Hey, it's your friend Mel and welcome to the Mel Robbins podcast.
You know, what I'm out and about and I have the absolute honor of loving into you and other
listeners of this podcast. After we go, oh my god. And then we hug and I love taking selfies with you.
There are two things that you always end up telling me. The first one is how much you love this
podcast and the difference that it's making, which is so great to hear. And the second thing
that you always share is you bring up the episode that made the biggest difference in your life.
And I love getting that feedback from you. And I started to notice that you all like the same
episodes and you keep bringing up the names of the same experts. And I want you to keep on telling
me, by the way, what episode you love, what experts that you love. And so I decided that I would
take a look at those episodes that you're referring to and check back in on some of those
experts and package up five of the best pieces of advice that you loved that I loved. And that's
what we're going to do today. And this is so exciting. What you're about to listen to today,
that I think I might do this every quarter because we cover so many amazing topics and we meet so
many experts that we're learning from. Even though I'm the one that's sitting in the interview chair,
I love being reminded of the best of the best. And so today you are going to get five pieces of
advice from experts on this podcast that you have loved and commented on and shared. And you're
going to be reminded of things that you loved. And if you're brand new, welcome to the Mel Robbins
podcast family. I want you to know something. You're not behind it all. In fact, you have tuned into
the perfect episode. But if you've been listening for a long time, you're going to love this because
it's going to remind you of how much power you have to make simple changes that are back by the
research that impact your life almost immediately. So I want to tell you a little bit about how I
selected the five pieces of advice that you're going to hear today. And I also want to thank you
because you helped me. See, this is what we did. My team and I, we looked at all the data on YouTube.
We looked at what you watched. We looked at your favorite and most replayed moments. We then dove
into the podcast data. And we were looking for what advice did you like? What episodes inspired you
to make changes? What episodes inspired you to report back to me, the specific actions that you
were taking to leave reviews? What were the experts that you shared most with your friends and your
family? And so today, without further ado, but I feel like I need a drum roll. Our conversation today
is going to inspire you with some of the best advice that I've heard in the last 12 months and
that you've heard too. We're going to cover some of the top five pillars of creating a fulfilling
life. You're going to start off with a 10-day health reset from a renowned functional medical doctor.
Next, you will get the trick that a Harvard psychologist uses to stop anxiety. You're then going
to hear life-changing advice on money from the single best financial expert you could ever meet,
who also, by the way, said some of the most profound things that I've ever heard on this podcast.
You loved her so much and so did I. And then you're going to move on to a hilarious and tactical
strategy for displaying more confidence from a CIA FBI trained body language expert. You're also
going to learn how to tell when someone's lying to you. And finally, you and I are going to end
on an even higher note with one of your favorite guests of all time, an 86-year-old powerhouse who
is sharing her specific strategies to longevity and how to live a more meaningful life. Let's do this.
Hey, it's Mel and I am so happy that you decided to listen to this particular episode today.
You're going to love it because today I'm sharing five pieces of science-supported research
back advice from some of the most popular experts that have appeared on the Mel Robbins podcast
in the last 12 months. Now, this is advice that has changed my life and it's also changed the
lives of listeners around the world. Listeners who are just like you. And if you take a chance
and you give the advice to try, I guarantee you you are going to feel the impact and it's going to
help you create a better life. First up, we're going to cover a 10-day health reset that will change
your life from the inside out. Dr. Mark Hyman is a renowned functional medical doctor and he set
this sentence on the podcast, holy cow. When he said this, it made you and me both lean in.
He said, you are only days away from optimal health. I'm going to say that again. You are only days
away from optimal health. And in the clip that you're about to hear, Dr. Mark Hyman will explain
the research that supports this fact that you're only days away from optimal health. I mean,
how cool is that? Then he's going to walk you through his 10-day health reset. Now, this is the
protocol that he has researched over the years and that he uses with his patients in his private
practice. Let me tell you a little bit about Dr. Hyman before we jump into the advice that he shared.
He is a medical doctor who is the head of strategy and innovation at the Cleveland Clinic Center
for Functional Medicine. He is the founder and medical director of the Ultrawelness Center.
And he has written 14 New York Times best-selling books. And his 10-day health reset is one of the
most viewed clips on my YouTube channel. It's also one of the most popular pieces of advice that
anyone has ever shared on the Mel Robbins podcast. So let me set up what you're about to hear.
Dr. Hyman has just shared this medical fact that your body is designed to heal itself. And you're
going to hear me reacting to that and then asking him to explain what that means. And this is
important because when you realize that your body is designed to heal itself, you'll understand
exactly how his 10-day health reset that he's going to explain to you activates your body's
natural healing capabilities so that you can tap into optimal health. So let's go to that clip
where you're going to hear me asking Dr. Hyman to tell you about our body's intelligent design
and the ability it has to heal itself. Dr. Hyman, you just said something that really struck me,
which is that every single one of us, our bodies, has an intelligent healing system.
Yeah. Built into it. And I immediately thought about the fact that, you know, we all know instinctively
that if you cut your hand, your body knows how to heal itself. Exactly. And so it's not...
Don't go to the doctor to get that prescription to heal your hand. It just does those what to do.
Yeah. And so can you just expand upon that for somebody who is never considered that concept,
that your body is designed when you know how to take care of it, to heal itself?
What the hell does that even mean? It's really incredible. I mean, I literally get to be the
witness to miracles every day. And people who are either wanting to just optimize their health and
live a long healthy life or people who have end-stage diseases like tetrodibides, heart disease,
autoimmune disease, dementia, whatever it is, ADD, depression. When you know how the body works,
you can learn how to optimize its function, which is what we call it, functional medicine.
And then you get rid of the stuff that's impairing our ability to function properly. And you
put in the stuff that the body needs to thrive. So you take out the impediments to health, you
put in the ingredients to health. The body knows what to do. Most people don't connect the dots
between what they're doing in their life, whether it's what they're eating or the toxins they're
exposed to or the stress they're under, the lack of sleep they're getting or the fact that they,
you know, may not move their bodies or learn how to do all these things. They don't know how that's
impacting them. They don't know how close they are to feeling good. We're literally only a few days,
not weeks or months, from feeling better. We're only a few days away from feeling better.
Yes, it's really remarkable. I take people all the world, they put it in these groups, we do these
programs around the world. And we change our diet, we move them a little bit, a little bit,
a little bit, yoga, not like running a marathon, but just general exercise, some simple body practices
and within six days, the average person reduces their symptoms from all diseases by 70%.
Wait, what? Yeah. Your life is not predetermined by some genetic destiny. It's the life and the
exposure zone, which is all the sum total of all the experience you've had, all the toxins, all the
thoughts, all the relationships, all the food you eat, everything, washing over your biology,
creating the expression of who you are in this moment. And so that's a very empowering idea,
because it doesn't just, something just didn't happen to you. You can actually be empowered to
understand what those things are and change them and radically reverse your biological age, your
your health problems, your mental health, because the body has this incredible healing system,
as we said. Wow. I think if people understand how powerful food is, they don't, they don't
only have to listen to me, change your diet and see what happens. Not for a year or 10 years,
but 10 days, anybody can do anything for 10 days. And when you do that, you literally take away
all the potential inflammatory foods, all the foods that are causing you to have issues,
which is typically gluten, dairy, sugar, processed foods. So what is the 10 day? Like, we'll get,
just give us simple rules that you want everybody listening to try. This is a dare. Let's just,
let's go through a sample menu for today. Okay. But it's basically protein and vegetables,
nuts and seeds and berries. And so you hold on, you said that very fat, protein, vegetables,
nuts and seeds and berries and lots of good fats, olive oil, olive and others. So it's basically
breakfast could be, for example, a couple of eggs with sliced tomatoes and avocado with olive
oil on top. Lunch could be a big salad with lots of different veggies and tomatoes. I could
throw a can of wild salmon on there, put in some pumpkin seeds and just lots of good plant.
Very colorful. Very colorful. And dinner might be, you know, some big piece of fish or chicken or
or some nice small piece of meat with three quarters of your plate should be vegetables. So three
quarters of your plate. I'll have a lot good. And I had like a purple sweet potato. I had some
roasted mushrooms. I had, you know, I can tell you to have like a roasted eggplant. Whatever,
whatever you kind of get excited about, broccoli, I make cruciferous vegetables every day. These
are the broccoli. What did you say? Cruciferous. What the hell work? Cruciferous?
It's broccoli. Basically, the broccoli family. What does cruciferous mean? It means broccoli.
Basically broccoli, collard, collards, cabbage, brussels, sprouts, you know, all those
things. The five week wrap your grandmother served. Does that understand? It's this family of
vegetables. It's a super family. Got it. Because it actually detoxes your cells. It helps
your red cancer. Wow. It boosts all the detox hormones. I mean, molecules in your body.
So I want to stop you real quick because you posted something two days ago. I did.
What? That said, that was, I'd never really thought about it this way. And it was, you'll
probably say it better than me, but it was, it was a very simple post that was like the food
that you eat impacts every, your cells, your brain cells, like all of this stuff, your skin
that all is continuing to grow. It doesn't just grow out of thin air. It, it, it actually is impacted
and grows from the raw materials that you get it. And so would you rather have cells that are made
from a bag of Doritos? Exactly. Or cells made from a salad or a piece of fish. And when you boil
it down that way, like holy cow, what I put in my mouth is what I become. Yeah, absolutely.
And you literally become what you eat. I mean, I, I just had someone on my podcast, the doctor's
farm, is he talking about the difference between, for example, pastures, bison and a, a, a,
a, that bison, they were fed corn and, and feedlot bison, which are still better than what?
Lab bison feed, feedlot bison, meaning grown on a factory farm. Okay, got it. And they measured
15 different 100 metabolites. And what they found was so different among the same genetically
identical bison. One had all these incredible molecules that come from plants because it was
eating all these grasses. It had different fatty acids. It had different bison and different minerals
in it. And, and, and it was just so profound. So you are what you eat, but you're also
or whichever you're eating it, right? And the whole thing goes up the chain. And we, we really
have to get how powerful food is. And do an experiment. Don't listen to me. Don't listen to
me. Listen to me. Listen to your own body. Your body is the smartest doctor in the room.
It'll tell you what works and what doesn't. And when you stop this for that, you go, well,
God, wait a minute. My joystone hurt. Or wait a minute. My, my, I'm not having terrible
reflex or heartburn anymore. I don't have migraines. What happened? Or my mood is better. What's going
on? It's what you're eating. Wow. What are the top things that people should in this kind of
10 day window stop eating? I mean, anything that comes in a package, basically, I mean, this can,
you know, sardines or salmon, that's fine. But basically anything comes in a package can
or a box give it a bit. If it's sugar, no, if sugar, sweetened beverages, no alcohol, no.
The grains and beans for a short time because a lot of people have inflammation from that. They
have a gut issue. The grains and beans are healthy and they're good for you. But for some people,
they can be a problem. Right? So it's like peanuts are good for people. But it's, let me
well, what's the universe one? It's no gluten. No gluten, no sugar, no dairy, no alcohol,
no processed food. Do you have any fun? Absolutely. So much fun. I have so much fun every day.
My whole life is fun. And I don't feel restricted. I don't starve myself. And the thing is these
foods are addictive. So people think, I got to have, I got to have, well, sugar, well, can I have
artificial, I know what people are listening thinking about. They're thinking, oh, Dr.
Hyman, can I have artificial sweeteners or can I have, you know, TVL or can I have, like everybody's
going through their head. And if you were having this inner dialogue right now, I guarantee you,
you have biological addiction sugar because you're trying to find a way out, you know,
I'm going to stop smoking, but I'm going to vape or I'm going to chew nigger egg gum. Well,
that's not getting rid of your addiction. Yes. And I think it's not your fault. And this is probably
one of the biggest problems I have with the narrative in America that we are blaming the person
who's overweight for their problem. It's your fault that you're eating too much and not exercising
enough because that's the solution to weight loss. It's all about calories and calories out.
It's all about moderation. And if you can't do it, there's something wrong with you. Yeah. That's
just a big fat lie. And that keeps people feeling ashamed about themselves. It keeps them from being
empowered to know what to do. It keeps the food industry free of responsibility. And it's one of
the most unfortunate narratives that we have. I love that he said it's not your fault. And you know
what else I loved was this moment when he, one of the most respected functional medical doctors
on the entire planet made you the expert of your own health. And I hope you will take him at his
word that you take this experiment on because Dr. Hyman just demystified how you can tap into the
intelligent design and your body's natural healing process to tap into optimal health. And here's
what else I loved. This costs you zero dollars. I love the fact that the cells of your body do not
grow out of thin air, but they grow from the raw materials that you feed it. I mean, it blew my
mind. You're going to have to eat. Would you rather have your cells that are made from a bag of
Doritos or a salad and really good protein? I hope that information sticks with you forever the
way that it has for me. And if you want to learn more about how to reset your health in 10 days,
I really want you to take the time to listen to that entire episode with Dr. Mark Hyman.
Now that episode is linked in the description along with all of the episodes that I'm going to
share with you today. And as always, if you look at the description on whatever platform you're watching
this episode on or listening to the podcast, you're going to see a link that takes you to the
resources page that has links to all the experts, the studies, all of that is on our website for you.
But the episode itself, it's just linked below in the description. I wanted to make it easier for you.
All right. Now that you know where you can find the episodes and you also know about your bodies
ability to heal itself and you also know how to do a 10-day health reset, that's just expert number one.
We still got four more to go. And next up, you're going to learn the trick that a Harvard
psychologist uses to stop anxiety. And I want to take a quick break right now and give our fantastic
sponsors the time they deserve because their support allows me to bring you all of this at zero
cost. And when we come back, you and me, we're going to be diving into anxiety. And a little later,
we're getting into money, confidence and longevity secrets and more. So don't you dare go anywhere,
I'll be waiting for you after a short break.
Welcome back. I'm Mel Robbins. And today you are hearing five of the most popular pieces of
advice on the Mel Robbins podcast from the last 12 months. Now, Dr. Mark Hyman just showed you how
to activate your body's natural intelligence by doing a 10-day health reset. And now we're going
to activate your ability to stop anxiety with expert advice from Harvard's Dr. Luana Marquez.
Now, Dr. Luana appeared on two incredible episodes of the Mel Robbins podcast. And you absolutely
loved her so do I. And I love everything that she shares with you and with me. Dr. Luana has this
remarkable and inspiring story of how she went from being poverty-stricken in Brazil to becoming a
professor of psychiatry at Harvard. Now, she has a clinical practice and is also on the staff at
Mass General Brigham, which is the number one ranked research hospital in the world for over a
decade. And what you and I both loved about Dr. Luana is that, well, yeah, she's the world leading
Harvard trained expert. No big deal. Her advice is also simple, which means it can be applied
easily into your own life, even when you or a loved one is spiraling. So let me set up what you're
about to hear because when she came to the studio to have this conversation, I was so excited to
talk to her about how to stop an anxiety spiral. And what you're about to hear is a clip where Dr.
Luana is not only going to give you the trick to stop anxiety, but she's going to use herself as
an example because here's what happened. You're going to hear the story of her telling you that
right before she walked into the studio and did the taping with me, she had an anxiety attack.
And so she's going to tell you all about that and how she handled it. So let's jump into one of
your favorite clips from that episode where I've just asked Dr. Luana, so how do you stop a panic attack?
Such a great question, male, because the first thing if we're going to apply any skills, we need to
create a pause. And in that pause, we need to do a couple of things first. We need to understand
what was the situation that triggered any kind of thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. I actually
call this the thoughts, emotions, and behavior cycle. Can we take the example of you waking up
and not wanting to get out of bed? Yes, absolutely. So any kind of situation, I woke up, my brain
started to spin and basically said, what if Mel Robbins doesn't like me? It was the first thought I
had this morning, I have to just be honest with everybody last day. No, I mean, the inches brain
never quits down, right? And so that thought, what if she doesn't like me led to an emotion, which for
me was a little anxiety in heart pounding. My heart ponds pretty pretty strongly. And then my
behavior was the third component was wanting to just stay in bed. I was like, maybe I just
want to stay in bed. And you asked, what is the sequence? Well, if the pets of the entry, right,
for me was a thought, right? She's not going to like me. It ain't just, and then I wanted to
behavior a certain way. But they ping pong, right? If I lay in bed a little longer, I'd better
have gone this way. Yeah, maybe I didn't bring the right outfit. The outfit makes a difference.
She's so powerful. She's really not going to like me. What if I say the wrong thing? And those
thoughts would go really fast. Think, Zyde, shoot up. And then the cover would come over.
And then by the time I got out of bed, my baseline anxiety would be so high that I'd be having
trouble thinking that trouble thinking and being tripped as, oh, see, you do have a problem with
my anxiety. And now the avalanche. And so it's a ping pong. And it's so fast. And that's why that
pause is so important. So what do you tell your patients to do when they catch themselves in this
ping pong death match with their anxious thoughts? Whenever the anxiety happens, this is a trick that I
can share with everybody that you can use and you can do it right now. How do you pause? Is the
question right? Take a piece of paper and literally right down your thoughts, link them through your
motions, link them just specific behavior. What do you want to do? Okay, so did you get that,
everyone? When the thoughts start to spiral in you or someone that you love, and you feel that
anxiety avalanche that Dr. Luana just described coming on, number one, you need to create a pause.
And here's one way you can do it. Take out a piece of paper and write the thought, write the emotion
that you feel and write the behavior that it's triggering. And in Dr. Luana's example, the thought
is Mel's not going to like me. And then that made her feel nervous. And then that feeling makes her
want to pull the covers over her head. Why does this technique work, Dr. Luana? This is why.
What we know scientifically is that writing activated prefrontal cortex. The prefrontal cortex
that helps us organize execute, right? It's the center of the brain that's the critical part of
the brain. It is always competing for energy with our mid-blah, the fight fight of freeze part of
the brain. So one one one is on the other one tends to quiet down. So if you're in your anxious
brain, get out of there by writing your thoughts, emotions and behavior cycle. Just that little trick
alone, I've seen hundreds of patients stop their anxiety cycle and that avalanche by creating that
pause, right? It's so liberating to overcome a fear. True. Your whole system hides down and you're
like, Oh my God, I'm living my best life. And that's what I wish for everyone that they find
their little corners of avoidance, overcome it so they can show up like, are you being your best
self and if you're not, it's because you're avoiding. I love what she said about you and me
and how we have these little corners, right? Where we hide. It's so true, isn't it? How anxiety
or nervousness or fear or panic or imposter syndrome can keep you in that little corner? How often
you can find yourself avoiding? Not only experiences in life, but avoiding your potential and the
potential of your life. I know exactly what she's talking about and I know you do too because that
was one of the most popular things that she said because anxiety is something that I've struggled
with for a very long time and it does make you shrink. So don't forget the trick. Create the pause.
Write it down. Get it out of your head because when it's on paper, you're not going to spiral.
When you create the pause, you step out of your little corner and when you stop avoiding the things
that scare you, you unleash that potential and with the rise and anxiety that is so well documented
today, especially in teenagers and young adults. This is an episode and the resources that Dr.
Luana shares. This is something I hope you share with people in your life because they work
and Dr. Luana's two episodes on the podcast are wonderful resources for you. So if you go into
the description, you're going to find links to those two episodes featuring Dr. Luana. Please, please,
please take the time to listen to them and more importantly, share them with somebody who needs
this information. Share them with somebody who needs this support. Okay? Because we're talking world
class, Harvard, Dr. Luana, private session level support with those episodes. Alrighty. Let's move on
to a topic that gives you anxiety, which is money. And I got to be honest, I had been avoiding talking
about money on the podcast for a long time. And let me tell you why. I thought it'd be a total
snooze fest. I mean, come on, financial planning, boring. And I personally, I don't know if you feel
this way, but I feel this way. There's a lot of financial experts out there that are so fricking
condescending and they speak in jargon and it's sort of like you should know this. So I'm like,
we don't need to talk about money. Well, then I found Tiffany Alice. Chatching, baby, holy
smoke. She not only brought the money, she brought the energy and the fun. She is so fanastic.
Oh, we could not stop talking about her. And she got you and me excited about making a budget.
Who gets excited about making a budget? You and I did after hearing from Tiffany Alice,
Tiffany Alice is the money expert. You loved her. She is also known as the Bajanista. She's a New
York Times bestselling author. She has helped more than two million people just like you save,
manage and pay off massive debt. If there's anybody in your life who you think needs to get better
with money, you better stop talking about them and share this episode with them. Let Tiffany
set the record straight because this is not your usual man can lend you anything talent advice.
Tiffany's take on money will help you see your money in a completely different way so that you
understand how to make more of it and save it with ease. Now, she's also been there. She's been there
in terms of being underwater with loads of bills to pay and no job. She was the victim of a scam like
unbelievable story. And that's also why she comes to the table with so much compassion for you
because she knows just how overwhelming finances can be. And she also has this knack. Oh, I love
people like this. This knack for explaining boring things like budgets, snooze fest and bills.
I don't want to talk about that. But she has a way of talking about it that makes you just want to
hear her keep talking. And she makes you feel like you're an expert too. And so when she came on
the Mel Robbins podcast, one of the very first questions I asked her was about budgeting because
I hate budgeting. And I freaking love the analogy she gave. And by the way, this was one of your
all-time favorite clips to you just kept coming back to this over and over and over again, especially
on YouTube. So listen to what Tiffany Leechay has to say about the topic of budgeting.
So I want you to think about a budget the way what I say is like how you think about like your mom,
right? So you've got three kids, right? Yeah. And so if like say your son's like, oh, when he's
little, you know, mom, can I have dessert? You'd say yes after you have dinner. Or if your
daughter says, mom, can I go outside to play? Yes, when you do your homework, you know, or, you know,
mom, can we go on vacation? Yes, if we lower this, this, you know, the light bill. So your budget is
like your mom. She's there to say yes when, if after. So it's really a say yes plan, but one that
safely implemented so you can maintain the thing that you want, right? So you can call a money list.
That's what I usually start with because people hate that name. I like that name, money list. What does
a money list mean? Okay, I love this reframe because I hear the word budget and I hear no in
restriction. And you're saying, no, that the budget is how you say yes to what's important to you.
That it's not there actually to tell me no, it's there to find the yes in the safest way possible.
So for somebody hearing you say that and they're like, but I've never made a budget or
I've never stopped the one. I don't know what my budget should be like, where do you begin?
So one understanding mail that your budget is a picture of your money flowing in and flowing out.
Okay. And so the picture that I like to take is a month. Okay. Let's take a month.
You're on the month. Money in, money out. But is the list a list of everything in one month that
is going out the door? Yes. And everything in the month that is coming in the door. But there's
a way that I like people to do it because you start to like mentally restrict yourself. If you just
write everything down, yes, step one is to write everything down just the words of what do I spend
money on? Don't think about the month just in general. So it's like, oh, the kids, oh, credit card,
oh, grooming going out like just I want you to just write the words. Don't think about the money
just words. Okay. So that's first part. Step one. Yes. Then step two is now you say these words on
my money list, how much am I spending approximately monthly? Some stuff you'll know like your mortgage
or your rent, some stuff you might not be sure. Go pull out your bank statement and see on average
the last few months. How much you're spending on groceries or eating out or groom or electricity.
Or water. Yes. Or any of those things that you don't even really think, oh my god, I got that
bill. Exactly. So then that's within a month frame on average, right? So that's step two. Okay.
Then step three is to write down how much you make on average every month from all of your areas.
So maybe you get Alamone, maybe you get child support, maybe you have a job, whatever that is,
how much are you making monthly? Then you add up step four, you add up how much you're spending
monthly and subtract it from how much you're making monthly. I call that the tears and tissue step
because usually people get there and they're like, can I have a tissue? And should you do this
with a friend? Yes. So literally, so when I used to do one on ones, we would do all of that and people
would be like, okay, and then I would literally just grab a box of tissues and just put it here because
I'm like, it's about the water one money. They added up. I remember it was a nurse all
never forget. I'll call her B and I came to her house and it was beautiful condo. And so we did
that step and she started crying and then I started crying because baby, I'm a baby. And she was
just like, I didn't realize how much over I was spending. And she said, it's a matter of fact,
I can't even afford the air conditioning. That's all I'm going to turn it off. And I was like,
yes, yes. So we sat with the fan on because she just turned on the air conditioning because I was
coming over. So I was like, turn off the AC. A fan is fine. That tears and tissue step allows you
to see what do you need to do now? And so let's say you've done that, right? And you've made the
money list and you see what's coming in and what's coming out here like face to the reality. Yeah.
Tears and tissues. Yes. And you see that you are outspending every month. What's actually coming
it? What is the next step? The next step is I want you to categorize your expenses before you
get to slash and dash, you know, because that's what people want to do. I won't need that. I won't
yeah, I'm never going to eat again. Never going to turn the lights on in this house. Get the candles.
So I'm like categorize your expenses into three categories. One, I want you to write a B next to
all the bills on your list. So bills are if you don't pay it, someone's going to come knocking on
your door and say, okay, right? Yeah. So put a B next to all those things and give me an example.
I know that sounds like a basic question, but is your mortgage a bill? Yes. Mortgage is a bill.
Rent, car notes, student loans. So if you don't pay, you're likely to be sued. Think about that.
Gotcha. Like when you were like standing at Walmart or before and you're like, yeah,
like 10% off this and then you're like, oh, wait, that's a credit card. Yes, that's a bill.
Mm-hmm. Got. Okay. B next to all your bills. Okay. And then and those are really like fixed expenses.
So that way you understand, right? And then I want you to put a U in front of any B that fluctuates
based upon your usage. Oh, I love that. So I call these like the U stands for usage or utility.
So your student loan does not have a U. Your mortgage or rent does not have a U. But the water,
water, electricity. Oh, you're usage. Yes. The data on your phone. Yes. And so it's important
to separate those two because I want you to you'll see that I want you to understand the level
of control you have on these expenses. And whatever is not a B or UB, everything else is a C. C
stands for cash or choice, meaning that you have full choice of how you spend here. So grooming
might be leftover groceries might be left over. How much eating out with friends? Yes. And so
entertainment. And so now before you get to slashing, I want you to ask yourself, where's most
of your money going? For many people, mostly their money might be going to the B's and UB's.
Uh huh. But for some people is actually all the C's. Yes. So then I then we have to identify
you have a don't make enough issue or spend too much issue. And so if most of your money is going
to the B's and UB's, you might not make enough. So it's not about slashing because it's your bills.
You know, but if most of your money is going to your C's, your choices and your cash expenses,
then you probably have a spend too much issue. So now we need to slash. Yes. You know, because
entertainment and grocery and and all those things for your money is going because what I find is
that frugal people want to get more frugal when things are tied. I'm like, that's not the answer.
Right. You know, that instead, I want you to put your energy to learning how to earn more if all
of your money is going to your bills because we're we're cutting the mortgage. What are we cutting?
That's true. You know, one of the things that I worry about and I'd be curious to hear your
perspective, I worry a lot about the fact that in today's world, particularly for people who are
in their 20s and 30s, that social media has become like shopping with a click. And you and I
to leave our house to go spend money back in the day. And when I think about TikTok or Instagram,
every other fricking suggested thing has a shop now button. And stuff gets sent to your house.
And have you seen a big increase because you've been doing this for a while in people in the
spending category that spending has gotten so easy because of social media. It's always in your
face. You always see what you're missing out on. There's an influencer that has the product for
free who's like, this changed my life in a quick, quick, quick, it's 11 30 at night. So do you see
a spike in this or is it absolutely over consumption is the new way? We all have so much that we don't
need. I mean, even I sometimes I'm like, Tiffany, you do not need like another, like you don't
even vacuum. But that one is so cool. You know, and I'm like, like this is influenced from who I
follow, who I love her because so aesthetically, please. Yes. But you know, the ones that were like
everything the kitchen is aesthetically easy. Yes. These Amazon shops. Like I can click through to my
Amazon thing. So I got this all for free. But I'm gonna make money on you buying it. A container
for the container. Yes. Like, well, who wants zero out of a cereal box? We want to eat
out of a aesthetically pleasing glass container. Yes. And aesthetically pleasing. You don't. Yes.
You know, so it is really hard. Hi. Guilty. I do want to eat cereal out of an aesthetically
pleasing glass container. Thank you, Tiffany, for calling me out. And don't you just love how she can
make you laugh at yourself and also learn about the right thing to do with money at the exact
same time. It's sort of like she's saying you're smarter than that. And you're like, yeah, you're
right. I am. I am. She is the real deal when it comes to getting your finances together and empowering
yourself in this important area of your life. And her episode is absolutely the one you need to
listen to next. If you haven't heard the whole thing because budgeting is just the beginning.
She was equally fantastic on all the other topics that she taught us about in that episode.
She shares the five rules of money to help you build credit payoff debt increase your income
and have more money in the bank. But even more than that, her episode is so deeply insightful
and meaningful. It's going to surprise you. It will move you. And it will help you live a richer
life. And make sure you listen all the way until the end because there is a very surprising twist.
Because Tiffany reflects on something personal and becomes very emotional. And she talks about the
profound connection between your life, the role that money plays into it and what actually matters.
And I didn't play that part for you because it is so moving. And it comes at the end of this
amazing and empowering episode that I really hope you will take the time to listen to and that
you will share with the people that you love. Because the end just hits you in the heart with this
level of urgency about what's important in life. And it would be lost if I just played that
part for you at a context right now. But like every other episode I mentioned today,
the link to her full episode is waiting for you like a gift. It's right in the description. You
can click right on the link and on the title. And there is a gift that you can give to yourself.
And you know who else is waiting for you? Our sponsors. So let's take a quick listen to the
amazing brands that bring you the Mel Robbins podcast. And then there'll be someone else waiting for
you. Me? I'm going to be here waiting for you after a short break because we are jumping in to
something really fun next. You do not want to miss this body language secrets. You're going to
learn how to look and feel more confident in seconds. Welcome back. I'm Mel Robbins and I am so
thrilled that you are here with me today. I'm sharing some of the best expert advice that we've had
in the last 12 months on this podcast. My favorites, your favorites. Thank you for sharing this
episode with your friends. Now you just learned how to make a money list from Tiffany Elise. You've
also learned how to stop anxiety with Harvard's Dr. Luana Marquez. You've also learned how to reset
your health in 10 days with world renowned Dr. Mark Hyman. Next up, our fourth expert is Janine
Driver. She's a body language expert who gave so many tips on how to spot when someone is lying to you.
I lost count. Janine Driver was trained by the FBI and the CIA. She's been in every single
newsroom from 60 minutes to CNN because they have this woman on speed dial to analyze the body
language of the world's most notorious criminals, politicians, and celebrities. I'm sure you've seen
her on TV because she's an expert who can tell you based on body language whether or not you can
trust someone and who's lying. I love her incredibly inspiring, entertaining, and surprising take
on how you can build confidence and be smarter about the subconscious signals that other people
are sending you all day long. And boy, did you love what she shared about how to decode body language?
In fact, her episode of the Mel Robbins podcast is one of our most popular episodes that we've
published on YouTube. And there were so many moments in particular that you could not stop watching
and sharing. And so I want to highlight one specific tip first that she told you, which is a
hack to make you look more confident. Here's Janine Driver explaining this body language trick
that I want you to steal. One is I'm doing it now. If you're seeing me, it's called steepling.
It's fingertips to fingertips making like a church steeple. When we steeple people, we intimidate
people. The higher the steeple, the more intimidation. So it's a sign of confidence. So a nice low
steeple, especially if you're a woman in a meeting and men are like over talking you instead of saying,
let me finish with a palm down gesture like you're the police on a raid, you're telling people
to get on the ground. If you just lean back and steeple, someone else at the table will quiet down
the people who are interrupting you. So that when we steeple people, we intimidate people to
sign of confidence. When we steeple people, we intimidate people. Janine, I love that tip. And I
want to go even deeper into it. If you're listening to me right now and you're not watching on YouTube,
let me just explain this because I want to be sure that you got this. Janine is placing the
fingertips of both hands together. So you can do this by just put your palms together, almost like
you're praying. And now keep your fingertips together and spread the actual hands in your palms
apart. Right? So you're arching your hands so that the tips of the fingers look like a church
steeple. Got it? Good. And now the next time you're with your boss or your professor or someone is
talking over you or a jerk who isn't giving you the respect that you need or you're on your first
date with that person you met on hinge, just lean back and do the steeple. Now I love the steeple,
but Janine was just getting warmed up. Here's another fantastic tip that she shared with you for
displaying confidence. You're going to use this one when you walk into a room or when you're sitting
at a table or a desk. Janine wants you to think of one of the Avengers. So let's jump back into the
episode for this next tip on how to look and display more confidence. You pull your shoulders back,
it's actually uncomfortable and you're not going to look weird. Instead I want you to think like
like Tony Stark, right? Iron man. Iron man. He's got this circle orb that keeps him alive on his
chest. Right. I mean, you'd imagine you have that in the center of your chest. Okay. And a laser
beam shoots out of it. If that laser beam based on your posture is going to hit the ground,
then you're being clock Kent. If you want to be Superman, where the wall meets the ceiling is a
confident feeling. So you just want to take that laser beam and lift your chest to where the wall
meets the ceiling. Okay. Relax your shoulders. Relax those, those, yeah, much better. And now as you're
walking, you change how you are perceived. Oh my gosh. I love this stuff where the wall meets the
ceiling is a confident feeling. I don't know about you, but I got my chest up that orb that ironman
thing. I'm pointing it up where the wall meets the ceiling. It feels great. You got to try this.
And guess what? Jennings not done because while she's busy teaching you and I how to steeple and how
to put the orb up toward the ceiling, she is now going to move right into lying and how you can tell
if people are lying to you. Don't you want to know that? I sure do. She said people are lying to
when they use a technique called eye blocking. And I want you to hear about what eye blocking is
from Janine driver. And in order to set up this clip, especially if you're listening to this,
I just want to tell you that in the clip, she's going to be using the example of a cell phone.
And so if you're listening, just picture her using a cell phone. And when she makes this reference
about a cell phone that she has in her hand, she's going to mention a screen saver. You know that
thing that happens where all of a sudden the lock screen comes on your phone and then you got to
put your password into unlock it. That's what she's referring to. Okay. So let's hear Janine describe
what eye blocking is and how you know if someone's lying. So here's eye blocking. I'm blocking
I have an iPhone right here, right? So I have to enter my code to get access to my cell phone.
Eye blocking is you are putting up the code to inside your brain that you don't want people to
have access to information that's inside your brain. So eye blocking can be I put my hand over
my eyes. I could be adjusting my head. I could be breaking the eye contact. I'm looking away.
And so eye blocking happens under high stress and high anxiety. People will block. When they talk,
they break eye contact a lot. So eye blocking is there's something I don't want you to see right now.
And I'm putting up my screen saver. And unless you have the code, which I'm going to give to you again.
So maybe I'm wrong here. It seems to me there's something you're uncertain about. You can simply say I
call it MIW formula. Maybe I'm wrong. You know, maybe I'm wrong here, Mel, but it seems to me or
it feels to me that you're uncertain about something. And then let the person say, well, yeah.
Thank you, Janine. Now we know what to look for. And I'll tell you one of the big things that
this has had on my life in terms of the impact. I make sure I don't do it. You know, I think often
times you hear these tips and you constantly are scanning everybody else. You want to make sure that
you're also not breaking eye contact, that you're not eye blocking so that you convey trust and
authority. Now, if you love these tips, you can listen to all of the interview with Janine after
you finish listening to this episode, which again, linked in the description with all the episodes
that we've mentioned so far. And because she has so many tips, I really, really encourage you to
check that out when you have some time because you're going to learn, for example, why you should grab
your chin during a high level meeting. You'll learn the million dollar question that you should ask
at the end of every single interview and why you should never sit directly across from someone on
a first date. Ooh, that's kind of interesting. I wonder why not. You're going to find out. Okay.
The final and fifth piece of advice that you loved from the experts on the Mel Robbins podcast.
This last one was delivered by one of my favorite guests and she also happens to be my mother-in-law.
Judy Robbins is an 86 year old powerhouse and I guarantee you what she does in a day runs circles
around what you or I do in a week. She has more energy than a 16 year old and she's smart as a whip
and the woman still wears a bikini. She is so physically fit that I embarrass myself when I stand
next to her in a bar class because she always has heavier weights than I do and I sweat more than she
does. You absolutely loved Judy. You loved this episode. You wanted more and more and more from her
and her secrets to living a long, happy, healthy, fulfilling, purposeful and fun life. You just
watch them over and over on YouTube. And one of the things that she talked about that really
struck to cord was specific things that she's done to avoid loneliness even though she's been a
widower for more than 20 years. Now you wanted to know all about her daily routines in particular.
You kept playing this clip about her morning routine over and over and over again. So here is my 86
year old mother-in-law Judy Robbins telling you what she does in the morning and I have no doubt
you will live longer and be happier if you do this too. What's a day in the life of Judy Robbins
look like? You want to know specifically? Yeah what time do you wake up? I wake up very early because
I'm old and you do when you're when you're when you get old you wake up too early. I have a sauna
in my house. So I go downstairs I turn my sauna on. Then I make myself water and the orange,
you know, 1000, you know those packets. Oh you have an emergency? Yeah. Okay. I have an emergency
in water. Okay. Vitamin C last. And I make myself a nice latte. Yeah. I get back in bed.
Okay. Okay. I have I can do that now. You know, I don't have kids running around.
And then I go through my mail in bed. Yeah on my phone. You go through your mail on your phone?
Yeah. Oh, you mean your email? Yeah. You have been the exact opposite of what I tell people to do
by the way. Keep going. And I play one hand of bridge on your phone. Yeah on my phone. It's
a practice hand. Okay. I never seem to win but I play it every morning. Then I go downstairs.
I get in the sauna. I have a mantra that I'm actually it's a fairly new mantra that I've learned
from a woman up here which is mind blowing. And what's your new mantra? Are you allowed to share? Sure.
It's called sa ta ma na. And they sing it first. They go sa ta ma na sa ta ma na. And they do that for
probably 25 times and then they whisper it. Sa ta ma na. And then they do it silently in your head.
And while you're doing it, you use your hands. What do you do with your hands? Sa ta ma na. Oh,
so you do the finger test. Sa ta ma na sa. And you touch your first finger and second to your
thumb. Now the woman that teaches it here in Manchester. Yeah. She's a yoga teacher. But she is
taught this all over the world to people with Alzheimer's and dementia and has actually proven
that she can stimulate your brain if you continually do that every single day. Well, I don't doubt it.
I mean, if you if you listen to some of the brain experts, you're basically talking about what I
believe is called, I'm going to forget the name. It's a neurobex where you are combining a
intentional thought with a physical movement. Oh, okay. It's one of the fastest ways to create
new neural pathways. It's a whole field of study called neurobex. And that's what you're doing.
That's what I'm doing. You're basically pairing intentional thought with a physical movement
of touching each one of your fingers to your thumb. Yeah. And what do you notice when you do it
for yourself personally? I don't know. I think I'm convincing myself that I'm remembering more
things. I don't know. It's it's all in your mind, right? It is true. Or it's not in your mind.
Okay. So then after the sauna, what do you do? Then I come upstairs and I make myself a kombucha,
apple cider vinegar, and a fresh squeezed orange juice. Okay. Like all together. Yeah.
Drays one thing. That's similar to the farmers switsel, switsel, swish-whale, something switsel,
switsel, something like that that my grandmother used to drink of my mom drinks, which is hot water,
apple cider vinegar, a little bit of honey, and some lemon. Well, you have to mix apple cider vinegar
with something because it tastes terrible. Yes. Okay. So now we've got our day done. And no,
then I go and walk for five miles. Okay. Now this, I think, is really important. How long
have you walked five miles a day? Well, I used to run. I used to be a runner. Yeah. And I think I
stopped running, I don't know, when I was like 75. Talk about a casual brag. I mean, the woman
is always flexing and not just her biceps. I stopped running when I was 75. I think I stopped running
when I was 35. I mean, I was like, oh my gosh, woman, isn't her routine amazing? I know you loved it
because you wrote more comments about it than almost any other episode in the last 12 months.
And it was one of those episodes where almost every single person who listened stayed until the very,
very end of it. That's how much you loved it. And look, you don't always stay until the end. That's
cool. I know you got things to do. I still love you, but you stayed until the end for Judy. And I
know why you did because it was the advice that you gave at the end of the episode about purpose
and meaning that really hit you. It was incredible. And you were taken by surprise. In this clip,
you're going to hear me ask her, what do you do when you're at a point in your life where you feel
really lonely? And I thought her answer was one of the most beautiful things I had ever heard.
Take a listen. We have a lot of people that write into this show who say they have no one.
And if you were to talk directly to somebody who feels like they don't have anyone who loves
them in their life, because I'm always surprised by the number of people who write in about this,
what would your advice be about how to get started without skipping a beat? I would start by
taking the hospice training and go and take care of somebody because who you take care of
is going to give you love and is going to make you feel so good about yourself. Even if you don't
have your neighbor or your friend, if they don't love you, the person that you are taking care of
will love you. Makes a very big difference. I've been doing hospice for over 40 years.
And people say, I don't know how you do that. These people are dying. It is the most rewarding thing
that you can do. And your husband does it. What do you get out of it? A tremendous
feeling of satisfaction that I've contributed to somebody's life, like Judy. I went and saw her
this morning. Even if I only spend an hour, this is a very good friend, as you know, of mine,
who has Parkinson's. If I only came in for 15 minutes, she's grateful. You just have to make the time.
You can't say that you're too busy. And so for the people that feel very lonely, that don't have
anybody that love them, they can create love by taking care of somebody else. That is
such beautiful advice, because we do start to look outside ourselves and look for other people
to fill a need. And what you're saying is the truth. Fill it for yourself first and the way
to bring more love into your life is to give it to a perfect stranger and being part of the hospice
community. That's an incredible piece of advice. So how do you stay young at heart? What do you think
that's about? Well, I go back again about living in the moment. And I don't take any day for granted
that I have. I mean, I'm really grateful for every day I have. Yeah. And that's the only thing
I can say. I mean, I think most people live their lives like, well, of course, they'll be tomorrow.
There was yesterday, they'll be tomorrow. They'll be next week. I can do this. I can do that.
Well, who is to say we have a friend who just was on his motorcycle, Bingo. Yeah.
So that keeps me
positive because I'm grateful. I'm so grateful. First of all, I have a fabulous life.
I am incredible family. All these grandchildren. I'm not sick. You know, I'm healthy. I have
all my knees and all my hips. So I'm very grateful. You have what you have right now at the moment
and don't expect anything more. And I think people live in a lot of disappointment
because they think about what they'd like to have or what their neighbor has or
something other than what they have this moment. And that creates the stress because if there's
something out there that you want and you don't have it, that's stressing itself. Be thankful
what you do have. Don't think about what you wish you had. I'll always remember, and I think
this is true of every little, every child. My mother used to say, you know, you're going to wish
your life away because we'd say, oh, I wish I could have. I wish I could do. I wish I could go.
You know, as a child, we're always wishing. She said, you're going to wish your life away. Well,
what are you wishing for? Just be grateful for what you have right this minute.
Don't wish your life away. Stop wishing for everything that you don't have and focus on what you do
have. Whether it's your health or family or a good friend or a roof over your head or the ability
to listen to this podcast, the time to be here with me right now. That's something to be grateful for.
I know I'm so grateful that you're spending time with me right now. And you know what else I'd
be really grateful for? I'd love to know how you're going to incorporate what you learned today
into your life. If you're listening on Spotify or YouTube, just drop a note in the comments below
and tell me if you're listening on Apple or another platform, you can tell me how you're going to
use what you learned today in the review that you leave. Tell us what you learned and please tell
me what you loved. And if you got someone in your life that came to mind while you were listening to
one of the five experts today, please share this episode with them. I don't know about you,
but my family and my friends, they don't listen to me. So I often find that I'm sharing these
episodes with my family and my friends because I figure they're going to listen to the experts.
Let this show and all the episodes that you love be that resource for you. And in case no one
else tells you today, I wanted to be sure to tell you that I love you and I believe in you.
And I believe in your ability to create a better life. And now you got five amazing pieces of
advice to help you do it. So go do it. And I'll talk to you in a few days.
Do they know that we are taping? I have no idea. It's probably okay. Hold on a second.
Can you go back down up to the top? Then trick. Okay. Oh my god.
Sorry, I'm just so talked out. Was that clear, babe? Okay.
You're right in the pocket. Well, thanks, same.
Okay. Oh, sorry. I'm just like super. I don't know what today.
Thank you.
Sorry, guys.
Oh, and one more thing. And no, this is not a blooper. This is the legal language. You know,
what the lawyers write and what I need to read to you. This podcast is presented solely for educational
and entertainment purposes. I'm just your friend. I am not a licensed therapist and this podcast
is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist,
or other qualified professional. Got it? Good. I'll see you in the next episode.
Stitcher.
