This is an All Ears English podcast, episode 1522 a post-Valentine's way to show flexibility in English.
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Now that Valentine's Day is over, let's look at some ways to say in English that you are flexible and that you are not in love with something.
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Hey, Michelle, how's it going?
How are you doing today?
Hey, Lindsay.
I'm good.
I'm good.
How are you?
Oh, my gosh.
It is Monday, February 15th, the day after Valentine's Day.
That's right.
That is right.
Big day.
Big day.
Yeah.
Everyone has different associations with this day.
It's kind of a loaded day for a lot of people, isn't it, Michelle?
Yeah, for sure.
You either love it or you hate it.
Exactly.
Well, I don't know.
I guess I'm kind of just lukewarm on it.
That's a way to say like, you just whatever about it.
I don't know.
What about you?
Yeah, that's kind of how I feel.
Yeah, I'm lukewarm.
It's nice if you have a partner to spend, you know, spend the time with your partner and enjoy.
But you know, if you don't have one, it's not that big of a deal.
It's just a calendar, a date on the calendar.
Like why is the 14th the day that we should celebrate love?
Why not like May 12th or any day?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.
No, it's true.
It's true.
So I don't know.
Yeah, I think sometimes there's like a lot of pressure on that day and people can feel uncomfortable or I don't know.
To me
Yeah, it's kind of it's a fun, it's a fun thing.
But it's also like, There are other fun days as well.
So I don't put too much on that one day.
Totally agree with you.
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That's right.
That is right.
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Exactly.
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Cool.
Definitely.
All right.
Awesome.
So yes, today we are doing kind of an anti-love episode, Lindsay.
Anti-love.
Let's go in that direction.
Let's do it, Michelle.
We're going anti-love today.
Sorry, guys.
So guys, we are going to talk about liking, about not liking something, or the inability to change your mind with expressions that somehow relate to the idea of love, right?
And I wanted to talk about this because well, number one today, you know, day after Valentine's Day,
And the first expression recently came up in a conversation and I realized how useful this expression is.
Oh, okay.
What was the conversation?
Yeah, go ahead, Michelle.
Oh, what was the conversation?
You know what?
I don't remember.
I want to say that it was Dan about we were making a decision, and he said this first expression, which is what I'll share with you in a second.
And this always happens to me.
I mean, lately I'm finding more and more.
In my conversations I'll use an expression, or someone else will use an expression, and I immediately write it down in my phone for all those English you know.
I love that.
That is such a good way to see the world.
We're always thinking about our listeners and how we can make the show more real for you guys, right?
We don't start with the textbook.
We don't start with vocabulary lists on the internet.
We start with our own conversations as native speakers, right?
Exactly.
Exactly.
So Lindsay, do you want to let's reveal the expression?
What is it?
Yes, I love it.
So it looks like the expression is I'm not married to something, right?
So Michelle, are we talking about a person here?
No, not in this situation.
Right.
So it means it.
I mean, yes, it could be literally like, oh, I'm not married to Jessica, you know.
Right.
But in this way, we're using it more to say that you're not officially attached to something.
Right.
So if you're married, you're attached.
So we say you're not married to something, not just about like a person, but about an idea or a thought or a potential decision.
Right.
So you could say, I'm not married to the idea or I'm not.
Right.
So we're going to talk about how you would use this.
Would you use this expression, Lindsay?
Oh, my God.
This is such a connection skill, Michelle.
It's a connection skill, guys.
It's going to fill in the gaps in your skills because when you make a suggestion –
Unless you want to basically have people keeping their distance from you.
You need to be a little bit open to whether or not it's a good suggestion or not.
You say, oh, we could have Italian food tonight, but I'm not married to that idea.
I'm also open to Thai food or pizza.
It's so important to show your flexibility.
Otherwise, no one wants to...
Be around you.
Yeah, you don't want to be too rigid, stuck in your ways, right?
Yeah.
So, I mean, when might we use this?
Let's give a couple examples.
I mean, one that I thought of is like when you're deciding on clothes, right?
Maybe you're shopping or something.
So you could say something like oh, I was going to wear this black dress, but if you don't think it's appropriate, that's fine.
I'm not married to it.
Yeah.
And this would be important.
For example, if you're going to someone's party or maybe you're a guest of honor or maybe you're like a bridesmaid in a wedding and you wanted to wear certain earrings but you're not sure if they fit into the look of the wedding.
Right right right right exactly, exactly.
Um, and that can be.
If a bride hears oh, i'm not married to that.
You know like oh, i want to wear these earrings but i'm not married to it.
You know, that's kind of, it's kind of a relief, then right for the, you know that they don't have to feel like a bridezilla and say i don't like that.
You know, it's their way to say you know what okay yeah thanks, Yeah.
It's also kind of a fun way to slip in a little pun, Michelle.
You are the queen of puns.
I'm not married to it.
Exactly.
I do get it.
I do get it.
I love it.
So that's a good one.
Lindsay, I think this can also be used in the business world, right?
Or in the academic world.
So, for example, at work, let's say you're editing a project or you're in a meeting.
What's something you could say, Lindsay?
Oh, for sure.
For example, you could say, I can delete this paragraph.
You know, I'm not married to it.
So, as you're talking or maybe you know, you guys just did a web class Aubrey and Michelle, you guys together at the end of January.
Maybe you edited those slides together and one of you came up with an idea and you said oh, we could try this slide, but I'm not married to it.
I'm open to taking it out or in.
Yeah.
Right, right, right.
Or like, let's say we're editing it together.
Yeah.
Like you said, it was like, oh, can I delete this or are you married to it?
It's like another kind of another way to phrase it.
Awesome.
I love it.
This is really advanced and natural, Michelle.
I love it.
So good.
What's another time you might use it?
So another really good one is when we're talking about our plans in the future, maybe with a partner or a friend or someone important in your life, where you have to come together on the plans.
Okay.
So, for example, you could say, it's okay.
I understand if you don't think it's the right move for us.
I'm not married to the idea.
Maybe, for example, you and one partner wants to move abroad.
Right.
And the other partner maybe isn't so sure.
This would be a good example of making a life decision together.
Yes.
Yes, yes, yes.
Exactly.
Exactly.
So that's a good one.
So, all right.
So guys, we both, Lindsay and I both use this expression.
I'm not married to this.
I'm not married to that.
What's something else, Lindsay, you could say? guys it's finally coming in just a few weeks it's the android app that you have been waiting for and will need beta testers get on the exclusive list to get invited to be a beta tester with your android device to help us with testing so that we together can build this app Go to allearsenglish.com forward slash Android to get your name on the exclusive early invite list. allearsenglish.com forward slash Android.
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Well, continuing on the theme of love.
Anti-love.
Or anti-love because it's the day after Valentine's Day.
We could say, guys, I'm not in love with it.
Or I'm not in love with this idea.
Another way of saying basically the same thing.
You're not attached to it, okay?
Right.
I mean, this one could be used in a little bit.
This one is a little bit more direct in my opinion, right?
It's like, I mean, it's basically a nice way to say I don't like it, right?
Yes, yes.
Yes.
Like, so I feel like it's a little bit different from the last one.
Yes.
That one's saying like, oh, maybe it's saying like, I like it, but I'm not attached to this.
This one is just kind of saying…
It's a nice way to say, not really for me, right?
Yeah, it's about your feelings towards the thing, not necessarily your attachment.
I like that.
It's a slight distinction, Michelle, but our listeners, they're ready for it.
They're ready to know these distinctions.
Yeah, for sure.
So, I mean, guys, when would you use this?
So like, for example, let's say, you're making a decision where you don't really like either option, right?
So you could say something like, well, I'm not in love with it, but it's better than our first plan.
Yeah, so common.
Maybe you are choosing accommodation situation, like maybe a hostel versus like a scrappy old hotel.
You're trying to save money.
Right.
Right.
Yes.
Let's say on a budget plan, right?
Oh, let's go with this scrappy old hotel.
I'm not in love with it, but it's better than the hostel.
Okay.
We've been going through some of our old because there's no traveling going on.
We always like have really fun vacation videos.
I know.
Yeah.
Yeah, and the other day we were feeling kind of down, you know, missing travel.
And so we decided to watch one of our videos.
And we were just reminiscing about, like, the worst places we've ever stayed and things like that.
And it's kind of fun to think back on that.
Give us an example, Michelle.
Where's the worst place you've ever seen?
Is this in Japan or somewhere?
No, it was in London, actually.
Oh, interesting.
It was – I mean, the bathroom wasn't in the room, which was fine.
Okay.
So, you know, it was a cheap place.
Holloway bathroom.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
It was a hallway bathroom.
And that doesn't really work for me because I have to get up to go to the bathroom, like, 40 times.
So, like, it's not so easy.
It causes me a lot of anxiety.
So, but the shower was in the room.
Just the shower and, like, a random sink.
And the shower when we got there, we still remember it was freezing cold.
Oh, no.
And just the place was kind of falling apart.
But we but we we look back on it.
And we just, you know, it's just you kind of look back at it with fond memories in the weird way.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It brings you closer to whoever you're traveling with.
And it's a memory.
I mean, it makes for a story, right?
Exactly.
Exactly.
What about you?
What's like the worst place?
Oh, my gosh.
I think when I was traveling in South America and Colombia, I rented a room where there was no actual mattress.
It was just a board.
Like the bed was a board.
Okay.
You win.
You win.
Okay.
And I didn't realize it until I was there ready to go to sleep.
So I was like, okay, I guess I'm sleeping on a board.
How did that go?
It didn't feel too great, but I was 27.
It's fine.
It's fine.
You were how old, did you say?
Like 27.
I can handle it.
Yeah.
You can do anything when you're 27.
It's okay.
Exactly.
Exactly.
All right.
So awesome.
Another time you can use this, Lindsay, would be a design you're deciding on.
So maybe for a graphic designer's work, right?
So what do you think about this, Lindsay?
Yeah.
For example, I love it.
So maybe you hire someone to do a remodel of your kitchen, right?
And that person's you know.
You say I'm not in love with the second one, but the third one is really attractive.
Maybe that designer comes to your house with samples and you're trying to articulate what you like and what you don't.
Exactly.
Exactly.
That can be really helpful.
Or another one could be a parent to a child, to their child about their plans.
So you could say like I'm not in love with the idea of you going on this trip with those friends, but maybe we can talk about it more later.
Yeah.
So again, not trying to say you can't go because you don't want to be that parent, right?
But you're trying to show your preferences and how you feel.
Yeah.
So good.
So good.
Exactly.
Exactly.
So we have one more.
What is this one, Lindsay?
I'm not committed to it, right?
So this is saying that you could be swayed.
And that's a bonus phrase for today, Michelle.
What does that mean?
Swayed.
Exactly.
It's like you can be changed, like someone could change your mind.
Yes, you can be swayed.
The swaying, you know, like on YouTube, you can see me swaying like I can be moved, you know?
Exactly.
Exactly.
Are you easily swayed Michelle, when it comes to like I don't know ideas decisions, things you want to do?
Or are you usually like more stubborn and like you just have what you know, what you want to do and you're going to do it?
I think I'm more open.
I don't think I'm too, too stubborn about things.
I think I'm more like I can't decide what I want.
So if I could decide what I want, maybe then I would commit.
But if I can't decide, then I'm like, oh, well, maybe that, maybe that.
I don't know.
What about you?
I'm the same way.
I definitely can be swayed just because sometimes I just don't know.
You know, when it comes to choosing what to eat.
I don't know.
I could eat Italian pizza.
Anything's good.
Anything's good.
I'm okay.
I don't really care.
You know, sometimes.
Right.
That's how I am.
That's how I am.
I'm like, oh, everything sounds good to me.
But sometimes I feel like I would like to, you know, be able to make decisions easier.
Right.
Because people get annoyed with that.
Like they'd prefer that you're just like, I want this.
And that's it because other people struggle with the same thing.
Right, right, right.
My best friend and I, unfortunately, we're both like this.
So we always joked, you know, like when we had to decide what do we want to eat?
I mean, it would take us an hour just to decide because we're like, oh, that's awful.
That's the worst.
But yeah, guys, I think we did another episode with words like committed or a commitment.
So you might want to put that in the search bar and check for that one.
I don't have the episode number now.
Yeah, remember, guys?
Oh, actually, I do.
I do.
It's written down.
Okay.
What is it?
It's episode 1438, how to use the word commitment to maintain privacy and be concise.
That's it.
Awesome.
And guys, if you're in the iOS app, remember just type that into the search bar at the top of the episode list and it'll pull that up right away for you.
Okay, cool.
Any other episodes that tie in today, Michelle, with any previous episodes?
I mean, we've done so many All Ears English episodes.
Yes.
Yes, yes, yes.
There's also a Valentine's Day love one.
I don't know if it was from Valentine's Day, but it's about love.
It's 1184, How to Express Your Love in English.
1104 or 1184?
It looks like 1104.
Oh, 1104.
Did I say 84?
You did.
Okay.
And I think there we even talked about like being in love with, right?
So you hear that there.
Love it, guys.
There's so much you can get in our archives.
So make sure you go back and check out those old episodes and then come back to the present day episodes.
Awesome.
Exactly.
So just with, I'm not committed.
You know you could use this to show a coworker that you're flexible.
So you could say something like, if you think we should start with the graphs, we can.
I'm not committed to anything yet.
So I'm open to lots of ideas.
Yeah, exactly.
You know, or saying that you can change your plans.
For example, if you want to go to the gym first, that's fine.
I'm not committed to studying first.
This one feels to me a little bit more formal.
What Yeah.
I mean, it does feel – yeah.
I think it does sound a little bit more formal.
I agree with you.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Very cool.
So we've got about – so what's the takeaway then for today, Michelle?
What should we leave our listeners with?
Guys, so these are great, less direct ways to express your opinions, right?
And maybe talk about your plans.
Sorry, I started reading.
What?
That's okay, Michelle.
Are you there?
Are you there?
Yes, I'm here.
I'm here.
I'm back.
I'm back.
Okay.
So guys, you know, I'm actually curious in your language do you kind of do similar things with expressions or words relating to love.
And does it kind of seep into parts of your language that aren't necessarily about like oh, Valentine's Day love, but something else.
Yes.
Also, like Lindsay said earlier, these are huge connection skills, right?
The idea to show that you're open, or the idea to not say that you don't really like something, but be nice about it, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, for sure.
I mean, there's a time and a place to be adamant and to be stubborn and to know what you want.
But a lot of times it's good to throw something out there and then see how people respond and be easily swayed to build that relationship that you want.
I think, Michelle.
Exactly.
I agree with you, Lindsay.
Well, this has been fun.
Yeah, Michelle.
And how can our listeners show us some love?
What can they do?
Please, guys, hit subscribe wherever you're listening to All There's English.
Or if you're on YouTube, hit subscribe there or both.
Yes.
Awesome.
Guys, we appreciate you and happy Valentine's Day.
Yes.
I hope you had a good one.
Have a nice day, everyone.
All right, Michelle.
Take care.
Talk soon.
Bye.
All right.
Bye.
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