Thank you.
Dear Tam, in honor of your 25th birthday, it's only right that you share 25 lessons you've learned in the lead up to being 25.
Let's do it.
It is my 25th birthday.
Your girl's frontal lobe is officially developing.
I'm so excited.
This time last year, I created a video called 24 lessons I learned before 24 and you guys loved it.
So I had to come back exactly one year later to do it all over again.
So I'm going to be going through these 25 lessons I've learned before 25.
I'm not going to be repeating anything I said in last year's video.
Those were very different lessons.
So if you want to check it out, it's right over here.
These last 12 months between 24 and 25 have been crazy.
I have achieved so many of my goals, from hitting Forbes 30 under 30, launching my business Self Obsessed Journal along with two guided journals within that, launching my website, buying Birkins, traveling the world, being flown out by my dream brands, London Fashion Week, celebrating three years with Boyf and even getting two cats in the last 12 months, and so much more.
It's been crazy.
So here are all of the lessons that I've learned.
Lesson number one is forget the past.
I have launched several different businesses in my life so far, starting from when I was 16 or 17 years old.
Many of them failed or didn't take off or didn't quite amount to what I wanted them to be.
I had another business that was doing well, but it literally drained me and I just wasn't enjoying it.
Despite having that record of business failures, it did not stop me from setting up Self-Obsessed Journal this year.
Sure, I was naturally filled with a lot of fear and self-doubt, but I didn't let those past failures give me any excuses or reasons not to go ahead with this new dream I had, because why would I reference a past reality that didn't turn out the way I wanted to and I didn't even like?
It just doesn't make sense.
Instead of focusing on how everything went wrong in the past, I just shifted my focus to visualize how I wanted things to go instead.
That allowed me to push through, and now this is the business that actually amounted to what I wanted all of my other businesses to be.
I ticked off all of my goals this year and it truly is growing and thriving and I'm enjoying and loving every single second of it, which I might say I wouldn't be able to do if it wasn't for the past failures, because they taught me so much of what it takes to run a business and the members you need on your team to actually be able to sustain it.
But so much of the time we assess our decision making and risk taking on our past experiences and how they've gone, especially the negative ones, because our brain is literally wired to do that for us, to keep us safe and protected.
But the most important lesson ever is you need to learn how to override that and think differently and not allow that function to keep you in safety mode forever.
Otherwise, you're never going to get anywhere.
Remember more risk equals more reward.
Two, you are what you consume.
I am so fussy with what I look at, consume online, where I spend my energy, what I even listen to, which is really hard nowadays, with feeds refreshing every single second.
You're being pushed and shown different content all the time that you can't necessarily control.
For example, all the recent celeb gossip, or when an influencer gets canceled and there's a 50-part episode series on TikTok telling you all the details about it, and it's plopped its way onto your For You page.
You have to have the discipline to be able to select, not interested on that, block or mute the person who's creating the content like that, because it's distracting you from your goals and messing with your frequency and then scrolling right past that.
Remember all of these hateful conversations or meaningless gossip is affecting your mindset and your vibration.
Why would you let something that literally has nothing to do with you and is not going to get you any step closer to your happiness, fulfillment or full potential to derail you on your journey?
Ew.
This year I really learned to stop normalizing reading something or consuming something just because it shows up right in front of you.
Learn to be selective and fussy and have high standards, even when it comes to the stuff that shows up on your phone.
Three, protect your energy.
Now, I had a bit of a scary incident slash experience this year with an Uber driver around six months ago.
And after it happened, I really didn't think it was gonna end up being this big lesson that actually impacted me, but it did.
Now, without going into the details of what the actual incident was because again, why would I re-immerse my energy in that negativity?
No, thank you.
When the incident happened I came straight home and I was telling Boyf about it and I was telling him all the details and how I was feeling.
Then, when I went into my room and I was doing my skincare routine and getting ready for bed, I just felt myself getting worked up all over again and it was really upsetting me.
And that's when I realized sometimes bad things are gonna happen.
But when you rehash the story or you sit in the experience for too long, you are experiencing the negativity for way longer than you would ever need to.
Matter of fact, you're never even actually moving on from it.
And in all of the effort and the time and the energy that it takes to remember the story, retell it or think about it, you're just giving more energy to that person.
Four, trust your intuition.
Learning to trust my intuition or give it any care in the world has taken way too long, but I'm finally there.
In my life, whenever I've met someone and I've gotten a bad vibe or I feel like I don't trust something or an experience or an opportunity, for whatever reason, I've always criticized myself for it.
I've thought you've got no proof.
You've got no evidence of it.
Stop being crazy.
Like you're clearly being triggered or you're clearly being negative for no reason.
Don't judge this person.
Like I really thought it made me a bad person.
When I tell you I have 100 success rate, where whenever I've gotten a bad vibe, I've always turned out to be correct.
Especially whenever I had these feelings, I'd always compare myself to the people around me where they'd be like but this person is so nice.
Why are you thinking this?
Why can't you trust them?
We all like them.
And I'd start punishing myself because I didn't think the same as everybody else.
But the truth is that feeling in your gut is so powerful.
It is integrating years of your life experience in one quick bodily signal.
And whenever you brush past it or you decide to ignore it, you're just ignoring your own lived experience.
It's your body trying to warn you before your consciousness can even catch up.
Five, starting therapy.
I first approached therapy when I was 24 years old, which in my opinion was way too late.
I wish I started earlier because it was really something I always thought about as a teen.
But at 24 I started looking into my options and it was just a rocky journey of trying to figure out the right place to go or the right way to do it, and I just felt like I wasn't equipped enough to find the right therapist for me.
But when I found BetterHelp, it truly changed my life and gave me the exact therapy experience I wanted.
Big thank you to BetterHelp because they are the paid partners of today's video.
I have had friendship and family wounds in my life that have dated back decades, and I have just left them.
Like I've tried to process them and work through them myself, which definitely helps but never truly gets you over a traumatic experience.
So I just feel like you owe it to yourself, your self-care and your self-love to show up for yourself and give yourself the qualified help from a professional.
My online therapist on BetterHelp gave me all the tools and perspective shifts I needed to put those experiences to bed, so I didn't have to spend another year of my life reflecting on the same old negative situations.
BetterHelp is such a great online therapy platform because it's truly tailored to your convenience and your preferences.
All you have to do to get started is head over to betterhelpcom, fill out the questionnaire that's going to pop up, because that will assess all of your specific needs.
Then you will get matched to a therapist that is best suited to your needs, your situation, your problem, whatever you're facing.
In most cases, in 48 hours, I personally got matched to mine within the first 24 hours.
It was so quick.
And if, for whatever reason, you want to switch therapists because you want somebody else, you can, at no extra cost, can take your online therapy sessions in any way you prefer, whether it be on video call, text message, phone call it's all about what you want.
Another thing i've loved from my therapy experiences is my therapist giving me homework and giving me things to think about or go away and do or journal about after each session.
That's just personally, how i like to learn and how i process things, and it's really made me be a little bit more assertive and practical when it comes to my healing journey with things that i've struggled to get over for a long period of time, And that's what's given me like real, actionable results.
Lesson six, people aren't villains, they are just limited.
Now, this perspective shift is not for the benefit of the other person, for whoever's done you wrong, or your ex, it's for you.
It's for your forgiveness, for your moving on and for your own peace of mind.
Because the truth is.
Villainizing people thinking the worst of them does more harm to you than it would ever do to them.
Because until you truly forgive the past, you don't have to love what's happened and you don't have to condone it.
But until you can truly forgive it and move on from it, you're going to just keep attracting the same experiences that are energetically familiar to whatever trauma you may be holding on to.
And I really learned that the hard way.
Whether it be emotionally unavailable people in your dating life or being mistreated in your friendship group or feeling like you always have to chase validation just to be seen and just to be worthy.
And everyone watching this can relate, because I'm sure we've all been villainized by other people in our lives before.
We have to admit that we don't always know the full side of the story.
We don't always know what somebody else is going through, and it's unfair to villainize somebody when yes, they may have mistreated you, and that is completely valid.
Yes, they shouldn't have done what they did, but there are so many other factors to it and so many things that may have affected them in their childhood or what makes them them, or why they tick or think in the way that they do, that we can just never understand.
So it's completely fine to distance yourself and never talk to that person again.
But focusing in on why they're so evil and why they're so bad and why you hope that nothing ever good comes to them is really just draining your own energy.
Seven, lock in to your goals.
Now, I'm not about to say what you think I might say.
I've spoken so much before on my YouTube channel about being productive and locking into your goals and how fun and important that is.
But this year I learned that if I wasn't fully locked into my present vision or whatever I was working on in the moment, if I just had a little bit too much free time free time is great, work-life balance is great, so is self-care, but I'm talking too much.
I would always find my brain wandering back to past experiences I'd gone through i'm talking experiences that i'd forgotten.
I'd gone through people that i've forgotten the names of, and it would just all come rushing back to my head and i learned it's because when you have too much free time, when you're not engaging your brain with, like meaningful self-care or meaningful rest time or productive work time, your brain is just going fishing in the past, because it literally has nothing else to do and nothing else to think about.
Because the past is safe, because your subconscious mind knows exactly how the past works out, it's familiar, you know the ending, Instead of thinking how can I level up?
What's my next move?
What can I do to really benefit myself today?
It's thinking, remember that old connection?
Remember that old person?
Remember what that guy said to you on that date one time?
And then you just find yourself spiraling and getting deeper and deeper into that storyline, because you simply can't stop.
It's a horrible cycle.
And your mind does this because ruminating requires no risk, but creating does.
Creating is hard.
Getting up on your two feet and going to do something that's going to benefit your mental health or your future or your goals is stressful, is scary, but you need to remind yourself that and be aware of it, because ever since I built an awareness to this, I have stopped going back and replaying old storylines because I know that's just everybody's brain's tendency to do so.
So now I can actually keep myself busy.
Eight, get comfortable with making others uncomfortable.
This lesson is my favorite.
The truth is, when you are on a growth journey, when you are trying to evolve, you are gonna get so many people in your life who feel uncomfortable with you changing and stepping out of the neat little box they keep you in in their head of all the things that they think make you you.
Once you start changing those definitions, once you start being a little bit more unpredictable and taking risks that they never thought you would and challenging the idea and the belief that everybody has of you, it's scary to everybody else.
Even the people that you think, love you and support you, like your friends and your family and your siblings.
It makes people uncomfortable.
And the sooner that you get comfortable with the process of making other people uncomfortable in your growth and your evolution, the better that you are gonna do in life.
Because so many people stop at this step.
This is the first hurdle.
People start questioning, but why are you setting up a YouTube channel?
But why are you dressing in that way?
Why are you hanging out with those people?
Why do you think in this way?
Why are these your beliefs?
Why are you on a spiritual journey, like because it's not familiar to them and because you are diverting from the path that you've always been on and they've always known you, as people want to quickly correct you because otherwise it's too much work for them.
And if you listen to that and if you let it stop you and if you make it out to be this whole big thing that oh, what I'm doing must be bad because people aren't encouraging me, that is absolutely false.
If you think in that way, it's going to make you shrink and be so small and never grow outside of your comfort zone, because everybody around you wants to stay comfortable too.
Nine, find joy in the way you do, not what you do.
This is actually probably one of the last lessons I learned in this last year of my life, and it's game changing.
I just feel like a much happier person because of it.
And this lesson is listen.
We all have responsibilities, we all have work, we all have stressful days, we all just feel like it gets a bit too much sometimes.
And a lot of things we do come with this resistance and this dread.
So changing the way you go about it because you can't necessarily always change what you do and the chores you have to do or the responsibilities you have, changing the way that you do them makes life so much more enjoyable.
A great example is romanticizing your morning routine, which then fulfills the goal of you actually waking up early and getting your healthy habits done first thing.
The way I've done this, and everybody's gonna be different, is I love to have a slow morning.
I stopped waking up and going to the gym straight away, because that's where the dread used to come from, like stepping outside first thing.
I put a gorgeous silk robe on, I spend time doing my skincare, I put on my LED mask, I have a cup of tea in my favorite dish where it just makes me feel like a goddess and like I'm pouring it to myself first thing in the morning.
I have the girliest morning.
I make it all aesthetic and all cute and, without even thinking about it or stressing about it, I'm getting all my hobbies and routines done in the morning and my habits, because it feels easy and it feels enjoyable because of the way that I've curated it.
Another example is I just got back into my cooking era.
I famously hate cooking, but for my own health journey I decided to just set the goal of doing it, cooking two meals a day and getting it done for my own nutrition.
But to get rid of that dread and that resistance that I used to feel, I make myself a nice little beverage while I do it.
I either play jazz music or I've started playing a podcast.
So I feel productive and I feel motivated because I'm more focused on the content of the podcast I'm listening to instead of the food that I'm cooking in front of me, and it just makes time fly way faster.
In a nutshell, it's about deciding the tone of every task you're about to take, and that in itself will make your life feel a lot more enjoyable.
10, life is too short not to get your closure.
Now, now, now, before I go into the story, please take this with a pinch of salt.
This does not apply to everybody, okay?
It had been a hot minute ever since I reached out to somebody.
I didn't speak to anymore for closure, but I actually did that in this last year.
And I did it with an ex-friend where the friendship just ended very randomly, very suddenly.
I never knew why.
And then this last summer, I decided to finally just bite the bullet and reach out to the person and have the conversation.
Of course, there's loads of self-doubt and you're thinking, what if they ignore me?
What if this makes me feel worse than I did before?
But my mindset is even if they ignore me, that is an answer.
If they are rude to me, that is an answer.
That is the closure.
I need to stop romanticizing the question or to stop romanticizing the connection or get caught up in the nostalgia of it or wonder if you know things will ever be different or what even happened in the first place.
So I reconnected with this friend in the summertime and we spoke and guys, it went great.
It went so great and there was so much accountability from this person and it was a really friendly chat and we caught up like no time, you know, passed.
We're not friends now.
It wasn't a whole thing about let's be in each other's lives again.
It was, I think we both need this conversation.
Let's get it over and done with.
I have never felt better or more free in my life because nothing is consuming me anymore.
There's nothing in my brain that's wondering.
If I were to run into this person tomorrow, I would feel really awkward because I don't know what's going on here.
It was just finally like a nice amicable split and I couldn't recommend it enough.
11, find your outdated subconscious scripts.
So what I mean by this is one of my outdated subconscious scripts is a way that you basically hold yourself back without even knowing it because you're still living your life in accordance to a way that you may have felt 10 years ago or a mindset that you had 10 years ago that's still affecting you to this day and mine I found out this year was because I used to be so hyper available to everybody and hyper responsible for so many things i was always stuck in this energy and routine of chaos and stress every single day i woke up and i just felt like i've got to do things and i've got to be here and why am i still in bed and like i just never gave myself rest time thankfully in the last few months of this year before turning 25 i did fix that i started romanticizing my morning i fixed my mental health my mindset so i'm in a much better place now but before that i was waking up every single morning like i was in a rush to be somewhere even though i'm self-employed i work from home because my brain was like still associating with a past reality i had and the past stress that i had and it never quite moved on from it and it was affecting my current state of life finding that pattern in my life and just being aware of it allowed me to start changing things it allowed me to set the tone of my mornings to change the way that i do things to work on my mindset and to journal through it so i could finally get over it 12. new eras come with loneliness if you are in your early 20s and you are on the journey of growing rapidly maybe you're fresh out of education and you're figuring out what you want to do for the first time in your life you have already outgrown 80% of your old reality and that is definitely what happened to me when I was like 22 and fresh out of uni and I was wondering why I didn't want to do the things I used to do I didn't want to party on the weekends anymore and I didn't feel aligned with the friendships that I had in university anymore because I just changed too much.
I'd gone in a completely different path and I did that extremely rapidly.
I put myself in a place of isolation.
I barely left the house because I was too busy trying to set up my dream career and my lifestyle and my businesses.
It's not about getting to the destination of the goal.
It's about the type of person you have to become on the journey to getting that goal.
And it's really easy when you're on that journey to confuse the isolation that will come with it with rejection, thinking that nobody likes you anymore, thinking you don't have a life anymore.
But everything happens for a reason and also everything happens in a season.
The first few years of my 20s were very lonely because I never poured into my friendships.
I didn't have time for them and, to be completely honest, it just wasn't a priority for me.
Now I'm 25 and I feel like my career is a little bit more stable and while I'm growing, it's not such an intense thing where I'm at home in a little dark room on my laptop 24-7.
I can go out and I can explore new friendships, pour into my old ones, and it's a little bit more balanced.
Learn to respect the different seasons because they're all part of everybody's journey.
But especially to my people in their 20s, where you are already rapidly growing without even setting any goals.
You were just rapidly changing as a person, because you're learning who you are.
But if you are setting loads of goals and you've got your vision board which I know you do because you watch this YouTube channel then old friendships are going to crumble and your old mindset isn't going to stick anymore.
13, regulate before you grind.
Your nervous system is the control center behind every action, decision and relationship in your life.
And so when it's dysregulated and you are stuck in chaos or fight or flight, that's when you feel like you want to give up and you've hit a wall and you can't do anything anymore.
And your mindset isn't getting you to the place where it used to, but nothing in your life even changed.
But all of a sudden, you are not equipped to deal with the life that you've dealt with for so long.
Because you've been pushing yourself for too long, because you've been living and trying to work in burnout for too long.
Regulating your nervous system is the step back you need to take to keep pushing it even further and even longer than before.
It is such a necessary step in being a successful person and having sustained and consistent productivity and workflow.
And the way that you do that is mindfulness, is restfulness, is breathwork, is meditation.
I start every single day in my morning routine with meditation.
Yes, it takes time.
Yes, if I wake up a little bit later and I feel like I'm already behind my work schedule, it's non-negotiable, because that's me taking care of myself, my mental health, my mindset, my nervous system, so that I can show up to those work tasks later better, so that I don't have burnout.
I actually can't remember the last time I had burnout, and it used to be something I experienced on a regular basis every other week for about four or five years.
And I just thought that was normal.
Hustling over time, not worrying about your sleep, about your mental health, about your mindfulness practices.
That's gonna get a lot of work done for you in the short term, sure.
But regulation and peace of mind and self-care is an engine that is gonna keep you going for years and years and years to come.
14 stop using struggle as an identity.
And an example of not using struggle as an identity is i am a woman of color.
There are so many things i can worry about when i walk into certain rooms, meet certain people and especially when i go after job opportunities, because there is so much evidence over history and still currently of women of color getting the short end of the stick.
Despite that evidence, I do not focus on it.
I do not speak about it.
I do not worry about it.
And I do not immerse myself in the thought and belief of it where it affects my reality and my mindset.
I think about it so minimally where I'm sure that there have been multiple times in my life where being a woman of color has had me at a disadvantage, but I never focus on it.
So if somebody asked me, when has it stopped you or when is it not worked in your favor?
I wouldn't even know what to tell them, because anytime I miss out on an opportunity or somebody mistreats me, I've never put it down to that reason.
So yes, it is very much a valid, real problem in the world, but there's literally no benefit to you focusing on it and thinking about it.
You might as well give something your 100 and be a bit delusional and think that everything in the world works in your favor, because why the hell wouldn't you?
You're gonna walk into rooms more self-assured, more confident and speak louder and not worry what other people have to say about you.
15.
You attract what you believe you're worthy of, not what you say you want.
You attract who you are, not what you want.
I used to say all the time i really want female friendships.
I really wanted to manifest that.
I really wanted to attract that into my life.
But i had past experiences of female friendships that ended really badly or were a horrible experience while being in them.
Alongside those experiences, I had a deep insecurity around being chosen or being validated.
I used to doubt my worth and whether people would even want to be friends with me or even want to be in my life.
Because I still held on to all of those limiting beliefs, it was reflected in my reality.
I couldn't manifest the female friendships I wanted because A I didn't feel deserving of them and, B I was too fixated on all the different ways they had gone wrong for me.
I cared about it way too much and in turn I was pushing it away from me because I was scared of it.
I was scared of it going wrong.
I was scared of it actually really hurting me and breaking my heart.
But I was also scared of like not being good enough for it and in turn I was attracting low value friends, people who mistreated me, toxic people, toxic friendships.
And it wasn't until I did the inner work and I did the healing and I went to therapy and I did the journaling and I changed my perspective and I actively went out and sought out female friendships and noticed my patterns in the way that I speak, the way I present myself, the thoughts I was having on those friendship dates that I was able to make a real actionable change.
So then I could change the people I attracted into my life and it truly worked.
16, healing isn't about not being triggered.
On your healing journey, you can have made so much significant progress and people will still trigger you.
It's not about everything being peaceful and quiet and happy days and nothing ever going wrong.
Things go wrong all the time for everybody.
That is a normal part of reality and you shouldn't beat yourself up over that.
People will trigger you, things will bother you.
The real healing you notice is when somebody does trigger you.
You catch yourself responding in a different way than you used to.
Maybe you catch yourself being less emotional, being less reactive, being less angry, responding in a healthier calmer, more constructive way, holding yourself back from responding to people.
You know don't listen and you know don't change, and not wasting your breath, energy or effort over them.
That is what healing is.
When, in difficult situations, you find yourself acting from a place of love towards yourself and not letting other people's actions or other situations consume you.
17.
The things you want to do require confidence.
I have received so many questions and I see questions and conversations online about people saying you know, but how do I set up a business and how do I be a content creator?
The truth is it's literally a you versus you battle.
You don't need to concern yourself with.
What type of tripod do I need to get, or can I film on my phone?
Or obsessing over the latest TikTok light and whether you need to invest in it.
No, you can literally film on your phone, put it out, learn from that experience.
What is more important is the relationship you have with yourself.
Your confidence is going to carry you through setting up a business, through putting yourself online, being perceived by others, being visible, expressing yourself authentically, putting out your art and creatively expressing yourself for the opinions and judgments of others.
Because that is absolutely going to happen.
Becoming comfortable with all of the parts of yourself and learning to accept them instead of reject them is going to hold you and going to allow you to be consistent through the entire journey because I truly think entrepreneurship, content creation, all of the things that fall under that umbrella is such personal journey and it's such a battle of growing to be the kind of person that can do it but if you're not the type of resilient confident self-assured person that can get up and keep putting in the work or keep being seen even with the hate the judgment the low days the days you don't get result the days that you're failing then you don't have what it takes first focus on your relationship with yourself your self-love and your confidence and you'll find yourself fully equipped for what you want to do in life 18 your soulmate is like nothing you ever imagined and that's because they're not supposed to be like anything you've ever experienced so much of the time we talk about like this future partner or the relationship we want in terms of what we've had before in our love lives but why would we compare what our dream love is compared to all of the loves that didn't work out all the dating experiences that crashed and burned doesn't make sense yes they do serve as necessary experience especially on what to avoid especially on what red flags are but one thing i really learned in my 20s was the peaceful true soulmate love doesn't give you the butterflies that you had with every other boyfriend or every other young love because A lot of the times these butterflies are gut feelings trying to warn you.
They are anxiety.
They are warnings.
They are a roller coaster of emotions or trauma bonding.
And I say all of that because I experienced that before.
Real love is peaceful.
Real love is quiet.
Real love can feel boring when all you've had before is toxic partners, where you never know what's about to happen or how this person is going to react to you or what argument is about to ensue.
Real love feels so different that when you find it, you're gonna actually question is this love, is this what it's supposed to feel like?
That's when you know you found it, especially if you have a history of dating people that are bad for you, like i did.
Your person is supposed to be like nothing you've ever experienced before, because they heal you and they teach you and they show you parts of yourself you've never seen before and nobody's ever unlocked before, because they truly love you, see you and try to learn every little insignificant thing that makes you you, because they care and they're there and they grow through love.
So please stop looking for love or for people that are familiar, because otherwise you're just going to be repeating the same old puns 19.
Stop feeling bad.
I have wasted so many years of my life trying to be the nicest person in the room.
Being a people pleaser was my thing for over a decade.
And it's not that I'm not a kind person anymore.
It's about knowing you're worth enough to not need to associate yourself with people, with places, with situations that don't serve you, just for the sake of being nice.
Because that is just self-sabotage.
That is, you just punishing yourself for the sake of people you don't even care about and that probably don't even care about you.
It's so useless and it's such a waste of time, all to protect yourself from the criticism that you are always giving yourself.
You shouldn't have said that.
You shouldn't have done that.
They probably hate you.
They think really badly about you.
Oh my god, i feel so bad, because why did i do that?
Or did i leave them out?
Or do they not like me?
Why did that person not, you know involve me?
It's so all-consuming.
Not giving an f allows you to take up more space.
It allows you to speak louder and not worry about who you might offend in the process of doing that.
It allows you to grow without worrying who's going to be triggered by that growth, Because these are all things that you're doing for the benefit of yourself that don't even harm anybody else.
But a lot of the time we trick ourselves into playing it small because we think we're harming others.
Because people do react negatively to things we do that aren't even inherently bad.
And if you haven't trained your mindset to stop feeling badly and to stop giving an F, you are going to believe them.
20 future self mentoring.
Basically, instead of asking yourself what would they think of me if i did this, instead think what would my future self do?
Because that future self version of you who's achieved the goals, who's got the success, got the happiness, everything you've ever wanted, she already exists, just on a different timeline, and every single time you ask her for advice because she knows all the answers she's at the end of her journey.
You collapse time.
Every time you embody her choices and her mindset in these present day decisions, you are closing the gap and you are bringing her vibration into the now.
You are making better decisions for yourself.
You are acting from a place of confidence, because she has all the confidence.
She succeeded.
She did everything she needed to do.
It's so easy for you right now to slip into self-doubt because you haven't done any of it yet, but if you are borrowing that confidence from her, you are going to get so much further.
Right now, it is the best thing in the world.
Stop asking your friends who aren't even on the same journey as you for advice and start asking the version of you who's already done it all, because I promise you you already know the answers.
It can be an alter ego for you, but it's completely going to shift the tone and the experience and the outcome of every situation you're in when you start doing that.
21, falling out of frequency.
When things go wrong, when people fall away, when things just don't work out and you don't know why that thing didn't carry on or why something faded away.
Relationships routines, opportunities it's not bad luck.
It is simply misalignment.
If you have gone on your healing journey, you've healed a wounded part of yourself, worked on your shadow self, overcome an older identity, set higher standards.
Things are naturally going to start falling away because you are no longer the version of yourself who could be on the same frequency as those things to even keep them in your life.
Once you've reached another level and you've healed and you've grown up here, anything that you had before that is incompatible to growing with you on that level has to go.
It just, it doesn't align.
They're not on the same frequency as each other anymore.
It doesn't match.
That's why things go missing.
That's why you don't understand why you and that person don't speak anymore, why that job fell through, why that opportunity didn't happen, because it was never even meant to be in the first place, because you outgrew it.
Because now you're up here, new opportunities and new rooms and new environments have to come here.
22, rest and balance is for true manifestation.
You resting is a sign from your body to your subconscious mind of safety and abundance and the fact that you deserve it and the fact that you are safe while resting.
If you never stop moving, you never stop working.
You're always busy, you're always on the go, always chaotic, always have to show up for every single person and putting yourself last.
That signals danger to the body.
That means you can never stop, you can never slow down, and when you do, it feels so unfamiliar and so scary that you feel guilty every time you rest.
You resting or taking a day off or not working all weekend?
Because, Let me tell you, anytime I took a weekend off from working, I felt so guilty, as if that's not like a thing that's deserved to human beings worldwide.
It's not you being lazy, it's you stepping out of this survival frequency where you feel like you have to overgive and overwork all the time just to be deserving of anything.
So when you do rest, abundance can finally find you.
You can have a 50-50 balance, 60-40.
You can rest more than you hustle if you want to.
That's why there are books about only working a four-hour week and people making it work.
It's about finding what works for you, finding what you actually like, not forcing yourself to live a stressful lifestyle just because you feel like that's the way it has to be, because you're the creator of your own reality.
Overwork because you want to, not because you feel you have to.
That's when you start slipping into scarcity and feeling like you can't receive anything.
Resting because you want to, because you're going to find the time to give that to yourself, because you need it is true self-love.
23.
Discomfort is the cost of an interesting life.
It is so hard and frustrating being a beginner at anything.
Trust me, I know.
But we have to normalize the process of it and we have to normalize those difficult feelings of being a beginner, otherwise we will never learn anything new, otherwise we will never grow as people, we will never discover things we never thought we would and we'll never learn how to truly build a fulfilling life.
It's just about being a beginner.
It's not about being a beginner and then succeeding, or being a beginner, then failing, because regardless of those two outcomes, you're still from the experience of being a beginner, gonna learn what is working for me, what isn't working for me, what do i find enjoyable, what would i never want to do again, and that is invaluable experience.
Staying with the comfort of all the things you already know and never really venturing out enough keeps you from finding the treasure of all of the things you never thought could be so good, all the things you never even realized or never thought that you could have fallen in, in love with and transformed your life.
So stay curious, put yourself in new environments and learn to be a beginner more often.
This links into 24, ask more questions.
You should be so proud not to be the smartest person in the room.
It's the best possible favor you could do for yourself.
Not being the smartest person in the room leaves so much room for curiosity and learning people bringing you up to their level that they've reached on their journey.
That makes you a more well-rounded, knowledgeable person and better conversationalist, because i know what it's like to be in a room like that and feel a little bit intimidated and put other people on a pedestal and stay quiet because you don't want to ask the question, in case there's a stupid question and then you're judged.
It's just safer to be quiet and not be noticed and be invisible.
But that is useless and that is a waste of the room and the people in it.
When instead, if you let go of the fear of being perceived, you could ask people all the questions you wanted about their field, about what they do?
If you understand nothing about it, even if everybody else knows about it and you're the only one that doesn't You'll walk away having learned about it.
You'll walk away with a new lesson.
You will walk away with free knowledge from somebody's entire life, because people love giving advice.
People love talking about their experiences.
You think somebody's going to judge you for asking questions and not knowing enough, when people would be honored to teach you about what they do and what they've learned and their life lessons?
Then you get somebody's entire life's research and learnings and trial and errors and experiences from a 10-minute conversation.
So now think about that the next time you want to sacrifice all that experience, all that knowledge, all that power, just for feeling embarrassed a little bit by a room of people.
And finally, lesson number 25, of course, is to get obsessed.
Get obsessed with your potential.
Get obsessed with your growth.
Get obsessed with your happiness.
Get obsessed with your mental health.
Get obsessed with your career, with your relationships, with getting your money up, with finding God or spirituality, whatever you're into.
Get obsessed with spending more time in your creative hobbies and finding your passion.
Get obsessed with transforming your identity and manifesting every single one of your dreams, because you can keep asking the universe for more hardcore obsession on becoming the best version of you and creating the most fulfilling life possible.
Pure dedication and discipline to doing that and even getting up on the holidays.
And, of course, factoring in that very well-deserved rest, but going at it for years and years and years and years, because it's what you truly care about and it's what's truly gonna give you that love and passion and fulfillment.
Because there are too many people that will have 101 excuses before they even try to stop.
They always prioritize pleasure.
They never think long-term.
They never fix their mindset.
They feel so entitled that they should already have everything that they spend more of their time complaining that they don't have it, rather than working in their life to get it like everybody else.
Get obsessed to the point where you don't care what anybody has to say.
You don't care if people judge you.
You don't care if you're embarrassed in the process.
You don't care if you put out 10 videos and they all fail.
You keep going because you owe it to yourself.
And that brings us to the end of 25 lessons I learned before turning 25.
I hope you guys enjoyed this video.
Please comment down below.
Let me know which number lesson was your favorite.
And thank you so much for being here.
25.
Wow.
I started this YouTube channel when I was...
19.
You guys didn't discover me until I was 22 and now I'm here, 25.
What a journey, and I have loved creating and to be completely real with you guys.
It's been hard some weeks.
Sometimes I don't want to film, sometimes it feels stressful, sometimes the self-doubt consumes me.
I don't know if you realized, but I did something a little bit different with this video and I wanted to be creative and I wanted to challenge myself.
I didn't want to keep creating in the same way I have all these years, just because it works.
I
I want to keep creatively challenging myself and giving you guys new things.
And I procrastinated for a good almost two hours before I filmed today's video, because I was scared that I was going to put the effort in and it wasn't going to work.
Or the video would look terrible, or you guys wouldn't like it and my efforts would have gone to waste.
But guess what?
I did it anyway.
I sat with this discomfort and the painful feelings and the worry that it won't turn out well and the risk that I don't even.
I'm still filming.
I don't know what this video is going to look like, but I'm going to put it out anyway and I'm going to test it and I'm going to see what happens.
Bonus 26 lesson in itself.
If you liked the way this video was done and the little extra stuff at the start, please comment down below.
Let me know what you thought, because it will encourage me to just keep going.
I want to be more creative and just make these videos more entertaining for you guys.
Let me know what you want to see next time and i will see you in the next video.
I appreciate you so, so much, and thank you to everybody who sent me birthday wishes on instagram.
I love you bye.
