This is an All Ears English podcast episode 2079.
What ducks can teach us about life and happiness?
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Hey, Lindsay, how are you?
Excellent, Michelle.
What's going on in New York today?
Well, it is hot.
Very, very hot.
Very, very, very, very hot.
Late summer, kind of like, well, really fall now with this episode, right?
Yeah.
But today, whoo, like.
Really?
Yeah.
Oh, you don't want to be outside at all hot.
Oh, my gosh.
OK, so our listeners need to know we are recording this in early September.
But you got those random hot fall days, too.
You never know.
You can for sure.
It's just it sort of surprises you.
It's just hard.
You can't predict the weather anymore, Michelle.
Who knows?
We could be like snowstorm to drought to who knows what.
Right.
Things are getting crazy.
That's true.
That's true.
How's everything with you?
Great.
Feeling good.
The sun is shining here in Denver.
Pure blue skies.
I love it.
Yep.
Very nice.
Very nice.
I always say that now.
No complaints.
But I'm getting into that as a pattern.
But maybe I'll throw something else in there.
To say no complaints other than no complaints.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's becoming a habit.
That's funny.
Everything's fine, Michelle.
Good.
Okay, good.
Well so Lindsay, though I don't know if you remember this, but there was one day we tried – we rarely cancel a recording – yeah rarely right, but recently my kids were sick and i did have to cancel on you and so, but an expression came out of it and we're gonna do an episode about it.
There's always a silver lining michelle, that's right.
So my kids had what's called a hand, foot and mouth.
Um, that's where you get.
Oh, it's gross, it's you get these sores and around your mouth and anyway.
But that's not the point.
But we kept on wanting to believe.
We were at my in-laws and we kept on wanting to believe Oh, it's not that, it's my daughter.
It's the pacifier irritation.
It's this, it's that.
And so my mother-in-law and I were trying to decide what the kids had.
And eventually they both came down with a fever and it was like, okay.
At some point.
Yeah.
At some point.
Yeah.
At some point it happened.
And so the expression that we used was if it looks like a duck.
Okay.
Okay. but we couldn't remember the rest of the expression.
But I feel like most of the time people don't say the whole thing.
But Lindsay, do you know this expression?
What is it?
Well, we have talked before about shortening expressions that are famous.
That's true.
I kind of know this one.
So if it looks like a duck, if it swims like a duck and it quacks like a duck, then it probably is a duck, right?
So really interesting point, right?
You might just say, if it looks like a duck...
And that's it.
I didn't even know the rest of it.
I actually had to look it up.
I think this was from Wikipedia.
I don't know, you know, where I had to look up the rest of the expression exactly how it is.
And I'm sure there are variations of it as well.
But the point of it is, what does it mean?
I wasn't talking about ducks.
Ducks.
You're definitely not talking about ducks.
That could be another episode.
We could talk about ducks.
But today it's more about saying if you if it has like how do I say this?
I'm not sure how to describe this, actually.
If it has the characteristics of something everything is lining up, then go ahead and admit that it probably is this thing.
Don't try to convince yourself it's something else.
Right.
So for my kids being sick, I was like oh, they have a rash, they aren't feeling well, and meanwhile you take all the symptoms on webmd right right, and it's like, you know, even though we were trying because it's a really not a nice one, i like i'm not a nice illness to get, like you know, you're trying, oh well, maybe it's this, maybe it's that, and it's like well, if it looks like a duck, like if, if all the signs are there, everything is pointing to that being what it is, then that's probably what it is.
This is fun, actually.
I wish I don't really use this, to be honest that much, but I wish I had this phrase on hand when we were in Egypt.
And there was a lot of like, it's this, I haven't slept well.
And it was COVID.
And I know it was COVID.
We know it was COVID.
But there was a lot of like, can't be COVID.
And look, if it looks like a duck, you know, we're all getting COVID again now.
It's just happening.
It's coming back around.
Yeah, exactly.
So, you know, and it happens too at home, right?
People are... getting in and saying, I just didn't, you know, I just have a scratchy throat.
No, it's probably COVID.
Right.
It's like, oh, that's too bad.
I'm sorry about that.
Well, I mean, luckily, like, everything was fine.
You know, now...
Luckily, I mean, not for everyone.
Granted, people are still dying of COVID, right?
But I think it has become a little bit more of a milder strain as far as I know.
Maybe there'll be an uptick this fall, but who knows?
Anyways, if it looks like a duck.
Yes, if it looks like a duck, yes.
But I just felt like, oh, I have to do an episode about that one.
And Lindsay, you're right.
It's not one, it's not an expression that you use every day.
It's we want to teach you guys, the ones that you're going to use very frequently, but it's also important to just teach things that will come up.
Like this comes up not every day.
It's a very specialized meaning.
It's so, so it's.
It's fun when you do end up using it.
Unfortunately, I was using a bit about my kids being sick.
They were they're knock on wood, they're like fine, it's been a month or so, but uh yeah, it was just one of those.
Okay, this is so obvious.
Everything is telling me that's what this is.
I think yes yeah, for sure, for sure.
It's kind of a matter of don't tell lies to yourself, like just admit it and Then move on and get the treatment you need, to get the, the medicine you need.
I wonder where this term comes from.
Do we know at all?
No, I didn't look into where it came from.
I was more concerned about the meaning.
But I yeah, I'm sure there's some.
Yeah, I wonder why.
Why do we say that?
Yeah, yeah, for sure.
Michelle.
Are there any other episodes we should check out right now, before we get into today's?
Yeah well, we're getting deep in today's already.
We're like out flying through it.
But yeah, go ahead and listen to episode 2063, which is create a big artsy comparison in english.
That's another great one to listen to and guys, make sure you hit follow wherever you are listening to the podcast, so you never miss anything.
Yes, i love that.
Where do we go from here, michelle?
We got a little jumbled up in our notes.
Yes okay well, i mean.
So let's talk about other scenarios where you might use this, right?
Like I feel, like I said, I think it's used, I don't think of it as a positive expression used about positive things.
I could.
It could be like oh you know, if somebody is waiting for a callback about the job and they think they have it but they're not sure, you could say if it looks like a dog like, but I feel like it has more of a negative feeling about something you don't want to admit, do you think?
Yes, i pretty much agree.
Yeah, i really don't think it would be.
Yeah it's, it's more negative or something that's maybe annoying or something you don't want to be true, it doesn't have to be devastating.
Something small right, but it's when we're not being honest with ourselves.
It's when this phrase comes in.
It's a good time to say it.
Yeah yeah right right, right.
So let's talk about some scenarios.
So maybe In one it could be if someone can't be trusted or someone's personality is being revealed, right.
Yes.
What might that sound like?
She never showed up on time, but I didn't realize she would quit if it looks like a duck.
You know what this reminds me of?
There's an expression.
Isn't Maya Angelou who said this?
I might be misquoting.
It's like if when someone shows you who they are, believe them.
Yeah.
Yes, I do know that one.
Wait, hold on.
Let me look it up.
Here we go.
Let me see.
Yeah.
Yeah, it is Maya Angelou.
I don't know what book it's from or if it was a poem, but that one feels a little more profound and serious than this.
This is more like You're using the word duck.
Like how serious?
Yeah, exactly.
But I think that's the more serious version.
Like if you have someone in your life who's just not treating you right.
Right.
That's what she was kind of talking about.
Yeah.
It makes me think of also there's that book.
Remember, it used to be popular.
Then they made it a movie.
I don't know.
I didn't read it.
I didn't see it.
But it was called He's Just Not That Into You.
Oh my gosh, I love that movie.
You didn't see the movie?
I didn't.
Isn't it with Jennifer Aniston?
Michelle, you have some gaps in your cultural knowledge.
I definitely do too.
Oh my gosh, huge gaps.
But you need to go watch that this weekend.
I think it's with Jennifer Aniston.
There's a few different storylines.
They do like a parallel storyline thing, I think, in that one.
It's great.
It's great.
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
I will.
So?
But do you see why it made like?
It's like oh, he's just like.
The concept is.
You know, sometimes people make excuses.
Oh, they didn't text me back because they didn't get the message.
They didn't have signal.
Oh, they're just really busy right now.
They're you know, and then they just say maybe you know, if the person really likes you, they're going to make an effort.
So this is kind of like completely.
Yeah.
This idea of like, oh, well, if it looks like a duck, it's like, she's not that into you.
Unfortunately, it's so true and this is like I think you know, coming out of years of dating.
This is the number one way I think people deceive themselves right and end up getting hurt because yeah, I think you're right, if someone is really interested in you, they make the effort, they will be there, they will not be canceling dates, they will reply to your text messages, maybe not within three minutes, but like within a day or something.
They'll reply to your texts, and so I think uh, we tend to fool ourselves and tell ourselves lies, right.
This is about being honest with ourselves.
Exactly.
So this next example is if also like I kind of mentioned this already if you're waiting to hear results of something,
So let's do that example.
So I still haven't heard back from the company on if they want to offer me the job.
It's been three weeks.
Well, I hate to.
I hate to say this Michelle, but if it looks like a duck hard, hard and you have to make sure that you're delivering that in the right way, that someone is sensitive about it, make sure you know the person you're talking to.
There's a lot of nuances here Michelle right, especially in that one like yeah yeah, um.
And then this last role play is what we were talking about.
If you're waiting to hear back from someone maybe a date or something so here we go.
Why hasn't he called?
I don't know.
Do you think he will call?
Oh man, I don't know, I hope so.
It's just that i keep texting him and he doesn't respond.
Am i being ghosted?
Eh well, if it looks like a duck, you know he's not right for you anyways, and all of these examples.
That's the interesting part that we mentioned in the beginning.
We're not saying the whole thing.
You just don't have time to say the whole thing.
We don't recommend.
I don't think most people know the whole thing.
Yeah, that's right.
So, but what you need to do michelle, is what's the tone of voice?
Yeah Well, if it looks like a duck, right.
And you don't have to rub it in and be too animated.
But if it looks like a duck and then move on, hey, he's just not right for you anyways.
You can do better.
Right, right, right.
Exactly.
Yeah, exactly.
And I mean, it could be you might be trying to support the person.
It could also be kind of a tough love thing which actually I was thinking we could do a follow up on the expression tough love.
Um, but yeah, so it could you know it.
It really depends on the, like you said, how you use it or if it might just make the person feel bad, but sometimes it's just that you need to accept it.
Right.
Totally.
I think this topic is really interesting because it's about being honest with oneself.
And I think now that I think about it, like now that I'm on, like I'm in my early forties, I think a lot of our twenties and thirties are kind of learning how to be honest with ourselves about so many things in life dating, finding the right partner, finding the right job like if you're going to a job every day that you hate maybe there's a use of this expression or just self-honesty when you're having a conversation with yourself or with a friend right, there's so much to get over that hump in life a little bit, so that by the time we're like in the middle of our lives, we're living our best life, we're living true to what we should be doing, what we love right, that's yeah, I think that's a good point.
Yeah, I think there's a lot of, oh, but maybe this and maybe that.
Maybe he's just afraid.
He's so interested that he's afraid of his emotions.
And so that's why he's not getting back to me.
Like, what?
No.
Oh, he's just a bad boy.
He's a bad boy.
So, I mean, the moral of the story is go watch that movie.
He's just not that into you for sure.
And yeah, this is a key piece of getting older and like getting comfortable in the world, I think.
Interesting.
To be able to recognize the ducks.
The ducks.
This is good.
So Michelle, I feel like, is there anything else we want to say to our listeners?
Any takeaway for today?
Yeah, this is a good life lesson.
It's also a really useful expression.
It's not one that you're going to hear, you know, every single day, but you will hear it.
And also it's just like this.
We also talked about the deeper meaning of it and the life lessons that we can learn from this kind of an expression.
So it's good, good to think about that as well.
Yeah.
These are, I feel, like life in our twenties and thirties.
It presents scenarios and the scenarios say to us you have an option to learn right now.
Learn this lesson or you could keep like deceiving yourself.
Right.
And when we do take the path of I'm going to learn, we can be really happy ultimately.
Yeah.
It's kind of, Profound, wow.
Well, we got deep here.
Oh, it went from ducks to being profound.
Ducks to deep.
Deep ducks, deep ducks.
Anyway, all right.
Well, guys, thank you for listening and we will see you on the next episode.
All right, Michelle, take care.
I'll talk to you soon.
All right, bye.
Bye.
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