This is an Allers English Podcast episode 2184.
Three tips for telling better stories in English.
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Human beings want to hear good stories.
If you have a story to tell, it matters what words you choose
when you recount what someone said or thought in English.
Today, find out how to do this in a natural English conversation.
How do you know whether to use the word absolutely or definitely?
What can you say in English when people keep mispronouncing your name?
These are just a few of the connection topics that are coming up
in the next few weeks on All-Ears English.
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Hey, Aubrey, I have a question for you today.
All right, let's go.
So are you good at telling stories?
Are you a good storyteller?
I think I am.
I feel like this is one of my biggest skills in a social setting, right?
If something funny or interesting happens,
I love to tell a story but make it really funny or interesting, engaging,
build up some suspense, exaggerate a little bit.
I love to tell a story.
What about you, Lynn?
I think I am not the best at it.
It's not my zone of genius.
But yeah, I told a story with my meditation group on Tuesday and I think I did a pretty good job, actually.
I'm done.
So yeah, but there are things we can learn and there are patterns that native speakers use
when they tell stories, right, Aubrey?
Yes, absolutely.
We got a really good question about this that we're going to share with some of the phrases we use
when we're telling a story, when we want to quote someone, when we want to share what someone said
or did.
Yes.
This really can make your stories so much more interesting engaging.
So I'm excited to share this today.
relevant and it pulls them in, right? So we have a question from Rasey Azmail Pore.
Right?
Shall I read the question?
Yeah.
Okay.
Great.
So Rasey says, I would like to know more about using I told and I was like when I'm telling a story.
When should I use I told and when should I use I was like?
Thank you for your great podcast.
Great question.
Love this question.
Really good question.
And I love that Rasey is listening to other stories, hearing both of these used and trying to get,
you know, their mind around, how do I do this in order to grab interest, hold engagement?
Because that was what makes a story good.
You do not want to be the person in a group that's sort of, you know, telling a story and it's
kind of boring.
You see people's eyes glaze over.
You want to keep it interesting.
Well, storytelling is so human.
It goes back to the days of evolutionary times when we're sitting around in caves, around
fires.
And so what you notice when you get ready to tell a story is that people want to hear a good
story.
They want it.
Absolutely.
You know what I, that's what I noticed on Tuesday night when I started telling my story.
Their eyes perked up and they were looking for something to grab on to.
You know what I mean?
Absolutely.
Like, who I'm excited.
I want to hear something interesting happen that you want to share.
Yes, I agree.
So this is interesting.
Rasey asked about I told and I was like.
And first of all, like is used in this way as a quotative verb, right?
This we're going to share a little more about this, but we want to make sure you didn't
miss a recent guest episode with Valerie Friedland.
She was highlighting the usefulness of this word, like.
And what episode was that?
Lindsay, it was such a good one.
I was 1976, a great relevant episode.
Super interesting when we interview linguists and they give us insight on the words we use
every day, right?
Exactly.
So go back and find that one.
It's three benefits of like with linguist Valerie Friedland.
And we're going to first dive into I was like this quotative verb.
We use it to introduce a direct quote or maybe internal dialogue, right?
Do you use this when you're telling a story?
Yes, I definitely do.
I can't resist it.
And so it's not really a filler word.
So like in this case is not being used as a filler word.
You say it's a quotative verb.
Right.
It's a quotative verb.
It's a really good method when telling a story.
When you can't remember verbatim exactly what you said or did.
And it doesn't matter.
It almost would be strange to make it more formal and say, I said, and then try to quote
yourself exactly, it disrupts the story.
It interrupts the flow.
So instead we say, I was like, and then we shared sort of generally what we said or did
or what we thought.
Usually for me, it's either said or did or thought.
I often do.
I was like, what's happening?
And that was clearly just what I was thinking.
Right.
You didn't say that.
That's a key point right there.
I love that.
Good point.
Exactly.
It's can be like saying, I said, but removing the implication that we're sharing exactly
what was said.
But just like you said, Lindsay, it might be more like this is what I thought.
You know, this was just kind of my mindset.
Just to add interest of like you're giving your audience all the details, everything you
were thinking.
They're inside your brain for this story.
Yeah, do we have any examples for our listeners here?
Yeah.
So more where you're quoting, you might say, I was like, let's get there early and save
a table.
So you're quoting yourself in the past.
But when you say I was like, there's no guarantee this is exactly what you said, right?
You're just sharing sort of generally what you said.
Sure.
Sure.
Or you could also use it to, let me just give a quick example of what it might mean when
you're just kind of quoting your thoughts.
Right.
And then you're just sharing a conversation, he was telling me about what happened and I
was like, what is going on with this guy?
Right?
Of course, I didn't say that to the person.
It's what I was thinking.
Right.
Right.
And we share this.
This probably is the number one way we use.
I was like, I'm glad you're bringing this up, Lindsay, because when I'm telling a story,
I do want to share my thoughts.
And I can't say I said this or, and I wouldn't say I thought blah, blah, blah.
No.
I used this much more native structure to say, I was like, what is happening?
Why am I here?
I'm just exaggerating your surprise or your shock, your thoughts.
Yeah.
And there are also regional variations of this, which we won't go into today, but regionally
speaking, there are different things that people say, especially in older generations.
Maybe that'll be for another episode, another day.
But there are, there are some things I've heard in the Boston area that are kind of creative
and interesting.
All right.
Guys, be sure to hit follow.
We'll come up with those in an upcoming episode.
I want to know all about all of those as well.
For sure.
So what about when we're recounting then what someone has said?
Yes.
Right.
And this we're less likely to talk because we don't know what they were thinking, but we
want to recount what someone said without being able to say exactly word for word what
they said.
You might say, she was like, don't tell me that.
I don't want to hear any bad news.
So maybe not exactly word for word.
We're not promising that when you just say she was like, right?
Said something like this.
It's like you're taking permission to go and kind of maybe rephrase what they've said,
put your energy into it and sort of portray what they've said in a way that you believe
is authentic.
If that makes sense.
Right.
Exactly.
And we'll also use this just to share someone's reaction.
You might say, she was like, what?
That's crazy.
And that might not be what she said at all.
That maybe her face showed shock and you could still portray it this way in a story.
Yeah.
She could have said nothing, but you just read the body language.
Yeah.
So this is really interesting.
I'm surprised we haven't done an episode on this yet, but I'm so glad we're doing it
today.
All right.
So we're going to take a quick break and come back and talk about two others, right,
Aubrey?
Yes.
Let's do it.
Okay.
Here we go.
We are back.
Now, it'll be the second thing we can use here.
Yeah.
The second one is I told, which Razzie asked about as well.
Like, what's the difference?
When would I use I told and when would you I used I was like?
Yeah.
So this one's pretty different.
The verb tell is foresharing what you actually said rather than sort of a general, you
know, statement about what you were thinking or generally what you said.
Right.
It's going to be a little more specific to the actual to what was actually said.
Oh, for sure.
For sure.
I told her she shouldn't be late, but she didn't listen to me.
So literally that is what you said.
Right.
Exactly.
And we're not voting.
So there's not like something word for word.
You're actually giving the meaning of what you told someone.
Yeah.
It was a second example.
Maybe he told his father he'd be home by midnight.
Yeah.
Right.
So in a conversation in a story, often it doesn't make sense to quote it, especially
if it doesn't matter, right?
It would be strange to be like, he said to his father, I'll be home at midnight.
It doesn't make sense.
It's sort of trappy and strange.
So often instead, we'll use told and just share generally what was said like this.
Right.
And the prior example of a river said he said to his father, he'd be home.
You might see that in a novel, right?
You see a lot of he said she said in novels and books.
And that's great for that.
But when you are paraphrasing or talking in conversation, it's much less common.
We just don't.
We don't have time.
It's smart to point out that books, dialogue and books works very differently than when
you're telling a story or you're telling a conversation, it would feel strange if
you're reporting dialogue, like what, like it is when you read a book instead.
We're trying to add interest to keep engagement.
So we don't usually share word for word what happened.
Right.
We use I was like, I told to, to keep the interest.
And I was all, that's the next one.
And I think you're right, Aubrey, it's about keeping the interest by reporting not so
much I told, but I was like and I was all is about feel portraying feelings portraying
your reactions to a thing.
Right.
It might be what you said sort of generally, but often it's actually your thought process,
your feelings, your reactions.
You might say, I was all, how did you misunderstand the instructions?
And this might be you didn't actually even say that.
You just thought that in your head.
Right.
Now, someone didn't understand and I was all like, I thought this.
And this one is also a personality choice.
I personally don't use this that much.
I obviously have.
It doesn't really follow my personality to use it as much.
Do you feel like you use this much?
You know who uses this a lot?
Jessica and I talked about this on the IELTS Energy Podcast.
We were talking about sharing a story on your part to answer.
And she shared that she's much more likely to say, I was all instead of I was like, I
would probably say I was like every now and then maybe I was all.
So it might be based on where she grew up or just the way her family spoke.
Like you said, in my personality, it's a little more informal, I think, to say I was
all.
I think it's a little more informal.
It's a little more emphatic, more exaggerated a little bit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So if this is not near personality, no worries if it is, go for it, guys.
Okay.
But we're showing you all your options here, which is super interesting.
Exactly.
Another example, when you're talking about someone else, the way they reacted or thought
or generally what they said, you could say like he was all, what are you doing here?
And again, because it's all or like, he may have actually said that or he may have just
had a look on his face that made you think he was thinking, what are you doing here?
Right.
And if you prefer, he was like, he was like, what are you doing here?
Right?
That would work too.
Yes.
Yes.
And as a bonus, you will also hear native English speakers say he was all like, they'll
say, I hear this sometimes.
Really?
I was like, what are you doing here?
I guess, I hear that sometimes too.
Combine both.
You don't need to choose.
That's another option.
I did.
These two, I was like, I was all very casual, guys.
Okay.
Absolutely.
Don't use it in a job interview.
Don't use it in a business meeting.
I think we can be pretty definitive about that.
What do you think, Aubrey?
Do you agree?
I agree.
Right.
If you want to be speaking more formally in a job interview, you might need to tell a story,
something that happened at a previous job, you would in that case want to keep it more
formally.
I said to my employer and then say sort of generally what you said instead of, I was all
right.
Or I can do it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yes.
Completely.
Keep these out of the business space.
But there are other things.
Maybe we will do one day, a follow up over on business English.
You guys should go ahead and hit follow, search for business English, hit follow.
But I might tend towards something like, and I thought, and I was being, and it occurred
to me.
And a lot of other things we could pull out to be more articulate.
Okay.
Exactly.
Good point today is much more about casual, informal storytelling when you're wanting
to grab your attention with your friends, you know, even co-workers because there are
a lot of times where you'll tell an interesting story at happy hour in the break room, those
more informal conversations.
That's when you might use it at work, but not in an interview presentation meeting when
you're trying to be more formal than you would.
There are definitely other options for you.
As we need to know, and I think that's what our listeners want to know for connection is
the formality, informality being semi formal.
Where does that fall in?
Right?
I can start now.
But for now, Aubrey, shall we do a role play?
What do you think?
Yeah, let's do it.
You and I are telling another friend a story about our weekend in this role play.
Okay.
Here we go.
All right.
So I told Mark to meet us there at five, but I don't think you heard me.
Can confirm.
I heard you tell him.
Yes.
I was like, Mark, meet us there at five.
He must have been paying attention to something else.
When he arrived at seven, I was all, why are you so late?
Yes.
And the servers told him the kitchen was closed.
Geez.
Mark.
I get it.
Mark.
Get the program.
So we used them all here.
First, right at the top, you said, I told Mark to meet us there at five.
And you do want to think about depending on exactly what's being said, one will make sense
more than another.
It might be a little strange to be like, I was all, Mark, meet us there at five when
you haven't given the context yet.
We don't have the background.
So it makes more sense to sort of set up the story, start it by saying, I told Mark to
meet us there at five.
Yeah.
Exactly.
And I might add to the second line where I said, yeah, I was like, Mark, meet us there at
five.
If in a real conversation, I might actually add more detail or different detail because
I'm now reading.
There are five on the dot on the dot in front of the door to the restaurant.
So and wait there for five minutes.
I just feel like I would add a little something different.
Does that make sense?
Yeah, for sure.
That makes sense because you've already said, I told, this is almost like you're trying
to be funny.
Yeah, I told him, yeah, I heard you.
Yeah, I was like, Mark, meet us there at five.
Right.
So, okay, there's something here.
There would be more like, there's going to be funny if that's all you say.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So you're right.
Okay.
So we're taking a little bit of a joke here.
So we're going one level above for our listeners here in terms of fluency.
If you're trying to be straightforward, frame it a little differently.
Give a little more detail, say something different.
But if you're trying to make a joke and say, Mark, what's wrong with him?
Right?
Then this is what we're perfectly.
Yes.
Yes, I like it.
And little bonus to point out when I just said, can confirm, this is very native and natural.
It's sort of trendy right now when what you're saying is, yeah, I can confirm that that
is true.
We won't use all of those words.
We just shorten it and we say can confirm.
Interesting.
I feel like I learned about all the language trends from you, Aubrey.
I didn't know.
It's because I have T-Day Jersey.
Yeah, you have T-Day Jersey.
Right.
I'm on TikTok.
Hearing all of the trendy new chunks.
That's so funny.
All right.
And then you said he must have been paying attention to something else.
When he arrived at seven, I was all, why are you so late?
Yes.
And this because I said, I was all, this doesn't have to be something I even said to him.
He might have just both kind of looked at him like, where are you late?
Maybe I looked at my watch.
I might not have actually said anything.
I just thought, uh, Mark, where are you speaking?
Yeah.
And that's really high level for our listeners.
Guys, listen very closely because again, what Aubrey said is she may not have actually
said that.
She may have just been thinking it.
So this episode is super natural and native.
And as a bonus, if someone's telling you a story, a native English speaker and they
say either I was all or I was like, and you want to know if that's actually what they
said or if they were thinking, sometimes you'll hear or you could say, did you actually
say that?
Right.
And that's an interesting part of a conversation.
And then they might say, like, yes, I said that to him or they might say, no, but I thought
it interesting.
Interesting.
Interesting idea for another episode, Aubrey, a little follow up here to today's episode
another day on all our English.
We could do that.
We could take this to the next step.
And hit follow on the show to make sure you don't miss an episode like that.
Right.
And then your last one you said, and the servers told him the kitchen was closed.
And this, it definitely makes more sense to use told here.
It would be strange to quote the servers, right?
The servers were like, hey, the kitchen is closed.
You could.
But because this is more sort of just giving context, it makes sense to say it this way.
And also, I think when we use the servers were like, you need something more interesting.
You know what I mean?
If they do, it would only make sense if they had yelled at him or right?
If there was something some reason that you were quoting them.
The servers were like, don't you know the kitchen's closed?
You need, because you're trying to bring people kind of into the present a little bit or
into the story more than just saying they told.
And so it has to be something a little more interesting than just the logistics.
The servers were like, nothing really happened.
Right.
If they were just like, oh, sorry, kitchen's closed.
That's not very interesting.
Right.
Exactly.
Wow.
This is the art of storytelling right here.
Aubrey, what are the takeaways for today?
Yes, guys, these phrases, these chunks really do add interest to any story.
Keep in mind they're very informal, right?
And you don't want to repeat.
I said this.
He said that she said that it's boring.
It doesn't pull people into the story.
So use today's phrases instead.
Yes.
And remember, today's phrases other than told are not great for business.
So just be careful. We may do another episode over on Business English and show you exactly
how to do this, but with elevated business words, okay?
Semiformal formal words.
So we'll come back to that another day.
I love that idea.
Definitely follow on Business English as well.
So you don't miss that episode.
Yeah, it's all about pulling people into your story.
Sometimes it's about pulling people into the drama.
But I think as a final takeaway, keep in mind what we said at the top people want to hear
stories.
It's literally embedded in our brains as human beings.
We want to hear a good story.
So step into that place.
And if something has happened to you, tell the story.
All right?
Yes, absolutely.
Right?
That's my favorite.
When someone's like, oh, I have a story for you.
I get so excited.
So yes, practice using these.
Practice telling those stories.
So you can have these really fun connections telling a story is such a great way to get deeper
with someone.
Maybe we, maybe someday we could build an entire course about storytelling.
That could actually be kind of cool, Aubrey.
Yes.
I like that idea.
That's my good stuff.
All right.
We'll hop off the mic for today.
But I'll see you back on all those English very soon.
All right?
Awesome.
See you next time.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
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