This is an All Ears English podcast episode 2291, how to talk politics and keep friends even two weeks before the election.
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We'll show you how to become fearless and fluent by focusing on connection, not perfection with your American hosts, Lindsay McMahon, the English adventurer and Michelle Kaplan, the New York radio girl coming to you from Colorado and New York City, USA.
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The US presidential election is only two weeks away.
In this divisive moment, we want to talk politics with the people in our lives, but we don't want to lose our connection with those that matter.
Today, get phrases to approach politics and to back away in a conversation.
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Hey, Lindsay, how are you?
Michelle, I'm getting nervous.
We're getting really close to the election here in the United States.
It's only a few weeks away.
How are you feeling?
It's definitely it's going to be interesting.
It's going to be tight, very tight.
Yeah, I mean, there are polls that are coming out every week now and it's like flip -flopping back and forth.
This person's in the lead.
That's pretty. Here's why this person will win.
Here's why that person will win.
The truth is, we have no idea what's going to happen because polling is not that accurate.
So what we can do though, Michelle, is show our listeners how to actually get into the topic of politics and how to know when to step away if someone doesn't agree with us or how to approach it if they don't.
So I mean, Lindsay, do you know anyone who has wildly different political views than you?
Kind of. I sort of think some of my in -laws are kind of different than me politically.
And so with them, I kind of avoid it.
Yeah. Okay. So yeah, that's what we're really going to be talking about because there's also, hey, Thanksgiving is also coming up.
People are going to be coming around the table.
Thanksgiving. Wow. That's going to be intense for a lot of families.
Right. Right after the election.
I feel like they should have, just like election day should not be anywhere near Thanksgiving because then you're coming all together and who knows what's going to happen.
But anyway, yeah, exactly.
So today we're going to talk about what do you do in these tough conversations?
Guys, this is part four of our series on politics, really talking about this election that is very contentious.
Right. We're a very divided country right now.
And so we wanted to give you the tools to give you a little bit of knowledge, what's going on, how to talk about it, what not to say also at work, what happened.
So, Lindsay, what are those other episodes that we did?
So two or three weeks ago in twenty two eighty four right here in Allers English, we talked about Democrat versus Republican, how to talk about American politics where we laid the groundwork for you guys.
All the basic terms that you need to know.
Then over on Business English, which if you are not following it, you should be three twenty one.
Who are you voting for?
Questions to avoid at work.
And then last week, Michelle, what did we talk about just a few episodes ago?
Yes. So this was twenty two eighty nine was the three issues that will decide the U .S.
election. So we went over really in depth of several of the main issues and we touched on some others, I think, to to let you know, really, what's going on?
Like, what are we voting on here?
Really? A hundred percent.
So go and do your homework.
Go go get caught up, guys.
Or you could listen today and go back to those.
But hit the follow button so you don't miss any of these very cool series that we are coming up with.
And if our listeners want a follow up after the election, you know, let us know on social media or wherever and we will answer your questions.
We'll just have to see what happens here.
We sure will. So I mean, this is what do you do in this situation if someone disagrees with you or even if even if they're not that close with you, just how do you handle these situations?
Because, I mean, Lindsay, how do you feel about it?
You just said you avoid it.
Well, not with everyone.
So it's I think you have to weigh your relationship with the people and decide what's more important or can you see their point and sort of use the right words to kind of make concessions a little bit and say, I understand where you're coming from.
Like you just have to get a sense of your feelings about it.
What is going to be the outcome?
Is this going to be productive?
We're going to try to understand each other better or is it going to ruin a relationship?
Yeah, right. Right.
I mean, if in my opinion, if you're close enough to the person, you just have to find a way to mentally separate the person from the politics, especially when politics, it feels very much like a team sport right now.
And that can be difficult.
Now, some people have opposite views.
Some people will end a relationship and something over these different political views.
And it's hard because in some ways it it can be tempting.
But when it's somebody so close to you, how are you?
Honestly, I don't know.
What do you think, Lindsay?
Well, I've heard a lot of stories lately just as I've met people over the last year or two who have said they've completely cut off any connection with a brother or like a father in law or something over their political views.
And I feel like that's something that's kind of new in our country is divisiveness.
We dropped two really good bonus words for today for a listener.
Oh, yeah. That's been a lot already.
Yeah, contentious, great and divisive.
They basically mean the same thing.
And super useful this election season.
But, yeah, I've seen it, Michelle, recently.
And I wonder what's happening globally.
I know there's a lot of strife globally around politics right now.
There's a lot of anger.
But I don't know because I feel like other countries are better at keeping politics a little bit more intellectual, more like dinner, dinner table conversation, intellectual.
We make it kind of an identity politics.
But I'm not sure if that concept is spreading globally or if it's really as we're taking this to an extreme.
Yeah. Interesting. Because I know I know there's a lot of this divisiveness going around around the world, but I don't.
Yeah, I don't know what it's like at the dinner table.
Right. It's really interesting.
Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, it's interesting.
You really have to evaluate how important your relationship is and maybe what are some of the key issues that you disagree on.
Maybe there are some that you can come to terms with your differences.
But maybe there are some some people feel, oh, well, I have a fun to I'm fundamentally different from this person.
So I don't know. It's it's a touchy topic and it depends on the situation, of course.
But I mean, I think also in terms of if you talk about it enough, it depends on the height of your emotions.
Right. If you are extremely emotional about the decision, I honestly, I think maybe stay away from it.
If you think then it's going to cause crying and yelling and, you know, it's just not going to be worth it and you're not going to be able to enjoy yourself, then I think it's OK to say, no, we're not going to talk about it.
What do you think, Lindsay?
Well, I also think what is your current mental state?
Right. So if you are if you've been drinking, for example, then maybe you might lose it in a way that you could keep your head a little more centered when politics go.
Or are you tired? Are you stressed out?
Are your kids tugging at you?
And like just is your patience very short in that moment?
Maybe it's better to save that conversation for a time when you'll have more patience earlier in the day, a different time of day.
Right. So that self -awareness is also really key to not losing these relationships.
Michelle, that's exactly right.
So let's say you don't want to need, you're not up for it.
What's something you could say?
So here are the phrases for our listeners, guys.
Write these down. We're going to need these actually, probably right now.
Right. So here we go.
I'd rather not talk politics right now.
And it's just interesting.
We're not saying I'd rather not talk about politics right now.
You can say that, of course.
Right. This is a little more slangy, a little more native and natural.
I'd rather not talk right now.
You can put anything there.
Talk sports, talk news, talk weather.
I guess you could say that it's just a more street language way to say it.
Right. Right. Very natural sounding.
Or we've thrown out this expression before.
Let's agree to disagree.
So that's kind of just a way to kind of zip up the conversation a little bit.
We're just shutting it down at this point.
Yeah, I think. Yeah, we have taught this on another episode and it works well here when you just realize, OK, we're just not going to.
I'm not going to convince you at this point.
At this point, you know, there are very few people in the electorate that are convinceable, I think.
There are still some swing voters, but very few people are pretty locked into their positions by now.
So the likelihood of you coming over to your in -laws' house and explaining why they should vote for Republicans or Democrats.
I mean, no, it's probably not going to happen.
Right. Right. Yeah.
That's true. It's true.
So or if you want to elaborate a little bit, you could say we have different viewpoints on this.
I'd rather talk about something else.
Yeah. And you can be light about it too.
Right. You can kind of make a joke.
Oh, there are so many more interesting things going on right now, even though the election is probably you can be a little sarcastic.
You don't have to be super heavy about it in the way you deliver it.
Right. There you could even.
Sorry. Yeah, go ahead.
No, no. I mean, you could even say something.
Right. Like you said, you could make a you could just do a quick joke.
You could just be like new topic or.
Yeah. Or you know, exactly.
It doesn't have to be so heavy.
Exactly. Keep it light is my recommendation.
Then transition and we've done a lot of episodes, guides on all our English about how to transition into other topics.
So find those episodes.
So, Michelle, next piece today, what if you are actually OK?
Maybe one of your relatives or friends is a moderate and you're you know, you can see eye to eye on things a little bit.
You're OK to talk about it.
Right. Yeah. You have open ears.
You have an open heart.
You want to hear the other side.
And hearing the other side could also make you a better communicator.
Be able to express yourself in a better way and debate.
So it's not a bad idea.
I mean, so, Lindsay, after the break, we're going to talk about what you can say if you want to talk, but you disagree.
OK, we'll be right back.
OK. So, Michelle, where do we start here?
So what can we say if we want to talk?
But we know that there is some disagreement that's going to come out, but we still want to talk through it and we want to maintain this relationship.
OK. So you can say I understand where you're coming from, but.
So, for example, I understand where you're coming from, but I just think Trump lacks the character and integrity to be president.
Yeah. And again, guys, we're not putting our own political views.
You could insert you can insert Kamala Harris there.
You can insert anyone you want.
OK. Yes, exactly. And I have examples from both sides.
Don't you worry. All right.
Perfect. So then here's another one.
Oh, did we want to OK?
I got to say I see it completely differently.
Dot dot dot. So, Michelle, what would that look like here?
I got to say I see it completely differently.
I see. I think Trump is a was a strong leader and I think Kamala Harris will just be a continuation of Biden's policies.
So see, we're making it equal on both sides, guys.
We're not we're not here to tell you what to think.
But I just wanted to throw out some examples of how what things you actually might hear people say.
Yeah. And I like this phrase.
I see it completely differently.
It applies outside politics, too.
So a lot of what we're going to learn today, guys, you could take when you talk about the latest, I don't know, research study on something, whatever you like to talk about at parties.
That is what you could use when you disagree a little bit.
So I like right. Right.
Next one, Michelle, what is it?
It's I'm trying to understand your perspective on X.
Why do you think blah, blah, blah?
Yeah. So how would that sound?
Yeah. I'm trying to understand your perspective on Harris's plan for gun control.
Why do you think she would implement a gun buyback plan?
OK, I meant why do you think she wouldn't or I don't know what I meant here.
Would, wouldn't, would either way.
It doesn't matter. We don't.
Yeah, whatever. It doesn't matter.
Yeah. Yeah. So the point is, I'm trying to understand your perspective on X, right?
Yeah. Yeah, exactly.
So this is so I like this because you're making a gesture and you're saying, I want to see you like, I want to fully see you and see what your concerns are.
I want to see how you're seeing this, which is another word for empathy.
Right. Exactly. Or we'll do one more.
Don't you think X is a concern?
Right. So you could say, don't you think Project 2025 is a concern?
Yeah. So this one. And this one's definitely a little more, you know.
You're not necessarily well, you're really you're just saying you support this side, but aren't you concerned about this?
Yeah. Aren't aren't you concerned about the border?
Aren't you concerned about Project 25, 25?
Right. Like there could be anything.
Yeah. And then if we want to be even more neutral, we could say, do you think Project X is a concern at all?
Right. So we can step one step back and be even a little more neutral.
Right. And because there is a big difference in tone between don't you think X is a concern or do you think X is a concern at all?
Those are totally different, totally different.
That's really interesting because don't it's a little bit more like it's a little bit more accusatory.
Exactly. So it's a little bit more aggressive.
Right. So there are always ways to step back a little bit and think.
And I think these kind of conversations, especially if you know, you're talking to someone who's on the complete other end of the spectrum.
We really want to be self reflective.
What are they going to gather from my words?
Are they going to shut down immediately?
So what can I do to step back and be a little less aggressive?
Right. Exactly. Very, very good point.
So all right. So let's do a role play.
So I I I'm the Trump supporter here.
Oh, yeah, Michelle.
OK. All right. Wow.
So so, Michelle, you're a Trump supporter and I am here, supporter.
All right. Here we go.
Who's taking one for the team?
I'm taking one for the OK.
Here we go. All right.
We go. I hate talking politics.
I know, I know. But well, I understand where you're coming from.
But don't you think Kamala Harris is the most qualified person for this position?
I think Trump is a threat to democracy.
Don't you think don't you think all her flip flopping is a concern?
I feel like I don't know her.
I don't. I'm more concerned about Project 20, 25 and reproductive rights.
I understand where you're coming from, but I don't think there's any validity to Project 20, 25.
And I still think so many people identify with Trump and his policies.
I got to say, I see it completely differently.
I think he's a menace and so many Republicans have turned against him.
OK, I can see we have different viewpoints on this.
Let's talk about something else.
Sounds good. Oh, that ended well, I guess.
That ended better than I think most of these conversations do tend to end nowadays.
Yeah, exactly. But so and we can like touch on, you know, when we explain the role play, we can just explain a little bit about these issues and why we're saying what we're saying.
So, yeah. Yeah, so right.
So I think because we used some key phrases, the conversation went longer than I think some of these conversations were.
We talked a little bit more about some of the issues.
We didn't agree. No one changed their vote, right?
No one's going to change their vote at this point.
I don't think really.
But let's talk about what we said.
So you said, I hate talking politics.
And then I said, I know I know.
But well, I understand where you're coming from.
But don't you think XYZ, right?
Don't you think I'm layers is the most qualified person for the position?
OK, so I understand where you're coming from.
But XYZ, that is your phrase for today, guys.
Right. And then I said, don't you think or I could have said, do you think, right?
Depending how well, how I want to sound.
So I said all her flip flopping is a concern.
I feel like I don't know her.
And that's something that is a criticism of Kamala Harris.
Is that she's it seems to have changed a lot of her viewpoints.
So some some people on both like, you know, whether you're more or less.
Yeah, exactly. She was the state attorney general of California.
And then she had certain views and then she was in Congress and had different views and then was the vice president and different things happened.
So there has been a lot of change, actually.
And, you know, maybe there's an explanation for it.
But certainly that is an issue that you might hear.
I mean, we're really getting into the actual issues here.
We're not using anything in the blanks with with just false issues in this episode.
Right. So but one thing the way we could rephrase that is, do you think her flip flopping is a concern at all?
Right. So that would be that more neutral way of stepping back one step back.
Because again, don't you think is a little bit like you should think this right?
Right. Right. It's like how can you it almost seems like how can you not think that?
Yes. And again, the term flip flopping.
I think this came up in one of the other episodes.
We're not talking about shoes here, Michelle.
Right. Yes, we're changing your view.
Yeah. Viewpoint a lot.
Yep. And then I said, I understand where you're coming from, but I don't think there's any validity to Project 2025.
So so I'm saying, like, yeah, I get I get what you're saying, but I don't think it's I don't think it's valid.
Yep. And that's your next phrase.
So I understand where you're coming from.
So if we haven't written those down yet for our listeners, make sure we're scribbling those down.
Good. And then I said, I got to say, I see it completely differently.
Yeah. And sometimes this is really all that you can say at the end is owning your own perspective and kind of ending the conversation.
Yeah. Yeah, exactly.
And then instead of, you know, there comes a point where you realize, OK, maybe things could get heated at some point and we don't want that.
So I just said, OK, I can say we have different viewpoints on this.
Let's talk about something else.
And that's fine. Yeah.
So today's episode isn't exactly about building bridges.
It's more about maintaining relationships when you know that someone sees things very differently and maybe politics comes up.
How do we kind of touch on it and then maybe back out of the topic.
Right. And so close to the election, I think, unfortunately, that's probably the majority of what you're going to have.
The conversations you're going to hear and see and participate in is going to be like that.
Yeah, right. Yeah. Right.
Exactly. But we ended it on a good note.
But yeah, so, guys, the election is coming up in just a couple of weeks.
So we'll see what happens.
Yeah. And so there's a podcast that if anyone is really into politics and wants to listen to a podcast, I personally like the podcast Pod Save America.
So it's done. It's hosted by the former speech writers of Obama, Obama's former speech writers.
So they have the insider perspective on how to run an election, being in the White House, writing speeches, congressional elections, local elections and presidential elections.
So they really go granular.
So if you really want to nerd out on the electoral college and the things we haven't had time to talk about in this series, then check out Pod Save America.
All right. Good. Awesome.
All right. Take away for today, Lindsey.
Any last thoughts? Don't lose your relationships.
Don't lose because you're you're close to these people for a reason.
Right. Yeah. I mean, you don't want to be losing a brother, a sister, an in -law.
No, save those relationships.
Right. Well, as a country, we're going to get through the moment we're in as a world.
We're going to get through it.
And you want those people in your life.
So use the phrases today.
Use your intuition, too, if it's time to back out of it.
Use these phrases to back out.
All right. Yes, exactly.
All right. Whoo. Well, this has been this has been a great series, guys.
Definitely. If you haven't listened to the other episodes, make sure you take a listen to those because we go through so much for the selection and yeah, we'll see.
We'll see what happens.
So we'll probably do a recap on once the results are out.
We'll talk about what's going on and what implications and what's what's happened.
So we'll be back to this topic, guys.
But let us know if you have any follow up questions.
And Michelle, thanks for wading into the world of politics with us.
All right. Bye, guys.
All right. Take care.
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