If you're an overthinker, someone who analyzes and constantly questions anything and everything, this episode points out.
How certain overthinking behaviors are bringing you down and what to do about it.
Welcome back to Speak Up, the podcast for high performing introverts, including you social introverts where we reveal the charisma and communication secrets of A-listers so that you get the recognition and the opportunities you have earned I am your host, Laura Camacho, your magical communication and executive presence coach, godmother, and strategist.
By the end of today's quick episode, you will know why your brain is sabotaging you with endless loops of self-doubt The real cost of mental rehearsals that never match reality. and how to channel your analytical nature into influence instead of anxiety.
Let's get started. So just imagine you're in this executive leadership meeting, your heart is racing and you're scripting inside your brain, the perfect thing to say to add massive value.
But by the time you're ready and you're sure that this is the right thing to say, then everybody's moved on to the next topic.
If you spend more mental energy worrying about how you come across than actually contributing, We need to talk about this silent career killer that no one talks about.
It's overthinking, and it can feel like a constant invisible battle.
I know. I have it, and I talk to people every day that...
It's a struggle, right? I'm going to give you to start off with. seven behaviors that indicate overthinking because I know some of you are painfully aware and some of you are may not realize that this behavior is actually overthinking.
So number one is scripting in advance. Doing a little bit of that is fantastic.
Fine, but when you script out a presentation or what you're gonna say in a meeting word for word, that's turning you into a robot.
You do not want to do that. That is overthinking.
Number two, Overanalyzing, like constantly saying, oh, should I say something?
Should I not? What if I sound unprepared?
Like if you're constantly questioning yourself, you're missing your chance to contribute.
Number three, my personal favorite, replaying conversations.
Like you could remember this awkward phrase you said in 2019, but you forget the praise that you got from someone yesterday.
I can replay conversations from way earlier than 2019.
Number four, second guessing. You're like, oh, is this email too harsh or is it too soft?
And if you're rewriting it five times, like... a certain client.
All of this comes from clients and myself.
I'm not going to mention names, but You don't need to spend that much time on your emails.
Maybe some of them, but not all of them.
Number five, avoiding the spotlight. Like staying quiet in meetings because you would rather be quiet than say something that's not polished enough. so you don't say anything and let me tell you that's the completely wrong approach two more number six is asking for constant feedback and Yes, feedback is the breakfast of champions and we need it.
But there's such thing as asking for too much feedback, being needy.
Be careful that you're not asking for feedback all the time.
And finally, number seven, indecision. If it takes you forever to decide where you're going to take your team for lunch or minor decisions like that, That is another indicator of overthinking.
And the weird thing is that overthinking is part of your success formula, right?
It's why your work is such good quality. but it's costly.
And the more experience you have, you need to learn to rely on that by listening to your intuition, which is not Just this woo-woo feeling.
It's actually informed by all your years of experience. that is going to be your superpower.
But what happens, what I'm hearing about every day is people who are over engaged in their own thoughts, constantly analyzing every angle.
And the result is it's missed opportunities.
It's not that people are talking about Why doesn't Vivek speak up more often?
No, they just assume if you don't speak up that you don't have anything to say.
But when you don't speak up because you're overanalyzing or if you do speak up and you sound like a robot because you've scripted so much. you're missing opportunities and that can even contribute to your burnout because you're adding to your workload which is already massive but these mental gymnastics of going you're going through for every key interaction are taking time and energy.
So people think of you as a workhorse or they may even say, oh, you're just brilliant at execution. which is great for the company, but it's not great for your career.
If any of this is resonating, you are not alone, but it doesn't have to be this way.
And why are you doing this? It's a limiting belief.
You think you're not good enough. You think that there's like a better answer, a better way.
A better angle. You have a fear of saying it the wrong way.
Like you're seeking this perfection. in your speaking, which is not possible.
If you're not putting your foot in your mouth at least once a year, you are doing it wrong.
You... need to have the confidence to speak up and to think in terms of being directionally accurate. even if you don't have all the details.
And another thing about overthinking is not only, you think it's preventing mistakes, And it may prevent some, but it's gonna cause others because it takes you too long.
And it's also preventing connection. and we've talked about this many times that your promotion once you get to senior leadership is not just results it's about who knows you who feels good about you, who's going to be your ally, right?
So people who are sounding like robots and robots trying to sound perfect, they don't connect.
I'll give you an example of this with a client.
I just adore him. He's the best. He has a... pretty important technical job at one of the top tech companies.
He was interviewing for an internal position and brought to me his slides. and he would prepare three or four variations of each slide and He, in the beginning, was scripting the whole thing because it was so important, scripting what he was going to say on each slide for a job interview. he did that and he didn't get it I'm sure because he didn't sound confident and then he got over it like he just has the bullet points and he started talking instead of reading or acting, right?
He started acting like himself and then he did get the role.
So the people getting ahead, they're not smarter than you.
If anything, they may not have your IQ. They may not be as careful, but they're willing to speak first or speak up early and adjust later.
They are cautious. constantly making critical decisions based on incomplete information, which is the key indicator or it's a key job that a senior executive has to do.
They never have all the information. So if you're overthinking, you're not being present.
People don't feel you there. They feel the robot version of you.
On the other hand, your analytical power, your analytical nature is very valuable.
So you need to channel it. It's not that you're going to just try to have it burn out part of your brain.
It's just putting a pause, like stopping, like allowing yourself some thinking and then going with what you have.
You've got to decide what you think is best.
Again, like I mentioned earlier, that intuition works.
What is your body telling you? What does your gut instinct say?
Go with that. And that way you're not going to be forcing yourself to be someone you're not.
You have this amazing intuition because of all these years of overthinking.
Just imagine how well trained. your brain is and your decision making ability.
Like you have trained yourself to be pretty remarkable.
So now it's, time to just let go. And say the thing and stop waiting for things to be perfect.
So now I'm going to recap quickly the seven behaviors that indicate overthinking are script in advance, over analyzing in the moment, replaying conversations, second guessing, avoiding the spotlight, asking for constant feedback and indecision.
Those are the things that will not get you fired.
Heavens no. And I don't even think you would be let go unless it was something drastic that But you're not going to make it to senior leadership because you don't exhibit that confidence that you can handle things and make really good decisions with incomplete. information.
So to get over this, you need to first of all realize that you need to put a break, like only to rewrites for any email unless it's a mission critical, like something just massively important.
But listen to yourself. If you start listening to yourself and acting, then that intuition will speak to you. better it's amazing we'll just feel you'll feel like yes speak up yes that is what you want to develop And if you would like help with this, that is why I created the executive presence mastery system, which is a proven framework. with specific techniques to quiet the overthinking and to channel your analytical gifts into influential communication. and I teach these tools that will help you break free from analysis paralysis and step into your full potential.
So if this sounds like something you'd like to explore, go to the show notes.
There's a link at the top or you can go to my website. and schedule some time so we can see if this would be good for you.
In any case, have a fantastic day and I will catch you on the next episode.
