This is an All-Ears English Podcast episode 2195.
Six-Frasal Verbs to Describe Your Dating Life in English.
Welcome to the All-Ears English Podcast, downloaded more than 200 million times.
Are you feeling stuck with your English?
We'll show you how to become fearless and fluent by focusing on connection, not perfection.
With your American hosts, Lindsay McMahon, the English adventurer, and Michelle Kaplan,
the New York Radio Girl, coming to you from Colorado and New York City, USA.
To get real-time transcripts right on your phone and create your personalized vocabulary list,
try the All-Ears English app for iOS and Android. Start your seven day free trial at
allyoursenglish.com-bored-slash-app.
In today's episode, we showed you the most common Frazel verbs that you must know to have a
conversation with a friend about dating in English. Listen in for the building blocks of a great
conversation today.
Hey, Michelle, how's it going today?
Hey, good. Lindsay, good. How are you?
Good. Great. I have a question to start off our episode today.
Okay.
All right. So when did you know that it was time to settle down and get married?
Ooh, that's a good question. When do I know it was...
Well, it's not so much that I knew it was time. It was that I found the right person.
So I suppose in your 20s and 30s, many people are looking to settle down. That's a very
general statement. So not true for everybody, but for my friends at least.
So of course, I was hoping to meet the right person, but I wasn't going to settle down unless I
met the right person. So I knew it was time to settle down because I met Dan.
Yeah. I wanted to settle down for someone else. So that's all.
What about you, Lindsay?
Yeah, I feel the same way. It's really about meeting the right person.
Yeah.
And then you just want to build a life with them.
It's not that in my experience, I just felt like it was time.
It's not about like I would still be okay to be single now, probably.
If I hadn't met the right person.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yes.
Well, this is all very sweet. So guys, we have a listener question today that is going to lead us
to many topics, but I chose one for today that I'm excited about. It's a good vocab, grammar,
episode that goes along with dating. So before we get to that question, guys, we've been doing
these real fun Spotify key polls where we ask you a question at the end of the episode.
And you are able to interact with us. If you are listening on Spotify, you can see that
poll and give us your answer. And then we always give a future update when we look at the results.
And we can see what you guys say. So this is fun. So definitely we'll listen until the end
and we'll give you that question.
Yeah. Coming up, get ready to vote and voice your opinion on our poll coming up.
So first, we have a question. This question comes from Ray, very simple question.
Right, Michelle? What did Ray ask?
Ray said, hi, I want to know about the English use for dating. So he wants to know about
English for dating. So very, very good question. And this will be a fun one because it can take us
in a lot of directions for sure. And we've spoken a lot about dating on the show before.
So definitely take a search for that. Even recently, we did something on May December relationships.
Yeah. And yeah. So in general, lots of other all-ers English episodes to listen to.
Head on over, we also did 2192. What about diamonds? How do we approach controversial topics in English?
Not about dating, but diamonds are offending and diamonds are involved with dating and marriage
sometimes, right? Exactly. Exactly. So we are going to do dating phrasal verbs today. We know you
guys want to learn more phrasal verbs. This is important. So these are super important when it comes
to dating or other topics as well. But we're going to keep it to dating today for Ray.
Yes, I love it. I love it getting into because when it comes to dating, we're having these conversations
with our friends in English, maybe about the person we're dating or about our relationship.
We're going to need casual vocabulary, which is phrasal verbs. Right, Michelle?
Yeah. And these are super common. All of these ones that we're teaching you today.
These are, I think, some of the most common phrasal verbs we've taught.
So we're going to get into it and it's kind of fun because they go in a little bit of an order.
So we can talk to them. So all right, let's go to it. Lindsay, what's the first one?
All right, so the first one would be to ask out, to ask someone out, right? And so we separate
this phrasal verb. And this is to see if someone wants to go on a date with you.
Right? What would be a sample sentence? Talking about asking someone out.
Yeah. Right. I want to ask her out that I'm nervous. Yeah. That's normal. Right?
Exactly. So once you've asked someone out and they say yes, you will go out.
So this is to actually go on the date or even sometimes go out is just used for that you're seeing
someone for a longer time. Oh, we've been going out for a long while.
We've been going out right, right, right, two different meanings in that way.
Yeah. Do you ever hear people just decide bonus? Do you ever hear people saying I'm talking to this person?
Yeah. Do you ever hear that? I never really knew that when I was dating, but it is a thing.
I don't know if that's a regional thing or where it comes from or old-fashioned thing.
I'm not exactly sure, but to be talking to someone, my sense is to be talking to someone.
I don't know for sure, but I feel like it must be something that came up more recently
because we have so many ways of just talking to someone over the internet just texting with someone.
It's interesting. That's another thing with online dating because sometimes people spend so much
time talking to someone and they're just either maybe they're talking on the phone, maybe they're
just writing back and forth for a very long time and they don't meet the person for a long time.
Some people meet right away. Right, right, right. Yeah, no, the different styles for that.
But I have read recently that the online dating sites are struggling in terms of
funding and just there hasn't been a lot of innovation in the space in the last five years
or seven years. So they're just kind of humming along and plateauing or losing market share
probably because of social media. People just direct messaging on Instagram or TikTok.
Now things like that is sort of taking market share from you know, match.com and all those sites,
right? Okay, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So for example, go out. So you could say,
well, I'm actually doing the past tense. Okay. I went out with this guy last night. We actually
had a lot of fun. I think I may see him again. Nice. Yes. Okay. Love it. Very simple. And it's
yeah, it's reserved for when you're dating someone to go out going out with a free. You could say,
I'm physically going out with my friends tonight, right? But when you use it in this way,
it's just someone you're dating, right? Exactly. Yes. Yeah. And then maybe you've been going out with
this person for a while. And now you have to decide what you're going to put up with.
Now's when things get real, right? Yes. So Lindsay, what is put up with me? All right. So to endure.
So what are you willing to put up with? So for example, I can put up with this
loud with his loud chewing, but I can't put up with his nasty attitude. Oh, right. Yeah.
So it comes a point in a relationship when you're going out with someone you're where you have to
decide, is this going to go further or not? And nobody's perfect, but you have to decide what can I
put up with? Is there any trait that I don't like? Something that's really a red flag?
Right. So yeah, you have to decide what you're willing to put up with. It's funny. At the concert,
I was at last night, the someone came out as like the introductory person that kind of builds the crowd.
They were kind of talking to the crowd. And there was someone that, you know, he said, oh,
you know, who are you here with? Oh, my wife. And where's your wife? She's like across the concert
on the other side. He said, that's the secret to a happy marriage being a somehow way from each
other as you can. That's funny. At my wedding, my father-in-law told a joke about he was talking about,
he was in his speech. I can't remember why, but it was funny. He said, oh, for that, my mother-in-law,
he said, oh, that one of the their secrets for a good marriage is they they have a date night
every week. And, you know, where they go out and they do something that really helps keep the
marriage going. Yeah. She goes out on Tuesdays and I go on on Thursday. That's hilarious.
That's hilarious. That's cute. So you're saying they don't go out together.
Yeah. So there's somebody else. I love that. Sounds like a great speech, actually.
Yeah. That was pretty funny. Okay, Michelle. There's a few more, right? So settled down is what I
asked you at the top of the show, getting married or doing a domestic partnership, being with one
person, deciding this is the person that's going to be your person, right? Yeah. So I like him,
but he's just not ready to, ready to settle down. I need someone more serious and mature.
Yeah, for sure. For sure. And then breakups, we're going through all the, all the
steps here. So you're either going to settle down or you're going to break up. So to break up is
to end the relationship. Yeah. Okay. So for example, we broke up. I can't believe it. After two
years. Yes. Yeah. It happens. Yep. And then after you break up, at some point, you have to move
on. So to move on is either to emotionally heal, basically, or to actually go out with somebody else
to date somebody else. So Lindsay, what do you think with moving on from a relationship? It can
be hard. Yeah. It really depends on, you know, in terms of how long it takes. It's hard. I think
it depends on how important that person was, right? Yeah. So what does it? I think there's some kind,
I've heard there's some kind of saying that it takes a certain number of months based on how many
years you are together. Oh, yeah. There is something. I know what you're talking about, but I can't
think of what it is. A little map equation. Yes. Yes. Exactly. But the example would be it's time
to move on. I think it's I'm ready to date again. Yeah. It's just to get past two,
to finally open your heart to someone new or just even if you're not going to, it just,
maybe you're not going to drown in your sorrows anymore. Yeah. For sure. For sure. And we all
go through this at some point in life, right? And moving on is key. And what's that expression?
Time heals all wounds. I feel like that's what people will tell you, especially people who are
older when you go through a breakup when you're young. Anyway, they'll say time heals all wounds,
which I actually do think that it's true. But when you're in the moment, you can't feel good.
You can't fathom that you would ever feel better. That's true. Yeah. It's so hard to hear that
when you when you are in the moment. But it is actually true. Looking back on things.
Time does heal all wounds, Michelle. That's true. So guys, these are really good connection.
For connection. And now we're going to get into our key poll before we do a role play. So we
want to hear from you about moving on. Lindsay, what's our question on the key poll? So here's
our key poll. So guys, you have to be listening over in Spotify to participate in this key poll.
And we're going to ask you how long does it take to move on from a relationship? So you just
tell us your opinion right? Is it a week? Is it one to three months? Is it more than six months or
is it more than a year? I want to think. Right? Yes. I definitely want to hear what you have to say.
Of course, it's different for different contexts. Sometimes you might be able to move on quickly,
sometimes not so much. But just think of your general answer. Yes. I love it. And as you're
thinking about that guys, you know, make your vote. And then let's go into a role play here.
Right? So you just broke up with your boyfriend. I am your friend. I'm here to be your
shoulder to cry on. Yes. Well, thank you very much. Okay. So here we go. So it's over.
What? You broke up? Yeah. You know, it's a shock. I thought you were going to settle down together.
Me too. But there were things I just couldn't put up with anymore. Actually, someone from work asked
to me out. I'm just not ready to go out with someone new. Oh, yes. I'm so sorry. That's understandable.
One day you'll be ready to move on. Exactly. Yeah. But I doubt that you would say exactly.
Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. So I'm not going to move on. That's true. I said, no way. Yeah. You're right.
You're right. Lend me. Yeah. Yeah. That's true. It's the wiser version of yourself that's saying that.
Yes. Right. I know it's true, but I'm not willing to accept it really. Yeah. Exactly. So in this
roleplay, we used these phrasal verbs that you guys, you really want to nail these, nail these
phrasal verbs to get into these real conversations, right? About these everyday things that we all
go through. Right. So for example, you said, it's over. And I said, what? You broke up. And again,
that means ending a relationship, right? Right. Right. And you said, I thought you were going to
settle down together. So you thought maybe we would get married or just be together forever.
Right. Right. Exactly. And then you said, me too, but there were things I just couldn't put up
with anymore. And I think that put up with also can go outside of the dating world, right?
Maybe something your friends do or your family members do, you can't put up with it.
Right. Right. So something has to end. Something has to change. And then I said, actually,
someone from work asked me out. So they wanted to go on a date with me. Yeah. And then you said,
but I'm just not ready to go out with someone new. And again, that means date someone new.
And then you said, that's understandable. One day you will be ready to move on.
Yes. Oh my gosh. Any final thoughts here of a shell on dating conversations? I mean,
most people date at some point in their life. So I feel like this is a very connection-based
conversation that we could have now about dating. Yeah. People talk about dating all the time.
It's a huge, it's a huge connection topic, whether you're dating currently or you're sharing
stories from the past with someone, so many different times where you can have these conversations.
And I would like to do more about dating again, especially with raised question.
So we can talk about how to, how to talk about a past relationship. Oh, I like that idea, Michelle.
We should. Yeah. Lots of different things that we can talk about. So here we give you a lot of
vocab with the phrasal verbs. These are going to be very useful for you. These are not uncommon.
These are very, very common. You will hear them when people talk about relationships.
So give these a try. And I just want to say to anybody, if you are going through some sort of
break-ups, some sort of heartbreak, we're with you. We've all been there. And we're
time does heal all wounds. And I know you don't want to hear it from us right now.
We just hope that soon you'll be ready to move on and but take your time. Don't do, don't move on
too quickly. Yeah, just know that you're not alone. You know, everyone experiences heartbreak
at some point in their lives. We've both experienced it and it is hard, right?
And so yeah, it's hard, but the whole world has experienced what you're experiencing right now.
If you're going through heartbreak, Michelle, this is turning into a therapy session for us.
Yeah, I know. I love it. But anyways, guys, if you love our style of focus on connection,
not perfection and connection moments in English, then hit the follow button on all ears English,
so that you don't miss a single episode from us. All right. Okay, this was fun, guys. I will talk
to you later, Lindsay. All right. Talk soon, Michelle. Take care. Bye.
Thanks for listening to all ears English. Would you like to know your English level?
Take our two-minute quiz. Go to all earsenglish.com forward slash fluency score. And if you believe in
connection, not perfection, then hit subscribe now to make sure you don't miss anything. See you next time.