Every little thing you think that you need every little thing everything that you need every little thing that's just feeding your greed oh I bet that you'll be fine without it you're listening to the minimalist podcast with Joshua Fields Milburn and TK Coleman recorded live at Earthing Studios in sunny California.
Yes thank you, Malabama.
Hello, everybody. Today for the fourth installment of our five part Household Clutter Series.
We're talking about the most intimate clutter area in our homes, bedroom clutter.
Joining us in the studio to help us make our beds is a self -proclaimed recovering super slob turned organizing expert, Cass Arson.
Cass is the founder of Clutterbug, and you've probably seen her on HGTV as the host of Hot Mess House.
Coming up on this free public minimal episode, a caller has a question about the clutter that keeps accumulating on her nightstand.
And then we've got a question about the things that don't belong in the bedroom.
That's followed by our Right Here, Right Now segment and a listener tip.
You could check out the maximal edition of episode 480.
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Let's start with our callers.
If you have a question or comment for our show, we'd love to hear from you.
Give us a call. Our phone number is 406 -219 -7839.
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Our first question today is from Jennifer.
Hello! Thank you so much Minimalists for putting this out to the Patreon community.
I just joined your Patreon.
I'm excited to follow, as I begin this Minimalist journey as a mother who works full -time and has three little ones and a husband at home.
One of the questions I had in the bedroom space, I feel confident about the closet, the bed and overall viewing space, but the nightstand.
I am terrified to get into the nightstand, it's a place where I've just been throwing you know personal cards, random items, anything kind of from the day gets jammed in the drawers and two of the shelves and I'm just curious how do you navigate that sort of space and and what should really get put in there, that would be appropriate for the bedroom and create more of a stress -free, calmer aspect.
Right now it's the spot that I know kind of catches all things, and I also feel like it's the spot I've been avoiding because I have trouble too with some of those more sentimental items. So, things that you want to keep in your own private space, where should that really go and how do you manage all that?
Thank you again for putting this out to the community and for sharing your own elliptics experiences.
Chaos Arson, what a great place to start.
I rarely get frustrated or annoyed by other people's clutter, but I am really impressed or at least fascinated by nightstand clutter.
I don't get it at all.
My nightstand literally has nothing on it.
And that's not a judgment of anyone else, but I see other people's nightstands.
I see it on a TV show or I go to someone's house And I'm like, wow, this is really a magnet for all of these things to sort of accumulate.
What's behind that?
We love our beds. That's what's behind it.
We spend time in there, not just sleeping, but we'll watch TV or we'll read or we'll relax.
And that's a hotspot.
You put things down when you're done with them.
What I see over and over again are like those everyday items tend to add up quick, whether it's your coffee cup, your drink, your water bottle.
The glasses, if you're old like me, and you need reading glasses, and somehow you have seven now on your nightstand table, or medication that you're taking.
And then what happens is it never leaves, right?
We just shove it in the drawer and hide it, and before you know it, it's taken over.
So we have to treat the bedside table like every other hotspot in our home, which is daily tidy ups.
That's the secret. It really is.
And then it doesn't become overwhelming.
So if you are feeling this, And you're like, it's a hot mess in my drawer.
I like to start with something called trash bag therapy, which is like therapeutic.
You just grab a trash bag, and you're just hunting for garbage, old receipts, mail that's expired, all of that type of stuff.
You're gonna find it in your bedside table.
And that's like the catalyst to go a step further.
Yeah, you know, I have this rule called the no piles rule because flat surfaces, especially like nightstands, at any flat surface, coffee tables, credenza, sideboards, media consoles, the kitchen island or kitchen counters, they all become these repositories of I'll just get to it later items. I'll just deal with that later.
It's the sort of procrastination of the mind.
It's much easier for me to complicate my future life and actually make my future life less simple.
But if I just set this here now and a pile starts with just one item and has to let's start with one item and then it grows from there.
So I think the nightstands are ripe for these piles because it's sort of the end of the day and I'm in bed and, you know, I don't wanna get up and do anything with this thing.
So I'll just set it here and I'll deal with it tomorrow.
But then of course tomorrow arrives and I'll deal with it tomorrow.
And tomorrow arrives again and I'll deal with it tomorrow.
And it's this perpetual cycle of procrastination.
and once that happens, one piece of clutter becomes 10 pieces, becomes a hundred pieces, and then we're shoving things in drawers.
And in fact, my nightstands have three drawers on them and I use them intentionally.
In fact, I got nightstands where I could hide the things that I want to keep in there.
I've got some CBD pills or maybe Benadryl during the sneezing season, And I have things in there intentionally, but I don't let it become the defacto trash bag or maybe the purgatory for the trash where it'll eventually end up.
Yeah, I gotta ask you, you said nothing is on your nightstand, why do you have one?
Ooh, because of the things I like to keep inside the nightstand.
Yeah, that makes perfect sense.
I do have a lamp on the nightstand so I shouldn't say nothing.
And so if I want to read at night, there's the opportunity to do that there, But very rarely do I read in bed even.
In fact, I can't even tell you the last time that I read in bed.
Another thing that we do at night, and we talked about this on the invisible clutter episode is in our home we turn off all electricity, like the EMS are just turned off altogether.
So and it just helps my wife sleep much, much better.
So not having wifi on, but not even having the electricity in our house on save for the refrigerator in the kitchen that is on a separate circuit and our HVAC is on a separate circuit.
but all electricity in our home is off as well.
So on my nightstand, the lamp is battery powered and rechargeable so that if I do absolutely need to get up in the dark, I can't just switch on the light in our bedroom.
At least I have a light source, so I'm gonna get up in the middle of the night and use the bathroom.
Yeah, I use mine in a similar way.
I keep my Kindle on my nightstand because I like to read fiction before going to bed and it's got the, what do you call it, the back light or something like that where you don't have the eye strain.
And so, whatever it is I want to read, I can find something on that Kindle.
And I generally like to fall asleep while reading.
I keep an eye mask because of the arrangement of windows in my bedroom, I don't get that perfect darkness.
So I keep an eye mask there.
And then I keep a coaster there so that I can set my water on the coaster.
And that's in the drawer and I pull it out and put it on top of the nightstand every night.
I saw an onion article title that says man puts a glass of water on his nightstand in case he needs to make a big mess in the middle of the night, I am that man, so I do that.
But you know, one thing I'll say is, I really like Kaz's trash bag therapy.
And if for any reason that feels too committed, like, oh, I don't know if I wanna commit to putting it in the trash, maybe a softer version of that you can use would be to say, talk about it therapy.
You take a little box and you do the same thing with the trash bag therapy, but you look at everything that's not a hell yes, But maybe you're not sure you want to go as far as saying, if it's not a hell yes, it's a hell no. But all you got to do is say, it's debatable.
So you look at something, you go, it's not a hell yes, so it's debatable.
Let's put it in the box.
Not a hell yes, it's debatable.
Let's put it in the box.
And then you can take all the things that are in your box and you can look at it and say, all right, what's something that I can let go?
Do I really got to have anything that's here?
And if there's a hell yes in there, you put it in its proper place and anything that you can let go comfortably, then you get rid of them.
Another thing about the nightstand, it often represents the place where we put the things we're too tired to think about.
At the end of the night, we have this in our hand and we just don't want to get up and go put it back in the kitchen.
We don't want to get up and go put it back in the closet.
And so we just dump it on the nightstand because we're too tired.
That's actually okay.
Life would be really inconvenient if we had to put everything back into its proper place within 10 seconds of using it.
Imagine what it'd be like to cook a meal if you pull out the salt and pepper and you put it on something and you immediately got to go put that back in the pantry before you can move on to your next thing.
Life would get really messy, but what you can do to counteract the way things pile up is you can just build into your day the 45 seconds it takes to review that nightstand and to put things into the proper place.
All right. Last night, I was too tired to put the book back or the class back.
That's fine. But every day, just walk over to that nightstand.
Make it a habit. You got to make up your bed anyway, right after you make up your bed, 45 seconds review what needs to go back to its proper place and then you don't have to pile up.
Cass you have anything to add to that?
Yeah, I gotta be real with you guys.
You guys have your life together in a way that I do not.
Okay, guess what's in my nightstand candy wrappers and I eat mashed potatoes and gravy in my bed, like you guys up here with your coaster in your lamp.
Okay, cool. I don't have a coaster, I'm not a maximalist. Uh, yeah, so my hot mess, my nightstand becomes a hot mess, man.
I got to, I got to make it a priority and one mantra I'm just going to say that I practice and I try to drill into my kids, like never leave a room empty handed.
So that way in the morning when I'm going downstairs, I'm like, oh, it's all those skittles I ate last night.
I better grab the wrapper and take it down to the trash.
That's another thing I do.
I, I, if it were off to me, we'd have one trash can in the house...
and that's it. My family would, I think, have some sort of mutiny if we just had one trash can though, but we have very few, and I don't throw things away in the bathroom trash can.
For what I have to take it out to the kitchen, put it in the kitchen trash can when I am throwing something away, it's probably there's some OCD we could unpack there.
Do you ever use the bathroom trash can?
I don't, but my family does, and, oh wow.
Yeah, I just don't like having trash in multiple places throughout the home but especially not having trash on the nightstand itself.
So a few rules come to mind from what TK was talking about.
The first one is setting the stage rule.
You take five minutes at night.
At first it is usually 10 to 15 minutes for folks, so set a 10 minute timer and do what you can within those 10 minutes to reset the stage for the next morning.
So you're not waking up to a cluttered home the next day.
You're not waking up to chaos.
You're setting the stage for a calm morning.
the other rules that come to mind.
Spontaneous combustion rule and the wooden repurchase rule.
I often conflate these myself whenever I'm talking about them on the podcast. The wooden repurchase rules, you could look at any item on your nightstand and say, okay, why is that here?
Would I repurchase that if I lost it right now?
And if the answer is yes, then of course keep it.
Now maybe there's a better poem for it at that point but if the answer is no, of course I wouldn't repurchase this.
Well then why are we still holding on to it?
And the spontaneous combustion rule, I was just at the gym yesterday, swimming some laps and the kind woman at the counter there, she's been asking me about decluttering cause she saw us on Netflix, and she was asking about like, she'd just moved and she's trying to get rid of some old stuff, some sentimental items, which is what Jennifer brought up.
Sentimental items on the nightstand?
Wait a minute, how are we keeping sentimental items on the nightstand?
Anyway, this kind woman at the front desk of the gym, and she asked me, she goes, okay, so I've got this painting for my sister and it's of one of my cats from years ago.
And it's before my sister was a very good artist and she's a really talented artist now, but she wasn't back then, but I've got this painting and I don't know what to do with it.
I said, well, spontaneous combustion rule, I said, what's that?
I said, well, if it were to spontaneously combust, would you feel a sense of panic or would you feel a sense of relief?
and she looks at me full bodice sigh, I think I feel relief, I said, I think you've got your answer.
It's time to burn it in the back yard. That's what I'm hearing.
I was thinking you should have a dating show.
Okay, so talk to me a bit about sentimental items and how they get misplaced in the bedroom even.
Yeah, I think sentimental items get misplaced everywhere because people don't have this like critical tool that is so life -changing and it's literally just a memory box or a memory bin.
And I like having one for each family member and just putting their name on it and it does this amazing thing in that it gives a special protected safe home to your stuff so that you realize like it gives you peace of mind because you realize it's protected.
When you don't have that and you have sentimental items mixed in with unimportant items, suddenly everything feels important.
You are reluctant to go and declutter anything because there could be good stuff in there.
There could be good things.
There could be really special things.
And once you've committed and you're intentional and you create this little kind of like a time capsule for memories, it does.
It subconsciously gives you that peace of mind and you realize like, oh, this isn't as special because I know my most precious things are safe and protected.
I feel like if you are starting to get organized or declutter, this is the first tool you need to create, which is a memory bin for every family member.
And the reason I wanted to do a whole episode in bedroom clutter as part of this series is we talked with Joshua Becker on the first episode, he recommends starting in the living room and or the bedroom because these are the places that you can make the most difference in the shortest amount of time.
If you really want to cut down the clutter in your attic, you can spend days in your attic Like if you've got a lot of stuff up there and it will make a difference, but not a very big difference because there's a lot of clutter you don't see every day.
And yes, it's important to deal with that at some point.
It's just not a place I would start because you haven't built up that letting go muscle.
I love this idea of the sentimental items you're talking about, I love what TK says.
On top of it is there are no sentimental items only sentimental people.
And what is true about that is if you were to hand me one of your memory boxes, I would have no memories attached with those things because the memories aren't in the things in that box.
They're in you, and they're great to trigger those memories.
But if we're holding on to everything, then it can't all possibly be precious.
If everything is precious, then nothing is precious.
It's so true. And that's why it's good to make one small box and let the container be the bad guy.
Like, that's all you can keep that's special.
And don't put it in your attic or your basement.
This is something that should be in your living space.
So it's not only easy to put something quickly away, like, oh, I got this great photo or this beautiful letter.
You want to be able to put it away, not put it on the counter to put it away later immediately.
But also you should go through this and you should like reminisce with your memory.
So your memory bin, as I call it, should be somewhere really easily accessible and just part of your home.
It's not in the storage locker on the edge of town.
Isn't it interesting that in the horror movies, where is the monster?
It's always in the closet, under the bed, in the attic, in the basement, in the places where we store stuff that we don't want to have to look at.
So maybe there's a message there, the monsters are haunting us.
And all they're really doing is asking us to take a look at them so we can let this stuff go.
And those if we don't have the right rules in place, if we don't have the right boundaries in place, those monsters begin to multiply.
And they start to come out from under the bed and they end up on the nightstand, or they end up on the dresser, and we're gonna talk more about some bedroom clutter here in a moment.
But Jennifer, we talked about several different rules for simplifying your life.
The Minimalists have a free rule book.
You can download it on our website.
Just go to theminimalists .com.
Click Resources at the top.
On our Resources page, we have a bunch of free resources you can download.
One of those is the Minimalist rule book.
It's called 16 Rules for Living with Less.
And we talk about some boundaries you can set up in your home, in your bedroom, or anywhere else in your life that will help you simplify the minimalists .com.
Click on Resources.
You can also check out the audio book version of that rule book as well.
Before we get back to our callers, Malabama, what time is it?
You know what time it is.
It's time for The Lightning Round where we answer the Patreon community chats, question of the week.
Yes, indeed. Now, Kas, during The Lightning Round, we attempt to answer questions with a short, shareable, minimal maxim.
Our listeners can find this episode's maximums in the show notes at theminimalists .com slash podcast and every minimal maxim ever at minimalmaxims .com.
We'll also deliver our weekly show notes directly to your inbox including seven new maxims every Monday for free.
If you sign up for our email newsletter over at TheMinimalists .email, we'll never send you spam or junk or Super Bowl advertisements.
But we will start your week off with a dose of simplicity.
What is the question of the week this week?
What's your personal definition of bedroom clutter and what's one thing that doesn't belong in the bedroom?
Yes, your personal definition of bedroom clutter.
And what's one thing that doesn't belong in the bedroom?
Cas, I really want to hear your answer.
But first, let's, let's check in with our simple tins here.
What do some of our listeners have to say?
Nancy said, bedroom clutter to me is an unmade bed.
Ah, yeah. So we're going to talk about this a bit more on the.
More about less segment on page three.
We're talking about the four most cluttered areas of every home that's hiding in plain sight.
So sometimes our clutter is hiding in plain sight.
We just see it every day.
that we don't realize that it is clutter.
What do you say about that though?
As an unmade bed that feels like clutter to me?
Yep. I'm not so great at making my bed first thing in the morning, but I heard that you're supposed to let it air.
So that's my excuse.
I heard this, but I do make the bed before bed and I know this sounds really weird, but I love crawling into a made bed at night and I feel like it just sets the tone right for your sleep.
So I don't always do it first thing in the morning.
we're rushing out the door, but it gets done and that's all that matters.
Yeah and you know what?
It's what matters to you, right?
And so for me, the first thing I want done in the morning is I wanna make the bed.
I want to calm the space because that to me is where it feels like the most chaos because I don't have chaos anywhere else in my bedroom.
In fact, it's relatively stark, intentionally so.
It's more stark than the rest of our house because I don't want a whole bunch of extra activities there.
What else you got Bama?
Deerja said, I consider bedroom clutter to be anything that takes away from my sense of peace at the end of the day.
And it doesn't necessarily need to be physical.
Ooh, yeah. So it can be arguing in the bedroom.
That's a type of bedroom clutter.
But also, what else...
What else is getting in the way of our bedrooms?
What are you seeing, people?
And they're struggling to let go of the things that are in their bedroom.
I think the real issue is that bedrooms are the bottom of the priority list when they should be the top.
So people hide stuff in the bedroom because they don't want company to see it.
they shove all the crap that they're, you know, oh, my mother -in -law is gonna be here and shove everything in the bedroom.
And it's like this neglected space that we ignore because it's not seen by other people.
But the truth is it should be the top priority in our home because it's our sanctuary, it's a form of self love and self respect to put it first. And it's the absolute, when you open your eyes it's the first thing you see in the morning and the last thing you see before you go to bed.
So it had better be someplace that you find beautiful and peaceful and it should, if you don't walk in your bedroom and audibly, ha, you haven't made it a priority yet.
Yeah TK, no one wants to wake up to chaos.
Yeah, isn't it interesting too that the very act of hiding things in the bathroom reveals what we think of it.
Because why don't we say, oh, someone's coming over, throw it in the bathroom.
A bedroom, bedroom, yeah.
Throw it in the bathroom, throw it in the kitchen.
Because we know that the bedroom is this sacred space.
It's an intimate space.
And no one's going to go there and no one's going to have a hard time understanding why that part of the home is closed.
And so implicit in that hiding, it is a recognition of its value.
I really loved that though.
The last thing you see, and the first thing you see, you want it to make you breathe that sigh of relief, yeah.
And no one wants to wake up in a storage locker.
That is my personal definition of hell.
What else we got? Meredith said bedroom clutter is anything that makes your room less peaceful.
Like the pile of clean clothes that I moved from the bed to the floor each night and the clutter that accumulates on top of the dresser.
This is something else I don't understand, so I'm gonna tune into Cas here.
My OCD would never allow me to take a pile of clothes and set it anywhere.
And so as soon as the clothes come out of the dryer, they must be folded or hung immediately.
What if you get a phone call?
What if you don't have time?
What do you do? Well, it does.
The house could be on fire TK, and I'm putting the clothes in the drawer.
That is a movie I want to see.
I'm not saying it's healthy.
I'm just saying this is where my mind goes.
In fact, I wrote this essay called the perfect closet.
We'll put a link to it in the show notes.
I'm not going to read the whole thing, but a couple of weeks ago, we did an episode with Courtney Carver about closet clutter, which is so closely related to bedroom clutter, because most of our bedrooms have a closet in them, whether it's a full walk -in closet or just a small little closet where our clothes go, but quite often, the clothes don't go in the closet.
They go on the bed or on the floor or in a pile somewhere, or they're in this hamper or in a laundry basket that is now on the floor or on the bed or on the nightstand, and we have clothes that are accumulating in the bedroom.
This is a little quick excerpt from the perfect closet.
The perfect closet exists, but it is not located on the other side of your next purchase.
According to the Public Interest Research Group, the average American buys 53 new articles of clothing each year.
That's more than one thing per week and four times as much as in the year 2000.
Accordingly, garment manufacturers are now producing more than 100 billion pieces every year, and most of them are ending up on our beds, apparently.
What's crazy about this is I want to blame the fast fashion companies and the corporations because there's a particular kind of corporate greed to get us to buy more and more and more, but we need to be honest with ourselves that these companies are ceaselessly churning out new attire only because we shoppers keep demanding more.
So, part of the problem, Cass, seems to me, is the reason we have piles of clothes, either we put off doing laundry for a long time, or we just keep buying more and more and more, and it accumulates in our closets and our bedrooms and our beds.
Yeah, and there's a third thing, too, and that is that everyone doesn't organize the same way.
So, the truth is that you have this pile of laundry and you're like, oh, I should fold it and put it in the drawers.
Guess what? Drawers don't work for almost half the population.
They just there's like this block because as soon as you put it in the drawer, you can't see it.
You forget that you own it.
Yeah. And it's like, um, it's a friction point.
It's, it's more work.
So here's what I would say.
If you have tons of clothes all over your bed or you're never actually putting that basket of clean clothes away, why not adapt to a system that kind of catches that clutter and gives it a home?
You guys are going to hate this, but he hold on to your hats.
I do not fold, period.
Oh, and that's okay.
So I have big baskets one for pajamas.
I just toss it in, it's a way.
Hey man, it's a way and that's all that matters.
I don't fold underwear.
Stop it. I got better things to do.
No one's gonna see it doesn't matter if it's wrinkled and it's fine.
And here's the other thing.
If you are a person who lives out of clean clothes baskets, why not in your closet get shelving to just put that clean basket on a shelf.
And that's where your clothes go.
And that's how you - Is changing my life right now.
You know what I'm saying?
Why do we gotta fit into these boxes of perfectly lined up folded clothes and dressers and closets all?
That's, it's no man, adapt your home to the way you naturally touch and put your things away.
That's the true definition of organization.
You're right, I hate it for me, but I love it for you.
And Kristen Ziggle, who's gonna be here next week, she's rolling around in her grave right now.
I think you just killed her.
She's not dead. She might be after hearing this.
Kristen Ziggle. We're doing a cabinet clutter with her next week.
And I was just sitting her house out in Richmond, Virginia.
We were filming something for our next documentary.
And she puts me to shame.
I feel like a real clutter bug.
And when I go home, I'm like, I'm actually, I'm like taking video of her claws and I'm like, soon as my wife, like, hey, Bex, this just feels so loving and caring and kind.
And man, look how calm Kristen's space is.
But I love it for me and I love it for Kristen as well, as long as it's not overwhelming to her.
But I also love this idea of, you know what?
If you want to have bins instead of folding things, you can still make it so the clutter gets out of the way.
It's not on your bed, it's still in its appropriate home.
Yeah, my house is spotless.
I know, shocking. It's super clean and tidy and organized, but it's not meticulous.
And it doesn't have to be.
It has to be a calming, beautiful space where you know where everything is.
You can find it quickly and you can put it away quickly, and that's all that matters.
So if you are not a person who's folding and putting your underwear in a drawer, that's okay.
Get a basket, shoot it like a basketball and move on with your life.
Are people still wearing underwear these days, it's 2025.
Let me tell you why I love this really quickly.
People often assume that minimalism is a uniform.
They see the minimalism aesthetic and they say, oh, black, white, it looks this way.
And then they go from uniform to uncreative.
And what I love about what Kaz is saying is that there's room for personalized, customized, creative expression in minimalism.
You can organize in the way that best suits you.
I just love that. Malabam, let's do one more.
This is one of my favorites.
This one comes from Jeffrey.
He said, I know a lot of people are anti -television in the bedroom, however, I find that watching documentaries while I'm going to sleep helps distract my brain.
It seems counterintuitive, right?
I find that trying to just lay there in silence lets all of the little brain gremlins loose and my mind races through any number of things, definitely not relaxing by any stretch of the imagination.
Yeah, that's definitely not relaxing to be dealing with the brain gremlins at night.
I totally get it, right.
For me, having a screen in the bedroom, whether it is a iPad or a phone, or especially a television does not work for me.
It is a distraction for me.
But my personal belief around this as a bedroom or a bed specifically is meant for two things, neither of which involve a glowing screen.
And I don't want a television in my bedroom simply because I'll watch it.
That is my biggest problem.
It's easy for me to get distracted.
for the same reason I don't keep a phone in my bedroom at night.
In fact, I don't let my phone follow me throughout the house.
We have the entryway rule.
As soon as I get home, I plug that phone in and it's like a corded home phone from back in the 1900s and I can go to it and I can still make a phone call or send a text message but those distractions are not following me into the bedroom.
Do you have a philosophy around screens in the bedroom, Cass?
Man, I'm in the wrong place here.
I am watching zombies getting eaten right till the time I close my eyes.
Amazing! Yeah, I love the TV and the bedroom.
I fought my husband over this.
He is definitely more like you than me.
Oh, it's not like he had a black eye today.
Sorry, Joe. It's like, I know.
I'm like, sci -fi, rah!
And then it's like, well, good night.
It's ridiculous. I realize it's ridiculous.
I definitely have to work on this.
But one thing for me, it's like, I need boundaries and rules.
I wanna let my freak flag fly and do all the things I love, but I still have to be a grownup and go to bed at a decent time.
So the great thing is like phones nowadays, you can put screen time on.
So it shuts off every night at the same time you brick that thing.
And so you can't use it even though it's there.
And that's a really great way of if you don't have the self -discipline to put your phone in your entranceway, which wow, that you're amazing.
I am less amazing. Why not set rules for yourself and then lock that stuff down at a certain time.
Technology gives us the ability to do that.
So we don't really have to change habits, but we can still have the same outcome.
These boundaries really helped me because I'm so unamazing.
And the next thing I don't have the discipline to not check my phone if it's with me.
If it's in my pocket it becomes that distraction.
And I learned this especially because a few weeks ago when I was flying back from seeing Kristen Ziegler, I lost my phone at the enterprise rental car in the shuttle, and I felt so naked without it.
And I realized that that Twitch, I'm waiting in the TSA line and everyone is on their phone.
I'm not judging them.
I just saw myself in them because that's what I wanted to be doing right now is I don't even have any interesting apps on my phone either.
So like, what was I gonna do?
I was just gonna scroll through my text messages maybe or I was going to check the weather app again.
I'm not really sure, but I needed some sort of pacification, And that is the problem, is we have become terrified of boredom.
We've become consumers of entertainment to our own detriment.
And that's the reason that I don't want a TV in the bedroom, nothing I think entertainment is bad or immoral or evil in some way.
I know that if I don't put a boundary there, before I know it'll be 2am and I'm just drooling on myself because there's another episode of Mad Men or The Shield or The Sopranos or something.
What about you, TK?
Yeah, it can be hard to know in the heat of the moment if what you're doing is healthy or unhealthy because sometimes healthy things feel bad in the moment and unhealthy things really feel really good in the moment but a good heuristic is to say, how do you feel when you're done?
How do you feel a day later?
Do you look back on that night and say, I watched a documentary as I fell asleep and I'm so glad I did that.
I feel so good today and I feel good about what I learned and how I was able to relax then keep it moving and keep doing what you're doing.
If on the other hand you say, I'm looking at my phone before I go to bed and it's distracting me and it's making me stay up later than I want, and now I'm sleepy and I'm grumpy, then there might be an opportunity to rethink and reframe how we're doing it.
It's not about this one absolute right way.
Minimalism isn't about moralism.
It's about meaning.
And you get to decide what your bedroom is for and what activities best facilitate that purpose.
One potential option for Jeffrey, because the blue light from the TV may actually disrupt your sleep, and you mentioned your sleep mask that you have in my night stand.
That's one of the things I have. I have a sleep mask.
I have some ear plugs from a company called Ear Peace, not a sponsor, but they're just the ones I've found that work best for me.
Peace as in P -E -A -C -E, Ear Peace.
And like you're rapping.
Well we're going to save that for the private podcast. But I have a few things in my night stand that sort of block out the outside world and keep the the blue light out, but I try to limit blue light at night in general.
after the sun goes down, I don't want to disrupt my circadian rhythm.
And so if you want to still have that distraction because of the gremlins that are gobbling up your mind, Jeffrey, maybe you switch to something like a podcast or audio book, something you can listen to if that blue light begins to trouble you at some point.
I'm feeling real inspired right now.
This is the thing I got to work on.
My husband's always telling me.
Yeah, but hearing it from your husband say it.
You're like, yeah. Yeah, you don't know what you're talking about.
I gotta get the phone out of the bedroom.
You're right. It's a problem.
It's an addiction. I think a lot of us are, we just don't want to admit it.
So, I'm loved that you're sharing this and helping people.
Yeah, I'm feeling it.
My God, I'm feeling shamed.
I'm going to start charging it somewhere else.
I appreciate this. Hi, my name's Joshua.
And I'm a Phonaholic.
Hi, Joshua. How about you listeners?
What's your personal definition of bedroom clutter and what is one thing that doesn't belong in the bedroom for you?
let us know your thoughts in the Patreon community chat, which by the way, you can join for free even if you don't subscribe to our private podcast. Okay, give me something pithy, TK.
What's your personal definition of bedroom clutter and what's one thing that doesn't belong in the bedroom?
All right, a restroom has no room for distractions.
I define bedroom clutter as anything that gets in the way of my ROI.
That's my rest or intimacy.
Those are the two things I've decided, that my bedroom is for, not yours, but mine." And so no television for me because that gets in the way of both of those things.
No arguments for me.
If something comes up and we really need to argue about it, we'll get out of that bed.
We'll exit that bedroom and we'll go take a walk and we'll talk about what we need to talk about until we can come back into that space in a position where we can have rest or intimacy.
And so I think if you think about these things in terms of absolutes, you'll psych yourself out because you're studying what everyone else is doing and you're not exercising your autonomy, which is to say this is my home.
This is one of the few spaces I get to call my own.
I'm gonna decide what this space is for and get rid of everything that gets in the way of what is a distraction to me.
It's a perfect segue into my pithy answer here, is the cluttered bedroom leaves no room for life's most intimate moments.
Intimacy, I'm not just talking about sex and you think about the bedroom and we could talk about that.
And of course, a glowing screen can get in the way of that type of intimacy as well.
But being intimate with someone is being present with them and being vulnerable with them and listening to them.
And so any of these distractions get in the way of that sort of intimacy.
Being here, right here, right now.
All right, that's the end of page one.
We still have an entire switchboard of callers to talk to, Cass.
But first, real quick for right here, right now, here's one thing that's going on in the life of the minimalists.
Our next fams call our Friday afternoon minimalism zoom is Friday, March 7th, at 3 p .m Eastern.
TK, what is fams? Fams is the Friday afternoon minimalist zoom call and it's an opportunity for us all to get together as a family in a laid -back, casual, conversational setting where we can laugh.
We can talk about what's on our mind.
I mean, not only can you ask questions and we answer them, but we as a community can all chip in with our own stories and perspectives.
And we got that exciting little chat box going on where we're sharing links, sharing memes, sharing laughs and stories and recommendations.
It's just a different kind of experience than what we can do on the podcast and even at the Sunday symposium, really fun time.
And people from all over the world.
We had a big German contingent this last time around.
Bam was there. I thought she got hacked.
Yeah, I know. She was speaking German in the chat And it was wild and I just really enjoy them.
It's kind of like one of our live events but it's open to anyone anywhere in the world.
And if you miss it because you can't be there you're at work or maybe you're sleeping at that particular time, that's okay.
You can go back and listen to the recording.
Savvy Dee records the whole thing and we put it up there so you can go back and listen to it.
In fact, go back and listen to that February one.
It was me and TK and Nicodemus in Alabama.
Savvy Dee was there, post -production Peter was there as well.
And then a whole bunch of you, hundreds of you were there.
And we brought some of you up on stage.
We had these really intimate conversations.
People brought their struggles.
They brought their stories.
They brought their tears.
They brought their joy, and everything else in between.
That's the Friday afternoon minimalist Zoom.
It's the first Friday of every month.
The next one is March 7th at 3 p .m. Eastern.
You can find all the details at TheMinimalist .com slash Zoom.
And speaking of live events, you just talked about the Sunday symposium.
you can listen to every Sunday symposium we've ever done, we recorded them.
If you are a Patreon true fan, you can find all 12.
I think we have 12 out there now.
And the 13th one is right around the corner, we have recorded those for you.
If you wanna listen to some of those live events, some of our most meaningful and magical experiences, the one we just did in Santa Barbara was amazing.
Nicodemus will be at the one in April that we're doing up in Santa Barbara again.
We do them in LA. We do them in Orange County as well.
If you want to attend one of those live events they're in every month the last Sunday in Southern California just heading over to sundaysimposium .com to grab your free tickets.
Yes, they are free.
So the every event always sells out.
If you can't make it, or if you don't make it in time to get your ticket in time, don't worry.
Just put your name on the wait list and we'll let you know as soon as some tickets open up.
Malabamba, what else you got for us?
Here's a minimalist insight from one of our listeners.
Hi, guys, my name is Stephanie.
And I'm a Patreon subscriber from Germany.
You might remember me as the control freak from one of the earlier episodes.
I just stumbled across a very interesting blog, which I felt I should share with you.
It is called the healthy compulsive.
So it's basically for everyone who's dealing with obsessive compulsive personality disorder.
And it really helped me a lot into understanding my personality and putting it to use basically.
So, maybe Gary Trosclaire is also someone to consider for being on your podcast. Thank you very much for everything you do and happy New Year, by the way.
Bye. Stephanie, thank you so much for that helpful comment.
I just took a look at this website, thehealthycompulsive .com.
We'll put a link to this in the show notes.
Some great looking articles here.
What is the difference between OCD and OCPD?
and you know what, as someone who is formally diagnosed with OCD, it's also been a superpower for me when it's a healthy compulsion.
Now, it can devolve into something that is unhealthy or distracting, or it's a type of clutter.
It can get in the way, but it can also be transformed into a superpower.
Thank you so much for sharing that.
I've never heard of the healthycompulsive .com, some articles on here, Carl Jung on the compulsive urge to individuate compulsive personality, a new and positive perspective and the healthy compulsive project, taking the wheel of the driven personalities.
A lot of driven people are also a bit OCD.
EK is looking to be funny right now.
Yeah, uh -huh. Uh -huh.
For anyone else has a list or tip or insight about this episode or any other episode, send a voice memo to podcast at TheMinimalists .com right from your phones so we can feature your voice on the show.
Up next, page two and page three.
But first let's take a quick pandiculation break.
We'll be right back.
All right. That's the first 34 % of the episode 480.
We'll see you on Patreon for the full Maximal Edition with Cass Arsen, which includes answers to a bunch more questions, questions like what are the four clutter bug decluttering styles?
How does ADHD play a role in decluttering?
What should I do with the storage bins in my bedroom?
How can I live in peace if my work desk is crammed into my bedroom?
Why does having so many throw pillows, decorative pillows, on my bed make me happy?
Plus, a million more questions and simple living segments over on the Minimalist Private Podcast on Patreon.
Big thanks to Cass Arson for joining us today.
You can check her out at clutterbug .com.
She has a great quiz over there.
Figure out what kind of clutterbug you are.
or understand your clutter personality so you can let go in a way that serves you and that letting go doesn't actually get in the way.
You can also check out her YouTube channel.
It's called Clutterbug.
We'll put a link to both of those in the show notes.
And that is our minimal episode for today.
Big thanks to Earthing Studios for the recording space.
On behalf of Ryanyard Encodemus, TK Coleman, Mallabama, post -production Peters, Spire Jeff and Spire Dave, Savvy Dee on the board and the rest of our team, I'm Joshua Fields Milburn, and if you leave here with just one message, let it be this.
Love people, and use things, because the opposite never works.
And clear all that clutter off your damn nightstand.
Thanks for listening, y 'all.
We'll see you next time.
That's just feeding your greed, oh I bet that you'll be fine without it
