Hi, grown-ups.
Today, Fred and I got to meet someone very special.
Cooper, the little live pets.
Ouchies, puppy.
Oh, boy, Mr. Eric.
When I first met Cooper, he had a little limp and a rosy glow to his cheeks.
He needed my help.
That's right, Fred.
Cooper isn't just cute.
He's interactive with over 50 sounds and reactions.
He'll whimper when he's hurt and even try to walk.
But don't worry, puppies.
I mean, kiddos.
You'll get to help Cooper feel better.
You can put on his splint, wet the bandages, wrap them up, and ta-da!
You've made him a real cast, just like a vet would.
And once the cast dries, you can decorate it however you like.
Then give Cooper lots of love and care.
And when he's ready, Cooper will play his happy sound woof woof, to let you know it's time to take off the cast.
He'll lift his head, rest his paw, and walk to his cheerful song.
Plus, Cooper comes with a puppy carrier that transforms into a vet tray, so you can bring your new friend anywhere and keep helping him heal.
I love helping Cooper feel better.
It's like real vet play, but with extra puppy cuddles.
Grownups, bring home Little Live Pets Cooper the Ouchie Puppy today.
Available at all major retailers.
What if kittens played the glockenspiel?
What if unicorns were real?
What if you could fly or travel back in time?
We welcome you to What If World.
Hey there folks, and welcome back to What If World, the show where your questions and ideas inspire off-the-cuff stories.
I'm Mr. Eric, your host, and today we've got a question from a patron named Felicity.
Hi, Mr. Eric.
My name is Felicity, and I'm six years old, and I have a question for you.
What if my lunch lady was an octopus and the sky had a mouth and we had to feed it?
Wow, that is a very wacky question.
And since we didn't answer any patron questions last week, let's add on one more from Andreas.
Hi, it's me again, Andreas, Mr. Eric.
What if earrings are wingings?
Earwings?
Earwings?
Earwings.
I like it.
Now, some of you long-time listeners might think that these What If questions sound familiar.
And yes, indeed.
This is a What If?
World story from years ago, back when Fred the dog was president and a big, mysterious mouth opened in the sky.
However, I've learned a few tricks of editing since then, and I made this version sound a lot better.
So I hope you enjoy it.
Now let's find out.
What if earrings were ear wings?
And what if my lunch lady was an octopus and the sky had a mouth and we had to feed it?
Hey there, grown-ups.
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Hey grown-ups, as parents, we know how quickly family time can turn into scrolling time.
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Zach and ZZ were headed to school during a beautiful spring... snowstorm.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
I don't get it.
Why is it so snowy?
Zack and ZZ looked up at that tear across all of space-time.
You know, it's kind of starting to look like a mouth.
I was just thinking the same thing.
And just then, that giant hole across the sky seemed to sneeze more snow onto them.
Does that mean that this snow is really... Sky boogers?
Yes, Zack.
Oh...
And as they continued their walk to school, instead of sneezing and shivering, that hole in the sky started coughing.
And when the sky coughed, great plumes of hazy, smoky air came out and melted all the snow away.
By the time they actually got to school, it felt as hot as summer.
ZZ, I think the sky may be sick.
You want to go find out?
Asked ZZ, pulling out two pairs of earrings.
But ZZ, I don't have my ears pierced.
Neither do I. These are clip-ons.
Um... Zack, there's nothing wrong with a boy putting on earrings.
Oh, I know that.
It's just the ear wing part I'm afraid of.
Aren't they gonna pull our ears off?
No, no, no.
They're magic.
They won't pull your ears off at all.
Then won't they pull our heads off?
They won't pull any part of you off, Zack.
I enchanted them myself.
Okay...
Zack and ZZ clipped on their little heart-shaped earrings which grew over their ears, head and neck, so they were covered in feathers, except for their face.
Then they stretched out into massive colorful bird wings and started flapping, lifting Zack and ZZ into the sky.
What am i supposed to do with my arms?
Superheroes usually put a fist forward.
I know it just feels so posy.
I think i'm gonna do the peter pan.
Hands on hips.
I think i'm gonna flap them so it looks like i've got four wings.
What are you kids doing here?
Are you coming to bring me some delicious treats?
What's delicious to the sky?
Oh, i love whatever you kids send up here Clouds of gas.
I heard that clouds of gas are bad for the sky.
Nonsense.
I love it.
Send more of it.
Give me more cars.
Make more jets.
Give me all that gassy smokey air.
I think you're addicted to junk food, Sky Mouth.
Sky Mouth can take it.
There's no such thing as bad food for the sky.
It's all good.
Just keep sending it up.
No, i think you need a healthy meal.
A healthy meal.
Give me a break, kid.
Give me gas, Give me smoke.
Give me all the stuff you choke on.
Give me gas.
Oh, give me smoke.
Give me dirty artichokes and... Dirty artichokes?
I don't think you know what's good for you, Sky Mouth.
Yeah, didn't your mom and dad ever tell you what you should eat?
Mom and dad?
Oh, the world down there is my mom.
So whatever she sends, my way must be yum yum yum, and my tum, tum tum must help me get big and strong and healthy.
I think maybe you need a change to your diet.
We'll get you something healthy from the lunch lady.
Sounds good.
And so the kids flew back down and took off their ear wings, which changed promptly back into earrings, before scrambling straight to the cafeteria.
Mrs. Crawley!
Mrs. Crawley!
They ran up to their green eight-armed octopus lunch lady, Mrs. Crawley, who was busy single-handedly, well, octo-handedly, whipping up a breakfast for all the early arrivals.
Hello, Zack and Zeezy.
You're gonna have to wait in line like everybody else.
No, we don't need a healthy meal yet.
Yeah, we've got a food emergency.
Well, it's too early for cake, Zack, so don't give me those eyes.
No, we don't need an unhealthy meal either.
The sky needs something good to eat, or it's going to keep getting sick all over What If World.
The sky, you say?
You didn't go up flying and talking to that big tear across all of space-time, did you?
Well, it's really more of a sky mouth.
While the big green octopus spoke to Zack and ZZ, she was slinging eggs and potatoes to some children and peeling stubborn bananas and oranges for others.
Well, you know you can't just feed the sky people food.
Oh.
Well, what do skies eat?
What do you think they eat, children?
Ah, I guess anything we put up there.
Exactly.
There's over a billion people driving automobiles and flying in their jet-powered flying suits every day, sending up gas and smoke for that sky to eat.
We've got to do something.
Two of Mrs Crawley's legs started opening cans of tomato sauce and two other legs started making big piles of dough.
And we've got to do it fast, or else we're gonna miss pizza day.
Zach grabbed the two pairs of earrings out of ZZ's bag and the two of them flew right out of the cafeteria window.
Where are you two going?
Asked Mrs. Crawley.
But the kids were already out of sight, flying with their ear wings all the way to New What City.
All right, Miss Mouser. many super jet powered flying suits are we producing this month?
200,000.
It's down a little from last month.
Stevie the Fleasel was talking to Miss Mouser, his assistant, at the top of his big old business building.
Down a little from last mouth.
Sorry, I was looking at that giant mouth in the sky and I got distracted.
And the Sky Mouth started coughing back all of the smoke and heat that knew what city's factories were sending up into the air.
Just then, Zack and ZZ flew in through his open window.
Stevie the Fleasel.
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa.
You gotta start making cleaner burning flying suits.
Yeah, or else the sky is gonna keep getting sicker.
Kids, you gotta understand.
I make what people want.
You wanna fly into the sky.
You wanna go faster than anyone you know.
I'll make a flying suit that you can use to go up in the sky.
But you're not actually helping anyone.
They could use ear wings if they needed to.
Well, that's not true.
I actually had to use my magic to make ear wings and not everyone has that kind of magic.
See?
I'm just helping everyone in town.
Get around.
You can get on board with that, kids, can't you?
Well, I don't know.
Ah, kids, that's the price of progress.
I make these affordable.
I make them fast.
I didn't plan to sing again.
But I see I didn't convince you just then.
But every kid wants what every kid wants.
And that's to fly.
Oh my.
But ever since you started using rockets, you're making the sky sick.
Oh, I talk to the sky mouth.
It loves all the pollution, all the gas.
It's like delicious candy for it.
Well, kids can't eat candy all the time, and neither can the sky.
Oh, okay.
I'll try to help just any way I can.
Think that you might need to talk to someone else that can really help you out now, other than myself.
So you're passing the buck?
If I stop making these machines, somebody else will.
So we have to make all businesses agree to pollute less?
Exactly.
Then I promise I'll make cleaner burning flying machines and cars.
So Zack and ZZ took off.
Aw, ZZ, there's no way we can make all the businesses work together to give the sky a healthy meal.
Well, we certainly can't on our own, but I think I know who can help.
And ZZ soared ahead, Zack flapping his ears and arms to keep up.
Can you guess where she was headed?
Mr. Mouser, who's a two o'clock today?
My sister just called and said we should expect a pair of belligerent children to fly into the White House at any moment.
Oh no, not two belligerent children.
I can't say belligerent that many times.
You just did, Mr. President.
You can call me Mr. President.
I'd rather not.
And just then, Zack and ZZ flew through the windows of the what-house.
Oh, I like what you've done with the place.
Zack, the whole what-house is made out of mud bricks.
Yeah, we had to rebuild it.
I ate the stick house.
It's a long story.
You two must be the bewildering children I was hearing about.
I'm not a bridge you can rent or buy.
No, he means we're upset.
And yes, you're letting companies pollute the air and the sky needs a healthy meal.
Or everybody needs a healthy meal sometimes.
Let's give this guy some sticks.
No, this guy doesn't want sticks.
This guy wants healthy air.
Well, Skye actually kind of enjoys pollution, but it's like junk food and it's bad.
Oh yeah, just like when I eat too much sticks sometimes, I get a bellyache.
Cause really, sticks aren't very good for dogs.
Ah, my daddy takes away my sticks sometimes.
And you make me really mad.
I think we're getting a little off track here.
Oh yeah, okay.
What do we need to do?
We need the people at the top to see the SkyMouth hack and cop.
They'll see pollution's not a treat and give SkyMouth something good to eat.
But progress has a price, you see.
SkyMouth pays our convenience fee.
A fee that always works on Dad.
He pays our mama when he's bad.
They're saying if we tax pollution, big businesses will make solutions.
It won't be simple or even quick.
But will you do it for a stick?
Yeah, okay.
But give me that stick right now.
And now I take my stick away, just let me chew it every day.
Fred, you haven't learned a thing.
Sticks are better when you stick.
I think we should just go.
But is he going to do it?
Yeah, I already said so.
We're gonna do the carbon tax.
It's fine.
I don't know why we didn't do it years ago.
We'll start on the paperwork immediately, children.
But it's after two o'clock.
Shouldn't you be getting back to school?
Oh, no.
It's after two o'clock.
Oh, no.
Pizza day.
Zack and ZZ took off as fast as their ear wings could carry them.
A massive gust of wind rocketed Zack and ZZ ahead on their air wings, launching them through the sky faster than they've ever flown.
They were diving down toward the observatorium so fast, in fact.
Uh, ZZ, are we gonna crash?
It totally feels like it, yeah.
If I don't make it, tell Mom and Dad.
Pizza.
Oh, Zack.
And just before they crashed through the roof, the wind became gentle again and they slowly drifted down through an open window to find Mrs Crawley cleaning up.
After all, the lunches were over.
Mrs. Crawley, we missed pizza day.
Well, you did scuttle off without even getting a save the world pass.
It doesn't matter.
We couldn't even get the sky something good to eat.
It might take years or decades to get even a little better.
Oh, children, I could have told you a big change doesn't happen overnight.
It can take a lifetime.
Mrs. Crawley put her dustpans and brooms and mops away and pulled out her big wooden pizza paddle.
Ding!
Just as a nearby oven went off, Did you save a pizza for us?
Mrs. Crawley used her long wooden paddle to pull out a tiny orange seed.
Ew, seeds?
That doesn't look nearly as good as a pizza.
Okay.
And Mrs. Crawley flung the seed out the window.
I didn't say I wasn't gonna eat it.
And where it landed in the ground suddenly shot up a giant tree.
But instead of fruit hanging from its branches, it had pizza.
Pizza.
The kids ran outside and each pulled a slice of cheese pizza off the tree.
The massive thick trees seemed to be soaking up all the smog and gas in the neighborhood.
And the sky took a mouthful of clean, fresh air.
Hey, I feel a little bit better.
Maybe I can live without unhealthy food.
Zip it, Skymouth.
I'm eating pizza.
Yeah, we're starving.
Oh, excuse me.
Carry on, children.
Oh, just one more slice.
The end.
Okay, Felicity and Andreas.
I hope you enjoyed your story.
Folks at home, if you're enjoying our podcast, please give us a high rating and even write a review.
You're welcome to include a What If question as part of it.
And if you want to add free episodes, monthly bonus content and access to over 30 bonus episodes of Stump, Mr Eric, go to whatifworldpodcastcom.
Slash support with your grown-up's permission.
Or if they're listening on Apple Podcasts, they can just click that subscribe button for a free trial.
I'd like to thank Karen O'Keefe, my co-creator, Craig Martinson for our theme song.
Mrs Crowley, the lunch lady growing up who didn't mind sneaking me a piece of chocolate cake when I'd had a particularly tough day.
My producer, Miss Lynn, and all you kids at home who use your big, powerful words and your little everyday actions to help make this world a healthier place for everyone.
Until we meet again, keep wondering.
Today, Mama Gemma and I got to meet one of the cutest baby animals ever Choo-Choo, the little live pet's baby panda.
Oh, and Choo-Choo's so sweet.
He makes the cutest sounds, just like a real baby panda.
That's right.
With over 50 sounds and reactions.
Choo-Choo giggles, coos and even kicks his tiny feet when you feed him with his bamboo feeding stick.
And after his snack, you can place him on the potty.
He does a little potty dance, kick, kick, kick, and then he goes poo.
Oh, it's so funny.
But don't worry, when he's done, you can flush it away for repeat play.
Choo Choo loves to be tickled and rocked to sleep.
If you cuddle him close, he'll drift right off, just like a real baby panda.
Feed him, love him, care for him, and Choo Choo will quickly become your most cherished little best friend.
He's the baby panda I never knew I needed.
Grownups, help your kids nurture their nurturing side.
Bring home joy with Little Live Pets My Baby Panda Choo Choo.
Available at all major retailers.
