Are you unintentionally talking yourself out of an executive promotion by saying too much?
Welcome back to Speak Up, the podcast for high performing introverts, including you, social introverts, where we reveal the charisma and communication secrets of A-listers so that you get the recognition and the opportunities you have earned.
I am your host, Laura Camacho, your magical executive presence coach, godmother, and strategist.
By the end of today's short episode, you will know the three main reasons.
Smart people ramble and they're not what you would think proven tools you can use to speak with confidence and clarity, and what senior executives specifically aim for so that their messages command attention and inspire action.
So imagine if you've been in this scene, where you're in a room of super important stakeholders.
You have a great idea and it's just something impromptu, right?
That's where this is most dangerous.
Like instead of just speaking up like a mic drop.
You spiral into this five minute ramble and then people are glazing their eyes and looking at their phones and you've lost them and you know you've lost them.
So rambling is going to keep you out of the C-suite, and I've seen it happened many times and I've helped many people overcome this very dangerous communication habit.
There's a reason why people do that.
Some of them are quite surprising.
But first of all, I want you to know there isn't a cost to taking too long to get to the point.
Brilliant, hardworking people People, you're not going to get fired for talking too much.
You're just not going to be promoted to the very top.
It's a barrier to the C-suite because up at the high levels of executive leadership, they're swimming in data, decisions and drama.
They are overloaded and they crave clarity, even simplicity, but they don't need your commentary, except maybe, in a short time, insight that you can give them.
In 2022, Harvard Business Review put out a piece called How Great Leaders Communicate, and it emphasizes that top executives actively hone their communication to be concise and strategic, and it's considered a key skill for influence and advancement.
No surprise there.
Concise leaders signal confidence.
They respect everybody's time.
They drive action.
Whereas if you're just taking too long, people lose attention.
They don't see you as confident.
Too many words to express an idea is the same thing as inflation affecting the currency of a nation.
Too many words compared to the value.
The signal to noise ratio is another way of looking at it.
It is extremely important.
Every word that you waste, It's a second that you're not influencing.
It's an opportunity that you could be losing.
You're going to lose trust.
You're going to lose opportunities.
I can tell you I've been in conversations where they really like someone but they feel like he or she wastes too much time talking.
And so they just are not included because of that.
So don't be that person.
All right.
So why do people ramble?
It's not because you're a bad person.
Not at all.
In fact, sometimes people who take too long, they're actually trying to be more conscientious.
Rambling is not thoroughness, and we don't always need the A to Z explanation.
We don't normally need the history of something.
This is a mindset that is emphasized at the university, graduate school in particular, depending on what your domain is.
But the Academy often rewards and awards taking longer to get to the point.
They say it's because it's more thorough and it's more in-depth.
And maybe it is.
And that can make you think that if you're being concise, that's being shallow.
That is not true.
That's just your fear dressed up as diligence.
Too many details overwhelms people no matter how smart they are.
They will tune you out.
So the number one surprising mistake, or the surprising reason why people ramble, is that they think it's being thorough and it's not.
Another reason, number two, could be fear of reactions.
If I just say it, they're going to come back and attack my idea, this conception that I'm going to dilute the message and it's going to be more appealing that way.
And if anything, it will just backfire.
It's better to get the pushback, get the criticisms, deal with them and keep moving.
But don't think that cushioning your message with too many words is going to be effective, and I think most of you would say it's a habit and maybe one of your parents was a talker and it's just baked in there from childhood and you just want to explain everything.
Maybe it's show and tell you were the star and But people today just don't have time for that.
And the reality is that being concise and being effective takes more thought, more skill, even more time.
It's not being lazy.
It's not being shallow to be concise.
It's actually being sharper.
You're distilling all this ideas and You know that frankly, ideas rarely arrive in our brains in a pristine state.
We have to polish them and edit them to make them really sparkle.
So here's your goal, everybody.
Listen, you want to be delivering value faster.
It's not concise for the sake of being concise.
It's let's get to the value faster.
What is it that you want to propose?
Here's an example.
Let's say that you want to get people to invest more in marketing on TikTok.
Okay, so how do we level up?
I've got three tools.
One is an exercise.
They're very practical.
No fluff to get you there.
These are not theories.
These are tools that are tested to help you shift your thinking, right?
It's not easy to go from surgically concise.
Go to be surgically concise if you're used to taking several rounds.
That's what I've noticed in working with clients will say the thing and then they'll go back and add another layer of detail, and then they'll go back and add a different aspect, and they just do these rounds around the topic.
OK, so before your next important meeting, think in advance.
You don't want to be trying to be concise just off the top of your head.
What is your key message?
What is your key insight that you want to share?
Write it down and you want to start thinking about how could I deliver this value faster?
So thinking ahead about what you want to say is going to help you preparing in advance.
Number two is realizing that you don't need to prove anything.
How much you know what's building the trust is stating what you think they should do and why.
And, you know, back it up.
It's not just you said it, therefore it should be.
But saying it and saying why you're saying that are backing it up significantly.
So that's number two focus on getting that value across, not on proving how credible you are to be giving that advice.
And again, I would start in lower stakes meetings rather than higher stakes.
Because this is a habit you need to build.
You need to build the muscle memory.
Finally, tool number three is an exercise.
And this is going to shock you.
Some of you may know that i sing in a latin choir and i arrived at that choir without any native talent, but i've worked really hard and one of the things that really catches my attention is when i record myself singing.
You record yourself.
You need a stopwatch and a recording device.
Both of those are on your phone.
So you just record yourself like you normally saying something, like you normally do, like making some point, and watch your stop clock and go for 60 seconds and just say the thing.
And then I want you to go back and give the same message in half the time in 15 seconds.
And then I want you to listen to both.
Right.
And you're going to see, oh, it really does sound better.
Even if you're not getting in all the details yet.
You know, think about it.
Maybe it will help you to think about your message being layered.
Like you start with one level of detail and then if they ask questions, you can go deeper.
That tendency to ramble is actually sabotaging your shot at senior leadership.
And you want to speak in a way that commands attention and drives decision fast.
So this is what top executives are aiming at.
These are their goals when they're communicating.
It's number one, a clarity that's actionable.
They know that a useful surprise in the message will make it remembered.
And they know that emotional resonance builds trust.
I'm going to repeat those.
Clarity, that's actionable.
They know that a useful surprise will be remembered, and they know that emotional resonance builds trust.
Emotional resonance builds trust.
You may want to get a copy of my executive presence scorecard, because being concise is one of the elements of having good executive presence.
If you would like access to this assessment, please email me at hello at speakupwithlaura.com.
Put score in the subject line.
I personally will get that to you.
I hope you have a fantastic day and I will catch you on the next episode.
