Welcome to English as a Second Language podcast number 1040, Dealing with Bureaucracy.
This is English as a Second Language podcast episode 1040.
I'm your host, Dr Jeff McQuillan, coming to you from the Center for Educational Development in beautiful Los Angeles, California.
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This episode is going to be a dialogue between Yogi and Deborah about having to deal with, or have an interaction with, a large organization.
Let's get started.
I'm grateful for the work.
You know that all of our documents have to be submitted in triplicate.
I anticipated that and had done everything to the letter, or so I thought.
I know.
I helped you prepare those documents.
What's the problem?
The documents were sent back to us because they say we didn't follow some of the reporting regulations.
But the verbiage in the regulations is so convoluted that I had to interpret them to the best of my ability.
Did they tell you what they thought was done wrong when they returned the documents?
I suggest calling the office responsible for reviewing the documents and asking someone there.
You don't think I've tried?
Every time I think I have the right department and leave a voicemail message, either I don't hear back or I get palmed off on another office.
I can't get a straight answer to any of my questions.
I can think of one good use for that sword right now to put me out of my misery.
Bureaucracy is a large, usually complicated organizational system or complicated and complex organization that has a lot of different requirements, often involving what we call paperwork filling out forms, submitting documents, that sort of thing.
Almost every government agency has a large bureaucracy, a complicated system of offices and departments and bureaus, which is just another name for a division of the government.
We can also have a bureaucracy in a large company, but usually we associate it with the government and with inefficiency, with not being a very fast or efficient way to do something.
This dialogue is about dealing with bureaucracy, and it begins with Yogi saying...
I knew when I got this government contract that it would be a two edged sword.
A contract is a legal agreement, an official agreement between two people or two organizations, each promising to do something for the other.
Yogi has a contract with the government, but he calls it a two-edged sword.
Two-edged, E-D-G-E-D, refers to a knife or some sharp object that... is sharp on both sides.
A sword, S-W-O-R-D, is like a large knife that you would use to fight somebody or kill someone.
The meaning of the phrase however, is that this is a situation that has some advantages and some disadvantages, some good things and some bad things.
Having a government contract is, according to Yogi, a two-edged sword, meaning there are good things about it and there are bad things about it.
Deborah says, how so?
How so means, how is it a two-edged sword in this case?
We would use this question, how so, when we want someone to give us a more detailed explanation.
Yogi does that.
He says The phrase to jump through hoops.
H-O-O-P-S means to have to do many different small things, often difficult tasks that don't seem to have any real purpose, but that are required to get what you want.
Government agencies and offices often require that you fill out lots of forms.
You give them this piece of paper, you give them this piece of information.
It seems like they're asking you to do a lot of little things that don't seem necessary.
This would be jumping through hoops, having to fulfill or go through a lot of different requirements in order to get what you want.
A hoop is a circular piece of metal or wood that can be used for lots of different things.
We have what's called a basketball hoop which is the place where you throw the ball through.
It's the round circle that the basketball has to go through in order to score a point.
I'm guessing this phrase comes from the activity that you might see at a circus, for example, where they have dogs or other small animals that jump through the circle.
They have to jump through these hoops as part of the activity that is supposed to be entertaining.
I guess That's just a guess.
I'm not sure if that's exactly where we get this expression, but that would make sense.
The important thing is that it refers to having to do a lot of small, often seemingly unnecessary things in order to get what you want.
Yogi is talking about jumping through the hoops of the government's bureaucracy, and This has him pulling his hair out.
To pull your hair out means to be very frustrated, to be very annoyed.
You're so frustrated, you're so mad at a certain situation that you pull on the hair of your head with your hand so hard that you pull it out.
Of course, you're not actually pulling out your hair, although...
I used to teach high school here in the United States high school students between the ages of 14 and 18 and I used to have a lot of hair.
And now if you see a photograph of me or a video, you will see that I don't have any hair.
That's because teaching high school caused me to pull my hair out.
It was so frustrating.
That's not true.
I liked teaching high school for a while.
In our episode, Yogi doesn't like having to jump through the hoops of the government's bureaucracy.
Deborah says, what's wrong now?
Yogi says, you know that all of our documents have to be submitted in triplicate.
Triplicate, T-R-I-P-L-I-C-A-T-E, means three copies of the document.
T-R-I as a prefix means three, so three copies of every document have to be submitted to the government.
Yogi says, I anticipated that and had done everything to the letter, or so I thought.
Yogi says he anticipated that.
He knew that was going to happen, and so he had a plan for it.
He thought he had done everything to the letter.
To the letter here means exactly, precisely, the exact way the government wanted him to do it.
But at the end of the sentence he says so I thought, meaning that's what I thought, but obviously that isn't true.
Deborah says, I know.
I helped you prepare those documents.
What's the problem?
Yogi says the documents were sent back to us were returned to us because they meaning the government.
They say we didn't follow some of the reporting regulations, some of the rules.
But the verbiage in the regulations is so convoluted that I had to interpret them to the best of my ability.
Verbiage V-E-R-B-I-A-G-E refers to a lot of words, too many words, that are often confusing or unclear.
It's a negative way of describing, in this case, some sort of official document that has lots of different language.
That doesn't make a lot of sense.
This is something you will often see in a legal document.
That's why we have lawyers, so that they can charge you a lot of money to tell you what it means.
In the case of Yogi, the regulations are, according to him...
Convoluted, or at least the language that the regulations are expressed in is convoluted.
Convoluted, C-O-N-V-O-L-U-T-E-D means very complicated, very complex, very difficult to understand.
Yogi is trying to interpret, trying to understand these regulations to the best of his ability.
If you say you do something to the best of your ability, you mean you're doing it as best as you can, as well as you can.
Deborah says didn't they tell you what they thought was done wrong when they returned the documents?
That is, didn't the government say, well, you did this wrong and this wrong and this wrong?
Yogi says, all I got, the only thing I received, was a form letter with no specifics.
A form F-O-R-M letter is a letter that is written usually by a government agency or a large company that Deborah says For reviewing or looking at the documents and asking someone there.
Deborah says, well, just call him up.
Of course, that doesn't often work with the government.
Yogi says, you don't think I tried?
Meaning, I've already tried that.
I've already done that, of course.
Yogi says each time I think I have the right, the correct department and leave a voicemail message, either I don't hear back or I get palmed off on another office.
Yogi calls what he thinks is the correct office.
He leaves a message, but then he doesn't hear back.
To hear back means to receive a response from your message, either your email or your telephone message.
The phrase to be palmed, P-A-L-M-E-D, off, means that you are passed to another person or department.
For example, if you go and ask someone a question in a government office and the person says to you oh no, you have to go to that office, you're being palmed off, you're being handed to another department.
One of the meanings of this expression is that the person with whom you speak originally doesn't really want to deal with you, doesn't want to handle the problem, so they're going to give you to someone else because they don't want to do the work.
That could be one reason why you are palmed off.
Palm P-A-L-M is the part of your hand that is between your wrist and your fingers, the inside part of your hand.
Yogi says, I can't get a straight answer to any of my questions.
A straight S T R A I G H T answer is a clear, direct, honest answer.
Yogi can't get a straight answer to any of his questions, because He then says The expression red tape means a lot of rules and regulations that have to be followed, that are required by usually a government organization.
These are often considered unnecessary or even silly regulations that you have to follow, rules that somebody created that don't really have any good purpose.
Deborah says, so I see what you mean about that two-edged sword.
Deborah is saying she understands why Yogi described his government contract as a two-edged sword with pluses and minuses.
Yogi says, I can think of one good use for that sword right now to put me out of my misery.
Remember, we said a sword is basically a weapon that you can use to cut or kill someone.
The expression to put someone out of his misery.
M-I-S-E-R-Y means to kill someone as an act of kindness, someone who's suffering.
If you have a dog that's very sick, you might want to put the dog out of its misery.
Misery is suffering, is pain.
So you're trying to stop the dog from suffering.
Here, of course, Yogi is joking.
He doesn't really want to kill himself.
He just wants to no longer suffer the pain of dealing with a bureaucracy.
Now let's listen to the dialogue, this time at a normal speed.
I knew when we got this government contract that it would be a two-edged sword.
How so?
I'm grateful for the work, but having to jump through hoops of the government's bureaucracy has me pulling my hair out.
What's wrong now?
You know that all of our documents have to be submitted in triplicate.
I anticipated that and had done everything to the letter, or so I thought.
I know.
I helped you prepare those documents.
What's the problem?
The documents were sent back to us because they say we didn't follow some of the reporting regulations.
But the verbiage in the regulations is so convoluted that I had to interpret them to the best of my ability.
I thought I had done everything right.
All I got was a form letter with no specifics.
I suggest calling the office responsible for reviewing the documents and asking someone there.
You don't think I've tried?
Every time I think I have the right department and leave a voicemail message, either I don't hear back or I get palmed off on another office.
I can't get a straight answer to any of my questions.
I never expected this much red tape.
So I see what you mean about that two-edged sword.
I can think of one good use for that sword right now, to put me out of my misery.
There's nothing convoluted about our Scripts on ESL podcast, thanks to our wonderful script writer, Dr Lucy Say.
From Los Angeles, California, I'm Jeff McQuillan.
Thank you for listening.
Come back and listen to us again right here on esl podcast.
English as a second language podcast is written and produced by dr lucy say, hosted by dr jeff mcquillan.
Copyright 2014 by the center for educational development.
