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What if kittens played the glockenspiel?
What if unicorns were real?
What if you could fly or travel back in time?
We welcome you to What If World.
This is What If World.
Hey there folks, and welcome back to What If World, the show where your questions and ideas inspire off-the-cuff stories.
I'm Mr. Eric, your host, and today I am joined by Miss Lynn.
Hey, everybody.
Hey, Miss Lynn.
You kids might be listening and you might already know what's about to come.
Miss Lynn and I have been practicing improv together for years.
And I practiced it for a long time before even starting this show.
I love it.
It's kind of where this show all began.
And sometimes it's just wonderful to jump into the unknown with a fellow storyteller.
So Miss Lynn is going to give us a question.
And then, or I don't know, maybe sometimes it's more than one question, but we're going to get a question from Miss Lynn and then we are going to improvise fully a story for you.
And then afterwards, you know, add some sound effects and music to make it sound fun.
But fully, fully off the cuff story here today.
OK, so I have two questions.
Phoned in questions.
The first one is from Felipe.
Let's hear Felipe's question.
Hello, my name is Felipe Gonzalez.
My favorite thing is your podcast and Fred's dog.
And my latest question was what if JFK worked at the mail service but he kept popping the bubble wrap?
Thank you so much, and I love your podcast.
Thank you.
So that is Felipe's question, and then we have a question from Sonali.
Hi, my name is Sonali, and I really like shopping.
My question is, what if Fred the Dog became trouble-freeer?
An international pop star.
Thank you.
I love your show.
So, okay.
Being an international pop star.
When the bubble wrap is being popped, I thought was, you know, a good combo?
So that's how I came to join up those two questions.
Ugh.
Felipe, first off, thank you so much for your question.
And it's really lovely to hear that you love our podcast so much in front of the dog.
I love bubble wrap.
I mean, who doesn't?
I know we need less plastic in the world.
I'm just hoping one day we can do like a biodegradable bubble wrap.
That's my dream.
Sure.
And Sonali, years ago we answered one of your questions, but we mispronounced your name.
We said, I think, Denali.
Denali.
Rather than Sonali.
So thank you for letting us know. and also for sending in like lots of ideas since then.
I'm so glad we're getting to answer one of your many wonderful questions.
Yeah.
So here we go.
We're going to find out.
What if Fred the dog drum roll, please.
Became an international pop star and JFK worked at the mail service but kept popping the bubble wrap?
If you haven't heard, Fred the Dog and JFKat now live in a tuna fish cabin on the moon.
It's not quite as gnarly as that might sound when you first envision it.
These are cans of tuna fish that are stacked up like bricks to make their home.
And then, of course, you know, when they get hungry, JFK or Fred, the dog will crack one open and enjoy.
But they have four million cans of tuna.
So it's they call it a cabin.
It's practically a castle at this point.
Oh, JFK, I got kind of a stomachache.
I mean, we've just been eating only tuna fish for weeks.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I need to eat something other than tuna.
Yeah, it's too much tuna.
So naturally, Fred the Dog and JFK needed to find a job so they could buy themselves a variety of food.
Boom.
They used their teleporting ball to bring them down to What If World, right straight to the grocery store.
Hey, uh, grocery store person, give me a job and also all of your food.
What sort of job are you looking for?
Asked the grocery store person, who happened to be a robot?
My name is Chip.
I am an alien with a big mustache.
Chip the alien robot with an extra big mustache made of multicolored wires twisted up at the top.
Whoa Chip sorry, you probably said something relevant to what's happening, but I just really need to bat your mustache with my paws right now.
Jojo Flavica, you really shouldn't do that to someone who you're trying to get a job from.
Personal space.
Personal space.
You think cats know a thing about personal space?
Meow!
Oh, boy.
Yeah, you know, we're not getting this job.
We're not hiring.
And after a few more instances of Fred and Javcat not being able to get jobs, that we're just going to kind of, we're just going to kind of fly through here because, short story, they ended up at the post office.
Hello, this is Queen Beignet.
I am the Queen of the Post Office.
What can I do for you?
I want a beignet.
You want a job.
A job, not a beignet.
I mean yes, you do want a beignet, but later start with the job.
Yeah, i wanna hey why am i the one having to get a job?
Fred, i have the most important job of all, which is, which is Uh, coaching you into how to get a.
Okay, can I have a job too?
Ordinarily, I would say no.
But however, you happen to be in luck because we have a huge backlog, so...
Come and start packing these packages.
Okay, lovely.
And into the back room they went.
Fred the Dog and JFKat put on these tidy little aprons and got these cute little clipboards that could hang from their collars.
Okay, so once we get these packages, this one says, uh, uh...
Fraggly, so I guess it's going to like Fraggle Rock or it's meant for puppets.
Anyway, so let's just throw this down this cave.
I think I should have given you a reading test before I let you take this job.
It says fragile.
You need to wrap it.
Here, here are the supplies. for the fragile packages, including this bubble wrap.
Are you sure it's not fraggly?
It's so much fun to say.
It is fragile.
Okay, so we gotta wrap these up with some extra bubble wrap.
And she rolled out a big, big bolt of seaweed bubble wrap.
Yes indeed, in What If World we can have plastics that are biodegradable?
And this was a giant, just sheet after sheet on this roll, enough to wrap up all these packages so that they could get safely to their final destination, no matter how fraggly they were.
I know it smells like seaweed snacks, but don't eat it.
Fortunately, you've caught me at a moment where I have had too much tuna.
So this is the one time I'm not going to eat the fishy thing.
And off Queen Beignet went for a moment.
Yeah, all right.
Well, hey.
Oh, it actually does... Oh, this is sort of... Why'd they make it teriyaki flavored?
It's like they're really, really trying to tempt us to eat the seaweed.
Don't eat it!
Okay, I won't eat it.
I'll just use my tongue to wrap it around the things.
Whoa!
What was that?
Did you hear that, Jamcat?
Oh, I did.
Suddenly, JFK's eyes were as wide as saucers.
Oh, no, I've seen that look before.
JoJo, Fluffy Cat, we finally got a job.
We're going to be able to buy fruit and vegetables.
Our poo won't smell like the bottom of the ocean anymore.
I don't care.
I just need to...
And JFK went around popping all of the bubble wrap, sheet after sheet of it.
Wow, that's kind of a hypnotic rhythm.
It makes me need to move my body and my tongue.
Oh yeah, I'm getting into poppy seaweed.
And I'm gonna ride a noble steed.
It's a seaweed state and it rides through the sky.
Okay, Queen Beignet, it's fine.
It's fine.
I'll get my stamps.
What is happening back here?
Oh, hey, cats.
Cats.
Hey, cats.
Hey, Jamf Cat and Fred, what are you doing in the back room of the post office?
Oh, hey, Miss Lin.
No, it's cool.
We are cool cats because we're singing and dancing and making bubble pop music.
I think we invented a new kind of music.
It's called bubble pop.
I mean, I really dig it.
Can you do some more?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course.
This one's called, Can You Do Some More?
I think I can write another song.
I'm going to sing and let us sing along.
We're going to sing into the stars.
Into the stars.
Hey, speaking of stars, I'm Mr. Business.
This is my voice in this episode, and I don't want to hear any other thing about it.
Mr. Eric can't always keep track of all the different voices.
I know I sound a little like Dancy Pansy right now.
You're clearly not a pair of pants with no eyeballs, Mr Business.
No, I have a full torso on top of these pants. and fortunately also a shirt.
Mr. Business, don't you think that this music that JFK and Fred are making is amazing?
Yes, in fact, I'm going to steal, I mean... What?
Help you become famous.
Wow, that sounds great.
I can't think of anything that could possibly go wrong with this.
Don't sign anything without letting me read it first, Fred.
Well, we should test her reading skills first.
What does this package say?
Fragile.
It says fragile.
She can't read.
She doesn't know how.
It's obviously Fraggly.
Okay.
I'm taking the unpaid role as your manager, Fred.
I'm gonna insist upon that.
We cut to one month later.
No one in What If World has gotten their packages, but everyone in What If World has got new music packaged just for them.
It's great that we had all that biodegradable bubble wrap that we could turn into pop star albums and share your bubble pop with all of What If?
World, making you international bubble pop stars.
No, it's pretty cool.
And now I have to wear sunglasses all the time.
And Miss Lynn's glasses on top of my sunglasses.
Because she kept reading things wrong.
And now I have to wear sunglasses all the time because Fred stole my glasses that I can't see.
Those are prescription.
They are prescription for cool, Miss Lynn.
Okay, I'm going to go hang out with Dancy Pansy since neither of us can see.
Hey!
It's me, Dancy Pancy!
Listen, I know I sound a little like Mr. Business, but I'm just here on business!
No, you can't be here on business!
That's my thing!
Get out of here, Dancy Pancy!
Awww!
You know what?
I think he'd look really good in sunglasses too, though.
Where would we put them?
I'm not sure yet.
We'll figure it out.
And so Fred the Dog and JFK abandoned being international pop stars and became international eyewear sensations.
But we just need a good jingle to sell these eyeglasses.
Who could we hire to write such a song?
They'd have to be an international bubble pop star or something.
I'm sorry, are you Dancy Pansy or Mr. Business?
Miss Lynn, I know we became so internationally superstar famous that we abandoned you and stopped hanging out and also stole your glasses.
But now we need your help to write a book.
One last pop song that will help sell our new cool glasses.
And we've came with a peace offering of your glasses back.
They're only a little entirely broken.
Oh, boy.
What do we want people to know about these glasses?
They're super cool, right?
Yeah, they're super cool.
They're made of seaweed.
Everything's made of seaweed now.
We want everything to be biodegradable.
That's, you know, that's... Okay. biodegradable glasses it's really a better idea than it seems you know how glasses break all the time well these glasses just turn into slime you'll be seeing wonders before your eyes And they come wrapped in bubble wrap.
Bop bop.
The end.
The end.
Wow.
Wow.
Miss Lynn, I'm not sure if we're getting better at this.
I think that's the whole point.
I think it's just every time is so fun and different.
You know it's not, and like that's what I try to tell people when they talk about doing improv.
It's like, it's not really quote unquote better.
It's just it just feels easier.
Right.
You just jump into the silly ideas more and you learn to listen more.
OK, so this story, it was silly.
A lot of What If World stories have like really strong lessons that we work really hard to craft for you.
And then sometimes we improvise and you get a little bit more silliness.
What did you?
Did you find anything anything challenging in the improv today, or anything that felt like easier than usual, or anything surprise that surprised you?
I mean, I think I am getting better at just like going with whatever the first thing is that comes out of my mouth, because I think I have a tendency to.
You know, to want to overthink things to sort of solve the whole thing at the beginning.
Yeah.
And like the journey of the what if question.
Sometimes when I do this, kids are like, we need to answer the question.
And I'm like.
Have faith that we as a group are going to get there.
This is the journey.
If we just started with the answer, that is a different way.
If you start with the idea, if you just do the entire idea right away, then you have to yes, and that
So sometimes it's actually better to start somewhere different and know that you are getting there.
Know that you're going to somehow yes, and your way to that, because it's kind of like you have this shared secret.
You and your improv partner and everyone who's listening also shares that secret.
You knew that we were going to become pop stars.
You just didn't know exactly how.
So, yeah.
And I also noticed Lynn, that like you've gotten really good uh, with your character pops too.
You were just like you have, you have a catalog of characters now, because we've been doing this for a while and, just like me, you're like jumping into them and then you like you brought yourself into the story, which was a perfect move uh, for that moment.
So Yeah, these are just the little things that you get, the gifts that you get so much better at giving each other when you practice together with any kind of regularity.
Miss Lynn and I only really do this once a month, but it all adds up.
Yeah.
Well, it was real fun, and I'm a little bit sad that we are not going to be able...
IRL to hear any of Fred and JFK's bubble pop music.
I mean, they got to do an album one day.
One of my dreams, and I'm just saying this in the secret kind of way, is I'm moving to New York.
I want to do a What If World musical.
That's one of my dreams.
And so maybe one of them will be a bubble pop star song or a song about slime glasses.
You never know.
You never know where the story of the musical will bring you.
Anyway, thanks, Lynn.
Those were great questions.
Thanks, Sonali and Felipe.
I hope you all enjoyed your story.
Grownups, you can get ad-free episodes of What If World and monthly bonus episodes.
We have 40 of them now by going to whatifworldpodcastcom slash support or just clicking those support links in the show notes.
So thank you for listening, and Queen Beignet, would you mind taking us out?
Keep wandering.
This is What If World.