This is an All Ears English podcast, episode 2156 Why Mindset Matters with Hadar from the Influency Podcast.
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When it comes to learning English, you can only have one thought in your mind at a time.
So why not swap a negative thought for an empowering one?
Wondering how to do it?
Today I interview Hadar Shemesh and we learned three tips to develop a healthy and powerful mindset for learning English.
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Hello Adar.
Welcome to All Ears English.
Welcome back to All Ears English.
How are you today?
I am great.
Thank you so much for inviting me.
It's good to see you.
Good to be on the microphone with you.
I want to take a minute to introduce you to our audience.
So listeners, today I have Hadar Shemesh on the show.
Hadar is an online entrepreneur, teacher and content creator with over 1 million followers across all platforms.
Her mission is to make english communication simple, effective and clear for speakers of english as a second language.
Hadar and her team serve thousands of students from around the world in her online courses and programs.
Welcome again, hadar.
Last time we chatted it was back in 2020, episode 1447.
Do you remember that one?
Absolutely yeah Yeah, it was a while ago.
We talked about the five steps to clear English pronunciation.
So listeners, go find Hadar's other guest episode.
Today, we are getting into mindset.
Why are we talking about mindset today, Hadar?
Oh, I think mindset is so incredibly important when it comes to achieving anything, really.
But definitely when it comes to learning a second language and definitely speaking a second language.
Because Basically, mindset is everything that goes through your head while learning, while speaking, before speaking and after speaking.
And we're not aware of how much impact our thoughts have on the choices that we make, how we communicate and how we show up in front of others.
And this is why I've seen that this is when acknowledging it and learning to develop a strong and healthy mindset, which is what we're going to talk about today, has been incredibly important, helpful for my students and helpful for their fluency.
Yeah.
Mindset is huge.
Do you find that in our English learning industry, worldwide mindset is underestimated?
Or what do people usually think when you remind them we have to address mindset as well as the nuts and bolts of English?
Right.
That's a good question because usually people say, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know like the tendency like all of that is nice and pretty, but really like, teach me more vocabulary, teach me better pronunciation.
And I do see that it's changing.
People address mindset more in general.
Personal development takes, you know, like gets to the front of the stage, not just when it comes to English learning.
I think people acknowledge it more, but definitely not enough, because I think it needs to be incorporated in any type of teaching.
Yes. beginning.
So it's not less important than improving pronunciation or practicing speaking.
Right.
It's kind of just a way to... Well, it has to go along with both, right?
We have to learn the technical aspects of the language.
But if the mindset is not there, it's kind of like it's the foundation to be able to use what we have learned.
Was there a moment for you... I know you spent some time in New York.
I think we chatted about this last time we talked.
Was there a moment for you when you realized that mindset was really important to getting anywhere in life?
Oh, I'm so glad that you asked this because I wanted to say that the reason why I started incorporating mindset into my teaching was when I had to go through a huge transformation in my business, right as a business owner, but also as a speaker of English as a second language communicating publicly.
So there was a point where I felt really stuck in my business.
I felt like I was working really hard and not seeing results.
And I started to ask myself, what am I doing wrong?
Why do I feel this way?
Why do I feel so burnt out?
Why am I not happy?
And I started exploring content online.
And I've learned about thought work, which is mindset work, which is what we're going to talk about.
And personal development.
I started reading all these books and listening to podcasts.
Simply by changing my thoughts, I saw my life. completely changing.
My business was changing.
It started growing.
I showed up more confidently and I started my podcast.
Before that, I only had a YouTube channel.
I was afraid to start a podcast because I was like, yeah, it feels so intimate.
And I felt that as a non-native speaker, you know, I'm going to get stuck.
People are going to pick on my mistakes.
And then I said, you know what, this is my way to grow.
And I did all this mindset work.
And I was able to do that, and that's one of the best things that happened in my business.
So I said okay, if that happened to me, how can I use that experience and teach it to my students and see if they can make changes in how they approach English learning and English speaking?
I love that.
That is so good.
It's so true that in life for everyone, for our listeners, our students, our audience, for us ourselves There are certain things that it seems like the hardest thing to do is actually what we have to do.
But in order to walk right through that, we have to cultivate that mindset beforehand and be doing that ongoing.
Right, Hadar?
I love it.
Okay.
Absolutely.
All right.
So I'm excited to get into your tips.
So Hadar, today you have three tips to help us develop a healthy and powerful mindset.
And I'm excited because on All Ears English, we don't usually address this directly.
We kind of bake it more into our episodes.
Our philosophy is human connection, connection, not perfection.
But I'm excited to go at it directly and get some advice from you, Hadar.
So where do we start with your first tip here?
Okay.
So my first tip would be to acknowledge and identify limiting beliefs and to reframe them.
So really like connection, not perfection, is the outcome of the work that I want your listeners to start doing.
Because sometimes we look at our reality and our life and we take it as it is, right?
We think that what we see around us let's say oh, I'm not talented in learning languages or English is really hard.
And we look at it and we say, these are facts.
This is what life is.
This is what English is.
English is hard or tricky or confusing, or it's draining, or it's hard for me because I'm not talented.
And what if you started noticing that it's not necessarily the reality?
These are not circumstances, because for other, for someone else, that may not be the case, and if it's not the case for someone else, maybe it doesn't have to be the case for you.
So as we grow up and as we are, you know, we live our lives in the world, we start collecting beliefs.
Right, and it's not a reality, it's an, it's something that we think is real, but it's still so.
I want to recognize that sometimes, if we have a thought and that thought is limiting our full potential, it's possible to change that thought.
So, for example, like someone who really feels that they're struggling with their fluency because they have a belief that English is hard for me, or I'm just not in learning languages, or I'm not a native speaker I will never be able to speak fluently, or I don't live in an English speaking country and this is why I cannot progress.
You know, if I make mistakes, people are going to make fun of me.
If I get stuck, I'm going to waste time.
So we have these things that we carry with us all the time.
And what if those thoughts are?
We're different thoughts because ultimately, when you have a negative thought, it leads to a certain emotion.
And when you feel a certain way, you're likely to do things or not do things.
And sometimes all we need to do is to recognize that it's just a thought and to see if we can balance it with a thought that does help us.
So if I make mistakes, people are going to make fun of me.
Let's say that's your limiting belief.
What if you change it? to what I have to say is important in my voice.
Oh, I love that.
Right.
And like it's sometimes, it's just, it's not.
It's easier said than done, but you can only think one thought at a time.
So working on replacing a thought that is limiting you to a thought that is motivating you and making you excited about the work is everything.
Yeah, I think that's a really key point what you just said.
I've never actually thought about that.
You can only think one thought at a time.
So with diligent work and really focusing on this, we can swap.
And the power of that is going to be incredible.
We don't really realize kind of the micro changes that we create in our environment based on those thoughts.
The other piece that came to mind, based on what you just said Adar, is that sometimes we've inherited our parents' thoughts, our family, our partner's thoughts.
And that's not fair, right?
We're not questioning that, right?
Everyone has their own orientation to the world.
So as a first step to start and think, do I really think this?
Or does someone else think this?
Right?
I love that.
Yeah.
And ultimately, those thoughts are designed to keep us safe.
Yes.
Right?
Of course.
If someone was worried about us and they said, oh, don't trust strangers.
Or if know, don't waste your money because because you have to save, or don't spend money on things that you don't need.
Whatever that thought is, it's based on other people's limiting beliefs, and we really do, you know.
Start owning them, especially if it's, you know, our parents or our teachers, or or, and also like sometimes it could be an experience if your third grade teacher made fun of your class and you felt humiliated, right with you as an adult, and you would not speak because you wouldn't want to have that experience again.
Isn't that incredible that our experiences in third grade could affect our adult career?
It's amazing.
It's amazing.
The stories I hear, you know?
Yeah.
That's why I think it's so important what we're talking about today.
I love it.
So the idea is identify them.
And now let's go into your second tip.
So we're talking about one phrase that we can, I'm really curious what this phrase is.
It's so simple.
So every time you recognize a thought because this work is really all about awareness when you recognize a thought, all you need to do is ask yourself so what?
Okay?
So let me explain.
Let's say you have a work meeting and you want to say something, but you're afraid that you're not going to be able to say it properly or that you're going to make mistakes.
And that's the thought.
And immediately what happens is that you avoid speaking.
Right?
I want you to recognize it and to become aware of this thought and then ask yourself, so what?
Right?
If I, you know, I will speak and make mistakes.
So what?
And what comes up?
People are going to think that my English is not good enough.
So what?
I'm going to feel not good enough.
So what?
I'm going to feel humiliated.
So what?
I'm going to avoid speaking.
Right.
Or, you know, so what like what would happen?
And then who's paying the price?
Ultimately, like the impact of your thoughts, they never really impact other people.
We are so used to operating, you know like, or working so hard to make other people happy and to please them and to make sure that they don't feel uncomfortable and they don't feel, you know, or they don't criticize you or they don't judge you.
But so what?
So what if someone thinks that you are not, you know, you're making mistakes?
So what if you're wasting someone's time because you got stuck?
Yes.
Or what if you feel humiliated?
How is that going to impact everything in your life?
But you think if you don't speak, what would happen, right?
What would be the outcome of you not speaking?
You won't, you know, you won't. your opinion.
You would feel like you're not worthy.
If you don't, you won't progress or advance at work.
Always look at the outcome of the two options.
One option is to operate based on that negative thought, right?
One option on what if you did things differently and then see what the outcome would be, right?
So start asking yourself by using this phrase, see where that goes and then make a decision.
What are you going to choose?
So powerful, such a simple phrase adar, but so incredibly powerful, and it's a really good point that we spend so much time making sure we're treating people with respect in our world, but are we spending that same time respecting ourselves, based on what we're saying and what we're hearing ourselves saying, and then our behavior is reflected in that.
This is also really useful As a business owner, right?
You're a business owner as well.
I like the idea of using this, right?
If I try this and it fails, so what?
What will be the status of my company at that point?
Will it really be as bad as I think?
No, of course not, right?
So this can be applied for our listeners, not just in English learning, but in anything we're trying to do.
Any kind of risk that could have fantastic benefits down the road, but we're scared right.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
I love that.
Okay.
So for our listeners guys, write that down.
So what?
Every time you hear yourself holding back, questioning what you're about to say, or just choosing not to participate, or going to say something and you're worried about making a mistake, say to yourself so what?
What if I do make this mistake?
So what?
So good.
What would be the third tip that you have for us today, Hadar?
So the third tip is, um, taking daily action to build a strong and healthy mindset.
So I'm going to give you some suggestions on what you can do daily to work on your mindset.
So the first thing would be to write a gratitude list.
A lot of times people are very resentful of their English and their journey.
And they're so, you know, this is not enough and I haven't progressed enough.
I'm not where I should be.
All that is okay.
And sometimes it's even good, because it pushes you to work harder and to, kind of like, strive for more.
But it's also destructive, because then you're constantly in this state of you know, like resentment towards yourself and towards your wish.
So you need to take time during the day to recognize the things that do work for you.
I always tell my students so write down three things every day that were possible for you because you're able to speak in English.
Whether it's like oh, I had a nice conversation with my neighbor, or I just applied for a new job, or I understood the entire movie completely without having to use subtitles.
Like things that are going well for you that you are happy about.
Because again, We always count all our faults but we never acknowledge our small wins.
So be grateful for that.
Be grateful for what's possible for you.
And generating that positive energy in your day to day.
When it comes to English, it's something that most students are lacking.
And I think that we need to actively incorporate that into our daily lives.
Yeah.
Do you think that that's something that is learned by our listeners younger in life, in school, where it's always about kind of the gaps or what's missing or so much more we have to learn.
We should be so much better.
Or is this?
Maybe this is just the human condition always seeing our gaps?
I think it absolutely has to do with the way English is taught in schools, because to be able to evaluate people they're, you know, they invented the grading system and it's right and wrong because otherwise they wouldn't be able to tell students or parents or, you know, the board of education if someone is doing well.
But language is a lot more fluid.
It's not binary.
It's not always, you know, this or that.
Sometimes you can say the same thing in different ways.
Sometimes you can use different tenses to say the same thing.
So we are, you know, we are brought up thinking or especially if you learn English as a second language, that A.
There is only one way to say it, right.
And B, if you get it wrong, you'll be punished because you lose points.
Yes.
Of course.
And that is not a healthy experience.
Correct.
Language learning or speaking experience.
And we need to acknowledge that.
Like it really messes up.
Yeah.
It's really the wrong, exactly the wrong approach, right?
It's not like math, right?
With math, there's a correct answer.
There's always a correct answer when you're doing math problems, studying science.
But the reality is, with English and with any language, you can reach a fantastic outcome, maybe an even better outcome, even if you're incorrect with your English than if you're perfectly correct, right?
I find that fascinating.
That's what we're saying here.
The gratitude piece is fantastic Hadar, because I mean I have a gratitude journal personally and I use it more, not as much for a language learning journal, but just to remember how thankful I am for what I have in my life.
Every night before I go to bed, I write down three things and it totally it has.
It creates little shifts in my perspective.
Yeah, exactly.
And like, it really, it's a moment where you remind yourself, actually, everything is not that bad.
Correct.
I love that.
Yeah.
And you know.
Be kind to your English and to your journey and have compassion for yourself because you know our English.
Our students are hard workers and they're high achievers.
Otherwise, they wouldn't be doing this.
No one has to learn.
Most people could get by with, you know, doing OK.
But people who are listening to this are people who want more for themselves.
So they're already doing a lot.
And that needs to be acknowledged.
That's a really good point.
If you're a hard worker when it comes to learning English, learning languages, you deserve the full benefits.
And so to get there is addressing these mindset pieces.
The mindset is the piece that's missing.
I love it.
So good, Hadar.
Any final thoughts for our listeners that we can finish up with today?
Any final message?
Well, I think that you know, like I think I mentioned it, remember that your voice matters and it goes way beyond using the right sound or the right grammar form.
And even if you make mistakes, mistakes are a natural part of any conversation.
That's the only way to learn and to grow and to thrive.
So really embrace all of that.
And that's it.
And your voice is important.
I love it.
So good.
So important.
Thank you for coming on today, Hadar.
Can you let us know how our listeners can find you, your podcast, your website, your courses?
Let us know where to go to learn more.
Sure.
So you can just go to hadarshemesh.com.
That's where you'll find basically everything and all my content.
I have a YouTube channel, Accent's Way English with Hadar and the Influency Podcast.
If you're a podcast listener,
So that's where you can find me.
Amazing.
Well, thank you.
Great to see you again.
Thank you for being back on All Ears English and hopefully we'll see you back on the show again soon.
All right.
Thank you so much.
Thanks for inviting me.
Have a good day.
Thank you.
Bye.
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