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Hello and welcome back to the psychology of your 20s, the podcast where we talk through some of the big life changes and transitions of our 20s and what they mean for our psychology.
Okay, hello. Hello.
Hello. This is Gemma.
This is also Gemma.
This is a third Gemma.
This is Gemma. Which Gemma?
That's the real Gemma.
Which one? I don't know about that.
Who is the real Gemma?
Okay, if you guessed then you are a very good listener of the podcast.
I am the real Gemma, but I do have three amazing friends on this episode.
Would we like to do some introductions for this episode of Girl Talk?
I think Erin should go first.
She's the most seasoned podcast A listener B guest.
Hello, good day. It's Erin again.
It feels like yesterday I recorded my last potty.
Also a Girl Talk. Also a Girl Talk back again.
I was just so good the first time, totally didn't derail the whole episode at all in any way shape or form.
And if you didn't listen to that episode, you should go and listen to it.
It's great. It's a great episode.
I really love that episode.
I listened to it on my back right about the other day.
So Erin has been on the podcast twice before most recently on Girl Talk.
This is another Girl Talk, another girl's trip because I in my mum's words cannot stay away from my camera life and my camera friends.
Which there's nothing wrong with.
Love your mum, bye.
But she's probably right.
But also love you guys heaps.
So we've got Erin, we have another guest who has also been on the podcast before.
Hello, it's me, Phoebe.
Who is it? How do I introduce myself?
Just say one fun fact about you.
What's your favourite colour?
What's your ore colour?
My ore colour is pink.
Baby pink. But yes, I'm here with my friends and we're in Noosa.
Can we say that? Yeah, yeah, we're in Noosa.
We probably should have said that to begin with.
Before we introduce, maybe we'll introduce our final person, which would be Kate.
And then we can talk about what we're all doing here.
Kate. My ore colour is blue.
Yes, I love it. Wait, what did I say?
Your ore colour is aquamarine.
I'm for Marines. So like light blue for the ocean because we're on a beach holiday at the ocean.
We are. And Kate was on my second episode ever of the podcast.
Like about a year ago.
So I'm old news. Okay.
Old news. Old news peeps.
So basically we are all here on a beach holiday.
That was Phoebe's idea.
And we thought, let's get away from all the cold and dreary wetness of where we all live.
We need some sunshine.
We do need some sunshine.
Not an ad. I don't want to leave now.
No, I don't want to live either.
I think I've ruined my months of winter ahead.
Yeah. We've only been here for like, it's a 48 hour trip.
Avid boat riders. Yeah.
Ride all the boats.
We have ridden in at least two boats while we've been here.
But like twice on one of them.
And on both occasions, one of us was drinking.
I would like to say I was not drinking and driving on either boat.
On either boat. I've been on the, a little shout out to Heaps Normal Beer.
Not an ad. But if you want to sponsor us.
Heaps Normal Alcoholic Free Beer.
Fantastic. Delicious.
I have been on the alcoholic beer by the name of Asahi.
Do you know what I do?
I know it. And on the wine of the brand Prosecco.
On both of our boat experiences.
So what are we doing on this potty?
Excellent transition feeding.
Wow. Heaps on track with three, three meters foot.
There's four women in this room.
All of us have had one glass of wine.
All of us have had, except for Phoebe who's on the Heaps Normal, have had a little glass of wine.
And I thought for this incredible episode of Girl Talk, we would answer some of the Hey Mummy.
Oh, flex mommy. Hey mommy.
I don't know why I said that.
Call her mummy questions.
Hey mommy. With Abby Chapioed.
Yeah. Also Abby if you want me to come on your podcast, we'll totally do it.
But we were gonna answer some of the flex mommy questions, the reflex questions.
And we did some of these last night at dinner.
Yeah we did. How was dinner last night?
Did we enjoy it? Yeah.
It was yum. One thing of this trip, we have spent a lot of money.
There's nothing wrong with that.
I'm not gonna say names.
I really like the ambiance.
Food was good, but it didn't, you know like when you walk away from places you're like wow, wow.
Like that was good food.
Yeah but it wasn't a wow.
Yeah. The cocktails were a wow.
The cocktails were a wow.
The price, the bill was a wow.
The bill was a big wow.
I think the cocktail was a fucking wow.
The food was a wow.
I think because we walked out and it was just like a very quiet street.
Yeah we were like oh, that was like a come down.
It was like a come down.
Yeah yeah yeah. I think that is where the wow factor tanned.
Also they kicked us out after like an hour and a half.
We couldn't even just like.
Couldn't really chill.
Yeah. So don't go to that unnamed restaurant.
Yeah we would have like had dessert.
Like had a big. You didn't even ask if we wanted dessert.
Yeah. That is, do you reckon that's why you think the food.
It was just a wow. It wasn't a wow.
Yeah. That's why. I feel like for me that's what it was.
Yeah dessert always is like cherry on top.
Yeah. Yeah. So we basically at dinner last night, our darling Erin brought these cards that she really likes and they're a series of like questions that you wouldn't normally ask people that are really thought provoking.
Shout out to flex. Flex mommy.
Okay we cannot do more than another shout out.
I think we have to.
I think we're using her cards.
Shout out to her. We've done it.
Lose the sunshine, stay star.
Those are just things that we like and we're just acknowledging it.
Yeah. They're really good on her website.
She's got like three different versions.
So this is the question pack number two which is the first one's like the basic one and then the second one's like more critical.
And it's cards with these questions on them.
So if you do like these questions that's where we got them.
But we thought that to add some structure to this episode we'd ask some of these questions.
Do we want to get into it?
Yeah we do. Okay well be prepared.
I'm sure we have some juicy answers.
So to kick off the first question I pulled this one and I thought it'd be really interesting.
So tell someone what your first impression of them was and how it's changed.
And I thought we could all answer for one person to our right as a kind of get to know you for the people who are listening.
So Kate what was your first impression of Phoebe?
Okay, Phoebe. My first impression of you.
Well I definitely met you through Jem and sort of, oh gosh, I don't even remember.
I don't even remember.
I do remember you invited me to your birthday as like a little additional person.
Yes. Yeah. I think my first impression of you was just, I don't know, super lively, super chatty, super fun to be around.
And you know those sort of friends that you meet you're like oh that'll be like an awesome social friend to someone that I like engage with on a social level and just have a good time with.
But then I realized you're also really fucking into spin class and the scene up and the friendship has just grown.
And I think now yeah when you like dig a bit deeper with friendships and yeah sort of cut the surface and you end up with really good friends.
It's very nice. Because we're definitely, we're definitely mutual.
We're definitely mutuals and now we're friends.
I always felt really happy that you invited me to your birthday.
Yeah I was like oh I'm a little plus one but I've come along and I'm good time.
It was really fun. And we all got hammered.
That was really fun actually.
So Phoebe what was your first impression of Erin?
So I sort of knew Erin through uni.
Like we'd done like.
I don't know when we first met.
It was well technically it was when we traveled overseas for uni.
That was when we first met?
No but I knew like we'd interacted very briefly like you know like in uni classes where we did a similar degree both environmental studies and.
I will. It was. Can I quickly preface this by saying I have a terrible memory.
Yeah. So I do not remember.
Like it was a small cohort.
Like it was everyone at the school knew each other.
Yeah yeah. Like I knew of you and so from there we both like ended up going overseas.
Yeah yeah. And that was a very I feel like it was a very intense experience.
It was a lot happening.
A lot of just craziness.
So what was your first impression of her?
Well it was just it was an intense experience until under this intense like an overseas experience.
It was a lot. So we're in Fi.
Can I say where we were?
Yeah yeah. We were in Fiji.
We went to Fiji for two weeks.
For two weeks with a group of like 20 people.
20 people. And we stayed in multiple different places.
Yeah rural places. There were a lot of strong characters that we met.
Very strong characters.
Interesting characters like the permaculture man.
Yes. So I think because it was just such a like we'll throw you into this random country and you're going to be meeting all these crazy people and doing all this crazy stuff.
You got to know people very quickly.
So yeah that was my first impressions was like you're very genuine and like up clear who you are because it was like we were in the middle of Fiji together.
And I would be sitting there like I'm in it.
Yeah it wasn't like it was like very like five minutes in and you were.
Yeah already clicking.
Clicking. Yeah. So cute.
Because that's what it was.
That's an experience.
We were in a very intense experience.
Yeah. What a lovely first impression to have of someone.
As genuine. In the tropical waters.
We went snorkeling and what else did we do?
We did lots of fun things.
We walked down a river.
Oh yeah and we were swearing at the miners who were mining in the gravel river.
They were mining like sand.
Yeah and we were all recording them and we were like these miners they're going to report you to the Fiji government.
The Fiji government couldn't give a single flying ship.
Because some students actually went into the office and were like what are you going to do about this?
And they were like we don't care.
We don't care. So it was really interesting.
But it was beautiful.
It was beautiful. Beautiful beautiful field trip.
It was. And it was it was kind of nice actually because I'd been on a field trip before that to Vietnam and this one was really chill.
So you actually got to know people.
We were on Fiji time we woke up at 10.
We played a lot of banana grams.
Oh I love that. That right.
I really associate that game with you Erin.
Banana gram. Yeah yeah I always play it with you.
I've only ever played it with you.
Erin what were your first impressions of Gemma?
Oh my god you know my first impressions of you.
I know. I'm that fucking incredible because they would be terrible.
But let's be kind of.
I can't because I'm a genuine person.
You are. But also this is my podcast.
This is your podcast.
So I just kind of. My first impressions on Gemma were.
I know mention any political parties.
No you can't. No I'm going to tell us right.
One morning I was eating my breakfast at a college minding my own god damn business.
And two tables down for me this girl waltzes in with like three people like trailing after her and she goes oh my god I just got a Mecha package.
And she proceeds to unbox her fucking like huge Mecha order.
On the table. Okay side note to be fair Mecha does really good gift boxes the way they wrap their things.
But I think she's opening my package.
Yeah I think she's opening my package.
This is personal pressure.
And so she's here she's unpacking everything like going to her skincare.
Everybody's like around the tables like ooeing and aring and like getting really really excited.
And she's standing there like you you were like dressed really nicely like you had full face of makeup on you have like really nice clothes on.
Honestly kudos to you I remember that vividly in college always makeup.
You like always. Because I was insecure about my skin.
So you'll be like and we're taking it off.
But you looks like bright and you have like the full outfit and whatever.
And I just remember sitting there being like this bitch like unpacking her little Mecha order.
She thinks she's hot shit.
And I was like I know I remember this and I was like oh what a fucking wanker.
I love this. I had two wholesome like that.
No no no. Did you know this?
I've told you this before.
I was a wanker. I was seriously like what a wanker.
Like this girl has so much money.
Like one of the Melbourne girls like she's got like all her cash.
She's got a little Mecha order coming in every month.
Like and everybody around the table like I just remember really some people who yeah yes.
Yeah anyway um and they were just like oh my god like girl like the bronzer is so cute.
And I was like okay this is what.
And then I learnt because I was telling somebody about this and I was like oh yeah this girl like what the fuck.
Like a bit of a bit of a poser.
She enjoys love. You were bitching about me.
I was. Enjoying getting her new outfit to the moon.
But the thing is about like the thing is like when you enter the kitchen of college it's like an auditorium.
Yeah it is. It's like the fucking gladiators.
And like she'd like put on this show for everybody like unpack it.
Are you sure I didn't just get a package?
I'm sure you just got a package whatever.
But like me at like 7am in the morning and I'm like fucking like a little um like goblin.
A little gremlin over my like breakfast.
Get an absolute Australia posters.
I get excited when a package happens.
So like what was it?
Anyway but yeah you were talking about how I had so much money.
I was like oh this girl whatever.
And then my friend goes yeah and she's a climate change denier.
And I remember like when my first time I ever talked to you we had an argument where you were like climate change isn't real.
And I was like I don't think that happened.
No this happened. This happened.
But I've never thought that.
Maybe I was just pulling your leg.
No I think you were 110 % were.
I think you were 110 % were pulling me.
And I fully believed you.
And I was like I cannot believe she would say something like that.
And I think like like James said to me at the time he was like I'm pretty sure like you know like she was joking.
And I was like no she wasn't.
Like babes I don't think I'm ever not believing climate change.
No I know but I think you were I think you were 110 % pulling my leg.
But I was like so angry and I was like oh this girl.
But now we're like I know.
Fingers feets. Fingers feets.
So there we go. But I would say you're a very different person.
I would say you're a very.
You don't even like me anymore.
I'm a bitch with lots of money.
No. It's a climate change denier.
But I also I'm like I'm really interested because I have a very negative outlook on people.
So like I will judge somebody within like first 10 seconds.
But you also change.
But also like I judge somebody within like first first 10 seconds.
So and to see that at college I was just like oh.
So when you meet someone you see the worst of them.
When I meet somebody I try really hard to find the best of them and they can be the worst person ever.
But this is why I think I'm a good judge of character.
I'm a terrible judge of character.
Yeah because I always see the worst in people.
Do you think that's me now?
No you're a very different person now.
I would say personally.
But I think I've gotten a mecca package in a while.
Who do you think Kate?
You've known Jem since?
Well I'm not. Jem's not to my right hand side.
Yeah well I'm gonna give my first impression of Kate.
And since I'm a wanker.
It's gonna be like really.
It's gonna I'm a climate deny.
I'm not gonna pull any punches.
And I love mecca packages.
So mecca send them for room so I can open them.
Mecca mecca mecca. Aaron you kind of really sold me for doing an amazing unboxing.
Everybody was. They were very excited.
Maybe we would say shout out to Mecca.
Hello okay so thank you Aaron.
I love you. I love you too so I'm not offended.
I'm not. But my first impression of Kate was I met Kate for the first time at Moose Heads.
Really? Yeah and she was with someone at the time and I remember one of our mutual friends introduced me to her and was like oh this is Kate Bolter.
And I was like I saw you and I met you and I was like wow she's so pretty.
She's never gonna. Pretty ugly.
Yeah pretty ugly. I was like she's so pretty and I was like she's never gonna be friends with me.
I was like I was like four and a half years ago.
I know here we are.
But I was like oh she's so beautiful.
And you're kind of quiet as well.
Because you didn't really know any of us.
Funny story there's actually a photo of us from that night.
I remember. In which me and another someone I was friends with got a photo and in the background is Kate yelling at the car.
Oh my god that's incredible.
We gotta find it. But please.
It's kind of a relic now.
And then post it in the show notes.
Yeah. But then I um I don't know what it was but something about that first impression I was like yeah I kind of like made up my mind.
I was like okay I guess I've got to be friends with her now.
I was just like I'm gonna be her friend.
And so the second time I met Kate I um.
Throw it back to our first podcast episode together.
Yeah yeah actually if you want to hear that it's a full story.
But basically I um ambushed her.
Staged. I staged a run -in to meet her.
I saw her coming up the stairs of B &D.
Staged a run -in with her mum.
And um so that we could meet.
And then the rest is history.
Jim pursues people.
I do. She does for friendships.
She does. She pursued me.
Did you pursue Eren?
You pursued me. I think it was pretty mutual.
Oh that's what you do.
You found ways to like like not incidentally but like find opportunities to hang out with somebody when you enjoy hanging out.
Then you're like I'm gonna find an opportunity to see that which I am.
Which is an admirable thing because you know that like you know with people that you potentially want to start a really nice friendship with.
And you see good qualities in these people that you like you know.
Because you could miss out on so many friendships if you didn't see it.
Indeed. And here we are four and a half years later the pretty girl who was really quiet is now sitting tomorrow.
In no sir. In no sir.
Definitely not quiet.
Definitely not pretty.
I think the question though is interesting because the whole point of the reflex question is you don't think critically about him and then talk about the question blah blah blah not just the answer itself.
But I think first impressions really interesting.
Yeah. Really really interesting.
Well I think your your idea of.
Can you judge your book by example.
Come on yeah. That's that common quote.
Or like actually take time to get to know people because it's like Erin.
Well no no but I feel like fair enough.
I was probably a bit of a brat back then.
Definitely. But now we know each other on a much deeper level and I feel like all I don't think any of those things that you thought about me would be you would say in my main attributes these days.
Absolutely not. Maybe I'm still a bit of a wanker.
No. Sometimes. But what a great way to introduce everyone to the podcast.
So I feel like this next one will dig a little bit deeper.
What stereotype do you completely live up to.
Completely live up to.
Oh my gosh. Yeah. What's a stereotype about a kind of person.
We have to say about ourselves.
Yeah. So about the kind of person someone would perceive you as that you're like actually that's correct.
Oh. Can I go first because I actually thought about this a lot.
So I feel like there's a stereotype of like white girls like Taylor Swift.
And I really like Taylor Swift.
And I sound and every time I'm like and I'm actually a huge squifty but I feel like and I say that with absolute confidence because I love her.
Even like this morning who was I one of you was like looking over my shoulder and I was like oh my god Taylor Swift was seen in public for the first time in three months.
But I feel like it's such a thing of like oh my god like basic white girls who like Taylor Swift and recently I've come to embrace the fact that I am a basic white girl who runs a psychology podcast and who listens to Taylor Swift always in the car.
So that's my stereotype.
Isn't it a good one.
I like that stereotype.
Yeah. You do live up to it.
Yeah I do. Would you if she came to Australia would you see one of her shows.
I actually was talking to someone about this the other day.
If she did a tour in anywhere in the world I would probably bankrupt myself to go and see her.
Every day I wake up and one of my first thoughts is about Taylor Swift.
I have a Taylor Swift tattoo like I'm obsessed.
Who else has a stereotype that they live up to.
I'm sure that there's like many different versions of me.
So actually we recently interviewed someone for my house.
One potential housemate and this person just like everything that I do in my life like I'm interested in like what I studied sort of work area interests.
They said everything that I do and I was like I'm just not an original person.
They were like oh I love cello and I love and I study in Vyro and I like going outside.
That actually I'm not gonna say where I work but like that actually had done an internship for one of our stakeholders that I work with.
Oh wow. And I thought oh my gosh okay yeah and it just there was just too many similarities and I was like right and she even had her nose pierced on the same side that I have my nose pierced and I thought.
She had blonde hair.
Yeah I was like okay love you.
You're not coming in this house because I am the only She could have been a really good housemate but you're like I'm definitely not.
No no that's what they say you know like that's saying if you met yourself you know in public you kind of hate them.
To be fair and all my housemates said they were like they were like she like no harm to this person no no negativity towards her but they were all like she didn't see she they were like there's something off.
There was something off.
Do you think she was trying to be you to get me?
I don't know it was very weird.
Did she stalk you? Yeah.
Very similar. But I think I do live up to some stereotypes like um I don't like I'm sure there's many there's many like I'm I was one of many types of people that looked and acted and thought like me at the school of environment.
Yeah um yeah that's really interesting.
Hey but guys if Phoebe ever dies we know where we can um find ourselves.
Or also another thing like for example high school I was just like the super perfectionist overachieving teacher's pet kid like and I think that lives up to a big stereotype and all of those stereotypes are true.
Yeah interesting. Kate do you have one?
I think I sort of do I think it came about during lockdown and everyone was like oh you know really struggling to maintain a routine and exercising that.
I fucking live for the morning routine.
Wake up 7 am. Open you know my blinds at the cold or that girl.
You are that girl. I fucking love a morning routine like I love I love a bit of like I don't know yoga or pilates in the morning that whole thing my 30 minutes you know shout out yoga with Adrienne.
Um and I love like I don't know my overnight oats is prepared in the fridge for me the night before.
You are that girl. It makes me feel put together and like ready for my date like I find love that girl.
And I find it easy to incorporate into my day to day life.
I find that so. For some people like it's a hard routine to implement but I'm like I live for it.
It's not that it's a morning routine like I wake up relatively early yeah however however I don't have the overnight oats.
No I don't have I don't like having routine I like doing something different every day.
I set my alarm for a different minute every day.
I just I could not do that I I don't know I think I'm like I if I especially for like work or something limited time me to get up and do it all in that time frame that I have like I like I just I go to bed at random times I wake up at random times I eat random food every day like you look up to the that girl
the that girl. Or just the you know I don't know it was just such a lockdown thing people like lacking motivation and things I was like I need to do that so I kind of stay a bit sane.
Yeah you should create a TikTok and become TikTok famous.
Hey guys if one of us was gonna be TikTok famous it'd probably either Phoebe or Kim.
I am TikTok famous not TikTok famous I went viral once.
And you're your dog.
My dog went viral. And it was hilarious.
Erin what's a stereotype about you can I give one for you?
The red head was a bit of a temper.
And her aura color is red.
Yeah we define it. That's true.
That's true. I know it's so true.
I'm such an angry person.
Erin today there was a child walking in front of her when we were on the Hastings Street in Noosa and the child was just ambling along as a child that does with very little perceptual awareness and Erin just like is like oh my god get out of my way it almost runs into this child.
I was so tempted to just walk in.
I was like how dare you like get out of my way.
A three year old with no critical thinking skills.
Well the tree can't even see properly yet.
Eyes are developed.
The parents need to take it out of the way.
Like I'm sorry that's kind of hard to run into traffic.
Another example was watching you use your phone pay phone to use your phone to pay like payway.
Tonight? Yeah getting dinner getting pizza.
And instead of just like you know putting in your passcode or scanning your face and like holding your phone above the thing.
It was like slam the phone.
I always do that. I always do the like I really tap it like viciously and then when it doesn't work I like roll my eyes cancel it and then like go for it again.
I got so angry the other day I threw my phone across the room and then it broke.
Then my speaker sounds weird because I threw it.
Damn so you're not gonna be our speaker and the bowl girl.
No I'm not gonna speed speaking the bowl girl because it's all crackly now.
So to run for our stereotypes we've got a hot -headed redhead, a cello player, a morning retainer, and a Swifty.
And a Swifty. A cello player.
I don't think that's my stereotype.
We've got a nose piece.
I don't know what my stereotype is.
Horse girl. You can just look at me and know I was a horse girl.
Yeah. I'm just saying.
I definitely look at you.
Exactly. That's my amazing.
Next question and this one is so interesting because I've never asked any of you this and I'm really interested here.
Recount the first time you were intoxicated.
First time you were drunk.
I actually I remember the first time I was like freaked off my face.
We were I don't know high school party group of us youngins and you know just having a good time.
We look in the mirror and it was the most out of body experience seeing my drunk self in the mirror.
I just pissed myself laughing and I thought it was the most just the funniest thing because I I don't know it was like I was looking at myself I was like that's Kate but that's not Kate and it was just this weird like out of body depersonalized I don't know sort of feeling um just fucking pissed myself
every time I saw myself on the reflection.
What were you drunk on?
No I think it was like double blacks.
Good times. Oh double blacks.
She was drunk on good times.
What about you Phoops?
It was probably when I went on exchange to to France and I was friends with so I was friends with all the French kids at my school but I also had my exchange friends and so these were kids from the US one girl from Iceland Austria Germany Netherlands a bunch of islands and this girl from Brazil and oh
and a guy from Argentina yeah and just different drinking ages all around the world different drinking cultures different drinking cultures and yeah I just remember getting we were actually like we'd gotten some we bought some alcohol and then we'd gone down to this like beautiful fountain like in the middle
of the town that I was in and yeah we're just sitting there I think it was like champagne or something I just remember being like wow how many drinks do you think you would have had to get to that level one and a half yeah probably like I I never um like in high school it was only towards the very end
of high school even that I like after four moles like after parties um they were sort of the only like I experiences that I would drink a little bit but I don't know like I do remember when I was like I do remember when I was like 18 or something and like teachers but I finished like high school and stuff
and my dad picked me up from a party and was like did you drink and I was like no you were 18 though yeah but I like my family we don't drink like we're not being drinkers and I it's just not something that like it was really more when I came to uni but I like drunk in high school yeah but it wasn't
it was never to her any extreme I don't think so I don't ever think it was like it's like one udl two udl naughty I love that the first thing you got drunk off was for champagne and friends yeah I love that in bed too much I just think it's amazing near a fountain yeah right it was actually a castle
in the middle of the town that I was in and there's a big cat at the bottom and yeah then I think we went into a have a great night oh that sounds so so lovely the rest is history did you know I lived in Europe Phoebe today at the markets talking French to everyone I was I was just standing there no but she
was really good and then I would just be standing there like drinking my overpriced smoothie being like what my name is Gemma pale Gemma Gemma um Erin what was the first time you were ever intoxicated um so little known fact about me I didn't start drinking until I was 18 good job I didn't know that yeah
um like staunchly was wearing anti -alcohol until I was 18 um and then I remember my first drink I don't remember getting drunk for the first time because we had mentioned in the past 20 minutes I don't have a very good memory um so yeah I don't remember because I was I would have been on my gap year
so it would have been at some point when I was traveling on my gap year clearly it wasn't that memorable like you were drunk so it was like we don't remember and like I had lots of times on my gap year where I went out and had a little party and you know um but the first time I ever drank I was like
given like gin and juice and it was terrible it was so like gin and orange juice and I was like in this plastic cup and I was just sitting there and drinking and like I've never really drunk before so I think I remember standing up and being like oh that's a bit weird um but yeah I didn't drink that much
at all because I was very uncomfortable with the people who I was with who I worked with who were kind of horrible um and I didn't really like them and I was like I don't want this to be like and I couldn't go out because I was like 17 I didn't have a fake ID and I was in the UK and I was like no I'm
not getting a fake ID so I didn't really drink oh interesting I never knew that about you yeah but I also like you know having a parent who's an alcoholic it doesn't really encourage you to drink that much alcohol um so yeah yeah interesting but I don't know don't remember I think I probably remember
the first time I got high maybe oh um yeah that is for another time that is for another time yeah um the first time I ever got drunk was so funny so my friend Zoe who was on the podcast she did the secret to lasting friendship episode she turned 18 before I did so of course being friends you know you
gotta really take advantage of that and the first time I ever got drunk we went and saw a movie and then afterwards we went to 7 -eleven in the city because I lived in Melbourne at the time in the city and we bought these massive slurpees and then she was like do you want to have a little thing to drink
and I was like okay and I'd had like a drunk before but I was like okay and she bought those tiny little bottles of gin which is such a dead giveaway that someone is buying alcohol for someone else like and that they're young because who the fuck buys those tiny bottles of gin unless you're about to
spike a drink like unless you're about to either take it into like a rave and you're not like alcohol or you're about to spike a drink so she bought five tiny little bottles of gin and poured three of them into my into my slurpee which I then proceeded to finish in about five minutes and I was like
this feels amazing so she went and bought two more and we got another slurpee and she poured two in and I remember I was so drunk and I had to get the tram home it was like five shots of gin which these days would like I would be tipsy but it wouldn't be drunk yeah and also I would probably you had
three I had five women I got two more and also I would be drunk because I drank them in about 15 minutes oh my god and I had to get the tram home and I was like whoa and everything was wrong yeah and I met it and I got home and I was like oh my god my mom can't know I'm drunk and I walked in and my
mom was still up and I was like hey mom and she was like she was like hey I'm gonna go to bed and it was like a part of me that was like yeah and there was a part of me that was like I want to act a bit more drunk I want to have this weird conversation with my mom about the fuck that I've been drinking
and she never noticed so oh yeah yeah very very cute very very fun and I've since told her she thought it was really funny um the next question Phoebe picked this one thank you Phoebe which one would you like to read it since you picked it?
I don't know. Would you rather be naive or jaded?
Yeah naive no question about it naive because then you can be ignorant yeah why is I am jaded and it's not fun I am naive I wish I was a little bit more jaded but I would probably still rather be naive because I like my life yeah I think in both of those cases you can be very um I think when you're
jaded you can be happily surprised whereas when you're naive it's always going to be a bit of a scary surprise.
I like that but Kate what do you think?
I don't know like I wouldn't say I'm naive but I'm definitely not jaded I think I would I'd be somewhere.
If you're naive you can get to the advantage of them.
Yeah that's true. You can like just be oblivious to things around you and when you're jaded you're grumpy we were talking about this today I feel like when we were having this chat earlier when you're jaded it's really hard to see the best in situations and I think it's kind of like what you were talking
about Erin with your impressions of people you always expect a negative outcome because I think jaded naturally comes from an experience with with a negative outcome it comes from a point of negativity so you're always expecting something negative.
Can I just ask what you just said just reminded me of something that I have been trying really hard to do all the time um particularly in the last like year um but I try and notice and this is something I learnt from my dad and I've also spoken to my housemate about but trying to find little things
like the simple pleasures of life like little positive things like for example if I am on a walk or I'm even just walking to the the like like train stop or something I'll see like a cool leaf or something and I have to point it out like I like oh my friend is having to listen to me stop and go it's
a caterpillar and looking at the little simple pleasures of life shout out to Kieran now like like oh my gosh like a really good coffee or something the simple pleasures and like seeking enjoyment in them is a really fantastic thing to do and I am thoroughly enjoyed doing it with both these arguments
in mind what do you think?
I would still say I'm in I'm in the middle I think would you rather I know but would you rather and I don't I literally I don't know because I mean I'm in the middle and I I don't know I quite like it I think because obviously if you're too naive people can abuse that and things go over your head and you're
not actually quite you're not aware of what is really happening around you but if you're too jaded yeah you have this very cynical sort of outlook on people in life yeah it's quite pick one detrimental pick one what would you call the middle though?
I can't maybe like a critical cynic or something yeah oh I like that yeah you're sort of like I'm aware that you know not everything is as it seems but like I'm critical in the sense of like that can change oh I'm almost tempted to say jaded and that's I don't know that's cosmological I don't know naive
like I don't know Gem what do you think?
I would say naive because I yeah actually can I check my answer I would I would actually probably say jaded because I think what I said before like thinking about that like when you're jaded you have the opportunity to be positively surprised I was happiest when I was 10 years old so I wasn't as naive
as I was I'd rather I'd rather be jaded because I do actually think that people and situations don't surprise you if you're jaded you have to think about approaching the fact that climate change is occurring was if you're naive I'm a climate denier so with your like two kids in Nusa as a yummy mummy
in your activewear and you just go and get coffee every morning and you go to yoga and you continue on with your little life in your like multi -million dollar mansion okay maybe I'm more jaded than I think yeah I think I just revealed I'm quite jaded from that sentence itself but I think that'll be
fun like I think there's a there's a sudden I also think it's related to like income and education status but I think that there is a certain like level of middle ground that you also see a lot with like social media influences whether they where they have a lot of money a lot of disposable income and they're
like let's go and they just like leave this we are actually are aware of it and they just decide not up to me I'm an individual just gonna do what I want for my own personal gain no because I think they're completely naive so they just live their little life because they know they can live their little
life because at the end of the day they have never like in some ways like because of the like I don't want to say because I'm typecasting like anybody who's a social media influencer so I think we all know like what type of social media influencer I'm talking about yeah we saw some of them today we
saw some of them today in New South taking photos of them surfing and um their little surfboard and then were quite funny actually we were all four of us were walking back from this like pretty isolated beach area and it's in the national park and we were talking about something a little bit gross a little
bit inappropriate it's not gross it's it's something that happens it's very normal um we're talking about peeing in the ocean no peeing in the ocean and peeing in the shower everyone does it yeah very satisfying um very satisfying it is what it is I'm just saying you call it in the day who pees in the ocean the fucking
whales okay and also if you're if you're at the beach if you're at the beach and you have the choice of going to one of those grimy public toilets at a near beach or peeing in the ocean you peeing in the ocean also by the time it you know the sun disinfects it right and whales pee a lot more than fish
pee fish poo and you're saving clashing but anyhow these are influencer types just gave us the dirt why they gave us dirty looks I was trying to figure okay that makes so much sense they were just like because we were cackling away as we should we were having a great time as we should but yeah I think
people like that live very naive I want to use the word sheltered again I'm making a huge stereotype I'm like broadly painting everybody with the same brush but I think very sheltered life in which their ability to live the way they do is due to their disposable income lack of responsibility and nepotism
baby vibes which is not to say there's anything wrong with that because I would also love that because I would love to be naive I'm just saying you want to be naive with like so you know my fast fashion go go go um shane shine what is it called shine every week a new shine package the clothing brand no they'd
be going they'd be going something like they'd probably be going princess polly I think yeah a bit more highbrow lululemon yeah where you go to your little yoga class and you focus on yourself because you don't I don't know again there's nothing wrong with going to a yoga class yeah I was gonna say
I actually love sorry okay that was a terrible example um I don't hate yoga I hate you know who was talking to I think EJ and I was talking about this the other day maybe it was EJ again terrible memory wow this podcast is really showing this but yeah basically um she was talking about this I think
it was EJ was where she um goes to a yoga class and sees like the same people every single morning sometimes and they'll go like three times a day have lunch do a little like afternoon session and then like go home and I was like to live like that would be pure bliss so everyone wants to be naive be
a party mom yeah me and Kate want to be jaded you two want to be naive yeah yeah yeah Kate's gonna read the next question will you be less anxious if I was 110 percent less anxiety for sure less anxiety next question when's the first time you truly felt like an adult well I don't I don't know because I
always when I talk about real adults aka people with mortgages and um real well I'm a real job but like real real jobs anyways I like to make the distinct distinction that I am not one of those real adults yet yeah I feel like I'm 15 most days surely you feel have felt like an adult before I I I feel
the same as when I was 15 and I when I'm on the on catching public transport and I'm in my work clothes looking around everyone is in their business attire I'm like I look like the the the two kids down in their school uniforms I'm like I'm I'm that yeah it's actually a really hard question are you
trying to think about it Kate yeah I can remember a period when I first felt like an adult like there was this time I think um it was in the middle of my first year at uni and I just like kind of got my heart broken and I felt for the first time like I was making adult decisions and feeling adult feelings
and I was like responsible for those feelings and mine is so interesting you say that mine is so similar really yeah my first year as well yeah I wouldn't say heartbroken but I would say bit of a shake up in my life oh but it was like the first time that I was like I'm kind of like the only person here
for myself right now whereas usually if this would happen when I was back home you know in Melbourne like with my family and stuff I'd just be like a crying wreck or just an anxious mess and there'd be a lot of people around to be like oh you're fine like let's take care of your cookie dinner latidad
whatever it was um but I was just fully on my own and I just remember yeah one day just just a lot had happened and I was just sort of walking through like the city in Canberra I hadn't eaten all day it was like 2 p .m all the lunch shops were closed I was just a mess I was having I was just trying to
get to some chemist to get something it was just all over the show and I was like frick like you really only have yourself in this moment and it was sort of like a moment of realization I was like damn like I'm a real I don't know yeah it's interesting you say that mine was very very similar being responsible
for your own emotions and just like these emotions really push you there it's so interesting that is I never knew that yeah and I but I had a similar thing where I was really sad and I was walking I don't know I think you were the only person who was in my life for this period but I walk around campus
at like 2 3 a .m in the morning yeah all by myself and I would walk around and I put on really loud music and I would walk into like the darkest spots of campus it's incredibly dangerous I would I would walk down the Southern Creek and I just and I remember just being like one time I walked back into
the building and I was like checking from my card to get in and I found it and I just like stood there and I was just like I felt really really mature and I felt jaded I felt jaded I felt jaded yeah Erin what about you I would say interestingly I have like two one that happened kind of recently because it
for me it kind of comes and goes I know the question is first time but I want to hear both yeah well I think both like the first thing is a hundred times and sometimes I get these random flashes where I'm like I could wake up at 3m and go for a walk and nobody could stop me because when I was a kid
I used to want to go for like runs all the time when I couldn't get to sleep at like 10 p .m at night or whatever and I used to be like oh I really want to just like go for a run get all this energy out of me whatever and my mum would never let me because she'd be like yeah it's way too unsafe outside
I was 15 totally get that and I was still a child you're a real one I was an actual child but I always have these realizations that as an adult I'm like oh my god I could just like go and like go for a walk or those sudden realizations because I feel like I mentally feel 15 most of the time but the sudden
realizations happen on public transport yeah yeah catching a plane by yourself yeah catching a plane by yourself yeah which I can't do so I feel like I did that as a child though like if I was going back to the WSC family or something you'd get on the plane as a child yeah but like when you go and book
your own flights and stuff and you're organizing your own accommodation yeah we're like I'm responsible for myself yeah so you feel like an adult right now right with you guys no I'm like an absolute child yeah today when we were on the ferry I was like I feel like I'm 16 yeah I'm 16 on my little trip
with my French tineetra I felt like mum today though with my bag with my bag yeah and what was the books yeah what was your second one um so yeah first one random which interestingly I've never done I've like never gone up with three I'm like wandering around by myself probably because I'm concerned
for my safety but just the fact that you know you could do that yeah but the fact that you know you could do that chalk that up to an adult um and the second one is that when I moved with Jack my boyfriend um can we like expand the podcast I don't know if he's ever listened to a single podcast episode
I've told him to he's not a podcast person we we discussed this on the previous girls talk episode why he's in a podcast person next road trip just cue it yeah yeah um but oh no he has listened to it with me whether he's listened to any of the episodes anyway I'm going on yeah um we when we moved Tazzy
together we lived together in like a big three -bedroom house in Hobart which was really lovely um and we would often have moments where we'd be like cooking dinner together whatever and we were like wow like this feels like a real like adult thing because like it's it's interesting because like when you
live with your partner like separately it feels very very grown up because it's something like I guess people romanticize a lot probably like when you're a kid and you're like one day I'm gonna live in my house for my birthday um but also it's like oh we can just like literally eat whatever we want
for dinner like sometimes we get frozen pizza and chubees for dinner that's really yummy and then other times we'll cook like a big meal or we'll have soup or something really healthy or you know but yeah when we were living together and we it was always like when we were cooking which is really interesting
but we as because we have a giant sport thing beautiful big kitchen in Tazzy and we'd always be cooking dinner yeah we'd be like dancing around in the kitchen together or like you know playing reflex or just like talking about our days and it's like wow feels like a real adult thing because living in the share house
doesn't make you feel like an adult it makes me feel like I am 12 yeah you're living with your buddies yeah it's just fun yeah hey crazy about what you just said you were like when you move in with your partner it's this thing that you've looked forward to as a child it's just I had not realized this but you're
like one of my first friends who've done that and it's crazy to be like oh my god we're in that stage ah and oh my gosh isn't it crazy to be like oh my god we're in the stage where people are moving in with their partners and I'm just like have any of my friends no I don't think any oh uh cheetah cheetah
yeah why did I say cheetah I was thinking about friend jia yeah I think also I'm just like totally not well you guys all have very beautiful relationships with people who you've all been together with almost all of you at a year we all started dating our partners at the same time last year and you long
to speak to but you guys all started dating people which but it's fine because I really like all your partners um so I'm not even in that mindset Erin at all of like this is what an adult like but it's really it's really weird because it feels very official and I think sometimes that's quite scary but it's
also really fucking fun yeah like living together with Jack is so living together living with Jack living together um is really really fucking fun yeah and we have lots of fun that's so nice okay so to wrap this up we're gonna do a quick speed round one question for one person glowing around the circle
so we can say goodbye to our three lovely guests um for coming on phoebe would you like to start a question for Kate no for me no way pick it for each person no you pick for your own so Kate okay I do I pick from the top of the deck yeah do it oh I'm just I'm going diving into the middle here okay great frick
how do I do it if there was one reason for living what do you think it is okay one okay one reason for living god I think it's just to make all the fucking mistakes in the world but learn from them so that your life like actually has purpose and meaning if you're just like constantly living a happy
life honestly what's the point in living make mistakes learn from them have a life worth living okay so what did you like most inspiring thing I thought you're gonna answer seriously I thought her answer was gonna be gelato maseena and also for maseena okay ready oh actually we answered that question last
night oh we also answered that question last night have you got a last night question yeah wait just what's an irrational phobia of yours uh planes yes very easy my rational phobia is planes another irrational phobia is that uh personal one but everyone I date is gonna find someone after me and isn't
even like it's incredibly irrational because that's a high likelihood that every single person you will date will move on to another person because that's how dating works over to you erin and or relationships guys you've had so much time we've done very very speed speed brown and let's keep it up let's
keep it up guys you like to ramble here we go this is an alien question oh thank you breathe um what do you think aliens look like oh green oh yeah I agree kato uh agree info center in the northern territory it's it's why you talk about that quickly um I think that we simply could not comprehend what aliens
look like and I think that they're probably all watching us like the Truman show the film we're just their little pawns and I reckon they place bets on our lives yeah I reckon we fully just like there's no scientific basis for this by the way this is my personal theory yeah I think that's interesting
because as a child I used to think that we were living in a little tiny box and giants were playing with us yeah and yeah yeah dolls that giants would control yeah that's that's similar vibes similar vibes maybe your question from the top oh they could rock how would this experience be different if there
was no drugs or alcohol well I'm not drinking right now so it would be the exact same that's a silly question I'm doing a new one do it anyone would you rather live without love or money I would definitely rather live without money oh I will go live as a recluse in the mountains with some goats um who you
love yeah who I love I think I got that one completely wrong and that would be it so that's that's I I money makes me really stressed so but love makes me really happy oh what a beautiful beautiful and adorable person in the words of the money makes me stressed but love makes me happy and you know what in the words
of in the words of Kate Boulter all of today my money don't jiggle jiggle cold the amount of times I heard her we'd be walking on the path big thank you to these guys for coming on they are some of my course anytime my dearest dearest friends so it was an amazing weekend and hopefully you guys heard
that in this podcast um so thanks Erin thanks Phoebe thanks Kate and thanks Gem and thank you Gem yes and play some of these questions with your friends write them down and and then let us know yeah the Instagram Instagram which is at that psychology podcast at that psychology psychology I changed it
recently oh I hated the old one I also changed the branding did anyone notice I did I did I saw you I saw about it yep I voted on the poll same you all did I actually saw that you all voted yeah of course we kind of devoted listeners devoted devoted and yeah make sure you subscribe and leave a rating
on the podcast another Spotify or Apple podcast if you feel called to do so and thank you again for tuning in send it to your friends send it to your friends like I have sent it to my loved ones yeah my loved ones goodbye this year I've been really rethinking my relationship with alcohol and so I decided
to commit to dry January to really kickstart 2025 and just test myself Heineken 00 is the perfect companion for dry January because you feel like you're still participating when you're out for dinner with friends out for drinks whilst you're still meeting your lifestyle goals I'm a big beer fan so I
also love the taste of Heineken 00 plus being alcohol free you can enjoy whenever refreshment calls Heineken 00 is available at your local Heineken retailer or for delivery at Heineken .com you must be 21 plus to purchase enjoy Heineken responsibly and good luck with dry January.
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