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me i'm not crazy about the beach going in the waves totally fun for a little bit but like all day and like many people over 40 i have no desire to ever be seen in a bathing suit by anyone ever for the rest of my life but you know where i'm heading just hours from now after I leave the studio today?
The beach. For a week.
And why? Because it's summer.
Hating the beach during summer, and I believe I can say this with authority from personal experience, hating the beach in summer is like being a Jew at Christmas.
You can try to sit it out, but it's just too big.
At some point, you're going to drink some eggnog.
And you know what? When I go to the beach, I try.
I really try to get into it.
Have a nice time to appreciate the waves and the sand and the heat.
And I think about how many hundreds and thousands of years that families have brought their kids to the water's edge to play pretty much exactly the same dumb way that we play in the sand and waves today.
How many ways are there to do that anyway?
It's just nice to be part of something that's been happening forever.
And, you know, some people really love it so much. A while back here on a radio show, we all saw this article about somebody like that.
At the time, he was a 66 -year -old lifeguard who was suing New York State for age discrimination.
And I just want to pause on that for a second.
A 66 -year -old lifeguard. All of us here on our staff, we had no idea like that could even exist. We all thought lifeguarding is something you do when you're in high school, maybe a couple years after, into your 20s.
Like who's still lifeguarding at 66?
and then it was even more of a question when we realized that the lifeguard in this story he has another job he's a lawyer, he's a working lawyer his name is Rory Lester he's a bankruptcy attorney he's got his own firm in Long Island and then he lifeguards every weekend in the summer and can I just say today on our program we have stories about people like him people who love this summer not people like me From WBZ Chicago It's This American Life I'm Ira Glass.
We prepared today a program to listen to with the sun beating down on you, the humidity through the roof, a show of people embracing summer and everything about summer.
Today's show is a rerun, and let's just get right to it with Act One.
Act One, The Grapes of Wrath.
So one of our producers, Janet Chivas, she went out to Long Island and met that guy, Roy Lester, the 66 -year -old attorney lifeguard who was suing New York State.
Basically the deal is that they tried to make him wear a Speedo.
He refused. He lost his job.
Here's Dana. If you ask Roy, why are you still lifeguarding at 66, he barely understands the question.
It's so self -evident to him.
It's been his life since he was 16.
He and his buddies were kings of the beach. He lived with other lifeguards.
His best man at his wedding was a lifeguard. Their kids grew up playing together on the beach while they were on duty.
He never wanted to leave this job.
Even when he went to law school in California, he came back to lifeguard every summer.
In law school, aren't you supposed to have an internship in a law firm or something like that?
You're supposed to.
Did you not do that?
No, I did not do that.
I never took it quite that seriously.
The idea of giving up the summer was something I just couldn't do.
He's not alone. At Jones Beach, where he worked for 40 years, there are dozens of guys.
Teachers, firemen, police, who stayed with it into their 60s.
Lifeguarding at Jones Beach is such a thing that a former lifeguard made a film about it.
It's called Jones Beach Boys.
Roy insisted I watch it.
I did. It was awesome.
Here's my favorite song from it.
We're going for the rescue and getting to the victim.
I never really appreciated how thrilling lifeguarding is until Roy talked about rescues.
We were sitting in his law office.
The exhilaration of a good rescue is unlike anything you've ever had, you know?
And you don't get that.
I sit here and I shuffle papers.
I wouldn't call it exciting.
I wouldn't call it rewarding.
But this is, you're actually accomplishing something.
You're up there and all of a sudden you're going out in the water and the rest of the world is behind you.
There's nothing else except between you getting from your stand to that victim.
That's the only thing.
And it's great. It's a great feeling.
How many people do you think you've rescued in your career?
Over a thousand. A thousand?
Yeah. You have to remember, there were times we would have 40 rescues in an hour.
What? Why? What? Why?
Why? Because you have people that come down to Jones Beach who really don't know about swimming.
So, especially when you have a current, and you can get a very strong current at Jones Beach. A thousand rescues.
That's way more rescues than David Hasselhoff did on Baywatch. Figure, two rescues per episode, ten years on the air, Roy would still beat him by 560 rescues.
Which is to say, Roy is one of the lifeguardiest lifeguards there is.
He had two wins at the National Lifeguard Competition.
He served as an expert lifeguard witness in court cases.
And all was well in his happy lifeguarding world until the Speedo Mishagas began in 2007.
Here's what happened.
If you're a lifeguard at Jones Beach, you have to take a physical fitness test every year to prove that you're still able to do the job.
It includes a speed test in a pool.
You have to swim 100 yards in a minute 20, which is actually pretty fast. A lot of these guys train all year for it.
For 15 years, Roy took the swim test in his preferred swimsuit, a pair of jammers.
They look like bike shorts without the butt cushion.
If you're watching the Olympics right now, all the male swimmers are wearing them.
They're tight and they go down to just above the knee.
But when Roy showed up for the test in 2007, he was told, no jammers.
His bosses at the Office of Parks and Recreation said, you can only do the test in one of the official Jones Beach lifeguard swimsuits, which means you have three choices, board shorts, trunks, or Speedo.
Board shorts and trunks are loose, so nobody really takes a swim test in them because they create more drag and slow you down.
So in effect, state officials were saying to Roy, you have to take the test in a Speedo.
Roy said, no way, I won't do it.
And he hasn't been a lifeguard at Jones Beach since.
It was one of those feelings like, am I making the right decision?
I'm throwing away a 40 -year career over a principal.
It was a difficult decision, a very difficult decision.
How long did it take you to decide?
A second. I really need to point out, he would only have to wear the Speedo for the test. which lasts a minute and 20 seconds.
On the job, he'd wear board shorts.
Most of the lifeguards do, young and old.
Why not just put it on for the test, though?
Why didn't Rosa Park just go to the back of the bus?
There were plenty of seats.
Of course, what Roy was fighting for is quite different from what Rosa Parks was fighting for.
But to Roy, it's the principle of the thing, standing up to age discrimination.
discrimination. When I read about all this in the New York Times, I really didn't understand.
What's the connection between a speedo and age discrimination?
I've certainly seen older dudes in speedos.
So I went out and met Roy on a beach not far from his house in Long Island.
It was 6 .45 in the morning.
He was about to go for a mile swim before work.
So Roy, can you describe what you're wearing right now?
Well, it's a wetsuit.
It's a short -sleeved wetsuit, and I have my jammers on underneath.
Roy brought one of his official Jones Beach Speedos to the beach to show me.
Just describe it for me.
It's an exaggerated thong, for lack of a better word. But it's full coverage in the back, so it's not quite a thong, right?
Not quite a thong, right.
But to Roy and lots of guys, it might as well be a thong, which is why the Speedo has earned a stable of nicknames.
The Weenie Bikini, the Ding -a -Ling Sling, the Speed Don't, The banana hammock.
The grape smuggler.
The Miami meat tent.
The San Tropez truffle duffel.
The scrote tote. The reason the jammer is preferred by older lifeguards is that you're saying it's more discreet?
Modest. More modest. Yes.
Than the Speedo. Yes.
Because it covers your thighs.
I, you know, I don't want to get graphic.
but you're the word begins with be basically you're hanging out with the speedo I get it now I think you don't really with the jammers it's not like that there's like a little bit more of a roof over your house yes this is the nut of his argument Roy says once he passed 50 he felt self -conscious in a Speedo.
And nobody should have to feel self -conscious to get a job.
So, Roy refuses to put on the grape smuggler to take the swim test. A few weeks later, there's another chance to take the test. He shows up.
And this time, he is wearing the official Speedo.
He's just got it on over his jammers.
He showed me a video of a conversation he recorded on the pool deck that day.
It was a little windy, so the sound isn't great.
But he's standing in front of of Sue Giuliani, who was the director of Jones Beach State Park at the time.
And there he is, in his Jammers plus Speedo outfit, challenging her to turn him away.
Joe Scalise, the director of water safety for the state beaches, cuts in.
Or not. I'm wearing my official suit.
So you're not swimming now.
All right, let's go.
Did you just go home then?
Basically. Well, I stayed around and I, you know, watched everybody take the test. Were there other people taking the test in jammers?
No. No, nobody was allowed to take the test in jammers.
So everybody else either put on a speedo or put on the board shorts, something like that.
Yeah, Roy says he could have worn board shorts or trunks and still passed the test. He says he could have worn dungarees and passed.
The guy is in ridiculous shape.
He does triathlons now, coaches a swim team.
In 2012, he had a hip replaced, and seven weeks later, he came in first in his age group in Bermuda's Round the Sound swim race, a 1 .2 -mile open -water swim.
He was still using a cane to walk.
So the easy thing for Roy to do would be just take the test in board shorts or speedo and keep the job he loved.
Let bureaucrats be bureaucrats.
Just get on with it.
That's not Roy. Roy does not back down from a fight.
So he sued. He sued the New York State Office of Parks, Recreation, and Historic Preservation for $5 million.
Now, the easy thing for the state would have been to just let Jones Beach lifeguards wear jammers.
Presumably, if they're good enough for the Olympic swim team, they're good enough for New York's lifeguards.
But that's not New York State.
It decided to fight.
The lawsuit has worked its way through the lower court, which dismissed it, to the appellate court, which ruled in May that it should go to trial.
This has been going on for seven years.
Seven years! Roy sent me a PDF of his exhibits in the case.
It was 1 ,300 pages long.
And the thing I really want to know, because I live in New York and pay taxes in New York, is why is the state using taxpayer dollars to fight the Speedo suit?
This could all have been resolved very easily years ago if they just changed the rule.
Aloud the jammers. Why are Roy and the state fighting each other when they should unite against the real enemy?
Jellyfish. Officials from the state of New York wouldn't talk to me for this story.
The Attorney General's office wouldn't talk.
Neither would Parks and Rec.
But they did send me the affidavit of a guy named George Gorman.
He oversees all the parks in Long Island.
And it lays out their side of the story.
Around 2006, some of the Jones Beach lifeguards started taking the swim test in full -body swimsuits.
Management became concerned that those guys were only passing because they were wearing the full -body swimsuits.
So they decided to change the rules.
Starting in 2007, lifeguards could only take the test in one of the three official Jones Beach uniform swimsuits.
No more full -body suits, and also no jammers, because jammers aren't part of the uniform.
In his deposition, George Gorman said, quote, we determined it was best that the lifeguards wear the uniforms that they're assigned to wear while they're on duty.
Seems reasonable, right?
Not if you're Roy. He points out, if jammers really are significantly faster, wouldn't you want your lifeguards to wear a faster suit, get them out to drowning victims sooner?
And as it happens, New York Parks and Rec allows lifeguards to take their qualifying test in jammers in the rest of the state.
Upstate. I went upstate to take the test and I wore my jammers, you know.
You took the test upstate?
Yes, and I wore my jammers.
And people wore the jammers and I have pictures of that and that's part of the exhibit of guys taking the test in their jammers.
Upstate? Yes, their same employer.
New York State Department of Recreation, the same employer, allows the jammers.
So your theory about this is that they're targeting Long Island because why?
Because 90 % of the older, the over 50 lifeguards work on Long Island.
It's the biggest group of older lifeguards anywhere.
For what it's worth, the state told me that the rules are different on Long Island because it's a more strenuous job lifeguarding on the ocean.
Upstate, it's all lakes and pools.
Why do you think it is that they don't want older lifeguards?
Well, I think they don't like the fact that older lifeguards have influence over the younger guys.
And when you're a member of management, you don't want anybody having influence over your employees except you.
And when you have to deal with the union and you have to deal with the officers of the unions who are all older guys and they know the beach, you don't want that.
Yep, there's a lifeguard union.
Roy was the president of the union for years.
And at that point in 2007, when he refused to wear the Speedo, he was the union's chief negotiator.
When Sue Giuliani tells him to follow the rules.
So that you cannot win.
She knows him. He's the guy the union sends to argue its side.
And these guys telling him he can't wear his jammers, they're management.
This is a scantily clad labor dispute.
I asked some other older lifeguards about this, and three out of the four of them agreed.
This is about the union, which actually has a history of fighting age discrimination.
In 1966, they went on strike because the state tried to impose an age limit of 35 for Jones Beach lifeguards.
So they walked off the beach. A week later, the state caved.
Knowing this, that the suits and the swimsuits have a history with each other, that helped me understand what Roy's fight was really about.
Roy told me one reason he took a stand was that management was supposed to tell the union if they wanted to change a rule like this.
And this time, they didn't.
Roy's got a weekend job now at a private beach club.
But it's not the same.
I like where I'm working now.
I really do. But you get one rescue a year if you're lucky.
And then it's what's called the puddle jumper.
What is a puddle jumper?
A puddle jumper is where you really don't even need to get your head wet.
And you, at Jones Beach, in the old days, we would have these tremendous rescues.
Just these great rescues.
His friends from Jones Beach tease him that he's in exile now.
How often do you go visit them?
Not that often. I keep in touch with them constantly, but I don't go down there that often.
To be honest, it does hurt.
It hurts to go down there.
That was my beach. It was my home for so many years.
If Roy's theory is true, then the state is trying to get rid of the older lifeguards on Long Island by forcing them into Speedos.
But if that's true, as far as I can tell, the only lifeguard they've managed to get rid of is Roy.
Dana Chiffis is one of the producers of our show.
Since we first ran this story in 2016, Roy has returned to Jones Beach. He takes a fitness test and a Speedo every year alongside everybody else and is back working as a lifeguard. He's 75 now.
More summer stuff coming up.
Stay with us. It's American Life.
We have arrived at Act 2 of our program, Act 2, Say Yes to Summer.
So back when we first broadcast this episode, I had just finished making a movie with Mike Birbiglio, who's on our show sometimes.
And the movie's about improv comedians.
And I thought that it would be fun to invite some here on the show to do stuff about summer and we got some great ones.
John Lutz, Tammy Sager, Conor Ratcliffe, Gary Richardson, Kate Micucci, Shannon O 'Neill, who's the artistic director of an improv theater, the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater.
Amber Biglia came too.
And they did this show at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater in New York and they did it in this style of improv where the way it works is that somebody tells a true story on stage and then the performers make up scenes based on things in that real story and then somebody else tells another true story which kicks off more improvised scenes and so on.
And so if you just want to picture this, the cast and I are on stage, there's an audience, and we started this show with a true story that I told.
So when I was 13, my parents had enough money to take us on one of our very first family vacations.
And we went to Florida.
And one of the things that made this possible is that we got a deal on the hotel.
My dad was an accountant.
I grew up in Baltimore.
And we got the deal because my dad was the accountant for the the Baltimore branch franchise of the Playboy Club.
And I would just say now, it's sort of hard to remember if you're under 40, I think.
There was a point where Playboy was cool.
It's sort of unimaginable now, but if you imagine you couldn't get porn on your phone.
And so we were going to go down.
Playboy owned hotels, and they had a hotel in Miami called the Playboy Plaza.
So we were going to be at this hotel that seemed very glamorous.
There were going to be Playboy bunnies at the hotel serving drinks at the bar and at the pool.
I was a 13 -year -old boy.
This was incredible.
We were going to fly in an airplane.
It was one of the very first times I ever did that, also incredible.
There would be the ocean, which being from Baltimore, we called the ocean.
and so this had all the makings of a great vacation and then when we got to the hotel it was everything we wanted and in addition the Jackson 5 was staying there August of 1972 Michael Jackson and I are the same age we were both 13 and so you would see the Jackson 5 come out of the elevator for dinner dressed all in completely matching gold suede suits with fringe and you would see them at the pool just like the playing in the pool like other kids and which was us and I should say like I remember goofing around in the pool with like the youngest one who was seven years old a girl because she seemed
like the most approachable I knew she wasn't actually famous later of course I learned she is Janet Jackson.
I played Marco Polo with Janet Jackson.
And I brought with me a photo of me and Michael Jackson from that vacation.
I have it here. Now, before I show this to you, I need to preface with some context which is that while the Jacksons were becoming international superstars I myself was working in the entertainment business I had gone to the Baltimore County Public Library and taken out some books on how to do magic tricks and I was doing birthday parties all over Baltimore County for fees as high as $10 also animal baloonery and so here is the photo and the audience here can see that my back is to the camera what I'm doing, you can't see my hands I'm doing the disappearing coin trick and the expression on Michael
Jackson's face he is literally rolling his eyes so just to explain to the radio audience the cast is sitting on stools with microphones and so uh you guys heard the opening story it's on you marco polo marco polo Marco Polo Polo Marco You really don't know where we are?
I love the Jackson 5 Well what do you say guys?
Should we give him a show?
We have been workshopping a pool song.
Hey, you're not going to sing the pool song without Tito.
Hey guys, I heard we're singing the new pool song.
Ugh, Michael, no one wants you here.
Hold on, let me put on my swimming gloves.
Oh no, I lost one. So are we going to sing this pool song or what?
Well, I've got my bass guitar right here.
I could walk us on in with a Bo -boom, ba -do -ba -do -boom, ba -do -boom, ba -do -ba -do -boom Dip that toe in the water, dip that toe in the water I'm sliding down the slide I'm sliding down the slide Splishy splash Sliding down the slide Sliding down the slide Come on everybody And welcome the Jackson 5 To your local hotel pool Welcome us, the five of us You're gonna take this tale to school Sliding down the slide Sliding down the slide Again, we're workshopping I'm seeing Excuse me Yes, how can I help you Yes, I'm here with my son Perhaps you recognize him from birthday parties Across Bernard County
I'm okay I don't recognize him from that Joshy, introduce yourself Hello My name is Joshy The Magnificent And we've been waiting in this corner booth For five minutes And no one has come to wait on us Oh I'm very sorry about that I can take your order right now How about some drinks How could we order When the menus have disappeared Ta -da!
I'm gonna get you guys some water.
And I'll be back with some menus.
Josh, you'll have a glass of sour milk, please.
All right. All right, I'll be right back.
Josh. I love you, Mommy.
I love you. So much. So much. So much. So much. So much. I think what's special about summer when you're a kid is that it doesn't even feel like the rest of your life.
You feel like there's life and then there's summer.
and then when you get older I'm I'm embarrassed to admit this I'm barely aware that it's summer like I'll have that thing too when it starts getting It's like, oh, it's getting a little hot.
I never had that as a kid.
You'd be excited when it's hot.
I don't know. As a kid, so often the family reunions were in hot -ass Pensacola, Florida.
Like, unbelievably hot.
And populated with 100 % old people.
So nobody was out. It wasn't even like kids were out playing.
playing. So I was acutely aware of how hot it was because I would get outside and just stand there.
It would be me and my cousins just standing, looking around, hoping for something to inspire us to play.
Like, these old people didn't have balls or anything to do.
So we would just walk to get a juice and drink the whole juice on the way back home because we were dying.
Ugh. Pensacola sucks!
I hate Pensacola, Florida Jane Jane, come to the window What?
There's a bunch of children just standing We want your balls Give us your toys That one sounded a little bit like John Lennon What is this?
You're right, you're right, Jane, you're right.
That was unmistakably a Liverpool accent.
I'm Jim Lennon. I'm visiting with these children.
Jane, what do we do, Jane?
Do we adopt them? I don't know, Carl.
Can't adopt a full -grown Brit.
Who says we can't? So, class, we've got a new sixth grader who's just moved to town.
So, John, why don't you tell the class a little bit about yourself?
I'm from Liverpool.
All right, John, so why don't you have a seat over there by Shelly.
Yeah, sit next to me.
Oh, you don't seem to be fitting in that desk.
I'm a full -grown man.
All right, well... Terry, you were in the middle of your...
Talk about what you did this summer.
Yes, this summer, I went on a cruise to the Bahamas, me, my mom, my dad, my younger brother Jason.
We got on the cruise, and there was 100 bedrooms. 100 bedrooms. And in the morning, you get up, and everybody has breakfast together.
And sometimes there's different entertainers in the middle of the day.
If you don't want to go to the entertainer, you can go swim or you can go lay on the deck.
And once we Port That's what they call it when the boat stops in the city Port Once you port, you and your family get together Make sure you have your passport Because if you don't They might not let you back on the boat No matter what We do all this Then we all Ooh, one time My brother stepped on a I have a I have a story I'm the biggest pop star in all the world Sean, just one second, please.
Terry is telling a very interesting story.
I made the biggest hits in all of America and also in Britain.
Oh, do you want me to tell you what happens when you get back on the boat?
Yeah. Okay, you get back on the boat and you go upstairs and you have dinner.
And the dinner can either be pork or it can be chicken or it can be just vegetables Because some people don't even like meat stuff.
They just want to eat vegetables.
Can you believe it?
Tell us about the toilets on the boat.
Oh, okay. This is rubbish.
Scene. I stole once over a summer.
I was ten years old, I believe.
and I was on a cruise actually in Cancun Mexico I was playing with some like keychain that had a basketball on it because I was a huge basketball guy back then I'm still a big basketball guy I love the sport um but but uh but so I'm spinning it around on my finger and we leave the store and maybe 20 minutes later I realize I've still got it and I'm freaking out because this was a summer that when I was younger, I did Taekwondo.
And one year, I went to state and like placed at state was supposed to go to regionals.
Or no, not regionals.
I went to state, then regionals.
I was supposed to go to the national tournament in Las Vegas, Nevada, but I passed to go on this cruise.
And I found out that had I gone to Las Vegas, I would have been one of four people in my age and weight division and I would have automatically been going to represent the United States of America in Korea and I and I passed on that to cruise around the Gulf of Mexico wait wait wait but are you bringing up the theft because you thought it was causal like the fact that you did this bad thing led to you not going to Korea no I thought that I can't believe that instead of being in Korea I'm here stealing I was freaking out because I saw two very different paths in my life and I had chose the wrong
one I had picked the wrong path Sam you don't want to go on the class trip no because I have a chance to go on this cruise and it just sounds like way more fun so have a good time the trip sounds fun for some other people I didn't want to mention this to the rest of the class, Sam.
Well, then why am I still here?
I'm leaving! No one ever told me anything!
You do not move! You are in punishment!
That is why you're still here!
Okay. Maybe, Cooper, instead of asking me why you're still here, you should ask yourself why you're still here.
Cooper, why am I still here?
I'm cool. Wrong answer, Cooper.
Wrong answer. so sam honey should i go on the trip i mean i i feel like i don't think i'll be missing out sam okay i didn't tell the rest of the class this uh -huh and i know the permission slip says we're just going to great america to do physics calculations yeah but when we get there there's a physics bowl that's going to happen.
That's it? No, Cooper, that's not it.
Okay, that was kind of lame.
Hey, why are you here, Cooper?
Because you're the best, man.
Give me five. I can't, because I'm me.
But, I mean, I could go to the beach and be on the ocean.
That sounds way better.
But, I mean, if you really mean...
Cooper likes your idea, huh?
Do you want to be like a Cooper?
Well, not really, because he picks his nose a lot, but...
That's because it's tasty.
See? I feel like there's something about, like, summer when you're a kid, where I have all these memories as a teenager where we'd walk around town late at night when we were probably like 13, 14 years old and we wouldn't have a plan but we had nowhere to be.
So we'd walk to one of our friend's houses then we'd walk to the white hen pantry and we'd order sandwiches and we'd just sit there in the corner and we were like, this is pretty cool.
Hey, listen I know we don't normally plan this out but I went ahead and made an itinerary Here's yours I've got enough for everybody so, I mean, like right now it says we meet up, pass out itineraries Yeah, I feel like that that was an unnecessary step because now I can check it off Oh, okay Kind of takes away the fun, right?
Doesn't that take away the fun?
Hey, Connor, I got this.
It said I should show up at 7 .52 and just reject you guys.
Yeah. Hey, Samantha.
Hi, Samantha. Hey, Samantha.
Don't do that again.
Well, I mean, it's working.
Yeah, it's working.
I mean, that was right on time.
Yeah. I think it didn't hurt as much because there was an inevitability to it.
Seen. I was always really bad at getting or finding summer jobs that weren't terrible.
You're bad at finding real life jobs that aren't terrible.
Thanks, Tammy. I'll have you know I'm going to be dressed as a pretzel all next week.
Is that real? Yeah.
Not a joke. Not a joke.
In what context? Honestly, I've said too much already.
You can tell us, but you guys just can't tell anybody.
Why will you be dressed like a pretzel next week?
Nobody tweet this. National branded snack mix, internet only, ad content.
Standing ovation Yeah I don't think anybody could fit that in a tweet I think my favorite part is that You thought by saying it That we could ruin it Yeah We can't make it worse Alright So anyway One summer there was this local sandwich shop in my hometown and the guy who owned the sandwich shop he also owned like these firework stands that would go up like near the highway and they needed someone to guard the firework stand at night and I heard about this job opportunity and so I I said are you looking for someone and he said yeah are you willing to do it and I just well what do I need you do
and I was going to make like $500 for the night I would show up like at 9 or 10 at night or something whenever they were closing and then I would just sit in the tent all night until morning wait $500 that's so much money for one night?
that's significantly more than you're making to be a pretzel that's not true actually I wouldn't be Colin you realize that was for sure guns Plans or drugs?
I don't know. All I know is I made big plans.
I had a black and white portable television that I brought with myself.
I'll just, like, watch TV all night and read.
And so I showed up, and there were a bunch of people already there.
And I said, hi, I'm supposed to guard the fire station.
They said, no, you're not.
And I said, what? And they were like, we're doing it.
And I was like, I was told I was hired to do this job.
and it was supposed to be $500 for the night.
And they're like, oh, there's a mix -up.
And I was like, oh.
And so they said, come back next week, and you can do next week.
So I thought, oh, okay, well, that's good.
And so the next week, I went to the fireworks stand on Saturday night to guard it, and the same bunch of guys were there, and they were like, no, it was a mix -up.
I think they just lied to me As a trick Just to see this teenager show up And just tell him to go away So what you're gonna do Is you're gonna guard this area Right here Okay Yeah This is This is the beach Sure Yeah yeah yeah Cool so just get here You're just gonna guard the beach If anyone walks down the beach You're just gonna Give them the business Okay yeah I can do that Get here at sundown Hang out all night Get here at sundown You stay here all night Cool And if anything goes down And you're giving me $12 ,000?
That's right Okay That's right Cool I will cut you a cashier's check in the morning Awesome Yeah, awesome 6 a .m. I will be here with a cashier's check Awesome For $12 ,000 Great Great That sounds awesome Cut to sunset Yeah, I'm here to watch the beach No, you're not Yes, I am Oh, no, man I'm watching the beach tonight baby cool ok well I was told this dude who makes milkshakes at the sandwich shop yeah Milky Joe yeah yeah Milky Joe yeah mix up with Milky Joe Milky Joe told me I'm watching the beach tonight gotcha Milky Joe brought me here this afternoon yeah that was later than what happened with me
on the other time that it did so it was all big it was so crazy it was the other side of the time that you did it Oh okay Cool Cut to the next day An office There's a window out to the ocean And there's a picture right here That says we own the beach Hey I want you to come look out this window So you see water there You know what I'm not seeing Any beach I specifically told you To get someone To guard the beach last night so that something like this wouldn't happen.
I hired two guys. I hired two guys to watch the beach. Did you tell them that they were to work together?
No, well, I hired them in opposition to one another.
Look, I don't know how they hire security guards where you come from, but where I come from, you pay somebody $12 ,000.
They watch the beach. Cut to a suburban home in the basement.
Mom, don't come down here What?
This is my house Don't tell me where I can and cannot go Fine Just What is all of this sand?
Cooper And scene Mike Rubiglia, John Glutz, Kate Mikuchi Shannon O 'Neill, Conor Ratcliffe, Gary Richardson and Tammy Sager Mike, Kate and Tammy are three of the stars of the film that Mike made and that I worked on called Don't Think Twice this is not a documentary it's a feature film, it's a comedy about a team of improv comedians and what happens when one of them starts to make it big you can find it on Amazon Prime Prime, and Apple TV.
Coming up, a dad tries something that he has never done before, one summer with his family.
That's in a minute from Chicago Public Radio when our program continues.
It's American Life from Ira Glass.
Each week on our program, of course, we choose a theme, bring you different stories on that theme.
Today's show, My Summer Self, stories of who we are during the summer.
We've arrived at Act 3 of our show, Act 3, It Takes a Villa.
So sometimes during the summer, People just decide they are going to try and do things they never do, go on some adventure, attempt something, and just see if it takes.
See if this is who they are.
See if they are the kind of summery person they have never been till now.
One of our producers, Neil Drumming, witnessed his dad make an attempt like that.
In the summer of 1982, my dad did something unexpected, something that seemed unbelievably indulgent.
He took me, my mom, my brother, and the youngest of my three sisters on the most epic road trip any of us could have possibly imagined at the time.
We piled into my dad's Buick Skylark and drove from Queens, New York to the World's Fair in Knoxville, Tennessee, where a robot danced for us, and then down into Orlando, Florida.
This was a big deal.
Before this, going away meant visiting relatives in South Carolina and sitting uncomfortably among among aunts and second cousins whose names I would forget before we'd even pulled out of their dusty driveways.
This trip was not country heat and sipping sugar water on some rickety porch while listening to the inscrutable conversation of grown folk.
It was what going 1 ,000 miles from home should feel like.
We cruised down a brightly lit street called International Drive.
We stayed at a Holiday Inn taller and more grand than any I'd ever seen.
Sunlight streamed in through a hole in the ceiling, A hole that was supposed to be there.
Our parents took us to a building that looked like a pile of poached eggs, but was actually Xanadu, House of the Future.
And everywhere, along every roadside, billboards promised that the most magical scene still awaited us.
This place. Disney World.
By all accounts, it was paradise for kids.
But between the gas and the hotels and the eating out, my dad quickly discovered how expensive taking even 60 % of his brood on a Disney vacation could be.
He was resigned to do it but he wasn't above working the angles.
He found out that you could get cheap tickets to the Magic Kingdom if he just signed up to sit through an hour or so spiel from someone pitching timeshares.
He was in. The hard sell went down at the Disney Disney Village, a branded mini -mall near the famous theme park.
My mom, dad, and a handful of other determined parents stowed their kids in a room full of toys that had been conveniently provided by the salespeople.
The parents set about the business of listening, or not, waiting patiently for the moment when the closers would stop shilling and start handing out the Disney discounts.
But while we kids were in another room throwing Legos at one another, something something surprising happened.
My dad bit. He went into a closed room to get three -day passes just so that I could eventually lose my glasses on Space Mountain.
And he came out with a deed.
The deed to something he and my mom were now calling Our Villa.
My father is a bold man, but in retrospect, this is the most impetuous action that I have ever seen him take.
It cost him about $5 ,000, which he paid in installments.
In 1982, for a guy with five kids who never made more than $33 ,000 a year at his day job, it was a considerable investment.
For those unfamiliar with timeshares, it may be hard to wrap your head around buying a vacation home that you never really own.
You pay up front for it.
There's an annual maintenance fee, but you only get to stay in it once a year or so, usually for a week at a time.
It almost sounds like some sort of scam.
And sometimes it is.
But it didn't turn out that way for us.
Instead, it became a fixture in my family.
My father had chosen as our week the first week in July.
And so every year, during one of the hottest months of the year, we would head down I -95 as always.
But now, when we pulled into South Carolina to see relatives, that was only a pit stop on the way to our true destination.
We had transformed from people who went away to a family who went on vacation.
Our villa was number 317, a two -bedroom apartment with an enclosed back porch that looked out onto a small man -made lake, complete with fish, ducks, and another summer word that I learned, gazebo.
My brother chased cicadas and lizards.
For my sister, the only swimmer among my siblings, there was a pool.
There were tennis courts and bikes to rent.
The general store even offered a collection of the latest movies on Laserdisc.
That first trip, I was eight.
As I got older, I moved from the gazebo to the game room, and then the gym, trying to meet other kids my age.
My mom busied herself in the kitchen making lunches, or sat by the lake and watched the ducks.
My dad shepherded us through It's a Small World and Epcot Center.
Our summers went on like this, pretty much exactly like this, probably until I finished high school.
I honestly loved it.
I looked forward to this trip every year.
And even though it was only a week, it was almost always the highlight of my entire summer.
But when I think about it now, it occurs to me, my dad pretty much orchestrated this thing that became so important to our lives.
And I have no idea whether or not he ever enjoyed it himself.
In fact, it didn't seem like he did.
I can't recall actually seeing him happy.
Neither does my brother.
He says dad was pretty much the same at the timeshare as he was at home.
Sometimes he'd go for walks alone, but often he just sat on the couch and watched TV.
I asked my sister. She said he must have been happy, but she doesn't remember witnessing it either.
It seems like such a simple question, but I just wanted to know, did he enjoy himself?
At the risk of embodying the most tired trope in all of modern masculinity, community, I will say my father and I never really got along.
He was strict, his house had a lot of rules, and he believed in corporal punishment.
And the sting of that conflict stayed with me as an adult.
But since my mom passed away last year, I've been trying to connect with him more.
I gave him a call. Hello?
Hello? Yes. Hey, it's Neil.
Yes. Is it a bad time?
My dad is 83 years old now and living alone in Florida.
Talking to him can be awkward, and not just because his hearing is going.
I asked him, point blank, if he liked going to the villa.
He told me that when he was growing up, he barely ever left South Carolina.
I didn't know nothing about nothing else, you know, like you saw things in magazines and stuff.
The first time I knew about a dentist, I was in the arms. but i just thought it was was a good idea that our kids see some something other than their surroundings and where they belong yeah my dad grew up poor on a farm one of 12 children he says he only finished high school because by the time he was old enough he was the one driving the bus sometimes when there were athletic events at other schools he'd get to drive the teams and and learn what the nearby towns were like.
In 1953, he was drafted into the Army, which had only recently been integrated.
They sent him to Colorado and Indiana, and it wasn't great.
He says the Army was really not into Black people back then.
So those were his travel experiences when he was young.
I was hearing a lot of this for the first time.
And as it turns out, that's at least partially my own fault.
The reason why we never talk about it, because it just wasn't the kind of thing that you guys seem to be interested in.
Really? So we just didn't seem like we were interested as kids?
Yeah, right. Yeah, I probably wasn't so interested back then, back when the two of us were constantly challenging each other.
I was always either afraid of him or angry at him, hiding from him or planting my feet to confront him.
It never crossed my mind to try to understand him.
But nowadays, my dad feels to me like some kind of living cold case.
a million -page brief that is no longer redacted.
Maybe it's because I'm now at the age he was when I was born.
But I retroactively find his every decision fascinating, even the ones that aren't so surprising on the surface.
Why Florida? It was advertising.
You know, you get to hear something about Florida, you know, like, and then this thing, Disney World.
After we started going, they built Epcot, they built Animal Kingdom, and they advertised them a lot.
Not many people were born.
We were probably the most vacationing people in our area, you know.
I don't know of any other family that went on vacation every year.
We did. My dad was obviously proud that he'd gotten the timeshare.
But pride, strictly speaking, does not constitute joy.
It didn't answer the question of whether or not he was actually happy spending those summer weeks with us at the villa.
Instead, he kept trying to make me understand why he brought us there in the first place.
And his explanation, his reasoning, reached back to memories and past experiences that not only had I never heard, but that kind of blew my mind.
And I tell you, probably where I got the whole idea, You know, when we were in school, every summer you had to try to think of something that you could write about when you go back to school.
Because you're going to have to write something about what you did this summer.
Well, we never had anything to write about when I was going to school.
And you didn't think crying a meal or picking peaches or stuff.
that you had to normally do.
You didn't think that was so exciting to write about.
You know, so we made up lies about what we did.
Well, every summer you guys went on vacation, you could write about something that you did or saw or someplace you went.
What did you do during the summer?
When did she end? No, no, when you were in school Work That's what I'm trying to tell you We talked for over an hour It was one of the longest conversations That I can remember us ever having Every now and then I'd try to steer him back to the question I wanted him to answer.
So I know I've asked you this a bunch of times, I keep asking you the same question, you can tell me to stop asking you if you want, but did you have fun yourself?
Yeah, see, I don't regret anything because it looked to me like I was doing what I was supposed to do.
And, you know, like, to see your kids happy was to be happy too.
And you guys could always, come in and do whatever it is and go back out to the pool or whatever.
I remember, you know, you guys playing out there and hanging around the bushes and stuff.
I thought it was great.
That's a kind of enjoyment I hadn't considered.
I live more selfishly.
Also, his answer was hard to take in to reconcile with the distance I felt between us at the time back when he would retire to the couch to watch TV.
or we went off to play on our own.
Maybe he was watching me play in the bushes and getting a kick out of it, but I didn't know that.
Still, I was happy at the villa, and my dad says he was too.
I'm glad I know that.
All right, so I've been talking to you for an hour.
I should probably let you go, but hey, is it okay if I call back this week and just talk?
I want to hear more stuff, since I didn't seem interested when I was a kid.
I didn't realize that was why you didn't tell us stuff, so now I'll just ask.
Is that okay if I could?
The only thing I do is get up and sometimes I'm outside just walking around.
Sometimes I sit down.
Sometimes I go ride the bike.
And I do this just to keep busy, you know?
You can call me anytime.
All right, I'm going to go back to work.
Okay. Bye there. Bye.
Neil Drumming, he was a producer on our show.
Neil has just released an album.
I'm a fan. It's called Writing on Airplanes.
It's a song about his dad.
You can find the album Writing on Airplanes on most streaming platforms. Our program was produced today by Neal Drumming.
Our production staff, Zoe Chase, Dana Chivas, Sean Cole, Karen Duffin, Emanuel Jochi, Stephanie Food, David Kestenbaum, Connor Jaffe -Walt, Mickey Meek, Jonathan Manjivar, Robin Simeon, Alyssa Ship, Matt Tierney, and Nancy Opdyke.
Our editors, Joel Lovell.
Editorial help from Julie Snyder and Alan Baker.
Other staff, Elise Bergersen, Emily Condon, Kimberly Henderson, and Seth Lind.
Research help from Christopher Sertala.
Music help from Damian Gray and Rob Geddes.
help on today's rerun from Angela Gervasi and Stone Nelson.
Special thanks today to Vicki and Doc Drumming, George Green and the Unchained Tour, and Brooklyn Loft Party, our website, thisamericanlife .org.
This American Life is delivered to public radio stations by PRX, the Public Radio Exchange.
Thanks, as always, to our program's co -founder, Ms. Tori Malatia, or as we like to call them, the Grape Smuggler, the Miami Meat Tent, the Ding -a -Ling Sling, the San Tropez Truffle Duffel.
I'm Eric Glass. Back next week with more stories of This American Life.
