Red flag, don't go on a date with him.
What is something you hate to admit is true about you?
I am very undisciplined.
That entire set, like my boyfriend, my ex-boyfriend, my ex-ex-boyfriend were all... all in the same vicinity.
My past past and my past and my present were just like all there.
My past, present, and my future.
Yeah, like everything was there.
This guy comes up to me, he's like, hey.
I'm like, ew, in my mind.
Welcome to Voice Hugs, a podcast on becoming your best self and embracing all seasons of life with open arms.
This is your host, Viv and Rick.
Hello, hello.
It is a cozy evening.
I think this is the latest we've ever recorded.
Yeah.
First time recording for me after the office.
Yes.
And I actually really like it so far.
Yeah.
Sunset.
It's like a nice treat.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Our lights are actually lighting because it's dark outside.
Yeah yeah, for today's episode.
We were wondering and thinking about what topic to talk about today, but then we realized that we actually have so many questions from all of you, and so what we're gonna do is answer some as many as we can in today's episode.
Um, just to catch up, You know, catch up on the questions.
Catch up on the questions.
And also help you guys get to know us better.
Yeah.
Because that is actually one feedback from both of our significant others and a lot of friends who listen.
They're just like, who is Viv and who is Ro?
Yeah.
And we're like, don't we talk enough about our feelings?
Like, no, but we want to know what you guys like, what you guys don't like.
We want to hear more stories.
So today we're going to get all of that.
But before we get to the questions, let's do feelings.
Jar question okay oh, this is pretty good.
This is pretty good for this episode.
It'll set the tone, okay.
Okay, what is it?
Describe your week using a.
The summer i turn pretty character.
Okay, hold on recap.
Okay, between the three.
Or it could be any character, any character, okay.
So there's conrad connie baby, this favorite viv is in love.
Um, there's belly yes, and then there's jare, mm-hmm.
And then best friend is taylor.
Uh, belly's brother's name is steven.
Oh wow, you're really good at remembering these names.
We were james and i were in it.
James like oh, i don't want to watch this.
And like up season three, episode seven, he was like i'm invested.
He didn't watch anything before, he just watched that episode.
He's like this is so bad uh-huh, but i'm so invested.
That's crazy.
That's crazy, right?
Yeah.
It was so good.
I mean, it was so bad, but it was so good.
A little context.
I've been.
I watched season one and season two as it came out, which is like years ago, right like i was in new york, i didn't even know about the show, they didn't even know about the show.
So season three came out, first episode, second episode.
I was like wow, this is a train wreck.
It's so bad that it's so good you have to watch it, viv.
So she's like okay, like i don't really know, she like watches the first episode of the first season.
And what did you think?
I was really confused that Ro would recommend the show to me just because it's so like It's not that it's like unlike you, but it's just not what I expected.
Yeah.
I think for me, it was like the first episode of watching it, the acting was just so...
I don't even know how to describe it.
No, I didn't because I still love the show, you know?
Okay.
Before we even get there.
I think it's really funny because um, we had that conversation before, like during summer, right?
Yeah.
And it was funny because the show that she recommended to me was A Summer I Turned Pretty.
And then the show that I recommended to her was When Life Gives You Tangerines.
And they are two completely different shows.
They cannot be more different.
Yeah.
But anyways, okay.
So...
So those are the shows we told each other to watch so we can talk about on the podcast.
So Viv watched one episode, was questioning her life and me.
And then she kept going and she was like, nostalgia.
Yeah, it was so good.
I basically binged it.
And when I got to the last episode, it happened to be on like the week of the season finale.
The last episode of season two.
Of season three.
Yeah oh, oh.
So i watched season one two three, and it just so happened that i caught up to the second to last episode right when the finale came out.
So i actually had to wait for the finale.
Wow, and it was Girl.
At least you didn't have to wait week to week.
It was painful.
I know.
I can't imagine.
And I think the best way to describe it is that it's like a reality TV show.
Like, things are going up in flames.
Everything is just...
Like, everything you can think of is just bad.
Like, the main character is making questionable decisions.
Things are going on that you're just like, why is this happening?
But then it's like, you're so invested because it's like reality TV.
Yeah.
Right?
It's like, it's so bad that you're like, but I need to know what happens.
Yeah.
The thing is, like, I don't even know if it was, like, bad.
Because I was so hooked.
Like I I was.
So let me be clear that it's still good.
Yeah, i'm not gonna say it's great.
This isn't supposed to be like an emmy nominated like motion picture award thing, but it got the job done.
Clearly we're talking about it.
This is the first show.
I think we talked this passionately about this podcast yes, um.
And then also we also realize there's like numbers floating around of like who is the target demographic?
Who are the most folks turning into the summer?
I turn pretty, it's middle, middle-aged women, aka us, because we're middle-aged now.
Okay, so After all that context, would you like to share your week with a character?
Would you like me to share what you're going to share first?
You start.
I'm trying to think.
How would I describe my week with a Summer I Turned Pretty character?
I think you were Taylor.
Wait, in which season and why?
Taylor to me is just so chaotic. no no no you're not chaotic but i feel like you're my week was because you're planning for so many things yeah and work has been busy too yes and so in that sense maybe like in the the last season where she was kind of like scrambling around and she had her job yeah and then she found out that her boyfriend oh no she found out that her boyfriend was gonna move and didn't tell her yeah yeah that was definitely my week because i also got mad at rory for something but um yeah i had a kind of busy chaotic week and i was gonna say taylor or Because, well, Conrad in the sense that I feel like he's always a little bit stressed.
He's just always brooding.
Always in his head a little bit.
And like, what do I do?
Like, yeah.
Everything's to be perfect.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So a little bit of both.
Okay.
Do we want to share why?
Oh, yes.
Just, you know, opening up our hearts.
And why i was feeling so chaotic and lashed out at rory this week is because i am getting married next week.
So when this episode comes out, i will be married wild yeah wild, and it like chaotic not in the sense that like anything was actually crazy.
It's not bad chaos no, it was just like, i think, leading up to any event right, even if you're going to a party yeah, you just have lots of thoughts and feelings that come up, of course, especially for your wedding day.
Yeah yeah, so that's coming in less than a week actually.
Yeah, so that that really colored my week.
My week was like steven steven okay, i think he's like the saving grace he's other than giving connie attitude and not like fully apologizing for being a being an a-hole.
Um, they just had that conversation when they're playing games.
He was like oh, no one hates you, Conrad.
Don't worry about it.
But then, other than that, I feel like he's the most level-headed character.
Who the F is Daisy Morales?
Yeah, I think this past week was like a nice balance of like mothering.
And then I think I'm finally getting in the swing of things where I'm making time for DIY.
Like I'm playing with clay.
I made like the paper garlands that are going viral on Instagram for Christmas, like Christmas decor.
Yeah, I think I'm balancing things well well right now and i'm also in a place where i'm not feeling guilty for just allowing myself time to do the things that i want to do.
And i think we need to spend like a whole episode on this, because i'm not even at the root of whatever has been happening or like what i even feel.
But there's just this huge, like we talked about last episode.
Like this huge, there's like a lot of permission has been given to thyself And it feels great.
And I feel calm, cool, and collected.
Just like Steven.
Yeah, just like how he got into a car accident.
He's just everything about his life changed.
I like that.
Okay.
Okay.
Oh, questions.
Questions, questions.
Let's get started.
Okay, first question.
What are your thoughts about marriage as a milestone for your 20s, 30s and relationships in general?
How timely.
Okay.
I was actually thinking about this recently.
I feel like when you get engaged or when you're getting married, these are milestones.
Right, quote milestones.
I think objectively it is in milestone, yeah.
Yeah, because it's like a choice, a decision, a commitment, something shifts in the relationship.
What i thought?
Yes, i do think these are milestones, but i think that, within the context of the relationship and the feeling that you have um, when you like deepen a relationship with someone, it doesn't necessarily depend on being engaged or getting married.
And I was trying to figure out in the last month did my relationship with Rory feel like get so much closer because we got engaged?
Or is it because we're like planning to get married and planning a wedding?
Is that what made us get even closer?
And it's hard to say yes or no right, because it did.
It did end up making us get closer, but i feel like in general, every year that i've been in this relationship.
If you're in a relationship where you're able to grow together, those are milestones, like being able to solve conflicts in a shorter turnaround period, right?
Like that is a milestone to me.
And I just remember like we got in a fight last week and I was thinking wow, that was a really quick turnaround.
Like we resolved that really fast.
Like resolving the- conflict.
Resolving the conflict yeah, really fast, versus maybe three years ago it would have been 24 hours, right.
It would have been like we left things unsaid overnight and like we went to sleep angry and stuff.
So when I think about my relationship at least, those feel more like milestones that you're unable to put a label on it, and that's why i don't think you need to get married or be engaged to have these milestones.
Marriage as a milestone, i feel like, as we said, it is a milestone right to like.
It's like such a huge thing in your life and such a beautiful thing.
Seeing it as a milestone or using it as a milestone, it's like with anything in life, it depends on how much weight we give it.
So i think like i don't know if i'm reading the question right, but maybe it's like oh Like, maybe they're feeling anxious or maybe they feel like oh, by the time I'm like by the end of my 20s, I'm married.
By the end of my 30s, I'm married.
So I think in that context, like everything you said yeah, I think it's how much weight you give it.
If this is something that's so important to you and you want to make it happen, then it's going to be this thing that's like looming over you, maybe even like controlling a lot of, or just dictating or influencing a lot of what you do or what you don't do.
But if we're able to just kind of let it be and let go, because I think that's kind of that's where I ended up when I was single for like six years.
I was just like, I'm learning to be happy by myself.
I want to live life so that if it never happens, if I never find the right person, then I'm okay with being by myself forever.
Obviously that's not what I want, but I think for you to genuinely get to a place where, just like I love my own company, I'm fine on my own.
I think that is usually when the universe is like Wink wink, you know like, here's someone your way.
And this actually happened to our friend, Leah.
Oh, yeah.
And I just feel like when we give something so much weight, it kind of clouds our judgment or it kind of takes us in a different direction.
But if we're just able to be like meh, it's fine to add on to what you're saying.
If getting married is a huge milestone for you that you value and you prioritize and your partner is not ready to get married, but you have this like milestone in your head, i feel like when that disconnect happens like, are you gonna leave them?
Are you going to leave them because they are not fitting your timeline?
Right.
Or like, what does the relationship mean to you?
Um, what does the relationship feel like?
And it goes back to what you're saying where, at the end of the day, it's what, how much value you put to it, right?
Is it that you want to get married?
Um, or is it that you want to grow in a relationship, right?
And it could be both.
And it could be a mix of things, because I think for both of us too, when it came time to getting engaged, there was like Hey, is it going to happen soon?
Like, Hey, you know, we should go ring shopping.
Like we definitely, we move things.
Yeah.
And I'm not going to stay here and be like, Oh yeah.
Like everything just fell into place.
Like we had, we, we wanted to get married.
Right.
And when there was a little bit of nudging, maybe a lot of nudging, a lot of it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But at the end of the day, I think, for example, I wanted to be married at 28.
Me too.
And that didn't happen.
So it's okay, right?
I think you kind of just take it one year at a time.
And to answer the hypothetical questions you brought up, it's if you're with someone who doesn't want to get married, do you stay or do you leave?
We have friends who stay, we have friends who have left, right?
And I think it's just, it's so personal.
Yeah, if you have follow-up questions and more specific questions, if you guys can give us juicy details, it can all be anonymous.
We will leave a link in the description of how you can call in and leave us a voicemail, because the hugs hotline has been I was is officially.
No, it has been open.
Yes.
So the more details, the better.
Yes.
Ready for the next question.
A guy you're about to go on a date with is following a lot of baddie influencers.
Are you judging?
I'm for sure.
I'm sorry but I am judging.
Yeah yeah, i remember in my past relationships i would literally go through their entire follow list And if there was a model that basically did not look like me, I would get self-conscious.
Okay, another thing is these baddie influencers are also posting half-naked pictures, right?
And it's sort of like, why do you need to look at that?
Yeah yeah no, i same.
Yeah, with my ex, i was very uh, you just go through who they're following 99 of them.
You know, not 99 like like maybe 80 70, 80 percent.
Um, we're all like models.
This is during like, the triangle bikini era oh yes, so the triangle bikini models.
There's like a bunch of them who are like still pretty big now, but anyway yeah, you just look at that and you feel insecure um, but I also feel like to be fair, when we were with our exes, this was also during the time when social media like Instagram just started.
Yeah, so I think the way that guys, in 2025, if like, if there's one or two that you're just like she's gorgeous, that is fine.
But if, like the majority of your following list, it's so people follow you from work, you know, like people, like girls on hinge or like whatever they can see, like the.
The looking at the following list is such a thing that i feel like, by 2025, most guys who are You know, like I'm pointing at my head or like, smart enough.
Well no, that at least just like search up their, search up their profile if you really want to see their stuff.
Right.
But yeah.
Yeah.
Sorry.
Nope.
Red flag.
Don't go on a date with him.
What is something you hate to admit is true about you?
I am very undisciplined.
Narrate the thoughts going through your mind right now.
Let's go.
I wouldn't have used undisciplined as a word to describe you, but it makes like so much sense, like you're always late.
You're always very spontaneous right, like you take the day as you take, the hour as it comes sometimes, and i do that, but then it's also hilarious because Your YouTube channel has so much structure productivity, healthy habits.
But I think that's why.
I think it's like, okay, it's like the second child, right?
Like the younger child.
My parents would always say, like in Chinese when the sky falls, like you're so unfazed because you have mom dad, brother.
Like if mom and dad doesn't like... hold it up.
You have your brother holding it up.
And it's just classic second child behavior.
And I think back to growing up in middle school and high school.
I come home, I watch TV.
I don't really do homework.
So I think at my best, There's this very intense side of me that I think you can relate to.
When you do something you really want to do, you go all in like pottery.
I think for me, when I was in New York, it was spirituality and work and went all in.
And you know what's crazy?
I was...
I literally walked out of the shower yesterday because I'm listening to an audiobook The Courage to be Disliked.
And it talks about how you prevent yourself from getting into relationships because you don't want to get hurt.
And this is something we've talked about a lot already all the time.
But I got out of the shower and I was just like I don't remember the last time I just hung out with a friend, because yesterday james's friends just happened to come over.
Like two guys are just bantering hanging out with baby and having a great time, and i was like oh, like it's so nice, like wow, that's so nice, and i thought i'm like yeah, like viv's coming over tomorrow and like viv's like probably the only friend that comes over.
She comes over because we work and i'm like that's kind of i don't know if I don't think I don't know.
I don't know if that's sad, but I was just like It was just a moment where you realized something.
Yeah.
Noticed something.
Yeah.
But anyway, I think, like I don't know how this got there, but in New York I was just so focused on the things that I was focusing on that I kind of didn't do anything else.
And I think ever since I moved back, there's like the resistance of like the...
And then now I'm just like, I'm just doing everything else other than working.
Yeah.
I guess disciplined versus extreme, like fully in something is different.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because I think you can be like fully into.
I think I have a sliding scale.
Yeah, i'm just like so disciplined or not disciplined at all.
Yeah, it's very rare for me to just like i've been writing, like i don't journal as much now because i don't have time um, that's also another excuse, like whatever.
But every time i do, i'm just like i want to wake up earlier, i want to do all these things.
It's been like two years, but it's okay, it's a season.
I mean, I don't think mine's gonna be funny.
Like, I mean, not that yours was meant to be funny.
I just found it funny.
So I sometimes like to pride myself as being someone who's organized and like really, really planned and stuff.
But I think I'm actually a micromanager.
And it's terrible terrible, and i think i was thinking about this the other day because right now at work i have i'm just like working on so many projects and every time i work on a project i'm i want to show you, but i don't, because then you'll see that i'm a micromanager.
Like i break every single task down, i'm like this, by this date, should be estimated to be like done, like i feel like it's project manager ish.
But then when i have these meetings with the people who are gonna help me, i always start by saying i'm so sorry, i think i might be a micromanager, because after I created the plan and I'm saying it out loud I'm like I'm really not giving people the autonomy to think and figure it out on their own.
But yeah, that's something that I guess I do admit, but I don't like. about myself.
But then I also noticed this too, because when I was figuring out all the wedding details, the little details, I was telling Rory that Hey, I really want this to be an us thing.
Like I want it to feel like we are doing this together.
And then so he'd come home and be like, okay, I'm ready to help you.
And then I'd say like, no, it's okay.
Like you just sit there and watch me fold, or like watch me cut, or like watch me do these DIY things, because I don't want him to mess it up.
Exactly.
You know what your answer reminded me of, what it's the classic interview question of what is your weakness?
You're like i'm a perfectionist.
Yeah basically, i'm sorry, i'm so detail-oriented that i'm gonna micromanage you.
So yeah, but i feel like embarrassed about it.
Yeah, but i do get shit done at work so, Anyways.
Great question.
Okay.
I love hearing about interactions with people at parties or events or run-ins with old flames or friends and how you handled that situation.
Let's do old flames go, Vivian.
Coachella 20... 22... How many X's?
Okay.
I have only dated... like not that many people and they're all from socal anyways this was really really crazy um i was at coachella with rory who's my boyfriend and we're like walking to a set we bump into my ex who were all kind of like we all kind of know each other they lump into our group as we go to the next set, okay?
So it was funny though, because I'm walking in the front and they're in the back, and we're not standing next to each other.
So anyways, we're walking towards the set and then as we get to the set and we like- Settle.
Yeah, settle there.
I turn and literally my ex before my ex was standing like not that far from me.
No okay, further than that.
Further than that yeah, because i think i would have freaked out a little bit.
So we're at the set and a set is usually 40 minutes to an hour, maybe that entire set.
Like my boyfriend, my ex-boyfriend, my ex-ex-boyfriend were all in the same vicinity and i was just.
I just remember thinking at the time i was like like that was your past decade.
Yeah, standing all watching the same performance.
Yeah, it was crazy.
And it was also interesting because like, even though they were there, they all had such different versions of me so it almost felt like my past past and my past, my present, were just like all their past, present and my future.
Yeah, like everything was there and i like grabbed rory and i was like, oh my god, like my ex is right there and my other ex is right there and he's like just looking around, like it was.
It was totally fine, though he was, he was.
Yeah, i think both of us are fine when it comes to exes and stuff.
Mentally were you?
Were you okay?
Yeah, I was.
And I think like, so with my last ex, it's always been fine seeing like him.
And then with the ex before, I think I felt like, I don't like this.
Yeah.
No eye contact, no like saying hi or anything.
But that last time, when we were all together at Coachella I think it was probably because I was in a relationship where I felt good, that was always helpful right, like if you're not in a good place and you bump into an ex, you're like no, like i want to be more beautiful, i want to be like happier and like more better off.
You were hottie, hottie with the body.
Yeah 2022 no yes, yeah.
So i just felt yeah, it was you were, you were in your era, i remember.
So that was my.
That was the last time.
That like well, that was just like a memorable time where everyone was all together.
I'm just very friendly with all of my exes.
My first ex, we still have this.
It's like my high school friends, but still just always there.
And then my second ex, just we still like before I moved out of New York, we had dinner.
And then like everything is fine.
I have a lot of stories from when I used to go out a lot.
We'd love to hear the stories when you used to go out.
If you guys have specific questions.
Hugs hotline, baby.
Hugs hotline, baby.
Just ask away.
The most relevant story right now that's like fresh in my mind.
James and I just got a pinball machine.
I love playing pinball.
I didn't know that.
Yeah, I love playing pinball.
And James being James was like, oh, my God, your interest is my interest.
Like, let me look into this.
And so we started going to pinball arcades with our baby just to like play.
It's like not even a it's not a bar.
It's just like it just they just have pinballs.
This like memory just like flashed in my mind.
With an ex?
No, it wasn't even with an ex.
This was like when I was single out of like my past, my last relationship.
I was just hanging out with my friends at a barcade and then just playing pinball.
This guy comes up to me.
He's like, hey.
I'm like, ew, in my mind.
He's like, hey.
To be fair.
Okay, when I walk into a room, I actually...
I don't look at people like I just go to who I know and then like I'm not the type to like scan the room because I think it's I don't want.
I'm an empath.
I'm not saying that.
But I feel like when I look at people, I can just I take in too much information that I feel like I don't want to know.
So then I just don't scan the room.
Almost anyone who comes up to me, I'll be like, ew.
Okay?
I'm the type of person.
It's very Sagittarius.
I'm the type of person who I will choose.
Except for you, listener.
Okay?
Except for you.
No, no, no.
If you guys come up.
No, I'm talking about the opposite sex.
Okay, okay.
If you're trying to hit on me, first of all, i think, like my, i was like anyone who goes up to you no no no no no no, it's my person would not just like come up to me and hit on me.
So i think that's why if like, an opposite sex comes up to me like hey, i'd be like oh.
So anyway, this guy comes to me, he's like hey, i'm like okay hi, just like trying to banter.
And you know like oh, what do you do?
Um, like oh, you're so pretty, like blah blah, blah.
And eventually he goes like, can i get your number?
And i'm like oh no, it's okay.
And he's like, how about we play a round of pinball?
If i win, you give me your number.
If you win, you don't need to give me your number.
So i was like bet replay ding ding ding ding ding ding, ding.
I get like the high score of the day.
I don't even remember what we're playing.
Yes.
Yes.
And he's like, well, here's my business card.
Oh my God.
Please reach out to me if you like ever change your mind.
I'm like okay, you're like, thank you, bye.
Like i, these are my internal thoughts, like i'm not gonna be like l to like the person's face, like i'm not like that, and with the business cards, like i'm still gonna take it because, like i don't want them to feel too bad.
Yeah, it's like i'm still gonna be nice and kind about it.
I think that's like the most important thing, like have your internal thoughts girls, but just still be kind.
I love these internal thoughts.
Yeah um, so that's like that is one story.
There's a lot more.
There's a decade of these stories.
Yeah, i don't think i've ever heard that one, which is crazy.
Yeah, i feel like i know a lot of your stories raised okay okay oh, go ahead.
Wait, i will say okay, there's one um, i'm just unhinged.
Okay, hong kong 2020.
13.
Right.
Both of us are starting studying abroad.
There was a Milan.
We have more stories.
We have a lot of stories.
I'm not sharing.
I'm not sharing my study abroad story were at a club or no.
We were just at um, like a bar.
Like every wednesday you go to lkf, it's like the bar street, and then um, there's like a dance floor in the middle of this bar called, i think, like china bar um, so anyway, i was like i was like walking in and then getting friends, getting drinks with friends, and i see this guy.
He's like like i don't rarely, i rarely look at people.
So when i see someone i'm like oh, this guy's real handsome.
I think he's like mixed tall, um, more like Asian looking.
Uh, I was like, okay, well too bad.
I have a boyfriend who I love very much.
Right.
So I'm like, whatever, like did not think anything of it.
And then my girlfriend was like, Oh my god, i'm so junk, i need to go to the bathroom.
So i'm like okay, let's go to the bathroom, girl.
And you know the way the these clubs, they designed the bathroom to be like across this like tight dance floor, which is where the guy was.
So i was like okay, let's go.
We walk through as we walked by, this guy grabs me and he goes dance with me.
And i'm like internal thought ah, continue.
However, the words that came out of my mouth were i'm sorry, i have a boyfriend and he goes.
He's holding on to me, he goes, he looks, he looks up, he's like you do not not for tonight.
I'm like i'm sorry, i do, so i walk away.
Wow, i walked away.
Not that i would have expected anything different, it's just like now that i hear the internal thoughts, i'm like it's a drama.
But i will say the second night, because when you study abroad in hong kong, you just go drink every night at these places.
So we go back on a thursday and we actually went to a club and i saw him at the club again and he was just like prowling and i was like not a good look yeah yeah oh, this one's really funny, because this was our we're belly and jeremiah on a break.
No, No.
Were Ross and Rachel on a break?
I think the answer is no.
I like this question because it's like this happens all the time, right?
Like relationships, you get into a situation like we need some space.
We need to take a break.
And the one person goes and like sleeps with someone else.
So that's actually what happens if you didn't watch the show.
Sorry for all the spoilers.
Whatever.
Yeah, no, no.
No.
No.
No, you can't.
You can't just even if you're like, we're done.
We're done. there's still conversations that need to be had.
Or, like, just because it's done doesn't mean you can go do whatever you want to do.
Okay, okay, hold on.
Because I'm thinking about it now, right?
And I think for some people, the physical aspect is not a big deal.
And it's the emotional aspect that's a big deal.
So like, let's just say we were on a break and I someone else, but then we like got back together and i was like, but it meant nothing, it was just one night.
Okay, this is actually like every relationship and i'm sure it's happened to some of our friends who yeah, are listening.
I okay The way that I see this specific topic.
It's very black and white.
You cheat or not, right?
Emotionally, physically, to me is the same.
If you are sharing yourself this intimately, emotionally or physically with another person who's not me and they're not your mom, they're not your family, they're not your siblings right, they're not your like best boyfriends um, that to me is red flag.
Yeah, give all the excuses you want, you can like say all the sorries or whatever you want, but like what's done is done, And I think with this it's very black and white.
The underlying thing, like what the action tells you.
I think it's like yes, the action means a lot.
But it's like what it's also telling you is that they don't respect you.
They and they probably won't.
Right.
Or like they clearly don't care enough about you, you and your future together, to do something like that.
It shows you a lot more than just what was done.
Yeah, i agree with that and i, i think also it's because why do we agree on everything?
Okay well i, i agree with that because for me like, the physical aspect is so tied to the emotional aspect, So if that's not the case for the other person, there's a huge disconnect there already, right?
Like for me, that's already a huge disconnect.
I'm imagining myself like as a young 20 year old in this situation.
I think when the other person goes and does that, when you're quote, on a break we were on a break to me it feels like they couldn't sit with the pain, they couldn't sit with the hurt right, because why?
Why go do that?
Why to like, because they were upset, they were mad, they were, they were needy, they like wanted some attention or affection and i think, like the fine, doing that as a solution, even if it's just for the moment, is not something that i would do and not something that i would want.
So agree before we hit record.
We're like wouldn't it be nice if we would disagree on something, because it'll make the episode more fun one day?
We will one day, one day.
I'm looking forward to that day.
Yeah okay, one more question.
Let's see.
There's so many.
What's the catch?
But his body count is through the roof.
I'm cracking up because there's a second part.
Same prompt as above, but he hates your dog.
Um... I mean, I know my answer to this one.
What is it?
He hates my dog?
Absolutely not.
Like...
My dogs.
Charlie is the love of my life.
Like, I tell Rory this all the time.
Like, Charlie is the love of my life.
Rory's not the love of my life.
It's Charlie.
Sorry, my second dog, Louie, isn't either.
It's Charlie.
Just so we're clear.
Yeah, just so we're clear.
Just so you know what you're getting yourself into.
I'm very open about this.
And so, absolutely not.
If he hates my dog, goodbye.
What about the body count?
The body count.
I think it would be rude.
I think I'd have to know why.
Why is your body count so high?
What is high?
Why?
Why?
When?
Why?
Where?
How?
How?
Why?
Everything else seems... Why do you need it?
Is this going to be continuing in our relationship?
Has it stopped?
Is it still Is it ticking as we're talking?
These are the thoughts that would cross my mind.
If I were younger, in my 20s, I'd be like, whatever.
Like, calm, cool, collected, what does it matter?
Now that I'm older, I'm more honest with myself.
So I'll actually be like, but why?
Is there, do you think, is it your childhood?
Tell me a little bit about your childhood.
Where does this need come from?
What part of your body do you feel it most?
These are really great questions.
What color do you see?
Did you ever watch Crazy Stupid Love?
I did watch it.
This is the one with Ryan Gosling, Steve Carell, Emma Stone.
There's only two movies that I watch over and over again.
Oh, I think movies are like rewatching things and rereading the same books is a waste of time.
Yeah, me too.
However, Spirited Away and Crazy Stupid Love are like the two movies that I love.
I just it's like it's such a feel good show.
So I'm just thinking of like.
So in the movie Ryan Gosling is this like womanizer and like gets all the girls.
Like helps Steve Carell's character also like find himself in his 40s, newly divorced, to like go out in the field and like also get girls.
And then, skip this part if you don't want the spoilers, I'll give you three, two, one, okay.
Steve Carell's character has a daughter when he was like 18 and this daughter ends up finding Ryan Gosling's character and like which is Emma Stone, and they started dating.
And then the dad, Steve Carell, is like there's no way I will let you date my daughter right, um?
And but if i like oh, i'm like putting myself in this situation, young rowena, i think i would have been okay with it, but now i'm just like, i think the values are just too different, like i'm really trying to picture it, i don't know if i would not be okay.
I think it all just depends on the why yeah, or the what's next yeah yeah, what if they're like that's it, like you're my person i was so lost before mean, and i love your dog too oh, and he loves my dog um, i guess i would then consider it.
I think for me it's like the trust right, i'd have to really believe and know that, like they understand what it was for them, or like what that desire or need is.
Is it still a need because it's valid?
If it is yeah, So I would have to trust that, and that would probably be a journey of itself, because I have lots of who why when where, how.
Still,
Just curious.
Yeah.
I just want to know.
Yeah.
This is a very different episode.
I enjoyed it.
It was funny.
It was fun.
It was really fun.
Really?
We laughed a lot.
I feel like a new side of us came out, which is the plan and the goal for this season.
Yeah.
And like, it's cold, but the heater's on.
So I think both our noses are running.
I saw yours and I was like, oh, it's not just me.
Okay.
So if you were inspired by any of these questions, if it sparked anything for you, if you're like, oh my God.
Or if you just hated this episode.
Just let us know.
If you hated this episode, let us know.
If you don't like the direction we're going.
We're not going towards the direction.
Um, this is just really fun for us, anyways.
Yes, we have the hugs hotline.
Please send us more questions.
This is really fun.
Send us your situations too.
You know, if you're in a sticky situation, if you're in a little pickle yeah, and you want some advice, We're here for you.
Just give all the deets.
As much deets as possible and the specific questions you're looking for.
Yeah yeah amazing, okay.
Well, you guys know where to find us instagram at voice hugs podcast.
Email hello at voicehugspodcastcom.
And then our hugs hotline link will be found on our instagram as well and on youtube description.
Say hi, we love you guys, sending you a big hug wherever you are around the world.
Voice hugs.
