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Hi, I'm Kara Berry, host of Everyone's Business But Mine.
If you don't know me, think of me as your new friend and fellow busybody as I talk about everything under the pop culture sun, from the best way to detect a celebrity breakup or pregnancy, to recapping your favorite reality TV shows, from the Housewives Cinematic Universe, Wealth in the Plathville, Summer House, Sister Wives, and so much more.
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Acast.com. Hello everyone, I'm Gwen. And I'm Leo.
You're listening to Pod and Chill, the podcast where we slow down and talk about life.
Gently, honestly, and with just enough laughter, we're here to help you relax, reflect, and learn some English along the way.
Our words are simple, our stories are real, and sometimes Leo gets a little too dramatic.
Hey, that's called personality. So, whether you're on a walk, doing chores, or just lying on the floor wondering about life, we're glad you're here.
Yeah, we really appreciate every moment, even if it's just through a computer or phone screen.
And I also appreciate my dear Gwen's here with me.
Leo, that gave me goosebumps. Just kidding.
But speaking of phones, Gwen, have you ever imagined waking up one day and your phone is just gone?
You made it disappear already, didn't you?
No, I'm just asking. That's all. No TikTok, no messages, not even an alarm clock.
That sounds kind of scary, but also kind of tempting.
Tempting? You think no phone is tempting?
Don't you think we're a bit too attached to them?
I'm not attached. I'm emotionally connected.
Me and my phone, we're the perfect match.
And how would you feel without it? I'd be starving, lost, friendless, and soulless.
Then you really need today's episode. Okay, deep breath, I'm ready.
And now we're going to take a temporary break from our phones.
What happens when we unplug from technology for a bit...
It's like walking without shoes. Or like actually living.
Are you saying we're fake living the rest of the time?
Not fake. Just not fully real. Wow. That hurts.
Easy now. This episode isn't about judging.
It's about experiencing. We're going to try living one whole day without our phones, from morning to night, and see how it feels.
And at the end, we've got a special PDF for all our English learners out there.
Yep, vocabulary, reflection questions, all that good stuff.
It's super useful. Alright then, let's start our phone-free morning.
So picture this. I'm still under the blanket, nice and warm, but something feels off.
No alarm, just silence. And then you check the time, and boom, you're already late, right?
Not quiet at all. I'm freaking late. No, I mean that kind of quiet that we haven't felt in a long time.
But you know what? My hand just reached for my phone.
Like muscle memory. Same here. I just sat there staring out the window like a lost cat.
For real. Last weekend, while my phone was charging, I had no choice but to look out the window.
Then I noticed an old man walking his dog.
I've probably seen him a hundred times, but today it felt... different.
Like you noticed them for real this time?
Exactly. The dog had this bouncy little walk and the old man waved at someone across the road.
A tiny moment, but somehow it stays with you.
Yeah, and the sunlight was doing that thing.
Like it painted everything gold for a second.
I get that. Yesterday I opened my window and the breeze smelled like bread.
I just stood there, breathing it in like some main character.
Maybe we've been living next to beauty all this time, but our screens got in the way.
And maybe we've been scrolling past real life.
Honestly, it's kind of sad how my brain didn't know what to do without notifications.
But also peaceful, right? No breaking news.
No early emails. No group chats asking exhausting questions.
No pressure to reply fast. It's like the world slowed down just enough for us to breathe again.
Yeah, but for the first time, I didn't feel like, wait, am I missing out on something?
Same. I wasn't scrolling all day anymore, just living.
At first, walking without earphones felt kinda empty, like something was missing.
But then I started hearing things. Birds, cars, people chatting.
Yeah, like the sound of wind brushing through the trees, strangely calming.
Or that guy yelling about hot dogs on the corner every five minutes kind of becomes part of the background music.
Yeah, like a walking city soundtrack. Seriously, though, with a bit of silence, my mind feels so much less chaotic.
Right? When notifications stop pulling you around, your mind starts thinking about unexpected things.
I used to be scared of silence. Now I kind of like it.
I also notice more things because I'm not glued to my screen anymore.
Yes. Let me tell you a story. One day I got lost, and my phone couldn't load Google Maps.
So I had to actually ask someone for directions.
Yeah, if you're lost, just ask. I hadn't done that in so long.
It felt a little awkward. I used to always rely on Maps, too.
But asking someone? It's kind of… nice. The guy I asked even stopped and gave me super detailed directions.
He drew it with his hands and everything.
That's so sweet. It felt a bit like the old days.
So, did you make it to where you needed to go?
Yeah. But funny enough, the part where I got lost was more fun than the main route.
That's how it usually is. When you're not rushing through, you see more.
The weird thing is that I didn't take any photos that day.
What? No story post? No day in my life video like you often do?
Nope. I just thought, let my eyes remember this one, not the camera.
Wow. Everyone reaches that point where they stop living through their camera.
Sounds old, huh? But it's true. I mean, we don't need to record everything.
Some things are meant to just live in our memory.
Sometimes we're so scared of not saving a moment on our phones.
But the second we rush to take a picture, we miss the beauty of seeing it with our own eyes.
That sounds deep, but I totally agree with you.
Well, you know, it's easy to enjoy quiet mornings when nothing urgent is happening.
Around lunchtime, though, things got weird for me.
What happened? I didn't realize how much I relied on my phone to connect with people until I couldn't use it.
Usually, I just shoot a quick message to see who's free, but someday there was only silence.
Yeah, you couldn't even check if your friends were nearby?
You're right. When I was on my lunch break at work, I was standing in line at this taco truck with great food, by the way.
But everyone around me was on their phones.
And there I was, just existing. No texts, no scrolling, no pretending to look busy.
That must have felt awkward. At first, yeah.
I kept padding my pockets like I'd lost something.
I felt like I was missing out, like some urgent message was probably waiting for me.
FOMO hits you before you know it. Big time.
But after a few minutes, I started noticing stuff.
Like this little kid sitting with his grandpa, feeding pigeons with so much excitement.
And the guy behind me humming along to a song in his earbuds.
He was totally singing the wrong notes, but it was kinda sweet.
That sounds funny. Those little scenes you'd normally miss while glued to a screen.
Exactly. It made me realize that maybe we don't need to be instantly reachable all the time.
True. I think we confuse being available with being connected.
I just mean, maybe the real connection comes when we plan ahead.
Like, instead of messaging, where are you, right before lunch, we actually set a time, show up, and enjoy it.
Wow, like people used to do before smartphones.
I know, right? But it works. And it makes you feel more present, too.
That's true. You're not using your brain for your food, your phone, and five group chats all at the same time.
Yeah, you just get to be there. With the people.
Or with yourself. I think I needed that reset more than I thought.
For me, the hardest part for me was the afternoon.
Oh? What made it tough? That's usually my most distracted time of day.
I tend to scroll endlessly between tasks just to reset my brain.
I think I get that. A five-minute break turns into 30 before you even know it.
Exactly. But without my phone, I couldn't do that.
And at first, it was weird. I just sat at my desk staring at nothing.
My brain didn't know what to do, especially if I just woke up from a nap.
Like your default escape route was suddenly blocked, huh?
Yes. And I even caught myself reaching for my phone out of habit, like 10 times.
Same here. Muscle memory is real. But after a while, something shifted.
I started really focusing on my tasks. I finished a project that I'd been dragging for weeks.
How? At first, I just felt empty. No messages, no notifications, nothing.
It was strange. The afternoon is usually when I scroll through my phone, check social media, maybe chat with someone.
But that day there was nothing. Did it make you uncomfortable?
Yeah, I felt restless at first, like the whole world was moving on without me.
But after about an hour, something in my head slowed down.
What do you mean? I didn't feel the pressure to rush anymore.
I looked at my to-do list and picked one small task.
And then, I ended up finishing the entire list.
Seriously? Without getting distracted? Yep.
For the first time in weeks, my mind felt clear.
I wasn't jumping from one app to another.
I could focus and actually think. That's powerful.
And because I finished early, I decided to walk to a friend's house.
No texting ahead. I just showed up and knocked like people used to do before phones.
Did they answer? They did. We had tea and sat on the porch, watching the sky turn orange as the sun set.
That sounds so peaceful. It really was. I wasn't being pulled in a million directions.
I wasn't thinking about what everyone else was doing.
I wasn't trying to keep up. I was just… there.
Most people don't get to feel that anymore.
That day made me realize that I'd been giving away my attention too easily.
But when I held onto it, I felt calmer, more complete.
Like you were finally with yourself instead of chasing all the noise.
Yep. It wasn't about disconnecting from the world.
It was about reconnecting with me. So we've covered morning, lunch, and the afternoon slump.
Now it's evening, the time people usually unwind.
That should be the easiest part, right? What was it like for you?
Sounds easy, but actually, evening is the danger zone.
What's so dangerous about the evening? You know, that little black TikTok icon is pure evil.
I lie down and suddenly my thumb is scrolling like it has a mind of its own.
Well, it's dopamine loop. One video, you're laughing.
Ten videos and you can't sleep. Thirty? Say goodbye to sleep.
Exactly. It's fun for like ten minutes. Then my brain just feels like mashed potatoes.
And the next morning, you wake up feeling like you didn't even rest.
So, no TikTok tonight, no Netflix, no YouTube.
What now? Stare at the ceiling and question my life?
Nah. It doesn't have to be dramatic. Maybe clean your desk, doodle something, or write in your journal.
Add a few English phrases while you're at it.
Talk to yourself a little in English. Just play around.
I read this article saying, constant dopamine hits mess with your body clock.
Your brain keeps craving more, but it's actually overwhelmed.
So basically, I'm giving my brain a nap tonight.
Yep. And maybe tomorrow, you'll wake up feeling lighter.
Not just rested, but clear. I like that.
We don't have to be productive. Just real and soft.
Exactly. A calm, gentle, and honest evening for your body and mind to really breathe.
Good timing. How about a little reset first before we jump into the vocabulary?
Yes. Let's give some love to our bodies.
Wherever you are, stretch your shoulders a bit.
Roll your neck gently. Maybe take a sip of water.
You're doing great. Seriously. Alright, let's kick off with slow down.
It means to stop rushing, take things easy.
I slowed down my morning today. No alarms, no rush, just tea and birds.
Slowing down gives space for the next thing we all need, which is to unplug from.
It's also the second vocabulary to learn.
That means taking a break from using electronic devices, often to rest or enjoy the present moment more.
I unplugged from my laptop last night and had the deepest sleep of the year.
You see more stars when you unplug. And the next phrase is attached to.
The meaning of it is feeling a strong connection or emotional bond with someone or something.
I'm a little too attached to my earbuds.
I wear them even when there's no music. Me too.
It's like we need to feel connected, even in silence.
So let's learn to take a break. It's to stop doing something for a short time in order to rest or relax.
I took a break from group chats. Guess what?
The world kept turning. That's completely normal and don't let yourself feel FOMO because of what's happening around you.
And the next word is breathe something in.
It means to enjoy and feel something fully, often with nature or a moment.
When the sun comes out after the rain, I open the window and just breathe it in.
That's beautiful. We often miss tiny joys when we're too fast.
And yet, so easy to scroll through and forget.
To move down or across content on a screen, like posts or images, usually without much focus.
We often scroll through our feed so long that we forget why we even opened the app.
It's like a time machine, but not the good kind.
Next up is reach for. That means to try to get or pick up something, usually with your hand.
In the morning, I always reach for my phone before even opening my eyes.
Let's wrap this part with keep up. That means to stay at the same level or speed as others.
Sometimes I try to keep up with online trends, but it gets tiring.
Everyone has their own pace and energy. We don't have to follow trends all the time online.
I'm guessing right now you're watching us on your phone, tablet, or maybe your laptop.
Totally fine. We're using screens to talk to you too.
What we're saying today isn't throw your phone away and live in a cave.
It's more like take a pause, a real one, away from the scroll, the buzz, the glow.
Yes, we tried one whole day. But for you, maybe start with just one hour.
One hour without checking anything. And no scrolling, no tapping.
Just breathe, look around, notice. Who knows?
Maybe you'll realize something quietly beautiful has been right next to you all along.
You just didn't see it. Like our coffee this morning.
Same cup, but somehow it smelled richer.
The afternoon felt quieter, and the evening felt lighter.
Like we stopped wasting dopamine on dozens of tiny things that didn't really matter.
And maybe you can try that too, just after this video.
No pressure, just try a little stillness.
Ah, if you've done this before, we'd love to know how it felt.
Or if you have a topic you want us to talk about next time, drop it in the comments.
We always read them. Thanks for spending this time with us.
We hope you find a quiet pause for yourself, just long enough to reconnect with what really matters.
I'm Leo. And I'm Gwen. See you again in the next episode.
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Hi, I'm Debbie Millman, and I host a podcast called Design Matters from the TED Audio Collective.
Every episode, I have conversations with designers, writers, artists, and other luminaries of contemporary thought.
People like Roman Mars, Ai Weiwei, Ethan Hawke, and Ashley Ford.
We not only talk about their crafts, but how they design the arc of their lives, what they've learned, what obstacles they've overcome and how they've done it, and how they see the world.
Join us for an inquiry into the broader world of creative culture.
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