This is an All Ears English Podcast, Episode 2286, don't squabble about English vocabulary.
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Are you someone who gets into a lot of squabbles?
What is the difference between bicker and squabble in English?
Find out today. What is the difference between bicker and squabble?
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Hey, Lindsay, how are you today?
I'm feeling great today, Aubrey, full of energy.
How about you? How are you feeling?
I am great. I have a question for you.
Do you ever bicker with friends or family members?
Yeah, for sure. I used to bicker with my mom a lot, actually, when I was a teenager.
I think sometimes a mom -teenage -girl relationship can be a little bickery at times, at least in my experience.
I remember bickering a ton with my siblings, where my dad would say, it's the Bickersons.
That was our new last name, the Bickersons.
That's so cute. I love that.
We would bicker a lot.
The guys, this means to argue and not in a very nice way.
You might be criticizing each other, calling names.
There are several ways to say this.
We got a great question about this word and some related terms.
Yeah, we're going to really dig into what this means and the difference between this and other ways of essentially fighting, right?
Yeah, arguing. Like fighting maybe, yeah, arguing.
Mendoza Bismarck says, I have a question.
Are squabble and bicker synonyms, is it the same meaning?
Now, this is a high -level question from Mendoza.
Yes, absolutely. Because you have she or he has heard both of these terms.
It's like, do these mean exactly the same thing, or is there, are there connotations, are there a little different?
So we're going to share these two and a couple more related terms and really get into it so that you guys have all the details you need to use these fun terms.
Fantastic. But first, before we get into that, I do want to make sure our listeners, we want to say a special thank you to our listeners in the iOS Android app who left us a rating and a review.
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I think you did a good job there, Lindsay, but I say this when we have open conversation club.
I'm like, let me know if I'm pronouncing your name wrong because I'm just reading it with my English pronunciation.
Oh, we try our best.
We try our best. All right.
So what is the main difference between squabble and what do we need to know here to answer that question?
Yeah. I think the main difference is squabble implies volume.
It's a loud, noisy argument when you look up the definition.
And if I called something a squabble, I'm imagining my kids yelling at each other arguing, whereas bickering can be very quiet.
My kids often bicker in the back of the car so that I can't even hear.
They're just like elbowing each other and saying mean things to each other very quietly so they don't get in trouble.
Ah, so the key difference is noise.
Is that what you're saying?
Very interesting. Would you agree?
Would you ever call it a squabble if someone were quietly arguing?
Oh my gosh. I don't know if I know the answer to this.
I'm not sure if you're offhand without researching it.
Really define the difference.
I had to think about it.
And then when I looked it up in the dictionary and the definition says loud, noisy argument for squabble, I was like, Oh yeah, absolutely.
Yeah. Like I wouldn't call it a squabble if they're quietly arguing.
That's bickering. Yeah.
Yeah. You can get loud too, but it's not always, whereas a squabble.
Yeah. We do use this where I grew up.
We would, we would call some, you know, we would say someone is squabbling, but only if they're arguing very loudly, no, easily.
Interesting. All right.
Well, okay. So that's it.
So it could, so Bicker could be a little quieter.
Is that what we're saying here?
It can be a little quieter.
It could be petty. I'll often see squabble.
We'll see it in the news when we were talking about like a customer getting very angry and loud in a store.
And then say like they were squabbling if two people were fighting.
So yeah, I guess it's interesting, but so let's dive in first to Bicker.
This just means to argue about something, but it's usually something trivial or petty.
So we'll often say children are bickering because it's about something that really doesn't matter.
The adults are often like, does this really matter?
Why are you arguing?
Yeah, it's trivial.
That, that is very inherent in that word.
That concept that something is trivial.
That's clear for sure.
Uh, something unimportant or something.
My children often bicker about who gets the remote control.
This is very accurate.
Like why, why are we fighting?
It doesn't matter who gets it, but they will argue about it.
That's bickering or just saying some things to someone, please stop bickering, stop bickering.
It's unimportant. Okay.
Exactly. Right. Because if something was, if something were an important conversation, we wouldn't call it bickering, right?
We would call it an argument or a heated debate or discussion.
This is, that's very different.
This definitely implies that it's unimportant.
It's trivial. I imagine with four kids doing road trips, you probably encounter this quite a lot, right?
In the back seat. Or do you even do road trips?
We do. We do. We'll drive from Arizona all the way up to Idaho.
So that's like 15 hours.
We have started breaking down and letting our children have like screen time of like, they each have their iPad because I can't with the bickering.
Yeah. Yeah. It's a lot.
It's a lot. So that helps for sure.
But yeah, I know my brother and I, we didn't have screens in those days, in the eighties and the nineties.
And we used to do long road trips, maybe from New Hampshire down to South Carolina.
Oh yeah. There was a bickering.
I will turn this car around.
The arguments are very, very, very, very trivial.
Like, petty means unimportant when it's about like an argument, right?
But it's interesting petty, you can also be used to describe a person and then it means something sort of different.
It means they're focused on trivial matters and sort of a small minded spiteful way, right?
Yes. For sure. For sure.
Also not a great thing to be around someone who's petty, right?
Exactly. Petty arguments and petty people.
We don't want to either.
Stay away from it. All right.
So should we go through squabble then?
Yeah. This means to quarrel or argue noisily, but also about something trivial.
If someone is, you know, in like a heated political debate and it gets loud, we still wouldn't call that a squabble because it's still like important issues and they're passionate.
A squabble definitely is still something petty or trivial.
And it is a little more rare for sure.
I definitely hear bicker more.
There are other terms I hear more squabble is a little more rare.
And you said you weren't as familiar with it, right?
Well, I know the word, but to define it on the spot, a little trickier for me, the difference between bicker and squabble to me.
Yeah. Broadly, when I think about it, it's fighting, right?
Both are fighting, of course.
There's a funny meme out there on Instagram somewhere talking about Bostonians and how couples in Boston, like you'll just be walking down the street in little in the North end, which is little Italy or any part of Boston.
Honestly, it doesn't matter.
And you'll see couples just screaming at each other.
They it's, it's, it's this Boston attitude, this like East coast, dramatic, and not afraid to scream at each other on the street.
It's not, it's not like it's not domestic violence, but there is just a dramatic fight.
They're not afraid to air their dirty laundry in public.
It's, it's very different from what you might see in Colorado.
You would never see that here in Denver.
Interesting. Yes. And because you rarely will know what they're talking about, we might just call it a squabble, right?
I heard a couple squabbling on the street because I don't know if it was trivial or not.
It's pretty funny. It's there.
There are memes out there.
It's, it's hilarious.
I love that. I love it.
So squabble, let's move on, Upprey to the next one.
Shall we? Yeah. So this is quarrel, which really means the same thing, but it doesn't necessarily have to be trivial, right?
It means sort of a heated argument.
It can be a verb or a noun.
Like we were having a quarrel or we were quarreling, but this could be about, you know, something more serious, more important.
Wouldn't you agree?
Yeah. Yeah. I think that could be a little more intense, more of a substantive topic, right?
Like I'm often quarreling with my children and it's maybe about rules or about their behavior, right?
This is, it's not something trivial.
I would never bicker with my children because that's like petty and trivial, but we might quarrel.
We might quarrel. So say something like they're always quarreling or let's not quarrel anymore.
Less common for me.
I don't tend to use this word.
You'd probably argue instead, right?
Yeah. We're always arguing.
Let's not argue anymore.
Quarrel means the same thing, but it is less common.
It sounds a little more formal, I would say.
Yeah. Yeah. I like that.
And then I love the next one, which is lockhorns.
We were in a situation just last week, what we were hiking in Slovenia, where we were hiking around cows and the cows that have the horns.
And there was a huge herd of cows with lots of babies and cows are generally not violent, but when any animal species has their baby and their baby seems to be threatened, you have to be really careful.
They were right on the hiking trail.
We were in the Slovenian Alps and we didn't know what to do.
We had to start like banging a tree to like get bigger and try to get the cow to move.
And then all of a sudden they were looking at us and they had these horns and I was freaking out.
It was so crazy. What if they charge us?
Oh, that is really frightening.
And it wasn't like a place where you could really go off the trail.
No, because they were everywhere.
They were like off the trail, up the trail, down the trail, on the trail.
There was nowhere to go.
And everywhere you turn, there was another big one, adult one with horns looking at you.
It was crazy. The horns are what really makes it scary, right?
It could just, they're so sharp.
It could get bored.
So this lockhorns, right?
It means to argue, but it comes from animals that fight and lock their horns together.
It means for their horns to be like connected.
Deer elk do this, right?
Lots of animals when they're butt heads together and lock horns.
Yeah, probably. Have you ever heard of an Ibex?
Yeah, have you seen one at the zoo?
They're Ibex at the Phoenix Zoo, but I've never seen one in real life.
Okay. So we saw them in the Alps in Slovenia.
They have them up there.
They're sitting on the plate and the size of those horns, Aubrey, they're huge, huge, huge, like bigger than their bodies.
Maybe this is giving our listeners the picture of locking horns, a very intense fight.
Yes. You got to be ready for that if you go to Slovenia.
But yeah, we use this idiomatically, right?
And it's not just any argument, like this is a very heated debate.
If people are locking horns, it means they disagree.
Like you're not going to just say this for any discussion.
And I think the key piece here is that both parties are very engaged and aggressive.
Right? Definitely. Like if you say we started discussing the environment and really locked horns.
I mean, like we really disagreed and started getting heated, like passion from both sides.
Right. You found that sticking point where you realized you didn't agree and then the passion up to a few levels.
Right? So, wow. Exactly.
So if you immediately said, you know what, agree to disagree and stop shocking, you wouldn't say you locked horns.
This means like we got into it.
We were both like, you know, passionately sharing our opinion.
And it got a little heated if we say we locked horns.
Yeah. It's really interesting.
You have to be very choosy about when you do this, right?
You have to make your choices, especially in politics season.
And, you know, we're doing a whole series on politics.
Check out episode 2284 to get episode one there, guys.
But one other example, the coach locked horns with some of the parents about their behavior at games.
That is an issue these days.
Yes. I've seen this a lot where this actually happened at a soccer game.
I was at not that long ago where parents were sort of yelling at their kids, either telling them how to play or criticizing maybe.
And the coach went over and was like, wow, you're going to need to leave if you don't, like, let me coach the kids.
Right. And so he it was, he was willing to lock horns with the parents because he saw that it was having a negative impact on the players.
Of course. Oh my gosh, that's so hard for a kid to see their parent get so into it.
Like just the parents just support.
Just like, yay. Good job.
That's all you need to say.
It doesn't matter if they win or lose.
Just be there for them.
Support. Let the kids say everything else.
Exactly correct. Yes.
Okay. Aubrey, let's put this all into a role play.
And clearly we're talking about, you know, contentious issues here, right?
So you and I are discussing a quarrel that we overheard at a restaurant in this role play.
I'll start us. Oh, wow.
Those two really locked horns at the end.
I wonder if they'd been quarreling for a while and it just came to a head tonight.
Probably. That's usually how it happens.
You're just sort of bickering about something and then it escalates.
I've had my sheriff's squabbles.
I try not to do it in public though.
And that kind of calls back to the idiom that I used when I was talking about Bostonian couples fighting in the street air, your dirty laundry in public.
Yeah, exactly. Right.
This means you're having an argument or you're saying something about like your family, something that should be personal.
You're saying it in public or to other people.
We say you're airing your dirty laundry in public.
I think it's kind of an old fashioned term.
I still hear it though.
Media and everyone's sharing everything on social, but, but you hear it for sure.
It's appropriate for that.
So this little bonus idiom for our listeners today, should we go through this role play?
Yeah. I started by saying, wow, they really locked horns at the end.
So this means like they were just kind of arguing and then they really got into it, right?
They maybe started yelling or at least speaking more passionately, more heatedly.
You got it. And then I said, I wonder if they'd been quarreling for a while.
And here we're using past perfect progressive, right?
If they had been quarreling, interesting use of grammar.
I say quarreling. Do you say quarreling?
It might be like, did I say quarreling depending on where you live?
Yeah. I say quarrel, but it's kind of hard to say quarreling.
It's like the back of your throat.
Quarreling. I think, I think maybe you're right.
I might be mispronouncing it.
We got to get to the bottom of that.
Maybe we'll come back for a bonus episode.
I definitely, we said quarreling, quarrel, quarrel, quarreling, but it is a little tricky to say it's spelled, you know, hopefully you have the transcripts because it's spelled very strangely too.
Yeah. You need the app to get the transcripts by the way, guys, or you could also get them by email, allersenglish .com, slash subscribe.
Okay. Then you said what, Aubrey?
Then I said, yeah, this is often how it happens.
You're bickering and then something escalates.
So like they maybe were just kind of having a conversation that was a little more trivial, trivial arguing.
And then if it escalates, that's when you might lock horns.
It might get more passionate.
Good. And then I said, I've had many, I've had my share of squabbles.
So that means I've been in fights too.
Right. Right. I've had some loud, noisy arguments, but trying to keep it private.
You got it. You got it.
Aubrey, there's a great episode that we think relates to this one that our listeners should check out now.
What is that one? Exactly.
It was episode 2257 right here on the allersenglish podcast.
This was you and Michelle.
It was called let's bury the hatchet, how to end an argument in English.
There were some great phrases there like to be at each other's throats.
I was going to share that one here.
And then I had already done it.
So I did lock horns instead, but there was some great vocab in that episode.
So as soon as you're done listening today, if you missed that one, scroll up and listen to 2257.
Yeah. We talk a lot about connection on this show, but there are moments when the connection breaks and you do engage in an argument and that's okay.
That's part of life, right?
We know that's part of life and we're giving you the skills to talk about those moments too.
Yeah, bury the hatchet, forgive and move on.
You're going to quarrel.
You're going to squabble.
This is a great takeaway, but like these things are going to happen.
You need the vocabulary to describe it, but then also right 2257 how to forgive and move on.
Yeah, for sure. What's the takeaway for today though, operate where would we leave our listeners?
Watch out for cows and Slovenia and that's it, right?
I mean, we all are going to have these moments, whether it's trivial or not, we might be quarreling or bickering and today's vocab will help you spark up a conversation about this because it is an interesting thing to connect about, whether it's somebody else that's squabbling loudly or about your own
experience with bickering and arguments.
Alright, fantastic, Aubrey.
Thanks for being on with me today.
I'll see you in the next one.
All right. See you next time.
Bye. Thanks for listening to All Ears English.
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