at, and I was just like, fuck, you know, this is much better.
And then I decided to do it night because I just kind of didn't want to be taking pictures and parking lots for the next fucking 30 years.
So the rehearsal that came up to me and not have like something to show for it monetize the audience and something.
I just felt like I should build a brand.
I should just do something with it.
And so it was, and also I, I don't know, I was watching TV.
I think it was like 2017 and they said weed was becoming legal or weed was legal.
And I was like, fuck, this is perfect.
I smoke a lot of weed. You know, a lot of people wouldn't want to touch this space.
You know, let me do this.
And so I decided to launch it night.
And when we did that, it was just everything I'd done before on steroids.
You know, literally now you've got a capitalist justification.
You've got a commercial reason to go that way.
And you know, we'd raise $100 million.
It was like, you know, fucking, it was just kind of make it work.
Let's go do it. You know, let's just do it stronger than anybody's ever done it.
Let's, you know, kind of like do a modern version of Playboy.
And it was just kind of, I don't know, it was just like all the stuff that I kind of wanted to do when I was younger.
Like, you know, I wanted to fucking be like the new you have to.
I want to do all that stuff.
And I did that. And it was fun, you know, the million dollar parties that travel in the world, all the stuff.
But I was already kind of over it from the realization that I was happier having a girlfriend than doing the hair I'm thinking now I'm doing the hair I'm thinking I'm like a fucking crazy scale like a hundred girlfriends and all this shit.
And, uh, yeah, I just, but I, but then I felt kind of trapped because now I had a brand and now I kind of had to do it.
And it was all like, COVID saved me a little bit.
This is the difference between being homeless and going camping, right?
What is, is sort of mandated upon you and the other one is a choice that you get to make.
Yeah. And it's a lot more fun when it's your choice.
You know, you're doing the same thing, but if you're choosing to do it, it's different.
How big of a difference was that sort of framing the fact that previously this was adventurous.
It was on your timeline.
There was no degree of pressure for you to be able to do it.
And then you come back and you go, this feels like a job, even though it's the least job-looking job that ever did job.
Yeah, it was kind of crazy.
I think it was more because I was over it than because I had to do it.
So you're like a punch, punch, strong, bonk box.
How important was it for you to sort of push that limit and get, take the cable car to the top of the hedonism mountain?
Is there any shortcut? Could you have seen these things were not going to make me happy without having to go through kind of the trenches of getting there?
Absolutely not. I had to do it.
I had to burn my end of the stove over and over again.
I just think about this all the time.
Right? So there's two types of lessons.
Bill, mutual friend, good example of this.
2D lessons and 3D lessons.
Reading, die with zero, 2D lesson, listening to the audiobook, even listening to him on a podcast, like a two and a half D lesson, going to Bill's house and seeing his dial in system and the chef and the wake surfing and all the rest 3D lesson.
I gave him that stuff. By the way, the chef, the wake server, and he fought me on the wake server for like 10 years.
You designed Bill Perkins.
I understand. It's like a mixed race.
Fucking like the version of you.
My point being that there's so many things that you want to be able to hold personal development industry is based on I don't need to do this thing.
I can learn it through somebody else.
What's that quote about like any idiot can learn from their mistakes?
I prefer to learn from the mistakes of others.
And what I'm fascinated by are these kind of champagne challenges that are ones that you can only learn the lessons of by actually doing them.
Well, there's a caveat to that.
I think for me personally, I had to learn them myself, but I don't know if everybody else is wired like that.
And I also think that if there's a guy like me that told me, I might have listened.
You know, like if you have an order to tell me, I might have listened.
My dad told me to go fuck yourself.
Well, you know, because he didn't fucking do it.
Like he didn't fuck thousands of girls.
He didn't go down this road.
Like he doesn't know. So he can give me his theory, which is kind of like the whole dating space.
My biggest issue with the dating space is a lot of like theory.
These guys haven't done it to the point that I've done it.
And they haven't like absolutely figured it out.
It's kind of like poker.
Like in the beginning of poker, there was a lot of theory.
Like we all had ideas of what we thought was the best thing.
And like then 10 years later, like the best of us all got together and we agreed on a lot of things.
Some of the quantum supercomputers solved it.
We were just wrong. We're just dead wrong about a lot of things that every fucking of the best player thought was for sure the answer.
We're just wrong. You know, and I think that's true in dating.
And I think there. Yeah, I like that a lot.
I think it's kind of similar to the Chinese farmer parable, which is that you kind of don't know what's good or bad.
Like you could have instant success.
Like you could win the lottery.
But a lot of times that makes people depressed more so after a year than losing their arm, right?
So, you know, sometimes people think, Oh, I got a, you know, big promotion or one ton of money or I did this or did that.
And they think it's great.
But you don't really know until, you know, 10 years, 20 years online deathbed, whatever.
Like was that actually do to me?
Yeah, exactly. So I mean, I like the idea of the slow success because it's kind of like a constant climb.
And I always said like if I were to plot my life, then I could just, if this was a simulation, I could just do whatever I wanted.
It would be like, start at the absolute fucking bottom and just slow road up.
You know, but what I did is I like started here, went here, went here.
I mean, I just tried to reset it to make that not actually feel like that.
Yeah. And I, I said this to Bill, I actually said that I wanted to bet him or whatever, like, I don't know, fuck, million dollars.
It was something where we would go work a regular job for like six months at Walmart or a valley.
Yeah, I think he actually offered me like a million bucks to be a valley.
But it was like in the summer in Vegas for three months, I should have done it.
Yeah. But like those sort of things will give you a reset.
Just like when I went to boot camp, that was like a full reset because I was thankful for all the things that, you know, I took for granted.
So I think having those resets is actually good.
So, you know, if you were to put writing a book.
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, something that just kind of like grounds you out and then even go in a jail for like three months, you know, whatever, just some shitty experience because then after that, it's like, you know, I mean, like if you were to be thrown in jail tomorrow for three months or four months, like, you might think that'd be terrible.
If you spent a million bucks, I bet you could get someone to make a jail for you for three months.
I think Mr. Be the most. I think Mr.
Be the most. Yeah. To be like the most champagne homeless solution to this ever.
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What about the public scrutiny?
You kind of mentioned it earlier on.
There seemed to be a period, I can't remember when it was maybe like four or five years ago or whatever, when it just felt like people criticizing financial statements.
This is where ignite is.
This is actually what's going on behind the scenes.
It's what happened with all of that and how accurate have those predictions been.
Yeah, I mean, it's funny.
I think it was like four years ago, they're like, you know, damn, those are going broke.
He's fleeing the country.
He's going to jail. Ignite's going bankrupt.
It's like all this stuff.
And it was just funny because I think I was worth like 375 million at the time.
I was like worth more than that I've like almost ever been.
Ignite was actually doing really well at that point.
Like yeah, we'd lost 50 million, but a lot of companies, you know, they spend a lot of money on marketing and we've done like a hundred million in sales at least every year for last like three or four years just in vapes alone.
And so, you know, you know, I think Uber lost like five billion in a quarter or something, you know, and they were like never probably like, I just don't think people understand companies.
And we were also in the wrong space.
We were doing weed in an environment where the government was like heavily taxing and people are doing it legally and nobody's making money.
But whatever, you know, it's like it was one of those things where all these YouTube people were making all these like crazy claims and this clickbait and because of that they're getting a bunch of views because you know, you can just say whatever you want.
That's the thing about a celebrity is like you could say whatever you want like literally whatever you want.
And there's no recourse.
You can't really assume like at best you can get a retraction.
But like the legal language unless you say that they have AIDS or something, you know, like medically, you could say whatever the fuck you want.
And so I was in a weird position because my videos were getting like 50 million views and my fucking stories were getting like eight to 12 million views of story and my Snapchat's are getting like three million.
So it's like, do I want to shine a light on all these fucking retards, which is probably what they want.
You know, I mean, that's why you make clickbait in the first place and address this stuff or do I just want to like focus on my book and it's kind of like focus on my book and just ignored all the nonsense.
But it was shocking like how much people believe like they were just like, oh, like, you know, Dan's going broke and I'm just like fucking flying around my jet.
I'm like, I'm fucking the house paid for like all this crazy shit and it's like the fuck, you know, like I've got four million dollars in watches.
But I didn't like flex that and then like, I just didn't give a fuck.
I was just like, whatever dude.
But it's funny like the, you know, the people just believe kind of like whatever they read and see, I think they're getting better now because of COVID and because how many times the media is lied to them, they're starting to figure it out.
But I don't know. I mean, it was a weird thing.
And so then that's kind of one of the reasons that I did come back a little bit and I started posting them a little bit again because when I stopped for the book, that was kind of the time when I realized like, you know, and reflected on my life.
I was like, okay, like I kind of don't want to do this anymore or whatever.
But I, you know, for the company, I was like, okay, like, you know, we'll go back and, you know, give them a quick fuck you and that's what I did.
And then after doing that, I was like, okay, now I want to go back to like being a fucking normal person.
But yeah, it's surprising, man.
People just, you know, they'll just believe what any YouTube video says and there's not really any regulation.
I mean, if I were to make the laws, it would be that if you knowingly, like, you know, said something on a media outlet that you knew was false, there would be repercussions, but there's just not.
It's going to be very difficult to prove that you knew that it was false as well.
Right? I thought that the numbers worked that way.
I guess it's going to be kind of slippery.
Yeah. Yeah. I suppose so.
But I think there is like an element of responsibility when you have a big platform, like, you know, Pierce Morgan just went crazy on fucking tape the other day because he, you know, said something that wasn't true.
It's like, where were you during COVID?
When you were telling everybody else to get the fucking vaccine and all this other stuff, it's like, you know, do you fucking, you know, like condemn the media?
Do you condemn this? You know, like, it appears as such a fucking hypocrite.
It's so funny watching them.
But it's funny because there is no responsibility.
Like the media doesn't have any responsibility.
Like Alex Jones says something that they say is, you know, false and and hurts people and he gets fined a billion and a half dollars.
And the media says a bunch of stuff that kills a bunch of people and there's no repercussions.
Like, how does that work?
You know, like, what point is there repercussions?
And what point isn't there?
How did that period of life feel given that you were going through this deceleration transition, detoxing or whatever you want to say, like rehabbing from like you go from this like top of the world pleasure speaking, fucking dope means spike over and over and over and over again all the time.
Every time you're the fucking man, you're the greatest thing and all this shit.
And then, you know, like having to do with negativity and then also the pandemic where you can't do shit and the world's in chaos, you know, we've been, never been more divided, never been more racist.
Like the country's just like fucking turned itself apart.
And I'm kind of like locked in the house and I'm doing this fucking edit.
And it was just like, it was a lot.
Just you and a word document for comfort.
Yeah. Yeah. And an 18 year old in lingerie, and Gage Lee and my two cats, you know, fucking everything's got a silver lining.
What's your approach when it comes to sort of public scrutiny?
You know, do you get sort of sad or riled up or does your self esteem or confidence or whatever take a hit from things like that?
There's very few people that spend so much time crafting a public image to then have it be derogated rightly or wrongly or falsely or legitimately or whatever.
But for that to then happen and you not feel indignation at it being wrong or you're not feeling shame at it being right.
Yeah. I mean, it was one of those things where, you know, I've been famous for 12 years and like on a pretty large scale to where every country and every place of the world, like people coming up to me all the time, nonstop.
And I feel like in the beginning of it, I didn't deserve it.
And like all these people were telling me all this stuff.
And I was just like, you know, I don't think I'm the greatest guy in fucking it.
Like I don't think I'm, you know, fucking, like, yeah, I'm doing it, you know, but I'm also, you know, that kid that didn't get a lot of posting in high school and whatever.
And, you know, everybody's got their insecurities.
So you don't feel like you deserve as much praise as you're getting.
And then I got to a point where I felt like, you know, I was the fucking man.
I was throwing the best parties in the fucking world.
I was fucking the hottest girls.
I was doing all this shit and I have been doing it for, you know, a super fucking long time.
And so maybe I do deserve it, but I don't really care.
And I think during the entire process, like I'd gotten a ton of negativity.
Like honestly, like my biggest spikes in fame were from negative things.
Like throwing you're all off, you know, throwing you're all off the roof.
Like I just like I'm chucking bitches off the roof.
Like it's something to do.
Like it was like a hustler photo shoot.
They asked me to fucking do it.
Like this girl like held onto my shirt, you know, almost fucking kill that they have been accused of doing.
But nobody ever gets given plus points for the bad things that they didn't do.
You know, no one knows the podcast guests that would have done huge plays.
And many other people brought on, but ethically I didn't feel were virtuous.
Like I don't get any points for the bad things that no one knows that I didn't do.
All of this stuff that you say no to and that's an interesting point, you know, during the NFT and crypto phase, well anybody, I mean, that would have been the whatever like bills coin or some fucking shit would have been a huge cash grab the distribution circulation that you would have had with that.
I told you didn't think about it, but that's a yeah, yeah, that's okay.
Well, it can happen if you do your own coin because then you have some control over it, but just promoting somebody else's rug that I wouldn't feel right about.
You know, that I think is fucked up because like they're going to pay me because they're going to fucking rug it and they're going to take the money and the people that I'm going to send to invest are going to lose.
So it's kind of like all of those people that you're exit liquidity.
Yeah, exactly. So you know, I look, I mean, there's been plenty of coins that have done well, you know, like doge, you know, fucking that made a bunch of money.
But you know, blah, blah.
Yeah, I mean, because the whole premise of crypto is like kind of this decentralized thing that allows people to bet on like the stock market is rigged and people that you know, they saw it in the game stop stuff like they fucked those guys like bad like they halted trading.
They did all this stuff like finally like the good guys are going to win, you know, and they still fucked them.
So exactly. So it's kind of like crypto is maybe like one of the last things that isn't really a rigged market if if done right.
And I think that's some of the appeal.
And you can inflate it like the governments inflating the fucking dollar and whatever.
So I do believe in crypto.
But yeah, I wasn't going to do any of the, you know, the bullshit promo stuff.
And but I think the confidence that I have is just in kind of like knowing that I'm a good person, not necessarily, you know, I mean, like not doing bad things, I think is important too.
But like, I think you get your real confidence from knowing that like you will suffer for the right thing.
You will fucking not quit.
You will have follow through your tons of people that have managed to find the correct balance between hedonism, between what they look for from everybody else, how they feel about themselves, the world's view of them, their view of them.
But it's, there's definitely a kind of irony in the most admired people often having the least admirable internal states.
You know, if you could just take a little holiday to their mental landscape as their head hits the pillow on an evening time and go, holy fuck it.
No, thank you. I do not want that at all.
That is a great interview Lex Rebendid with Elon Musk, maybe last year.
And Elon sort of very solemnly looks like in the eyes and he says, most people think that they would want to be me.
They don't want to be me.
They don't know. They don't understand.
My mind is a storm like holy fuck like this is the robot dancing on stage at Japan convention Tesla firing rockets into space guy.
And meanwhile, he sounds like he's having an existential crisis and you go, well, yeah, because what is it that drives somebody internally and what you see of them externally?
And it doesn't a lot of the time I don't think you would pay the price that you would need to to be the person that you admire.
Yeah, I mean, there's that.
And also just money doesn't solve the problems.
Like people don't, people think that it does.
It actually perpetuates a lot of problems.
How so? Because it exacerbates them.
It puts them on a larger scale.
More people are fucking, wanting something from you.
It's harder to determine people are there for the right reasons.
You know, you've got more staff.
You got more responsibility.
You've got more things pulling your fucking energy.
Now you've got four houses to manage.
You've got a jet. I mean, I have like 22 staff members.
It's private life is just as complex as your professional life.
I mean, managing staff is just like managing girls.
You know, it's like eventually you just get to a point where like you don't want to fucking manage all this shit.
Like you don't, you know, and so then you hire somebody to manage that.
You don't even, it's like, it's outsourcing, outsourcing, outsourcing, but you're basically like running a company.
Like I've got multiple chefs.
I've got, you know, I've got, you know, house cleaners.
I've got a bunch of assistants.
I've got, you know, just all this staff, right?
But then the staff has to manage the staff.
And it's a whole thing, right?
And what is it all for? Just so you don't have to make your bed and cook your food.
Whatever. Cause like last week I just went up to Minnesota.
I saw a family had a gram of the funeral and then I went to Canada and we live basically like in the fucking woods.
We got a cabin up there. But there's, you know, we have to use propane and there's an outhouse and, and you know, we have power only because the generator isn't.
Yeah. It's a lot, you know, like it's basically like, I'm cooking my own fucking meals.
I was doing all my own shit.
And I just realized like how many things were done for me.
But at the same time, like I didn't really need it, you know, like it was just kind of nice to be able to just be self sufficient for three or four days.
There's no cell reservists.
So I never looked at my cell phone.
You know, it's kind of nice.
Like it was just good unplugging.
Just realized like, I don't actually need all this shit.
We'll get back to talking to Dan in one minute.
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A check out. What do you learned about where money does, how you can spend money well?
A lot of ways. So a tool. I mean, it's a tool to get what you want.
It's a tool to save times, tool to, you know, set up an environment to, you know, bring what you want to you.
Like, you know, it could help you with women.
It could help you with a lot of things.
And so it's just, it's one of those things where I think people want it for the wrong reasons.
And I think a lot of people that get it don't know how to use it.
But it's valuable. I mean, it allows you to, you know, travel the world when you want, allows you to tell people, fuck you.
That's the biggest thing.
Honestly, like, that's the reason I always wanted money is just to tell people, fuck you.
And I, it's, it's always funny to me to see guys like the rock or whatever that's like still fucking like punch in the fucking narrative, still fucking doing what he's told, still fucking, you know, like, given the speeches and dorsen, you know, like, just like, who's your master?
Like, what the fuck are you doing?
You got four million dollars.
I'm like, what the fuck is wrong with you?
Like, why are you answering to anybody?
Like, why is anybody influencing what you say?
Like, be your own fucking person.
You have enough. Like, when you get to a point where like, you can't spend your money, the idea of like being a slave to money is fucking crazy to me.
I heard you say not long ago, maybe within the last few years that you wanted to make a billion dollars and that that was this kind of you knew arbitrary sort of pointless number to get to.
Is that still on the list?
Or is that something that you've been able to deprogram?
I've been able to deprogram it.
That was one of the things and I saw this in my life.
Like, I was sure that a million dollars was like enough.
Like, I needed a million dollars and then it was five million and there was 10 million and it was 50 and then it was 100 and it was like 500, you know, it's always like a fucking another number and it was never enough and it's never going to be enough.
And, you know, I just realized that I got happiness from like helping other people and doing things that I enjoyed doing.
So I need a fucking focus on that.
It's actually pretty simple.
It's not like a real complex.
So it's not, I was going to say one of the themes here is definitely sort of simplifying rather than adding complexity.
Lots of girls, lots of complexity, lots of staff, lots of complexity, lots of money, managing that, obligations, this party that I need to run or go to or whatever.
I've heard you say that, you know, most of the parties that you run when you were in that phase in LA, you didn't really get any chance to enjoy yourself because you were the guy in the door and making sure that everybody else had a good night and you're organizing there and organizing that despite presumably a fucking ton of the staff or whatever that to help you.
And increasingly, you know, it seems to me that the best ways that people who have money spend money is to actually simplify life rather than make it more complex.
But the natural sort of root of having money is more things and more people and more complexity.
Yeah, I think at the end of the day, like you realize that you value peace, you know, just not headaches, not stress, not girls fighting, not energy being pulled in a million directions.
And so yeah, I would say I prioritize peace more now than I did before.
I had like no peace before.
So I don't know, man, I'm not like an extremist.
I just go fucking all the way this direction, all the way this direction.
And yeah, doing this part is a fucking nightmare.
I mean, there was like one point.
I distinctly remember one point when I actually enjoyed the party and it was maybe for 10 minutes.
But I was I was I was I'll never forget it because it was like and I ended the book on it.
It was I was in a day bed and I had like 20 girls crawling all over me fucking grabbing me and I was like, you know, I'm a quailuited kicked in and I was happy in a leso and fucking carnage and dip low or all fucking DJ and all at the same time.
And like it was like looked out.
There's nothing but hot shakes and a few celebrities and whatever.
And I just like I just realized at that moment, like I had thrown like one of the best parties has ever been thrown in the fucking world, like hands down.
I know it for a fact. And there was like some sense of accomplishment there, you know, and but I realized like this was at the top.
Like you I couldn't do a better party.
There was 3000 girls. There's like 300 celebrities and it was just like there what you couldn't have done a better party.
There was like the best DJ and the best whatever.
All this shit, Cirque du Soleil performers.
And yeah, I was like that was that was a mountain that I wanted to climb like I have attempted to spin it up for one last time.
I mean, there it is. Maybe one more, you know, but like that's not it, but like just to do it, just like fuck it.
Why not? But not because I feel any obligation to do it.
And I feel like I did it because of obligation before.
I mean, it's it is fun to throw a good party because you know, people have a good time and it's it's something that you know, they remember, but it is a fucking pain in the ass, man.
Like it's, you know, to do it the way I wanted to do it.
I lost a lot of friends, you know, because like I wouldn't let fucking guys come in there.
I wanted the ratio to be right.
Like pissed off a lot of celebrities.
But they were fucking great.
You know, the parties were awesome.
I mean, for the people that were there.
So and that's what I wanted to do.
I always wanted to like go to a playboy party.
And then I went to a playboy party and it was cool.
And I fucked your girl in the grotto.
And I thought like man, like I've done it.
And then I threw a party that was better than the playboy party.
And that was like, okay, now I've really done it.
That's enough. Did you pivot to monogamy?
Did. How's that? But I'm not, I'm not like some proponent that like you have to be monogamous.
I just found that it's just the natural state.
Like and people want to always say like, you know, the only animals that are monogamous are gas dolphins and all this shit, but like, you know, whatever, it's like a natural thing in the animal kingdom for the alpha male to fuck all the chicks.
I'm like, I get it. You know, like I argued that too.
And I did, you know, I fucked a lot of chicks.
But I think that when you actually really like a girl and when she really likes you or you're in love or whatever, it's not worth the pain that it causes her to fuck other girls.
That's what I landed on.
So it wasn't so much. And I also didn't need it too.
Like I didn't need to fucking stick my dick in a bunch of girls.
Like I've done that. And I think that because I've done that, it actually gives you unique ability to be monogamous.
Because I think if you're some dude from Wisconsin and you're fucking married after sleep mature chicks and some hot chick hits on you, the rest of your life, you're like, damn, like what would that have been?
I wonder what exactly like, you know, I was it.
And I think it would almost be a possible not to be like that versus if you've had sex with a lot of girls, you know, you like, you know, you don't like, you probably appreciate the girl that you landed on more so.
And you just won't have the wandering eye.
So I'm also a proponent of getting out there and, you know, hooking up with the decent amount of girls, seeing what you like dating around figuring it out and not putting pressure and not getting married because society tells you you should get married.
I'm not saying I even agree in marriage.
But like I'm an ageless relationship, I think is probably the goal is where you should, you know, want to end because I think that's where you'll be the happiest because you can focus on your shit.
You're not distracted.
And it's pretty easy to keep one girl happy.
You know, I did it with like a hundred.
So like one is one is peace.
One is very simple. I remember one of my friends when I was back in the UK was sort of really hardcore into pick up artistry and keynote escalation.
And when, you know, Neil Strauss in the game and mystery and all of that stuff was coming around.
I remember him saying over dinner one evening, he said, uh, my future wife, bedra appreciate all of this effort I'm putting in.
I'm like, you're going to have to explain to me how you like plate spinning 15 WhatsApp checks at once is in investment in your future wife.
So as well, look, when I'm walking down the street with my two and a half kids and the golden retriever and my wife, I don't want to look at a Brazilian check and think, I wonder what it's like to fuck a Brazilian check.
So he's like, really, I'm doing this for my future wife.
I'm like, uh, maybe some roundabout kind of logic.
But as you're saying here, you know, there are some lessons for some people like unique constitutions.
I'm so for one person, it might be money for another person.
It might be fine for another person.
It might be women for other people.
It might be all of them that you need to check boxes in order to close those loops.
There's that. And then I think also you get more confidence.
Um, and I think a lot of people cheat out of insecurity.
Um, and so I think by dating a bunch of women and by getting confidence and realizing that, you know, women are attracted to you and they like you, this may not have been as true for you, you know, Mr.
fucking GQ model grown up.
If I didn't have trouble getting posted or whatever.
It was a very ugly or very ugly guy until I was about 19.
All right. Well, anyways, for I think for most guys, there's probably, you know, because there's a lot of different attraction triggers.
There's the common ones that guys think about, but there's a bunch of other ones that are actually really powerful and, you know, like pre selection, for instance, like just having a bunch of girls around you that are interested in you will absolutely, unequivocally make how girls want to fuck you.
And I've seen it, you know, more so than good looks because I went on vacation with Bill, you know, here's a good looking guy with worth $500 million, funny, smart, like all the things that guys think that they need.
He went four days on a dessert time with 36 hot girls and didn't fuck a single girl and not for a lack of trying.
He literally tried to fuck every single girl there and they all said no.
Okay. So that was one of the things that like, you know, in deconstructing this course that I realized was like the things that guys think they need is not what they fucking need because I've seen guys with every single, and it's not like he didn't get posted.
I mean, I fuck 10 girls with them at one time before that, you know, trips.
So like, it's not like he wasn't confident.
He was fucking D1 football player, the guy gut girls.
Like he had all the things, confidence, experience, whatever the guys, you know, set up being on a dessert island with 36 fucking girls, they can only fuck him.
I mean, I think the security guard got laid.
But anyway, the point is he was doing the most common thing that guys do, which is he was over communicating interest to women.
And what he did is he just over communicated interest and he hit on women in the traditional sense that guys think is correct to get girls.
He hit on them, gave them compliments, whatever.
But he blew himself out with every girl because he over communicated interest.
And what I told him in the fucking fourth day was like, dude, you need to just chill the fuck out.
Like stop over communicating interest, stop acting, you know, you know, reeking of desperation, stop acting like if you don't get laid, you're going to fucking die, you know, and on the fourth day, sure enough, he'd chill the fuck out.
He fucked four girls, you know, and like met his wife, had a few of the reasons, like everything was good.
And, you know, and it was just a small shift.
And so that's what I've seen is like, you know, small shifts.
I mean, if they do the right things, there's hope for everybody.
I mean, look, I was not a guy that was supposed to get hardly any pussy.
And I didn't, like in high school, like I lost my identity to Mexican hooker, you know, like, and then we went a couple of years out of that, you know, finally figured it out, like, and that's next again, but like not much, you know, and then the military, I like did terrible.
I would like go up to every girl with the typical, like, oh, I think you're beautiful, you know, can I buy you a drink line?
And obviously that's going to do fucking terrible because that's like just setting yourself up failure, over communicating interest.
It puts a girl in a position of like, I can have this guy, you know, do I want him?
And when you look at something like that, it's like all the flaws magnify.
It's like when somebody tries to fucking sell you something, they pitch you really hard.
You automatically look at all the reasons why you potentially shouldn't buy this, right?
Well, it's no different in dating.
So when a guy comes up and like lays it on real thick and this is like, oh, I'm just going to be fucking honest.
I'm just going to tell her how I feel and like all this bullshit.
And like, you know, and it just runs her right the fuck off because she doesn't respond to that because in her, you know, past experience, all those guys that have come up are usually like the needy guys and whatever.
And so I had the wrong approach and I got shady results and then, you know, in college, I kind of started to figure it out because the ratio was better and my approach was different.
And so when I started like, you know, not over communicating interest and we had these situations where women would come talk to us, like I had a glimpse of like, okay, I'm the same guy here.
I'm the same guy here, but I'm getting way better results here.
Why? And I was like the first time I read the game.
And so I got a little bit of an insight on it.
And I would say the game was kind of like similar to like our poker theory in the beginning.
It's like it's an idea. Some of it's right, you know, but some is really wrong too.
And I don't think that, you know, people are even close to figuring out what is like actually effective.
I did a pretty good job. Like I laid out like a good framework of like the common mistakes that guys are making.
What you can do, you know, correctly, you know, hacks, like, you know, just mindset shifts, like traveling should be about the journey, not the chaos of packing, which is why I'm in love with nomatics backpacks and their carry-ons.
I'm on the road. I'm here in Vegas.
Then I'm going to LA, then back to Vegas, then to a wedding in Italy.
And I'm doing it all on hand luggage.
Hold luggage is a sionp, meant to keep you poor and late.
You don't need it. And this thing is the Swiss army knife of travel packs.
They've got pockets for your laptop, your clothes, your snacks.
It is so organized, even your toothbrush will feel important.
It's like the Marie condo of luggage.
Jeff flaws. I've got flaws.
Like everybody has flaws, right?
So when you're looking for flaws, you know, they stand out.
But when you're pursuing something, you know, like think an auction, you know, like five guys want something.
Five guys are bidding for something.
And like, you really want it.
And you have this like, you know, idea in your mind of like when you wanted something, you didn't get it in the sphere of loss.
You're not thinking about what's wrong with it.
You're just, how do I get it?
Right? Just like, you know, and this is probably the most common mistake guys make is like, this girl's hot.
How do I fuck her? You know, that's the thought process.
Like, oh my god, she's so beautiful.
Like, I would marry that girl.
How many times you heard a guy say, like, oh my god, she's so hot, I would marry her.
It's like, what if she is fucking AIDS?
What if she's a pathological liar?
What if she's like, like, 95,000 guys?
What if she's just like, you know, a serial cheater?
Like, well, you know, what if this girl has a master problem?
She's bipolar. Where she's got a fucking master alcohol problem?
Whatever, right? Like, dig a little bit deeper.
Like be discerning, you know, like go into the interaction, like, wanting to find out more about the girl, not just accepting her looks as being enough.
And I think that's the biggest problem that guys make is that they just like, the looks are enough.
And then the conversation is like, how do I get her to like me?
So you're already going in there with a handicap.
You know, like when a salesman comes in, like, he's already coming in from a fucking handicap versus like, when somebody goes into the store because they need fucking milk, they just go to the aisle, they find the fucking milk and they buy it.
Versus if you show up at the fucking door and you try and sell a milk, they'll be like, oh, well, who is this guy?
Is the milk fucking old?
Can I trust this? You know what I mean?
Like, the difference, like, when you want something, it's just like, how do I get it?
It's not, you know, the same conversation.
And so that would be the biggest thing.
And I figured that out because I had a big sample size of girls that wanted to fuck me that I screwed it up with.
And a big sample size of girls that wanted to fuck me that I also had sex with.
And I think that's like, look, in a, in a, in a experiment, you have to have the control group, right?
Most guys do not have the control group.
Like, I literally had girls sending me butt naked photos on Instagram.
I want to fuck you. And I screwed it up with those girls.
So I'm just saying like only in like cross comparing what worked and what didn't work with two sample size of girls that both wanted to sleep with me could have figured out the same guy to both of them.
Exactly. Cause like, you know, there is girls that just like wouldn't want to sleep because I'm fucking Armenian or I have a shitty haircut or whatever, right?
That's gonna be girls that just like wouldn't fuck me period.
So because I had that sample that I knew that they wanted to sleep with me.
And I screwed it up. I was able to like, figure out the things that I was doing wrong.
And like, one of the big things that I was doing wrong was like, I was over communicating interest.
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It's so funny that kind of a playground mentality of if I know that I can have it, I don't want it.
And it's so funny how that seems to be in your world, be like a fundamental part of the physics.
What translates to everything, you know, it's sales, it's negotiation, it's business, it's all these things.
The person that can walk away from the deal is the one that holds the most power always.
So here's a big one. How do guys not get intimidated or nervous by hot women?
Well, I mean, there's like the correct way and then there's hacks.
I mean, you can just like pretend like the girls, Climidia, you know, if you like mentally kind of like register like she has Climidia and like you wouldn't fuck her even if she wanted to fuck you, you're gonna interact differently with that girl.
And so that would be like the first hack to just like tell a guy, you know what I mean?
Like if they go out to a super hot chick and they're just otherwise going to be really giddy and, you know, nervous and just like excited and all they can think about is like, you know, how do I get this girl like me?
And then that they're actually on a date with the girl, which would probably never will be, you know, like, you know, should I make a move now?
All this shit, right? But like if you give her Climidia, you just like suck all that out, you know, and you take away that anxiety.
He's not thinking about like, you know, how do I have sex with her?
He's not thinking about like, should I make a move now?
And he's gonna interact with her differently.
You know, and that's one of the things is like interact with these girls like they don't have a bunch of power over you like, you know, like you don't need them.
Needingness is not attractive, right?
And I think that's one of the things that guys sub-communicate when they, you know, over compliment when they over chase when they do a lot of things that guys do is they just put themselves in a category of like, you know, the fucking needy guy, which is most men.
And if you want to have, you know, if you want to have success with a super hot girl, like don't act like all the rest of the guys.
How should guys build confidence?
Because it's all well and good saying that you should be the prize and you should make a chase.
But what if you've got low self esteem?
Yeah, I mean, that's going to be a problem that a lot of, which I think is true that moustaches account to signals for guys that it's basically them saying, I've got so much surplus mate value that I can like retard myself with this thing on my upper lip and still pull and it's kind of the same with the crocs.
It's kind of the same with, yeah, that's like high level game.
That's like, okay, I'm like, it's it's kind of like this guy.
I saw some YouTube videos of him and he will go up to girls and just say fucking retarded shit to open and have success, you know, and it's kind of like he's signaling that like what you're saying is not that important, but like he's doing it with such a degree of confidence.
And then he also falls up the conversation with like being a semi normal human being and he's also good looking at all this stuff.
But like, I guess the point is that sometimes if you're if you are confident and you've got this stuff down to the sides, I mean, like me and my friends, we would just basically give each other the line that we would have to go out to a girl with and it was just fucking a trochist like really, really stupid offensive dumb shit, you know, and we just have to deliver that and we'd
have to deliver it deadpan.
We couldn't say, oh, my friend bet me to say this and we would have crazy success with that.
We would actually have better success with that than we would if we would win your own line with well with what the world thinks is correct to say, you know, and so it so I think you have a point, but I think that you have to get to a certain level to do that.
Get round out the preselection thing for me.
I don't think we've closed that loop.
Okay, so preselection is basically like women believing that other hot women want to sleep with you.
So, you know, jealousy would be them being jealous of other women and seeing it, you know, preselection is kind of like, I don't know if a girl sees it, you have four million Instagram followers.
She's just doing an assumed that girls want to fuck you, right?
Because you have a level of fame, whatever.
And so I think preselection, you know, and then there's like, you know, visual forms of it.
Like I would show up at the club with two or three girls that were like sitting on my lap that, like, you know, I had hooked up with that were like trying to kiss me all this up and then like, women would just come up.
I could literally just like do like a come here and go fuck a girl in the bathroom without even talking to her sometimes because the preselection was so strong.
So it's not something that I would like say every guy's got it.
I'm just saying you should understand all the different track triggers.
And there's ways to like trigger stuff too.
Like like, let's say on an Instagram story, you just took a picture of a, you know, your, your beer glass and a martini glass next to it.
Now is it? Now is your story?
Now girls would be like, who's you with?
You know, who's that girl?
And maybe there's just like a, you saw a nail, you know, being the wife or a girlfriend of a guy that's worth hundreds of millions of dollars that's smart and successful.
Like that's a prize. Like that's right for the people that are a hundred million dollars.
Yeah, that's just it. That's an extreme example.
Yeah. And normal money.
Yeah. So for the normal guys, I mean, it's the same concepts, right?
Like, and honestly, like, mostly girls that are dating those guys are cheating on those guys with the normal guys.
They're fucking the pool guy.
They're fucking the poor guy.
Like a lot of times they're cheating with those other guys.
And so you don't have to have the money that says, I'm just saying that's one where there's like a big disparity and they're not taking advantage of the fact that like they could have a better relationship with the girl if they just framed it differently and treated the girl a little bit differently and didn't like over chase because when you're chasing something,
it can't chase you back.
That's another like key point too is like the moment you start pursuing, they can't pursue.
So I've had women that were like literally like chasing after me.
And the moment I like showed them too much interest, it like, oh shit, like, kill the attraction.
Well, I can have them now, you know, it's real.
Like, shit, do it. Now I have the just sit like question.
Do I want to fuck the ampels there?
And like, you know, he wants to fuck me.
Maybe that's enough. And I think with a lot of girls that just alone can be enough.
The validation. I wonder as well how many how many girls you're kind of selecting for that is psychologically unhealthy for whom that is such an immediate turn off.
Well, like psychology transcends all of this stuff.
It's true whether you're damaged, whether you're 100% put together, like humans just respond.
Like, you know, like every human response to an auction, you know, like when you're when you're buying something, you want to like, you know, every house that you buy, you want to have an inspection, like we're just wired the same way.
Like as much as we want to think that we're like very different, like humans are herd animals.
I mean, you saw that during COVID, you've seen that, you know, numerous times with how much the media can sway.
So like, we are herd animals and people react, you know, psychology is psychology.
So, you know, like a super smart girl is still not immune to intermittent positive reinforcement.
You know, like there are certain principles that are going to apply regardless.
I wonder how many girls that are listening, I think, yeah, there's been guys that were perfect for me.
Everything was right and he just got too keen and there's some switch that kind of gets turned off.
And I wish that that wasn't the case.
I wish that it wasn't the case that when a guy shows too much interest in me that there's something kind of odd going on.
So very much that push and pull that sort of balance between the two, you know, 64 like nuanced stuff like that.
You know, I didn't do a ton of online dating.
So that wasn't really my thing.
I mean, I teach guys like kind of the social media optimization and like how to use your socials, you know, not posting fucking 20 stories, you know, and like if you're going to post like, you know, have some time between posts, your engagement is better and like, you know, don't do needy posts.
And if you're going to, you know, if you really want to post them like brag about your car, like make the post not just about your fucking car, you know what I'm saying?
Like there's ways to show communicate the things that you want to communicate, communicate attraction triggers without being like really braggier on the nose about it.
I think captions help. There's like, I mean, social media is like a whole separate thing that I kind of like cover.
But I think if I were to like summarize a social media, it would be like more like, you know, communicating the things that you want to communicate without overtly bragging, which is kind of funny coming from me.
But like, very rich. What are the big pitfalls that guys do when it comes to the online social media?
I mean, look, who do you brag to?
You brag to people that you're trying to impress.
And so if you're trying to impress people, then they kind of like have to be above you, right?
So if your social media is like really braggier, then you're going to kind of come up as insecure.
So you can communicate value.
You can show that, you know, you live in a nice house.
You can show that you have a fun life.
You can show cool stuff.
But the way to do it isn't necessarily like be standing in front of your Corvette with four stacks of cash.
You know, like there's just ways to show things without talking like rappers.
All of the rappers. Yeah.
Well, you know, they're holding that worth because they're wearing it at all times.
It's almost like an indicator, like, you know, like, I rest.
This guy's got 400,000.
But yeah, they're an extreme example.
But I still see a lot of guys like make a lot of mistakes on social media.
And I think social media is, you know, it's a powerful dating app.
It's, you know, the thing about social media is we're talking primarily Instagram here.
I'm getting a guess. Yeah.
I mean, TikTok doesn't even allow you to message somebody that's not following you, which is kind of crazy.
They don't even like tap into the dating element of it, but whatever.
And yeah, my experience has been most of the Instagram.
So, um, yeah, with IG, it's kind of like when you do a story, you're indirectly almost texting every single girl on your phone without communicating any interest, right?
And then if they respond to your story because you post something, fucking cool or something, you know, the causes foam over, they wish they were there, whatever.
Now they're, you know, maybe they heart the story.
And now they have started the interaction.
So now they're chasing, right?
So like, there's an example of like how you can do something very subtly, like obviously like posting one story would be a lot easier than texting every girl on your phone.
So there's ways to like save time with this, you know, and still like, you know, get in their mind, have them thinking about you, communicate value, build attraction.
And, you know, so yeah, social media is a tool.
I don't choose to use it, but that doesn't mean it's not valuable.
How can guys set expectations more effectively?
You've mentioned about being honest and truthful, but a lot of the time there's kind of a big discomfort.
There's bravery and courage that's needed and guys to be able to do that.
What's, how can they set expectations and how can they sort of learn to be more open and honest and truthful?
I think you're saying set expectations, kind of like set boundaries.
No, expect that this is what I want.
This is the sort of thing that this is going to be serious.
This is not going to be serious.
I'm looking to the mother of my kid.
I'm just looking for something that is casual.
Someone asks you, are you seeing other people, etc, etc?
Like how do you set those expectations?
Well, for me, I'm brutally honest.
Like, I'm just brutally honest about it.
Like, if I'm seeing other people and she asks, then I tell her.
So that's my approach. And I think when you do that, you also sub-communicate confidence because you're telling them that the truth is more important than whether or not they walk.
That's to me is like, that's not why I do it.
I just do it because that's my moral code and that's just how I operate.
And honestly, it's super, super fucking important to me.
In a partner, it's actually really, really high on the fucking list.
So in order to ask for that, I have to offer it myself.
That being said, it doesn't mean I'm telling these guys to just blur out every thought that comes into their mind.
But if a girl asks a hard question, it's fucking be honest.
And if they walk, then they walk.
And I think being willing to let them walk.
I think that would come a mistake that guys make it.
I think this is one of the reasons why almost every girl that I've ever dated doesn't have anything bad to say about me because I never bullshed at them.
And I think a lot of guys in LA sell the dream.
They tell girls that like, oh, you know, you could be the one.
I'm going to take you to meet my, you know, they just sell this bullshit.
They say whatever they think the girl wants to hear so they can fuck them or say they can string them along and date the three or four girls.
And I was just, you know, that wasn't my school of thought.
I was always just like brutally honest.
And because I was honest, it made the girls like, oh shit.
And I also set a standard of what was acceptable to.
And I set a crazy fucking standard because I one time had a girl ask me like, how many girls have you slept with this week?
Or how many girls have you, you know, have you, you know, slept in any of the girls?
And I was like, I'm what time frame?
Sorry. I jumped the gun a little bit.
She's like, you know, have you been sleeping any of the girls?
And I was like, you know, in what time frame we're talking about?
And she goes, I don't know.
And last week. And I was like, yes.
And she's like, how many?
And I was like, four. She's used to have four girls in the last week.
It's like, yeah, but I used condoms, you know, and then she was just like, that was it for her.
That was like her red line.
And she was fucking out.
But two days later, she came back.
And you know what? When she after she fucking came back, she thought about it.
She had processed it. And she was like, you know what?
Like I just really respect the fact that you just are going to shoot me straight.
And I know that whatever you tell me after this point is going to be true because like nobody would fucking tell the truth about that and then lie about anything else, right?
And because of that, I was able to, you know, have a, you know, have a relationship where I dated her and was able to sleep with whoever I wanted.
And she never gave me shit about it.
And she, you know, respected the honesty.
And that was like an unusual thing.
But, you know, it was because of, you know, the raw honesty up front.
I wouldn't know how many girls would find it sort of refreshing, even if it's something that they maybe don't want to hear for the truth to be sort of so plain.
I mean, I would, I mean, I always ask and this is like, you know, people think this is crazy.
But I asked girls, you know, usually in the first five minutes of talking them, how many guys have slept with?
I asked them like, what the sluddest thing they've done, what the most fucked up thing.
Like I just get right to the heart of it, you know, and I just, because that's interesting to me.
Like most of what I, you know, talked to models about is not that interesting.
But like what her body count is or what she says her body count is, is interesting because it tells me like what kind of lie she's going to tell, you know, and it's like, but if she says like a number like, you know, 73, then it's like, okay, it was shit.
Like this girl's honest, right?
But any, any like low number, I just assume that she's lying.
And then, you know, and then I'll process it, you know, and then like later on, it's like, you know, maybe I can catch her.
And if I catch a girl in one lie, then I kind of like, don't trust them from that point on.
But like I said, I like to ask questions like that to get to the heart of, you know, kind of like, you know, what their value system is, like, you know, how honest they are, like how crazy they are, how fun they are, how sexually liberated they are, like whatever it is.
And like it won't always blow them out.
Like I'm not a guy that says that girls only, you know, can sleep with three guys or not can take them seriously, whatever.
Like for me, like I said, honesty is like, fucking up here.
Their body count is like more down here.
Are there any other big attraction triggers that we haven't covered?
Well, I mean, there's a decent amount of attraction triggers.
I mean, some of them are, you know, are going to be ones that you would know, like, you know, looks or money or, you know, whatever.
But, you know, they're in the status.
There's pre-selection.
There's, you know, there's other ones that are somewhat counterintuitive.
They're status. There's, you know, leader of men.
There's, you know, there's a bunch of different ones that will, you know, trigger attraction on different scales.
But sometimes just want attraction triggers enough.
Like, pre-selection alone could just be enough, you know, humor sometimes could just be enough.
Like it just, you know, it just depends on how strong it is.
But that's one of the things is like, identify what attraction triggers you have and then kind of like lean on those or favorite interactions that would favor those attraction triggers.
So if you're a particularly funny guy, don't go to nightclubs when no one can hit you speak.
Exactly. Exactly. Like play to your strong suits, you know?
Like if you're really unattractive guy, then, you know, maybe like dating apps are probably not going to be the best thing for you, you know, or like, you know, or nightclubs also, you know, because nightclubs, I think a lot of times, you know, your initial, you know, reception is going to be partially based on look.
So what would your advice be to unattractive guys?
I mean, it depends on what their attributes are, you know, because I've seen a lot of unattractive guys with really hot girls.
And so, I mean, if they're rich, then they can use their money in many different ways to create, you know, pipelines of girls coming in.
So then you can have jealousy, you can have pre-selection, you can have competition, you know, all these things.
And, you know, you can create scarcity.
I mean, money's a powerful tool.
Just most guys use it in the wrong way.
They're like, they'll like buy a girl a purse or they'll, you know, I mean, just stupid shit that actually hurts them.
We spoke about this a year ago.
And it seemed to me that when you were thinking this through the hypothesis, that there's kind of two buckets.
There's kind of the every guy, normal guy stuff.
And then there's this other kind of elite level lifestyle design type guy.
What's interesting or unique or what's the, what's the setup for that guy that's maybe got a few limitations?
Yeah, I mean, that would be for me the more fun to do more, you know, one-on-one stuff with, because I can make a significant impact in his life.
And most rich guys are used to using their money to get what they want.
But in dating, a lot of times rich guys use their money and it cuts against them.
How so? Well, they get right and wrong.
They'll give a girl an allowance straight off the bat, you know, which is good for control.
But it's not good for respect, you know.
And, and I think, or they'll buy them purses before they've slept with them.
And then the girl put, there's, there's three buckets.
There's guys that girls want to fuck.
There's guys that girls want to date.
And then there's both, right?
What you don't want to be in is the bucket of, of, I want to date them, but I don't really want to fuck them.
That's the bucket that you fall into when you buy your purse before you fucking have sex with her.
You know, and so then she looks at you like, how much can I get from this guy?
You know, she looks at you like more like a meal, take it or a sucker.
And the moment she does that, then all of a sudden you have to be below her because she's taken advantage of you.
You know, and so I see more guys use their money incorrectly to hurt them.
Then I see them use it to help them.
And, and if you use your money to help you, I mean, sky's a limit.
I mean, I'm a good example of like what's possible if you deploy capital correctly.
I mean, obviously that wasn't the only attraction trigger that I had.
And I really dedicated a lot of my life to my sex addiction, but like, you know, if you create a good environment, I mean, it's going to just make this massively accelerate.
It's going to make it a lot easier.
And then also you're going to have the pre selection to work with.
It's going to trigger the better women to chase you.
And you're going to have a better relationship if the girl chase you.
The more girl, the more you can get a girl to chase you before, you know, you guys are in a serious relationship.
And even in the relationship, the more she's going to respect you, the more she's going to value you.
Like, you know, there's, there's relationship for this guy, you know, is, is massively higher value than the girl.
But because he behaves a certain way, the girl not only doesn't respect him, but she's more likely to cheat on him versus that same guy and that same girl.
If he acted correctly, that girl will be doing everything that she could to keep that guy happy.
She'd be waking him up with blowjob, she'd be doing all this stuff.
She would look at him as much more of a prize.
It's the same guy. But if he just acted correctly and didn't, you know, do these calm mistakes that these fucking rich guys do, have you tried to use theory of mind to put yourself into the position of a guy that's a little bit more anxiously attached than you, someone for whom when their partner maybe doesn't message back for a little while or the girl that they're
speaking to or whatever, that they kind of get activated and they sort of want to push in a lot more.
It's all well and good for you.
Sort of semi-sociopath dating man to, you know, like sort of cut through, we just mad at it, like working in this rational robotic kind of way.
But emotions happen for some guys and that's going to arise and it creates a compulsion.
It motivates them to behave in ways or deal with uncertainty.
100% and look, I can lead a horse to water.
I can't make them drink.
I can tell them, you know, what's correct if he doesn't choose to do it because he can't control his impulses and his emotions and he has a bad result that's on him, right?
So like, I mean, yeah, and that's the problem is that, you know, when a guy feels a girl's pulling away, he's much more likely to massively engage in chase and chase and that's actually what is going to send her right off the fucking planet, right?
That is going to send her out of the orbit of a girl that he's ever going to get back with.
And so yeah, you're right, that is his instinct and that's one of the things that he needs to not do is when the girl is pulling away, he needs to not over chase, right?
He needs to just like chill the fuck out, take us to the end, x play cool, you know, and like not text or 50 fucking times that night.
Like you ever seen swingers?
No, you never seen that movie you got a watch right?
Anyways, so this fucking guy like, you gotta watch the movie.
He calls his accident. He's a constantly like leaving messages on the recording.
And anyways, when he stops caring, then she wants him back.
But it's classic movie.
You gotta watch swingers, Vince Vaughn.
Anyways, point is that yeah, I mean, that would be a classic example of a bad behavior pattern that is going to lead him to a bad result.
I asked Jocco how to get over a breakup.
And what do you say, work out of three?
Yeah, I mean, there was like, you do two jitsu go for runs, lift weights, like a lot of classic get up at 4 30 in the morning.
But also he said walk away and don't look back.
And this clip went like super duper viral.
And it's him saying walk away and don't look back.
If she's the right one, walk away and don't look back.
If she's not the right one, walk away and don't look back.
Because if she's the right one, she'll come back around like who knew that Jocco will and can Dan Bilzerian, we're going to arrive at the same piece of dating advice.
That wasn't on my 2024 bingo.
Yeah, I mean, it is true though.
I mean, I mean, you've probably seen this right when you broke up with a girl and she's like, okay, and walked and you're kind of like, shit, you know, but she's like, come on, baby, let me make this work.
It just pushes you away further.
That's a good point actually.
You know, we've spoken an awful lot about starting things, but how can guys be good enders?
Like, do you have any scripts or formats to follow when it's time to bring something to a close?
That's not usually a problem.
Most of these guys are going to have, but yeah, I mean, if you get good at the inflow, you're going to have to get good at the outflow.
I agree. Unless you're going to begin spinning a fucking ton of plates.
I agree. And so for that, I mean, once again, it goes back to honesty, you know, it's just, but try and, try and let them down easily.
Tell them about the things that they can change.
But there's no, like if the reason that you, and I'm not saying this is right, but the reason that you broke up with this chick is she just really wasn't hot enough and you want to fuck out the girls.
You probably shouldn't tell her, baby, you're just not hot enough.
I want to fuck out the girls.
Right. So there's like limitations.
You don't want to like ruin herself a steam.
But if she has been too clingy and she's been very annoying, then you can be honest about her and you can tell her, look, like you're just driving me nuts.
You're, you know, you're checking my phone all the time.
You're doing this. You're doing that.
And I just, it's not making me happy.
And I, you know, and I want to break up.
Like you can tell her things that she can change.
But what I wouldn't recommend is telling her things that she has no control over that's just going to ruin herself a steam because that doesn't do you any good and doesn't do her any good.
So, yeah, and don't do it over text.
You know, be a fucking man.
Like, you know, have the conversation.
But if you've made up your mind, then I would say make up your mind.
And if you, and if for some reason in this breakup, she's convinced you that you should take her back, I would say at a minimum, say, I want one week break, no talking, no communicating, no social media shit, just one week, no contact.
And at the end of that week, you're going to have a pretty good idea of how much you miss her, how much, you know what I mean?
You valued her interactions.
Like how much that stuff really bothers you know, you just sometimes time is the best thing.
And by doing that, you also have a week where it's like it's not so final on your end either.
Like you could get her back if you want to, which makes it actually easier for you to end thing.
Right. And for her, it's like a little bit less of a fucking, you know, like immediate severing.
So she's going to go less crazy in that week.
So, you know, I think that's a good strategy sometimes.
But if it's just like inconsolable and she's just terrible or you just want to break up with her, then I just, you know, just don't string her along, you know, just tell her the truth.
And, you know, I'm going to move on.
And there's just no getting back together.
Getting back to your current sort of lifestyle situation is kids on the horizon.
Do you want to have kids?
You know, it's not something I really think about a lot of people asking me that.
My brother's got three kids.
Maybe I'll get there right now.
I am deriving happiness from helping other people out.
And so, I'm focusing on that.
I know the kids is kind of like a part of that, but it's the ultimate helping other people out, right?
It's your own genetic lineage.
A little bit. But I think you have to have the right girl.
And, you know, that's the first step.
You know, a lot of people decide they want to have kids.
And it's like, okay, well, you got to buy two.
Exactly. And that's a very important piece.
Sometimes finding the right girl will make you want to have kids.
You know, so not finding the wrong girl will make you not want that kids.
It's like, I don't want to have more of these people.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you know, it's, it's interesting how many Boss Bitch CEOs then find a guy that they didn't think existed and, you know, turn into a very happy mum or how many dudes that were maniac business people in their 20s and their 30s find a woman that's the love of their life and go, even my priorities have changed.
I realized that so many of my businesses were surrogate children.
I think there's a lot more of the latter than the former.
And I think the problem that a lot of these like Boss Bitch CEO girls are going to find is that by the time they want to have kids, it's like much higher chance of autism, all these other things.
And they've also kind of like, you know, not cultivated a lot of things that would probably help them be a good mother.
So I think this like detachment from traditional male female roles is another one of the problems that we have too.
And I think it's okay for a woman to work.
And I think it's okay for a woman to be a mom, you know, or both.
But I don't, I think both is tough.
And I don't think that you can ever be a good mom if you have a full-time job either.
So I would, you know, say if kids are a priority, then, you know, maybe focus on, you know, doing more like of those sort of things, like, you know, being a housewife, you know, cooking, you know, doing those sort of things.
If that's what you enjoy and you enjoy, you know, taking care of kids, that's a valuable role.
And a successful guy would probably much rather have a woman that would want to do that versus work part time and then get a nanny and maybe feed the kids after work when she's tired.
You know, it's just like, I don't think that's healthy.
What advice would you give to women who want to attract a guy that's worthy and that he's going to treat them well and how can they also be more attracting to guys?
The first thing is I would say be more honest with yourself of what you actually want.
You know, I think a lot of women say that they want all these things.
And then there's a lot of those, a lot of guys that fit that criteria that are just invisible to them.
And so, you know, like, the nice guy, I want a guy that's honest, you know, you can go to fucking Walmart and there's probably a lot of those guys and these women won't even see them.
Not to say that you should go, like, marry some guy from fucking Walmart, but I'm just saying there's a lot of like nice, trustworthy guys that maybe aren't quite as attractive that these women won't give the time of day or maybe they're less successful or whatever, but that guy would fucking die for you.
You know what I mean? So like if that's on your big priority list and like loyalty and honesty and all these things, then it's like, okay, maybe focus more on that, but I think what they tend to focus more on is status and, you know, looks and, you know, kind of like what's hot in the market, you know, whatever, or what their friends would think would be good or what, you
know, it's just, and so be true to yourself.
Like if that's really what you want, then look for that.
You know, give one of these guys a fucking chance.
You know, God knows if he's like, you know, one of these guys that don't have a lot of options is probably like never gonna cheat on you and treat you like fucking gold and cut off his arm for you, you know, and it's like if you're a woman that values loyalty, then you know, maybe go looking for loyalty, don't go looking for, you know, the fucking basketball player, you
know. I've been thinking about cultivating receptiveness for women, like that's one, I think, pretty uncontroversial piece of advice.
So in a post, me too, world where any normal sane sort of respectful guy treats a no as a fuck no or anything that is shy of kind of a yes, as this could be a bad situation waiting to happen in a headline, yeah, I think that women are still, they've got some conceptual inertia from the why men love bitches treat him like you don't like him, sort of 90s into naughties dating
advice that was very widely distributed to women.
And they need to realize that the environment that they find themselves in is guys that a lot of the time are kind of scared of making a woman uncomfortable.
First off, because if you're not a piece of shit, who wants to make a woman feel uncomfortable, secondly, because you're terrified of being a me too thing, thirdly, because you've been massively under socialized because you spend all of your time on social media, you've got this huge big stack all on top.
And I think treating men as a woman, it's like a me fucking man's planning, treating men as kind of like particularly slow golden retrievers that need bigger signals than you might think.
So in the sort of aristocratic era of great Britain, ladies would drop a handkerchief in front of sort of the gentleman that they wanted.
And it's an easy opportunity for the guy to oh miss mom mom and hand that back over.
And I think sort of what's the 2024 equivalent of that, you know, a lingering gaze that lasts a bit longer than you think.
So that you go, I mean, that's she's either got something in her eye or she wants me to go over.
And you know what I mean?
So cultivating receptiveness, I think, is like a cool, a cool idea.
That would be one. I also think that like just kind of being more proactive as a woman because of the current dating, you know, like you said, you know, guys are scared, you know, like they're usually they get a lot of negative reception.
A lot of guys don't know what to do.
So they have bad results.
And so maybe as a woman just, you know, don't go hitting on guys, but just go have a conversation with them.
You'd be surprised at how much more receptive men are to, you know, it reasonably attractive woman coming up and trying to have a conversation with them, you know, and it's like, yeah, maybe they wouldn't be that surprised at how receptive men would be to a reasonably attractive woman going up.
But then why not do it? You know, like so that is because they don't really, because what's what's the what's the downside?
Right? Like for a guy, there's a lot of downside.
You can get rejected. You get embarrassed.
It's like this is that, but like for a woman, why not?
Just go have a conversation.
Right. It's definitely going to be higher.
Did you see yesterday that French athlete, Elise Fino, who proposed to her husband after winning a gold?
I did. I did. I did. That caused a big sort of shit storm on Twitter with women saying, I would never do this guy saying you've basically just been cucked in front of the entire world.
Other people saying, well, this is super romantic.
You know, she's just achieved her dream in terms of career.
Now she's going to achieve her dream in terms of family.
What did you make of that and the subsequent response?
It's interesting. You know, my first reaction was kind of like, what the fuck?
But then I mean, look, if she's more successful than him and she's the breadwinner, I mean, look, at the end of the day, I'm not a big proponent of marriage because I think it makes your relationship more transactional and more financially based because basically what you're doing, if you're a rich guy and you get married, you're putting a bounty on the relationship.
It's like, okay, she wants to get a divorce.
Now she gets $100 million.
You're putting a reward on that.
And so for her, maybe if she's the breadwinner, and maybe she has more money, then she's making more of a sacrifice by getting married and she's putting more of her finances on the line.
Maybe this guy's a fucking backup dancer or something in our mechanic at Audemars.
And she's making two, three hundred grand a year.
Then in that scenario, I actually think it's, you know, it's okay, right?
And it's surprising to come from me because I'm a very like traditional conservative guy.
But I mean, I don't know what if she's worth a hundred million dollars, not that she was.
I'm just saying like in a relationship, like if a woman was worth a hundred million dollars, then maybe she should propose because she's the one giving up, you know, the most.
I mean, I don't think she could take her son name.
Well, I don't know about that, but like, you know, I think who has the most money definitely makes a big difference.
I mean, because that's really at the end of the day, you're getting the government involved in your relationship and you're bringing the finances into it, right?
Like if you want to get a divorce, you know, you're gonna, and then it's messy, you're gonna have lawyers are gonna be in court and you're gonna be fighting over money.
That's how it ends. There's certainly going to be a more conversations around this.
And I wonder how female and feminist culture is going to deal with marriages where women on average out earn the male counterpart, you know, women between ages of 21 and 29 earn on average 1,101 pounds more than men do.
So, you know, the gender pay gap is largely a motherhood tax.
It's when women hit motherhood and then they have to take maternity leave, they take time away, they have different priorities, etc, etc.
Two women for every one man, completing a four year US college degree by 2030.
The gap that we had between men going to college and women going to college 50 years ago when title nine was brought in to encourage women going to college has now been reversed and broken through in the other direction.
So the gap is now bigger in favor of women going to university than it was for men when they implemented title nine, which was this big world changing ideas so that we could get more women into college.
And downstream from that, the people that go to college get paid more on average.
I know that college isn't everything blah blah blah.
You can make as much money as a, you know, sparky or as a plumber or as an electric whatever.
But you're going to end up with way more women being the breadwinners in households.
So I think it's going to be an interesting role reversal when you go, okay, what's happening with marriage now?
Is it making an honest woman of someone when the woman out earns the man and what how does sort of a lot of the modern talking points that women have been given?
How does that play together?
You know what I mean? Yeah, I mean, it's a strange thing that I never thought that I would be discussing.
