In today's episode, you'll discover why you can be crushing it at work for decades and yet freeze when you're put in the spotlight.
And you'll learn a totally unexpected antidote.
Welcome back to Speak Up, the podcast for high performing introverts, including you, social introverts, where we reveal the charisma and communication secrets of A-listers so that you get the recognition and the opportunities you have earned.
I am your host, Laura Camacho, your magical executive presence, coach, godmother, and strategist.
And by the end of today's short episode you will know how imposter syndrome can derail you even after a juicy promotion.
The executive presence mindset antidote almost no one talks about, and why taking yourself not quite so seriously can become your competitive advantage.
So there is a private struggle that a lot of high performers don't talk about for a good reason.
You know you're, you've earned your place, you've been over delivering for years.
You may even have made it to a pretty senior role.
Big scope, lots of impact.
And on paper, you're like powerhouse.
But deep down, when you walk into a new room or you're going to be with you know, senior executives you don't know very well, you get that feeling in the pit of your stomach.
And even like, Oh, what if I'm not supposed to be here?
It's like not a logical, rational thought.
I get that.
You know that.
You can't explain it.
You can't logic your way out of it.
You know you're competent, but you feel that, right?
And today I'm going to break this pattern wide open and give you some insight into why it's happening and what you can do about it.
So things that I hear from people probably a lot like you that oh, I've been in this business for over 20 years, led all these teams, all these people built enterprise assets.
But when it comes to my turn to speak, I still freeze.
Or in these senior leadership meetings, I'm quiet, not because I don't have anything to say, but by the time I get my nerve up and figure out how I'm going to say it, then they're on to another topic.
That happens a lot.
Or even after promotion you think oh what if they find out I'm not as strategic as they think right?
It may make you feel better to know that even people who have won Nobel Prizes in science feel that too, that they're afraid they're going to be found out.
So it's a universal epidemic of self-doubt.
That happens is something that high performers have to deal with.
It's not a competence issue.
It's not a skill gap.
It's a pattern of under communicating despite over performing.
Let me repeat that.
Under communicating despite over performing.
So when you don't speak in these high stakes meetings or the board meetings, presentations.
People are assuming that you don't have anything to say or worse, you're not engaged, you're not strategic, you're not ready for the next level.
It doesn't matter that your team adores you, that your work is flawless.
Silence is not seen as humility.
It's seen as an absence or could possibly be even seen as apathy.
It's just a vibe, right, in the room.
And that can make you question yourself even more and make your confidence go down and make you question yourself more.
It can be a negative spiral.
And it can get expensive, right?
Because you may see somebody with a lot less experience than you getting that promotion or that project, because they were the ones that spoke up right.
They are the ones that said things even though they don't have your track record.
You can't can be in a situation where you're carrying the work, doing the work and other people are taking more of the credit.
And you're like, I don't care about the credit.
And I get that.
I don't care about the credit either, but that's not the thing.
It's that the company needs to hear from you so that the company is more successful.
It's great that you're a doer, but you want to be a driver.
And that's assuming that you really do want that because you can be a high performer and just keep doing your thing and have a happy life.
But some of you I know really want to contribute at a higher level.
And your performance reviews, you're probably getting very good marks.
You may hear things like, oh, you're great, but we never hear from you.
Or, you know, yes, you over deliver, but you don't have visibility.
Not enough people know you.
We're not sure you're strategic enough.
Or they may not even say anything.
And frankly, that happens a lot.
So there's a few things that you could be thinking that are not true.
They're called myths.
And one of them is the ancient myth of if I keep doing good work, somebody will notice.
And yes, noticing your good work and your responsible work ethic, that is one thing.
But getting a promotion or getting a high visibility project is another category of.
These are differences of category.
Or you may be thinking, well, I'm just not naturally polished like them.
Who cares?
You don't need to sound like them.
You need to be strategically heard.
I heard this investor, like a famous investor.
I'm not going to say his name.
I had never heard him before, but then I found out he was super famous.
And you could tell that he was not like polished and sophisticated sounding at all, but he was real and And he has quite the reputation for predicting performance of stocks in the tech sectors now particularly with AI.
So yeah, you don't need to sound like you went to Harvard or what is it called?
Boarding school.
No, we've got enough people like that already.
And then finally, don't think that if you're feeling that feeling in your pit of your stomach, which some people call imposter syndrome, that it means that you're not ready.
It doesn't mean you're not ready.
It just means you're nervous.
You have self-doubt and you need to make some changes in the way you think about it.
So what is the unexpected antidote, Laura?
I'm so glad you asked.
It's not more confidence.
It's not faking it.
It's not more preparation.
It's not more certifications.
I want you to approach these scary meetings with some lightness.
Light and breezy playfulness charm, humor.
I know you have it in you and you bring it out at other times.
Bring it to the meeting room, and it's not that you're going to be laughing your head off and telling jokes.
It does not mean you're lowering your standards.
It's just like not taking the whole situation quite so seriously and being really human about it.
If you can use a little bit of humor, like just an observation.
I'm not asking you to tell jokes, right?
I'm not asking you to be a famous comedian.
But if you can bring that funny observation, self-deprecating humor, as long as you don't deprecate your talent, but just funny things like drinking too much coffee.
That's going to do three things for you.
It's going to break internal tension.
And I always tell people a relaxed audience is more receptive.
So it breaks the tension.
Number two, makes you more relatable, approachable, and credible.
It's not an either or.
Yes, you can be kind of like cracking a wisecrack comment, smartass comment, and still be credible.
And it signals confidence without arrogance.
And that's you, right?
And leaders who use appropriate humor and yes, you do have to make sure it's appropriate they are rated as more admirable and motivating.
And according to one statistic, I found 27.
You know I'm a little skeptical of that number, but yeah, you know yourself that you like leaders who have a little bit of humor in them.
Charm, Which is what?
It's just having a place, light and breezy attitude, a playful attitude that's disarming.
The humor humanizes you.
Even if they don't laugh at your joke.
I mean, that has happened to me all the time.
I always have to explain my jokes, even to my family.
That's okay.
It's part of my brand.
But that's going to totally blow up the imposter narrative that's in your brain, because it's going to just change the focus, change your paradigm completely.
If you feel that feeling and I want you to be able to recognize physically when that pesky imposter syndrome is showing up, notice it.
Notice it's just insecurity.
You could see it as self-doubt.
I would really prefer you not use the term imposter syndrome.
And bring a small comment.
You can add value to a meeting without giving a soliloquy.
You can make an observation.
You can affirm what someone else has said and add value to that.
You can ask a clarifying question.
One big way to... speak up on a topic when they're already moving on is to say hey before we move on I want to point out blah blah blah like just start small but start saying things that add value and start thinking about it like I don't want to call work fun but if you can make it light and breezy a little bit you're going to be so far ahead and that's going to help you have a stronger leadership narrative and It's going to help you speak without spiraling into overthinking.
It's going to help you be concise and strategic.
It's going to help you own the room.
Not about becoming somebody else.
It's amplifying who you already are.
So if you're in a new role or new opportunity, or if you're not, but tired of being the invisible workhorse, you may want to look at my Executive Presence Mastery System.
It's a private executive coaching program.
It precisely deals with this problem.
It has four pillars that we go over.
If you wanna know more about it, simply set up some time with me.
You can do that on the show notes at the very top.
There's a link.
You can go to my website, speakupwithlaura.com slash speak up, set up 30 minutes.
We'll have a quick strategy call see what's really holding you back, see if it's executive present, if my program is appropriate for you.
I don't want anybody faking, forcing, posturing.
We've got too much of that already.
I want you to be getting the recognition you've already earned.
And in any case, have a fantastic day and I will catch you on the next episode.
