Have you ever held back on a brilliant idea or even a comment on somebody else's proposal?
Because you're terrified of criticism? Learn how to take criticism in a way that makes your voice stronger, not silent.
Welcome back to Speak Up, the podcast for high performing introverts, including you social introverts. where we reveal the charisma and communication secrets of A-listers so that you get the recognition and the opportunities you have earned.
I am your host, Laura Camacho, your magical executive presence coach, godmother, and strategist.
By the end of this short episode, you will know five introvert friendly techniques to handle criticism without shutting down. and great examples from none other than the President and Chief Investment Officer of Alphabet and Google,
Ms. Ruth Porat, how she uses transparency and calm authority.
And all of this to bring you a secret skill that you as an introvert can easily master to stamp out your fear of criticism and catapult your career.
Let's get into it. There's a secret skill that can kill your fear of criticism that I hear about in our coaching calls.
And this is straight from the mouth. of a finance A-lister, Ruth Porat, President and Chief Investment Officer at Alphabet and Google.
But listen to this. She came to tech from banking after 27 years at Morgan Stanley.
Morgan Stanley is a great bank. But that is not what comes to mind when you think about tech innovation.
And she just spoke this week. at the Pennsylvania Energy and Innovation Summit, where she was sharing Google's latest plans to increase energy abundance and to train Americans with skills needed to thrive in the AI-driven economy.
So Ruth Porat is a phenomenal example of introvert leadership. and I'm following her, I recommend that you do.
And if you've ever held back your brilliant solution in a meeting, terrified it will be torn apart, This episode is for you.
So we've all been there. You know, you've got something that needs to be said.
Could be something new. Could be feedback.
But it's not. everybody, but there's somebody in there that you fear that are attacking, tearing apart what you're going to say.
And Here's the truth. Your reflective nature as an introvert is a superpower.
And with the right skill, you can crush that fear.
First of all, you have to realize that it's not about you, it's about what you're saying.
So we're going to get into that. the super skill that Ruth Porat uses to transform criticism into opportunity and help you speak out with more confidence and own any meeting.
Here's an example from Ruth Perot. I told you I would give you examples.
Remember, she's coming from banking to Google.
And of course, as a banker, she's looking at the numbers and she is pushing for financial discipline to streamline costs and this is in 2015.
So cost cutting was not in the air the way it is trending today.
So she was criticized as stifling innovation.
And of course, that's easy to do when you come from outside of an innovative industry.
So instead of getting defensive, she held transparent town halls and used data to explain her strategy.
And listen to this. She even invited feedback to refine it.
So that's brilliant. And I call this skill refining. strategic clarity that's a combo of using data which you're you all are good at Deep listening, you should also be good at that, and calm authenticity, and that will transform your skeptics into allies.
You wanna, of course, have your vision clear.
Here are the five steps to building that strategic clarity So that when your ideas are criticized, and they will be, and that's a good thing.
We don't want groupthink. We don't want, oh.
If Laura says it's her way or the highway, no, and you don't want silence.
You know, that's the worst is that because they don't care. or they fear criticizing you.
All right, so number one, and this by far to me is the most important, is to prepare in advance.
Most of the time in a senior leadership meeting, you're not just going to fly by the seat of your pants.
You're going to think about What are the priorities of the people in the room?
What is the goal of the meeting? What are... potential objections to your point of view you know is that your ideas get criticized for costing too much money or timelines seem too tight.
So be prepared. You don't have to show all your cards that you've prepared. for pushback but you should definitely be prepared another way to do that besides just thinking about it and jotting down some objections is also to get one-on-one input from somebody outside the project, a colleague, somebody maybe that's not even on your team Like, how do you think this is going to land?
So preparing to speak. is going to help you.
Don't think that people just are born telling the CEO where to go with their idea.
No, that takes skill for most people. All right, so number one is preparing in advance and I gave you some ideas on how to do that.
Number two is to reframe criticism as a chance to collaborate.
You do not want to be a my way or the highway kind of person.
That is limiting. So see the criticism as a chance to collaborate.
See it as this is your idea. You want people to critique it.
You want criticism. people to make it better and let's pretend that you didn't have time to prepare you You're in a meeting, there's something that needs to be said and you say it and you get pushback.
Have your response in your back pocket. You can just Say, that's a great point.
Do you have any ideas on addressing it? Or you can just restate their complete objection. to make sure that you're understanding it.
In my experience, restating the objection is the first step to reframing it as collaboration and not just cutting you down, okay?
Most of the time, severe criticism that feels like personal, it's usually not.
I mean, it could be but it's usually not.
All right, so number two is to reframe criticism as a chance to collaborate.
Number three, start small. It doesn't matter where you are, some of you, for your criticism except from certain people.
And some of you are not ready for criticism from anyone.
So wherever you are, Just take a baby step outside of your bubble of comfort and And practice, practice in a lower stakes meeting, practice restating other people's objections to what you've said.
That will build momentum. That will train your brain to expect, anticipate the criticism and deal with it.
Of course, Ruth Porat at Google, she's prepared and she's offering concise advice. data-backed insights in her meetings, gradually building her presence because not everybody was that excited for an outsider to come into such a strong leadership position at Google.
Commit to Wherever the edge of your comfort zone is, stepping out of that comfort and handling the criticism.
All right. Number four, leverage your listening power to diffuse criticism.
So... Again, restate what they've said.
That shows that you're engaged. It calms the critic down.
It gives you time. Practice paraphrasing.
I think that The practice of paraphrasing and casual conversation is going to make this second nature so that when it feels like the spotlight is in your eyes...
You're just automatically paraphrasing. Oh, so you're concerned about the budget overrun.
Oh, because this is more expensive than you thought it would be.
When people feel that you understand their criticism, that's already building the bridge to resolve it.
That's the first step. All right, so number four, leverage your listening to diffuse criticism through paraphrasing.
And finally, follow up. Because we all know that no matter what you say in the meeting, in the moment, when you leave the meeting, that's when your best ideas are going to come.
Happens to me too. So follow up with an email.
Reflecting on what you said in that meeting about X, I just remember there's this additional data that supports my idea that you may want to look at.
This allows you to continue the conversation with clarity and no pressure.
So send follow-up emails after meetings to amplify your voice.
That's an easy... Easy step to build your strategic clarity.
So to recap the five actions, my introvert, highly attractive superstars, Prep, prepare, prepare for criticism.
Reframe it as feedback. Start small. Prepare the reframing muscles.
Build that reframing muscle. and follow up with an email so that's going to give you massive help in totally reframing criticism as collaboration, and that should help you speak up more often.
So if you still are like, oh, I don't know if, you know, you're still feeling that maybe there's somebody who's kind of rude. and aggressive or maybe several people, you really want help with this, I have a scorecard for you.
I just made it. I'm so excited. It's the executive presence scorecard.
It's brand new. I just finished it. There's a link in the show notes, but listen to this.
It's based on the same four pillars of executive presence. as in the executive presence mastery system.
So that's going to help you pinpoint your opportunities as far as executive presence goes.
Follow Ruth Porat if you don't already. Have an incredible day and I will catch you on the next episode.
