This is an All Ears English podcast, episode 2294, how to connect over hopes and wishes in English.
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If only you knew these phrases, you could connect more.
Listen in today to find out how to express what you wish were true in English.
Hello, Michelle, how are you doing today?
Lindsay, I'm good. I'm good.
How are you? Good, Michelle.
I have a quick question for you to start off the episode.
Okay, what is it? So are you a person that likes to wish on shooting stars or birthday candles, maybe anything like that?
Oh, well, actually, recently, there's this there's this little pond where where I am.
And my kids like to throw coins in it.
And but we always have to explain.
I mean, the little one is really too little to make a wish.
But the bigger one is, you know, he just keeps on telling us his wishes.
And, you know, yeah, so I haven't made too many wishes recently, but I know that's always remember.
Did you ever do when the clasp of your necklace came around the front?
Oh, that sounds vaguely familiar.
It sounds vaguely familiar.
And I think there were some other superstitious moments, right?
Yeah, I remember always wishing on birthday can't like before blowing up well, I took it so seriously as a kid to write.
I take it seriously.
You know, it's funny.
That must be a global thing.
I bet our listeners are, you know, do that, too, as they blow their candles, making a wish very common.
So yes, yes. What are we getting into today?
Michelle, I'm excited.
Yes, this is gonna be fun.
So we're gonna answer a listener question about wishing or hoping for something.
And it's the difference of well, we'll tell you about it in a second.
We'll get into it. Yeah, we're gonna get into it because this is a good one.
But first, we want to share something with you that we're really, really excited about that we know is going to take you to the next level in your English.
Yeah, I mean, I know that a lot of listeners are wishing for another step once they finish their B two course or another challenging course like business English, many of you guys are ready to level up to see one.
And that is what we are announcing.
Now we are building and we're going to have our brand new C one fluency course available in November, early November.
Alright, so it's coming in just a few weeks, you're going to see the connection method, which means we interview real native speakers, and then we bring you lessons based on what they organically say in these conversations.
Michelle, that is the key difference, right?
Organic English, it's natural, it's spontaneous.
Yeah, exactly. That's how we like to do it here at Aller's English.
We really love having these natural native conversations and then pulling things out from there that's going to help you with your level, right?
We're not writing everything beforehand and saying you should say this, you should say this.
And that's how we like to do it here because that's real life.
That's real English.
Yeah, we want you to be ready when you're out on the street or at work or in a conference to hear the real English.
So guys, go over to allersenglish .com slash C one.
This will put you on our list.
So you will get an email, you'll be sure to get an email this, you know, the second that this course becomes available.
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No one's ever seen it before.
So get ready. Allersenglish .com slash C one.
All right, good. Excellent.
Okay. All right. Well, so let's get into the listener question.
I can read it. Okay.
This is from Marcia.
So thank you, Marcia, for this question.
Marcia says, Hi, no words can express my gratitude for always answering my questions.
Well, I'm so glad you, you write great questions.
This time I would appreciate it if you could get to the difference between I wish and if only I'm not positive, but I feel like if only, it only implies feelings of pity or hopelessness.
Love Marcia. Well, great question.
This is a really good one that we're gonna really dive into here.
What do you think about this, Lindsay?
This is a great one.
Then this feels like a B two C one level skill because these are very nuanced differences between I wish and if only, but at a certain level, you do want to start to be ready to know that difference and intersperse these, right?
We don't want to always say the same thing.
So we'll get into it today.
All right. Yes, exactly.
Exactly. So the funny thing was, uh, this came up naturally in a conversation I had, and I thought, I have to remember this.
I have to remember this so I can say how it came up in my real life.
Yeah. But of course I thought, Oh, I'll remember it.
There's no way I'm going to forget this.
And of course I did forget it.
And I thought to myself, if only I had written it down, if only I had written it down.
So anyway, let's get into it.
We're going to start with I wish.
So the whole idea is about wanting something alternative to the reality.
So this could be something in the present and the future, even in the past, right?
So a wish for the past is usually kind of a regret, right?
Right. Right. And that felt like a regret where you just expressed with if only two, right?
So they're very similar, but we're focusing on I wish here.
So yeah, wanting something different than what actually is happening, right?
Right. Right. Right.
Exactly. So for example, of course, I think people think I wish I had a million dollars.
So yeah. Yeah. This is what you wish in the present, right?
So I want the million dollars now, but I'm actually using, I don't say I wish I have a million dollars.
Right. Yep. Yep. I wish I had a million dollars.
So kind of a conditional format, right?
I wish I had a million dollars.
Right. So we use that past tense, right?
Yes. Yes. Or something a little lighter, Lindsay.
What's another thing you could say?
I wish I could meet you for lunch, but I have a meeting at 1230.
Yeah. All right. Very busy with those meetings.
Yes. Oh yes. Very, very busy.
So again, you're using that past tense, even for something that you're feeling in the present.
So for the past, now let's talk about the actual past, this feeling of regret.
Here we really use the past perfect generally.
So more about regret.
So Lindsay, what would be an example of that?
You could say, I wish I had written down his phone number, right?
Yes. Yes. Or I wish I hadn't lost that form.
Yes. I'd like to go back in time and change something, right?
Or in your case, I wish I hadn't forgotten the conversation, right?
Certainly, you could say it that way too.
Yes. Yes. My son is starting to regret things.
Oh, interesting. Yes.
So he's starting to use some of these.
So for example, he has a big dilemma.
I don't know if I mentioned this, but he's an ice cream lover like you, Lindsay.
Yes. I mean, big ice cream lover.
And so his dilemma is always does he want ice cream in the day or does he want it after dinner?
So I get that dilemma.
I totally get it. Yeah.
Because once we were walking around and it was a nice day and he had ice cream and then it was a beautiful evening.
And there was after dinner and we were just walking and it just felt like this is an ice cream night.
But there you had already had the ice cream.
And from then on, he became very conscious of when in the day is he having his ice cream.
So he'll say things like he even says, oh, I regret that I had my ice cream.
It's a valuable conversation.
I've had these questions.
I've asked myself this too.
Is it better to have it in the afternoon or the evening?
Because after dinner, you're kind of full, but then you go to bed on a full stomach, but it's kind of fun in the evening getting ice cream because everyone is going lining up, the lineup is the thing.
You don't want to just walk in, you want to line up.
So we cannot relate to this.
I get it. I get it.
No, I understand his dilemma too.
I feel bad then. But anyway, he might say, I wish I had waited to get my ice cream.
So we're working on that kind of skill to think that through.
But that's where I wish.
So now let's talk about if only.
So if only there's very little actual difference in meaning.
What do you think? No, I agree with that.
We're expressing the same core idea, which is a regret and kind of an angst over that regret.
A little bit of angst going on here.
Yeah, exactly. So I mean, I looked around, I did a little research and most people seem to believe that if only is a little bit of a stronger feeling.
Yeah, I think that's true.
Yeah, I think that's true.
Because there's a few situations here with our examples with I wish, like if I said, if only I could meet you for lunch, it's a little much, do you have something to say?
I think that scenario I wish I could meet you for lunch is more appropriate.
If only as another level of emotion.
Right, exactly. And it doesn't need to be sad emotion or you're going to be crying over it, but just this, if only, right, or the word longing, there's a longing in there.
Longing for being able to win the lottery and have a million Have you ever seen that show?
I actually saw this over the weekend because I was staying in a hotel.
The million dollar, like where they go house hunting after they win the lottery.
I haven't watched it in a while, but I used to watch it.
Yes, it's funny. It's funny.
It's like, I have all this money.
What am I going to do?
So a lot of people do wish to win the lottery, right?
If only I had a million dollars, but it shows more angst more.
I really wish this were the case.
I really wish it. I don't just wish it.
I really wish it. Okay.
Right. In my mind, I wish is a little bit more common.
I think it also stands on its own, right?
If only seems to me to be kind of an unsaid half of the wish, right?
It's a little incomplete.
So I wish I had a million dollars.
Sounds complete to me.
If you say, if only I had a million dollars, it's there's kind of this unsaid, okay, then what?
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think that makes sense.
You need to say a little bit more, a little more context.
If only I had a million dollars, I could afford to put a pool in the backyard, right?
Yes. Yes. I think you do need to add just because it is so, it is a bit more emotional.
So you may need to add a little more context, right?
Right. Or if you don't, at least the person needs to know exactly.
It's kind of thought of that they would know what you're talking about, right?
Yeah. Yeah, exactly.
Now let's go over the past tense.
So again, this is same idea.
We just put it in the past perfect.
So if only I'd written down his phone number, right, then that sounds pretty natural, but maybe there's an unsaid second part.
If only I'd written down his phone number, I could call him up and offer them to him the position.
Right. Right. Right.
So we do just add a little more context.
What do you mean if only, you know, I agree.
It doesn't stand alone quite as much as I wish.
But the most important thing there is, I think there's a little bit more emotion, a little more wanting of the thing.
Oh, yes. He was so good looking.
If only I'd written down his phone number, right?
Yes. Yes. Do you ever see that where people have missed connections?
I've seen that before.
Yeah. Yeah. I always wonder what that was.
But yeah, I guess that's just people like on Craigslist back in the aughts.
That was a thing that people would write, right?
Like maybe they met somewhere at a party or a club.
Right. Isn't that they didn't get that person's information?
I just saw somebody put make a post about it the other day that they were looking for someone they met on the train.
Yeah, I did. So it's still happening.
But that's super interesting.
Yeah. Huh. Yeah. When in doubt, this is my feeling.
Lindsay, I don't know if you would agree.
When in doubt, I would go with I wish.
But yeah, I think you're right.
I think you're right.
I think you'll wait until you have a lot of experience with I wish then move up to if only adding color.
Again, this is part of our C1 course how to add color to your language by adding something like if only, but start with I wish it's just more objective.
It's something is this way I wish I wish it were this way.
Right? Yeah. Yes. Mm hmm.
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Okay, Michelle. So let's go to the role play.
What do you think? Oh, okay.
Yeah. Let's go to the role play.
I love that idea. Let's do it.
So Michelle, here we just got a bill for a big lunch party that we have thrown for maybe friends or family or something.
Yes. Yeah. Okay. Exactly.
All right. Here we go.
Wow. I wish I had known how expensive this place was.
Didn't you look at the menu?
Yes, but I didn't realize I kind of went overboard.
If only I had double checked with you on the budget, I could have decided on a different place.
I'm sorry. Oh, it's okay.
Thanks for understanding.
Are we on for the exercise class later?
I wish I could, but I have class tonight.
Oh, okay. If only the class were on Fridays, we could both go.
I wish. Yeah. Oh, has that ever happened to you, Michelle?
You, you go to a restaurant, you don't really pay attention to the menu and then you come out two hours later with like a $300 bill.
Yeah. Well, that happens to me a lot at the grocery store.
I mean, we've talked about the grocery store, but you don't realize how much you're buying and then with inflation and everything and you go out, you think how did all of that possibly add up to that number?
It's true. You got to be careful these days.
Oh my gosh. So here we've used all of the constructions.
So first I said, wow, I wish I had known how expensive this place was.
So I didn't really pay attention to the prices.
We just kind of ordered.
Yeah. Yeah. Exactly.
So you regret, you regret that you didn't know it.
And then I said, if only I had double checked with you on the budget, right?
So maybe you had a budget, but I didn't, I didn't know what it was.
So I just kind of picked somewhere.
Yeah. And then I said, I could have decided on a different place.
So, you know, I, I gave more context.
Yes. Yes. The communication fell through here.
And then you said, are we on for the exercise class later?
And I said, I wish I could, but I have class tonight.
Right. And then I said, Oh, okay.
If only the class were on Fridays, we could both go.
So, Oh, I really wish I could go with you.
Right. Yeah. And sometimes it is interchangeable too.
Right. It's, you know, we could also say, I wish the class were on Fridays.
We could both go. Right.
Exactly. So sometimes, sometimes I mean, most of the time, most of the time it is pretty much either way, but we're in giving you an idea of one over the other.
I think that for me, the main takeaway for today is that I wish is probably the safest bet.
I think this. Yeah.
Just to get started.
Right. Exactly. Exactly.
And sometimes at the end, Lindsay, you said, I wish.
And that's another thing.
Sometimes we just say, I wish, or if only, right.
Yes, by itself. Yeah.
And that could be even another episode.
There are other ways to use that.
I've heard people say, Oh, you wish, but that guess is that expressions going out of style now a little bit.
Maybe we won't cover that, but we do have another episode to send our listeners to Michelle.
What is that? Another one, just recently asking the difference between two things.
Like this episode was 2290 more likely versus most likely in English.
So go ahead and listen to that one.
Yeah. And what's the takeaway for today, Michelle?
What should our listeners think about as they finish up?
Yeah. Well, this is huge for connection and there it doesn't always have to be about something big.
Like, Oh, I wish I had majored in this subject, or I wish I had gone into a different field.
It could just be something like, Oh, I wish they had, I wish they had orange sorbet here or instead of chocolate or I don't know, could be something light.
It doesn't have to be heavy wishes.
It doesn't have to be about the shooting star.
And so these things are just talked about all the time in daily life.
So a huge way to connect with people and definitely good for this C one level.
Yeah. It's kind of a way of showing your personality again.
It's one of those episodes because yeah, let's say you go to a place that has a very limited menu.
And you wish that you saw other options on the menu.
You know, you wish there was a vegan option, for example, right?
Right. You could show your preferences in life and the kind of person you are by saying what you wish existed, but doesn't exist.
Right. Yeah. Very good point.
Very good point. So definitely try these out today and let us know how it goes.
And we hope all your wishes come true.
Sounds good. Alright, Michelle, you have a nice day.
I'll, I'll see you soon back on the show.
All right. Bye. Bye.
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