This is an All Ears English podcast, episode 137.
Be more likable with these six English phrases.
Welcome to the All Ears English podcast where you'll finally get real native English conversation and fluency for business and life.
We believe in connection, not perfection when it comes to learning English.
Now, here are your hosts.
Lindsay McMahon, the English adventurer, and Michelle Kaplan, the New York radio girl, coming to you from Boston and New York City, USA.
Wanna be more likable when you speak English?
Today, Lindsay and Michelle share five things you can say that will make people like you more.
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How's it going, Michelle?
How are you today?
I'm good.
I'm good.
How are you?
So I'm doing well.
Michelle, do you think that you're a pretty likable person, a very direct.
It's such a funny question to ask someone like it is a funny question.
Yeah, i mean what am i supposed to say no, like i.
I mean i, you know, i i'm not gonna insult myself.
And then if you say yes, you sound like you're, i know, i know.
No, i think you're, i hope so, i think so.
I think our listeners love you.
Oh my gosh, thank you, and you too.
So I mean, what is it about?
You know?
What is it that likable people do right?
That's what we're talking about today.
And I wonder if our listeners I think they'd really like to know this, because there are certain things in our native languages that make us likable.
Versus in English, it might be totally different.
What do you think about that?
Hmm.
Yeah, yeah, definitely.
I mean, I think, overall to make you likable, you know you have to show that you're interested in other people and that you're a good listener, things like that.
Funny, things like that.
But then there are certain phrases, I think, in general that...
Kind of make people realize you're a nice person.
They're kind of drawn to you.
Yeah.
Do you think you mentioned funny?
Do you think you have to be funny to be likable?
I feel like that's a hard one because I don't think I'm very funny.
I think you're funny.
You do?
No, I'm not.
I'm definitely not funny.
Maybe like a very simple kind of funny.
I am.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Of course, you don't have to be funny to be likable, but I think it's kind of like a.
It's a quality that people it's like yeah, I do.
I do think it's a likable quality when someone's funny.
Yeah, absolutely.
So guys, in today's episode, I mean, Michelle, what are we doing today?
What are we going to show our listeners?
Guys, today we're talking about phrases that are going to help make people like you in English.
Yeah, this is going to be great.
So guys, get out your pen and paper.
Get ready to write these down, because you want to be using these in every conversation you have with a native speaker.
This is how to make people like you.
It's this easy.
What's the first phrase, Michelle?
Well, I love this one.
It's how about you?
Yes.
Guys, this is better kind of when you're like in the middle of a discussion, right?
So because people, like I said – want to share about themselves and how they feel about something.
So this gives them that opening, it shows that you're interested in what they're saying.
And so that will in turn make them kind of feel, oh okay well, this person, you know, respects me and is interested in me and what I have to say.
And I like that.
What happens if you don't use this?
I mean, what ends up happening?
Well, then it would just be you talking to a wall.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's really not a conversation.
I know.
So this is an easy one just to throw in there, if you get the sense that yeah, you've been talking for a while.
It's time to turn it back to the other person.
Maybe the person's eyes are starting to wander.
Yeah.
Right.
And they you need to ask them about themselves.
So asking someone about themselves or saying how about you is the way to do that, guys.
I love that, Michelle.
What's the second one?
The next one, and this is, you know, something I think we'll probably talk about in the future too more right.
Using the person's name.
Yes.
Yeah, so this shows you know Lindsay, this shows that you care, you know.
If you remember the person's name, it shows that you care about them, right?
So if you use their name.
It shows you're interested.
It shows that you have a stake in who they are.
And so this could be a good thing Lindsay, to try, and you know, put their name in at the beginning, or maybe at the end of whenever you're talking.
But don't be afraid to ask for someone's name again if you forget it.
Yeah.
Try and do it sooner in the relationship and the encounter than later when it's a little too late.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Don't use it too much, because that starts to sound weird right right yeah lindsay oh lindsay oh, it's too much, it starts to sound over like overly intimate or too intense.
So just once at the beginning, once at the end is a really good way.
But yeah, i think there's a famous quote, something like nothing's sweeter than the sound of someone's own name.
Right, i've heard that somewhere.
I don't know who says it, but someone does, and it's so true right, michelle?
Yeah, people like to hear their name.
Whenever somebody does use my name, it does make my ears kind of perk up like, oh.
Yeah, it does.
It's a very unique feeling to hear your own name.
I don't know if there's anything like it.
You know what I mean?
In terms of your everyday experience.
It just adds that extra value.
And I want to say one thing here.
If you feel like you don't understand the person's name, the pronunciation of the person's name, don't let that be a barrier to using their name.
Ask them.
I just had this conversation yesterday.
I was on the phone with someone.
To be honest, I've been working with this person for a while.
And I was mispronouncing their name.
I wasn't sure how to pronounce their name.
I had heard it pronounced by them in two different ways. by them themselves.
So I was really embarrassed because... And finally, it was Monday morning.
I was on the phone.
I was exhausted from the weekend.
I was feeling good, but I was just... hey, look, how do I pronounce your name?
I'm embarrassed.
I just was honest.
I said, I'm mortified that I've never understood how to pronounce your name properly.
We've been working together for more than a year.
And I said it, and I think he really appreciated it.
And it got us closer.
It deepened our business relationship.
So don't be afraid to ask for that.
Definitely.
That's actually very important.
And we could talk about that another time more.
For sure, how important it is to, you know, really make sure you know how to say someone's name.
Exactly.
So just cut through all of the stuff in your head and ask the question, guys.
All right, Michelle, what's the next one?
All right, this is about sir, words like sir and ma'am in the US, right?
So, you know, this is – these words are a little bit –
Formal for the Northeastern United States or maybe the West Coast, right?
So, like, you wouldn't really say this in Boston or New York.
Yeah.
But in other parts of the U.S., it's very common.
Yeah, it's pretty common, I would say.
I think it just depends on who you're talking to.
I hear this more in the South, don't you?
In the Southern US?
Right.
Yep.
Right.
And it also depends.
Are you talking to a customer, which would be more common to use miss or start?
Right.
Or just a friend?
Right.
You generally wouldn't use it with a friend anywhere, right?
Would you?
What do you think?
No.
No, I mean, unless you're joking, there's a, I've talked to you about Peloton.
Peloton, yeah.
There's an instructor he's like one of the greatest ones and he always goes.
No, ma'am like about different things.
But that's like more like you know, not his catchphrase, but something that's like charming about him.
I don't, unless you're joking, yeah.
I see.
OK, so try to generally avoid sir and ma'am unless you're in a very formal business situation.
Right now, the next one, Michelle, what is it and what do you think about this?
Oh, yeah, this is this is an interesting one.
It's not one that many people think about a lot, but I have heard, you know, certain people's opinions on this.
So, saying, you know, you're welcome is better than saying no problem, right?
Because this idea is that when you say no problem, you're saying that what you just did for that person was easy and it wasn't anything to you.
Although I think of more…
I don't know, maybe this is also touching on another reason why some people don't like it is, like, if you say, oh, no problem, it's like, oh, well... was should it have been a problem like was I asking something that could have been problematic but you're just you know what I mean yeah exactly by so it's this is interesting this is something I don't I all you're right Michelle I don't hear this very much this advice it's kind of thinking about English on a deeper level here But you're welcome is a classic.
You can't go wrong with it.
And it is nice.
It means you've cared to take the time to do the thing, and then you take the time to say you're welcome.
It's more polite in a way.
Yeah.
I mean sometimes, when I'm writing an email, I try and stop myself from doing no problem or for saying it.
But I don't think that people actually really care.
But I do think in general your welcome is better.
Yeah, I agree.
This is not going to be a make or break for someone liking you, right?
If you say no problem, they're still going to like you guys.
But try your welcome more often.
Make it more of a habit.
It's just kind of a tidier way to speak, I think.
Yeah, love it.
Anything else, Michelle?
Sure.
This last one is interesting.
So saying, what would you like me to do?
So this is direct, right?
It's like you're trying to hint at someone.
So I could see this going either way.
Like if somebody says like Oh, if you're kind of saying, oh yeah, I think it would be, and they're just like, oh well, what would you like me to do?
You know, it could be seen as like, okay, like, talk, you know, like, what are you like, what are...
You know, I think it could be seen in that way, kind of a Brockton.
But I think, if you say it in the right way, you know like you say it, and then you're just like oh well okay well, what would you like me to do?
I think that's different.
Yeah, that's a good point.
It's all about the tone of voice.
We can add some language around here, guys.
We could say, okay, so just to clarify, what exactly would you like me to do?
We could do something like that, right?
Just making it clear that you need clarification.
Where would you see this being used, Michelle?
Maybe at work.
Yeah, I would say, right?
That's what that's the first thing that came up in my mind.
Yeah, I would say at work probably, if you're talking to a manager or boss or something and you're kind of unclear, they're not being articulate or clear.
You need to know what you need to do, right?
So asking for that clarification in a direct way can definitely help a lot, I would say.
Yeah, I agree.
I agree.
I think that's a good one.
I love it.
All right, Michelle, this has been good.
I mean, overall, any thoughts on becoming more likable?
Be nice, be confident in yourself and be yourself.
Yeah, I mean, I think in the end it doesn't really.
It does come down to language, but it also comes down to just being kind right.
Treating people with respect.
That's what I would say.
I think so too.
I think so too.
And our listeners are kind people.
And we know that you will do this.
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All right.
All right.
Awesome.
And guys, make sure you tune into the next episode.
And we're going to keep talking about some awesome things that we've learned over the years on how you can become more fluent and, most importantly, connect in English.
All right, cool.
We're out of here for today, Michelle.
Talk soon.
All right.
Bye, Lindsay.
Have a great day.
Bye.
Bye.
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