You're listening to Tales from the Cloud Sea, an improvised comedy adventure podcast where kids are at the helm.
Everything you're about to hear is completely made up on the spot.
No script, no plan, no rules.
Tales from the Cloud Sea.
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There's a new transmission Coming through in a world where mischief's near No time for panic on the old Skytanic, So let's set sail for a new frontier.
Tales from the Cloud Sea.
The stories made up spontaneously To welcome aboard.
There's a world to explore.
Tales from the Cloud Sea.
Tales from the Cloud Sea.
Prepare for episode 14 Surviving on Ryman Island.
Your eyes are blue.
And one plus one equals two.
And you have my heart.
And that's a great place to start.
Yeah.
Knock, knock, knock.
Hey, Arthur?
Are you in here?
Yeah, I'm just... What's going on?
I'm folding my clothes.
What's that piece of paper under your clothes?
Oh, it's just a paper shirt that I'm folding.
Oh, cool.
It looks like it has writing on it.
Is it graphic tea?
It's... Yeah, it's a... Wait, those are words.
Hey, Arthur.
Okay, shut the door.
Arthur.
Okay, shut the door.
Arthur.
Okay.
Shut the blinds.
Okay.
Close the curtains.
Okay.
Shit, my drawer, because I forgot to close it.
Oh, you've got to remember to close it.
Okay.
Okay.
I'm writing a poem for Kelsey.
It's so beautiful.
Oh, really?
Thanks.
I've been working on it for like two days.
It is awesome.
Her eyes are brown, though.
Shoot.
Yeah, but it's beautiful, but I like where you're going.
You could rhyme brown with stuff.
Okay, um, your eyes are brown just like a crown that a queen would wear, and she's going to town.
Does that sound good?
That sounds great!
Well... Because remember, we knew a queen named Kelsey, and she did go into town.
That's true!
Well, maybe you could give me the next line.
Oh, um, when I see you, my heart is aflame.
Oh, yeah.
When I see you, my heart is a flame.
It's your true beauty that is to blame.
Oh.
Yeah, you write that down.
Okay, I got it.
I thought I'd come in your room real fast.
What's going on?
What are you working on?
Hey, Dad.
Just folding clothes.
A little homework help going on over here?
Arthur has a paper shirt.
Well, hold on a second.
I've written a lot of love poems in my time and I think I recognize a love poem when I see one for Kelsey Dad.
But you have to keep it a secret.
You can't tell anybody.
Oh, isn't that cute?
Dad, come on.
Don't tell Janice, because she'll tell Kelsey's mom.
Knock, knock, knock.
Oh, sorry, sorry.
Out of the window.
Oh, I was walking by and you know what I heard?
Poetry.
Janice was kind enough to volunteer to look for some wood rot on the side of the house.
So she was climbing the trellis.
But, you know, I had given her the okay for that because she knows a lot about wood rot.
I majored in poetry.
Wink, wink, Arthur.
And I minored in wood rot.
Well, I minored in brain rot.
Nice.
It's just something my dad says every now and then.
No, you majored in chore bot.
Oh, yeah, chore bot.
Listen, I was having a private meeting with Amelia and I think it'd be great if everyone just left now.
Yeah, if you could respect our privacy.
Oh, sure.
Yeah, you don't need any help with the poem there, buddy?
We don't mind.
Well, maybe one of you could stay.
Yeah, I mean, we could use a third one.
Okay, I'll stay.
A woman's touch.
All right, all right.
Well, I'll leave you to it.
But, you know, if you need some rhymes, I'll just be right downstairs.
You kids don't know this, but your dad is actually a bit of a rapper.
He was about to rhyme, I think.
Yeah, do that rap you did at the neighborhood karaoke party.
Oh, yeah.
Well, sometimes I do a little freestyling.
Yeah, just give me a topic and I'll show you how it works.
Stairs.
Yeah, stairs.
Go down the stairs.
Jump down in pairs.
Don't break your leg or you'll be impaired.
See, that was three rhymes.
That was like an A, A, blank A. So you're kind of bundling rhymes.
And that third line, you could rhyme later on.
Wow, do one for Scruffles.
Look over there at Scruffles, smelling for truffles.
Don't be a bad dog, don't get in trouble.
That's a near rhyme, but that's acceptable when you're styling.
That's short for freestyling.
Yeah, maybe we do need Janice's help.
Yeah, just if you want to stay.
No, you know what?
I think it's good to get a woman's perspective and a rapper man's perspective.
All right, look.
I've got a rhyming dictionary down in the basement.
I'm going to go dig it up.
I'll be right back.
Oh, that's a good idea.
There's also RhymeZone.com.
I also wanted to say that for a love poem, what you might want is some nice paper, some ink and a beautiful pen, so that you really show not only with your words but your penmanship.
Thank you, Janice.
I'm going to go grab that and a little perfume.
Why?
You can spray it anyways.
It's called White Shoulders.
She'll love it.
Okay?
White Shoulders.
Yes.
I'll be back.
I'll be right back.
Sounds great.
And your dad will be back and we'll help you.
Thanks, Janice.
Okay, cool.
Thanks, June.
It sounds great.
I'm so excited.
Family project.
Okay, you can go back out the window if you want.
Do you think white shoulders means you have a lot of dandruff?
That's what I think when I hear it.
It's just like, why are my shoulders so white?
Like they're covered in like.
I know.
I do want to say though, because they're both gone, maybe we should hurry up really quick.
Good call.
Good call.
Go to the attic.
Okay.
Okay.
Let's go.
Okay.
Wait, wait, wait, let me go get my poem just in case.
Okay, yeah, yeah, smart.
You don't want to leave that with them.
Okay, okay, okay, okay, got it, okay.
Let's pull this down, okay.
All right, okay, and now clamber.
I'm clambering.
Clamber, clamber.
Okay, okay, where is it, where is it, where is it?
It's right here, okay, okay, okay, great.
Okay, you gonna pull the cork?
Yep, ready?
Yep, one, two, three!
Whoa!
I landed on my poem.
Oh, no.
Did you get a paper cut on your butt?
Yeah.
Oh, no.
That's all right.
Children, is that you in there?
Okay.
Oh, hey.
Cranklin, don't say it.
I want to say it first, okay?
You can't just butt in like that.
Okay, yes, what Cranklin is saying is true.
We have a problem on the ship.
Oh, no.
What's going on?
The captain is in... shambles because we pulled in the port the other day and he saw his ex-girlfriend and he's been a mess ever since oh what was her name diana oh yes yeah diana frumbleberg gorgeous At first I thought it was going to be Diana like Wonder Woman.
Yeah.
Or Diana Shane.
That's our neighbor.
Yeah, that's.
We just, you know, Cranklin and I have just been sort of pacing back and forth because okay, I'll give him credit.
Cranklin did have the idea that you might be able to help the captain.
Oh, wow.
Sure.
Well, yeah, Arthur's kind of a kind of a poet.
So maybe we could help the captain that way.
Yeah.
All right.
Follow me.
I'll take you to his quarters.
Now, listen, this is not his regular area you've been to.
This is the room that he goes into when he's very sad.
Oh, no.
He has a sad room?
He has a sad room.
Oh.
Okay, so follow me.
We're going to go down these stairs.
You know what?
This is taking forever.
I'm going to press this button and we'll turn it into a slide.
Oh, dear Diana, your eye is the color of.
Let's see, your eye is the color of the sky and i i wish i could fly to the sky.
What are you doing?
This is my private, sad area.
What are you doing here?
Captain, they're here to help.
There's so many stuffed animals everywhere, Captain.
This is so sweet.
Is that a lavender candle?
Those are collectibles.
I only have them because they're collectibles.
Don't touch them.
Get away from my collectibles.
I like these pink walls.
They are very soothing.
Yeah.
Yeah, this is nice.
Everything's so fluffy in here.
Ooh, it looks like this shaggy pink rug.
It's really nice in here.
This is nice.
I would love to be sad in here.
All right, what are the two of you doing in me sad room?
What do you want of me?
We want to help.
We heard you had a run-in with an ex-girlfriend and um, i'm pretty good at writing poetry now for people that i'm fond of, and we thought maybe we could help you.
All right, all right what, what?
What happens in the sad room stays in the sad room, though.
You got it.
You got it, agreed.
You got it okay.
You got it Cranklin, agree.
He's a bit of a motor mouth.
All right, well, I know at least one of her eyes is brown.
Not sure about the other one.
I think it's gone.
Yeah, she lost it.
Is she also a pirate?
She's a pirate's pirate, that one.
Oh, out there on the cloud sea, collecting booty like you wouldn't believe.
Oh, that's gotta hurt.
Wow, yeah.
Some say I love her only for her booty, but that's not true.
Oh, whoa.
Oh, come on.
Come on now.
What?
She's got a, just a, she has a gigantic pile of booty.
Oh.
Oh, that I've had my eye on for a long time.
Captain, we are children.
He does it now.
Wait, hold on a second.
What's wrong with talking about the pirate's booty?
Oh, boy.
Oh, no, it's totally normal.
It's totally fine.
I wish more people talked about my booty.
Oh, Captain, you talk about your booty quite a lot.
I know, and no one else picks up the hint.
Would you like to talk about my booty and compliment how nice it is?
I keep it highly shined and polished.
That's why my booty you can see shining even on the darkest night.
Well Captain, maybe if you talk less about your booty and more about the things you love about Diana, like as a person,
Yeah.
Oh, her avarice.
Okay, her avarice?
Yes.
Okay, that's something, I guess.
Listen, I definitely know what avarice means, but, like, for Cranklin... It's like greed.
It's like greed.
Yeah, exactly.
You see, Cranklin?
Greed probably rhymes with more things.
Well, avarice rhymes with...
Well, I rhymed it with cadaverous, you see here?
That's really good, Captain.
Do you have a rhyme dictionary or access to rhymezone.com?
I've been working on my own rhyming dictionary.
I think it might be the Cloud Seas first.
Oh wow, wow.
That's a big accomplishment.
I bet that would make diana weak in the knees if she knew that you were a dictionary writer.
Oh, women love daniel webster.
All right, forget the poem i'm writing her a dictionary.
That'll be me project, while you're to have a project of your own, which is Go ahead and find me some new booty.
You're here.
Cranklin's here.
Come on, Cranklin.
My name is Henry.
I live in Georgia.
The name of the island is Ryman Island.
The people are called Rymlocks.
There's a rhyming competition going on and the prize is the golden orange.
Oh, wow!
OK, I don't want to cause a fuss.
That's cool.
But didn't Diana Fumbleberg say she was headed to Rhyming Island next?
For the rhyming competition, that's right.
Exactly.
She's got to be the best rhymer on the entire Cloud Sea.
She's a shoo-in for the golden orange, and that's going to be added to her booty unless...
Unless... Unless these two fine rhymers get down there and beat her for the golden orange.
Wait, you want us to beat your ex-girlfriend that you're so secretly in love with?
Well, I couldn't go down and do it.
But if you did it and that golden orange ended up in my booty instead of hers, why then...
She might just want to come over to my ship and have a little tour.
The games we play.
I've got a proposal.
Okay, i've got a proposal.
Instead of taking the cloud car, let's take the ship down, put in port at rhyman island.
We'll stay on the ship right, if we find diana, bring her and the orange back and let's connect these two.
Yeah, are you forgetting something here, lad?
The rhyme locks.
They're like warlocks who can cast spells by making rhymes.
What if a rhyme lock sees us coming and decides they want me booty?
Why, they could rhyme fire with admire, because they admire my booty.
And then suddenly the ship's on fire because they made a spell out of it.
Well, we could turn in on an invisible mode.
I don't know, we haven't used that in a while.
Oh, that's right, like a cloaking device.
Yeah yeah, we've only tried it once uh, to some disastrous consequences.
But i think we should try to get rhyme locks.
I think they get a bad rap.
Are they going to set us on fire?
I just want to check.
Sometimes.
They could if you rub them the wrong way.
Yeah.
You have to stay in the rhyme lock's good graces.
How do we do that?
Well, you have to be good at rhyming.
Okay.
You have to be respectful.
Sure.
And you have to never, ever once be seen.
What?
I will say this.
Rhyme locks love to be complimented.
Have you ever heard of narcissism?
Yeah.
Okay.
We have this neighbor.
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
It's like they like to be told they're great.
You know, they're very sensitive.
Like the captain.
Well, that's... You can practice on me if you'd like to say nice things about me.
Captain, you smell great.
You smell like white shoulders.
You smell like...
Meatball soup with burnt hair in it, but you're a child, so I can't really blame you.
You gotta get better at your compliments, especially if you're gonna write a love dictionary.
That wasn't a compliment!
Sometimes honesty is the best compliment.
I'm heading up to pull us into port.
Meet me up there when you're done rhyming.
All right, Dobbins, back into port and keep the motor running, all right?
This is unprecedented.
I'm excited.
Oh, my goodness.
Okay, so we just have to compliment them, keep rhyming, and not let them look at us.
Right, and you can really win them over if they say something and then you rhyme with what they just said.
They love that.
Got it, okay.
Especially if you can turn it into a compliment.
Got it.
This is so much.
We can do it.
We can do this.
I have the power of love inside of me.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
Chewie Lewis.
All right.
Do you hear that repeated beeping sound?
Yeah.
That's the sound when the Skytanic backs in.
It's rare.
Oh, yeah.
That's what that is.
Aren't they going to hear that?
Of course, they know we're coming.
This is the problem.
Now, make sure not to mention my booty to anybody.
Unless...
You happen to see Diana.
Okay.
You can tell her my booty is really, really nice.
And we'll know her because she has one brown eye and one eye patch.
Well, unknown what's under that.
That's right.
Oh, you'll know her.
Oh, you'll know her.
At least one brown eye.
Okay.
At least one.
Okay.
I can confirm one.
I've seen it.
Well, Captain, we're going to try to make you proud and we're going to try to get your love back.
Get that golden orange.
Yeah, you stay here in this sad room and hold on to this squishmallow.
Yeah.
And here, let's light your incense.
All right.
Yeah.
Oh, that's a nice diffuser.
That's really nice.
Relaxing.
This is actually mushy.
Me Squishmallow.
Oh, that's really cute.
Yeah.
Do you want a juice box or anything?
Yeah, do you have the apple juice one?
Yeah, I got one and I brought one with me.
Here you go.
I'll put this straw in for you.
Yeah, dude, Inca's not good at that.
Yeah, that's okay.
Here, Inca, you get the first sip as usual.
Mmm.
Okay, now you stay here and you be cozy and we'll come back.
Yeah, have a nice rest.
You deserve it.
Hey, take a load off.
Hey, take a load off.
Put that blanket on you.
Maybe I'll burrow down into my beanbag.
Yeah, burrow down.
In a fetal position.
Oh, look, here's a weighted blanket.
Let me put this on you.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, that's good.
There you go.
Okay.
Okay, can we go?
Can we go?
Can we go?
Okay, yeah, we can go.
We can go.
We can go.
Okay.
Okay, let's run back up these stairs.
It's not that you can't slide up, but.
What if we had to climb up a slide?
Wouldn't that be hilarious?
It would be hilarious.
We'd be really bad at it.
I know.
Hey, diamonds!
All right, hello.
We're ready.
Wow, this is exciting.
I will tell you that we are in invisibility mode, and so, while we can see each other, no one can see that we've pulled into the port, until you get off the ship.
Cool.
Okay.
Yeah.
This is. technology that our government would love to get its hands on.
I have to give Cranklin credit for this one.
We're not going to give it to him.
We're not going to give it to him.
Okay, let's go.
Okay, good luck.
Bye-bye.
Oh, here we are.
Okay.
You down the ladder?
So now they can see us.
They can see us.
Okay, okay, okay.
So we should probably be hiding behind trees or like... I mean, they'll see us.
It's okay if they see us, right?
Because...
We're just here for the rhyming competition.
Yeah, yeah, okay.
Arthur, it's okay.
You can be seen.
Okay, I know.
Yeah, I know.
I can be seen.
Just because you have a paper cut on your butt doesn't mean you're any less worthy of anything.
Don't say that out loud.
I don't want people to know.
I mean, just because you have a sword injury on your butt...
Ho-ho!
Ho-ho!
Who goes to me, I see?
Can I see a form of ID?
Yes, you can, because I have three.
Would you like some tea?
You look pretty good looking to me.
Ho-ho!
Ho-ho!
Stop.
You must be here for the rhyming competition, you two young things.
We are.
We love rhyming and to sings.
Yes, and I wish that we could um play with this ring.
Oh really, i'm not doing it.
You're doing great, you're doing great, you're doing great, okay.
Okay, i have a ring that my brother likes to play with.
Well, that sounds delightful.
I'm not going to rhyme with you because you seem like you're here for the competition.
You don't seem like your regular crime lock.
No, we're not a regular Rhyme Lock, but we did come over to walk.
You're precocious and I love it.
I would like to put no one above it in terms of my esteem of you.
That's so nice of you.
So then does that mean you'll let us through?
Yes, you two shall pass, and if anyone shall give you an ask as to why you are here say, the competition day is near.
Oh, thank you dear.
Okay, this was good.
Okay goodbye hello bye, goodbye.
We're doing great.
We're doing great so far.
You just have to believe in yourself.
You're right.
You're right Amelia, excuse me um, you over there with the whistle.
Do you have any meat, or perhaps gristle?
Are you here for the competition?
Yes, we're here with your permission.
Oh, I'm not a rhyme lock.
No, no, but I am here for the competition.
Oh, so you're going to rhyme though?
I am.
I'm going to.
I'm a bit nervous.
My name's Diana.
It's very nice to meet you.
Are you Diana Frumbleberg?
Wait a minute.
Yes.
Can you move your hair to the side just for a second?
An eye patch.
It's hers.
Hey, Diana Frumboberg.
Yes.
Pleasure to meet you.
My name is Amelia.
This is my brother, Arthur.
I'm Arthur.
Oh, hello.
Nice to meet you.
How did you know my last name?
We know someone who knows you and who was asking about you.
And they have a lot of nice booty.
Yeah, he's got a real big booty.
Say no more, i know who you're talking about.
You do captain squid hand yes, always talking about me?
Booty and he booty and no i i um, i don't have time to think about that right now.
I've I've got to warm up for the competition.
Oh, well, I'm so sorry.
We didn't mean to upset you.
We're not trying to psych you out before the competition.
No, no, no.
I'm sorry, children.
We're not trying to psych you out before the competition.
We're not trying to psych you out before the competition.
It feels like you are trying to.
We're not trying to psych you out before the competition.
Yes.
Are you trying to psych me out before the competition?
No, we want you to win.
We're not trying to psych you out before the competition.
You're going to do great, Diana.
We're not trying to psych you out.
Listen, little girl, you don't know who you're dealing with.
I'm a boy.
Diana Frumbleberg.
Yeah, Diana Frumbleberg.
That's right.
Yeah, Arthur's a boy.
I'm about three feet tall in front of you, over you and two feet over you yeah, and i don't need any lip from little kids that know, captain squid hand.
So let me put it this way i'll see you in the ring okay, and i'll make you sing bling bling oh Oh, Amelia.
Wow, that was awesome.
I can see now why Captain's with him.
At first I was like, she's too nice for him.
And now I'm like, yeah.
Yeah, she's feisty.
They seem like a good pair.
Hey, should we be practicing?
I'm so scared we're going to come up against a rhyme lock and I'm not going to know what to say.
Um, you'll know what to say.
Hey, just hang out, okay?
You're so natural.
Well, I have, my dad's a rapper.
Well, so is mine, but maybe I get mom's genes.
Oh, yeah.
All right.
Well, it looks like that must be the arena where the competition is taking place.
Oh, yeah.
Whoa.
Look at all those little signs with LED writing.
Oh, cool.
They're all rhymes on there.
That's cool.
Oh, hello.
Hello.
Oh, hi.
Are you looking at my rhymes?
Oh, yes.
Did you write these rhymes on the LED screens?
I can understand exactly what they means.
Yes, I did.
I am the Rymlock known as Norman.
And I am here because today the competition's a stormin'.
Oh, nice.
Stormin Norman.
Thank you.
That's correct.
I am the arbiter of the competition itself, and I will put the trophies upon the shelf.
Oh, well, we would like to enter, please.
We're for serious.
We're not just a tease.
Yeah.
Please we'd like to rhyme today.
We want to compete, so show us the way.
The best thing you can do to be in this game is to take a pen and write your name.
Okay, we can do that.
My name's Amelia And my name's Arthur.
I have anglophilia.
I like England a lot.
I think England's a really cool country.
Yeah, and my name's Arthur.
And I am...
I can't think of one.
He came from even farther.
Yes.
Well, we don't normally allow teams in this game, but since you have both given me your name and one of you doesn't seem to rhyme very well, we'll say that you can compete together.
It will be swell.
Yay.
OK.
Thank you so much, Norman.
You fight like George Foreman.
I don't know who that is, but the compliment has got some riz.
Yeah, he's a very successful boxer.
Yeah.
And thus the conversation ends.
Yay!
Okay.
Thanks, Norman.
Bye.
A pleasure to meet you, my new friends.
Oh, wow.
I guess.
Over here.
Oh.
Over here.
Oh.
Hello?
Hello?
Behind the bench.
Oh.
Oh, my gosh.
Oh, hi.
You're so cute and tiny.
Hi.
Hi.
Listen, you don't want to go into that competition.
Just trust me.
But we want the golden orange.
We want the golden orange.
If you don't win, they set you on fire.
Excuse me?
Excuse me?
Yeah.
I don't want to die.
I don't either.
Yeah um yeah, i'm just.
I'm just a kid rhyme lock so, like i, i haven't ever.
You know, i don't have to speak in rhyme until i turn 18 oh, wow.
But i'm gonna get off of this island before then because There's too much setting people on fire for my taste.
How do you even have a population if you set everybody on fire?
Everybody's good at rhyming and nobody enters the competition.
Oh.
Amelia.
Wait, so how many people are in the competition?
Is it just us and Diana Frumbleberg?
Well, that and there is the King of Rhymes here.
Oh, what?
King of Rhymes?
Yes.
Flava Flav?
Is he Flava Flav?
Gosh.
Yeah, boy.
We just call him King, so I don't know about what his flavor is, but he doesn't like it if anybody else wins, really.
But if they lose, they're set on fire.
So it's kind of a tough situation and i was just pretty much well, now you've put your names in, so you have to do it.
But i guess i'm just trying to say, like from one kid to another um, you better win, but then also, after you win, grab the orange and run like heck because the king is not gonna be happy, wait.
So it's a lose-lose.
Great, it's a lose-lose.
Yeah, my dad.
Um, he won the competition last year and he got banished from the island.
Oh no, where's your dad?
I don't know.
He got banished from the island, so you gotta go try to find him.
I, I've tried and maybe I will, but I don't really have any transportation off the island anyways.
Hey, what's your name?
Attention competitors.
Attention competitors.
That's him.
Please report to the central competition area.
Attention competitors.
Attention competitors, please report to the central competition area.
He didn't rhyme that at all.
What?
Yeah, that's, uh...
That's really messing with my mind, man.
I know.
Yeah, that's.
The weird thing is he makes everybody else rhyme, but he doesn't have to rhyme if he doesn't want to.
What?
He's the complicated man.
Wait, that's the king?
Well, that's a recording of his voice.
Wait, what's your name?
My name is Steve.
Steve.
Steve.
Just in case we ever, you know, see your dad.
We just want to make sure that we say we saw Steve.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
My dad's name is Steven.
Oh, our dad's name is Carl.
Yeah.
He's somewhere out in the universe, but I don't know where.
Oh, I'm sure he's around.
I'm sure he'll be back.
Hopefully, but you've got bigger things to worry about.
Being set on fire.
Attention, competitors.
Yeah, we don't want to.
Attention, competitors.
Oh, no, it's the king again.
You've got to go.
Five minutes until you are set on fire if you don't report to the central competition area.
Oh, my gosh.
Five minutes until you are set on fire.
Thanks, Steve.
Oh, my gosh.
Let's go.
Come on.
Okay.
Do you think the captain knew that we would be set on fire?
Probably.
He doesn't seem to care about our safety as much as his booty.
Apparently.
Oh, children.
Welcome to the arena.
Thank you.
You ran as fast as a spotted hyena.
Thank you.
That was good.
People of rhymes, we have come to the time.
On our stage, you see three rhyming mages.
We have...
Himself the thing.
He is the king.
The rhyme king.
He is this thing.
Greetings, my subject.
Prepare for this test where I will prove I am the best.
And here from the waves, of the cloud sea, bringing with her a ton of booty beauty, Diana Frummelberg herself.
Hello and thank you.
I am happy to be here dressed in blue.
I'll win today and throw me into the fray because all I can do is be true.
Come on, now.
Come on.
It's not that cool.
It's a very normal-looking patch.
I have a crowd.
And now, a new thing for this year.
A team of two is here.
From somewhere, we have a little boy and...
A little girl in this ploy.
This is Arthur and Amelia.
Let's hope they don't have hemophilia.
What?
What a way to intro us.
Hi, I'm Arthur.
And I'm Amelia.
And we don't have hemophilia.
Yes, yes, yes.
That we know of.
Why are you so short?
Because we're kids!
Okay, that's an answer.
Okay, that was pretty simple.
I didn't know kids were allowed.
Anyway, I've never seen one.
Hello, Diana.
Hello, King.
We can't wait to beat you in this thing.
In this ring that we call a ring.
Well, you can try, but look up to the sky, because you might see a bird poop right in your eye.
Man.
Attack.
I'm gonna get E. coli!
I just ran!
Great job!
I'm gonna get a stye!
This is quite absurd.
She has a trained bird.
This is quite unusual.
We are sorry for the delay.
Let us get this going and the championship in play.
You all know the rules.
You've been here before.
What will happen is we will keep the score by how many rhymes happen, how many times happen and how many hands are clap clap, clapping after your rhymes.
Oh.
I'll give you a word.
You'll have 30 seconds.
And when you rhyme the word, your mind will be fecund, growing with vocabulary and stirring around.
And then we will judge the crowd by its sound.
Does anyone else feel like the umpire should be competing in this thing right now?
Because that was better than anything we've heard all day.
She's really good.
She's really good.
Really good.
I appreciate the compliment.
And now, the time has been spent.
I give you one word in round one here.
Your word is easy.
The word is fear.
I guess, do we go first?
I don't know, everyone's just staring at us.
Okay hey, I don't have no fear when I'm here, cuz that would be.
Let's be clear, my dear, you get in gear because I want you to hear all the mere facts that I'm gonna spill, both far and near.
And don't look at my brother's rear because he had a piece of paper sear it and i might cry, so i'm gonna tear.
Oh, my gosh, 13 rhymes is the score our competitors.
Do you have any more?
I come from far and i come from near.
Look at me and you will appear into a soul of light ready for a fight.
Ah, I hope you will be listening, my dear.
I want to cheer and let me be clear.
If you try to get at me, booty me bird will fly to the pier and on your head and nip at your nose.
But uh, that's what you get if you think my rhymes don't flows.
Wow, This was very good.
You rhymed up to seven.
You had an A-B scheme and then you lost it somewhere in heaven.
What in heaven?
Great job, Diana.
But please make my heart sing.
I give now the floor to our beloved Rhyme King.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Keep cheering and I won't spank you.
That wasn't bad, but here's the thing.
Now you'll all see why I'm the king.
I went to a faraway land called Shmashmir and saw a strange creature called Blabableer.
The creature's name was smagir and it ate a strange food known as skaskir, covered with glir and a sprinkle of shplir.
And then they went to the town called Gagir, where they met their best friend Bablir, Cuspir Ngir and Skagir, and went to the store that was named Zabazir and bought a magir, a pasir and a flare, which are far away things from the land of Fafir.
I can go on, but if you want more, I think you all just want to see my score.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Excuse me.
I'm sorry, King, but I call bunk.
All of those rhymes were pure junk.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
Well, you better be careful or your tale will be cautionary.
All of these words are in my private dictionary.
Please, please, everyone be careful.
We've had a rough patch.
And please don't forget that I've got gasoline and a match.
These children with my life.
And no, I won't be your wife, king.
Listen to this thing.
You won't hurt me and you won't hurt them.
If you try, I'll tear you limb from limb.
Yes, that was bunk, so get in my...
So get in my trunk, because today these children will win.
Diana!
Diana?
Where am I?
Where am I?
Never before have we had such a threat and never before have anyone get so good at defending their competitors.
I need to write several letters to the editors of these three.
I'm beginning to tire.
If they don't do better, please set them on fire.
You have a dictionary.
You say why don't you bring it out?
And then uh, our penance will pay.
Um Well, bringing it out would be quite a pain, because this land's official dictionary is kept in my brain.
So this competition is a farce.
And you keep saying you're going to set us on fire, but the truth is you're a real big fat liar.
You don't know real words.
You're making them up on the spot.
And the truth is that you're the one with brain rot.
No, no, the truth is you three are about to feel hot.
Arthur, grab the oomph!
Grab the oomph!
Hey, driver!
Hey, driver!
Hey, driver!
Where's the ship?
Where's the ship?
I don't know.
I can't see it.
I can't find it.
Oh, my gosh.
Oh, my gosh.
Oh, wait.
Look, there's a big blank area.
There they are.
There they are.
Everyone's running away with the orange.
Get them.
Children, onto the ship.
Quick, quick.
Here, here.
Up the ladder.
Up the ladder.
Get out!
Captain, we got the orange.
It's made of gold.
And we found your girlfriend of old.
Yeah.
Oh, where is she?
Where are you talking like that?
Where is she?
She's back on the island.
She saved our lives.
Yeah.
She would have made such a wonderful wife.
You don't have to keep talking like that, children.
It's all right.
I don't think I can stop.
It's now in my brain.
What if I can't do anything more until it rains?
Amelia!
Oh, no.
Well, here's the orange, and we can see why you still love Diana.
She's a real warrior and she wore a bandana.
Oh, was it?
Was it the red one?
It was the red one.
I gave her that bandana.
She still wears it.
It was a beautiful red bandana and she smelled like lantana.
Yeah, like hannah attracts butterflies.
Yeah children, i am so glad that You're okay.
I mean, the only lasting effects is you can't stop rhyming, but that will wear off soon, I think.
How soon will it wear off?
I've got to go play golf.
Yeah.
Okay, I don't know what golf is, but I was worried about you and Cranklin.
I almost saw a drip of oil coming out of his eye.
He was worried when he saw you running towards us.
Oh, Cranklin, you're as sweet as Benjamin Franklin.
Wow.
Franklin's rhyming.
I've never heard anybody rhyme anything with orange.
That was awesome.
That was so good.
I think he broke me.
That was great.
Thanks, Franklin.
Captain, are you okay?
What's going on over there?
I was just wondering if you could... Maybe you two kids could take the orange and put it in storage.
It's in my booty.
I just need a little time to think, and I think maybe there are treasures even greater.
I'm not quite sure what they could be.
Maybe love, sir?
I mean, that's why you and Diana broke up, isn't it?
Is that she thought you valued gold over her?
You know, we did talk to her and she seemed to really be excited to hear about you, until we started talking about your booty.
Oh, well, you know, she did think I had a bit of a booty fixation, but she has the same.
That was the pot calling the kettle black.
Now she's got more booty than me.
She could have grabbed the golden orange and saved herself, but she fought, and let us get out of there.
Which shows she definitely had a change of heart.
Ever the hero.
Captain, looks like you need a visit down to the sad room.
Yeah, could you shift it to slide mode?
I like sliding down.
Yes, all right, children.
You should watch Legally Blonde.
I'm just saying.
Reese Witherspoon is a treasure.
She's the real booty.
She's the real treasure.
She's the real booty.
Mm-hmm.
I'm sorry we put you in maybe some of the worst danger you've ever been in.
I'm glad you're okay.
Oh, it's okay.
We learned a lot, that's for sure.
Yeah, we did.
I have a whole new... respect for our father, because he's really good at rhyming.
And Arthur, I'm sorry to say, the Back of your head is a bit singed off.
The hair there is just a bit of a round spot where a fireball grazed it.
It looks kind of like a bald spot.
Right.
Back in the back.
It adds character.
Oh, no.
I just didn't want you to leave and not mow.
Yeah, sorry.
I didn't see it before, Arthur.
I had a burning sensation.
I just thought I might have lice again.
Oh, my gosh.
Amelia.
You know what?
I think you do have lice again.
Yeah, I see them crawling right there.
I'm going to need you to get off the shit now.
All right.
You're going to be stuck in this barrel with me with lice.
Sorry, Amelia.
That's okay.
That's okay.
When one of us has it, we both have it.
That's right.
Bye-bye, children.
I'm going to put the lid on.
You ready?
Ready.
Whoa great.
A bald spot and lice.
This is the worst.
But we'll just cut your hair and then um, kelsea will be like cool haircut, and you'll be like i have a poem for you.
Oh hey, that's a perfect way to get her attention.
Yeah, okay.
Well, now you gotta help me cut my hair.
Oh, i will.
Do you want to do it now or do you want to talk to Dad about it first?
Yeah, let's talk to Dad.
Just don't tell him I have lice.
Okay.
Dad?
Dad, I have lice.
My name is Carl and I'm here to say I write love poems in a major.
Oh hey, Arthur buddy, were you cutting your hair with your safety scissors again?
I told you.
I...
We have the $14.
We can take you down to... Supercuts?
Oh, I was thinking totally clips.
Oh Dad, I have lice too, I think, which means that maybe Arthur has it, but it came from me probably.
Oh, okay.
Well, they totally clips does lice treatments, too, or I could get... Look, all right.
Thanks, Dad.
We'll sort it out.
It's no big.
It happens.
It's like when you had that pinworm outbreak.
Dad!
It's a normal thing.
They get it.
It starts at elementary and you just like until kids stop scratching, it's just going to happen.
Another rhyme.
I can't stop rhyming with these old love poems.
Dad, I'm so glad you're so good at rhyming because I think I got some of it from you.
Yeah, Amelia's really good at it, Dad.
You'd be proud.
I'm always proud of both of you two.
Thanks dad.
Except when you try to cut your own hair.
And Steve were played by Amanda Lee Williams, The Nosey Rhyme Lock, and Norman, the Rhyme Lock, were played by Eve Kruger.
That's me.
Our producer, editor, and sound designer is Matt Silverman, who also played Cranklin the Robot.
This episode is brought to you by Henry from Georgia.
Thanks, Henry.
Our theme music is composed by Matt Hobbs.
Our logo and character design is illustrated by Bob L. Green.
And if you know someone who would love the show as much as you do, pass it on.
Maybe their island will be the next great adventure on Tales from the Cloud Sea.
