Are you one of the people who always overprepares for those big meetings, only to freeze up when it's time to speak?
In today's episode, you'll discover exactly how to access your executive presence superpower so that you can speak eloquently even when you're not the expert.
Welcome back to Speak Up, the podcast for high-performing introverts, including you, social introverts where we reveal the charisma and communication secrets of A-listers so that you get the recognition and the opportunities you have earned.
I am your host, Laura Camacho, your magical executive presence coach, godmother, and strategist.
By the end of today's interesting episode, you're going to know why your overpreparation habit might be sabotaging your leadership presence.
How to identify your personal power zone and use it to perform under pressure.
I love that.
And the exact mindset shifts and conversational strategies to handle executive pushback with confidence.
Alright.
Well fortunately, those of you who have seen the video clip know that the memo said to wear pink.
So both Whitney and I are wearing pink.
So I thought that was a nice coordination.
Such a good color.
Welcome to the Speak Up podcast.
Whitney, it's great to have you here.
It's so great to be here.
Thanks.
Thanks for having me join.
Yes, of course.
We don't have many executive coaches on because I want to have a variety of expertise, but I really liked your emphasis on courage and Lately I've become more and more aware that intelligence, which everybody listening, is like basically mensa society, but also highly attractive.
So they have this incredible brain power, but sometimes, because they are asked on some topic which they haven't written a peer-reviewed research paper on yet, that they fear that their answer might not be 100 bulletproof.
It's about preparing differently, but it's also about having courage.
And I know that's a big theme for you.
So what do you have to say on that topic?
Well, let me speak to courage first because-
What I think happens all too often is we get in our own way.
And I think the example that you shared is a perfect one, where we either hold ourselves to such a high standard that we overthink and we feel the need to have extensive levels of preparation.
And I'm a preparer, so I can completely relate.
Like I've had my own struggle on this.
Yes, I like to prepare also.
But the other piece of it is where we get in our own way is courage.
To me, courage is about your willingness to push past the discomfort to bet on yourself.
The reason why I say that is because if you have this implicit trust that you are smart enough, strong enough, seasoned enough to navigate the unexpected that gets thrown at you, then you can move forward with courage, which is understanding that there may be a little risk, a little margin for error or imperfection, but knowing that the value that you bring is worth delivering even in an imperfect state.
Okay, so courage.
What about if you know you're going into a meeting and you're going to present something and you know there is a highly placed individual who doesn't you just know in advance, because you know their position, that they're going to push back against you?
How do we prepare for that?
The first thing is, I think those are the environments where you want to anticipate the objections that that person or the others in the group may bring to you.
And that's where I'm like if you're presenting a slide deck, go ahead and create some exhibits that go behind your main presentation and be ready, because it's not about always having the answer.
I want to be clear about that.
Oh, that's great.
Tell us.
You're demonstrating your thoughtfulness and the depth of knowledge that you have in the topic.
So you may not have an exhibit slide for every objection that comes up, because that would be almost inefficient to do that much work that you don't know if it's actually going to be part of the meeting.
But when you're able, a time or two in the meeting, to say let me actually pull something that I didn't know if you all would want to see.
And you share.
Hey, I'm thinking about this from a much deeper perspective than just coming in here and sharing my idea.
I'm thinking about the business.
I'm thinking about the impact.
I'm thinking about the downside.
And that, I think, lends to your credibility and the depth of knowledge that you're approaching this decision or idea with.
So I think anticipation is really key.
The other piece is a lot of times people say the meeting happens before the meeting.
This is where you want to leverage this.
Now you are certainly not going to other people in that meeting saying hey, we're going to talk about this.
Here's my position.
You know, this fine gentleman over here is going to disagree with me.
Do you have my back?
That would not be a great...
Way to grease the skids.
But it more goes to.
Hey, I know there's a big topic that's going to be discussed and I really would love your input on my line of thinking before going into this.
Right. and you can adjust and tailor your message to be better prepared.
They're everywhere. everywhere, right?
Then I would even be more direct.
Like, listen, I know there's going to be some loud voices against this idea.
I don't want you to have my back just at all costs, but it seems like you see the value of my thinking here and what I'm proposing.
If you could just support me in those moments, that'd be great.
Exactly.
That Yeah, so it can be a very organic discussion.
And if you have it from a place of humility, I think people respect the vulnerability and the care that you have, for you know what you're doing in your job.
Yes, I love that.
So Whitney is reminding us that we can prepare for different scenarios, which I know a lot of you do.
What I would say not is you don't need to show everybody all your scenarios.
I've talked to some people who think that they need to present the scenarios as part of their presentation in granular detail.
And then you're losing like 90 of the people and maybe 100, because you're just giving too much information.
So it's layering your message.
You know, there's the...
The high level, like why this is so good.
And then for those people who need more data or history or something, you can be prepared for them.
But you don't have to make addressing their objections part of the entire presentation just because you think they might come up.
You just prepare in case they do.
Maybe that person is going to be sick and not even be there, right?
Or surprise you.
Maybe they might surprise you.
You make me think about two other things that would probably be valuable to share.
The first is that I think the higher you climb with presenting, especially if you're I always find it's very helpful to gauge what they want to see in that presentation.
Okay.
What I mean by that is a lot of times when you're working at high levels in an organization.
Those individuals are seasoned at making decisions with as little information as needed.
Why?
Because they make a thousand decisions a day.
Right.
So their experience and their ability to synthesize information is It's at another level.
And so we don't want to spend 30 minutes of a meeting sharing information that's not valuable to them.
So it's really simple.
I come into a meeting and I say, I have six slides prepared for you addressing this topic.
I would be happy to start there and walk you through them.
If there is something specific you want to start with Or a way you'd prefer that we have this discussion.
Well, let me know.
And that's when people will say, oh, hey, I read the pre-read.
Or, you know what?
I'm pretty good with this idea in theory.
I want to focus in on this.
And I will tell you, it shows tremendous self-awareness.
And... in business acumen to be able to be flexible in that moment.
Because if you can take an important topic that's supposed to be 30 minutes and you get to the answer in 20 and give someone 10 minutes of time back, that is a huge plus.
Yes, and they will remember you with great fondness.
So you in the moment, like right before hey, I'm Laura Camacho here to talk to you about this topic.
And I have the six slides that covered blah, blah, blah, blah.
Is there a better way or what would you like to most here?
Or is that okay with you?
Or would you prefer a different approach?
Like ask them that in the moment.
And it can just be very casual.
I'm looking forward to presenting this information to you.
I've got about six slides, but I wanted you to just, pressure test.
Is there something that you would like to specifically focus on or a place you want to start?
Yeah.
Okay.
So you're giving them a little bit of flexibility to say I'm actually I don't need to sit through three of these slides.
I want to sit through these three slides because they're going to give you that topic.
The second thing that I was going to highlight is that you don't need to feel pressure to know every single answer.
Nobody's expecting you to.
There are some leaders out there in this world that expect you to know every single answer.
And guess what?
That person will be constantly disappointed because no one.
No one is going to know every single answer.
It is absolutely okay to say, that's a great question.
And let me circle back with you by the end of tomorrow with an answer, because I want to just look at the data one more time and make sure that I have everything as accurate as possible.
But that's a really important one.
So sit tight and I will circle back with you by the end of the day.
Now, the key is actually the follow through.
But.
A lot of times our blood pressure goes up in those moments and we think, how did I not know this?
I prepared.
How did I miss this?
And then, more than anything, our body language.
Our subtle body language shows that we're a little panicked.
So having those go-to phrases ready when you go into a meeting to know okay, I might not know something.
It's okay.
You talk about in your work, something called a power zone for resilience and strategic clarity.
Well, I want to know what my power zone is so I can have more resilience and strategic clarity.
Where's my power zone?
Well, you know, the answer is that not me, but I'll tell you how you can find it out.
Well first, the concept of power zone is have you ever heard someone say wow, that person was in the zone, or they went beast mode?
Or when you have runners that are running a marathon and they're like, I caught my second win.
Yes.
We've all heard terms like that in some way, shape or form.
And I think a lot of times people believe that happens sort of by chance that.
Oh, they just, it's just all of a sudden something clicked and it happened.
And I'm here to tell you, it is typically not by chance.
It's actually intentional that high performers in any space, whether it's business sports music, think about an artist who gets up on a stage and has to present.
Not all artists are these extroverted, love the limelight.
They just love the music.
They love what it does for people.
Their ability to get in the zone where they can be at their best, it's actually a discipline.
And so I often talk to people about self-awareness being the key to understanding how to activate your power zone.
It's about asking yourself a handful of questions.
Now, this is going to seem oversimplified.
I want to say right now it's a process of reflection and really self-exploration, of understanding when you're at your best, which means Who are the people that help me be at my best?
And what is it that they do for me that helps put me in a place where I feel at my best?
What environments?
What type of work?
What am I like at my best?
Am I my most introverted self or my more outgoing self?
What am I thinking in those moments?
What's the inner narrative saying to me in those moments? what's happening around me.
It's really this ability to think back to times where we almost look at ourself and go whoa.
I really showed up that day and reflect on what are the factors that help us get in that state of mind.
Because it's a state of mind where then the body follows.
I call the things that you'll identify with those set of questions your activators, your power zone activators.
And then you also want to look at the flip side, which are your depleters.
So here's a great example.
Let's say that you know you're going into a meeting and you have that person that always disagrees with you, the person we just talked about.
We have those people and they always deplete me.
Before I go into the meeting, I'm thinking, oh, this person again.
But that is life.
That is just life.
So if I know, going in, I've got that person in my audience.
I am going to make sure I'm really in a space where I think The first time that he or she just barks at me and, you know, says something unreasonable.
Here's how I'm going to respond.
Here's what I know in that moment is going to help me rise above and be at my best.
So we have to know things like the environments.
Just like when I'm podcast like this, I always block the 30 minutes before because I am not at my best when I am back to back to back.
And then I just jump on a podcast.
So true.
Okay.
So it's the reflection of what makes us at our best.
And it could be like I said environments habits routines, the stimulus around us and what really flips that on its head and brings us down.
And what you will eventually end up with is a lot of awareness and then a short list of things that helps you activate that power zone.
I'm reading the minds of the people listening, because I know a lot of them and have worked with a lot of them.
And I'm thinking, oh, they're going to say that they can be challenging.
They're going to say, Laura, what Whitney was saying.
Of course, I'm super comfortable and great when I'm with my team, but not when I'm in that room with the senior leadership or the C-suite or the board of directors.
But what you're saying is that it's more that that response that I just posited is just a superficial way.
That behind that, why are you so good with your team?
Because you're relaxed and you're focused on your purpose.
And maybe you drank some water before.
I mean, if you were to do a deep dive into all the macro factors behind that led to your excellent team meeting that's consistent every week, you would find elements that you can just pull out of that scenario and apply it to other scenarios, right?
Yeah, absolutely.
And here's a great example of that.
A lot of times, people that are comfortable with their peers or their team feel like I have value to bring.
I have more experience.
These people have respect for me because we've worked side by side.
And then the mindset shift that when they go up, especially to people that they have very little interaction with, I have to prove myself or they're better communicators.
They have more knowledge on this whole topic than I do, because I only see one little component of it.
And that's a way of thinking.
If you notice, those are two different ways of thinking.
And so having an empowered way of thinking is something that you can create, and but you got to be willing and open to do so, right?
So you're not going to create it because I said so.
You're going to say, wow, Whitney does this with clients for a living.
What's the little baby step that I can make about maybe really breaking down?
What are the factors that allow me to come in with my head held high and feel confident with my team that are different, with those people?
And so what you know is a depleter for you is is maybe presenting or being around people who have more knowledge than you or who are at higher levels.
Yes.
Yeah.
And so you have to figure out what's the offset to that.
And my guess is, every single one of your listeners has been able to have equal business stature or win over someone above them, or they wouldn't be a leader, right.
Exactly, yeah.
So sometimes we gotta go back to those moments and go, you know, I've been here before.
Right.
So how do I start to evolve that thinking to have that confidence?
And if for nothing else-
It's because you have to believe that you got to where you are for a reason.
So this is just trusting that and again getting out of your own way and showing up with a bit more confidence and command.
But what about the mindset in particular?
Like, how can we get in the best mindsets when we're in situations not that you know, not the day to day where everybody here is a high performer overachiever?
But we want to expand our zone of being relaxed and adding value and not having brain freeze.
So what's the mindset that you would suggest to us?
Yeah, I think one of the best things we can do is focus on what is actually proven and that is happening around us, versus what we're building up in our minds.
So let me give you an example.
There's a lot of times that people go in, they get tapped on the shoulder to join a big meeting.
Hey, you're just the expert at this.
Come, come present it to our board.
We want to be behind you.
And the mindset in that moment is, gosh, like who am I to be in this meeting?
And what if I mess up?
I'm going to totally let my boss down.
And we start down this pathway of the build of all things negative.
If you actually just press pause and go back.
This person told you you're the expert at this.
Saying I would love to have you in that meeting is more like saying I need to have you in that meeting.
So I trust you.
I believe in you.
And I know that some people might say, that's a stretch.
You know, my, no one ever says that to me.
People don't have to say it.
They're not going to say it.
Yeah.
Right.
Right.
They're not going to say it.
Their actions are saying we think you're good enough to put you in front of our most important stakeholders.
And that's what's actually being said.
Not what's in our mind.
You have to stop and say okay.
All these thoughts in my head.
What evidence is there to support that all these negative thoughts are real?
Because our inner critic or the negative narrative, however you want to look at it, it is important.
It does throw up some red flags that we need to listen to.
Yes.
But I will say to all of the listeners that think, okay, I'm going to try this and it doesn't work.
It is just like exercising any other muscle or building any other habit.
When you get out of shape and you start going back to the gym, you think to yourself why did I think this was a good idea?
I'm not coming back tomorrow.
And then you come back and you suffer through it and you go through that process and slowly you get more energized about going.
It gets easier.
You're less sore the next day.
And then you're the better version of yourself.
And that's exactly what happens with the mental mindset practices that I'm suggesting.
So this I want to ask you, because I know that you are also a former athlete.
And I have this thinking that high performers I don't think it's just my thinking, it's probably a research finding that that inner critic you just mentioned, that that is what both an ally and an enemy, because it is the inner critic that helps us to go above and beyond and to come up with another scenario.
And that's why we're over performers or overachievers, because we have that inner critic that says but what about this?
And but what about that?
And yet it's just so ironic that that same quality that pushes us to achieve more can hold us back when we most need to share that expertise.
Isn't that crazy?
It is.
It is.
It's the same concept as your strengths can become a weakness is how I like to say it.
You have somebody that is they are a perfectionist, they're A-type, They care deeply about their work.
They want to make an impact.
So they prepare, prepare, prepare.
And then what happens?
They have no balance because they're working all the time.
They feel underappreciated because they put in 20 hours to a 30 minute presentation and their leader's like hey, that was great.
Thanks for sharing that.
And they're like, what do you mean?
Do you know what I did?
Right.
So we create this problem because we've let our strengths teeter into the point where they're no longer serving us.
And so you know, I always tell people you kind of got to get to the root cause when you have a behavior.
And I think a lot of times we feel it before we can actually formalize the words and say eloquently where hey, we're overpreparing to the point that it's like torture for us and it's adding no more value, because I just did 10 appendix slides and I got to none of them because I overprepared.
Right.
Right.
At the end of the day, you're thinking, you just have that thought like something fell off, or I just feel a little unsettled.
And what do we do?
We just, oh, well, it's probably okay.
And we just keep going about our day or night.
But those are the moments you gotta say, what is this thing that's pulling at me a little bit?
And when you just take a few moments to pause and think through that, you can usually point your finger to this presentation.
Preparation is just completely frustrating me.
Why is it frustrating me?
You know it's obviously Yeah, I'm taking.
Why am I spending so many hours and what's the payoff?
And you can always ask yourself, is the effort that I'm putting in worth it?
Is it going to yield the value?
Because sometimes if two more hours gives you 5% improvement on that presentation...
Well, you could be spending that two hours doing something else meaningful.
Right, right.
Not an exercise of insanity.
Right.
Kind of perforated for the 16th time.
So it's really about understanding what's driving the behaviors that we're doing.
And some of them are going to be great.
Sometimes we're going to say you know, this is inefficient, but this is going to the board of directors.
So I'm willing to take that hit this time.
But it's knowing how to stop and pause and evaluate and then move forward the best way possible.
Well, this has been so helpful.
And she's even giving us some templates of Things to say when people are pushing back against us in a meeting.
So I'll let you close this, Whitney.
Is there anything else you would like to tell our audience of highly attractive, high-performing leaders?
Yeah, well, the great thing about the problem often being us is that we can control that.
And so some people are so disappointed when I say sometimes we have to get out of our way.
Sometimes we have to evolve our habits and our practices to best serve us.
The good news is you have control over that.
And so it should give you the energy to say, I can really help myself. get to that next level.
And I'll leave you with this.
My mantra has always been dream the dream, build the plan and bet on yourself in big ways.
And it's very aspirational.
But the reason why I've always hung on to that throughout my career is there has to be this willingness for you to first say this is what I really want to do with my career, with my life.
And it's not until you're willing to put a stake in the ground and have that dream that you can then actually work towards making it possible.
And so I hope that every one of your listeners walks out of this podcast and is able to say here's one thing that I'm going to do differently to help me achieve my goals.
I love that.
Thank you so much.
It's been delightful and super helpful.
And I'll say to the people listening, you're welcome.
I thought that was a great conversation.
My absolute favorite part was everything on activate your power zone folks.
The power zone, that state of peak performance and recognizing the depleters and the things that you need to have in place to perform at your best.
Now, if you're feeling stuck, like you might actually be your biggest obstacle because of your inner critic, that stupid imposter syndrome or too much preparation I have an executive presence scorecard which you can do some self-assessment and get clear on, among the four pillars of executive presence, where you're strong and where your opportunity is.
If you would like that executive presence scorecard, Simply email me at hello at speakupwithlauracom.
Put the word score in the subject line and I will send it to you personally.
Have a delightful day and I will catch you on the next episode.
