For a long time, food waste has just felt overwhelming to me.
It was a problem I did not know how to solve.
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Fridge cleanouts used to feel discouraging when I saw so much going straight into the trash.
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Gretch.
You and I both love Whole Foods Market, and Whole Foods Market is a perfect place to plan an indulgent and romantic evening at home.
From gorgeous flowers to no antibiotics ever, steaks and special gifts like bath bombs, you will find everything you need for an unforgettable night at Whole Foods Market.
You don't have to make a reservation at a restaurant.
You can just create a beautiful night at home.
Plus, they've got a great wine selection, so you can add a bottle of wine to your romantic evening.
Of course, you have to be 21 years or older for that, and you must drink responsibly.
Right.
And they also have flowers.
The Whole Foods Market floral department has tons of gorgeous quality flowers with large blooms, vibrant colors and strong stems.
Just the thing for a romantic night.
You don't need to make a special trip to the flower shop.
Taste the love all month at Whole Foods Market.
Lemonada.
I'm Gretchen Rubin, and this is A Little Happier.
One thing that surprises and interests me as an adult is what I remember from my education.
I spent years in school.
I learned many things, most of which I have long forgotten.
For instance, law school.
I spent three years at Yale Law School.
I took many classes.
I sat for long exams.
What do I remember?
Not much, but certain things do stick.
For one thing, from my second year in law school I remember my business organizations professor, Judge Ralph Winter, telling us, almost as an aside the investor who is wise diversifies.
That is excellent advice in many diverse situations.
Incidentally, that line also taught me the power of the fluency heuristic, the cognitive tendency.
That means that we judge easy-to-process information as more true, valuable or preferable than information that requires more effort to understand.
Statements that rhyme are easier to remember.
I also remember my absolute delight when I encountered the concept of a restatement of law, which is a kind of treatise that attempts to clarify and systematize common law in a particular area, such as contracts towards a property.
I love that kind of thing.
In fact, with co-author Jamie Heller, a law school classmate who is still one of my best friends, I published a parody restatement in the Yale Law Journal called Restatement of Love Tentative Draft.
And I'll put a link to it in the show notes.
And I say it's a parody, but be warned, it's only funny if you are very familiar with restatements.
But maybe the idea that I most often recall and that I most often invoke in everyday life is an observation made by my property professor, Robert Ellickson, who wrote an influential book called Order Without Law How Neighbors Settle Disputes.
Here's a description.
In Order Without Law.
Robert Ellickson shows that law is far less important than is generally thought.
He demonstrates that people largely govern themselves by means of informal rules, social norms that develop without the aid of a state or other central coordinator.
Integrating the latest scholarship in law economics sociology, game theory and anthropology.
Ellickson investigates the uncharted world within which order is successfully achieved without law.
That's an idea I've always remembered.
And I remember him saying in class and of course this is what I remember decades later so I cannot guarantee its accuracy, but this is what I remember.
It's him saying it's almost impossible to make people follow the law.
It's too hard and too expensive to enforce laws.
For the most part, people decide to follow the law.
I feel very strongly about the law and the importance of the rule of law.
I get tears in my eyes every time I see the words inscribed above the main entrance of the United States Supreme Court building Equal Justice Under Law, and the words inscribed under the East Pediment Justice the Guardian of Liberty.
Also in my four tendencies personality framework I'm an upholder, which means that I readily meet both inner and outer expectations.
It's absolutely astonishing to me sometimes to see people just decide not to follow the law, flagrantly to flout it.
I marvel at their imagination.
It simply wouldn't occur to me to break a law, to see that it could be broken.
For instance, if I promised I would do something, it just wouldn't occur to me that I could decide not to do it.
It wouldn't even cross my mind.
And I've come to understand that that's truly a failure of vision on my part, because it's possible.
It's obviously possible to choose to become the kind of person who doesn't follow the law.
This observation reminds me of another Little Happier story I told in which, in a surprising and probably unprecedented matchup, I discuss how British statesman Winston Churchill and Lady Olenna Tyrell a fictional character from the HBO series Game of Thrones make an identical observation.
Sometimes those who love order and have a traditional understanding of the proper limits of behavior can't see the terrible possibilities available to those who are willing to go beyond all lawful boundaries.
I'm also reminded of an observation made by writer John Gardner, one that haunts me.
John Gardner wrote, "'Every time you break the law, you pay.'"
And every time you obey the law, you pay.
There is a price for breaking the law, and there is a price for obeying the law.
What my law professor pointed out is that, to a much greater degree than might be supposed, it's possible to decide for yourself.
I'll link to the book Order Without Law and to The Little Happier about Churchill and Lady Olenna in the show notes.
I'm Gretchen Rubin, and I hope this makes your week a little happier.
Hi, Gretchen, Craig Robinson, and my little sister Michelle here.
We host a new podcast called IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson.
We know you're the queen of giving advice, so we wanted to get a few tips from you.
You know, Gretchen, a lot of our listeners are going through some major life changes.
What advice do you have for folks who are trying to stay grounded in the midst of major life transitions?
Craig and Michelle, I am so happy to be talking to you.
Here are a few questions that might help us gain perspective.
So consider questions like this.
What activities take up my time but are not particularly useful or stimulating for me?
Do I spend a lot of time on something that's important to someone else but is not very important to me?
If I could magically change one habit in my life, what would I choose?
And here's a question.
Would I like to have more time in solitude restorative solitude or would I like to have more time with friends?
You know, just thinking about questions like this can help us start to figure out how we might make our lives happier.
With greater self-knowledge, we're better able to make hard decisions that reflect ourselves, our own nature, our own interests, our own values.
In my own case, I have found that the more my life reflects my nature, the happier I get and the more grounded I feel when I'm going through a period of major change or transition.
For more great advice, search for IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson wherever you get podcasts.
You can listen to Issa Rae on letting go of certain friendships, Kiki Palmer on why disappointment is actually the key to career success, Seth and Lauren Rogan on caring for aging parents, and so many more.
