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Hey there folks, and welcome back to What If World, the show where your questions and ideas inspire off-the-cuff stories.
I'm Mr. Eric, your host.
And today we have an amazing guest, an Emmy Award-winning writer for TV shows like Peg and Cat Waffles and Mochi's Restaurant On Blue's Clues and You and Dr Seuss' Redfish Bluefish.
He's an original cast member of Disney's Frozen on Broadway.
If you heard that Higa song, that was him.
Am I saying that right, Higa?
Higa.
Higa.
Okay.
Well, you're the professional.
Thank you. is the Tony nominee for Some Like It Hot, the musical.
But to our family Kevin is best known as the book writer and lyricist for the amazing Dogman, the musical, and Cat Kid Comic Club, the musical.
Please welcome to What If World, Kevin DeLaguila!
Yay!
Woo-hoo!
Hello, hello, hello.
Wow.
That was like one of our longer intros.
You have such a storied career.
You've done so many different amazing things.
How does it feel to be where you're at right now?
Oh, it's wild.
It's really fun.
You know, I'm always doing something different and new, writing or performing or directing.
It never gets boring.
Yeah, exactly.
Exactly.
And I feel like more and more artists these days have to be flexible, creative and exploring new paths all the time and you're just making it happen.
Uh, you're just an inspirational figure at our home and uh, folks it just.
I know we usually do plugs after but like, if you've seen the dog man movie, when you get to listen to the musical, if you haven't already, it's it's almost like you know, it's almost like reliving that movie and all your best favorite dog man scenes.
If you're familiar and if you aren't, you know oh, you're gonna love it.
Uh Kevin, we always get started with a what if?
Question from one of our listeners at home.
Are you ready for it?
I'm as ready as I'll ever be.
Yeah, I feel that same way as well.
Okay.
Hi, my name is Emma.
I like to have cat Fred the dog.
My question is what if Fred the dog found a ball that could make him teleport anywhere in?
What if world?
I love your show.
Bye.
Wow.
All right.
Well, thank you, Emma.
Okay, so fred the dog he is a pug with a tongue too long for his mouth, an old dog.
Then we have jf cat who uh, former president of what if?
World uh, he is uh, he mostly specializes in long naps and knocking things over.
If you had a ball that could teleport you anywhere where, where's some place that you might want to go?
I'd want to go to the moon.
Oh, I would want to go to the bottom of the sea.
I would want to go to the top of the highest mountain.
I'd want to go places to see things that I would never normally be able to see.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That makes sense.
That makes sense.
When you travel though, are there any like bugaboos for you?
Like things like challenges of traveling, or you know the security lines, getting through security at the airports and um, Sometimes you forget something, forget to pack your toothbrush or something important like that.
Yes, this is great.
We have so much to work with.
So we got a nice travel story in front of us.
Let's find out.
What if Fred the Dog found a ball that could make him teleport anywhere in?
What If World?
Fred the Dog and JFK were, as you know, On the hunt for a home.
In a very recent story, we found out that JFK got turned into a half-rocket ship cat.
But, you know, you can't really live inside of a rocket ship cat.
Mostly because of the dander, I think.
So they're still really continuing that search.
They're wandering around What If Worlds.
And they just kind of needed a little bit of a distraction.
Yeah, you know, sometimes shopping is soothing for me, said Fred the dog.
If only there was some magical kiosk that would just pop up out of the.
Oh there, what is said?
JFKat.
Hey, who's this guy at the place?
I'm glad you asked, little doggie.
I'm selling balls.
What a coincidence.
I love chewing on balls.
I got tennis balls.
I got bocce balls.
I got inflatable balls.
I've got beach balls.
I've got every kind of ball you could ever imagine.
I'll take your most inflatable and most poppable ball, please.
Okay, one inflatable poppable ball coming right up.
And there you are.
Well, yes.
For me, like, we've been really looking for a place for a long time.
Like, I think folks at home are getting bored about it.
It's just the travel is hard.
I mean, I don't know.
Do you have a ball solution, a ball-based solution for that?
Okay, listen here, friend.
I shouldn't do this because I'll get fired from my kiosk job.
But I do have one incredibly special ball that I'm going to give to you.
Now, this ball, it glows, it sparkles.
It lights up magically, okay?
It's a magic ball, but it's going to give you exactly what you're looking for.
Here it is.
It's so beautiful.
And you did say that you were going to give it to us for free.
Yeah, this is, you know, it's just been sitting here waiting for a special somebody.
And it seems like you're that special somebody.
So here you go, little doggie.
Enjoy.
This is absolutely phenomenal.
I uh, you know, I just need to whack this ball off of the kiosk because it's just sort of my thing, so just don't mind me.
Okay, what are we in?
Some sort of trans dimensional tsa, like we're in this space between dimensions.
It seems like we're mid teleportation, but that.
But we have to go through the security life for the next next next, come on in, next stop.
Uh yeah uh, hi.
Yeah, you're going through that, you're going through security.
Yes yeah, we we got.
Where is your destination, dog?
Maybe we will go, we could go, could start off by going to like, the top of a mountain, maybe.
The top of the mountain.
Which mountain are you looking at, Doug?
Oh, there's well, there's really only one mountain of note in uh, what if world it's about whatever it is it's?
Uh yeah, of course, of course.
Yep, do you have a uh, a passport?
I've got a paw port.
Was that gonna work for you?
No, that'll work.
I'm over here, let me stamp it okay.
Oh, that was my paw.
Okay, sorry about that.
Sorry, that's uh just.
You know, i think a paw point stamp too, though.
Okay, here you go and okay, There you are.
Wait, do I have to check my luggage?
Oh yeah, no, you gotta put that all on the conveyor belt.
It's gotta go right through.
There's no way you're getting through unless you put that on the conveyor belt.
JFK, where did this luggage come from?
We have been homeless animals for months.
Of course I have luggage.
It has all of the Faberge eggs that I plan to knock off of the shelf once we've found a home.
That's nice.
That's nice.
That's very nice.
Okay, put it in there.
We'll take a look through the x-ray machine here.
Oh, nice eggs.
Yeah, thanks.
Those are real nice.
I have absolutely exquisite taste in things I'm going to break soon.
Yeah, no, those are really nice.
Okay, you can come on through.
And through security they went.
Uh, thanks, security person.
And then what's gonna...
Okay, this mountain smells like garbage.
Where did you two come from?
Yeah, so we're kind of like in the apartment hunt or house hunt or, you know, whatever.
I know Hungry Bungry lives somewhere on this mountain.
Yeah, Hungry Bungry's over there.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, but we haven't met you before.
No, no, no.
Nobody's met me.
I live here on this mountain.
I've lived here for 40 years.
Having lived on top of a mountain of trash for 40 years, do you recommend the experience?
Oh, no.
It's the greatest place.
I wouldn't be here for 40 years if I didn't love it.
The smell.
Take a nice whiff of that, huh?
Yes.
Oh, that's a good stink.
I really do love a good stink.
Yeah, the odor just fills your nostrils.
It's lovely up here.
I might just need something slightly less stinky or more like a fish stink.
Oh, yeah.
No, no.
The fish side is on the other side of the mountain.
You just want to go over the top there.
You'll get to the fish area.
It's really fishy smell.
It's disgusting.
You're going to love it.
I'm going to take a shortcut.
I think if I just reach out with my extra long tongue and squeeze this ball while thinking of stinky fish smell, we'll go someplace that we're both going to enjoy.
Yeah, you do whatever you need to do.
Whoa.
Blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub.
You don't have to make blubs.
We're at the bottom of the ocean, but we can breathe just fine.
We're imaginary.
There's, like, seashells here, and the sunken city of Atlantis we've just discovered.
Oh.
Wow, are you some sort of merfolk?
More of a, like, octopus-y kind of person, but, you know, you can call me whatever you want.
Well, we just love cephalopods, whatever you want, and it's so nice to meet you.
It's great to meet you, too.
Here, shake one of these tentacles I got.
Yeah, I shake them off!
You got a tentacle in your mouth!
Okay, one tongue shaking eight tentacles is a very strange sight.
Uh, but, uh, you know, it's now forever burned into my memory.
Octopus, is the tuna hunting good around here?
Oh, it's the best.
You can't find better tuna hunting anywhere in the entire sea.
But you definitely want to coax them with something.
I find a nice song, a really nice tuna song.
Seems to be... Okay, well, let me see, uh...
Any tips?
The loudest and the highest sound that you can sing usually really detune a lot of that kind of sound.
Fishy time.
Get in my belly.
It's fishy time.
And it would be so magic if you would really stink too.
Bubble.
Oh, look, it's tuna fish coming out of the woodworks.
You know, but they're not in cans.
I don't know if this is going to work for me.
You want to go somewhere else then, looking for something that's in a can, I mean...
You're not going to find anything like that down here.
We need to, you know, think outside the box or outside the planetary sphere.
Oh.
I'm going to just sit on this ball one last time and just kind of think outside the box thoughts.
Merperson, sorry, Octoperson.
Whatever you want to call me.
That's good.
Oh, yeah, sorry, whatever you want to call me.
It's been so nice meeting you.
Thank you.
It's like I can see the whole what-if world from here.
Oh, yeah, we're on the moon, apparently.
I actually kind of like this because, no matter where I am, it feels like I'm just laying on something.
You can pretty much nap while you half float in microgravity.
Oh, look, there's a cannery.
Yeah, you didn't know there was a cannery on the moon, of course.
Where else would they put it?
Cans.
Cans.
Who wants some cans?
Hey, hey, hey.
Hello.
So we actually need two different kinds of cans.
Oh, you're looking for cans, are you?
One that's tuna fish.
Yes, tuna fish cans.
And one that is a home, preferably with a removable lid.
Like a giant sunroof.
Oh, I see.
You're looking for a can to live in, and you're looking for a can to eat some tuna fish out of.
We've got a lot of cans, but they're mostly for recycling.
Let me take a look at this one we got.
Let me see what we got in the back.
I'll be right back.
Okay, i'll be right back.
They have a really good recycling program, but they say aluminum is infinitely recyclable as long as you clean it out, you know.
And then you got to put the lid inside the can and then you got to squeeze the can closer, the lid doesn't get out, and then, like turtles, don't get their heads stuck in the cans.
I guess, take good care of your cans, folks.
Okay uh, speaking of cans, this is your lucky day.
We have uh, A lot of tuna fish cans.
I actually didn't realize how many.
So I'm not sure if you want like a million of them.
Is that enough?
Is that going to be enough for you?
Maybe two million?
Three million?
Four million?
I mean, I can load it up right now if you want them.
You know what?
We will take four million cans of tuna fish.
I think with that many cans, we could probably make ourselves like a can fort, you know?
Yeah, no, no, sure.
And then we don't need one giant can.
You can use them as bricks and make yourself a tuna fish cabin.
At last.
Our long search is over.
We will live in a tuna fish cabin.
And all of our friends will be able to come visit, because we just have to throw this teleportation ball down to them.
It's perfect.
Because when we are feeling antisocial, we just don't throw the ball.
Well, I'm really happy for you guys.
And, um...
That'll be $5.
I only have five parlors.
Will that work?
Well, normally I wouldn't do this, but you know what?
I'm going to say yes, because you're so nice.
And I like that one's tongue.
Well, then I will give you an extra long, stinky tongue hug.
And I've only eaten three cans of tuna fish, so the smell should be pretty.
You know it's going to be bad.
Okay, all right, I'm back.
Oh, that was worse than you prepared me for, but...
Uh, payment accepted.
Thank you.
Enjoy living in your tuna fish cabin.
And with that, Fred the Dog and JF Cat started setting up their tuna fish cabin on the moon.
But they had a few friends to invite for their housewarming party.
And thus they threw the ball down to What If?
World, and suddenly there was a kiosk salesperson, an octoperson, a man living on a trash mountain and the canned salesperson.
This is all probably the best party we've ever had.
As long as you all don't mind eating.
Only tuna fish.
It's really the only hors d'oeuvres we have.
Now, I love tuna fish.
I love tuna fish more than anybody.
This is great.
Oh, no, it's wonderful here.
It's really wonderful.
Thank you for having us over.
And then each of you just need to pay us 5 for the party, because we owe a little bit of money to you.
Oh, time to go.
Time to go.
Time to leave.
Yeah, I can't.
Just a little short, you understand.
I just don't have it.
Didn't really bring much with me, so...
Take care.
The end.
All right.
Whoa.
Kevin, I was like, this is the first time I think that a guest has done more voices than me.
Oh, I didn't know what I was supposed to do.
No, there's no supposed to.
I was in my glory.
And then I called back all the characters, and you character popped into each one of them.
You are amazing.
My mind is blown.
Oh, wow.
And this has been really an ongoing problem for Fred and JFK.
They don't make the best roommates.
They have trouble paying their rent.
They keep getting kicked out of places or not finding the right place.
So thank you for finally giving our friends a home.
So Kevin, we've talked a little bit about the exciting things that you've worked on in the past.
Are there things that you're working on in that people should get excited about too.
Well, if you're looking to see Dogman the Musical, or Cat Kid Comic Club the Musical, or a musical version of the book, Click Clack Moo.
I wrote all of those things and they're all on tour going through the country right now.
So you can look up on TheatreWorksUSA, TWUSA.org, I think.
And you can find out whether they're coming near you and go see them.
Our kids have been begging us to take them.
We're so excited.
And you've listened to the albums.
We have albums of the Dogman musical and the Cat Kid musical.
So you can listen to them on your favorite streaming service.
Yes.
And just a little tip for a lot of our listeners.
I know we have a lot of Yoto users out there.
So we bought the album on Qobuz, Q-O-B-U-Z.
And then we were able to download them onto a Yoto card.
So then our kids can listen.
It's like having their own album.
That's great.
And so they are listening at their leisure whenever they want, which is pretty much all the time.
They're all stuck in my head.
The way you invert rhymes, you know, you have like the challenging part come first sometimes.
And so the rhymes are so unexpected.
The villain songs in Dog Man, the musical, Pete the Cat are just glorious songs.
And there's this line in Cat King Comic Club about Chubbs McSpiderbutt.
Yes.
Who grows a spider abdomen when he is bit by a spider.
But the line goes, Chubbs McSpiderbutt.
That's my real name.
It's just a weird coincidence.
Just every...
Every time I hear it, I cackle anew.
You're such a funny and genuine person.
And I'm just so honored that you've been on our show today.
Well, thank you for having me.
It's been really, really fun.
So it's my pleasure.
All right.
And, you know, I mean, this is a ways off.
But for all our EU listeners, there is going to be a European Union tour of the Dogman musical starting this summer.
Right,
Yes.
End of July, beginning of August.
Yeah.
Dogman is finally coming to Europe.
I hope you all see these shows and check out these albums.
And just thank you again, Kevin.
Thank you.
Thank you for having me.
All right.
Bye.
Bye!
Folks, I'm going to include some info in the show notes.
But just a reminder that you can listen to Dog Man the musical, Cat Kid the musical, wherever you listen to music.
And if you want to see where those shows are touring as well as Click Clack Moo, you can go to twusaorg.
I'd like to thank my guest, Kevin Del Aguila, Karen O'Keefe, my co-creator, my producer, Miss Lynn Craig Martinson, for our theme song, and all you kids at home who know that travel can be tiring but it can also lead to amazing new discoveries and connections.
And until we meet again, keep wondering.
Hey there, folks.
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