like to share, but knowing that you go to restaurants with likes to share or something like that.
Did you mention that Aubrey?
Was a good idea too, to think about.
I don't mind sharing.
Yeah, I'll share. And if I have ordered like french fries or something, that's very shareable, then yeah, this is a great thing to be like, help yourself.
Yeah. I have so many people know, take what you want.
Like, oh, these are so good.
Help yourselves, right?
Opening up your dish.
So that's the other context where you might use that.
Yeah. Yeah. Good point.
Okay. Let's have a party.
Yes. Let's do it. We're going to do a roleplay here.
I am hosting a party and Lindsay has just arrived.
All right, cool. I'm ready.
Yes. Hello. I'm so glad you made it.
Make yourself at home.
Thank you. It's so good to see you.
Oh, it's been way too long.
Yes. There are snacks and drinks in the other room.
Help yourself. Thanks.
Is David coming? I brought something for his birthday since I was at a town for his party.
Yes. He's not here yet though.
Okay. I need to answer the door.
Enjoy yourself. Let's catch up more later.
That's another important point is not dominating the host's time.
Let them do their thing.
Just be kind of, I don't know, they're certain, maybe this is another episode, Aubrey, but there are certain words you can say where you understand that they're busy and you're communicating that.
Yeah, right. Something like, oh, totally get it.
Catch you later. Something like that.
Yeah, exactly. Maybe we'll come back to that.
So, guys, hit follow on the podcast.
Aubrey, what did you say first here?
So, I said, I'm glad you made it.
Make yourself at home.
And this, yeah, very natural way to just welcome someone when they first arrive.
And really, it doesn't mean literally make yourself at home.
It just means you're welcome.
I want you to feel welcome.
And again, it's when they first get there.
That's really a key.
It would be sort of weird if they've already been in your house.
And then you say make yourself...
It would be very weird actually.
Totally. Even if, like if you're the host and you're not the one answering the door, so you haven't greeted them right away, but if someone has been there an hour and you finally have a chance to greet them and say hi to them, that would still be strange.
Like make yourself at home.
It's really something you say when someone first arrives.
Yep, there's a window here for this one.
Totally. Otherwise, we just don't say it.
Alright. So, then you said, oh, there are snacks and drinks in the other room.
Help yourself. So, this means like, go and get food and drinks whenever you want, right?
It's just a very easy natural way of letting them know they're welcome to get food.
Right. And you're communicating also that this is not a situation where they're going to be served.
That's important. It's not a dinner party.
Because sometimes even there may be, like it won't be a dinner party, but there might be snacks and drinks, but you still might feel like, should I wait?
Has anyone else eaten yet?
And if the host says help yourself, then you could be comfortable being the first one to get food.
Yeah, that's usually me.
I'm usually the first one grabbing the plate.
I'm not waiting. I might wait for you to say help yourself, but I'm not waiting for everyone else.
Yeah, for sure. And then the last one you said, Aubrey, is...
I said, oh, I need to answer the door.
Enjoy yourself. Let's catch up more later.
That just means I have a good time.
It's a great way to excuse yourself as the host.
Yes, excellent. And we have done some other episodes about parties.
We can go way back if you're, if you can scroll that far down, guys, into the podcast.
Episode 385. That must have been like eight years ago.
Or you can come to the blog and search 385, right?
It's are you the life of the party?
Yeah. It's about whether people are introverts or extroverts.
Super interesting. I know we have super listeners out there have listened to every episode of the podcast.
They might remember that one.
Even this morning, Aubrey, I met a super listener, someone at our fluency party from Guatemala.
Juanito, I think, had said that he had been listening for...
I think he said six or eight years.
Amazing. I love that.
I love meeting super listeners.
I know you guys are out there.
We love that you have listened to the entire archive.
It's amazing. So what's the takeaway for today?
Yeah. Today's tips can definitely help you use these common hosting phrases and then understand what they mean when you attend parties, what someone's saying.
But we always want to come back to connection, not perfection.
These are not huge mistakes.
Don't stress about it.
The people you are inviting into your home want to connect with you.
They're not that stressed about the words that you use.
Yeah. And I would say overall, say yes to the invite, right?
Don't make a fear that you're going to use this one at the wrong time.
Prevent you from actually going to the party.
If you get invited, go.
Such an opportunity.
And I guarantee you, you will feel better leaving the party than if you would just stay home and kind of not connected.
Okay. I agree. Say yes to the invite.
Say yes to hosting host a party so you can try these fun phrases.
Yes, I love it. And then come back and tell us stories.
Bring us questions that come up, right?
That will make a better podcast too.
Love it. So fun. I'm excited for all of you out there host a party and Lindsay.
Think it's time for you to host a party.
We both know holiday season is coming up.
So yeah, I'm excited to host some like marshmallow roasting on the porch or something.
Little little fires.
The little the fire around the fire in the fall is really nice evening.
That's like a little fire pit.
Good stuff. All right, you have a good day.
I'll talk to you soon.
Awesome. See you guys next time.
Bye. Thanks for listening to All Ears English.
Would you like to know your English level?
Take our two -minute quiz.
Go to AllEarsEnglish .com forward slash fluency score.
And if you believe in connection, not perfection, then hit subscribe now to make sure you don't miss anything.
See you next time.
