Taking Someone for Granted This is English as a Second Language podcast, episode 709.
I'm your host, Dr Jeff McQuillan, coming to you from the Center for Educational Development in beautiful Los Angeles, California.
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This episode is a conversation between Phil and Cameron.
Cameron is the woman in the dialogue.
It's about taking someone for granted.
Always a dangerous thing in a relationship.
Let's get started.
Did you hear that Melissa has finally left Eric?
It's about time.
Oh, that's sad.
It's always sad when two people can't make it work.
Well, it wasn't for a lack of trying on Melissa's part.
She bent over backwards trying to please Eric, and he always took her for granted.
If you ask me, Melissa was always too good for him.
Really?
I don't know Eric too well, but he seemed nice.
Yeah, he's nice on the surface, but he's really a slime ball.
Trust me, I know.
I believe you.
But what's Melissa going to do now?
I think she should find a nice guy who'll appreciate her.
Someone like you?
She could do worse.
I'd treat her right and make her happy.
You sound like a man with a plan.
Be prepared.
Isn't that what the Boy Scouts say?
Phil begins by saying to Cameron, Did you hear that Melissa has finally left Eric?
It's about time.
Did you hear, meaning did someone tell you, or did you have this information?
The information is that Melissa, a girl, a woman, has finally left Eric.
The expression to leave someone when we're talking about a romantic relationship is to end the relationship.
Another way of saying this would be to break up.
We often use to break up when we're talking about two people ending their romantic connection, their romantic relationship.
But you can also simply use the verb to leave.
To leave has many other meanings, of course.
Those can be found, some of them, in our learning guide.
Phil says, it's about time.
That's a phrase to show that you are happy, you are relieved that something has finally happened.
You had hoped it would happen earlier, but now finally it has happened.
Phil is happy that Melissa has left Eric.
Cameron says, oh, that's sad.
It's always sad when two people can't make it work.
Make it work means to try very hard to make something successful.
You'll often hear that when people are talking about relationships.
They couldn't make it work, meaning they tried, but it was not possible for them to continue their relationship.
So Cameron is sad.
Phil says, well, it wasn't for lack of trying on Melissa's part.
He's saying that Melissa tried to make it work.
The expression, not for a lack of trying, is used to mean that someone did try very hard.
They did attempt to do something, especially something that was difficult or perhaps unpleasant.
It's almost always used in the negative.
It's not for a lack of trying that I was not able to visit my brother today.
I tried very hard.
I drove many miles, but the weather was bad and I wasn't able to arrive on time.
But it was not for a lack of trying, meaning I tried very hard.
Phil says that Melissa tried very hard also.
He uses the expression on Melissa's part, which means simply, by Melissa.
Phil says that Melissa bent over backwards to try to please Eric.
To bend over backwards means is an expression that means to do everything possible for something to happen, especially when you are trying to make things easier for another person.
So, Melissa bent over backwards.
She tried very hard.
To please Eric.
To please, as a verb, means to make someone happy or to make someone satisfied.
Please has other meanings as well, and some of those are in our learning guide for this episode.
Phil says that Eric took Melissa for granted.
This is important, often something that might happen in a relationship.
You take the other person for granted.
Husbands, do not take your wives for granted.
They will not be very happy.
Trust me, I know.
So, Phil says that Eric took Melissa for granted.
He says, Melissa was always too good for him.
When you say someone is too good for someone else, you mean that they are better than someone, that that other person was not as good as they are and that the other person did not deserve to be with this person that you think is too good for the other one.
So if Melissa is too good for Eric, that means that Eric is not as good a person as Melissa, and Melissa should try to find someone else.
Cameron says, really?
I don't know Eric too well, but he seemed nice.
Phil says, yeah, he's nice on the surface, but he's really a slime ball.
On the surface means related to how you seem at first before you really understand the other person.
Another word we might use is superficially.
It means that it appears that a person is one way, but once you get to know them better, you realize that they aren't that friendly, or they aren't that nice, or they aren't that smart, and so forth.
Phil says that Eric is nice on the surface, but he's really, he's truly, actually a slime ball.
A slime ball.
S-L-I-M-E-B-A-L-L is an informal word describing someone who you don't want to spend a lot of time with because you don't respect him.
You don't think that he's a good person.
He does bad things.
He does tricky things.
He does things in secret, perhaps, that are not very nice, or he's not honest with the other person.
It's a very negative way to describe someone.
Usually a man often used to talk about a man who is not nice to his romantic partners.
Phil says, Cameron says, But what's Melissa going to do now?
Phil says, I think she should find a nice guy who'll appreciate her.
Phil thinks that Melissa should get a new romantic partner, someone who is a nice guy who will appreciate her.
To appreciate is the opposite of to take for granted.
To appreciate someone is to recognize their good qualities, to value them, to let them know that you are happy to thank them.
Cameron asks Phil, someone like you, meaning should Melissa be your romantic partner?
Phil says she could do worse.
This is an interesting expression.
When you say someone could do worse, you're talking about something that isn't perfect yet, but it's not bad and it's better than most other similar things.
In this case, Phil is saying that he's not perfect, he's not the perfect person, but he's a pretty good person, a good choice for Melissa.
It's often used to talk about romantic relationships.
When you say that someone could do worse, you mean that the person they are with isn't perfect, but there are a lot of other people who are worse.
Phil says I would treat Melissa right, meaning I would be kind, I would be appreciative thoughtful, nice considerate of this person.
I would not do bad things to them.
Cameron says A man with a plan is someone who knows what he wants to do, who already has thought of things to do in order to accomplish what he wants to.
Phil says, Isn't that what the Boy Scouts say?
The Boy Scouts is an organization that teaches young boys practical skills, values, and so forth.
I was a Boy Scout, I think, when I was a young boy.
The saying, the motto of the Boy Scouts, the expression that they use is be prepared, meaning always be ready.
In order to be prepared, of course, you have to work hard, you have to practice, you have to train.
And those are some of the values that the Boy Scouts are supposed to teach the young boys.
There's also, of course, the Girl Scouts, which is a similar organization for young girls.
Now let's listen to the dialogue, this time at a normal speed.
Did you hear that Melissa has finally left Eric?
It's about time.
Oh, that's sad.
It's always sad when two people can't make it work.
Well, it wasn't for a lack of trying on Melissa's part.
She bent over backwards trying to please Eric, and he always took her for granted.
If you ask me, Melissa was always too good for him.
Really?
I don't know Eric too well, but he seemed nice.
Yeah, he's nice on the surface, but he's really a slimeball.
Trust me, I know.
I believe you.
But what's Melissa going to do now?
I think she should find a nice guy who will appreciate her. someone like you?
She could do worse.
I treat her right and make her happy.
You sound like a man with a plan.
Be prepared.
Isn't that what the Boy Scouts say?
We never want to take our scriptwriter for granted.
We appreciate what she does.
That's why we thank her on the end of every ESL podcast.
Thank you, Lucy.
From Los Angeles, California, I'm Jeff McQuillan.
Thank you for listening.
Come back and listen to us again here on ESL Podcast.
English as a Second Language podcast is written and produced by Dr Lucy Say, hosted by Dr Jeff McQuillan.
Copyright 2011 by the Center for Education and Development.
