Have you been working hard a very long time, with great performance reviews and still not getting the opportunities you have earned?
Welcome back to Speak Up.
The podcast for high-performing introverts, including you, social introverts who have learned that being brilliant does not automatically make you influential.
If you are already respected but starting to sense that your visibility does not quite match your capability, you are in the right place.
I am your host, Laura Camacho, your career accelerator and executive presence strategist.
And by the end of this fun conversation with Joanne Fadeko, you will know how to strategically build relationships without being transactional or pushy.
This is so good practical ways to increase your visibility inside and outside your organization and the powerful know like trust, KLT formula and how to play the long game of career growth.
So it's great to have Joanne Fadeko here.
She is a connection and social capital specialist type person.
So she's going to help us with that aspect.
So welcome to the show, Joanne.
It's great to have you here.
Thank you, Laura.
Very excited to be joining you today.
Yes.
What was it that made you see that we needed this?
You know, we go to college, maybe get a master's degree.
We learn our craft, whether it's software or finance or insurance or communication coaching, whatever.
And some of us are like naturally gregarious and out there chatting with everybody.
And some of us just prefer to do the work.
But we find that after a number of years that that comes back to bite us.
So how did you find out?
Well one.
We all know too many examples and stories and see people that get the job opportunity or get the role or get the invitation not necessarily necessarily, usually because of their performance right.
But often because of whom they know.
Right.
And it's frustrating, especially if you're not the one that's getting those invites and the opportunities.
And I'm very fortunate to live in Silicon Valley, where this is, I think, relationship capital of the world.
Okay.
And around the tech ecosystem, because entrepreneurs investors, ecosystem builders here executives, people that are in tech really want to help support an early stage entrepreneur or a scaling entrepreneur be successful.
And there is very much this pay it forward mentality in Silicon Valley.
Sometimes, if you're not from here or not in tech, you think well, maybe the opposite, like it's super competitive and it's not at all nice.
And while it's competitive for sure, it's incredibly giving and, And so I had an opportunity just over 10 years ago to do work that helped to connect Canadian entrepreneurs into Silicon Valley.
And that is when I saw really how this relationship capital works.
And people were sitting across the table from each other that had something in common.
That happened to be in the case that they were both Canadian, but they didn't know that.
And it just changes things, you know, when you have an association and affinity as something common.
With somebody you kind of can build that relationship maybe faster or differently with that.
And so, you know, I had this pleasure of running an organization that got to do this.
I'm a natural connector.
I always love bringing people together.
Usually people that maybe don't fit together.
I just like putting them into the room and then getting the heck out of the way.
So now I've built like a business and really a passion. around helping to connect people.
That is so so you're Canadian originally?
Yes, I am.
Well, we have a lot of Canadian listeners.
So excellent.
Sorry, you guys can't ask her any questions.
But I will definitely have her contact information in the show notes.
But shout out to all the Canadians listening.
So you're naturally a connector.
So What do you say to someone who has been say, a successful senior manager director in a large company in the United States?
Or maybe say Ireland or Colombia or Korea, you know any place?
If we're not seeking investors, what do we do to build a network and how do we do that?
And it doesn't matter where you're coming from or what role that you're in.
There's a famous quote that says you have to build your network before you need it.
Right.
OK.
And so regardless, if you're looking to build in your career, change jobs, move industries, move locations you need to have a network of people that you can activate, essentially so that they can open those doors for you.
Productivity and, you know, your. ability to do the work only sort of gets you into the room.
And I think the network actually designs what happens beyond that.
So there's a couple of things you can do, but you have to be strategic about it.
And sometimes people feel weird about that.
Well, relationships, I shouldn't have to think about it.
I shouldn't necessarily have to.
I don't want design something and right, it can seem fake or something yeah, yeah.
So we want to strategically build authentic relationships.
So there's two ways that you do that, or two lists, if you will.
There's the list of people that are already around you and in your ecosystem, in your sphere, and that could be people that you know work at other companies that you're interested in.
Maybe they're people that have titles within your organization, maybe they're advocates for you already.
And then create that list and think about now, how can I further nurture this relationship with them?
Myself be top of mind, let them know what I'm interested in.
Just foster again an authentic relationship with them.
And it doesn't have to be because you won't know what you're going to quote unquote use them for.
You just are like, you know what?
These are good people.
I know they'd be in my corner and I want to develop relationships with them.
And then you look at that list every month, every quarter, and you think have i been in touch with them?
What might i need to do in order to kind of be top of mind?
And again, it's you have to do this authentically.
You have to be interested in, in them.
Are they speaking on some stages that you've seen them at?
Did they do something really great in a meeting that you just want to give them some kudos for?
Is it someone that you know your kid goes to soccer practice with that, you see, and you just want to develop something further with them.
So that's a close network.
You have to develop that.
But then there's like the list of strategic relationships you don't have yet.
And this is, I think, where people don't think enough about creating that.
Who is it that, if they are thinking about the next five or 10 years or next year in their business, in their career, would be helpful to them?
Mm hmm.
They might not be somebody that they know or have real connection to, but I say reach out anyways.
So many people will say yes if you ask them for 15 minutes of their time, if you can buy them a coffee or something.
It's shocking.
So come up with that list and then find ways that you can as well connect with them and be strategic about that over time.
So you do have to make it a little bit of work.
I know that people listening are like, Joanne, how do I do that?
So let's say that I'm working from home.
I mean, when you say for a 15-minute coffee, are you meaning a virtual coffee?
Virtual, absolutely.
I mean, COVID has opened up for us this awesome opportunity that everybody is available online right to meet up.
And it's much faster and more efficient.
So even if you're working behind your own desk 24-7, you and not going into an office.
LinkedIn is amazing.
It is a place that most business professionals need to be.
See somebody post something that looks really cool.
I make a comment.
And then what?
Well, so why not send them a direct message or invitation?
Don't send them just invitation without any custom message to it, because they won't know who you are, what you're intention is.
It could just be you know what?
I wanted to reach out.
I saw that you you write about this topic and I'm really passionate about it and I think it's really great and I just wanted to connect with you.
You don't have to ask them for anything, but just reach out and and get them to be your connection.
And then you're doing it with the commenting.
Engage, but engage thoughtfully, and those people maybe become on your list of people that you want to be following and being a little bit more active with seeing if you might be able to foster a relationship with them.
There has been so many examples of people that I know that have formed a relationship, that have gotten a customer, that have gotten capital, that have gotten roles because they started a conversation on Twitter way back when.
Really?
Really?
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
Wow.
That is so interesting.
Yes.
What about going to networking events?
Do you recommend that?
Or is that like old school?
No, they're great.
I mean, and I think in person is back in vogue again.
Yes, yes, it is.
It depends.
There's introverts, there's extroverts, there's everything in between with it.
So I think it's very much on who are you when it comes to being in the room?
And how do you want to get value out of it?
Because for some people they're like no freaking way am I going to walk into that large room not know anybody, and right.
So you could have just set yourself a goal to say I'm going to walk in and as soon as I meet and talk to one person, I get to go home and get back into my pajamas.
Totally fine, right?
Yes yes, that sounds great yes, that's doable, and then you do that right with it.
Other people love getting into the rooms and talking to a bunch of people.
It again comes down to being authentic with it.
So if you're going for a purpose, what a lot of people do is they'll meet people, but then they don't follow up.
Right.
Okay.
What are you going to do to follow up?
Did you get their email?
Hopefully you connected on LinkedIn with them.
You're sending them a message and you're bringing it back to something that they said or you guys talked about and you're using that.
So let's say, for example, I'm in a room.
I meet somebody that I want to build a relationship with.
We both have a love of visiting national parks.
In the summertime, I go visit a national park.
That's a great memory for me.
To go reach back out to that person and say hey, I just visited this great national park in Arizona.
Have you checked it out yet?
I know that we talked about our love for visiting national parks.
What's on your plan this year?
Not about business, but just something.
And they're like, oh, wow, she remembered that we talked about that.
And she reached out for it.
So make notes of the conversations that you have.
Make notes of any commitments that you said oh, i'll send you that link.
Or that they committed to you.
Oh, you said that you were going to send me your top five breweries that you go to whenever you're in portland.
I'm on my way to portland next month.
You know which ones do you suggest?
You can do a lot of networking and in rooms, virtually.
There's a thousand webinars and different.
You know small rooms, bigger rooms that you can get into as well.
Sometimes with that, what's so great is you could just be like putting your LinkedIn.
Hey, this is Joanne from San Francisco.
You know, I'm Canadian.
Here's my LinkedIn.
Oh, I'm Canadian too.
I live in San Francisco.
I work with women too, you know, so you're finding connection points with that.
There's also, just like different LinkedIn groups, there's virtual groups, there's in person different groups.
You know you can go through your chamber of commerce.
There's lots that are happening kind of locally or kind of beyond.
So there's ways that you don't have to get out of your pajamas and into like full on dress up clothes to go into rooms.
And you can do that virtually.
If I work with a large company and I want to meet people inside my company internal networking, especially with people say, at my boss's level
Well, I'm sure there's cafeterias and there's different like organizational programs that happen.
My husband works for a big company so they've got annual concerts that they put on that families go to.
There's different of those kinds of events that they all go to.
They've got a great cafeteria there.
But reach out to those people.
I mean, I know that there's some, you know, sensitivity around going above your boss's boss or something with that.
But again, there's ways to be able to connect with them again in some more of an authentic way.
Just get to know them.
I'm not getting to know you because I want to climb up the corporate ladder and like, be in your position, kind of thing.
But just try to find some way that you can connect with them in a more authentic way manner than transactional manner.
Relationships take time and that's what people have a challenge with, right?
They want it right away.
There's a formula that somebody taught me years ago and it goes.
You got to know like trust and then refer is the process.
So people often get to know somebody super quick and then they jump to the refer part, right?
Would you recommend, etc.?
?
We gotta like each other a little bit.
We've gotta figure out a way how we trust each other.
So I know of a founder that's been working a customer relationship for three years.
And she could at any point ask for that business.
And she's just like, I'm not ready yet.
I have now.
I send him a bottle of bourbon when I'm in a new place and I find a bourbon that I know he likes, because that's what we talked about.
Right, right, right.
And it might not end up turning into a customer relationship. for her but she's like genuinely gotten to know this person and have enjoyed and they they share now different things and he does the same thing he sent her different things or articles based on the conversations that they have i think doing some research if there's people in particular that you want to know versus i'm going to go to this event and see who i meet especially those of you who work in these super large companies You want to meet Joanne over in product and you find out what she is working on or what she's accomplished so that you can kind of use that as the reason to meet.
Right.
How have you helped people translate these networking skills and building their social capital?
How does that translate into visibility or is that a different category?
I think visibility is absolutely needed in order to help with those relationships and that relationship capital.
So people have to think about how they can be visible.
They need to be their own advocates, the CEO of me, so that they think about that.
Again, take a little moment, take 30 minutes, have a cup of coffee, a glass of wine and just think about this to say okay, how can I be more visible in and amongst the groups of people that I'm looking to?
Where are they hanging out?
What are they doing?
What's interesting and important to them with it?
And then how can I be in front of them?
Is there podcasts I can be on?
Is there a committee that I can join internally and be part of something?
How is it that I can share my usefulness?
Not bragging, not name dropping, not being that pushy.
One of the biggest ways you can do that is to give without thinking about taking, right?
That pay it forward mentality.
There's an awesome book by Adam Grant called Give and Take, and I suggest people read that.
So try to find ways to be useful.
Be visible.
Be okay with being your own advocate.
Again, figure out what that visibility means.
It might be something small.
It might be something big and being on stage.
But it is absolutely critical because I think that visibility builds trust.
Yes.
So are there any, you know, communication tips related to the social capital?
Let's say we've met people and we have this, you know, our spreadsheet of our ecosystem.
Once you've met them and sent them the bourbon, like what do you do after that?
Well, it all depends again on the person.
So you could be trying to be more visible on some platforms like speaking, writing your own content.
Substack is really huge these days.
Okay, yes.
Putting out content.
You can do it and just start to write.
I know one VC that just decided to author some content around a topic that he was passionate about, not something that he was investing in.
And he turned out he really loved it and he's got this great following and he's published over a thousand articles.
Oh my goodness.
Over a number of years.
Overachiever.
So, you know, become the thought leader on something.
If you're really passionate, it doesn't have to connect always directly to what it is that you're working on.
Get somebody that's around you, that knows you well and that really is like has your back kind of person, and have them push you outside of your comfort zone.
Because so much of this requires us to think differently.
And if we're not doing these things, it's probably because we have a little bit of uncomfortability with it.
Absolutely.
We don't want to feel pushy.
I don't feel like I'm there yet.
I'm not quite that level.
Everybody else is but me, which is a lie.
So find somebody that you're close to.
Ideally probably not somebody that you live with and sees you all the time, but that's willing to push you and say look, I'm looking to do X right.
I want to get into this niche.
I want to be able to be more visible here.
I want to like level up my own leadership.
Would you help me do that?
Would you just talk with me?
And if maybe I tell you some of my ideas, you can push me, kind of like to that edge and a little bit beyond, because people see in us way more capabilities than we give ourselves credit for.
That is so true.
But But I would say your boss may not be in that category.
No, no.
Maybe if you're lucky.
Yes.
So don't take just because your boss is not opening doors for you.
I think bosses used to do that more for their people.
But this is the nature of work.
There's just so much to do and everybody's so scattered and working so much that you may not be getting that attention from your actual boss.
But yes, people that you work with that know you do know and respect and appreciate what you bring to the table.
So this has been so encouraging for all of us to get out of our daily routine and get out there and, you know, go meet some people.
I think that always brings you new ideas.
And no matter what you're doing, you might get some insight totally unexpected that actually will help you add more value where you're working.
Is there anything I haven't asked you that you would like to share with our audience of highly intelligent, extremely attractive high performers?
You know, the visibility matters and you have to be your own advocate.
So just don't be shy about it.
We only have one life. to live, right?
And it's not a dress rehearsal.
So take the deep breath, take the bold step, give it a try.
It won't hurt really to do it.
If you fail, that's okay.
Failure is celebrated here in Silicon Valley.
Everything will get you just sort of like that much closer.
But take some moments to just yourself.
Once a month, you know, once a quarter, just something where you really be thoughtful about this.
Because otherwise time just passes by and we kind of keep pushing it off.
And so I think we really do need to have a strategic roadmap.
And I want to put one other book in front of your listeners.
It's called Unstuckable.
Heather Kernaghan is the author of that.
And she's a global CEO of a PR firm.
It's about putting yourself out there.
And there's a whole chapter on just things that you could be doing to become more visible and Again, find different ways for you to have increased your brand.
Thank you so much, Joanne.
Thank you, Laura.
So if you're the kind of person who cringes at the word networking, if big rooms drain you, if self-promotion feels inauthentic, to put it politely, but you still want stronger influence, better opportunities and a seat at higher levels tables, this is for you.
Because the truth is executive presence is not about being loud or chatty even.
It's about being intentional.
That is why I have created the Executive Presence Scorecard.
It's an assessment over the four pillars of executive presence.
And you can pinpoint your strengths and your opportunities for improvement.
I want you to have a fantastic and glorious day.
And I will catch you on the next episode.
