Hey weirdos, I'm Ash.
And I'm Alayna.
And this is Morbid.
This is Morbid and it's going to be a cinematic one.
Cinematic, you say?
We're going to be talking about shark attacks.
Dun-dun-dun-dun!
Yeah, not just any shark attacks.
They're from 1916 and they're famous shark attacks.
Really?
Jersey Shore ones, in fact.
I don't know if I've heard of this.
Do you know that even when I swim in a lake, I'm terrified of getting shark attacked?
Oh, yeah.
I'm terrified of anything.
Sometimes I swim in the pool and I'm like, what if there's a shark in here?
And I'm like, what if there's that thing from that episode of Are You Afraid of the Dark in here?
I know.
That would fuck me up.
You know, go on laughing in the dark.
By the way, if you want to hear recaps of are you afraid of the dark, there you go.
We're not on it, but i'm just saying it's a good podcast and mikey's on it.
Mikey's on it and dave and dave who made this cinematic, and brian and brian and eileen we don't know, but i'm sure she's great.
Yeah, but yeah.
So i always think that thing's gonna come out.
I know, is it the dead man's float?
That's the episode.
Yep, that was always the one that really scared me, that and i'm cold.
I'm cold uh, but yeah, so this is gonna terrify you for water.
I'm scared today, just like jaws did.
We'll talk about jaws too.
We are going to talk about your house.
Yeah, but before we do that.
We have an announcement.
We have an announcement, babies.
It's kind of like an announcement that's not an announcement.
It's like a half-announcement.
It's like a get ready.
Get ready.
Just, you know, keep your eyes peeled on the Instas.
I think that's really the only social media we have.
Maybe we'll make a TikTok about it.
Probably not.
But definitely keep your eye on the Instas and this space in particular.
If you're not on the Instas, obviously we'll talk about it on the pod.
Yeah.
We're going to be announcing something pretty big.
Yeah.
Maybe something that you can attend.
Yeah, maybe.
Maybe.
Maybe you could go to.
Maybe you could go to there.
Maybe.
I don't know your life.
I don't know.
Just keep that in mind.
Just think about it.
Think about it.
For the next week or so.
Yeah.
You know, just keep it in mind.
Keep your eyes peeled.
Your ears peeled.
Keep everything peeled.
That sounds gross.
Your onions, your potatoes.
Peel it all.
Peel it all.
Peel away.
And if you're like my kids, peel your apple as well.
Peel your apple, yeah.
You know, oh yeah, there's so much fiber in it, i know i'm.
I tell them, i tell them, tell them, say tt's fiber maxing, and you should too.
Two out of three of them will eat the skin of a kiwi but not the skin of an apple.
You're supposed to eat the skin on the kiwi.
I know, i was like only a few days ago old when i found that out.
Yeah, it's really good for you, didn't know, I thought you weren't supposed to.
In fact,
I mean, it's fuzzy, so it's weird.
But, you know, eat the skin, guys.
Do it.
Live your life the way you want to live it.
And also...
If you're looking for a book to read.
Hey, I know somebody who wrote a few books.
I'm always going to tell you about it.
Always.
Always.
The third book in the series, The Butcher Legacy, you can preorder it.
And I think there's still some signed copies left at Barnes & Noble.
So if you want those, I don't know if there's any left, but if there is, go grab them.
Could be.
They might be gone.
Hunt it down.
Go hunt it down.
So go preorder it.
You can go to butcherlegacycom pre-order it wherever you want hardcover it's going to be great and get an ebook.
Audiobook news will be coming uh, and you know what's is crazy?
Some of my favorite authors of all time have given me blurbs for the book.
That's a cool fucking moment.
And they've been pretty amazing, so it's given me a big head.
I love that.
And it's just been phenomenal.
I can't wait for you guys to see what authors agreed to do it, because I am still speechless about it.
It's a big deal.
Yeah, it's blowing my mind a little bit.
Also, we're on opposite sides of the room today.
Yeah.
And, like, it didn't feel weird until right now.
Yeah.
We flip-flopped the room a little because we needed to clear the energy a bit.
It looks so good in here.
I'm so happy with the way that it came out.
Yeah.
But all of a sudden it just hit me how weird I feel.
Yeah.
Not in a bad way.
Just in a like, whoa, a whole new world.
Exactly.
You know.
You know what else was a whole new world?
Jersey.
1916.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That was a whole different world.
There you go.
Look at that segue.
Look at it.
Look at it.
Uh, so first we're going to, this is going to be cinematic.
It's going to be gruesome.
It's going to horrify you.
Okay.
But you know, here we are.
It's morbid.
So it's also going to be a two-parter because holy shit, there's a lot in this one.
I mean, this is like far past what a one-parter could do because there's just a lot.
I'm scared.
Um, and I'm going to, I'm going to give you a lot right up front so you don't have to take it.
Okay.
Let's go back to what we're all thinking about right now.
What are we all thinking about when we think of shark attacks?
Jaws?
Yeah, Jaws.
I want to watch Jaws now.
In the opening scene of Steven Spielberg's iconic.
Iconic.
1975 film Jaws, which my kids want to watch so bad and I have not let them watch it yet.
Not yet.
Two teenagers steal glances at one another from across a bonfire before coming together to go for a walk along the beach.
What could be more romantic?
I was just going to say that's romance at its peak.
Well, during their walk, one of them, Chrissy, decides she wants to go for a late night swim.
What's more romantic than that?
I'm not late night swimming.
Me neither.
So I'm not with this boy either, because the boy, having had too much to drink, stumbles and passes out on the beach.
Terrible.
Romance gone.
Yeah, romance absolutely dead.
Chrissy's like, you know what?
I'm going to take my little swim by myself.
So she goes to take the swim and she stops for a moment.
She's catching her breath.
She's looking up at the pretty night sky.
It's gorgeous.
Real moment of peace and calm and self-reflection, you know?
And then she's briefly yanked downward from something beneath her.
And this is such an, I can see this scene in my head.
Because she has this look in her face where she's like confused scared, but kind of just like a like, a like you can tell.
Is this a joke?
What the fuck was that?
She's like Ashton Kutcher.
And then she is violently dragged through the water.
Her body is whipped back and forth in this completely unnatural motion.
She's screaming in pain and terror.
And then she just disappears under the surface and we never see her again.
Bye Chrissy.
That's it.
Bye Chrissy.
The next morning, local police find a severed arm on the beach.
And it is all that's left of Chrissy.
Rip.
Damn.
What a way to begin a movie.
In the 50 years since its release.
The production and release of Jaws has definitely become the stuff of legends.
You know, an unexpected blockbuster with record profits that introduced the world to one of Hollywood's most highly decorated and widely praised directors, of course, Steven Spielberg.
The one, the only.
But we know now, pretty unintentionally introduced the world to what would become one of humankind's most feared and fearsome enemies.
Yes.
Like our arch nemesis not mine, but hopefully not yours.
But what was thought of as our arch nemesis?
The shark.
The shark.
Beginning with the moment Chrissy is dragged beneath the water to her death.
Audiences that watch Jaws spend two hours watching one of the world's oldest living animal groups be demonized and recast as a complete villain in a horror movie.
I know, poor sharks.
They really do get a bad rap.
Yeah, and it was shown as something that stalks and kills its human prey with honestly, like cunning and like malicious intentions.
I was just going to say literal intent.
Like intent.
But in reality, shark attacks are so fucking rare, guys.
Yeah.
According to the Florida Museum of Natural History, there are less than 100 shark bites bites every year, with roughly half being quote unprovoked.
Typically, that's the result of the shark mistaking a person for its normal prey.
Makes sense.
But fear of sharks and fear of shark attacks.
It's pretty understandable, of course, because they're so foreign looking to us.
You know what I mean?
It's also the whole prospect of being eaten alive.
And that's the thing that even by mistake, if I can be eaten alive, that's scary.
It's kind of a big deal.
It's kind of like hippos are scary as fuck and we should be scared of hippos.
But sharks are a totally different situation.
Like hippos fucking hate us and they want to hurt us.
They want to eat the shit out of us.
They want to eat the shit out of you.
They are pissed at you for even existing.
Sharks are not the same.
I'm so sorry.
Quick, quick little divergence here.
I was watching TikToks yesterday and this one girl I think she was in I forget where she was, but her driver was like I can cross the river in the car.
And she was like, no, you can't.
And the driver crossed the river in the car and there was hippos in the water.
No.
Isn't that horrifying?
Hippos will fuck you up.
Intentionally.
In ways you can't understand.
And they will like, they get pissed just by seeing you.
Yeah, they scare the shit out of me.
And they're fast.
And they can run really fast underwater.
I don't like, underwater they can?
They run really fast underwater.
They're like made for that?
And they swim fast.
Oh.
Those big old scary bitches can go fast.
I don't like that.
And they're fast on land.
They're scary.
Yeah, that's horrifying.
Yeah.
But sharks, not the same.
Those are two examples of things that we look at and we go holy shit, that thing is so huge and can eat me alive and that's terrifying.
One of them wants to.
One of them doesn't.
Yeah.
So, and that's the thing, like sharks are huge.
Like a lot of them are huge.
Yeah, they're real big.
They move really fast.
And even an accidental or exploratory bite by a shark can have serious consequences because they're so big and fast.
I love the concept of an exploratory bite.
Which they, that is a thing with sharks too.
They'll just be like, hmm.
Maybe.
Just a little taste test.
I just want to see if you're actually a fish.
And then they take a bite of you and they're like, oh, that wasn't what I wanted.
It's like me with a cheese plate.
I'm like, this one could be good.
Nope.
Nope.
Don't like that one.
You know?
Now, Jaws not only exploited the understandable and Actually probably pretty healthy fear of sharks, to be honest,
It exacerbated it.
Yeah, a lot.
It created a monster out of an ordinary, you know, pretty imposing though animal that has existed far longer than we have, leading to stereotypes about sharks, particularly the great white shark, that caused hordes of commercial and casual fishermen to hunt, kill and display them, without regard for their population or their ecological importance.
That's really fucked up.
Now, both Spielberg and Benchley, who were like all the people who worked on the film, they did go on to publicly state that they had a lot of regret for how they unintentionally contributed to the overfishing and general demonization of sharks.
Mm-hmm.
And they stress that Jaws is a work of fiction and shouldn't be taken as anything else.
That's like, don't be scared that like a dream demon is going to come and stalk your teenagers.
Like it's a movie.
It's a fiction.
It's so annoying when people have to explain like what should be a pretty widely understood concept.
That like fiction is fake.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But the fact is, while it is a work of fiction, there's at least one instance in American history where the stereotypes and fears inspired by Jaws were very reasonable.
So these were like intentionally angry sharks?
These are pretty gnarly.
This was called in the summer of 1916.
It was called The Summer of Blood, which is the most metal thing I've ever heard.
I've never heard of this.
Now, this summer, Americans were waiting on pins and needles to learn whether, you know, their kids were going to be called up to fight in the great war that was unfolding in Europe.
But the nation's, you know, our privileged class...
They started prepping for long summer vacations at beaches and lakes across the country.
Different vibes.
Among them was Dr Eugene Van Zandt, a widely respected physician who had come of age during the latter half of the 19th century and now was nearing retirement, and so liked to spend his summers by taking his entire family to Beach Haven in New Jersey.
Nice.
That summer felt very important to Van Zandt, with the American Medical Association calling for quote preparedness camps to train American doctors for field service.
You know, should the Americans join the fight in Europe.
Mm-hmm.
The likelihood that his oldest son Charles, who was like 23 at the time, would be called in to fight.
It was kind of becoming more inevitable with each passing day.
But for the time being at least, Dr Van Zandt wanted to make the most of the time they had and enjoy this vacation with his family.
Yeah, I totally got that.
In later years, Beach Haven residents and visitors were shocked to find, you know, all this kind of marine life that they had never seen before, being pulled from the water by amateur fishermen.
They're like, where the fuck are these coming from?
Like blue marlins, a 1,150-pound mako shark.
Those are both native to the tropics.
So people were like, where the fuck are they coming from?
They just didn't know that that's something that can happen.
Mm-hmm.
And again, no one, especially civilians, could have had any idea that, during this particular summer in 1916, a lone great white shark had become thrown off by the chaos of the Gulf Stream and found itself swimming along the New Jersey coastline, growing increasingly hungry in the absence of its typical larger prey.
That breaks my fucking heart.
So he's just alone and hungry.
Lonely and hungry?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I know this is going to get real bad, but I feel really badly for him.
Yeah.
Now, in the early afternoon of July 1st, Dr Van Zantz again 23-year-old son Charles rose from his spot on the beach and walked into the water.
Oh, no.
He basically stopped when the water reached his knees and he started playing with this Chesapeake Bay retriever.
Who was, don't worry, the dog is going to be safe.
Thank you so much.
But that's the only one that's safe.
Okay.
So they, you know, the dog was just in the water.
He was in the water.
He had grown up with dogs.
So he like instantly bonded with this dog.
Yeah.
And he had seen him on the beach.
And a family member said it seemed just normal that Charles would just like hook on to this animal and just end up playing with the animal.
Yeah.
Even at like 23.
Yeah.
So they were just running around playing together.
They were being rambunctious in the water together splashing yelling, chasing each other like adorable.
And in no time Charles had fully immersed himself in the water and was swimming after the dog, who then in turn would swim after Charles if Charles ran away.
So they were like going back and forth chasing each other.
They were just having the summer day of their lives.
Yeah.
Now, above the surface of the water, anyone could see the unmistakable signs of play and the sounds of happiness and fun that was happening with Charles and his new furry friend, as they were swimming and splashing.
But below the surface, from a distance away, the sight and sounds of Charles and the dog would have looked and sounded decidedly different.
In fact, to an animal expertly attuned to signals of distress from potential prey.
The noise and disturbance caused by Charles and the dog were exactly the type of chaos that would draw in a hungry shark.
Mm hmm.
So swimming several miles from the shore, this lone great white would certainly have received these signals being emitted by Charles and the dog.
And it would have turned into sound waves.
And then he would take those sound waves and he would follow them back to their point of origin.
That's so fucking scary.
It's crazy how they're literally just designed to hunt.
That is what is fascinating about sharks.
Very fascinating.
They're literally designed for this.
And it's not like they just hear it.
It's like sound waves.
Right.
And they can track those sound waves.
Right.
Like, what?
From below and several yards away, Charles would have appeared to the shark as a large dark shape.
Yeah.
Which is precisely the kind of prey the great white was accustomed to eating and hadn't been able to eat.
And better yet, at least from the shark's perspective, his vigorous splashing indicated distress.
Yeah.
Which meant the shark wasn't going to have to expend a lot of energy to get this prey either.
Also, according to ichthyologist George Burgess, it is widely accepted as fact that swimming with dogs is far more likely to attract the attention of a shark.
Really?
I never have heard that before.
So Burgess says the irregular swimming actions of animals are extremely attractive to sharks.
Oh.
The front paws doggy paddling, creating a maximum splash, and the rear legs bicycle pedaling.
Four rapidly moving legs make a blending motion at the surface, and it couldn't be a whole lot more attractive to a shark.
Interesting.
Of course, in 1916 neither Charles or really anybody would have known that the noise they made was all but slapping the great white shark in the face, drawing it closer and closer with more motion.
So from the beach a small crowd had gathered and they were watching Charles and the dog, kind of like play with each other.
And by then Charles had started swimming out towards the diving dock anchored about 100 yards or so from the shore.
Both he and the dog had passed all the other swimmers in the water when a cheer rose from the onlookers at the shore.
So maybe he decided, you know, they'd swim out too far, or maybe he sensed something Charles couldn't.
But for whatever reason, the dog suddenly turned and started swimming back towards the shore.
That's actually very interesting, too.
I think that's so interesting.
You have to wonder if he sent something.
Yeah.
Because dogs are so in tune.
Yeah.
And if he was trying to kind of tell him, like, why don't you follow me, bud?
Yeah, like we're getting too far.
Like, we've been following each other.
Just follow me back here.
Right.
Oh, dogs.
Yeah.
We don't deserve them.
When he realized his companion, his furry companion, had abandoned him, Charles turned and called out to the dog.
But by then the dog had reached the shore and was going up on the beach.
Wow.
That's actually, yeah, I'm very interested by that.
So Charles' sisters would remember that moment for the rest of their lives.
They watched as their brother accepted that, you know, he wasn't going to play with his dog anymore.
And he decided, okay, I'm going to head back to the beach too.
So the dog did give him a signal of some kind.
I don't think he got a distress signal.
No.
Yeah.
Clearly.
But I think he could signal something in his brain told him because we are so connected to dogs.
I feel like I agree that it's like I wonder if he was like, I'm going to follow him.
Yeah.
Go back.
Then one of the other bystanders noticed something else in the water.
A dark fin had appeared behind Charles, who was now swimming steadily towards the shore.
This always sounds like fiction.
Like whenever you hear about a shark attack and people are like, we saw the fin.
It's like.
But that's exactly what happens.
Oh my God.
And someone among the crowd shouted, watch out.
But Charles was too far out to hear them.
And even if he had, there was little he could have done.
That's the thing.
Watch out.
Like what are you going to do?
Once a great white has decided to attack, it moves with incredible speed and it bites with 4000 pounds of force.
Wow.
Jaws full of sharp, jagged teeth that are designed for tearing and ripping.
Oh.
Now, the cries from the beach grew louder, but I don't think Charles could really hear them.
His head was going from side to side and dipping below the surface as he was swimming.
According to many researchers, as the shark got close to Charles, it would have received the final indication that what it was tracking was indeed prey.
It would hear the thumping of Charles's heart as he swam.
That is diabolical.
Doesn't that just send a fucking chill down your spine?
That is dia-fucking-bolical.
This is like in the sinking of the Indianapolis.
With the plates.
With the plates that they could pick it up over the sonar.
Just the clinking of a plate together.
Hunting in general and like the, Just the different, or just like things that we're like predisposed with.
Yeah.
Does that make sense?
Yeah.
Like, it's just so crazy.
Evolution is insane.
It really is.
You just can't conceive of this kind of shit.
And it's fascinating to me.
It is.
I mean, you could...
I could just do a hundred different episodes of this podcast on like predators.
Yeah.
And maybe we should because it's really, really interesting.
We could start a new series.
Like a predator series.
The show in and of itself is about predators.
Yeah, exactly.
Like animal predators.
Like the fact that it gets closer to him, and then the last little clink of like okay, this is prey that I'm following, is it can hear his heartbeat.
Like something about that just sent me.
Now, if Charles had looked down at that moment, he would have seen his own shadow reflected off the sandy ocean floor, because he wasn't that deep anymore.
Oh, I hate that he wasn't even that deep anymore.
And he would have seen beside him something much larger.
But by that point, Charles was swimming in a little over three feet of water.
I think that happens actually pretty frequently, which is fucking terrifying.
It does.
And the shore was very much in reach.
But by then, it was too late.
The crowd on the beach watched in horror as the shark exploded out of the water and grabbed Charles' left leg just below the knee.
Charles let out a scream that could be heard as far away as the resort tennis courts.
Wow.
As the water around him turned from just nice greenish blue to dark churning red.
Because again, what did you say?
4,000 pounds of just force.
Yeah, of bite force.
That's crazy.
According to author Michael Capuzzo, it is common for shark attack victims to experience painless torture, to greatly underestimate the severity of their wounds, which you see a lot.
Painless torture.
Because you go into shock, I think, almost immediately.
In that moment, Charles would have surely had no idea what was happening and he probably wouldn't have felt a lot of any pain.
A lot or any pain.
He would however, have realized that something had grabbed him and was trying to drag him under the water.
And his instincts would have been to fight hard to get away, obviously.
From the beach, the crowd watched in disbelief as Charles struggled with the shark to free himself.
But his struggle only caused the animal to bite down harder.
Yeah.
It had made the calculated decision to attack, and it wouldn't have done so if it wasn't fully intending on keeping its prey.
Once it makes the decision, it's going to be hard for it to end.
Louise Van Zandt, his sister, said everyone was horrified to see my brother thrashing about in the water as if he were struggling with some monster under the surface.
Which must have been fucking terrifying to watch.
And you can't, what can you do?
That's the thing.
I was just sitting here thinking that exact thought.
What do you do?
This freaks me out even more.
So just as suddenly as it had started, the attack stopped.
Holy shit.
The shark didn't retreat entirely.
Instead, it was hovering nearby, watching as its prey was pulled away, as though it might attack again.
Today, and this is fucking crazy.
This behavior is understood as basically, it's one of the great whites, especially more common tactics.
It inflicts a very serious bite, like it goes hard first, then it waits for the around the prey and it waits for the prey to slow or stop altogether.
Because that ensures that it expends no more energy than necessary.
Wow.
So to inflict that insane bite, incapacitate the prey, watch as it bleeds out or just at least slows down where they don't have to fight with it.
And then it will go back in because it's like, I don't want to expend any more energy on this.
Wow.
So it was sitting there watching them pull him away being like, no, like leave him there.
I'm waiting for him to stop.
So it's like confused.
Isn't that fucking crazy?
It is.
It is.
Now, at that time, the behavior was so fucking eerie to these people.
Everyone who saw this was like, it's just fucking sitting there watching.
It's watching us, like stalking.
Yeah, like just watching what it had set in motion here, just seeing how it panned out.
Essentially is what it looked like.
Now, by the time the first swimmer, Alexander Ott, reached Charles in the water, the shark had now vanished from sight after he got there.
Interesting, okay.
Although they didn't know it at the time, or at least hadn't given much thought about it, the decision to enter the bloody water after an active shark attack was very courageous and very dangerous to do.
Ott had just grabbed Charles under his arm and was pulling him to shore when he felt a hard tug pull it backwards.
Oh, fuck.
The shark had returned because he was waiting.
Uh-huh.
And this time it had grabbed Charles tightly by the thigh and was attempting to pull him under.
Oh, fuck.
Ott immediately found himself in a tug of war, as a line of men created a human chain into the water for Ott to grab onto.
The men managed to get Charles to the beach with the shark following the entire way.
It appeared to many, they said, as though the shark was going to come out of the water and onto the beach.
I was just going to say, was the shark like beached?
Yeah, they literally were like, it looked like it was about to start walking onto the beach.
Holy fuck.
Like that's how closely it was following.
One observer said the shark held on until it scraped bottom.
Wow.
Then it let go and swam away.
Wow yeah, i can't imagine watching this from the beach, like well, i obviously can't imagine to experience experiencing that, but watching it, i would never, ever get in the body of water ever again.
I don't think i'd ever go to the beach again.
No honestly, i don't like the beach anyways, but i definitely wouldn't like the beach.
No, because it would just be so traumatizing.
But you hear about people that literally have been attacked by sharks and get right back in the water.
Yeah, Which like insane, like insane, like good.
Like surfers, like that girl who got her fucking arm.
Soul surfer.
She got her arm bitten off and it's back to surfing.
I was just talking to Drew about that movie.
That's wild that you said that.
Every so often in the shower I'll just wash my hair with like one arm and like try to do things with one arm, because I remember that movie after she got attacked and just like the struggles that she had to overcome.
Yeah. you don't think about how difficult it is to do something with just one arm.
Yeah.
Like, it's bonkers.
And then to go back to, I'm sorry, I'm not that...
I'm not that brave.
Also, surfing with one arm, it's all about balance.
Yeah.
I can't imagine how hard that would be.
Outrageous.
Now on the beach, everyone stood around Charles in a complete state of shock, pretty stunned by what they just witnessed, and they gathered around him to try to provide aid or just to see what the fuck was going on.
When she got close enough to see her brother, Louise Van Zandt fainted.
She said his leg was completely mangled, missing large chunks of muscle and flesh, like just gone.
Oh.
From the parlor of the resort, Dr Eugene Van Zandt rushed down the boardwalk and onto the beach, where he found his son crumpled on the sand with blood pouring out of massive wounds on his leg.
What a great time to be a doctor, though.
But Dr. Van Zandt dropped down beside him, and he's determined to save his son's life.
He's a doctor.
Yeah.
But they were far from any hospital or medical facility of any kind, and he lacked even the most basic supplies that he needed here.
I mean, you're at the beach.
You're on vacation.
Yeah.
More than that, never in Dr Van Zandt's career had he seen wounds like the ones Charles had sustained.
And he said he didn't even know where to begin to stop the bleeding.
He didn't even know where to put anything.
Well, because like you said, his leg is like mangled.
Yeah, he said it was coming from everywhere.
That's the thing.
It's not like it's just clean cut off.
Exactly.
Alexander Ott began like women were tearing things, pieces of fabric, from their dresses and giving them to alexander in order to tie off the limb and try to like staunch any of the blood flow.
And in the meantime, dr van zant had been joined by two other doctors who happened to be on the beach.
Wow, what are the odds.
But like van zant himself, neither of them knew what they could do because again, they don't even know where to stop the bleeding either.
You're also on the fucking beach.
Yeah, exactly.
Sand, all that shit too.
So they carried Charles up to the hotel where at least they would have a clean surface and soap and water to try to clean.
He has like sand and shit in the wound.
They laid him on the desk in the manager's office, but despite the makeshift tourniquets and the heavy bleeding was just continuing.
And there under the lamplight in the office, Dr Van Zant just had to watch helplessly as his son bled to death.
Oh, my God.
Little did they know, though it would be just the first of such deaths that were going to occur that July.
Oh, no.
Now, for as long as humans have been going into the ocean, there have been shark attacks, even though they are very rare.
Yeah, they still happen.
But the attack on Charles Van Zandt was among the first, if not the first time such an attack had been witnessed by such a large group of people on shore.
Like, I think this might have been the first time.
I wonder, like this is going to sound so ridiculous, but I wonder like when going to the beach became a thing.
No, it's true.
Do you know what I mean?
I'm going to Google it.
Who looked at sand next to water and was like that seems like it would be the most luxurious thing on earth.
Like, I want to know who thought that.
When did going to the beach...
Actually, that's a very good question.
Do you know what I mean?
Become popular.
In the mid to late 18th and 19th centuries.
All right.
So we're kind of early in the beach days.
Yeah.
You know?
Yeah.
We're still trying to figure out this beach thing here.
It seems like for leisure, though, it actually was around the 1920s.
So this makes perfect sense.
Oh, yeah.
So this is like really...
And then apparently the 60s were considered the golden age of beach culture.
Oh, yeah.
Because that's like where those beach party movies are, you know, like Moondoggy and all that.
The Beach Boys was nothing short of traumatic and immediately attracted the attention of the press, drawing reporters from New York and Philadelphia, as well as the Associated Press.
Michael Capuzzo wrote.
The number of people who witnessed the attack seemed to grow by the hour, because actual witnesses came in, but they were joined by countless others who claimed to have seen it happen.
That's so fucked up.
Why would you even...
Why would you pretend like you saw that?
Don't insert yourself into a tragedy.
Yeah, I don't want to pretend like I saw that.
To those who actually witnessed the attack, there was no denying what had done it.
They may not have known what kind of shark it was, but the shape of its body and the sight of its mouth was no doubt a shark.
Others though, minimize the seriousness of the incident, claiming it could have been a large tuna or even a great sea turtle.
Y'all.
When the fuck have you seen that happen?
Never.
Never.
A great tuna?
A great tuna.
Guys.
Guys, hello?
A great big tuna.
I don't know about that.
Now, despite the conflicting theories, the coroner joined the consensus and listed Charles' death as which this was definitely it hemorrhage from femoral artery.
Yeah.
Which was the result of being bitten by a shark while bathing.
It was the first time in American history that a shark bite appeared on a death certificate.
Wow.
Isn't that crazy?
It is.
Dr Vincent confirmed the coroner's report in the witness statements describing the animal that killed his son as being, quote nine feet long and weighed probably 500 pounds.
Damn.
Now, the attack on Vincent had been entirely unprovoked and should have warranted at least a warning of caution to beachgoers.
But what they got was pretty much the opposite.
In an article published the following day, New Jersey Fish Commissioner, which like... Pause.
Imagine being... I know that's like a real thing.
Yeah.
What a title to behold.
The Fish Commissioner?
The New Jersey Fish Commissioner.
I would just call myself the Fish Commish.
I was just going to say that!
You literally were in my head!
Holy shit, I was going to be like the New Jersey Fish Commish.
I'm the Fish Commish.
Like...
I'm the commission fish.
If you are currently the New Jersey fish commissioner and you do not call yourself the New Jersey fish commission, what are you doing?
I hope this reaches the New Jersey fish commission.
Please.
Please become the New Jersey Fish Commission.
I'm obsessed.
So this New Jersey Fish Commission, James Meehan, told a reporter, despite the death of Charles Van Zandt and the report, that two sharks had been caught in the vicinity recently, I do not believe there's any reason why people should hesitate to go in swimming at beaches for fear of man-eaters.
But one of them ate a man.
So I think you should be a little worried about that.
Also, how could you not be?
Is self-preservation not a thing?
And also, you just listed all the reasons why we should be a little hesitant.
You said that there was an attack where someone died and then two sharks were caught.
I feel like those are all very valid reasons to not go in there.
Pretty freaked out by that fish commish.
Yeah.
Now, it would have done little good for them to terrify beachgoers, especially during the area's most profitable time of the year.
Yeah, I was going to say July.
But Fish Commish Meehan went a step further, minimizing the attack and the repeated shark sightings from fishermen in the area.
He said, in the first place, the information in regards to the sharks is indefinite.
And from what I have read, I should hardly believe that young Van Zant was attacked by a man-eater.
What do you think he was attacked by then?
He was a man and he was eaten.
Correct.
By something in the sea.
And also, like, indefinite?
No, he died.
No, he died.
And also, how fucking terrible to the family.
Yeah, to minimize that?
To just be like, I don't know.
Yeah.
Fuck you.
He went on to theorize that it was probably a small shark that had become trapped in the surface and in passing it had quote snapped at Van Zandt.
Snapped and bit his leg off, resulting in death?
Like, that's not a snap, babe.
And further emphasized the message that there was no need to exercise any additional risk.
Wow.
In fact, the commissioner assured readers that any sharks in the area were wanderers and harmless.
So there was no need to be concerned.
He essentially said, the sharks just chilling.
And he said, XOXO, fish commish.
Fish commish.
Under most circumstances, he probably would have been right, obviously.
Yeah, they're rare.
You don't need to be horribly fearful of sharks.
You need to be alert and you need to be knowledgeable and you need to be listening and aware of your surroundings and look up what sharks think think are fish and shit.
I think it's also one of those things like i'm thinking like, how do you not have self-preservation?
Why would you go in the water after this happened?
But i think it's one of those things where people say like okay well, that just happened, so the probability that it's gonna happen again turns out.
The odds are uh pretty good that they're gonna happen again.
Now, on the afternoon of July 6th, 27-year-old Charles Bruder, a manager with the Essex and Sussex Hotel, was eager to show off his swimming skills for the bellhops who worked under him at the hotel.
Obsessed.
He had gained a reputation as one of the strongest swimmers at the hotel and, having the morning off, he had hoped to demonstrate those skills publicly.
Listen.
I get it.
Well, and even more, two other hotel employees had beaten his record that afternoon.
So he was like, no, this can't stand.
No, it cannot.
So by that time, the news of the attack on Charles Van Zandt and it's weird that his name is Charles as well
I was also thinking that.
It is the early 1900s, so I think everyone's name was Charles.
The news had reached Spring Lake, about 45 miles from Beach Haven.
About 45 miles.
Yeah.
And just that morning the staff had been discussing the story but Charles Bruder dismissed the concerns because he was like I've.
You know, I've gone swimming off the coast of California in previous summers and I've seen much larger and more imposing sharks than the one described by the press.
So he's like, it's fine.
We have nothing to fear.
In fact he had worked for a resort in Los Angeles the previous summer and he was an avid fisherman and outdoorsman, so there was probably a lot of truth to that.
He probably had seen bigger sharks and probably even swam in water that had bigger sharks in it.
But also perhaps different kinds of sharks.
Well, that's in.
Just because you've seen bigger ones and they didn't eat you doesn't mean you shouldn't exercise a little caution.
Yeah, that's just good luck doll, because but again during this time period so little was known about sharks feeding habits and like the ecological shit about it, that like why they're here, why this one could be here, how hungry it could be, how confused it could be right.
That's important to highlight.
That afternoon, Bruder headed down to the bathhouses on the beach and changed into a swimwear.
He was like, I'm going to reclaim this fucking title.
Let's go.
That day, he had hoped to go for a four-mile swim, which is insane, but he didn't have the time, so he decided to focus on speed rather than distance.
Along with two other bellhops, he entered the water in the Essex and Sussex's South End Bathing Pavilion and began putting on a show for the small group of onlookers.
I'm sorry, but bathing pavilion is horrifying to me.
Right, doesn't it sound gross?
Bathing pavilion?
It really does.
From the beach.
The group watched as Bruder swam straight out into the deeper waters, dipping below the safety ropes and popping up on the other side.
Now.
Just a few days earlier, a major storm had swept through the area and it had churned up the water.
But on that day, everything was clear and sunny.
According to Michael Capuzzo, and this is a quote, Dang.
Which, like, he is not a creature of the sea.
I was just going to say, he's a human.
Yeah.
As he swam, his limbs slapped the surface of the water, causing small rippling waves out into the ocean.
It's unlikely that he knew it at the time, but his movements, much like Van Zant's when he was playing with the dog, were very similar to those of a fish or other marine life in distress.
Basically exactly the type of commotion a shark would recognize from miles away and come on down to investigate.
Oh.
From their position on the shore, the spectators wouldn't have been able to see anything but the outline of Bruder as he swam.
But Bruder himself, consumed with his performance, because he's trying to win his title back.
He's a winner.
He surely never saw the great white stalking him at all.
Without warning, the shark struck from behind with incredible violent force in what witnesses later described as quote a massive spray of water rising out of the ocean.
In that moment, a woman on the beach alerted the lifeguards, telling them the man in the red canoe is upset.
But when they looked, they saw no canoe.
It was only later that it occurred to the lifeguards that the red canoe was in fact a massive spray of blood that had rapidly spread across the surface of the water.
Oh, fuck.
She thought he was in a red canoe.
Holy shit.
The two lifeguards Captains, George White and Chris Anderson, grabbed their small rescue boat and charged into the water, because lifeguards are badass.
They really are.
By then, the shark had completely removed one of Bruder's legs.
Oh.
And by the time they reached him in the water, the animal had managed to rip the other leg from Bruder's body.
Sending him, quote, pinwheeling above the surface of the sea with incredible force.
Pinwheeling.
I can't even really picture that.
As they attempted to grab Bruder and pull him into the boat, the shark charged again, grabbing Charles at his abdomen and pulling him down under the water before he emerged again.
And to the surprise of the lifeguards, Charles Bruder... managed to shout a shark bit me.
Holy shit.
So they managed to get a hold of him and lift him onto the boat.
Wow.
And they were surprised by how light he was.
But, of course, once they got him in the boat, they realized he was so easy to come from the water because there was very little of him to lift from the water.
Oh, how horrible.
As they carefully laid him on the floor of the boat, they realized he was missing both legs.
Both were ripped off at the knees and there was a huge chunk missing from his stomach.
Oh fuck, needing to stop the bleeding and get help immediately, one of the men rowed frantically back to the shore, while the other pulled off his shirt and started tearing strips to tie the wounds.
Also, how fucking terrifying to be in that boat.
I can't even fathom this.
That shark could just eat that whole boat.
Yeah, look what he just did.
Unfortunately, the carnage was just too great and the wounds too severe to stop with strips of fabric.
I mean, a chunk missing from your stomach and two missing legs.
Despite the massive, this is, this blows my mind.
And this is, for this man, I wish this was not true.
Because, despite all of it, the massive damage he sustained and the copious amounts of blood just pouring from him, he remained conscious throughout the entire ordeal.
And even managed to describe the shark for lifeguards and wait until you hear how he describes it.
And picture him in your head, what he is going through.
He said, he was a big gray fellow and rough as sandpaper.
He cut me here in the side and his belly was so rough it bruised my face and arms.
He's a big fellow and awfully hungry.
Oh.
I don't know why that just like breaks my heart.
Not the shark being a fellow.
He's a big fellow.
And he's awfully hungry.
Even he was like, he's very hungry.
Like, holy shit.
This is just devastating.
And when he finished speaking, he closed his eyes and finally lost consciousness.
By the time the boat had reached the shore, he was dead.
Yeah.
Now, even to those familiar with the behavior of sharks, it seemed unlikely that one would travel such a long distance in a relatively short amount of time just to find food, when there was plenty of fish in the beach haven area.
Did it have anything to do with the storm?
That could definitely be it.
But in the wake of Bruder's death it was impossible for anyone reporters and beachgoers the same to ignore that there was a connection here between the beach haven attack and the attack on Charles Bruder.
They were like, this can't be two different sharks.
Also, there was something about these attacks that seemed atypical.
Because in most cases of shark attacks, humans are bitten when they are mistaken for the shark's natural food source or because they have provoked the attack.
In these cases though, it seemed like the animal was actively stalking human prey, striking again and again, long after it would have realized it had bitten into something other than a seal or food.
Do you think it just didn't care at that point because it was so hungry?
I think that might have been it because that is very atypical for a shark.
Once it realizes you're a human, nine times out of ten it's really not going to want to continue.
Interesting, like it's you did that's i mean like soul surfer, like it's like that it's an.
That's what an exploratory bite is.
It's a bite to be like oh shit, this is yeah.
And then it's like oh, you know what i mean.
Like oh, that's not what i usually go for.
And yeah, maybe in a small amount of the time it'll make the the decision to just keep going, but nine times out of ten it doesn't want to.
I wonder if in this case and it sounds like crazy, but I wonder if in this case, it was out of desperation
Yeah, it was just so hungry.
Right.
But like you said, there's fish elsewhere, but maybe not big enough.
But if it sees something big, you know.
Because they, I mean, I think great whites attack seal populations.
Yeah.
And I'm sure these people like from their point of view look like seals.
Mm-hmm.
Now, unlike the previous attack, the attack on Charles Bruder inspired a panic, not just to everyone in the water and on the beach that day, but those staying at resorts and vacation spots all over Jersey Shore.
Because you're literally going to enjoy the shore.
Yeah.
At Spring Lake where the attack occurred, armed lifeguards patrolled the waters just beyond the safety ropes.
And the village administration also approved the use of heavy mesh wire netting which was run all along the bathing area near the Essex and Sussex Hotel.
Oh, that's like so inhumane.
I know.
In other places.
Bathers and swimmers became hypervigilant, with some choosing to stay out of the water altogether which, like yeah, in ashbury park, a lifeguard in a surf boat told reporters he encouraged a large shark about 12 feet long while patrolling the bathing area of the beach, which he drove off by hitting it on the snout with his oar.
Mean, i know the scene was witnessed by several people on the shore who saw the lifeguard slapping at the water with his oars right before he returned to the beach to warn the bathers.
I mean, at least he was like trying to deter him, he's just trying to get him away.
You know, despite the precautions put in place by state and local authorities, many swimmers remained wary of going too far out in the water.
One local journalist wrote expert opinion has been freely offered and much of it has been contradictory and largely related to fiction, and there's been considerable speculation here today as to whether it was really a shark that attacked charles bruder at spring lake Guys.
Guys.
It was a shark.
Both times.
In fact, just like the Van Zandt attack, many people found it hard to believe that a shark something that existed, more especially at this point in time.
Because you have to remind yourself of the time period for sure.
1916.
Sharks existed more in the imagination of people than in real life.
Which is wild.
Like people were just like running around seeing sharks.
They couldn't believe that it had done something so horrific that that's the outcome.
They chose instead to believe which I don't really understand this part.
They chose to believe that the attack was something more common and familiar, like a fucking tuna or a big turtle.
A turtle.
Yeah, I don't know about that.
Neither of which was known to rip people limb from limb without provocation.
Right.
So I don't know why that felt more comfortable for everybody.
It doesn't feel more comfortable for me to lay my head at night thinking a turtle did that.
No, definitely not.
Or a large tuna.
A large tuna is almost scarier.
Yeah.
I just think of The Office, too, because Andy calls Jim Big Tuna.
Yeah.
And then at one point he wants to get his attention.
He just goes, large tuna.
And I just think of it every time I hear this.
I'm just like, I'm now just thinking of like Jim Halpert out in the sea biting people.
Just nom noming.
Yeah.
Now like a scene pulled straight from Jaws.
Many decades later, the panic and fear inspired by the shark attacks grew quickly from a whisper to a full fucking fever pitch, to the point that it became an actual material threat to the resorts and local businesses.
I mean, yeah, that makes sense.
They were fearing that reservations were going to be canceled.
Right.
And, to their credit, many within the local press did do their best to report the facts in like a calm and rational tone.
Yeah. reminding visitors that the appearance of sharks near the shore was very rare.
The Ashbury Park Press reminded readers, never in the history of local bathing have sharks been known to frequent the bathing waters.
But every precaution to ensure safety of the bathers will be taken.
Now, despite the reasonable attempts to protect the bathers and the relatively even tone on the matter from the press, the public's fear of sharks was only growing, especially following the brooder attack.
A writer for the New York Times wrote By that point.
Whether they would or wouldn't attack a human seemed like a settled matter, so several news outlets shifted their attention to how swimmers could protect themselves.
Okay.
The Times quoted one sailor as saying, No.
Apparently, it never occurred to the sailor that it was precisely that behavior that had drawn the shark to Van Zant and Bruder in the first place which again, we didn't know anything right.
So i think they're probably thinking of it like a fucking bear.
Yeah, if you just like make noise bang bang clang, clang.
No, like if you do that to a i mean, not all bears react to that.
I was literally just gonna say like black bears, i think, because black bears are more scared of you.
If you do that to a grizzly bear, it'll rip your face off, will fuck you up.
No matter what you do, You stand still, it kills you.
You come across a grizzly bear, rest in peace, my friend.
I don't know any advice to tell you.
But you know what?
I pick the grizzly bear.
Oh, yeah.
In that whole scenario, I pick the grizzly bear.
But if black bear, we have black bears all over the place.
I actually saw one last summer.
They're so fucking cute.
They're really cute.
Luckily, I was in the comfort of my car and passing by.
You don't ever want to go near one.
No, leave them alone.
You want to get the fuck out of there.
You don't want to deal with the bear.
But they don't want to deal with you either.
No.
It was actually a baby that I saw.
Oh my, oh yeah.
You want to stay the fuck away from that.
I sure did.
I was in my car and we kept driving, but I was like, oh my God.
Oh my God.
The girls will never in our lives forgive John's ignorance to that fact.
So funny.
We were driving down, we were in the Berkshires, actually visiting the Berkshires, and we saw a baby bear, a black bear out the like, in the woods right next to our car, when we were like, parked somewhere.
Yeah.
And John, John loves it.
A furry creature.
He got out of the car and was like, oh, my God, look at this cute girl.
You're like, get in the car, get in the car.
And all three of the girls were like da-da, he's like it's a baby, and i was like exactly, i didn't even have to say it.
All three of my kids were like mama's around getting the bear, like they were like get in the fucking car.
It's like a bluey episode to this day.
They're like remember when dad got out of the car and wanted to say hi to a baby bear, when you know the mom was around and would have eaten him.
Or when the dogs went like after something and john went after them yeah, like into a creek by himself, into a creek Just out there.
A casual crick.
I'm trying to call him.
I'm like, he's going to die in a crick somewhere.
And the girls are like, he didn't even bring his phone.
I know.
We're all just like, Jesus.
One thing about the girls is they will read John to filth.
Poor John.
It's the best.
John is both the luckiest and the unluckiest man.
Because he lives in a house.
It is my three daughters, me, two girl dogs, and my mother-in-law.
He has not won, and he loves it.
I was going to say, that's why he's such a good guy, though.
Yeah, he would have it no other way, but damn, can we all get got fun.
You know what, though?
Shout out to all dads, but shout out to the girl dads.
Yeah, shout out to all dads, and shout out to the girl dads, because you're a special breed.
It's true.
You know?
It's true.
And we give him so much shit, and he takes it.
I love it.
Shout out to John.
And sometimes he even gets me giving him shit.
Yeah.
I know.
The girls the other day, they were like, Dada, what does Titi call you?
And he goes, mostly like Brunkle or Jonathus.
And oh, Dad when she needs help.
Yeah, Dad when she needs help.
I always call John Dad when I need help because he'll always go ashlina, ashlina.
I'm like okay dad sorry, like dad, i don't know what to do.
I saw this.
Wait, just one more fucking side tangent before we get there.
I saw this tiktok the other day.
That was like me, since i've known my brother-in-law since i was nine years old, and i was like that's literally me and it's like fighting with your brother-in-law.
You're like whatever, my longest standing family.
Yes literally, I love it.
I love that a lot anyway.
Well, elsewhere in New Jersey and New York, others were taking more extreme measures to solve the problem.
This upsets me.
Tell me they didn't shoot them.
Fishermen set out in droves to hunt and kill anything that even resembled a shark.
One reporter wrote, Here's the thing.
The ocean isn't ours.
It's not ours.
The ocean isn't ours.
We're lucky they let us the fuck in there in the first place.
Go swim in a lake.
Truly.
Go jump in a puddle.
I know.
Fill up your bathtub.
Me?
I know my place.
The ocean's not mine.
The ocean is not my place.
I also recently heard that there's black holes in the ocean.
That's the fucking weirdest and scariest thing I've ever heard in my life.
I don't know if it's fact because I did hear it on TikTok.
Probably not.
But honestly.
Let me confirm.
The fact that I have to sit there and say.
Question it.
Could be true.
I'm going to ask.
Because I don't think anything is impossible in the ocean.
No, we don't know enough about the ocean.
I think the ocean is so much scarier than space.
Okay, so there are no, and this is from Google.
There are no literal astronomical black holes in the ocean.
Yeah, I was going to say there can't be links.
But scientists have discovered massive ocean eddies that act very similar to them.
Which makes sense.
These powerful swirling whirlpools, particularly found in the Southern Ocean and the Gulf of Mexico, create coherent boundaries that trap water and debris, preventing anything from escape.
Yeah, no.
So that's, it's like an ocean black hole.
That really is.
Ocean black holes, whirlpools, trenches.
Yeah.
No.
No.
It's not for me.
It's not.
I know that.
You can barely drive on the road anymore without there being sinkholes.
I respect it.
Something's up.
I really do.
Something's up.
Something's up.
Now, by July 11th, the waters around the Jersey Shore were teeming with boats, either filled with lifeguards or fishermen, all keeping their eyes firmly on the surface of the water.
That's not nice.
The nets and patrols gave the illusion of safety, while the boats and fishermen suggested the waters were safe for everyone and there was nothing to fear.
The truth though, was that, despite the massive crowds of fishermen on the water, not a single one caught anything during this period.
In fact, as they would come to learn, sometimes the illusion of safety isn't good enough, and what they really should have done was advised everyone to get the fuck out of the water until the problem was solved.
Close the water.
And that's where we're going to leave you for part one.
Because part two, we have a whole other series of attacks called the Matawan Creek attacks.
Oh.
Not a crick.
We were just talking about cricks.
We were just talking about a crick, and now we're going to be in a crick.
See, our side quest worked out.
And we have more attacks coming.
Wow, this was really, really sad in every possible way that it could be.
And fascinating, like truly fascinating that bit about the heartbeat.
I never knew that before and i've never.
Oh my god, i just said shart week.
I think i've watched a shit ton of shart week.
I swear, i think that's what i just said and it took me a minute too.
I think you did say shart week, shart week, not shark week.
It's like greek hazing is shark week.
Okay, holy shit.
Oh man, i've watched a shit ton of shark week.
Me too.
I love shark week, but i don't think i've ever heard that fact that they hear your heartbeat and they're like game on, like game on.
I'm here.
Yeah, it really is.
That kind of stuff is always the most fascinating to me where it's like When, like when it's just like something so biological and like evolutionary that just like you can't even conceive of that.
They can just like hear your heartbeat underwater.
It's wild.
Like, going underwater, you can't hear someone's heartbeat, but those fuckers can.
Yeah, they can.
And to know that something I think it's like so scary to know something else has something over you.
Yeah evolution evolution, wise.
You know what i mean.
Like like, that fact is like, oh we, no respect, like i'm just like that's when i go, i don't belong in here, i don't belong in this water.
I firmly believe the ocean's not for us, it's not, it's certainly not for me.
I love to look at it.
Oh yeah, you can.
That's the thing, look at it.
Yeah, i will look at it, I will wave to it.
Respect.
If you want to go in the ocean, by all means, go in the ocean.
But respect it because it's not for you.
Yeah.
Just make sure you're respecting it.
Because fuck, the ocean is the ocean.
The ocean is the ocean.
And we're, you know, part two, it's going to get, it's going to get crazy.
It is going to get crazy.
But we'll have a resolution.
Do you have a fun fact?
I do have a fun fact.
Mikey texted us one about bananas.
Mikey found an iconic banana.
I'm obsessed with this fact.
I hope you guys don't know it.
So humans share about 60% of their DNA with bananas.
Does that make you feel kind of weird about eating bananas?
A little bit.
You know what I'm saying?
Also, there's an episode of Kif that is one of the funniest episodes of anything I've ever seen.
Which one is it?
I think it's called The Rotten Banana.
I haven't seen it.
And it's about a sentient banana.
Stop.
Who like tries to take Kif over and like it's one of the funniest things i've ever seen.
If your kids honestly, if you're not watching kiff yeah, we've said i think we've talked about it once before, but i'm telling you, go watch the rotten banana.
We had a whole sleepover at my house for the girls recently and it was all kiff themed and it was one of the best sleepovers we've ever had.
Hell yeah, it was.
Yeah, it was like hell yeah, um.
So yeah, we hope you keep listening and we hope you keep Weird.
But not so weird that you morph into a banana because you're already pretty fucking close.
You're real close.
Careful.
And respect the ocean.
Respect the ocean.
And sharks.
And shark meat.
