This is an All Ears English podcast, episode 1418.
Do you have a chip on your shoulder?
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What can you say when you are holding feelings of resentment and anger towards someone?
Today get the natural and native ways to say it in English.
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Hey, Lindsay.
How's it going?
Hey, Michelle.
Feeling good.
Feeling good.
What about you?
I'm feeling good.
I'm feeling good.
But I have a chip on my shoulder.
Oh, my gosh.
That is not good.
Not a good thing.
What does that even mean?
You have a potato chip?
No.
I know you like French fries and maybe potato chips.
I do.
Oh, my gosh.
I'm so frustrated because I've been really, you know, trying to eat healthy foods.
But the problem is then every once in a while Dan ordered something and I'm like, no.
So he just ordered you know my weakness is – french fries chips.
So he just ordered, like a bag of chips, and to me that's that's the worst one, because even like we have french fries that sometimes we'll make but that you have to like, put it in the oven, it's a whole thing, but the bag of potato chips is just so easy to get into.
He knows your weakness.
He knows your weakness.
He's trying to tease you or something.
I don't know.
So it's good.
Just before we started recording, I was like hanging out with the potato chips.
And it's a good thing that we're recording, because they're so far across the room and I'm tethered to my computer.
And you can't eat while you record, really.
Right, exactly.
There was that one time.
I have heard you trying to eat while you record, but...
I think it was only one time.
And it's funny because I was thinking before we started because it's like 1.30 my time.
Yeah, not a good idea.
Maybe unless it was like very soft bread.
No, no.
Maybe then no one would know.
I'm just joking.
No, I'm not going to do it.
Don't worry.
So, guys, we're not talking about potato chips today.
I actually don't have a chip on my shoulder.
I'm feeling fine.
But we do want to talk about this expression chip on your shoulder, because our Instagram follower LucasEnest, just wrote, I think we were asking about do you have any things that you –.
I have questions about in English and Lucas wrote chip on your shoulder.
It's weird.
That's such a well said, you know, short, concise question.
I love the conciseness of that.
And I
I love the honesty of it.
Like, it's true.
And I like the playfulness of it just because I think there's also like a little smiley face there.
Yeah.
And we should recognize when things are just weird in our own language.
And I love that.
And I think that kind of attitude is good.
Very cool.
Thanks, Lucas, for that question.
And guys, if you are following us on Instagram, you can ask questions like these.
So make sure you follow our Instagram channel, All Ears English, okay?
Awesome.
Cool.
So I love this.
So guys, before we get started, just listen to these episodes, because these could be helpful as well.
So we have episode 892.
Does someone have it in for you?
How to talk about grudges in English.
So that's a good one.
And then in the 1300s, Lindsay, what do we have?
Yeah.
So 1360, become a smart aleck with these tips on English names.
That was an interesting one, because we talked about names like actual people's names, and then what they mean in English and different phrases.
Really, really unique, guys.
You're not going to find that in any textbook, I can guarantee you.
So go and check those out.
And remember to get the transcriptions too, guys.
You know, if you don't have an iOS device, you could always subscribe by email, because we deliver them by PDF for the entire week, every Monday.
So go to allearsenglish.com slash subscribe to sign up there.
Okay, cool.
Definitely.
All right.
So what does it mean to have a chip on your shoulder and not a potato chip?
It just means that you're bitter because something has happened, you know?
Yeah.
So we talked about this feeling of being better, like a bitter Bob in episode 1360.
So again, listen to that one.
But yeah, like you said, you're fit.
You're bitter.
Maybe you're feeling a little bit aggressive or negative.
And I feel like somebody with a chip on their shoulder is kind of potentially likely to get in an argument if somebody says the wrong thing.
Yeah.
I mean, yeah, this is passive aggressive, right?
It's passive aggressive 101.
You have to talk things out before you have the chip on your shoulder.
If you realize you have that chip, you got to talk it through with the person, right?
Or deal with it, because otherwise you could yeah, you could unleash something and you could damage a relationship.
So not good.
We don't want that.
So let's give some examples of how this is used.
What's the first one, Lindsay?
Okay, so Martha had a chip on her shoulder because she didn't get into her school's choir.
She wouldn't see any of their performances.
Yeah.
She kind of had it out for them.
Yeah.
Or I could say, why do you have a chip on your shoulder today?
I thought we were over our fight.
Yeah.
Or she was really entitled and had a chip on her shoulder which made others not want to be around her.
Yeah.
Not a good place.
Also not healthy for you.
Not good for your health.
No, definitely not.
Definitely not.
You I definitely think that you will hear this.
But there are other ways to express this as well.
And we'll talk about.
You know how they relate to the chip on your shoulder, if they're similar or different.
But what's the first one, Lindsay?
OK, so this idea of a bad attitude.
So I don't know what is wrong with him, but he has a bad attitude today.
That could be.
You know, parents could say that about their kid, or like you could say that about your partner.
You kind of have a bad attitude.
What's up?
What's going on?
That sort of thing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely.
And I think this one is very similar to chip on your shoulder, except maybe sometimes you just have a bad attitude, not because you're bitter, but you're just like yeah, you know, sometimes you just feel like you're in a bad mood for me.
Sometimes the weather does that to me.
Luckily, out here in Colorado it's kind of always sunny and blue skies like every day, so I don't have that as much anymore.
But like, sometimes the weather can bring you down, I don't know.
Yeah Oh, I totally agree.
And it's funny that you already, in your discussion of the first one, you used the second one.
So that's in a bad mood or moody.
That's how we know we're teaching our listeners natural English, Michelle.
I love them.
I love when that happens.
I mean, yeah, same idea.
Yeah, so I don't mean to be rude.
I'm just in a bad mood.
Yeah, and that's good to have that self-awareness and be able to articulate that in English, guys.
When you are, you know, it's not about them.
Just be like, it's my issue.
You know, I'm a little moody today.
I'm not trying to be rude.
Just, you know, maybe I need a second to take a break.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, definitely.
Oh my gosh, that's good.
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And so this next one, this one to me is like very much like chip on your shoulder.
So this is resentful.
Yeah, I'm a bit resentful because they always flake out on plans.
So why should I try to adjust my schedule?
Yeah.
So that that one feels a little more serious.
And that's more about the chip.
Like you said, that's more about something that someone else did.
Because I feel like the first two are not necessarily about they don't have to be about what someone did.
But resentful is more about like, they've done something bad.
And I resent that.
Yeah.
So yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely.
And what's the next one, Lindsay?
I love this one.
Crabby.
Crabby.
I bet your son gets crabby sometimes, right?
He does.
He definitely does.
All kids do.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, yeah, this is also just like bad mood.
Like, so they were crabby about the fact that the store ran out of what they wanted.
Another scenario that this makes me think of is definitely when I'm really hungry.
I actually don't really like brunch, as I've made clear on this podcast a bunch of times, because I get crabby, because I'm hungry and I don't want to wait until 1 pm to eat lunch.
Then if I show up for brunch and I'm already hungry and there's a line, I go nuts.
I go nuts, that's so funny.
Okay awesome, yeah.
And then the last one is I like this one.
Yeah, I woke up on the wrong side of the bed.
Good one, give us an example, Michelle Okay.
I didn't mean to be like that.
I guess I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed.
Yeah.
And this one is really embedded in our culture.
You'll hear it in our movies, in our books, in our phrases, in our songs.
It's everywhere, guys.
So yeah.
Yeah, definitely.
I love it.
Yeah.
So chip on your shoulder.
I mean, it's almost like you have a grudge or have it out for someone, which is another bonus.
But yeah, I mean, do you hear this phrase a lot?
Which one?
A chip on your shoulder?
Yeah.
Yeah, I do.
I mean, I think I hear it or I think about it a lot too, right?
If someone just something seems to be going on.
Yeah, I'd say it's a big part of our culture.
So it was a good question.
Yeah.
Yeah, for sure.
And Lindsay, I mean you were kind of talking about this before, like how it's unhealthy to have a chip on your shoulder to be resentful.
So how can we avoid, you know, getting a chip on our shoulder?
What are some things we can do, do you think?
Yeah, I mean, I think first of all, deal with it, right?
Address it directly.
So I think a lot of this comes from people harboring feelings of anger towards someone.
But actually, you just need to sit down with the person.
First of all, sit down with yourself.
What am I dealing with?
What is this triggering?
Maybe if it's something more serious.
And then once you have that collected, sit down and talk with the person.
It's not festering.
Is that the word?
Festering?
It's not.
It's not like kind of boiling up inside you because we're responsible for that ourselves, I think.
Right, right.
Yeah, no, I totally agree.
Yeah, we got to get it out there.
And, you know, just practice being grateful as well.
I think that can help get rid of a lot of negative energy.
Oh, gratitude practice is huge.
Do you have a gratitude journal?
That's always a good thing to do.
I don't, but I journal in so many ways.
I just, oh my gosh, I'm so messy with the journals.
I think I've told you that I keep one of those five-year journals, or I think I did an Instagram post about it.
Yeah, like one of those one line of days.
And now i started a separate like google drive journal about specific things my son does and like, because i'm like well, dan like doesn't do any of it.
Like, he's so bad he's really good with photos but i like i'm like oh, you have to start like videos too.
I thought yeah, he does amazing.
He does amazing videos over vacations.
He's amazing.
But yeah,
So anyway, practice being grateful.
So in a way, it's not a gratitude journal that I have, but in a way like just kind of like taking note and being like this is what I did.
It's like if I think, oh, maybe this was a bad day, then I start to write down what happened.
I'm like, oh, that was kind of a moment of joy that I didn't think about, you know?
It's amazing the power of that.
It is powerful.
Powerful when you do that, that just that journaling, that joy journaling or gratitude journaling.
Like right now, in this particular season I'm kind of off of my gratitude journal, but in the winter I was on it and I could feel that shift.
It's almost like the same value as meditating for 15 minutes a day.
It's amazing the shift and In your overall feeling of optimism and just feeling solid and positive.
It's incredible.
Yeah.
For sure.
For sure.
Yeah, I love that.
And what's another thing that we could do to avoid having these negative feelings?
I mean, empathy, right?
Seeing things through the eyes of other people is always a good thing.
And really, I feel like it's a key skill.
You know, nowadays we need that.
Oh my gosh.
Especially communicating online and things like that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Awesome.
And then I think finally is take a deep breath.
You know, you...
Just breathe, right?
If things aren't going well, just breathe and like realize like, almost like, visualize like that so-called chip on your shoulder like melting off, you know.
Yeah, for sure.
For sure.
I love that.
So good.
Good tips.
Michelle, what's a takeaway for our listeners today?
Well, guys, I mean, this is a chip on your shoulder.
That expression is a great way to describe unfortunate behavior or feeling about someone.
So, you know, definitely feel free to use it.
But know that, like if you say it to someone, like if I said to you like, let's say, you got on a recording.
And you like seemed to like, you just seemed a little bit off.
And I like, how would you feel if I said to you, Lindsay, you have a chip on your shoulder.
No, no, you wouldn't say that directly to someone.
No, no, no.
It's more like I would use it to describe my feeling about something.
Right.
Or yeah, it just wouldn't work if you call out someone in that way.
You, We can do another episode of what to say if someone feels a little off, right?
Right, right, right.
It's like you have to be very, very close and comfortable with somebody to call out their moods.
So like, let's say, like Dan came in and I could joke with him and I'd be like oh, you're crabby today.
Like as a joke.
But even still, like, people do not like getting called out on their moves.
No, no, because...
Because it kind of feels like an invasion sometimes, right?
Like, I don't know why that is.
But anyways, good topic.
More on that another day.
Yeah, more on that another day for sure.
Yeah, good stuff, guys.
Yeah, check this out.
I mean, these are great phrases.
And also, I mean, I love the idea that like we just things are our own responsibility.
I really do believe that.
It's hard to believe in the moment, but if I'm harboring feelings I have to go inward and think like what's going on with me?
What's getting triggered?
Like, how can I work through this first on my own?
Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah.
I love that, Lindsay.
That's a good point.
Yeah.
Well anyway guys, I hope that you can breathe in and breathe out and let go of any negative energy that you were holding on to today from this, now that you've listened to this episode.
And Lindsay, thanks for hanging out today.
Yeah, good stuff.
And before we jump off Michelle, I just want to remind our listeners guys, if you want those transcripts, you can have them.
You can understand how to spell all these words and how to really use them with those transcripts.
And if you don't have iOS, you could always sign up by email. allearsenglish.com slash subscribe.
And on there you would save 50 on the price of buying it and subscribing, instead of buying each week individually.
Okay.
Very cool.
Awesome.
Okay, Lindsay.
Thanks again.
I'll talk to you later.
All right.
Take care.
Bye.
Bye.
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