race the rudder raise the sails raise the sails captain an unidentified ship is approaching over roger wait is that an enterprise sales solution reach sales professionals not professional sailors with LinkedIn ads you can target the right people by industry job title and more we'll even give you a $100 credit on your next campaign get started today at LinkedIn .com slash results terms and conditions apply Hey, this is Josie Santee from the Every Girl Podcast, and this episode is brought to you by Nordstrom.
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You're listening to Luke's English Podcast. For more information, visit teacherluke .co .uk.
Hello listeners. This episode is slightly different to usual.
It's a kind of calming Zen meditation episode.
and you can tell because of the atmospheric background music and my general tone of voice.
I'm attempting to speak in a calm, relaxing way.
Maybe this is the kind of voice that you would hear on a kind of relaxation, meditation CD that you bought a few years ago when people used to buy CDs.
CD's, maybe you went into one of those new age shops somewhere, you know, the kind of shop that sells candles and incense, and little stones that you can put on your belly, which are supposed to make you relaxed, and they also had some CD's, yeah, so maybe you bought one and you listened to it once and never used it again or maybe this is the sort of voice that you would hear in one of those relaxation and meditation apps that you might have downloaded on your phone but one of the free ones you know one that didn't cost any money but anyway I expect you you feel more relaxed already just simply
by listening to the sound of my voice but don't fall fall asleep just yet, because I've got some very nice things to tell you in this episode.
This is the ASMR Zen School of English.
And as well as these calming vibes, there will also be some English teaching and a bit of humour during the episode.
This is all supposed to give you something very peaceful and relaxing to listen to in English.
I've designed this episode to lull you into a calm, zen -like, meditative, trance -like state to help rid you of stress or bad vibes in order to help you learn English in the process.
There are also some grammar lessons involved in this too, because I thought it might help you either learn English or perhaps just get a really good night's sleep.
So either your English will improve or you'll just have a really good rest or maybe a bit of both.
In any case, it should be beneficial.
This episode is best enjoyed with headphones on in a comfortable place like a nice chair or sofa sofa, or even lying down on your back with your eyes closed, there's a good chance this episode will send you to sleep.
Which is part of the idea, this time, anyway.
Sometimes people say that my episodes do help them to fall asleep, and I don't know what to think of that, really, because, well, that's not usually the plan, is it?
But no, I'm just kidding.
It's fine. I'm happy if my talking relaxes you, especially in this episode.
So you could use this to help you to sleep at night.
I know a lot of people use my episodes to relax.
Quite a lot of people choose to listen in bed and end up falling asleep while I'm talking, probably because the bed is so comfortable, not because of the things I'm saying, of course, no. With this episode today, that is part of the point.
In these stressful times, it's worth taking a bit of time to slow down, if you can, and give yourself a bit of peace of mind.
That is the idea today.
So relax, get comfortable, and listen on.
Just be careful if you're driving or operating heavy machinery or something, or if you're in charge of a nuclear clear power station and you really really should stay awake at the control desk obviously be careful in that situation but otherwise just relax and just in case you're not convinced here is some information about why stress and anxiety can seriously hinder your ability to learn english there is a solid scientific basis for this idea so before we enter the asmr zen ZEN School of English.
Here is a breakdown of how this all works based on research into neuroscience, psychology and applied linguistics.
So first of all, stress affects your brain.
It affects the learning systems. The key brain regions involved in this are the amygdala, which processes fear and anxiety.
Then there's the hippocampus, which is obviously where all the hippos sleep in your brain.
The hippocampus is vital.
It's either where the hippos sleep or it's where they go to university and sleep during lectures.
That's the hippocampus.
It's in your brain, yeah.
It's vital for memory formation.
You think to yourself, that's funny.
That sounds familiar, Amelia Luke.
Then, of course, there's the prefrontal cortex as well, which is involved in attention.
Yeah. Hello. Yeah. You're still listening.
Good, good, good. So the prefrontal cortex. There's the prefrontal cortex, which is involved in attention, planning and working memory.
Okay. And the thing is that you see when you're stressed or anxious, these areas of the brain are affected in various ways.
The amygdala becomes overactive, triggering a fight or flight response, which is the last thing you need, isn't it?
When you're lying down in bed or sitting or just doing most things, unless you want to fight someone or fly fly somewhere, you don't want the fight or flight response to you, especially if you're just trying to learn some English.
Also, when you're stressed or anxious, the hippocampus and prefrontal cortex become less effective.
It's a nightmare, isn't it?
Yeah, they both become less effective, impairing your ability to concentrate, encode new information, and recall vocabulary or grammar grammar rules, which is like the opposite of what you want when you're trying to learn and use English.
Studies using fMRI scans show that anxious learners exhibit reduced activity in brain areas associated with language processing.
Basically, if you're a stressed out anxious language learner, you just become a bit stupid.
Have you ever noticed that when you're stressed and nervous?
It's like your brain freezes and you can't think properly?
How does it affect your English?
It probably causes you to make more errors and you can't string words together fluently, which is not much fun, is it?
No, it isn't. We've all been there.
It's happened to all of us.
So give yourself a chance, listeners.
Give your amygdala, your hippocampus and your prefrontal cortex a little break.
And it's not only that.
I mean, have you heard of the effective filter hypothesis by popular language acquisition theorist Stephen Krashen.
This is one of the most cited ideas in language learning theory.
Stephen Krashen proposed to his wife and she said yes, but that's another story.
Anyway, Stephen Krashen proposed that emotional variables Variables like motivation, self -confidence and anxiety create a psychological affective filter, which is a kind of filter which affects the way you learn language.
When anxiety is high, this filter becomes a barrier that prevents input from reaching the brain's language acquisition device.
device. Yeah, that's just another way of saying the way that your brain acquires new language.
So when you're anxious, this barrier, excuse me.
So when you're anxious, this barrier comes up and the language just bounces off it.
These are scientific terms I'm using here, of course.
you've heard that before okay so calm learners absorb language naturally like that and stressed out learners may hear the input but not process or retain it it's like i can hear the words just i can't it just boing is not going in in simple terms stress causes your brain to put up a barrier and the language just bounces off.
And probably just falls on the floor or something where I don't know maybe a mouse might grab it and eat it.
And also cognitive overload.
Language learning is quite demanding.
It demands working memory, that's the brain's ability to hold and manipulate information.
And when you're anxious your brain uses up cognitive resources sources, dealing with fear or negative thoughts.
It's a bit like when you're trying to use your phone and something's going on.
You've got too many apps open in your phone and suddenly your phone goes all slow.
It's the same kind of thing, cognitive overload.
So fear or negative thoughts, it's like having too many apps or windows open in your phone or computer or something.
Your brain just kind of like, what if I make a mistake?
And there's less capacity left for processing grammar, vocabulary and pronunciation, these language systems that our brains have to deal with.
and cortisol which is important it's a stress hormone short -term stress might increase alertness but chronic stress that's long -term repeated stress frequent language anxiety can lead to high cortisol which does lots of bad things things including impairing your memory it impairs your memory you think what does that mean Luke I know it's bad because of the way you said it yeah it impairs your memory oh no if something impairs something it just basically reduces its ability to do it properly right so high levels of cortisol can impair your memory, reduces learning plasticity.
Yeah, plasticity, that ability to flex and adapt and move, right?
This is what your brain needs to do.
It needs to be quite, what's the word for it?
What's like a cat that can jump around and move quite easily.
What's the word for that?
Yeah, see, I must have some cortisol going on in my brain despite by speaking like this, which has meant that I can't think of that word. It's on the tip of my tongue.
Oh, how annoying. You know that?
Does that ever happen to you listeners?
You're just thinking I've got a word. It's the perfect word. But I just can't.
It's just it's right there on the tip of my tongue.
But I just can't remember what it is.
Anyway, it'll come back to me.
But high cortisol. I must have a bit of cortisol, maybe a bit of residual cortisol in my brain or something which is stopping me from remembering that word um it impairs memory and reduces learning plasticity and also makes retrieval of learned material harder which is you know when you freeze up during conversation you think oh what was that was that really important stuff that luke from luke's english podcast taught me this is when i need it to describe the plasticity of my My mind, I've forgotten the word. What is the word that describes the way a cat can move around quite...
Agile, maybe. Agile.
That's quite good. Agile is a good word. The agility.
High cortisol reduces your mind's agility.
Your learning plasticity, your adaptability, your ability to flex, move and learn new things.
makes your brain more rigid we don't want rigidity do we not in the brain anyway maybe in other parts of the body but depends depends on what you're doing anyway also have you heard of performance anxiety yeah many learners report fear of making mistakes being judged and not understanding or being understood and this social anxiety which is totally natural can lead to various things which will not help your learning English journey, including the avoidance of speaking opportunities.
This is where someone comes up to you and goes, hello, and you just run in the opposite direction.
Or reduced practice, which is where you practice less.
Or a vicious cycle of fear, silence, stagnation.
fear silence fear silence stagnation fear i think you know what that is silence and stagnation that's just where your english doesn't move you never use it and it goes stagnant a bit like a pool of water right imagine a pool of water in a field it's there's no running water it's not part of a river or stream or something.
It's just a pool of dirty, muddy water, and it stagnates, and you don't want to drink that water.
That's all I'll say.
So, how to reduce stress for better learning?
First of all, you need a safe, supportive environment.
Laughter. Encouragement.
Go on, you can do it.
And low -stakes practice.
Just give it a try.
What's the worst that can happen?
You're in a safe space.
All of those things improve outcomes.
Mindfulness and breathing techniques.
Reducing cortisol, increasing focus, reframing mistakes.
Treat your mistakes as part of the learning process, not an example of failure.
Cecilia, gradual exposure.
That doesn't mean slowly taking your clothes off.
No, it means practicing language in stages, starting with easy tasks and making things a little bit more difficult as you go on.
And regular physical activity and sleep.
Getting out, doing some exercise, getting plenty of sleep, or however you pronounce it, sleep, that's it.
These things support memory and emotional regulation.
And sixth, the sixth point in how to reduce stress for better learning, listen to the ASMR Zen School of English on Luke's English Podcast. So with this episode, I just want to create a safe, supportive, low stress environment where you can immerse yourself in English and just give yourself a chance.
The episode is called the ASMR Zen School of English.
What is ASMR, Luke?
Some of you might be thinking, well, ASMR stands for Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response.
Apparently, it's an actual physical sensation.
this response. Apparently, it's a real physical sensation that some people report experiencing in response to certain stimuli.
Have you ever heard of ASMR?
People who enjoy ASMR for relaxation describe it as a relaxing and pleasant tingling sensation that usually starts on the top of the head, the scalp, and moves down the neck and spine.
Ooh, that's nice, you might say, if you're experiencing this response.
People often describe it as a kind of brain massage.
Does that sound like nonsense?
Personally, I've never actually experienced this tingling sensation that people talk about, except for one time.
But I realized later that it was actually just there was a small spider that had landed on top of my head.
Get it off. But apparently this is a thing.
And judging by the amount of ASMR video and audio content online, it is very popular with humans.
So have you ever seen that kind of thing?
ASMR content? Videos of people whispering and handling certain materials?
a lot of handling materials that produce a certain kind of dry high frequency sound a lot of brushing rustling clicking mouth popping rubbing fingers together gently massaging microphone mufflers and things like that is pretty funny You hear people on videos going, hi guys, welcome to the ASMR YouTube channel.
That kind of thing is quite funny really.
For me, ASMR content is really just about relaxing, being quiet, listening to certain pleasant sound frequencies and ridding yourself of stress.
It could be just the sounds of nature or just any kind of calm, comforting atmosphere.
How does ASMR work?
Well, apparently it's typically triggered by soft, repetitive sounds and gentle visuals.
Common triggers for this response include whispering or soft spoken voices.
Also tapping lightly on objects.
page turning or rustling paper or similar materials, hair brushing, crinkling or rustling sounds, like rustling dry paper or leaves or something, and even personal attention, like someone pretending to give you a haircut or pretending to give you a medical checkup.
These triggers can make listeners feel calm, comforted, and sometimes even sleepy.
How is ASMR used for relaxation?
Well, people use ASMR videos, podcasts, or audio tracks to reduce anxiety and stress, fall asleep more easily, focus better during work or study, and soothe feelings of loneliness because many ASMR videos simulate one -on -one attention.
tension. Some people even describe it as a form of meditation or mental reset, especially when combined with ambient music or nature sounds.
Personally, I just like ambient music and the sounds of nature, and I find that to be enough to put me in the right headspace.
I don't need to hear someone clicking or whatever it is.
Oh, I whacked the microphone.
Sorry. Did that give you a shock.
You're like, oh, this is nice.
Why did you hit the microphone?
Anyway, today, let's combine ASMR or at least some relaxing ambient sounds with learning English.
Again, if you are driving, you might want to skip this episode seriously, because as I said, it's designed to make you feel very relaxed calm and sleepy so please do take care of yourself and your surroundings okay i'm quite serious about that um just in case you know i don't don't feel anxiety or anything but but watch out um there is a pdf with the text of what i'm saying and also music credits are given at the end of the episode so now that you're ready let's enter the asmr zen school of english on luke's english podcast here we go if you could just take off your shoes please and also if you
could wash your hands before entering that would be great yes rid yourself of the encumbrances of normal life leave your your stresses and strains at the door and your coat.
If you prefer, you can slip into some more comfortable clothes.
But please do stay dressed.
Full body nudity would not really be appropriate here.
It's not that kind of thing.
If you like, you can close your eyes unless you need to keep them open for whatever reason.
reason like for example if you need to see or if if people around you will think it's weird that you're just there with your eyes closed and you're worried that they're going to say things like oh look at that person with their eyes closed what are they doing look let's steal his phone or something like that so you know eyes open or closed it's it's your choice so you can imagine in a very peaceful place it could be a garden it could be a spa it could be up in the mountains or even above the clouds somewhere far far above lepland where the air is clear and the clouds are soft that's nice isn't
it lovely soft clouds So, now that you're ready, let's drift away into a different kind of learning zone.
Welcome to the ASMR Zen School of English on Luke's English podcast. This is a place where the mind is calm your body is still unless you're listening to this while walking or jogging or something which some people do but let's just say here things things here are still things are still here things are still here they haven't gone away you've just got your eyes closed yes that was a joke Okay, good.
Good. You're still alive.
And the English language flows around you and through you like a peaceful stream made of words and water.
Wet words, lots of wet words flowing around.
Just let the English flow here in this English language stream of consciousness where wet words work wonders.
In this space, there are no exams, there is no pressure, no stress, no annoying green owls sending you passive -aggressive notifications to your phone about your language learning routine.
No, none of that stuff.
Only words. Gentle, beautiful words.
Drifting softly like clouds across a blue sky.
A blue sky that is perfectly clear.
except for the clouds of course which as I said are gently moving across because of a very slight wind but don't worry it's not a strong wind it's not it's not that strong it's not very windy here where you are or anything like that so don't worry about wind no that would be stressful no stress thank you no I mean yes there are fairly strong winds way above like much higher in the sky, which is why those clouds up there are drifting like that.
But down here, there's just a pleasant, cool breeze.
It's funny, isn't it?
Wind, actually. It works like that sometimes, doesn't it?
It can be like really windy up in the air, but then less windy nearer the ground or the other way around, depending on different meteorological factors.
It's quite interesting really when you think about it and it's invisible what is wind exactly what is it and where is it where is wind and where's it going and why is it in such a hurry all the time slow down wind just take it easy just stay here for a while anyway sorry take a moment now just to be still close your eyes unless you are riding a bike through a crowded area or walking next to some cliffs or something but close your eyes or at least soften your gaze meaning relax your eyes so they go a little bit out of focus you know and then just stare off into the middle distance distance, looking
at nothing in particular, which might make you look a bit brain dead possibly, but don't worry about that now.
Just let the world around you go quiet.
If people nearby are making a lot of noise, just politely tell them to shut up because you're listening to the ASMR Zen Meditation School of English.
I'm sure they'll understand.
He's like, just, can you, shut up for a bit?
I'm trying to meditate.
And then, listen. Just listen.
Let's begin by breathing together.
Breathing is very important, as I expect you've noticed during your life.
Breathe with me now.
Inhale through your nose.
And exhale through your mouth.
good again inhale hold and exhale very good that was some excellent breathing there well done really good you see sometimes Sometimes you learn more than just English on this podcast. You also learn important life skills like how to breathe.
Next time, maybe I'll do something about how to digest food or how to absorb water through osmosis.
Maybe that I could do that next time.
But anyway, let's not worry about that now.
That's another meditation for another time.
For now, just breathe and listen.
Now, let's begin our journey through English.
Each word, each phrase.
Not the entire language, of course, that would be impossible.
I mean, have you seen the size of the Oxford Dictionary?
It's massive. so no we're not going to go through every word in the entire language that would take ages but let's begin our journey through a little bit of English like a little corner of it somewhere like a little garden maybe at the edge of a park in a town which not many people visit but it's actually very nice something like that but in terms of English you understand each word each Each phrase, a step on a quiet path through a peaceful garden of language.
Section one, the vocabulary of calm.
These are words of stillness, words of peace.
Peace. Let them wash over you like you've just decided to lie down in a river.
You might need a towel later just to dry yourself off because remember, wet words, like I said earlier.
But anyway, let the words wash over you.
Words of peace. And yes, that's peace with a long vowel sound.
E, peace. Not a short vowel sound because that would be words of piss and that's never good, is it?
Especially if they're washing over you.
Okay, words of peace.
Tranquil. A tranquil lake.
A tranquil pond. A tranquil puddle of water on the floor that that someone needs to clean up, perfectly still.
Say it with me, tranquil, tranquil, tranquil, tranquility, tranquility, tranquilizer, tranquilizer, tranquilized tranquilized do you feel tranquilized you should do by the time you've finished listening to this are you all right simon oh what i've been listening to the asmr zen school of english I feel a bit tranquilized yeah soothing a soothing voice a soothing cup of tea to soothe your throat and your mind and your brain and your head and your thoughts soothing soothing soothing thing.
Gentle. A gentle touch. A gentle breeze.
A gentle reminder to like and subscribe to Luke's English podcast, which is available on all major podcast platforms and on YouTube and LEP Premium, Premium of course, which is available at www .teacherluke .co .uk slash premium.
Just a gentle reminder there.
Gentle. Calm. I am calm.
You are calm. He is calm.
She is calm. It is calm.
We are calm. they are calm.
We are all calm together.
Calm. Remember the silent L in that word, right?
Calm. Okay, not calm, no. Calm.
Just calm down. That's what my mum and dad used to say to me me when I was a child, because I was quite hyperactive.
Just, Luke, just calm down.
Look, just sit still.
Stop, stop fidgeting.
Put, no, put that down.
Put it, put it away.
Stop, stop that. Don't do that.
Just stop it. Just calm down.
The next word is serene.
Serene. Serenity. Serenity.
Serene. The forest is serene.
The ocean at dawn is serene.
Unless there's a big storm or something, but not today.
By the way, just in case you need a definition for this particular word, the word serene, according to Oxford dictionaries, means calm, peaceful, untroubled, tranquil.
For example, her eyes were closed and she looked very serene because she was listening to the ASMR Zen School of English on Luke's English podcast. Calm, peaceful, and untroubled, tranquil.
So basically the same meaning as the other words we just mentioned.
yeah english is full of synonyms isn't it it is synonyms so many synonyms just millions of synonyms synonyms that can be a bit confusing sometimes for learners of english i know but never mind that now this is a safe space it's a stress -free environment remember you are calm calm, you are peaceful, you are tranquil, you are serene.
This is a serene place where we don't worry about things too much, just as long as we're all complying with health and safety regulations, and we've done a full risk assessment before doing pretty much anything.
Don't worry, there is insurance here at the Zen School of English.
So, if all of those bits of admin have been fulfilled, you can just chill out and be serene and peaceful.
The moment right now is peaceful.
Let these words live in your mind.
Let them echo like the soft ringing of a bell.
A nice bell, like one in a temple, not a really annoying one, like the bell in a school playground, round, you know, clang -a -lang -a -lang -a -lang, or a massive and really loud bell like Big Ben in London.
No, no, no, no. This is a nice, soft meditation bell.
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Hey, this is Josie Santee from the Every Girl Podcast, and this episode is brought to you by Nordstrom.
Summer's here, and Nordstrom has everything you need for your best -dressed season ever.
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Section two, affirmations in English.
Let's now continue with some affirmations.
These are short sentences that remind you of what is true and what is possible.
You can repeat them out loud or silently in your heart although that won't be as beneficial to your English to be honest. But anyway try to repeat these affirmations with me.
I am learning. Slowly, gently, I am learning.
I understand more and more each day.
I understand more and more each day.
Now, by the way, these aren't supposed to be difficult shadowing exercises, by the way.
No, these are just positive and calming affirmations for learners of English.
If you want more challenging listen and repeat pronunciation drills, you could sign up to LEP Premium, which, as I said before, is available at teacherluke .co .uk slash premium.
But anyway, back to the affirmations.
Here we go. English is becoming part of me and I am becoming part of English.
Say it with me. English is becoming part of me and I am becoming part of English.
although that doesn't really make much sense but never mind now here is the next one I relax and I listen repeat it I relax and I listen I am enough I am enough I am calm I am calm I am still I am still still.
My mind is open. My mind is open.
I learn without effort.
I learn without effort.
effort. Oops, sorry, just dropped something.
I learn without effort.
Although to be fair, academic studies have shown that a certain amount of cognitive effort is required to make genuine progress in a second language during adulthood.
I feel I should say that so learning without any effort at all honestly I'm not sure if it's that realistic really but those findings are to be fair countered by the theory of the effective filter as I mentioned before which does suggest that stress or other mental factors can seriously inhibit the language acquisition process so with that in mind just relax and be calm and peaceful And let these English words reverberate through your mind, body and soul and form deep roots within you.
Right. But sort of imaginary roots, not real roots like the ones under a tree which are made of wood and all covered in mud and earth.
earth. No, no, no. These these roots, these English roots that are deep within you, these are sort of like soft imaginary ones which are made of air or light or energy or something, you know, and these are the roots of English which are deep within you, but in a nice way.
OK, so English is forming nice deep roots within you okay english is you and you are english maybe not legally you would need to apply for a passport for that and have it accepted and that is quite a complex process you need to go through the government passport application procedure and so on but But anyway, here in the ASMR Zen School of English meditation, English is part of you and you are part of English, whatever that means.
And some final affirmations here.
I am calm. I am calm.
I am still. I am still.
My mind is open. My mind is open.
I learn without effort.
I learn without effort.
I let the English take root within me.
I let the English take root within me.
Sorry, I forgot what I was going to say there.
No, it's gone. Still can't remember the word for how a cat moves.
Agile, sprightly. I'll get there eventually.
Let's move on to section three, the language garden, a simple story.
Now, imagine a garden, a beautiful garden, full of light and colour.
It's in England. But don't worry, the sun is shining and it's a lovely day.
No rain is forecast today.
Yes, that is possible.
The weather isn't all that bad here, honestly.
So just imagine a lovely garden in England, full of light and colour.
In this garden, there's a wooden bench. It's a lovely, comfortable one with a nice backrest and everything.
And you sit there, peaceful, comfortable.
The wood of the bench supports your legs and your back really nicely.
And your bum is fine.
It's not uncomfortable at all.
this is a really nice bench this and it's clean as well yeah no cigarette butts on the floor or empty beer cans lying around or bird droppings which can often be the case in parks in London for example I mean there does tend to be quite a lot of litter around uh these days but no this this is not that kind of place.
And this bench is lovely, peaceful, comfortable, serene.
Yes, tranquil, a lovely, peaceful, tranquil, serene, clean bench. And you're sitting on it.
Oh, lucky you. You are the lucky one.
Because, you know, other people wanted to sit on this bench. You know, when you arrived in the park, you could see them.
They were going to sit on it.
But you You got there, you walked extra quickly and you got there first. So you better enjoy it.
Let's take a look around this lovely garden, this nice park.
And oh, look at that, there's a butterfly.
A lovely little butterfly and it comes down and lands just near you.
It's small, it's blue.
It stays for a moment and then just floats away.
A bird flutters past, just by you.
You look for the butterfly again, but it's gone.
Wait a minute, did that bird just eat that butterfly?
Anyway, never mind that now.
The breeze drifts over the back of your neck.
Maybe I should have brought a scarf, you wonder for a moment.
Oh, I don't want to catch a cold.
I'm in England and there's a slightly cool breeze on my neck.
But then your mind returns to calm, peaceful, tranquil, serene thoughts.
Don't worry, you don't need a scarf in the ASMR LEP Zen Garden of Ambient English Meditation.
Everything's fine here.
You hear some birdsong.
a stream of water. Can't make the sound of water.
Stream of water. Okay.
You hear some birdsong.
You hear birdsong, a stream of water, softly trickling nearby.
Everything is quiet.
You are safe. You are peaceful.
Except for that dog barking nearby.
That's a bit annoying, isn't it?
There's always a dog barking in the park.
How annoying is that?
I can't stand yappy little dogs like that.
God, I wish it would just stop.
The owner is over there, just there at the edge of the garden.
You give him a glare, give him an evil look, like that.
But when you think to yourself, for goodness sake, I wish you'd stop your bloody dog from barking.
I'm trying to be peaceful here.
I'm trying to meditate.
Honestly, some people.
Eventually, the dog stops.
You breathe in and out.
The sun is warm. The breeze is cool.
the english you can hear is all part of the garden part of the moment like the trickle of water running along the stream or the pleasant atmospheric sound of the birds in the trees here in the asmr lep zen garden of ambient english meditation everything is simple everything is calm arm.
Let's move on now to section four, the language flow.
Useful phrases, useful everyday English phrases whispered calmly into your ear, but not in a creepy way, in a helpful way.
So So, let the language flow like a stream.
Here are useful English phrases.
How are you today? I'm feeling pretty good, actually.
How about you? I'm not so bad, thanks, but my back's been aching again.
Yeah, I think I must have picked up an injury or something last weekend when I was lifting some heavy boxes in the garage.
But anyway, I can't complain really, mustn't grumble, you know.
It's a beautiful morning.
Have you heard the latest episode of Luke's English Podcast?
No, I sort of stopped listening to it a few months ago, I think.
What? Yeah, I know, I just haven't had a lot of time recently and I got out of the habit.
And, well, his episodes are quite long, aren't they?
Yeah, but you don't have to listen to the whole thing in one go.
Never mind, you think to yourself.
We have all the time in the world here.
You can go at your own pace.
Take your time. Everything is okay.
Would you like a cup of tea?
Ooh, yes, please. Milk and sugar?
Um, do you have almond milk?
It's just, I'm a vegan.
Oh, uh, no, I don't.
sorry. Oh, well, in that case, I'll just have a glass of water.
Are you sure? Just a glass of water?
Well, yes, since you don't have almond milk, I'd rather not have tea.
I don't like it black and I don't drink cow's milk.
I think dairy is, well, I think it's cruel, you know, what they do to the cows and everything.
Oh, right. Okay. Well, would you like me to pop out out and get some almond milk.
There's a shop just round the corner.
I can... Oh, no, no, don't worry, no. Just a glass of water is fine.
Don't worry about me.
I suppose I'll just have to be the odd one out, drinking water when everyone else is having tea.
But no, no, don't worry about me.
It's fine. Oh, er, well, OK then.
listen to that lovely bird song isn't that lovely what is that bird uh it's a pigeon I think what just a pigeon Pigeon.
That's not all that relaxing.
It's a bit annoying, really.
It's not the most beautiful of bird songs, is it?
The pigeon. But that's OK.
Let's take another deep breath, shall we?
Yeah, why not? Another deep breath.
Yeah. Okay. Right. Here we go.
Ready? Go. Hold and release.
Okay. You're doing really well.
You're doing so well.
I'm really proud of you.
Really good stuff. Excellent.
Excellent work. Do you want another cup of tea?
Sorry. I mean, glass of water.
No, I'm off to bed now, actually, I think.
Off to bed already?
Oh, okay. Well, sleep well.
Yeah, you too. Look, take your time in the morning, okay?
We tend to have a bit of a lie -in and probably won't be up and about until about nine.
But feel free to use the kitchen if if you want, or anything like that, just, just one thing, just don't go into the second bedroom.
Okay. The one after yours, just, just don't go into the second bedroom.
What? Don't go into the second bedroom.
Okay. Any, any particular reason?
Well, no, no, it's just, it's, it's being decorated and there might be some, some paint or something.
So So it's best just not to go in there.
Just don't go in there.
Okay, I'll avoid the second bedroom.
A bit weird. Right, so I'll say goodnight then.
Okay, goodnight. See you in the morning.
Sleep well. You too.
Wake gently. I will.
Enjoy the silence. Yes, enjoy the uncomfortable silence.
Yes. Shh. sorry can you could yeah can you switch off your phone please or put it in flight mode hmm okay it's a bit weird isn't it flight mode we're not on an airplane but all right fine this is the zen garden meditation please put your phone on silent thank you right let's move into another closing meditation here the stillness of english Now we return to stillness.
Feel your body heavy.
I mean, just because you're tired or sleepy.
Relaxed, resting. Your thoughts like leaves gently floating on water.
water. English is with you.
English is within you.
And later, English will spring from you like water from a little pipe on the side of a building where water comes out and it kind of drips down the wall and then flows away down a little stream into a gutter or something.
And sometimes some pigeons gather there and wash themselves or something like that.
That's exactly like your English, sort of, or, if you prefer, you can think of it as a rich, flowing river, smoothly flowing downstream over rocks, through little gullies, feeding plants, trees, fish, and frogs, and things, and flowing all the way across the country and eventually out to sea.
That's exactly how your English is.
English flows. It flows flows through you.
It's not a task. It's not a challenge.
It's not homework. It's a companion.
It's a quiet friend.
Well, a friend who does talk quite a lot, so not that quiet, but you know what I mean.
English is like a friend speaking softly to you.
Fair enough, sometimes you don't understand him very well, and you have to ask him to speak up a bit because sorry, what?
I didn't, no, I didn't catch that.
No. Could you say that again?
Uh, yeah, yeah. But today it's fine.
You understand everything you're doing beautifully.
Just take one last breath.
I mean, for this particular exercise, not, not your last breath in your life.
it's okay take one last breath inhale hold and exhale let it go and when you're ready you can open your eyes and drift off into sleep although that doesn't make any sense does it because how can you open your eyes and then sleep i don't know but anyway open your eyes and drift off into sleep or whatever this has been the asmr zen school of english on luke's english podcast until next time be kind to yourself and remember the english will be with you always hello everyone yes actually this is just a quick break actually especially, just in case you want to pop to the toilet, have a cigarette, drink
a coffee, maybe not at the same time, of course.
Okay. Just a little break.
Okay. Right. Okay, everyone.
So, it's time to get back into the ASMR Zen School of English now.
Yeah. Yeah. If you've finished it, we've come on.
We've got to get on with it.
Right. Everyone, back in, please.
Back in. Yeah. That's good.
That's great. Yes. If you could just come back in.
Thank you very much. Yeah.
Yeah, we're going to do some grammar now.
Yeah, come on, everyone, hurry up over there.
We're about to start.
OK, off we go. Let's do some grammar. So, all right, everyone, here is a beautifully boring grammar lesson.
Deeply calm, soothing and utterly mundane.
OK, the subject this time, the subject.
well, let's go with subject -verb agreement in the present simple tense, possibly the most yawning, juicing, sleep -friendly topic in all of grammar, perfect for an ASMR English experience.
So here is the ASMR Zen School of English part two, subject -verb agreement.
Welcome back to the ASMR Zen School of English where grammar is quiet, still and deeply, deeply uneventful.
It's not boring. Well, maybe a little bit, but it is important.
important. Tonight's journey is into the present simple tense, a peaceful, sleepy place where the subject and the verb agree perfectly.
To be fair, subject -verb agreement in present simple tense is pretty basic stuff, but you'd be surprised how often even advanced learners of English who have a wide range of vocabulary and a good understanding of the syntax of English still get basic subject -verb agreement in present simple tense wrong?
You know, saying things like, he run, it finish.
You know, and these are advanced learners.
I know. And then there's plural S on the end of plural nouns.
I mean, it's just adding an S or an ES onto some words.
It's not rocket science.
But no, people still get it wrong.
Happens all the time.
But anyway, yes, sorry.
Let's keep this cool, calm, and collected, and positive, and non -judgmental here in the Asmer Zen School of English.
Are you ready? Let's begin.
Take a deep breath.
Yes, breathing is where this all begins.
Hold. And release. Very good.
Excuse me, are you smoking a cigarette?
Sorry, please don't do that.
No, smoking is not allowed here.
Sorry, can you put it out, please?
Yes. No, put it out.
Put it out. Thank you very much. Unbelievable.
Right. So let's enter the forest of grammar. And there's absolutely no smoking here in the forest of grammar, OK?
No naked flames or cigarettes because the forest of grammar is exceptionally dry.
Sorry, what did you say?
Sorry, do you have a question?
how about e -cigarettes or vapes um um well do you mind not vaping here i know it's not technically a fire hazard but well it might bother some people look just okay look it okay if you have to but can you do it over there please yeah and don't let it blow into everyone's faces some people Okay, thank you.
Okay, here we are in the forest of grammar. Everything here is still.
There are no exceptions, only rules.
Reassuring, reliable, predictable, boring grammar rules, like old trees or something.
Part one, the rule.
rule. In the present simple tense the verb must match the subject.
That's it! That's the rule.
That's the whole thing.
Simple Present Agreement.
To be honest it is a little bit more complex than that but this is supposed to be Zen and meditative so let's just keep keep it simple.
Listen now to the most calming sentence in English.
Here it is. The most calming sentence in English.
He walks to the shop.
Again, he walks to the shop.
Did you hear it? Yes.
That wonderful S at the end of walks.
Just a little soft breeze on the the tongue because he is third person singular.
He walks to the shop.
She reads books. It works perfectly.
Singular subjects add an S to the verb and that's an S on paper and a S on your tongue.
Yes, it's soothing.
It's balanced. It's really low level stuff to be honest. I mean, this is like A1 slash A2 English and probably patronizingly basic for a lot of you.
This is the sort of thing that if I did this in a B2 English class or something, some of the students might go to the manager to complain.
This class is too easy, you know, or they would come up to me at the end of the class and they would say, teacher, teacher, I am very boring in in this class, which is a complaint I have heard in the past. Yes.
It's not even correct, is it?
Teacher, I am very boring in this class.
And I would say, yes, I noticed that you are very boring in this class, aren't you?
And then I would say, I think what you mean, though, is that you are feeling bored in this class, right?
Is that what you mean?
And the student just looks at me blankly without saying anything and I think to myself, no, you're in the right class, stop getting ahead of yourself.
And that's fine today because in the ASMR Zen School of English there are no levels, there are no classes and in fact there is no need to worry about which CEFR band this is or what IELTS score you're going to get because remember we're being peaceful, calm, tranquil, serene and blissfully unaware of the real world in this episode, right?
Yeah. Part 2. The exceptions that aren't really exceptions.
Let's whisper a few more.
I walk. You walk. We walk.
They walk. No S. Just walk.
Flat. Calm. Repetitive.
Unnecessary. like the ticking of a very old clock kind of necessary also unnecessary because we've all got the time on our phones now but he walks she walks it walks the s returns like a sleepy cat slipping onto your lap it stays there for a while purring and then falls Asleep.
Is this still like the third person singular S on verbs in the present simple?
Like a cat sleeping on your lap.
I've lost track of the metaphor to be honest, but never mind.
The S returns like a sleepy cat slipping onto your lap.
It's nice for a while because the cat is cute and quite warm and the purring is strangely calming.
Like a little motorbike.
I can't do the sound of a cat purring but then after some time it does start to get quite uncomfortable with this cat sitting on your lap and you lose the feeling in your legs because sitting in this one position is starting to cut off the blood circulation a bit but you don't want to move and wake up the cat because it's cute but you do need the toilet so I don't know I don't know what you're going to do So let's just move on to part three.
Part three, practice sentences.
Let's repeat some sentences together.
First me, then you.
Here we go. She likes tea.
Okay, now you. She likes tea.
Next, they like tea.
Now you. They like tea.
next it rains a lot you it rains a lot yeah the I like tea you you like to it rains a lot these are a bit of a British cliche aren't they these sentences just tea and rain it's always the same bloody cliches anyway let's keep going Here comes the next one.
She eats fish and chips.
Another one. Who wrote this?
Okay, let's do it. She eats, she eats, she eats fish and chips.
She eats fish and chips.
And I love grammar. Your turn.
I love grammar. Good.
you're doing so well your subject and your verb are in perfect harmony like leaves falling gently onto a pond or a frog jumping into a river or something although to be honest i'm not really sure how your subject verb agreement can really be compared to leaves falling onto a pond or a frog doing anything really but never mind it's a nice calm image isn't it just feel free to insert your your own zen -like imagery here, like maybe some fish swimming under the surface.
Anyway, let's move on to part four.
This is the warning.
Okay, but whispered, the warning.
Yes, the warning. Now, I wanted to use a different, less stressful word here, but I couldn't think of one, so I'm just whispering it instead.
So, shh, just a little warning.
Nothing to worry worry about it's been very simple so far as i'm sure you've noticed but be careful of tricky subjects for example my friend and i go to the park not goes it's not my friend and i goes but why would it be goes well i don't know it's just go because two people means plural we know we know know that this sorry can you not heckle can you not heckle the instructor this is supposed to be a peaceful safe space okay can you stop smoking please honestly um let's continue also it's it's my friend and i go not me and my friend go because you wouldn't say me go to the park would you no no, you
wouldn't because you'd sound like Tarzan.
Me go to the park. Me play ball with foot.
No, it's not me and my friend go.
It's my friend and I go.
Yes, I know this does seem obvious to be fair, but still.
Here's another one.
The cat goes to sleep.
The cat goes to sleep.
One cat, one S. It all makes sense.
If you're patient, if you're still, even if you do still need the toilet quite badly now, but you've got this cat sleeping on you.
So I don't know what you're going to do, but you're just going to have to let the rules carry you.
Let them guide you into slumber, into sleep.
Just fall asleep. Actually, wait, hold on.
Wake up. Wake up a moment.
Wake up. Wake up for goodness sake.
We haven't finished.
Wake up. Get me some water.
Water. Glass of water.
There you go. All right.
Okay. Sorry. No, we haven't finished yet.
Here's a towel. There you go.
We haven't finished yet.
No. Okay. Look. Have some coffee.
Look. Have some coffee.
There you go. Good.
Drink it down. That's it.
Look. We've got work to do.
Yeah. We've got work to do.
Yeah. Bit more. Bit more coffee.
There you go. Bit more.
Bit, bit more. Bit more.
There we go. Oh, sorry.
Spilled a bit. All right.
Let's just clean that up.
Okay. Great. So let's have have some final affirmations here, okay?
Repeat in your heart or with your vocal tract would probably be better.
I remember the S. Ready?
I remember the S. The S is my friend.
The S is my friend.
The verb agrees. The verb agrees.
It always agrees. It always agrees.
It has no choice. It has no choice.
If it disagreed, it would get crossed out with a red pen by a frustrated teacher.
If it disagreed, it would get crossed out with a pen by a...
A red pen by whatever.
The verb has no choice, and neither do I.
The verb has no choice, and neither do I.
But that's okay, because I'm calm, I'm tranquil, peaceful and serene.
I am calm I am trans Transfer, simple and pristine I can't remember I am consistent I am consistent I love subject -verb agreement Honestly, I really love it No, I do, I promise I really like it More, I love it Okay Just repeat that Thank you Let's carry on with some more soothing English Oh, yes.
We're not finished yet.
Prepare yourself for another utterly tranquil plunge into the most peaceful corner of grammar. This time we explore the gentle, soothing mystery of the extra syllable in third person verb conjugations and certain pluralized verb forms. Welcome back to the ASMR Zen School of English.
Here we are going to look at the gentle syllables of S, third person S, plural s, the softest syllables in English.
Tonight we walk the slow path through the forest of English.
Our feet touch the moss of pronunciation and every so often we hear something.
What's that? Ssss, ssss, shh.
A sound, a shimmer, a soft syllable, an ssss that brings with it a gentle echo a ghost of a sound Let's begin In the present simple, as you know when we talk about he, she or it we often add an S to the verb usually that S is quiet it slips on like a silk glove he reads, she walks, it rains just one syllable, calm, unchanged, still but sometimes the S has needs it wants more room it wants to be heard it needs an extra syllable.
Let's take a moment with these.
He misses his bus. She washes her hands.
It finishes quickly.
Do you hear it? Miss becomes misses.
Wash becomes washes.
Finish Finish becomes finishes, a tiny beautiful syllable like a raindrop falling into a pond.
Is. This happens when the verb ends in these sounds, like sense, senses.
Sss miss, misses. Shhhh wish, wishes.
Ch, search, searches.
X, mix, mixes. And z, buzz, buzzes.
These are busy sounds, sibilant, hissing.
They need help. So English gives them a little cushion, a soft syllable to land on.
Let's now turn to plural S, the S we add when there's more than one.
Are you asleep yet?
Not just yet, but you will be in a moment.
Usually it's so soft. Two books, three dogs, four cats.
just a breath just a whisper but sometimes that same soft s needs help again listen one bus two buses buses one bus two buses one watch two watches one Again, that gentle syllable returns, Just like with verbs, this is harmony, balance, a quiet logic in the language.
This is how the force restores balance to not only the English language, but to the universe.
The force is strong with you.
verbs and plurals both welcoming the same sound when things get too sibilant too hissy too full the s needs space so we give it is let's repeat together softly he passes he passes she kisses Kisses, she kisses, it buzzes, it buzzes.
What does she kiss and what buzzes?
What, you what? I don't know.
Buses, wishes, boxes.
Buses, wishes, boxes.
boxes. Misses, misses.
Finishes, finishes.
Dishes, dishes. Do you feel it?
The gentle rhythm of is cradling each word, not loud, not strong, just present.
now the final affirmation the zen of s of the s the s is not always simple sometimes it whispers sometimes it sings i listen for the syllable i feel the shape of sound i welcome the is when it comes i am soft i am sibilant i am syllabically at peace peace.
And to end the episode, let's do a gentle listen and repeat exercise.
Repeat these lines after me to practice what we have learned.
Okay, here we go. Every morning, Dr. Martinez teaches a class on phonetics.
Your turn. Every morning, Dr. Martinez teaches a class on phonetics.
Here we go. . She analyses the way English pronunciation varies across regions.
regions. She analyses the way English pronunciation varies across regions.
She washes her hands carefully before the lecture.
lecture. She washes her hands carefully before the lecture.
She polishes her glasses and dresses formally.
She polishes her glasses and dresses formally.
As the class begins, she emphasizes the importance of precise articulation.
As the class begins, When she begins, she emphasizes the importance of precise articulation and focuses on the endings of certain words and focuses on the endings of certain words she often uses examples from dialect studies and discusses different speech patterns she often uses exactly She often uses examples from dialect studies and discusses different speech patterns.
In her lectures, she compares plural forms like churches, dishes and entrances.
In her lectures, she compares plural forms like churches, dishes and entrances.
And verb forms such as watches, finishes and diminishes.
And verb forms such as watches, finishes and diminishes.
The class applauds when she demonstrates tongue twisters.
The class applauds when she demonstrates tongue twisters.
That was the class applauding when she demonstrated a tongue twister.
Peter Piper picked a pack of pickled peppers.
She sells seashells on the seashore.
The shells that she sells are seashells, I'm sure.
And if she sells seashells on the seashore, the shells she sells must be seashell shells.
The class applauds when she demonstrates tongue twisters.
Or recites passages.
She also writes passages filled with tricky sounds or recites passages filled with tricky sounds.
She also addresses questions and encourages participation.
her office contains dozens of boxes shelves full of theses and piles of marked quizzes her office contains dozens of boxes shelves of theses and piles of marked quizzes don't worry there are no feces involved at all what have you got shelves of feces that's disgusting No. Her office contains dozens of boxes, shelves of theses, and piles of marked quizzes.
That's theses. That's the plural of thesis, which is what a student might write if they were doing an academic PhD.
You write a thesis, and the plural of thesis is theses, with a TH sound at the beginning.
That's not feces meaning poo.
Let's carry on. She rarely misses a detail and always organises her notes meticulously.
She rarely misses a detail and always organises her notes meticulously.
Her methodical style impresses her students and her enthusiasm energises the classroom.
her methodical style impresses her students and her enthusiasm energizes the classroom it's just a pity that she doesn't actually exist in the real world just she's just completely made up don't worry you don't have to repeat that last bit so everybody this has been the asmr zen school of english on luke's english podcast where even confusion and nonsense are quite nice so until next time stay curious stay calm peaceful tranquil serene gentle soothing and zen and don't forget if you enjoyed this episode you could gently massage the like button or maybe just rustle rustle some paper up against
it or something and subscribe to the podcast and consider signing up to lep premium but there's no no pressure or anything like that.
And if you are still conscious, you could perhaps consider leaving a comment in the comment section.
Perhaps you could share your own methods for staying calm and peaceful or how you manage stress while learning English.
And to prove that you're not a skeleton with headphones on, leave a comment with any of the key words from this episode, which I suppose must be calm peaceful, tranquil and serene this episode has been just a bit of fun but also hopefully a chance to relax a little bit and maybe just have a bit of a laugh, but anyway, next time it'll be back to normal podcasting and by the way listeners, do you remember the word I couldn't remember earlier on in the episode episode the word that basically describes the way that a cat can move quickly and easily I couldn't remember the word earlier well I've remembered now
the word I was trying to remember was the word nimble yes nimble n -i -m -b -l -e cats are nimble because they can move quickly and precisely Precisely, they can jump out of the way.
They are agile. They are nimble.
And if you remember, cortisol is a stress hormone which prevents your mind from being nimble.
When our brain is flooded with cortisol, we get frozen or blocked and we can't learn or think very clearly.
So hopefully now, at the end of this relaxing episode, episode.
The cortisol is far, far away from your brain, and you're feeling not only relaxed and zen -like, but also your mind is nice and nimble and full of plasticity, which is always what you want, isn't it, in your brain, plasticity.
Well, I hope that I've given you a little bit of extra extra plasticity with this episode, allowing you to be as nimble as you possibly can in order to absorb as much of that precious English as possible.
You're welcome. I would also like to take this moment at the end of the episode here to give some credits to the different bits of music that you heard during this wonderful wonderful episode.
So at various points during this listening experience you have heard Sleep Music Number One by Chris Haugen, Chilled Slow by Jim Thompson, Slow Emotion by Jim Thompson, Amber by Vyan Somnia Variation 3 by Reed Mathis Underwater Exploration by Godmode Ambisoft by Jim Thompson And AM Padice by Jim Thompson Quite a lot of Jim Thompson in there He's my brother by the way For more ambient music by Jim Thompson my brother Check out his album Ambient Anthology available on Bandcamp at jimthompson .bandcamp .com.
Ambient Anthology. It's available as a digital download or on good old fashioned compact disc.
There's a link in the description.
Otherwise, if you can follow this, go to https colon forward slash forward slash jimthompson .bandcamp .com slash album slash ambient dash anthology, or just check the link in the description.
It's probably much easier, isn't it?
But everyone out there in podcast land, stay cool, stay calm.
You can open your eyes now.
hopefully when you open your eyes you haven't crashed your car into a tree or something you'll open your eyes oh where am I oh my goodness I've crashed into a tree hopefully you managed to drive all the way home with your eyes closed and that you managed to park the car safely if you were driving but in any case well done you got to the end of the episode you survived you're one of the lucky ones But until next time, everyone out there, thank you for listening.
And now I will just say goodbye.
Thanks for listening to Luke's English Podcast. For more information, visit teachaluke .co .uk Hey this is Josie Santee from the Every Girl Podcast and this episode is brought to you by Nordstrom.
Summer's here and Nordstrom has everything you need for your best dressed season ever.
From beach days and weddings to weekend getaways and your everyday wardrobe If you enjoyed this episode of Luke's English Podcast, consider signing up for Luke's English Podcast Premium.
You'll get regular premium episodes with stories, vocabulary, grammar, and pronunciation teaching from me, and the usual moments of humour and fun.
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Thank you.
